Gamescom is held in Germany, and sometimes that means that our time zones don’t always line up in the best possible way. As a result, EA’s Gamescom Conference began at 1am PST / 4am EST. While that means most of us couldn’t stream it live, it’s nice waking up to a flood of new details on anticipated games coming out over the next year.
One of the most exciting titles hitting this year is Star Wars Battlefront. New footage was shown, and a new mode was revealed. Fight Squadron lets you fight epic space battles between the Rebels and the Empire. The best part is that it allows you to fly classic ships like X-Wings, Tie Fighters, the Millennium Falcon, and even Bobba Fetts ship, the Slave 1.
A surprise hit at the launch of the Xbox One was Plants Vs Zombies: Garden Warfare. The experiment was a resounding success, and a sequel was announced at E3. Today, EA announced two new characters for the upcoming game: A Corncob with a heavy fire gun called Kernal Cob, and a Mass Effect themed character that goes by the name Grass Effect. In shocking news (*sarcasm*), Grass Effect is only available to those that preorder.(*Editor’s Note: Sigh!)
Actual gameplay was shown for Mirrors Edge: Catalyst (although a “pre-alpha footage” disclaimer was pasted in the bottom right corner), and it appears to be classic Mirrors Edge gameplay with a modern shine. They also revealed a new, masked villain who will be standing in the way of Faith and her mission. I loved the original, and this is definitely the game I am most excited for heading into 2016.
Information was given for the new FIFA, including the return of Ultimate Team mode. FIFA, along with all EA Sports games, builds on the foundation of the previous year, not straying too far from the original formula, so everything that was shown came as no surprise. The game also featured a new broadcast-style presentation.
Not to leave PC gamers out in the cold, EA announced a new expansion for The Sims 4. The Sims 4: Get Together allows the Sims to join clubs and opens up the new town of Windenburg. The Sims has a history of releasing quality expansions in the past to grow the overall experience, and this doesn’t appear to be changing anytime soon.
Are you excited to hear more about Battlefront and Mirrors Edge? What more would you like to see in the future? Let us know in the comments down below.
The highly anticipated trailer to FOX’s upcoming Deadpool has finally hit the web and Ryan Reynolds is glorious as the merc with a mouth. The clip was first released during San Diego Comic-Con to eager fans.
Official synopsis:
Based upon Marvel Comics’ most unconventional anti-hero, DEADPOOL tells the origin story of former Special Forces operative turned mercenary Wade Wilson, who after being subjected to a rogue experiment that leaves him with accelerated healing powers, adopts the alter ego Deadpool. Armed with his new abilities and a dark, twisted sense of humor, Deadpool hunts down the man who nearly destroyed his life.
The film stars Ryan Reynolds, Morena Baccarin, Ed Skrein, T.J. Miller, Gina Carano, and Brianna Hildebrand. It is directed by Tim Miller and comes out next year February 12, 2016.
PLUS!!! Here is the red band trailer that you really wanna watch: *******NSFW!
And lastly only Deadpool would release a trailer to the trailer:
The cool thing about this Monday’s RAW is that Danielle and I were there tonight at SAP Center in San Jose. We’ll try to post some pics as well as some select video cuts…but we had a blast. We are a couple weeks from SummerSlam and Brock Lesnar is returning tonight. John Cena’s supposed to be off-camera due to a legit broken nose during an accidental spot where Rollins clipped him with his knee. Let’s see how tonight went…
We start with the entire roster out on the entrance ramp for the memorial for “Rowdy” Roddy Piper.
I can’t do it justice…so just watch this.
The crowd chants “ROWDY” following this and we get our titles to the show.
WE ARE LIVE(!!!) FROM SAN JOSE, CALIFORNIA FOR MONDAY NIGHT RAW!!!
JBL, Cole and King are the guys on the mics. SAP is so loud, it’s insane.
TONIGHT: Roman Reigns, Dean Ambrose & Randy Orton vs. The Wyatts & Sheamus
Seth Rollins starts us off, wearing a new shirt that mocks John Cena’s “Never Give Up” shirt. It reads “NEVER SHUT UP” on the front and “YOU CAN’T SEE KNEE” on the back. Cole recaps when Rollins broke Cena’s nose last week. Rollins says that there’s only one person who can slow him down…and that person is himself. Rollins says he knows he has a problem. It’s been plaguing him for some time. He’s got an issue with sympathy. He presents a clip of last week when he broke Cena’s nose. The San Jose crowd chants, “THANK YOU, ROLLINS”. He says he felt Cena’s nose crack on his knee. He heard the pop when it shattered. He didn’t feel bad at first. That sort of thing happens in a WWE ring. Rollins says that’s the first time he’s “broken the face of the man who runs the place”. Rollins says that Cena rolled over and he could see what he did to Cena. We get pics of Cena’s nose, which looks distorted. He asks who wouldn’t feel sympathy for a face like that. He knew that the match needed to be stopped so Rollins could be awarded the United States title…but Cena went ahead with the match — and beat Rollins. But that won’t happen again. He has a proposition for John Cena: he knows that Cena’s at home, recovering, “looking like a cross between a raccoon and a Picasso painting”. Rollins wants to do this again — one more time. He wants the match to be title for title at SummerSlam. He says that if Cena doesn’t show up, it means he’s afraid. It doesn’t matter. Cena either won’t show or Rollins will beat him. One of them will hold both titles at the same time. As for tonight, San Jose is the place to be! The arena pops. Rollins says it’s because of HIM. He won his title here. (DANIELLE: I thought he won it in San Francisco…that’s weird.) He says that this is the time when Cena issues his Open Challenge…but HE will have one instead. For the first time, it’s a WWE World Heavyweight Championship Open Challenge.
We go to break…
When we come back from break, JoJo is in the ring with Rollins. She just can’t believe what Rollins just did. He says it’s legit. The Authority approves of this 100 percent…except there’s a couple catches:
His opponent has to be under 6 feet tall.
His opponent has to be under 200 pounds.
JoJo pretends like the entire mid-card roster doesn’t exist and says that El Torito’s the only one that matches that description. Rollins likes the way she thinks and calls out El Torito. His music hits and SAP just dies…until Neville’s music hits instead — and thank the fuck christ for that. The arena was about to riot.
MATCH #1: Seth Rollins (champion) vs. Neville (challenger) for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship A series of counters and wristlocks to start. Rollins puts Neville in the corner and stomps at him. Neville flips out of the trouble, then hits a Hurricarana. Rollins flies out of the ring, so Neville hits a Moonsault to the outside, followed by two more. When we comes back, Rollins is in control. Neville breaks a headlock but Rollins drops his neck on the ropes and covers for two. Rollins goes for a Side Suplex but Neville lands on his feet and nails Rollins in the jaw. Neville hits a series of kicks but Rollins comes back with a Zigg Zagg for two. Rollins hits a running knee to Neville’s gut in the corner. Rollins hits a forearm, then goes top rope but Neville kicks him in the head on the way down. Neville nails Rollins with a Reverse Frankenstein and NEARLY gets the pin! Rollins tries a German Suplex. Neville counters and lands on his feet, hitting a German Suplex! Neville gets up, pulls Rollins off his stomach and hits a German Suplex PIN! TWO COUNT!!! Neville sets up for the Red Arrow but Rollins gets to his feet. Neville jumps over him and Rollins hits a HUGE clothesline that turns Neville inside out. Rollins goes for the Pedigree but Neville counters into a pin and ALMOST GETS THREE!!! HOLY SHIT!!! Crowd is PISSED, but what a match! Rollins goes top rope but Neville gets to his feet and leaps up at Rollins and hits a HUGE SUPER FRANKENSTEINER!!! Neville goes for the Red Arrow and HITS IT!!! 1…2…3!NOOOOO!!! Rollins foot was on the rope because Neville hooked the leg too deep! Man, oh, man…SAP is NUTS right now. The fans around us chant “ONE MORE TIME”! Nevill obliges…but Rollins moves and hits a Pedigree to retain at 13:04. WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Rollins via Pedigree
RATING: ****. What a match. This is a dark horse for Match of the Year IMO.
TONIGHT: Brock Lesnar is here.
NEXT: 8-MAN TAG MATCH – Los Matadores & Lucha Dragons vs. The New Day & The Ascension
The Primetime Players are on commentary.
MATCH #2: Los Matadores (Fernando & Diego) (w/ El Torito) & Lucha Dragons (Sin Cara & Kalisto) vs. The Ascension (Konnor & Viktor) & The New Day (Big E & Kofi Kingston) (w/ Xavier Woods) Kalisto and Kofi start. The two of them flip around and both land on their feet. Tag to Fernando. He nails Kofi, then tags Diego who pins for two. Fernando gets back in and does a flipping cradle pin for two. Viktor tags in and rushes at Fernando but Fernando stops him and gets in an OLE! Fernando gets dumped from the ring. When we come back from break, Kofi dropkicks Fernando as Xavier screams at ringside. Viktor gets back in the ring. He drops a knee for two. Fernando tries a Sunset Flip and gets two. Viktor gets up and puts Fernando on the mat. He attacks the face corner, then runs into a body drop by Fernando. Hot tags bring in Cara and Kofi. Cara hits a Springboard Moonsault for two. We get the obligatory Bodies Everywhere on the Floor spot where everyone hits a high risk dive outside. Kalisto tags and hits a cross body on Kofi for two. Kalisto goes top rope. Xavier tries to interfere. El Torito leaps up on the mat to bite Xavier’s leg, drawing him back down. Kofi hits Trouble in Paradise off the distraction and gets the pin at 8:19. WINNERS: The New Day/Ascension
RATING: *1/2. This was sloppy as hell. Konnor never got in the ring except when the cameras were off during the commercial break. I don’t understand why any of these men are fighting each other when the primary feud is between The New Day and Prime Time Players.
NEXT: Paige, Charlotte and Becky are in action.
Paige and her girls are now called “The Submission Sorority” just in case Team B.A.D. didn’t sound shitty enough. Is it possible to NOT have all 9 women grouped into three stables? That defeats the purpose of each one of them vying for Nikki’s title.
MATCH #3: The Bella Twins (Brie Bella & WWE Divas Champion Nikki Bella) (w/ Alicia Fox) vs. Charlotte & Becky Lynch (w/ Paige) Brie and Becky face off first. Brie tosses Becky to the mat by her hair. Becky suddenly jumps up and hits a Drop Toehold. A couple legdrops and tag to Charlotte. The two reverse holds. Nikki kicks Charlotte in the head from behind after Brie tags her in. The two trade holds. Charlotte applies a Front Facelock. Nikki breaks and ends up in the Figure Eight. Nikki immediately kicks Charlotte away. A weird botch moment where Brie swings at Charlotte but pulls her punch. Twice. Nikki knocks Charlotte down and Brie tags in. The two women team up to drop Charlotte to the mat. Brie applies CHINLOCK CITY BITCH. Charlotte breaks the hold and tags Becky who clotheslines the hell out of Brie. Two count. Brie tries a suplex but Becky counters with the Dis-Armer. Brie’s too close to the ropes and breaks the hold. Brie rolls out of the ring. Becky Baseball Slides at Team Bella but they all move out of the way like the fucking Red Sea. Brie completely telegraphs her clothesline because she’s suddenly required to yell her own name or something before she executes a move. She hits it anyway. After a break, it’s Nikki with Becky in a headlock. Tag to Brie who pins Becky for two. Bulldog by Brie. Two count. Brie Mode Running Knee and two count. Becky breaks a headlock but both women clothesline each other. Finally, we get a hot tag that takes so long, the crowd attempting to rally the ladies just stops clapping. Finally, we get Nikki and Charlotte. Weak Flair Chops and a Spear by Charlotte. Two count. Brie comes in but Becky takes her out. Charlotte runs at Nikki and ends up in a Spinebuster for two. Nikki tries a Wristlock but Charlotte counters into a Figure Eight to win the match. WINNERS: Charlotte & Becky Lynch
RATING: **. Got better as it went along but far too long and sloppy to boot with some horrible blown spots.
Team B.A.D. is backstage, watching this all. JoJo says that Paige and her team have taken control of the Divas Division. Team B.A.D. disagrees. Naomi says she is challenging Paige to a match tonight.
STILL TO COME: Brock Lesnar and the 6-Man Tag Main Event
BUT UP NEXT: MizTV w/ Kevin Owens and Cesaro
MizTV starts. Miz breaks kayfabe and calls his show “The 2nd Best Talk Show in WWE” because Piper’s Pit was the genesis of these spots. He says he will miss Piper — and then steps back into kayfabe.
He says he’s on fire. He’s a WWE Superstar, judge on Tough Enough and movie star. He says that once Ryback stops nursing his injury, he will be the new IC Champion. He says Ryback should vacate the IC title if he can’t fight for it. He says the title should go to him. He says that his first guest is more on fire than he is: Kevin Owens. Owens comes down and says he’s a huge fan and says that he owns “all of Miz’s movies on Bluray. Miz thanks him and asks why Cesaro has such a problem with Owens. Owens says Cesaro is jealous — and Cesaro’s music hits.
Miz says he’s a bit pissed that Cesaro couldn’t wait. Owens says that he has succeeded where Cesaro has failed. Cesaro has never beaten John Cena. Owens says that no matter how hard Cesaro works or how dedicated he is, he will never match Owens or his ability and passion for the business. Cesaro says he’s not jealous of Owens. He’s ashamed of him. He says that Owens walks away from a match. When he does it, he disrespects everyone in WWE. He calls Owens an embarrassment. Owens gets up and the chair sticks to him. Oops. Owens gets in Cesaro’s face. Cesaro tells Owens that he’s all bluster, but Cesaro wants to fight. Miz cheers them on. Cesaro and Owens both tell Miz to shut up. Owens tells Miz to shut his mouth and let the two adults “who know how to fight” mix it up. Owens says a fight isn’t happening. Cesaro tells Owens to “walk, Owens, walk”. Owens gets back in the ring and shoves Miz into Owens. He follows up the attack but Cesaro trips him and goes for the Swing. Owens escapes and the segment ends with the two jawing at each other.
TONIGHT: Naomi and Paige go at it.
Rusev’s out to wrestle as we get clips of Rusev injuring Dolph a few weeks back.
MATCH #4: Rusev (w/ Summer Rae) vs. Mark Henry So, we’re defaulting to old Rusev, then? Rusev with stomps and Front Facelock. Henry breaks and hits a body slam for two. Rusev kicks out and hits a Superkick. Then it’s a Thrust Kick to finish it. WINNER: Rusev
RATING: n/a – squash
Post-match, more Super-Kicking and what-not. Summer celebrates and claps like Single White Female and that’s that.
Cole plugs SummerSlam on WWE Network. Then decides to pump us up with a clip from Swerved. (DANIELLE: This makes no more sense than it did last night.)
STILL TO COME: The 6-Man Tag Team Match
Bray edit. Wyatt plucks the petals of a flower. He says that without its petals, the flower becomes a weed. Then it’s gone. Wyatt says he will take Roman’s popularity away. Harper says that they warned Reigns. Sheamus shows up! Yay! He says he will Brogue Kick Orton in the face. Wyatt says the enemy of his enemy is his friend. Well, yeah, they’re all heels. Whatever.
Barrett is out here. Zack Ryder is alive and in the ring, apparently. Barrett calls Ryder “The King of the Internet”, a gimmick we haven’t seen since 2011 but, ok.
MATCH #5: Zack Ryder vs. King Barrett Barrett knocks Ryder down and hits a side headlock. Ryder fights out and plants Barrett’s face into the mat on a charge. Ryder hits a Missile Dropkick and a corner splash. Broski Boot in the corner. Ryder charges at Barrett but Barrett dodges and drops Ryder on the top buckle. ROAL BULLHAMMER MIGGAL wins it. WINNER: Barrett via Bullhammer
RATING: n/a – squash
Paul Heyman is out to speak. First, he shows us a montage from Battleground when The Undertaker beat up Brock Lesnar. He says the person who beat up Lesnar was not the same Undertaker. He calls the Undertaker “desperate”. He says that The Undertaker is just a bitch. Then he shows us the recap from last week. He says The Undertaker is doing this because he’s insecure. He knows he can never beat Lesnar. Lesnar is the “1 in 22-1”. He calls out Lesnar. In a nod to the last time they were in San Jose, Lesnar comes to the announce table and glares at Michael Cole. Lesnar just smiles and keeps walking. Then he picks up some steel steps and tosses them in the ring. He gets on top of those steps like an Olympian gladiator.
Paul Heyman reminds us of what happened at WrestleMania XXX. He claims that The Undertaker begged McMahon for a re-match at WrestleMania 31 — and that’s coming from a man who begs nobody for anything. So Undertaker beat Bray Wyatt, then came in out of nowhere to beat up Lesnar at Battleground. Heyman says that, for the first time ever, Lesnar will face The Undertaker in the “Match Too Big for WrestleMania”. It’s too big for everyone. Lesnar will stamp the “EAT” in “EAT, SLEEP, SUPLEX, REPEAT”. Undertaker is going to Suplex City. Heyman does the Latin Last Rites to end this epic segment.
MATCH #6: Paige (w/ Charlotte & Becky) vs. Naomi (w/ Tamina & NXT Women’s Champion Sasha Banks) Paige and Naomi lock up. Paige puts her to the mat for two. Naomi tries to slam Paige. Paige rolls her up for two. Kick by Paige. Two count. Paige slams Naomi’s head in the corner. Naomi breaks out. Paige tries to put her back in the corner and charges but Naomi rubs her ass in Paige’s face. #DivaRevolution! Naomi goes for a Backstabber but it’s horribly botched as Paige just rolls off of it. Naomi hits a Bulldog into the second buckle for two. Side headlock by Naomi. Paige breaks, so Naomi kicks at her and hits a Running Kneedrop for two. Paige rolls into the corner and Naomi stomps at her. She begins kicking at Paige’s side from outside the ring, then rolls her back in and pins for two. Paige finally fights back and kicks Naomi. Naomi tries a Cross Body but Paige catches her for a Fallaway Slam. Paige hits clotheslines and a Dropkick. Paige runs at Naomi who dodges and drops Paige’s neck on the middle rope. Naomi goes for another Bulldog but Paige breaks it. Naomi kicks Paige away from her and tries a Cross Body. She misses. Paige hits a Superkick and hits the PTO for the win at 7:25. WINNER: Paige via PTO
RATING: *1/2. Sloppy and boring. Look, it’s all well and good that we have some new blood in the Divas Divison…but there’s no story and, as a result, there’s no intensity or velocity.
Earlier, Neville ALMOST won the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. But, he didn’t.
Cole catches us up with Stardust. He wants Neville to be his hero. Also, Arrow‘s Steve Amell will be on RAW next week.
NEXT: A repeat of the Roddy tribute.
Madison Square Garden sent out a Tweet, saying that Piper was a “friend to the Garden” and paid tribute to them on the marquee. The video tribute is as bittersweet and heartbreaking as ever no matter how many times I watch it.
Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose hang out in the back. Ambrose says they’re here to kick ass and chew bubblegum. He spits out his gum. Ambrose says he’s all out of bubblegum. Reigns says he’s ready to respond with actions. Orton shows up and says that he wants Sheamus for himself.
NEXT MONDAY: Stephen Amell is on RAW next week.
The main event begins…AND ROMAN REIGNS COMES DOWN OUR WALKWAY!!!
We are to the right of him in this image.
MATCH #7: Randy Orton, Dean Ambrose & Roman Reigns vs. Sheamus & The Wyatt Family (Bray Wyatt & Luke Harper) Ambrose and Harper start with Ambrose beating Harper in the corner. Ambrose hits a lariat, then knocks the heel corner around. Then it’s a short Pier 6. The heels leave the ring, so Ambrose hits a Flying Elbow to the outside. After break, Sheamus and Reigns go at it. Reigns just beats him up and throws him out of the ring, then beats him up outside. The two trade blows before Sheamus tosses him into the barricade. Back in the ring, Sheamus tags Wyatt — but Harper tags himself in. Reigns doesn’t care and yells, “I’ll take you out first, bitch!” They trade blows and Harper tries a suplex but Reigns counters and reverses. Tag to Ambrose who dropkicks Harper in the chest, then pummels him in the corner. Harper comes back with a dropkick. Tag to Wyatt and he hits some mean looking forearms. He puts Ambrose in the corner and then props him on the second buckle. He goes for a Superplex but Ambrose blocks it and headbutts Bray to the mat. Harper attacks but Ambrose knocks him down. Wyatt nails Ambrose — and it’s another break.
When we come back, Ambrose is still in trouble. Bray clotheslines him out of his shoes. Tag to Harper who drops a knee. He slams Ambrose and then stares. Another slam and Ambrose is in pain. Finally, Ambrose comes back with a slam of his own. Harper gets up and rushes but Ambrose dumps him from the ring. Harper gets back in but Ambrose hits a Swinging Neckbreaker. Tags to Orton and Bray. Orton hits a Powerslam in Stride, then the back to backbreaker. Vintage Orton DDT and he sets up for the RKO. Harper gets in the ring and clotheslines Orton. Ambrose runs in and hits a Sitting Dropkick. He hits a Suicide Dive, then tries to rush at Harper but Harper clotheslines him. Reigns clotheslines Harper and begs for a tag from Orton. Sheamus tags in with Reigns. Samoan Drop by Reigns and clotheslines in the corner. Reigns clotheslines Sheamus out of the ring, then hits the Sitting Dropkick outside. Reigns nails Bray with a sitting dropkick and Reigns nails Harper with a clotheslines. Back in the ring, Reigns goes for a Superman Punch on Sheamus. Wyatt climbs on the mat, so Reigns decks him. Sheamus rolls Reigns up for the Distraction Finish — but Reigns kicks out because we’re not ending the night in San Jose like that. Sheamus goes for a Powerslam. Reigns breaks and hits a Superman Punch. Harper Superkicks him. Ambrose gets in the ring and it’s a Rebound Clothesline off a slap. Wyatt gets up and tries Sister Abigail on Ambrose but Ambrose breaks, runs and dives at Harper outside. Wyatt taunts Ambrose — but doesn’t see Randy Orton creeping up behind him. Orton nails him with an RKO that blows the roof off SAP. Sheamus gets in the ring and tries a Brogue. He misses. Reigns hits the Spear and we’re done at 16:39. WINNERS: Ambrose/Reigns/Orton
RATING: ***1/2. Loved this match. So much fun. The crowd in the arena was totally into this. It was crazy awesome.
Paige and Stone Cold are getting ready for the Stone Cold Podcast as the heroes celebrate the win.
OVERALL: I may have some bias since we were at the event…but this was a good show WWE put on. The final tag match didn’t exactly advertise fireworks but managed to deliver a wonderfully crazy finish that the crowd just ate up with a giant spoon. The Neville/Rollins match was also great. One of the better RAW shows in quite some time.
At E3 this year, Microsoft said they held back some of their big guns for Gamescom. Until today, we only knew that Quantum Break, Crackdown and Scalebound would make an appearance. Luckily that wasn’t all they brought as Microsoft had a few more tricks up their sleeve.
The conference opened with new Quatum Break footage, and once again, it truly impressed. The demo was action packed with main character manipulating time and taking out hoards of enemies. They ended the show with letting us know that the game will launch April 5, 2016.
After Quantum Break came the next big Xbox exclusive, Crackdown. This picks up with the same formula as previous Crackdown games, as you run, gun, and jump your way across the city. They announced that the city will be 100% destructible and through the power of Azure cloud computing, it will be able to render 20 times more destruction than your average Xbox One game.
As if this impressive show couldn’t get any better, Hideki Kamiya took the stage to introduce the first gameplay footage for the new game from Platinum, Scalebound. In the game you play as Drew, a dragon riding warrior. Once he puts on his headphones, it becomes classic Platinum gameplay, as he is hacking and slashing through enemies at a quick pace.
The gameplay hook is that you are allowed to use your dragon companion to attack enemies and get the edge on the competition. Kamiya also announced that the game will feature 4-player online co-op. It will be a long excruciating wait until it arrives Holiday 2016.
Microsoft then took the time to mention new features coming to the Xbox One. In November the Xbox One will receive its new user interface that will match up with Windows 10. It will also be opening backwards compatibility to all of its users and a DVR functionality will be added to record your favorite shows, even with the console off (as long as your Xbox is on instant-on mode). Another awesome feature of the DVR functionality is that it will allow you to stream your recorded programs to any Windows 10 device in your home.
After the upcoming features discussion, the direction pointed back to games. Some highlights include a 3rd season for Killer Instinct, including the addition of Rash from Battletoads, Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night will feature cross play with Windows 10, and Thimbleweed Park from creative mind Ron Gilbert, will be making its way to Xbox One. I really don’t know how I will be able to keep up with all of this content! In addition, Microsoft announced that from this point on, all Xbox 360 free Games With Gold titles will be backwards compatible with the Xbox One, which means more games for Xbox One owners to look forward to.
To end the show, Microsoft decided to show off more multiplayer for Halo 5, going as far as to bring on professional eSport players to show us how its done. After, 343 Industries and Microsoft dropped one last surprise announcement . Halo Wars 2 is currently in development by Creative Assembly (the team behind the Total War franchise). Halo Wars 2 is a title that fans have been begging for but never thought would see the light of day!
The conference kicked off with Xbox head Phil Spencer announcing that this would be the best year in Xbox history, and with all that they announced, its hard to deny it. 2015 and 2016 will be great years to be an Xbox One owner.
Are you excited for the games they showed off at Gamescom? Which titles would you like to hear more about? Let us know in the comments down below!
Today Syfy announced that season one of The Magicians begins production in Vancouver, Canada. The scripted series will have 13 episodes and will air in early 2016. In addition, Olivia Taylor Dudley has been cast as a series regular. She will be playing Alice, a timid student who eventually becomes a skilled magical practioner.
Dudley will be next seen in the upcoming film Vatican Tapes with Michael Pena and has just finished production on Paranormal Activity 5.
Check out the trailer:
Here is the full press release:
NEW YORK – August 4, 2015 – Syfy and Universal Cable Productions’ (UCP) latest scripted drama series, The Magicians, will commence season one production on August 4 in Vancouver, Canada. The 13 episode season will air in early 2016 on Syfy.
Starring Jason Ralph (Quentin Coldwater), Stella Maeve (Julia), Hale Appleman (Eliot),Arjun Gupta (Penny) and Summer Bishil (Margo), The Magicians is based on Lev Grossman’s best-selling novels. The series centers on Quentin, a brilliant grad student chosen to attend Brakebills College for Magical Pedagogy, a secret upstate New York university specializing in magic. He and his 20-something friends soon discover that the magical fantasy world they read about as children is all too real – and poses grave danger to humanity.
Olivia Taylor Dudley will also join the cast as a series regular, it was announced today. Dudley plays Alice, an intensely shy and delicately lovely young woman. Born of a magical but neglectful family, Alice is an outcast among her fellow students at Brakebills, but nonetheless emerges as the most brilliant magical practitioner in her class.
Dudley appears in the upcoming Lakeshore/Lionsgate film Vatican Tapes opposite Michael Pena, just wrapped production on Paranormal Activity 5 for Paramount, and can be seen in the feature Dude Bro Party Massacre III. She was a LEAD in Oren Peli’s ensemble horror film The Chernobyl Diaries, from Alcon/Warner Bros. and has also appeared in The Dictator, Moneyballand Just Go With It. Her TV credits include The Comedians, CSI: Miami, NCIS, Don’t Trust the B in Apt. 23 and The Mindy Project. Olivia is a founding member of the prolific online sketch comedy group, “5secondfilms.com” which has gained notoriety through their tireless efforts to post a new, original, sketch every single day.
Additionally, The Magicians announces the following recurring guest stars for season one:
· Rick Worthy as Dean Fogg, the formidable Dean of Brakebills — an exacting leader and a keeper of secrets, balancing a great sense of authority with dry wit. Worthy is best known for his roles in Battlestar Galactica as Simon and Supernatural as the Alpha Vampire. His other recurring roles include Aquarius, The Vampire Diaries, CSI, Heroes,Felicity and Star Trek: Enterprise and Star Trek: Voyager. His upcoming projects include a recurring role on The Man in the High Castle.
· Anne Dudek as Professor Sunderland, a smart, charmingly scatterbrained woman dedicated to teaching Brakebills students how to hone their magical skills. Dudek is best known for her series regular role on Covert Affairs, as well as recurring roles on House, Mad Men, Bones, Less Than Perfect, Those Who Kill and Big Love. Dudek’s film roles include Brad Silberling’s 10 Items or Less, Kurt Voelker’s Park and The Wayans Brothers’ White Chicks. She can be seen next in Jenji Kohan’s pilot, The Devil You Know.
· Jade Tailor as Kady, a tough, rebellious and sexy Brakebills student who attracts Penny’s attention in and out of the classroom. Jade previously worked with The Magicians’s John McNamara and Sera Gamble on their NBC series Aquarius. Jade also recurs on TNT’s Murder in the First. Other television credits include True Blood andVegas. She has appeared in countless independent films including Wedding Day,Karma, Losing Control, Don’t Pass Me By, Cam2Cam as well as the upcoming Higher Power, Juke Box Hero, and Wild for the Night. She has also done numerous musical productions both in New York and LA.
· Esmé Bianco as Eliza, a paramedic who has a hand in initiating Quentin’s journey into real magic. Bianco is best known for her three season-long role of Ros in Game of Thrones. Her film credits include Burlesque Fairytales, Big I Am and Crowley. She will soon be seen in the movies Scorpion King 4, Living Among Us and Mind Puppets.
Groundswell Productions’ Michael London and Janice Williams (Milk) will executive produce The Magicians. John McNamara (Aquarius) and Sera Gamble (Supernatural), writers of the pilot, will serve as executive producers. Mike Cahill (I Origins) directed the pilot. Universal Cable Productions will serve as the studio.
Lev Grossman’s The Magicians trilogy is an international sensation, published and widely praised in more than twenty countries. The epic conclusion to the series, The Magician’s Land, opened at #1 last summer on the New York Times Hardcover Best Seller’s list, and was widely acclaimed as one of the best books of the year.
The Magicians joins other high profile upcoming Syfy originals, including the December 2015 premieres of epic space drama The Expanse, starring Thomas Jane, Steven Strait and Shohreh Aghdashloo; Childhood’s End, the first-ever adaptation of Arthur C. Clarke’s iconic novel starring Charles Dance, Mike Vogel and Julian McMahon; the acclaimed time travel thriller12 Monkeys, returning for its second season in early 2016; and Hunters, a 13-episode thriller from The Walking Dead executive producer Gale Anne Hurd, set to premiere in 2016.Childhood’s End, 12 Monkeys and Hunters are also from Universal Cable Productions.
Season 2, Episode 7 – “Black Maps and Motel Rooms” Air date: August 2, 2015
One of the biggest issues with True Detective this season has been its attempt to adapt the crime noir genre to a lengthy serialized television format. Where most films can wrap up in a couple of hours, True Detective has had to drag out its investigation to nearly four times the length, padding out the crowded but otherwise straightforward tale of murder and corruption. It’s only been in the last few episodes, where the dots are finally being connected, that the show can cut through most of the exposition and build real momentum towards its conclusion. “Black Maps and Motel Rooms” deals with the ramifications of all the critical events and evidence uncovered last week in “Church in Ruins”, but the penultimate episode in the season isn’t driven by the elucidation of the season’s central mystery. The more our protagonists uncover about the long-festering and far-reaching corruption, the more the walls slowly close in around them.
Pretty much everything comes into sharp focus in “Black Maps and Motel Rooms,” as our heroes begin piecing the disparate pieces of the mystery together. As an audience, there’s nothing particularly surprising about the conclusions they draw; at times it feels like the show’s running down a checklist of clues and explanations, delivered in torrents of exposition that occasionally border on overwhelming. Caspere’s shares in the land deal are being purchased by Osip and Blake, as part of a larger plan to take over Frank’s enterprise; the incriminating photos sent to Vera were taken by Tascha as blackmail evidence, but she was later caught and killed in the cabin; the blue diamonds were stolen by Holloway, Burris, and Dixon in the 1992 robbery and used to buy their way into Vinci’s corrupt empire.
Of course, one couldn’t ignore all the bloodshed this episode. Most prominently Paul Woodrugh, the tragic hero who wasn’t able to run away from his past and true self. Black Mountain has been reformed as Ares Security under the employ of the Catalast Group, and they blackmail Woodrugh with pictures in exchange for the the stolen contracts. He goes to the exchange only to be confronted by Holloway, but the scene doesn’t achieve much beyond serving as a tense and thrilling send off for Paul, who is shot in the back by Burris as he escapes above ground (these are definitely not rubber bullets). Velcoro called Woodrugh a god warrior following the Vinci Massacre, and that reputation holds true here–one element that critics of season two can’t deny are the incredible shootouts and action sequences we’ve been treated to so far.
Perhaps the other biggest shock of “Black Maps and Motel Rooms” is the death of State’s Attorney Davis, who is found by Velcoro during their planned meeting to turn over the contracts. Velcoro is justifiably in a rush to escape the scene, but the show moves a little too quickly to dwell on her death. A set up like that would be a perfect opportunity to capture or tail Ray, but the episode is more concerned with the follow through, compounding the shock of the moment with Frank Semyon confronting Blake in his office. Blake has a lot of beans to spill (see above re: torrents of exposition) before Frank spills Blake’s guts onto the carpet.
Frank is on the warpath now, emptying his safes and setting fire to the casino and club that he recently lost to Osip. He’s arranging business deals and gathering some firepower to strike back at Osip during a meeting with McCandless to buy Caspere’s shares. At the same time, he’s preparing fake passports and plane tickets. Ani, similarly, has convinced his father and sister to flee to the Pacific Northwest for a few days, while Ray is contemplating a means of escaping the country. “Black Maps and Motel Rooms” is a tense, foreboding hour of television that paints our heroes into a corner they’re unlikely to all escape, setting the pieces in place ahead of next week’s season finale.
Blake fesses up to just about everything except Caspere’s death, so his killer remains unknown.
Vera identifies one of the escorts in Tascha’s pictures as Laura, but Ray identifies her as Erica, Caspere’s secretary. So I guess she’s Laura Osterman, and she and her brother are Caspere’s killers.
Ray and Ani have sex, which I suppose is meant to serve as a much needed release of tension for the two of them, but it felt a little awkward and was overshadowed by the intercut scenes of Paul’s escape and death.
Maggie (Lennon Parham) holds her infant daughter, Charlotte. Emma (Jessica St. Clair) holds a giant banana. She has no idea why a giant banana is needed for a family photo with her, Maggie and the baby and declares the photographer to be “clinically insane”. Maggie’s feelings are hurt. She just wants to be the kind of Mom with the kind of family who makes the photographer’s Wall of Fame. Emma feels for her and agrees to take the photographer’s torture — only for the photographer to give her a parrot head (the size of a Smart Car) to wear.
If you’re a fan of USA’s “Playing House”, all of this should be normal, everyday behavior. If not, it’s totes kewl!
USA’s comedy series returns to the airwaves in an eight-episode run, bringing back the same great cast that made the show so much fun — but it’s a miracle it got that far. Fans of the series practically had to beg and petition the network for a renewal which, in my opinion, is really strange for the level of comedic wit that is seen in every episode of the show.
The show is about two old high school friends, Maggie and Emma, who rekindle their friendship after Maggie becomes pregnant and Emma comes out to the small town they grew up in to take care of her. After finding out that her husband is having an affair, Emma quits her job to help Maggie out full-time.
Whereas the humor in Playing House could sometimes delve into weird areas (Maggie’s breast milk leaking through her shirt during a date seems a bit forced in the second of two preview episodes), the show, at its core, is about camaraderie, female bonding and friendship that endures despite Emma and Maggie’s mutual flaws. The two play off each other so well, in fact, that a lot of the stories on the show feel real, thus we get a lot of Lucy-and-Ethel moments.
One of the best moments of the new season involves Emma’s old flame, Mark (Keegan-Michael Key) and his wife, Tina (Lindsay Sloane). Mark is sneaking around on his wife in order to visit baby Charlotte. Tina wants Mark as far away from Emma and Maggie as possible since Season 1’s fiasco where Tina discovered that Mark had once proposed to Emma before him and Tina were married, Emma declined and, in his depressed state, Mark ended up sleeping with Maggie — which Emma didn’t know about.
The problem is that Mark accidentally takes one of Charlotte’s favorite toys home — and Mark and Tina’s dog use it as a chew toy? Naturally, Emma and Maggie have to get it back. So they elect to go over to Mark’s place while he and Tina aren’t home and enter using his security codes. What could possibly go wrong?
The first two episodes are sharply-written despite having flaws (Maggie’s ex-husband living with his mother is a throwaway storyline that just needs to go away) and the show maintains the same high-spirited, laugh-a-minute pace that made it a hit with its followers.
USA is doing something new with this show, releasing the episodes online a week before they air.
Otherwise, the season premiere airs August 4th, 2015.
Rick andMorty
Season 2, Episode 2 – “Mortynight Run”
Air Date – August 2, 2015
There’s no show that dishes out difficult life lessons quite like Rick and Morty. The naive and innocent Morty has to navigate a deranged universe under the care of his equally deranged grandfather Rick, but the lessons he learns are often shockingly swift and brutal. “Mortynight Run” involves Morty befriending an extra-dimensional fugitive (voiced by none other than Jemaine Clement) after saving him from an assassination attempt, but of course he soon discovers that his new friend might have been imprisoned/targeted for a reason. It’s a fairly predictable storyline, but for a show like Rick and Morty, “predictable” usually means a lot of death, destruction, and another traumatic childhood experience for Morty.
Morty is upset at Rick for selling a special gun to an assassin named Krombopulos Michael in exchange for Fleurbos, a token currency used to play games at an intergalactic arcade called Blips and Chitz. Annoyed at Rick’s indifference towards his unscrupulous activities, Morty decides to take matters into his own hands. After catching up and accidentally killing Kombopulos Michael, he frees a higher-dimensional being that appears as a sentient gaseous cloud. It adopts the name Fart (of course), has a penchant for musical numbers, and is able to communicate with telepathy. At first, it seems that Fart is being wanted/targeted for his ability to rearrange atoms at will (e.g., pooping gold), but the episode eventually reveals a much more diabolical twist. He’s a scout, and when he goes back to his home dimension, he intends on returning to wipe out all carbon-based life. Morty, of course, can’t allow him to do that.
Jerry, meanwhile, doesn’t have a particularly complex storyline, but it’s a hilarious diversion that contrasts Jerry’s benign cowardice against Morty’s courage. After going unnoticed in Rick’s space ship, he’s dropped off at Jerryboree, a Jerry-daycare service that a Rick from another universe started to keep various Jerrys occupied and safe. No Jerry has survived more than five minutes alone out in the universe, so Jerryboree allows all the Ricks and Mortys go on their adventures unimpeded. Jerry’s at first a little peeved and unsettled seeing all the different versions of himself in a facility devoted specifically to keep them out of harm (and Rick’s hair), but he’s quickly distracted by simple amusements such as ball pits and reassuring words from an alien in a Beth costume.
The show’s usual twisted sci-fi and attention to detail really shines here, with Jerrys who have been abandoned and Beth’s new husband from a universe where Jerry’s dead. He leaves the facility to try to make his way back home, but is quickly overwhelmed and retreats back to the safety and comfort of Jerryboree. His story ends with a moment that is both absurd and oddly touching (a common sight for Rick and Morty), where he rejoins the other Jerrys to tackle a more manageable problem: trying to fix the audio on an entertainment system. Of course, there are half a dozen entertainment systems in a circle, each with a handful of Jerrys working to solve the problem(s).
The universe is a complicated, scary place for someone as kind and innocent as Morty, and the show wastes no time in subjecting him to some of the worst that the universe has to offer. Rick and Morty show skews incredibly dark most of the time, punctuated only occasionally with small victories and touching moments. “Mortynight Run” doesn’t offer much as far as happy endings, but succeeds on the creativity and hilarity of its deranged, lovingly-crafted world.
I have such a soft spot for sad sack comedy, and as far as I’m concerned, Jerry’s quickly catching up to the undisputed champion, Parks and Recreation’s Garry “Jerry/Larry/Terry” Gergich.
This episode included a bunch of throwback references, including Gazorpazorp, Mr. Meseeks, and Gearhead.
The form Rick fills out at Jerryboree has a list of reasons for drop off: earth under siege, threatened to tell Beth, unwanted stowaway, annoying me (Rick checks the last two).
At Blips and Chitz, Rick and Morty try their hand at Roy, a game that simulates an entire human life of a person named Roy.
Rick has some fun and inventive uses for portals this episode, using one to slice a bug in half, and then another set of portals to flood the room and then flush it out, bad guys and all.
“Two things I wanna make clear to everyone in this room. Never betray me, and it’s time to go.”
MR. ROBOT Season 1, Episode 6: “eps1.5br4ve-trave1er.asf”
GRADE: A-
“eps1.5br4ve-trave1er.asf” revisits Fernando Vera, Shayla’s former drug supplier who was tossed into prison after Elliot turned him in for Shayla’s rape in the first episode. Last week, Vera put two and two together and figured out that Elliot was the anonymous narc that put him behind bars. He’s not mad. He admires Elliot because Elliot has power — and he wants it. That’s why he arranges for his men in the outside world to kidnap Shayla and presents Elliot with an ultimatum: he has until midnight to free Fernando from prison using his hacking skills — or Shayla’s dead.
For the past half dozen episodes, we’ve seen Elliot get into trouble and find his way out with ease while smugly and coldly reminding everyone watching that he can correct injustices with a few keystrokes and mouse clicks. The situation with Vera should be a walk in the park for him. Except it isn’t. Here, we find Elliot stripped of any control he thought he had. The safe little bubble he mocked the average citizen for hiding inside of has been burst. And, worse yet, nothing Elliot could have done in the past would have led to a different outcome.
If only Elliot could see it.
At the beginning of the episode, Shayla and Elliot have breakfast together — but neither one can bring themselves to touch their meals. This isn’t a date. Far from it. This one-on-one is a privilege, a visit not dissimilar to one we witness later on between Elliot and Fernando in prison. Vera’s men watch Shayla as Elliot apologizes to her, tells her he’ll fix it, tells her he’d do everything differently if he could just go back in time — but Shayla’s already accepted her fate. She can see the writing on the wall and she’s at peace with it. Mr. Robot is a little less delicate with the inevitable, declaring the situation a “zero sum game” since Shayla was toast when she started working with Fernando. Mr. Robot pleads with Elliot to let Shayla “become a memory” — but Elliot is blind to this — and that’s unfortunate.
Elliot becomes the blind man leading the blind.
Angela visits him, interlocking her supporting story with Elliot’s. She declares that she’s got an idea that might “change the world” — and then immediately begins doubting herself, saying her idea is completely stupid. Elliot hears her out despite the fact that he’s running out of time. So he smiles and nods with her story. “Tell her what she wants to hear,” he says in his voiceover. So he does. He believes that she should trust her instincts and believe in herself.
It gets even worse when Fernando’s younger brother attempts to murder Elliot in cold blood. Turns out his brother doesn’t want Fernando out of prison because Fernando will murder him. Elliot calmly explains that Isaac’s days are numbered. If he murders Elliot, he’s only prolonging his own death. If Elliot springs Fernando, he’ll get the chance to fight for his life. Isaac listens to Elliot and lowers the gun. In this moment, we all believe that Elliot has regained the upper hand and that he may be the victor in a previously-thought-to-be-unwinnable situation.
And that’s why, despite all this lead-up, it’s beyond crushing when Shayla turns up dead anyhow, in one of the most visceral and real moments on this show. And it destroys us even more when we realize that shes not only dead…she’s been dead for hours. Her throat cut and her body stuffed in the trunk of the car Vera’s men used to drive Elliot around. You’d think, at that point, the show would grant mercy on the viewer.
But it doesn’t.
The entire scene is in one take. The trunk opens, Elliot realizes what he’s seeing and he says nothing. The shock sets in as he searches his brain for answers — and can find none. The realization that he was wrong and that Mr. Robot was right all along…the realization that Fernando is a stone cold psychotic with a warped sense of honor and that Shayla’s untimely death was foreshadowed the moment he killed his brother, Isaac, after just ten seconds of freedom…all of the hurt and anguish just culminates until we get the final shot of Shayla’s dead eyes…the entire package, from start to finish, is nothing but a giant box of intense pain. You feel it.
The entire situation is a dark parable, a lesson Elliot needed to learn. For all his talk, Elliot is more human than he thinks. He can be hurt. There are people he loves and those who care for him. He is as connected to the system than he thinks, blanketing himself in its warmth. It’s sadly ironic.
When the “Mr. Robot” started, the exact words at the end of my review were, “The cast and crew has crafted a nice indictment on the wealth gap and I’m very much interested in seeing where it goes — even though I’m sure it won’t come close to topping the promise shown in the pilot.”
I am more than happy to admit how wrong I am about this show. Yes, the opening episode feels a bit like an experimental student short film with a budget, but it has managed to completely evolve into one of the most stylish, most sophisticated shows on television.
If I had one gripe about this episode, it’s that the main story was so strong, it drowned out Tyrell Wellick’s bid for the CTO position at Evil Corp, a minor — yet, effective — moment on the show where we learn that the CTO’s wife told her husband all about Tyrell’s creepy bathroom visit. Scott doesn’t care. He just uses it against Tyrell, deeming him a failure. He taunts him about “getting off on watching people urinate” and even unzips his pants, hanging out in front of Elliot. Like Elliot, Tyrell is asked to accept a very hard truth: he will never be CTO and there’s nothing that Tyrell can do about it. The whole scene is brilliantly executed and is the very literal picture of two alphas comparing penis size to find out who “the bigger man” is. The contest is capped off brilliantly when Scott points out that the watch he’s wearing would “pay off the mortgage” on his two-bedroom apartment, causing Tyrell to shrink and retreat. Normally, we’d remain fairly stone-faced through these moments on the show but, this week, it serves as a moment of levity and dark comic relief.
This episode is the best of the series’ run.
It may also very well be the one that will make several viewers ask their friends and family if they’re watching this show.
During E3, The Coalition did something unexpected by giving us an in-game demo of Gears of War 4. Many were merely expecting a brief trailer with a logo, but instead we got something dark, brooding, and mysterious. While the footage came off as exciting, many fans were confused. Who are these new characters and where is Marcus?
In an interview with the gaming website IGN, Rod Fergusson of The Coalition gave us more information on their vision for the future of the series. “We always thought of it as a tease. People expected a flash of logo and a Marcus poem, and we wanted to overshoot that. Why not do a tease that speaks to the mood and the tone of the game?”
Rod and his team really wanted to get back to the roots of the series. He goes on to say, “We’re going back to something personal, intimate, dark, and mysterious, being afraid of the boogeyman.” He felt that the Gears series started as a “monster game”, but by Gears 3, a lot of the horror elements had subsided. “You’ve got a war game. The Locust is an enemy army you know how to defeat, Wretches aren’t scary anymore”.
So what about Marcus and his team? Why would they choose to focus on new characters instead? It all goes back to the desired horror feel for the game. “You look at someone in, say, their mid-20s, they have a lot to be developed. There’s a greater opportunity. The impact of the game on the character can be greater.”
This will also greatly impact the games story. The folks over at The Coalition want to update the story telling for a modern audience. He emphasizes this by saying, “The stories have changed a lot from 10 years ago. Back in the day people expected stories to be black and white, there’s good and bad. Today, people want a lot of grey, a lot moral ambiguity, things that are open to interpretation about what’s right and wrong.”
The Coalition is making changes to a much loved series, so some fans may be worried. Rod told fans that they will “show respect” to the groundwork that’s already been laid. “We’re going to treat it properly. Then we can talk about greater innovations.” Hopefully all of this change means great things are coming for this series.
On a side note, it was announced today that those who purchase the new Gears of War Remaster, and play it online before the end of the year, will receive all previous games in the series for free once they become backwards compatible. While this isn’t the complete series remaster like the Halo Master Chief Collection, its still awesome that everyone can experience the whole series on their new Xbox One consoles.
Are you excited that Gears of War is going back to its horror roots? Or are you worried for the new direction of the series? Let us know in the comments down below!
Emma, if you will remember, is this series’ protagonist, the “Sydney Prescott” if you please.
Emma has a video out now. It shows her having sex with her boyfriend, Will, who wants her back. This show is so vaporous, I had to think hard to remember if they were ever together. They were. The video proves it. Everyone in school knows about the video. That’s why it’s a good time for Seth, The Hot Teacher, to teach his students about The Scarlet Letter because plot relevance!
“The birth of Hester Prynne’s illegitimate child led to her being outed and cyber-bullied, Puritan-style,” he explains to the class. This occurs while a text message circulates around the classroom with another clip from Emma’s sex tape.
“Just takes nine months instead of nine seconds,” Kieran says.
Even by modernization standards, this is reaching. It’s also not a “theme” unless you want to count Ghost McMeltyFace calling her on the phone to point out how much of a “whore” she is. Emma is pissed off that her class is giggling over the exposure of the video of her having sex — but uses her anger and frustration to plug Riley’s vigil instead of lashing out. And Ghost McMeltyFace follows her there, too — in full fucking wardrobe. Jesus, even professional wrestlers aren’t this dedicated to their characters.
Kieran is back, though! Where was he? He was dealing with insurance companies over the death of his Mom, which is a good thing since, as a student, he’d have no say in that. But, fuck it. Will’s father is required to legally fill out FAFSA forms in this dimension, so here we are. Anyhow, Kieran’s on Schmoooove Overdrive with Emma. Together, they share this little moment:
Emma: “You saw the video?”
Kieran: “Nope. Not interested.”
Emma: “You didn’t watch it?!”
Kieran: “No…I like the anticipation.”
Between Kieran’s perpetual, yet confident boner, Emma’s fatigued performance and the disappointment in her voice, I don’t buy that she’s even remotely upset about this video.
Meanwhile, Brooke is losing her shit. Her Mom’s in rehab, her Dad tells her. But because we’re PG-13 on this show, the booze habit has been replaced by copious amounts of coffee. “WHAT PART OF SKINNY ICED COFFEE MACCHIATO DON’T YOU UNDERSTAND???” she screams at the barista at the coffee counter. ACTING! It turns out that Brooke knows a little something about that sex tape: it was part of a jock bet that he couldn’t get Emma into bed. The video was evidence. “I CAN’T KEEP LYING TO EMMA!” she yells in front of everyone in the CROWDED COFFEE SHOP BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT SHE DOES NOW. Hell, Emma’s there and she hears it. So, it’s time for an apology to Emma for that little misunderstanding.
Jake was in on it. When is he not? He’s the one trying to blackmail her father, the mayor of Lakewood. He even breaks her Dad’s nose during a little blackmail meet at an abandoned warehouse. He has more secrets to spill to Brooke — and lets her in on the whole illicit video ring. The problem? He lies and says it’s Will’s fault. Plus, “Will” has some video of her Dad doing “very bad things”, which prompts Brooke to upload security footage from her home (from her phone which totally has the capacity for hundreds of hours of HD security footage). Brooke finds out that her Dad dragged a body from the trunk of his car the other night when she wasn’t around. Could it be her Mom?
But enough of that. Emma dumps Will (again) in the most over-dramatic fashion, slapping him in the face and yelling at him like Brooke yells at Baristas across Lakewood. Will can only empathize with her and, to his credit, says that she has every right to be upset, to which Emma yells, “I DIDN’T ASK FOR YOUR PERMISSION!” I guess. Actually, was Will giving his permission to Emma to be upset? It doesn’t matter. Emma’s on a roll with another gem. “You sound like a bad romantic comedy,” she says. “Except, we didn’t meet cute, we met sick-twisted!“.
It just gets worse from there. Will, angry at Jake already for the confrontation with Brooke’s dad, confronts Jake over revealing the truth to Emma. Jake cracks his trademark smirk and says, “If you wanna have a full-on psychotic meltdown, why don’t you take it home to the chickens and the cows?” I don’t usually zero in on dialogue like this because I usually find it to be nit-picky…but who green-lit this script?
Even the cast’s n00b, “Detective Lorraine Brock” (Sophina Brown), isn’t immune to the bad dialogue. Coming into Lakewood as a bit of a substitute for Sheriff Hudson, she’s there to “get this case solved quickly” per the orders of the state Governor. Also, she used to have a thing for “Hud” (the pet name she calls him) back in the day. One can only wonder what the assignment was like here: “We need this case solved QUICKLY, Brock. We know you guys were fucking at some point. That’s totally cool, though, and not a conflict of interest. Get going.”
She attends the Riley vigil, only to feed Hudson this line:
“Quite the Twin Peaks you’ve settled into, Hud.”
This episode, this show, these characters…they ALL wish this was Twin Peaks. It’s NOT Twin Peaks. It’s NOT Game of Thrones or any other show it just casually references to try and stay hip. This is a watered-down version of a dead horror franchise on cable’s worst channel.
And we’re not even finished yet.
After taking “self defense in P.E.” (the equivalent of one semester of Photoshop Boot Camp in night school), Emma’s ready to kick Ghost McMeltyFace’s ass. She even tells him that when he calls her on the phone. She’s hardened, trusts nobody, ain’t taking no man’s shit no mo’ and she’s gonna choose wisely. Until she makes out with Kieran against a wall, lets him drag her into a dark meadow in the middle of the night, and then sits there like an ass as he pulls a gun out of his jacket and says creepy things to her like, “The killer could be watching us…he could be behind a tree or in the back of my truck right now.”
This is all Spanish Fly to Emma and it’s sexy time! She and Kieran strip down and screw right there, mid-meadow. The hardened, take-no-guff, screw-men-and-their-sex-tapes Emma who the video meme declared was the “fastest girl in Lakewood” is, in reality, the most gullible sap this side of Lakewood. And she’s not the only one: her Mom and “Hud” finally get down in the kitchen. So…yay? The Family Duvall gets some? Anyone care?
Gone is the emotional good will from the third episode as is the anticipation (I don’t care what Kieran says) and the expectations that one might be entertained by any of what is put on screen. This show just does things for the sake of doing things. There isn’t anyone to care about anymore, except the Killer who could slaughter each and every character on the show at this point and I wouldn’t care.
Folks…I shouldn’t be hoping that it goes that way. But, at this point, Scream’s more interested in plugging songs on its soundtrack and showcasing teen heartthrobs rather than giving us a coherent plot or believable characters.
Total Divas Season 4, Episode 4 – “Divas on Overdrive” Air Date – July 21, 2015
(By Danielle Stolman w/ Matt Perrii)
When we last left Total Divas, they had just returned from pseudo-San Francisco after experiencing WrestleMania 31. Brie and Daniel Bryan learned that it was possible for them to have kids because Brie is fertile despite Brie Mode and Bryan has more semen than a Russian submarine. Nikki and Eva Marie hate each other because Eva is not in Florida. Natalie and her father, Jim, are kinda-not-really at odds and Jim’s still on Cocaine after all these years.
How does this week turn out? Let’s go…
PHOENIX, AZ Nikki’s staying with Brie and Bryan for a few days since John’s out of town and his gigantic castle is too scary to stay in by herself. Nikki says that her and Brie date “totally intelligent men”, so, like…it sucks. She says that she learned a new word the other day: “Abscond”, which Nikki pronounces, “Uh-scon”. Nikki isn’t smart. She says she isn’t smart. (MATT: Off to a GREAT start this week!) Daniel Bryan asks her for the answer to “16+8”. “28,” she says. Bryan asks her to add 17 and 13. “20,” she says. Daniel Bryan teaches her basic math. Hilarity ensues.
Titles.
We get the following graphic:
YOU’RE FAMILY I CAN LOVE YOU AND STILL DISLIKE YOU — Daniel Bryan (MATT: Ohhhh…I like where this is going…)
AUSTIN, TX
Cenote (Coffee House) Paige and Alicia Fox yack outside about Paige moving into Fox’s place. Fox says she might invite her new boyfriend, Kevin, over to have a “sleepover”. In a voiceover, she reveals that she’s dating Kevin Skaff, the lead guitarist from A Day to Remember. Fox doesn’t want her having sex in the house. Fox does say, however, that “guitarists are good with their fingers” Then they do goofy, wiggly shit with their fingers, while slurring like Keith Richards. (MATT: All right…what’s in coffee cups, girls?)
PHOENIX, AZ
Vig (Restaurant) Nikki points out a little kid running around the restaurant and she thinks he’s “cute”. She asks Brie if she wants a kid. She says she does. Bryan says he wouldn’t be opposed to kids right now. Nikki whines about being “left in the dust” (MATT: …and the producers continue to sit a stool down next to this premise so they can milk it to death…) and says she’ll never be married or have a kid. Bryan just shrugs and says she’ll be by herself. Nikki says that when she hits John with a guilt trip, they always take expensive trips and what not. Byran says Nikki’s too selfish for a kid. Nikki gives him double middle fingers. Nikki tells the camera that Bryan “loves to tease her”. Bryan toasts to Nikki “never having babies”. Nikki says that there are times when Bryan doesn’t know when to quit — and we get the following clips:
Bryan saying that Nikki looks bloated
Bryan looking at Nikki in a short skirt and boots. Brie says Nikki looks like she’s “going clubbing” while Bryan says she’s “going to the corner”.
Bryan excuses himself from the table. Nikki says that Bryan feels bad for her. Bryan calls her a “failure”. Nikki plays the “no, you” game and then says she feels like a “third wheel”. (MATT: Once again — that’s not how you say it…)
TAMPA, FL Nattie & Tyson’s house Nattie loves cats. We all know that. She explains that she is friends with a local cat shelter called “Rebels Rescue” and that the shelter just happened to dump their entire cat population on Nattie. Nattie says that this is a cause she cares about. Sandy from RR comes over to dump all the cats on Nattie, who tells Sandy that they’re going to put the cats in the covered patio with a pool. (MATT: Where she’ll dress them in bikinis and serve them tiki drinks.) Nattie counts the cats. There are 18 cats. Tyson asks Nattie what they’re gonna do with 18 cats.Tyson’s not happy about this. Nattie says they have “already committed” to doing this. (MATT: What’s the over/under on how long it takes for Tyson to storm out of the house this week?) Nattie tells the camera that Tyson is “going to have to put up with stuff like this” if he wants to be married to her. (MATT: Whoa! Those were my ex-wife’s wedding vows!) A cat escapes from Nattie’s cat-hell and demands to know how. Tyson discovers a tear in the screen walls surrounding the pen. (MATT: And Tyson immediately begins planning his own escape…)
LOS ANGELES, CA
Self Help Fest 2015 Paige hangs with her boyfriend. They rock out, they take pics with fans and Paige suggests they’re the “Brangelina of the music world”. She runs into two frumpy-looking twin girls and Paige calls them “Brie and Nikki”. (MATT: And, if they had never met Daniel Bryan and John Cena, they might actually look like those girls.) Paige says that him and Kevin click because they’re opposites. One of the stage staff drives them to a meet and greet in a golf cart and Paige prefers to get on the roof to “Whitesnake”, rubbing herself seductively and kicking her legs up in the air. (MATT: They should hire her to do burlesque at senior living communities.) Paige meets her friend, Bing, your prototypical hipster douche with the thick rim glasses and a neckbeard. Paige wants to chop his chest like the Big Show does. Bing lets her do it because it’s the only way Bing can ever get a woman to touch him.
TAMPA, FL
Nattie & Tyson’s house Meanwhile, the Missing Cat Crisis lurches forward, so Nattie does what any responsible pet owner would do: she calls her parents over to the house and freaks out. (MATT: Best line from her Mom – “Can’t you find another one that looks just like it and replace it so nobody knows?”) Suddenly, they have “19 cats” instead of “18”, but who’s counting, right? Jim says the “cat is gone” and says that they live near a swamp with “real snakes and gators”. They all stand there as Nattie’s Mom asks what Nattie’s gonna do. (MATT: This was such an awesome plan.) Nattie says that her and Tyson are going to Europe so, good luck, Mom and Dad! The Anvil plays with a cat and it tries to bat at his hand. Anvil’s stuck and doesn’t know what to do.
PHOENIX, AZ
Brie and Daniel’s House Nikki’s just out of the shower and–. (MATT: WHOA. WHAT? WHAT’D I MISS?! DID SHE TWIRL YET?!) Sit down. Nikki can’t find her clothes. (MATT: Yeah…go on…) She asks Brie where they went. Brie tells her that they’re hanging in the shed in the yard. Nikki wants to know what they’re doing there and, lo and behold, we get exposition like we’re watching a movie by Christopher Nolan: Daniel, pissed about their clothes being pushed to the back of the closet, elects to move her clothes to the shed. Nikki, with perfect hair and make-up, ventures outside to the shed barefoot in just a bath towel. She whines about how each thread of each shirt costs more than a Ferrari. Nikki’s shocked (shocked!) that Bryan would do such a thing. She’s even more shocked when she finds her Louis Vitton shoes carefully packed in their red velvet bags and placed neatly on top of the Tupperware container full of Christmas decorations. The Bellas trek back inside, clothes in arms (MATT: Shouldn’t they be carrying them by the hangers so they don’t WRINKLE?!)
DENVER, CO for WWE Main Event
Backstage Paige and Kevin are hanging out in the Catering room and Paige tells the camera she has big news, which we get with another flashback: (MATT: Kevin was Bane the entire time.) No…Paige is moving in with Kevin. It’s gonna be weird when Alicia shows up — oh, there she is. Naomi’s with her. They joke and take pics with one another. Paige has NO idea how to tell Fox that she’s NOT moving in with her — so she just blurts it out and runs away. Fox chases her. (MATT: And all we’re missing is the Benny Hill music.) When we come back, Paige drops the bomb on Fox. Fox calls him a “scratch and sniff boyfriend” because he just got into Paige’s life right after her old boyfriend left her. Fox leaves and says she can’t stop Paige. Anyhow, nothing happens. Naomi asks if she’s ok. Fox says she’s fine and says she isn’t a fan of roommates anyhow.
Make-up Room Nikki’s getting her make-up done. Bryan’s getting his beard trimmed. Nikki’s pissed that Bryan moved her stuff. Bryan doesn’t care. Nikki says she “took five inches”. (MATT: Man, John’s not very big…) OF CLOSET SPACE! (MATT: Oh…) Daniel asks her if she knows “what five inches is”. Nikki smiles and nods. Bryan tells her to show him. (MATT: *Chuckles, giggles*) She does. Bryan: “You’re full of crap.” Shit gets real. Bryan calls her self-serving and materialistic. Nikki denies this. She says she “helps animals”. Bryan tells her she can lie all she wants, all she does is buy and consume expensive stuff she doesn’t need like leather jackets and Louis Vitton shoes and the like. Brie stands there, grinning at her sister. Bryan: “She’s the worst.” Nikki says Bryan “makes her upset”. Bryan and Brie leave the room before “Bryan’s head explodes”.
Backstage Naomi and Alicia Fox are ready to get their match started — except that Fox is eyeballing Wade Barrett — and she’s still upset with Paige.
Ringside Naomi beats Fox in their match.
JACKSONVILLE, FL
Alicia’s New House Paige didn’t bring a gift for Fox’s Housewarming Party. Fox (MATT: Who’s either already hit the sauce, I think…it’s hard to tell with her…she acts like a drunken mess no matter what time of day they film her…) gives a drunken speech about Paige and how she was supposed to move in with her. Paige fake smiles and gives Fox a look like, “Where the fuck are you going with this?” Fox “honors” Kevin for taking Paige away and letting her have the place to herself. Kevin looks uncomfortable while Paige winces. Kevin compliments Fox on the deer head on her wall and says that he heard Fox killed the deer herself. Fox says she didn’t kill it but “dated it once”. (MATT: Still not sure if she’s drunk, to be honest…hang on…) Fox starts talking about Paige’s old boyfriend, Bradley, and basically says they’re the same person. We get a side-by-side pic of the two of them and, yeah, they look the same. Paige and Kevin aren’t having it. Paige gets up and drags Kevin into the kitchen, apologizing to Kevin and telling him that Fox is drunk off her ass.
PROVIDENCE, RI for WWE Main Event
Ringside Fox pummels Brie inside a ring.
Backstage Nattie runs into Big Show backstage. (MATT: And immediately jobs to him and Kane.) She says Show looks skinny. Show says he’s losing weight but always turns around and finds it again. Tyson hangs backstage as well. Nattie tells them that Titus, Heath Slater and Adam Rose wanna ride with them to the next city tonight. (MATT: Is the missing cat at the club?! Am I crazy here? Wasn’t that Nattie’s plot for the week?) Tyson says no. Nattie says she can’t say no. Adam Rose shows up for some face time and thanks Tyson for the ride tonight, then leaves. Tyson ok’s it and says she’s doing the driving.
Paige, Jimmy Uso, Naomi, Alicia Fox and Emma all get into the arena’s service elevator while Titus barks about a “field trip”.
Parking Garage Brie and Nikki load up their car and they’re bitching at one another.
Titus and Tyson argue about who put what bag in the back of their car.
Tyson/Nattie’s Car Titus wants to know what he smells. Heath says it’s his breath. Titus: “No, that’s yo’ ass.” Titus farts. Rose is not happy. Tyson and Nattie are disgusted.
Jimmy Uso and Naomi’s Car They get cute. Naomi says she loves him to the moon. Jimmy: “I love you until the stop sign.”
The Bellas Car More bitching.
Uso Car More cute.
Paige/Fox/Emma Car Fox is drunk and nothing makes sense.
Team Tyson Car Nattie wants to play “Would You Rather”. Nattie: “Would you rather have a child with Layla…or…would you rather…uh…? Giant pause here. (MATT: OMFG STOP.) Rose: “Maybe you should prep your questions before you ask them…” Tyson facepalms while driving. Titus wants to know when everyone lost their virginity. Slater says he was 11. Slater wants to know about Tyson. Tyson says he was a “late bloomer”. Nattie IMMEDIATELY gets involved, saying this doesn’t need to be discussed. Titus fills in the blanks and wants to know if Nattie was his first. Tyson confirms it. Nattie’s embarrassed. Tyson gets crude and starts clapping his hands, yelling “WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!”
Uso Car O.
Paige Car M.
Bella Car G. I’m getting sick of the cuts. Nikki whines about Bryan some more. Brie defends Bryan and tells Nikki that if she sold all of her shit, she could probably buy a house. Nikki: “I have a home.” (MATT: Somebody please tell me again how Nikki would survive without Cena. Because, really, this episode completely disproves the notion that she could.)
Uso Car More shit about the moon.
Tyson Car Titus farts. Again.
Paige Car Fox criticizes Paige for “bringing men around” in great numbers. Paige lets Fox have it for the party bullshit. Emma’s reaction? “Huh.” Fox, once again, reminds Paige of Kevin’s similarities to Bradley. Paige tells her to back off and then calls Naomi to tell her that she’s getting out of Fox’s car so she can ride with them. Naomi agrees. Fox pulls up at a gas station. Paige screams at Fox. Fox…kinda…yells or something. Emma tells them not to fight.
Gas Station Emma looks cold, tired and scared. (MATT: She looks that way all the time. It’s like Fox being perpetually drunk.) Paige and Fox yell at each other and sound like they’re ready to tear each other’s heads off — and Jimmy Uso grins while videoing the whole thing with his phone. Paige leaves with Jimmy and Naomi. Emma leaves with Fox. (MATT: I’d point out how Emma and Fox being compatible makes no sense but we’re past that point with this episode.)
Uso Car Paige explains what Fox has been up to. Naomi points out that Fox isn’t pissed about the guys in Paige’s life. She’s pissed because Paige changed her mind about the move.
Gas Station Everyone stops for snacks. Nattie apologizes to Tyson for making him ride with everyone. (MATT: “It’s ok,” he tells her. “I know you’re upset about the missing cat.” Just kidding. That never happened.)
Bella Car More whining. Brie calls Bryan. This is the actual conversation:
BRIE: She threw away your brain teaser game.
BRYAN: Why?
NIKKI: It was making a mess…
BRYAN: “Making a mess”?
NIKKI: Yeah…it was, like, all over the place.
BRYAN: That’s why you’re supposed to put it back together… NIKKI: Well, I couldn’t because I couldn’t figure it out, so I threw it away…
BRYAN: That’s not the Brain Teaser’s fault…
(MATT: This is the longest fucking episode of this show I’ve ever seen.)
Bryan says he doesn’t hate Nikki. He says he can love Nikki but still dislike her. Nikki says she doesn’t like the jokes. Then she pouts. Brie tells Bryan to apologize to Queen Nikki. Bryan says he loves Nikki and agrees to quit making fun of her if it helps. Queen Nikki puts her nose back up. (MATT: Only Queen Nikki is allowed to make fun of people.)
Tyson Car Heath tells everyone that his friend “owns a place” and that they should all stop there to eat. They all reluctantly agree. They arrive at a place called “Cover Girls” whose marquee advertises strippers — but, also $2 Dollar Steaks on Wednesdays, so Heath was technically telling the truth! (MATT: Sounds legit to me!)
Cover Girls (Strip Club)
(MATT: Great. Blurred boob for the next five minutes. If I wanted to see censored body parts, I could have looked up some imported hentai. At least we’re out of the car, I guess.) Titus announces that Nattie’s in the house. Tyson isn’t digging any of this. He leaves. Nattie follows him. (MATT: Anyone collect on his walk-out?) Nattie goes back in and confronts Heath Slater about his the whole “restaurant” idea. She says Slater was dishonest. Slater goes technical and tells her that he said, “they were going to eat at his buddy’s” and “this is buddy’s!” Rose and Titus and Slater all shout “Buddy” at her. Nattie smiles. Tyson sits alone in the car. Titus picks Nattie up and puts her up on stage. Nattie learns how to pole dance. Nattie hugs the strippers and thanks them for their time. Nattie and crew leaves.
Tyson’s Car Nattie apologizes to Tyson and says, “I’ll make it up to you later.” The guys in the car all howl in approval.
Uso Car
(MATT: We’re doing this again?) Paige talks about her boyfriend.
Fox Car Fox: “I hope we get there before I fall asleep at the wheel…”
Emma (suddenly looking up from her phone, frightened) “Uh…yeah! Me too!”
Fox: “Just kidding!”
Bella Car Brie tells her sister that she doesn’t think it’s fair that Bryan should have to change to suit Nikki. She says that Nikki’s made this into a huge issue. Brie recalls the time when Nikki didn’t have a valentine and Bryan didn’t want her to feel left out, so he went out of his way to buy her flowers and they got there before Brie’s did. Nikki smiles and her eyes light up. (MATT: Not bad for a little threesome leverage…) Nikki suddenly tells the camera that Bryan’s cool by teasing her.
INDIANAPOLIS, IN
Hilton Garden Inn Fox, Paige and Emma go to check in. Emma says they’re all one big happy family and smiles weakly. Then she looks at Paige and asks if what she’s saying is true. Paige just glares. Fox tells Emma that Paige needs a nap because she’s acting like a kid. Paige: “I have a boyfriend, though…one that I’m moving IN with…” Fox tells the camera that she doesn’t need a “bootleg boyfriend”. Fox continues taunting Paige, who just stares at her.
Nattie and Tyson’s Hotel Room Nattie’s mom calls. One of the cats threw up on the porch. Tyson says she has a hell of a vocabulary but, somehow, the word “NO” isn’t one of the words she knows. Tyson says the shelter called and wanted to leave her with 20 cats. (MATT: 20 GODDAMN CATS?! It was 18 at the beginning of the show and 19 five minutes later! What are they, Gremlins?!) Somehow, Nattie let them walk all over her. Nattie says she hates saying “no”. Tyson says every single time she just says “yes”, it affects both of them. Nattie pouts and then asks where Cesaro is because she wants to “make out with him”. Tyson laughs.
WWE LIVE EVENT
Backstage Nattie tells Titus, Rose and Slater to keep what was said last night to themselves. They ask what happened between her and Tyson. She says, “no” and walks away.
Breakroom Fox is still pissed off. Naomi says they were both wrong. She tells Fox that they need to make up and that Fox can begin her side of things by respecting Paige’s boundaries and not hounding her about her boyfriend. They both watch what’s happening in the ring and the camera cuts to Barrett watching the match.. (MATT: MATCHCEPTION…) Fox decides to cover the TV with a piece of paper because she can’t stand seeing her ex.
Hallway Fox checks out Barrett. Paige tells Barrett to keep walking. Fox wants to make things better. Fox says she still wants Barrett. Paige tells her not to go back once something is over. Fox says that Paige is like a sisters and sisters fight. They goof off and laugh and everything’s juuuuuust fine.
And, with that, we’re finally done.
(MATT: Did we miss the end scene where they find the missing cat? Was he hiding in one of the arenas? What the fuck?)
HUGS AND PUNCHES
Danielle
My hug goes to…Tyson: Because, seriously, bro. He’s putting up with dominatrix’s, Nattie’s crazy cat lady bullshit, being brought to a strip club…you know, that last one’s not so bad…but, still, he puts up with Nattie. More than usual this week.
My punch goes to…Daniel Bryan: Why would he insult Nikki? He didn’t need to do that.
Matt
My hug goes to…Emma: The lone sane, uncorrupted woman on this show. Also, for looking frightened of Fox without losing her cool exterior.
Annoying cast member of the week…NIKKI TIMES A MILLION: Holy shit. Everything is about how Nikki is a victim. It’s bad enough I put up with her annoying, whiny valley girl tone and listen to her moan about her expensive clothing, this woman has to be the most shallow person on the face of the planet and I, for one, am glad Bryan got some shots at her. She needs to be taken down a peg or 50.
The creator of the Worms series, Team 17, have multiple projects on their plate. Today they have announced the existence of two new games in the Worms franchise, and have acknowledged their collaboration with the creators of Yookla-Laylee, Playtonic Games.
The first game announced is Worms WMD. It will release early 2016 for both PC and Xbox One, and will feature a “brand new look 2D cartoon-inspired worm as well as gorgeous hand drawn landscapes”. This new game in the franchise will allow gamers for the first time to “use exciting new vehicles and enter buildings which add new strategic elements of gameplay to the traditional wormy warfare”.
The second game announced today is Worms 4. This game will release on iOS this August. The game is describe as the “definitive handheld Worms experience”. Worms 4 is designed top to bottom for mobile platforms, as it will focus on “smaller landscapes, smaller teams, and shorter match length, making action-packed battles easily doable whilst on the go”.
As for gameplay, Team17 says, “players will be able to take part in turn-based, synchronous online multiplayer matches played out in real-time, battle their way through 80 single-player missions, collect over a hundred weapon upgrades and duel across 5 different themes”.
The other large announcement for Team17 this week is that they will be handling publishing for Yookla-Laylee from Playtonic Games. According to Team17, this will involve assistance with localization, certification, QA, marketing and other business concerns. Managing Director Debbie Bestwick had this to say about the partnership:
“It is probably more significant than either Team17 or Playtonic fully realize right now. They are friends of ours and we want to help it make sense for everyone. To the industry it’s probably another reason for people to look at what we are doing even closer. We’ve built an exciting, modern games label here that helps creators achieve their goals with a team who understands what it takes to release a game, all the while keeping full control of their studio and IP. We’re building a strong track record for helping indie devs and Playtonic is going to move that reputation to another level. Our goals and targets remain exactly the same as they always were: to help creators bring their games to market”.
We should be learning more about both Worms releases at Gamescom next week, and Yookla-Laylee will be releasing sometime in 2016 on PC, Xbox One, Playstation 4, and WiiU
Are you excited for a new game in the Worms series? Are you surprised about the partnership with Playtonic Games? Let us know in the comments down below!
It’s hard to believe but for almost twenty years now Tom Cruise has been running, jumping, punching, and doing all manner of crazy stunts as IMF agent Ethan Hunt in the five films of the MIssion: Impossible series. Now usually, when a franchise reaches the point of three films or more a sort of malaise sets in that results in a noticeable dip in quality, but somehow, someway the Mission: Impossible series seems to only get better with age and the newest entry – Rogue Nation – is no exception.
Following on the heels of the series’ best film yet, Ghost Protocol, Rogue Nation kicks things off with the U.S. Senate disbanding the storied Impossible Mission Force and leaving Ethan Hunt (Cruise) out in the wind just as he comes one step closer to proving that a nefarious organization known as the Syndicate actually exists.
Forced to go into hiding, Hunt continues his rogue investigation into the Syndicate and reunites with his former teammates Benji (Simon Pegg), Luther (Ving Rhames), and Brandt (Jeremy Renner) all the while being stalked by a CIA Director (Alec Baldwin) determined to bring them down.
And in this journey to prove the Syndicate’s existence Hunt crosses paths with the ultimate femme fatale in the form of Rebecca Ferguson as the mysterious Ilsa Faust who may or may not be a member of the Syndicate herself.
In typical spy movie fashion the story jumps from country to country as the mission takes them from Vienna to Morocco and Great Britain with everything from opera house assassinations, ultra-secure vault break-ins, car chases, motorcycle chases, and shoot-outs propelling the plot forward at a gangbusters pace that will likely leave you breathless.
And it is in these action scenes that the film really stands out. Say what you will about Tom Cruise’s personal life or character, the man is an absolute machine and one of the most consummate professionals in the film business. He prepares for every role as if it were going to be his crowning achievement and is thus able to do seemingly crazy things like hang onto the side of an actually flying plane or hold his breath underwater for a seemingly impossible amount of time. Unlike most actors we actually get to see Cruise’s face as he pulls off these remarkable feats and it makes the movie so much richer and believable for it. I personally found myself gasping and wincing more than I normally would in similar action films and I think a large part of that stems from the tangible reality of what’s on screen instead of the usual rapidly cut, CGI trickery of most films.
But I think what really helps keep these MIssion Impossible films so fresh is the changing of the guard behind the camera for each film. With a new director helming each subsequent film the series they are able to bring a new perspective and flavor to each film in a genre that is always running dangerously close to falling into pure cliche. This time around its Christopher McQuarrie in the writer/director’s seat after successfully directing Cruise in the pulpy and satisfying Jack Reacher. McQuarrie brings a slightly more serious tone to the series after Brad Bird’s sleek, 60s spy-infused Ghost Protocol, but manages to retain the electric fun that made that film so appealing.
Cruise and company all seem to be having a great time together on screen and it is impressive that the relatively unknown Ferguson is able equally shine as the film’s female lead amidst the film’s star-studded male cast. And perhaps because her character’s name is Ilsa and a portion of the film takes place in Casablanca I couldn’t help but be reminded of the great Ingrid Bergman whenever she appeared on screen. High praise, I know. But she earns it and with luck can go on to have a career even a fraction as memorable as Bergman’s.
As we near the end of Summer 2015 and look back on its’ slightly underwhelming slate of superhero and dinosaur sequels, Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation might actually come out on top as the summer’s most satisfying action romp. And although Ethan Hunt will never be as singularly iconic as fellow cinematic spy James Bond, Tom Cruise continues to make him viable as a worthy diversion until 007 is back on the silver screen. And trust me, when the world’s most obsessive Bond fan calls this a worthy substitute, you know they’re doing something right.
It appears that the rumors were true. ZombiU on the WiiU, now rebranded as Zombi, will be making its way to Xbox One, Playstation 4 and PC on August 18. The title will only be released digitally, however, as there are currently no plans for a physical release.
For those unfamiliar with the story of ZombiU, Ubisoft gave us the following description:
“For the second time in history, a great plague has shrouded the city in a fog of death and thousands have died, or worse, have been infected by a sickness more gruesome than death. Once again, this fear-fueled first-person shooter invites all players to dive into the horror, chaos and tension found in the best of the genre. The nail-hitting survival experience has been optimized for Playstation 4, Xbox One and Windows PC, using the power of the latest generation of hardware to bring gamers to a new level of horror”.
In Zombi, you play as a group of survivors in London during a zombie outbreak. The main hook of the game is permanent death. If you happen to die, you will begin the game back at the safe house as a new survivor. You are then tasked with taking down your previous, now zombie, self to retrieve your belongings.
The original ZombiU released with the launch of the WiiU, but did not sell enough to warrant a sequel (though one was rumored to be in the works for years). It still remains one of the most inventive uses of the systems gamepad, allowing you to check your inventory and map in real time while zombies lurk around every corner. This definitely kept the tension of the game high.
It will be interesting to see how Ubisoft handles the transition, since it will lack the second screen gameplay that made the original so unique. Will the game lose that original sense of dread?
On Ubisoft’s blog, the games producer Hélène Henry had this to say: “We knew from the beginning that maintaining the tension and feel of the original was one of the main challenges, as the way ZombiU was presented on Wii U cannot be reproduced. We maintain a minimal HUD as much as possible. It disappears when not required, giving the game a very lonely feeling. If you have surround sound, the awesome sound mix from the original still stands and greatly helps immersion. As much as possible, we’ve tried to keep those key elements.”
The HUD wont be the only change made to the game. Zombi will receive two new weapons as well: The shovel and the nail bat. One major complaint from the first game was the lack of variety in weapons, so its good to see that Ubisoft is listening to its fans.
The functionality of the flashlight is also being upgraded, “… letting players switch to a wider, further-reaching beam at the expense of battery life and a greater risk of attracting zombies. It’ll also have to be kept off for 30 seconds to recharge, forcing players to be even more careful than before about how they use it.”
The only mode not returning in Zombi is the multiplayer mode. “We decided to focus on the solo mode, as we believe this is where the ZombiU experience really lay.” While fun, I don’t think this mode will be missed by many.(*Editor’s Note: Trust me, NO ONE will miss it.) Hopefully this makes for a stronger single player experience.
Did you have the opportunity to play ZombiU on the WiiU? Are you looking forward to changes made? Let us know in the comments down below.
Pretty Little Liars
Season 6, Episode 7: “FrAmed”
Air Date: Tuesday, July 28, 2015
This week’s episode of Pretty Little Liars exemplifies the dichotomy between Spencer and Hanna’s relationship this season, and Emily and Aria’s. While Spencer and Hanna are tracking down leads on Charles, and finding Jason’s doppelganger, Emily and Aria are lying on Aria’s bed talking about prom dresses and dates.
“FrAmed” begins with all of the Liars, plus Ali, at Aria’s house watching the local news announce that Charles DiLaurentis kidnapped the girls and also probably killed his own mother. Ali starts reminiscing about a past birthday party when she was five where she met her brother masquerading as her cousin, and he let her eat his frosting. A kid who offered her frosting could not possibly turn out to be a monster, right? Hanna can’t handle Ali’s pity party and tells her to suck it up because no matter what nice things Charles did at that birthday party, he still kidnapped and tortured them.
Aria and Emily
At The Brew, Mr. Clark Warbler tries to convince Aria to attend the art gallery that will be displaying her photographs. Aria explains that her mom doesn’t think it is safe because of the whole Charles thing, and he begins asking a slew of suspicious questions such as did the girls know Charles would be in the creepy arcade. Since part of Ezra’s job as owner of The Brew is eavesdropping on his customers, he slides next to Aria when Clark leaves saying “You just met the guy, he sure was asking a lot of questions.” Yes Ezra, most people ask questions to learn about others instead of secretly spying on them.
Aria is able to convince her mom to let her attend the event once Det. Tanner assures Ella that Rosewood’s finest will be there to guard her daughter. Later, Aria invites Emily over for a fashion show and while searching for Aria’s skull covered jacket, Emily happens upon a dress Aria has purchased for prom:
Aria: You know that feeling when the perfect dress just speaks to you? Emily: Yeah, I think your wardrobe speaks a lot louder than mine
Aria’s dress spoke to her alright, in parseltongue, which the snake on her current shirt translated for her. Next, Aria asks Emily to the prom, so they can slow dance together, but Emily turns her down, finally admitting to her budding relationship with Sara.
The two lay down on Aria’s bed and discuss the Sara/Emily kiss, and Aria is wearing her boots on her bed. WHO DOES THAT! That is one of my biggest pet peeves, and Aria, I will never forgive you. Aria pouts about having to go to prom all alone, but Emily reminds her that they are no longer living in 1912, women can ask guys to dances now. What a random year to pick, I mean, yes it was before the 19th Amendment was ratified, but that date is still way too far in the past to assume women were free to do what they pleased. It does the trick though, and Aria declares that she is an independent woman, and will go stag to the prom.
This plan seems to evaporate though a mere two hours later, when she asks Ezra to the Rosewood High prom. Doh! Like I said last week, ARIA NEEDS TO STOP TALKING! Apparently Ezra does have lines he won’t cross and attending prom at a school he used to teach with an underage student that he used to date is one of those lines… he says no. Aria is batting 0 for 2 in the prom date department tonight.
Spencer and Hanna
Hanna tells her mom that she doesn’t want to accept the scholarship she received last week because it most likely came from Charles. Ashley can’t understand why Charles would help Hanna pay for school if he is indeed so evil, to which Hanna explains “A gives, so that A can take away.” Man, I feel like I could write an entire recap consisting just of Hanna quotes. The only thing that would make this line better is if Hanna said ‘taketh.’ Ashley is adamant that they will not give up the scholarship money because Hanna deserves college after all the have been through. There are so many niche scholarships out there in the world, there must one for former kidnapped teens that Hanna can apply for right?
Hanna heads over to Spencer’s house to try to devise a plan. They decide to go to the Carasimmi group’s office first hand to return the money which will get them through the front door. When they arrive at Carrasimmi Group, Hanna requests bubbly water from assistant, to make sure the two teens look normal. As the resident high-class liar, she informs Hanna that in a highly respectable office like this, it is called sparkling water. Spencer starts snooping around, picking up a magic-eight ball from a desk and Hanna goes full on paranoid. She is convinced that the mirror hanging on the wall is a two-way glass window and she writes this all down on a notepad for Spencer to read because she is also convinced that the room is bugged and starts crumpling the paper to make the people listening in think that there is static in the room. It is so proactive, and yet so unproductive. It was just so Hanna. As she begins to start a paper ball fight with Spencer, Rhys Mathews, aka Jason’s doppelganger, enters the office.
Hanna tries to return her scholarship money but Rhys denies the request saying that doing so would “kinda undermines the concept of charity.” Um no that doesn’t undermine the concept of charity, it just makes you sound like a self-righteous, privileged doucheface. The girls are unable to obtain any viable information from Rhys, so Hanna finally asks if she could get Mr. Carassimi’s contact information to thank him personally for the scholarship. While Rhys won’t disclose his employers identity, or verify that his employer does indeed have an e-mail address, Hanna uses this opportunity to pull out her phone and take a covert picture of Rhys.
The Art Gallery
When the two arrive at Aria’s art gallery, Hanna is bursting to show the other girls the photo of the Rhys, but Spencer tells Hanna to cool her roll and let Aria have this one night to celebrate her accomplishments without any A drama. As soon as Emily chastises them for being late, it is Spencer who immediately spills the beans. Hanna shows Emily the picture, but because lesbians can’t tell the difference between blonde white guys, she thinks it is just a picture of Jason.
Rhys’s picture isn’t the only photographic surprise of the night. When the finalist’s photos are revealed, everyone in the gallery is aghast to find that Aria’s creepy doll pictures had been replaced with pictures of the Liars lying on cadaver slabs in the dollhouse. The art show comes to a screeching halt, and Rosewood’s finest come to investigate the crime scene. Det. Linda Tanner explains that while A may have pulled this stunt to scare the Liars. She believes that Charles was sending her the message that he can uncover all of her deep dark skeletons, such as Tanner growing up in a bilingual household. Ella could give a fuck about Tanner being targeted and goes into full on Momma Bear mode as she berates the detective for letting Charles pull this shit literally right under her nose.
Ella doesn’t stop there, she heads over to talk to Ashley Marin about the events of the night. Apparently the Rosewood PD did not find it important to notify the liars’ parents that pictures of their kids while drugged and kidnapped were put on public display. Ella and Ashley finally realize that the police are not doing enough to protect their daughters (understatement of the millennium), and they need to take matters into their own hands. Oh man, this may be my new favorite dynamic duo.
After the whole ordeal Ezra comes to sit with Aria and she goes into a long monologue about imagining she was in Iceland while on the cadaver slabs, and how she was so cold, and is still so cold. I don’t know if it is because the speech was ridiculous, or because it was Aria delivering it, but it did nothing for me emotionally. I was half expecting Ezra to cozy up to Aria and say “Well I can warm you up baby.”
Spencer, Emily and Hanna are on their own quest, and follow Rhys’ car, which is parked outside the art gallery, to an abandoned doll factory. They then spot Mr. Warbler heading into the factory a few minutes later.
Other tidbits
I guess I should mention that Ali did some things in this episode too. Ali brings homemade soup to Lorenzo’s apartment to help heal his gun-wounded arm. She offers to stay with him and do his laundry, but as soon as the officer falls asleep, Ali steals his police key card. She heads to the precinct where Det. Tanner catches her snooping. Ali declares “I didn’t touch anything!” while literally holding up an evidence bag containing a baby rattle. I very rarely enjoy Ali, like ever, but man that line just killed me. I love it.
Oh, also Red Coat is back! Remember Red Coat who they first thought was Melissa, and then CeCe Drake, and also A, then she dropped off the face of the earth. She is back and is A’s chauffeur to prom.
Hanna Quote of the Week
Hanna: You know, I’ve always wondered about college credit. Is that when you show up for class and they give you some money back? Because I could really be into that.
Oh Hanna, wouldn’t we all?
Questions
So Hanna has this scholarship, and the girls are graduating in two weeks, but do any of them have college plans?
Maybe I am overthinking this, but shouldn’t the FBI be on the case at this point? There is no Cortland (where Sara is from) in Pennsylvania but there is one in Ohio as well NY. So , unless it is a fictional town (which would be weird, because besides the Rosewood, all locations that the show talks about or goes to actually exist) this would be an interstate crime and could warrant FBI involvement. Also a case like this should have already caught full on national media coverage by now right?
How amazing would it have been if PLL brought back original pre-face transplant Jason actor to play Rhys?
Just over a month ago, I caved and bought an Xbox One. As a lifelong Sony fangirl, it felt like a betrayal, but now that I’ve gotten to know my new friend, I’ve fallen in love. Every month, Xbox Live Gold members get access to two free games on the 1st and 15th. Therefore, as I navigate the ins and outs of being a new XBOX Live member, I will also be reviewing these free Gold games. Heaven help me.
I’ve already made it known that I am the worst platformer gamer. The worst. However, my street cred is grateful that I didn’t do too bad with this month’s Xbox Live Gold game: So Many Me.
Developed by Extend Studio and published by ORiGO Games, So Many Me is the tale of adorable Filo, a green glob on a journey to save the world. And eat. (My kinda character.) In his attempt to do so, he stumbles into an alternate universe where his blobby self has been duplicated into many different “Me’s.” Using his Me’s, Filo must traverse the world and its levels, acquiring different outfits and more Me’s while defeating the big bad guys who take it upon themselves to capture unsuspecting princesses.
It’s a simple tale and there’s nothing exactly innovative about the game. Your Me’s follow you throughout this journey, offering humorous commentary on the world at large (which is what makes it better than the other platformer I reviewed this week–Tembo), and also grant you the ability to turn one or more into platforms, bouncing goo, shining lights, and so on as needed to complete the level. You can also make use of teleporters, caterpillar-esque trains, and computers to get to different locked areas. Finishing levels are easy. Acquiring all of the costumes, gems, and Me’s, however, is another matter.
Like many platformers, So Many Me is a cute game that’s easy to pick up for an hour and then immediately put back down. That being said, I probably would only have played it for that first hour if my kid and his friends didn’t LOVE watching me play it. And I think that’s where this game shines. As an adult with shit to pretend to do, So Many Me is the kind of game I’d usually only play for a few minutes before getting bored because WHERE IS THE INTENSITY, but the smaller, less cynical humans in my life absolutely adore these simple puzzle platformers, chasing after what they deemed the “Mommy Purse” and “Sparkly Pearls.” Figuring out each level was a challenge for them, but exciting and fun and it reminded me of myself as a kid, playing through Mario and looking for every secret area, every hidden 1up and room filled with coins.
I enjoyed playing So Many Me. Compared to many platformers, it was a breath of fresh air, not trying too hard to be anything more than a cheeky puzzle game. Platformer is a genre that usually suffers from too much storytelling and dialogue, but with So Many Me, I felt the character interactions added something more to the game. If you’re looking for a cute game to entertain yourself or the wee folk in your life, So Many Me is a challenging but adorable choice.
8/10
So Many Me was played on the XBOX One but is also available on Windows, Mac, Linux, and Ouya.
Last week, Patrick was eliminated from Tough Enough in one of the more intense moments on the show. The voting was actually pretty close. showing him to be neck and neck with Josh and ZZ. This week sees the remainder of the cast fighting for their lives. We also have a new judge…let’s find out who it is…
We get clips from last week when Patrick was eliminated and Big Show slapped everyone’s chest because reasons. Team B.A.D. is here this week.
And we are LIVE(!) from Full Sail University Arena for Tough Enough!!!
Renee Young dances around while Chris Jericho talks up the “shocking elimination” of Patrick.
Our judges are:
Daniel Bryan
Paige (now sitting center chair)
The Miz (taking over for [REDACTED])
The Miz is happy to be here. Paige tells him to shut up while she talks while Bryan remains as silent as a fucking Sphinx as per usual.
Barracks ZZ makes a peanut butter & jelly sammitch in honor of Patrick. He also pours two shots of milk and puts it next to a photo of Patrick that’s next to his bed. Then he hangs his necklace made of gator teeth on the frame and, already, this is getting weird. (DANIELLE: It’s kinda cute…) Then ZZ does his milk shot and takes a bite of his sammitch and reflects on Patrick, remembering the time when Patrick told ZZ that he was pathetic and that he wasn’t going to “lose to the likes of ZZ”. ZZ: “I’m gonna make you proud, bro. I’m gonna win this.” He starts doing sit-ups, while telling the camera that he’s a hurricane now and that everyone’s gonna need “more than just an umbrella”. Then he poses like Patrick in the picture. The photo, by the way, is of Patrick in tight black slacks, shirtless and oiled down.
ZZ is working hard like Rocky. Chelsea tells him that he’s “doing well” in total monotone. Josh shows up and laughs at him. Tanner thinks he looks silly. ZZ says that he’s going to use Patrick’s elimination as a wake-up call. Mada and Josh cannot believe Patrick’s gone…but, enough about that — Amanda wants to mock Chelsea for how blonde her hair is. (DANIELLE: I hope we get a scene next week where Chelsea memorializes Amanda by bleaching her hair.) Amanda declares herself “the only blonde here”. Chelsea couldn’t look more uninterested in this “fight”.
Orlando Tree Trek Adventure Park The cast enters the park where Booker, Lita and Billy Gunn are waiting. Booker says that this will get tougher. Lita tells them to stay focused. Gunn brings in Cesaro, who flies in on a zip line and, somehow, that fits him. (DANIELLE: I wish he’d uppercut Billy Gunn and take over for him.) Cesaro says each cast member needs to focus on their weaknesses and eliminate them. That’s why focusing is the thing this weak. So focus. Booker outlines the challenge. They all have to run to Cesaro across seven different platforms and memorize the platform numbers which are part of the combination of a safe guarded by Cesaro which contains some bullshit that should keep them all happy. Giorgia is the first one to open the thing after Sara Lee fails. (DANIELLE: That should keep Crikey happy at the BoD, methinks.) ZZ fails, Tanner nearly falls but manages to get into the safe, as does Josh. The entire thing is complicated by the fact that Billy Gunn yells at them on a megaphone. He gets pissed when they don’t respond and tells them that they have to. They still don’t but Gunn couldn’t climb a stool these days, so what’s he gonna do?
YOUR WINNERS:
Tanner wins the whole thing overall getting in the safe with the quickest time.
Chelsea had the fastest time. Gigi was able to crack the safe, however.
Gunn asks the cast to clap for ZZ as he “wasn’t last”. Quite the back-handed compliment. (DANIELLE: Z…Z ROCKS! Z…Z ROCKS! Z…Z ROCKS!) Inside the safe was a copy of Chris Jericho’s book.
Full Sail University Arena Jericho plugs his book. Bryan plugs his book. Renee asks about the support ZZ got. The Miz shrugs in disbelief. Paige thinks it’s stupid. Bryan thinks his Patrick Shrine was weird. Young announces that Team B.A.D. will be here tonight. (DANIELLE: Will they show up with six other Divas?)
Renee goes over the Rules of Elimination and it’s back to…
Barracks Chelsea, wearing the most unsexy bikini ever over her skeletal frame, gets in the hot tub with Tanner. The scene goes like this:
Chelsea: It’s really hot in here.
Tanner: (Stares off into space, looks at her) Hey…
Chelsea (to camera crew): I’m trying to pull something out of Tanner but he’s not responding. I’m trying to pull it out but it’s just not coming yet!
Tanner says he needs to learn promos. So, Chelsea tells him to “do a promo on her bikini”. Tanner sits there and looks at the water. He looks at the bikini. Nothing’s there. (DANIELLE: I don’t know what’s turning me on more: the complete lack of chemistry or the playful, goofy electronic piano music that’s scoring the scene.) After a moment, he says this:
TANNER: So…your bikini top is, uh…ok: so, seein’ you in that bikini today is…probably the best thing I’ve seen here. You’re eatin’ this…this hot tub up yourself.
Chelsea groans. (DANIELLE: Oh, so hot. Suddenly, I miss ZZ removing his swim trunks.)
Gym More focusing! Booker, Lita and Gunn present the next challenge: wrestling with crowd noise. Gunn points to speakers in the ceiling which will be emitting cheers. Josh is just a badass in the ring. ZZ runs over Mada and everyone takes their lumps while Chelsea says the crowd noise is “so loud”. ZZ just isn’t able to do much at all and Mada’s sick of it. Giorgia and Chelsea go at it and Giorgia is too safe with her moves. Lita’s displeased.
YOUR WINNERS:
Josh
Chelsea
Barracks Chelsea and Sara Lee practice their lifts. Amanda interrupts. GiGi follows her lead. Amanda thinks they’ve been doing other stuff besides practicing. Saaaaaay… (DANIELLE: She’s talking about gossiping.) Eh…lemme hope. Amanda listens with her ear against the door. Then she bitches about getting caught doing it. Then it’s more squabbling while Tanner and Josh literally eat popcorn and watch.
That evening, GiGi talks to her Dad on Facetime. He regrets that she’s gone and he says that he’s worried that she won’t be back if she has her shot at fame. He’s proud of her, regardless of the outcome. They both start crying — and this is actually pretty genuine. Giorgia says she came here for this and that this is her dream.
Meanwhile, Mada talks to ZZ about his lack of performance in the ring. He says that ZZ is costing him challenges. ZZ admits that he doesn’t think he can win this thing at all.
Full Sail University Arena Team B.A.D. is here because #DIVASREVOLUTIONALLOFTHESUDDEN. The female competitors all have to take Big Splashes off the top rope from Tamina for no real reason I can think of except that WWE is secretly hoping she blows out what’s left of her knees so she can exit this “revolution”.
Daniel Bryan commends the ladies. Paige wants to know why Amanda was spying. Amanda denies it. Tanner is grilled about Jericho’s book. He’s only read one chapter. (DANIELLE: When you have four women yelling at each other over talking to each other behind closed doors because of blonde hair, he’s lucky to have gotten through the first chapter.)
THE FINAL THREE:
DANIEL BRYAN chooses Amanda: Bryan says she’s just not good. Miz disagrees and says she’s “hot”. Jericho basically tells Miz to shut his fucking mouth and stop talking.
THE MIZ chooses Mada: He lost focus and he’s one-dimensional.
PAIGE chooses ZZ: He’s lazy and “has bigger boobs than she does.”
They each get 30 seconds to appeal:
ZZ: He’s never had a taste of the type of physicality needed for this company. He told Mada what he wanted to hear, but he’s here to win because he’s not about to sacrifice everything just to lose.
AMANDA: She has the “IT” factor. WWE doesn’t want average and she’s far from that. She’s here to prove she has what it takes.
MADA: He wants to headline WrestleMania and he wants to be in the Hall of Fame. He has EVERYTHING WWE wants.
Most of the competitors think that ZZ should go home.
Bryan and Paige want to save nobody. The Miz DOES — and he’s saving…
AMANDA?!
Wow. (DANIELLE: Don’t bother…I’ll say it for you: “Fuck this fucking show…”)
Thanks. Paige is PISSED. SO pissed, she yells in Miz’s face, asking him if he’s kidding, then flat-out calls him an “idiot”. The two bicker and we get a double whammy…
GOING HOME: Mada. And he was a distant second place, too. It wasn’t even close. Amanda had a pathetic 13 percent of the vote.
Paige is still furious. Miz gives her a shrug and Paige yells in his face and yells over Renee Young who tries to interview Mada.
We go off the air with Paige fuming and rolling her eyes as Miz practically eye-fucks his new slam-piece while smirking.
OVERALL: We just watched a dumb blonde bimbo get saved by a horny Miz. In Miz’s own words: Really?! And we watched as the save cost Mada (somebody who, at the very least, has charisma and physicality and presence) his spot on the show. Even more puzzling is that ZZ is still on the show, taking first place in the voting this week despite doing nothing but outright failing at nearly everything. This is the the episode that makes or breaks the series. Personally, I think this episode is the Jump the Shark moment for the series. Just a whole lot of…
Every day this week we will recap each film of the Mission: Impossible franchise, leading up to our review of “Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation”. Your mission (should you choose to accept it) is to sit back and enjoy as we look back at nearly 20 years of the Mission: Impossible film series!
And if you missed any other entries, you can start here:
Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol was the one where they stopped using numbers to title the sequels and instead started using nonsense phrases. After MI:3 righted the ship, they decided to go ahead and make another action movie starring Tom Cruise, which to be fair is a pretty good bet most of the time. This is the one where the IMF is implicated in the bombing of the Kremlin, and Ethan Hunt must make his secret agent status even more of a secret as his entire team is disavowed and branded as terrorists. Get it? Ghost Protocol, because he’s becoming super-secret.
The core team this time is composed the Tom Cruise, Simon Pegg (who finally qualified to be a full agent!), Paula Patton, and Jeremy Renner. Renner was pegged as the heir apparent to the franchise assuming that Tom Cruise would hang up his IMF britches. However, Tom Cruise is Xenu’s vessel on Earth so he doesn’t age.
Ghost Protocol has the typical Macguffin in that a rogue Russian has nuclear launch codes. What makes this movie stand apart are the incredibly different and inventive action set pieces that take us around world. From the opening jailbreak from a Russian gulag to the final scene in Mumbai, this movie wasn’t deep, but the action was very entertaining.
Best Scene:
A lot of people will say that the swap meet at the Burj Khalifa in Dubai was the best, but for me, the best scene was the infiltration of the Kremlin using the active camouflage screen. It was inventive, had just the right amount of tension, and most importantly, had some comedy attached to it. The Russian jailbreak was also pretty memorable, mostly because it was set to Dean Martin’s “Ain’t That a Kick in the Head”, but to each their own.
Best Line:
Benji Dunn: Why am I Pluto? It’s not even a planet anymore.
William Brandt: Well, Uranus is still available.
Benji Dunn: Ha, it’s funny ‘cuz you said anus.
Actual Best Line:
Leonid Lisenker: Thank God
Wistrom: You can think him in person [shoots Leonid]
Personal Recollection:
At the outset of the movie, I was sort of peeved at how Ethan Hunt’s fiancé just up and vanished as if MI:3 never happened. However, I was pleasantly surprised at how Brandt was implicated in the death of Hunt’s fiancé, which led to his being in prison. This was more plot spillover than any other Mission: Impossible had up to that point. It was honestly a great Brad Bird touch that Ethan ends up seeing her alive at the end of the movie, absolving Brandt of guilt, but I was incredibly impressed that they addressed it. The action scenes were pretty much non-stop. There was a lot less of the typical intrigue a spy movie should have, so this was a lot more of straight up action movie than spy thriller. On that front, there were no disappointments. The prison break, the infiltration of the Kremlin, both action scenes in Dubai, and the final parking garage fight in Mumbai were all incredible. Each of them must’ve been incredibly hard to shoot and they’re the reasons why we go see blockbusters in theaters. Also, I’m a huge Brad Bird fan, so it was great to see him direct a big set blockbuster. I’ll give Tomorrowland a pass.
Ways to Use the Phrase “Ghost Protocol” in Real Life:
I initiate “Ghost Protocol” when I turn on my nightlight before I go to sleep
Whenever I wear a hooded sweatshirt and go for a run, I initiate “Ghost Protocol”.
“Ghost Protocol” is what I call Robin Thicke cheating on Paula Patton
When I don’t want to text or call someone ever again. (Ghost Protocol is so much better than ‘ghosting’)
I prefer invoking “Ghost Protocol” than to say I’m using the “Private Browsing” feature on my internet browser.
Since the arrival of the WiiU, one of it’s biggest selling points for the console has been its unique social media destination, Miiverse. It allowed all Nintendo gamers on WiiU, and later PC and 3DS, to share screen shots, make beautiful gaming artwork, and have topical discussions on their favorite Nintendo games.
Miiverse has gone through minor changes since launch, but nothing as major as what’s happened today. Today, Nintendo has completely overhauled Miiverse. Gone are the days of getting lost in a stream of unrelated posts. Nintendo has pulled back the curtain to a new Miiverse, a Miiverse of organization. (*Editor’s Note: Sounds like a super villain planning his takeover of a city) Miiverse has now been split into categories: Journal Entries, Recent Drawings, Discussions and Screenshots.
The Journal feature allows you to track your progress on games as you play them. Now when playing a game, if you open Miiverse , you will automatically take a screenshot to show what was happening in the game at that moment in time (unless the game doesn’t support screenshots). The new Journal actually replaces posting to your activity feed, so that feature is no longer available.
The other sections in Miiverse are somewhat self-explanatory: recent drawings, discussions, and screenshots. It is definitely nice that all posts are properly sorted. While it seems like a minor change, it should greatly help with the clutter that has taken over Miiverse.
The final change to Miiverse is the increase of posts in a given amount of time. You can now post a combined total of 30 posts or comments a day, not including in-game posts. This was very high on the user complaint list, so its nice to see it resolved.
Do you like the new changes made to Miiverse? Or do you fear change? (*Editor’s Note: Again, I’m getting a super villain vibe. We seriously need to have a discussion with James) Let us know in the comments down below!
When Super Smash Bros. was announced for WiiU and 3DS, expectations for the game were high. Nintendo even hosted a special Nintendo Direct announcing features for the game, some of which we still haven’t seen. Since release, Nintendo has added more characters and stages (including this writer’s favorite: Lucas from the Earthbound series), but promised modes have still not been delivered. That will all change on July 31.
The new update will bring minor tweaks to the gameplay, two returning stages with Hyrule Castle and Peach’s Castle from the original Smash Bros. on Nintendo 64, as well as new costumes for Mii Fighters. The costumes include King K. Rool from Donkey Kong Country and Marth from the Fire Emblem series. The big attraction, however, comes with two new features: Tourney Mode and YouTube uploads.
Tourney mode has long been sought after in the world of Smash. Many fans have made their own makeshift tournaments with their friends over the years, but this official mode adds a professional sheen to it all and brings it online.
Tournament mode will be split into two distinct groups: Community Tourneys and Regular Tourneys. Community Tourneys allow players to complete for the highest score in a set amount of time. Regular Tourneys, on the other hand, have strict rules and only happen at certain times. I will definitely need to brush up on my Smash skills before hopping into either of these competitive modes!
The YouTube upload feature will be very similar to Mario Kart 8. You will be able to upload your favorite matches straight to your YouTube account. You will need a Google account and register it with Smash to make this work. Nintendo has not said what kind of resolution the footage will be uploaded in, but if it’s anything like the aforementioned Mario 8, the quality may not be the greatest. It’s still nice, however, that you will be able to have evidence of that time you destroyed your best friend in Smash uploaded to the internet for the world’s viewing pleasure until the end of time.
While the WiiU has not been the hot button item Nintendo wished it would be from the beginning, they have definitely learned alot in the DLC department this generation. The long legs they have given to their titles such as Mario Kart 8, Pikmin 3, Splatoon, and Smash is all thanks to their commitment to delivering well-priced, timely DLC.
Nintendo has said that more costumes and mode info will be shared from their official Twitter account throughout the week. Make sure to keep your eyes there for any new updates before the content is released this Friday. Nintendo has always been great at getting us hyped for new content while they slowly drip out new information.
Are you excited to get back into Super Smash Bros.? Or have you moved onto other things? What do you think of the way Nintendo has handled DLC this generation? Let us know in the comments down below!
We are a few weeks away from SummerSlam in New York. Already, WWE is all in with Brock Lesnar and The Undertaker with the enormous brawl from last week. That’s already a hotter match than what ever Rollins will be a part of…let’s see what WWE does next…
We start with clips of The Undertaker from last week, declaring himself a vengeful, angry Cookie Monster grim reaper and the ensuing brawl with Lesnar later on in the show.
And we are LIVE(!!!) from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma for WWE Monday Night RAW!!!
JBL, Cole and Byron Saxton are the guys at the desk.
DANIELLE: Where’s King?
ME: King’s doing Smackdown now.
DANIELLE: Since when?
ME: He’s been doing it for months.
DANIELLE: Why couldn’t they send Cole to Smackdown???
Triple H, Steph and Seth Rollins all walk out to the ring to start us off. Triple H welcomes everyone to Monday Night RAW and says that SummerSlam will be epic — because it’s now going to be four fucking goddamn wrist-slitting hours. Sigh. Triple H announces a huge match tonight between Dean Ambrose and Big Show. Yay…? Steph announces that Paige faces Sasha Banks. Crowd goes mild. Triple H announces that Kevin Owens will, for the first time ever, face off against Randy Orton. Steph says that Alicia Fox and Nikki Bella will take on Becky Lynch and Charlotte.
Rollins says he’s getting fired up, hearing all this. He brags about walking into Battleground as champion and walking out champion. He wants the crowd to stand up and admit that Rollins is one of, if not the greatest, champions of all-time.
John Cena’s music hits. He says that Rollins is a jackass and a joke — not the greatest. He’s not asking Rollins to do anything about anything tonight. He’s here, instead, to talk to Triple H and Steph. Tonight is a night of “firsts”. He wants to see if Rollins can become a man. He wants to take on Seth Rollins for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship because, fuck Brock Lesnar and everyone else. He’s John fucking Cena. Rollins tells Cena to shut up for “the first time ever”. He says that the belt around his waist isn’t he U.S. Championship. It’s THE Championship. Steph stops him and asks for a crowd vote. The crowd pops for the idea. So Steph says…NOOOOO. No Heavyweight Championship match for Cena. He has to earn it. Triple H says that nobody wants to see the Championship defended on RAW. So, tonight, it will be John Cena vs. Seth Rollins — but it will be for the United States Championship. (DANIELLE: That’s…that’s ridiculous.) The crowd completely dies as The Authority walks off. Way to kill the crowd.
JBL defends this bullshit. Cole can’t believe it.
TONIGHT:
Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens
Paige vs. Sasha Banks
Dean Ambrose vs. Big Show — NEXT.
When we come back, Miz is on commentary, because that’s what he does now.
MATCH #1: Dean Ambrose vs. Big Show Show misses a chest slap and Ambrose just starts punching and chopping at him. Show knocks him down, then lunges at him when he gets back up. Ambrose ducks and Show goes outside. Ambrose dropkicks him, then dives at him. Ambrose goes top rope but Show chops him on the way down. When we come back from another break, Show has Ambrose in a leglock. Ambrose starts untying Show’s boot. Show drops him and re-laces it for like a full minute while Ambrose just sits in the corner, watching. Ambrose finally attacks and locks in a Sleeper. Finally, Show breaks free and Ambrose rolls out of the ring. Show follows but Ambrose punches at him and drops his neck on the ropes. Ambrose goes top rope but Show catches him and hits a Reverse Side Suplex for two. Show calls for the Chokeslam but Ambrose counters into a DDT. Ambrose kicks and punches some more. Show shoves him into the ropes. Ambrose comes back with the Rebound Clothesline and hits the Chokeslam. Show gets 2 1/2. Show hits ANOTHER Chokeslam and Ambrose ends up outside the ring. The ref counts but Ambrose gets back in at eight. Show hits a HUGE Superkick and Ambrose goes outside again. Show hits a Flying Bus outside, then goes back in the ring. Ambrose is dead outside — and just barely gets back in at nine. Ambrose gets in the ring, then falls out again. Show chases and presses him but Ambrose lands on his feet and kicks Show in the head. Ambrose dives at him again but it’s the KO Punch by Show. Ambrose tries to get to his feet but it’s a countout ending at 11:19. WINNER: Big Show via countout
RATING: *. 11 minutes for a countout? Why is Big Show even around anymore? If the point was that “Ambrose” never quits…we kinda already knew that.
Post-match, Show runs at Ambrose outside. Ambrose sidesteps and Show just destroys the timekeeper’s pit.
Cole and the boys talk about the announcement that SummerSlam is 4 hours this year.
TONIGHT: Luke Harper comes back to the Wyatt Family unlike the last time where he came back.
ALSO: Neville.
MATCH #2: Fandango vs. Neville Fandango hits a clothesline off a series of ducks and counters, then hits a Reverse Surfboard. Neville breaks and kicks at Fandango. Fandango falls out of the ring and hits a Moonsault to Fandango outside. Neville goes top rope and hits the Red Arrow back in the ring to win this at 1:52. WINNER: Neville via Red Arrow
RATING: n/a – squash
Post-match, Stardust appears on the Jumbotron because, suddenly, he’s a “Super-Villain” and Neville is a “Superhero”. Stardust says he will be the one to recognize the WWE Universe and there isn’t a thing Neville can do to stop him.
STILL TO COME:
Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens
Paige vs. Sasha Banks
Lucha Dragons vs. Los Matadores
Seth Rollins vs. John Cena for the WWE United States Championship
Paige is backstage with Charlotte and Becky. Paige says the WWE Universe loves the two of them. They cheer themselves. Sasha Banks, Naomi and Tamina show up to set things straight. Paige tells them that they’re not taking all the credit for the sudden DIVASAREALLIMPORTANTNOW thing Steph has invented. Paige says they do dominate, though. Paige yacks about being a two-time Divas Champ and NXT Champ. Charlotte goes, “WOO”, which is coming off as incredibly self-serving and annoyingly desperate and everyone in the room starts getting into each other’s faces.
MATCH #3: Paige (w/ Charlotte & Becky Lynch) vs. Sasha Banks (w/ Naomi & Tamina) The two grapple and then fall out of the ring. Paige clotheslines Banks using the top rope, then knees her in the head for two. She puts Banks in the corner and begins elbowing her in the face. Banks rolls Paige up for two and hits a wristlock. Both Divas botch the next move and try to dropkick one another. Then they stand up. Banks goes for a handshake. Paige kicks her, knocks her down and headbutts her. Paige hits a Fallaway Slam for two. Paige applies a headlock. Sasha breaks but Paige converts into an armbar. Sasha breaks and gets tossed from the ring, so Paige hits a Suicide Dive taking out Banks as well as Naomi and Tamina. Whe we come back, Banks has a chinlock on Paige. During the match, the ref tossed every single valet from the ring, which is a goddamn relief. Banks rams Paige into the buckle as the Bellas watch from the back. Sasha stomps on Paige’s ribs off the buckle and gets a two count. Banks chokes Paige on the ropes and knees her in the face. She mocks Paige with the THIS IS MY HOUSE yell. Paige rolls her up for two. Banks comes back with a clothesline and locks Paige’s arms around her own neck. Paige tries to break and does, kicking at Banks. Paige batters her with knees in the corner and hits some weak clotheslines. A dropkick and Superkick later, Paige goes for the PTO. Banks kicks out. Paige ends up in the corner. Banks hits a running knee and covers for two. Paige comes back, working Banks in the corner with kicks, then locks her chin but Banks gets to the ropes. Paige tries to slam Banks but Banks counters into the Banks Statement for the win at 13:46. WINNER: Banks via Banks Statement
RATING: ***1/4. Good Divas match. Made all the better when the ref told all the other women to go backstage.
TONIGHT: Cena takes on Rollins.
Renee Young has Rollins backstage. He asks Renee who won at ‘Mania and who walked out of Battleground. She talks technicalities but Rollins isn’t having it and says that he has beaten people on his own. He says he’s sick of Cena saying that the “future of WWE goes through him”. Tonight, he’ll show Cena that the future has passed him by.
NEXT: Rusev and Summer are here.
“The Terminator” is now a playable character in WWE 2K16. The T2 bar scene re-enacted with WWE employees is actually pretty funny.
When we come back, Rusev and Lana Rae are in the ring. Rusev says he is smitten and his heart is gonna BURST OUT for the woman who “healed his soul”. He says that it’s tradition for women to be subservient to men and it’s also tradition to give women gifts. So he gives her an actual live puppy. The puppy’s ugly and pees on itself and it’s neutered, so Rusev calls him “Dog Ziggler”. Rusev isn’t done with the gifts. He gives Summer a fish. She’s disgusted. “Take the fish,” says Rusev. Oh, dear god…he says the fish is like Lana. It’s cold, like she is. Lana shows up at the top of the ramp and makes her way to down to the ring. She says that Rusev constantly tries to embarrass her and lie about her but everyone can see right through it. She says that Rusev still thinks about her. Summer shows off her body and says that Lana really is a fish. Lana kicks her in the knee, then rubs her face in the fish. Rusev screams at Lana. Lana slaps the taste out of his mouth and leaves the ring. So Rusev throws the fish at her. I can’t believe I just typed any of the above. Summer shrieks like an insane person.
WHAT A FIRST!!!
STILL TO COME: Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens
NEXT: Another look at the Lesnar/Taker feud from last week.
We get that montage.
NEXT WEEK: BROCK IS COMING TO SAN JOSE FOR RAW!!! WE WILL BE THERE!!!
The Prime Time Players are here at ringside.
MATCH #4: Lucha Dragons (Kalisto & Sin Cara) vs. Los Matadores (Diego & Fernando) (w/ El Torito) Flippy goodness. It’s roll-ups and reversals and counters to start. Cara hits a Spinning Backbreaker. Kalisto gets in and Cara splashes him on top of Matador #1. Kalisto flips all over the place and hits a Bridge Pin. #1 hits a Springboard Elbow and slaps Kalisto in the corner. He charges but Kalisto kicks him and hits a Frankensteiner followed by an arm drag. Cara gets in and hits a Splash. Matador #2 tags in. Cara tries to splash them both. A bunch of counters and one of the Matadors ends up outside. Cara gets kicked outside as well. A Matador stalks Cara and puts him back inside the ring with a headlock. Cara breaks but it’s a tag to the other Matador and the two just kinda own Cara for the next couple minutes. Cara gets hit with a Double Arm Hook Suplex and it’s a tag to #1 who stomps at Cara’s knee. #1 sweeps his leg like he’s Cobra Kai and it’s a tag to #2. Cara finally rolls up #2 and drops him to the mat. It’s a hot tag to Kalisto who hits a nice Springboard Cross Body and a Leaping DDT off the top rope. Kalisto hits a flipping Enzuguri — and the New Day shows up to fuck with everything. The New Day holds a sign over Kofi reading “REAL MEGA DAD OF THE YEAR”. They dance while Kalisto rolls up one of the Matadors for the win at 8:06. WINNER: Lucha Dragons
RATING: **. The match felt twice as long as it was. Not bad action but the crowd was dead, the commentary was god-awful for all eight minutes (with JBL and Titus arguing over Puerto Rico and the performers in the ring) and then you had New Day arbitrarily showing up to boot. If there was ever a “revolution” needed, it’s definitely the tag team division.
Post-match, The New Day argues with PTP while the Lucha Dragons celebrate their win.
Cole reviews Battleground where Luke Harper cost Roman Reigns his match against Bray Wyatt.
LAST MONDAY: Dean Ambrose helped Roman Reigns beat up the Wyatts.
Bray and Luke Harper are in the ring. Bray asks the audience if they love their family members. Bray says that the children probably think that the world is lovely. He says that the children are being lied to. He says that nobody loves the children. The truth is shocking and terrifying. He says that schools and government and churches are all corrupt. Bray starts talking about his “pet”. (DANIELLE: Dog Ziggler?) He says that he let his pet go into the real world. When his pet came back, he had a scar. He was different and he never left Wyatt’s side. His pet learned that the world’s teeth are sharper than his. Harper is a damaged man. He says he fixed Harper like he fixed a broken toy. Wyatt tells Harper to speak of the truth. Harper says that he’s the way he is because the world shunned him. They all created Luke Harper. Bray saved him. He tells Reigns to prepare for mud if he’s also praying for rain. He pledges his life for Wyatt. Wyatt grabs the mic and says it’s all about family, good or bad. He says that Reigns doesn’t care for Dean Ambrose. He says that Reigns should know that they’re there. Follow the buzzards. Pointless. As. Fuck. I don’t care about any of this.
TONIGHT: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins
MATCH #5: Charlotte & Becky Lynch (w/ Paige) vs. Alicia Fox & WWE Divas Champion Nikki Bella (w/ Brie Bella) Nikki works on Becky’s arm to start. Becky comes back with a couple armdrags and an armbar. Tag to Charlotte. The two women hit a double dropkick on Nikki. Charlotte hits a quick bridge pin for two. She chops at Nikki but Nikki kicks her away and tags Alicia. Alicia hits a wristlock. Charlotte trips her up. Fox lands weird and retreats to the corner. Charlotte goes after her but Alicia flips her over the top rope. Nikki attacks Charlotte but Charlotte hits a forearm, sending her to the floor. Alicia kicks Charlotte in the head and Charlotte falls next to the mat. Fox kicks her in the ribs and hits the Northern Lights Suplex for two. Fox tags Nikki who trips Charlotte and gets a two. Abdominal Stretch by Nikki. Charlotte breaks it and charges Nikki who sends her to the mat and does push-ups. Nikki hits a suplex with the help of the top rope. Two count. Tag to Fox and it’s a double suplex by Team Bella. Two count. Fox goes for a Surfboard but botches it and Charlotte falls on her for two. Charlotte tags Becky who sends Nikki to the mat, then hits a quick suplex for two. Becky hits an Arm Hook Suplex. Nikki attacks but Charlotte sends her out of the ring. Fox charges at Becky who hits the Dis-Armer for the win at 6:00. WINNERS: Charlotte & Becky Lynch
RATING: **. Not a bad match but a bit muddled. Nikki and Fox look way out of their league with these two.
ON TOUGH ENOUGH: Patrick was eliminated. Team B.A.D. will be on the show tomorrow.
NEXT: Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens
When we come back, Sheamus is at ringside, doing commentary.
MATCH #6: Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens Owens and Orton go face to face. Owens barks at Orton. Orton barks back. Owens slaps Orton. Orton kicks Owens. Orton hits an uppercut. Owens rolls out of the ring. Orton follows him after Owens jaws at him. They brawl outside. Orton sends Owens into the barricade and hits a clothesline. He rolls Owens back inside and starts stomping on Owens’ foot. Owens gets up and fights back, hitting a running clothesline. He picks up Orton, taunting him. Orton responds with a dropkick. Owens rolls outside. Orton hits uppercuts. Owens retaliates with a Fallaway Slam into the crowd barrier. After break Owens kicks Orton to the mat and hits a Reverse Senton for two. Owens mocks the Orton arms taunt. He picks Randy up but Orton starts hitting shots to Orton. Orton hits a backbreaker and both men are down. They get up and Owens hits a clothesline for two. He chokes Orton on the ropes and yells at Cole again. Owens elbows Orton in the corner and tosses him into the corner. He hits a clothesline and Orton goes down. Owens misses the Canonball Splash and Orton hits clotheslines and the In-Stride Powerslam. Orton hits a Fisherman’s Suplex Throw. Owens rolls outside the ropes. Orton goes for the Vintage Orton DDT but Owens blocks and the fight spills outside. Orton measures Owens for a kick but Sheamus gets up and hits a Brogue to get the DQ at around 11:15. Cole laments that “Sheamus ruined a great match”, if you can believe that. WINNER: Randy Orton via DQ
RATING: **. This match never had the intensity required to make it “great”, contrary to Cole’s weird ratings system.
Sheamus attacks Orton in the ring. Cesaro shows up to help out but Owens takes him out and hits the PA! PA! POWERBOMB!!! to make the crowd hate him to death. Owens taunts Cesaro, then mocks Orton again.
Renee Young has John Cena backstage. She wants to know what happens if Rollins beats him tonight. Cena says that one of two things will happen: Rollins leaves here with two championships or Cena shocks the world and beats Rollins.
ON SMACKDOWN: Becky Lynch faces Nikki Bella.
MATCH #7: John Cena (champion) vs. WWE World Heavyweight Championship Seth Rollins (challenger) for the WWE United States Championship After a series of armbars, Cena hits a shoulderblock, sending Rollins out of the ring. Once he regroups, Rollins gets back in and ends up in a side headlock. Rollins breaks with an Irish Whip but Cena hits a shoulder tackle and hip toss. Cena goes for the AA but Rollins kicks out and hits a lariat. Cena tries to fight but Rollins knocks him down and hits a kneedrop for two. When we come back, Rollins gets a pin for two. Rollins hits a suplex. Two count. Another suplex/two count and Cena gets to his feet. Rollins misses a clothesline and ir’s Moves #1 and 2. Rollins gets out of the #3 and kicks Cena for tow. Cena kicks out and hits #3 anyhow. He goes for the 5KS but Rollins kicks him and rushes at Cena in the corner. Cena hits the Tornado DDT out of the corner for two. Cena sets up and tries for the AA. Rollins escapes and shoves Cena outside. He dives at Cena and tosses him back inside. Rollins goes top rope and it’s a knee to Cena’s face for two. Rollins sets up for the Pedigree. Cena breaks out and puts Rollins on his shoulders for an Electric Chair Drop. Two count. The two trade shots. Rollins gets the upper hand and knees him in the face. Cena is bleeding profusely from his nose. Not good at all. He gets up and rushes at Rollins, punching away. Rollins fights him off, gets to a corner and hits the Buckle Bomb for two. A doctor rushes in and towels Cena off. Rollins attacks and it’s a Springboard Stunner by Cena. He goes for the AA but Rollins kicks out and hits a short Superkick for two. Rollins picks Cena up — but Cena hits an AA for a close fall. Once again, a doctor tends to Cena whose nose looks like it was hit by a frying pan. Cena climbs the top rope but Rollins runs up to meet him for a Superplex, followed by a Thunder Drive for two. Rollins goes for the 450 Splash but misses and Cena puts Rollins into the STF. Rollins taps at around 17 minutes. WINNER: John Cena via STF
RATING: ***1/4. Really good match even though it was Cena running over Rollins for the most part. The STF submission was quick, only because Cena broke his nose.
Cena celebrates as we go off the air. He is in obvious pain.
OVERALL: Solid show, for the most part. WWE’s in flux before SummerSlam. Cena’s broken nose is going to have an interesting affect on future booking.
“This game is a narrative experience that does not hold your hand.”
This warning greets you at the start of The Vanishing of Ethan Carter and I’m not sure truer words have ever been uttered in a video game. Developers The Astronauts have built a game that will test your attention to detail and patience… for better or worse.
You play the role of Paul Prospero, a paranormal investigator. Letters from a young boy named Ethan, have brought you to Wisconsin in 1973 for your latest case: the disappearance of Ethan. In said letters, Ethan has described happenings and events that no child should have knowledge of. Why Ethan knows this and why he has disappeared is the driving force and one that is handled beautifully throughout.
As I mentioned, The Vanishing of Ethan Carter is a narrative experience. (*Editor’s note: actually the Developers mentioned it, you just agreed.) You control Prospero through the first person perspective with limited functionality. You can walk, sprint, zoom in and interact with the environment. These stripped down controls serve to put the story front and center. Your goal is to “solve” numerous events throughout the area and through these events you are rewarded with pieces of the mystery.
While the drive to discover more about Ethan and the forces at play here is strong, the triggering and “solving” of these events is where the game loses some of its luster. Instead of environmental puzzle with clever solutions, often times success is dependent on scouting every inch of the map. Solutions were never satisfying and I found myself often wishing I was watching someone else play, rather than play it myself. A consequence of this choice in “gameplay” is that it is entirely possible to miss and skip over an event. Thankfully, the developers realized this and built in a mechanic late in the game that allows you to go back to an area where you missed the event. They even send you on your way with a rather large clue. So much for not holding your hand.
While searching every inch of the land is tedious, at least the scenery is gorgeous. I often found myself taking a moment to look around the forest at the attention to detail in the trees, or standing on the edge of a cliff admiring the sun’s reflection off of the body of water in front of me. In the game’s port to the PS4, The Astronauts have the game running on the Unreal 4 engine and it shows. Beyond the technical achievements, the art style is also fantastically eerie. The lack of life, and the quite of the Wisconsin countryside adds to the supernatural creepiness of the game’s story. It’s a world that feels real and lived in, despite the emptiness.
The Vanishing of Ethan Carter is a difficult game to recommend. It is, however, a very easy “experience” to advise. While I’m torn as to whether or not I was actually having fun throughout the 4 hour campaign, I was driven to continue playing it. The desire and tension you feel throughout are something special that is rarely felt in video games. The level of storytelling is such that everyone should give this game a shot… as long as you know what you’re getting yourself into. And luckily The Vanishing of Ethan Carter makes sure you do.
Every day this week we will recap each film of the Mission: Impossible franchise, leading up to our review of “Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation”. Your mission (should you choose to accept it) is to sit back and enjoy as we look back at nearly 20 years of the Mission: Impossible film series!
And if you missed any other entries, you can start here:
The best one since the first one. Ethan now trains IMF agents and has settled into a “normal” life with his fiance, Julia (Michelle Monaghan). After reluctantly getting involved in the mission to capture mysterious arms smuggler, Owen Davian (Philip Seymour Hoffman), Ethan’s worst fears are realized when Davian (who has connections inside the IMF) finds out about Julia and, after escaping Ethan’s custody, kidnaps her.
Best scene:
The first three minutes of the film. In true Alias fashion, director JJ Abrams gives us Ethan Hunt, stripped down, trapped and helpless. He’s strapped to a chair. A tiny little explosive has been put into his head that will kill him if Owen Davian chooses to press a small button. And Davian has Julia at gunpoint. He wants to know where “The Rabbit’s Foot” is. All we know is that Hunt gave it to him already and doesn’t know why Davian is asking where it is. Davian is stone-faced and cold as he announces that he’ll count slowly to ten. If Hunt doesn’t tell him where it is, Julia will die. Is he bluffing? No. Davian doesn’t care about anything but himself and his money. Here, we see Hunt doing everything he can to appeal to Davian. At first, he keeps his cool and tries to bargain — but as the count increases, Ethan is reduced to begging and pleading, his voice cracking and his eyes welling up with tears. The scene immediately grabs you and pulls you into this movie — and it’s even more exciting once you realize that it’s not actually the beginning of the story. We still have to find out how Hunt got there.
Best line:
Luther Stickell: Was there something more going on between you two?
Ethan Hunt: Lindsey was like my little sister.
Luther Stickell: And you never…slept with your little sister, right?
Actual best line:
Brassel: Mr. Musgrave, please don’t interrupt me when I’m asking rhetorical questions!
Personal recollections:
I really liked this movie. When it was announced, Tom Cruise was going through a shit-storm of unimaginable proportions and, in all honesty, the crap he was getting was warranted. His behavior was getting bizarre and he made no secret of his belief and ties to Scientology. I really thought this film would sink. After seeing the trailer, I was impressed — but still not completely sold. I liked what JJ Abrams had done with Lost and Alias. And, hell, it was Mission: Impossible. What wasn’t to like about it? I went to a midnight showing with my friends after one of my final retail shifts and was pleasantly surprised by how good the movie was. It was intense, fun and inspired. We still got black ops go-in-and-smoke-’em-out attitude of the last film — but returning was the covert missions where everyone played a part and blended in with the background. The score was also back to basics with Abrams’ preferred composer, Michael Giacchino, jumping on board to give us the bongo-and-horns spy ambiance. Also of note was the humanizing of characters. Hunt was no longer an unkillable super-spy. He was vulnerable. He could be hurt bad, both emotionally and physically. This was a welcome development. The movie would go on to gross around $400 million worldwide which, I guess, was apparently lower than expected — but it also turned a profit, so it wasn’t a total loss. The movie got positive marks from critics but more than a few made their disgust with Cruise known. This was a nice return to form after the out-of-character slam-bang action flick that was the last movie.
Other interesting things you might not have known:
Early production on the film saw Ang Lee and Phil Alden Robinson as possible directors. The Lee treatment would have been a prequel to the first film in the series and would have also seen the return of Emilio Estevez as Jack Harmon. Director David Fincher was slated to direct this at one point but dropped out of both this film and Lords of Dogtown, the latter of which he stayed on to produce. Fincher stated, “I think the problem with third movies is the people who are financing them are experts on how they should be made and what they should be. At that point, when you own a franchise like that, you want to get rid of any extraneous opinions.” Joe Carnahan was signed after this because Cruise loved his film, Narc, but Carnahan left, citing severe creative differences just a month before shooting. His departure delayed the film for over a year as Cruise was contractually-obligated to shoot War of the Worlds with Steven Spielberg and JJ Abrams (who was eventually hired) was busy with Lost and Alias.
This was JJ Abrams’ first feature film and the budget he had ($150 million) was, at the time, the largest ever afforded to a first-time director.
Emil Richards was one of the five men playing the bongos on the film’s score. He was the person who played the bongos on the original Mission: Impossible series’ theme song.
Thandie Newton was offered the chance to reprise the role of Nyah from the previous film, but declined to spend time with family. Carrie-Ann Moss was cast to replace her (in a new role) but her character was scrapped altogether after Carnahan left the project. Scarlett Johansson was also cast in the role of Lindsay Farris but dropped out and was replaced by Keri Russell. Kenneth Branagh was also a notable drop-out. Cast as a villain in the film, he left the project because of scheduling conflicts. When the dust settled and the actual cast was finally locked in, the budget was readjusted and Tom Cruise ended up taking a huge pay cut.
The three female leads in this film (Keri Russell, Michelle Monaghan, and Maggie Q) have all, at one time, voiced Wonder Woman in various DCU Animated projects.
This was the first Paramount Pictures release to have a digital print.
I am the worst when it comes to platform video games. I’ve loved and played them since before I can even remember, Mario, Sonic, Metroid, Castlevania, all of the classics. You would think that with 25 years experience under my thumb I would be better equipped to handle such games.
And if you watched me play Tembo the Badass Elephant, you would quickly realize that experience means nothing in my hands.
Tembo is an action platformer from developers Game Freak (that’s right, those Pokemon nerds) that harkens back to the Sonic games of old, back before 3D became an obnoxious “bonus.” You take the role of the Rambo elephant, intent on saving Shell City from the dastardly, mustache-strokingly evil PHANTOM. As you blaze through levels scoring peanuts instead of rings, you have the option to rescue civilians trapped in fragile glass cages, bringing them along for the fast-paced ride through each level. Or in my case, the fast-paced ride to gruesome death.
There’s also a baddie death tally for each level which is important because that overall total allows you access to later levels. Haven’t murdered enough purple dudes? Go back a level and make sure you’ve killed them all. Rescue a few more civilians while you’re at it because you probably missed a bunch, you half-assed hero.
While the game wants you to play as fast-paced as the Sonics of yore, you can’t. Too many traps await you, be it baddies with knives, electrical currents, and fire EVERYWHERE. Not to mention the fact that you do need to stop and kill every PHANTOM baddie you come across if you plan on moving forward in levels. I suppose you could stop to rescue the idiots who were captured if you’ve got a completionist personality. With all that in mind, you’re less likely to spend your time BADA BADAing across the level and instead jumping and dodging attacks, spraying your snot water to put out fire, and figuring out puzzles to earn a few extra peanuts. It’s not a *bad* thing, it’s simply the game is promoted as a zooming elephant flying across levels, tucked into a ball, and killing everything in sight, and that’s most assuredly not the case.
I do enjoy it the game. It has a good feel to it. The animation and hand-drawn comic action noises are a subtle and entertaining touch. Most of the controls are simple enough to master though there’s this point between controls where instead of dashing you can end up as a ball, hurling down toward the ground, which is particularly frustrating when the floor is paper thin, easily destroyed by your hulking frame, so you plummet to your death, again and again and again.
Tembo isn’t a long game, only 18-levels, and even with the inevitability of going back and repeating levels a few times, it still feels a bit short. That being said, for $15, I felt I got my money’s worth in content. The levels do offer a bit of a challenge and while you can earn extra lives from all the peanuts you’ve collected, you’ll probably end up dying more than you like to admit. Even the bosses offer some challenge, but as long as you aren’t five years old or me, they shouldn’t be too rage-inducing.
All in all, Tembo is a fun time-waster of a game. Don’t expect an in-depth story about how Tembo left his family in the jungle and ran off to save Shell City as a means to provide for them and then picks up a terrible peanut butter habit. It’s meant to be simple, silly, and fun, something you can play for thirty minutes and then put down; all of which it succeeds at.
7.5/10
Tembo was played on the XBOX One but is also available on the PS4 and Windows.
Are you ready for Christmas in July? Sony Pictures brings us the trailer to The Night Before starring Seth Rogen, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, and Anthony Mackie as three best friends who’ve spent the holidays together for years. Their long tradition is coming to an end and what ensues is comic mayhem.
View the trailer:
Here’s the official synopsis:
Ethan (Joseph Gordon-Levitt), Isaac (Seth Rogen) and Chris (Anthony Mackie) have been friends since childhood, and for a decade, their yearly Christmas Eve reunion has been an annual night of debauchery and hilarity. Now that they’re entering adulthood, the tradition is coming to an end, and to make it as memorable as possible, they set out to find the Nutcracka Ball – the Holy Grail of Christmas parties.
The film is directed by Jonathan Levine and also starts Mindy Kaling, Jillian Bell, and Lizzy Caplan. The Night Before is set to be released November 25.
True Detective Season 2, Episode 6 – “Church in Ruins”
Air date: July 26, 2015
In many ways, “Church in Ruins” feels like the episode that audiences have been waiting for from True Detective’s second season. Nearly all of the elements work well here: the character and emotional moments land effectively, the final set piece is tense and thrilling, and tangible progress has been made on an investigation that has been plagued with cold leads and dead ends. It might be too little too late to make up for the season’s uneven trajectory, but “Church in Ruins” provides a strong push into the show’s final episodes.
Ray confronts Frank for a long overdue conversation about the man responsible for his wife’s rape all those years ago. Ray believes that Frank set him up intentionally to gain leverage over him, and the two stare each other down with one hand on the table and the other on their guns. There’s nothing terribly surprising about how the scene plays out; the dialogue is well-written but laden with typical, cynical musings about Ray’s true nature despite his insistence that he would’ve been different had he not gone down that path (“Of all the lies people tell themselves, I bet that’s the most common,” Frank retorts). Though it was very unlikely that the scene would have escalated into a firefight, both Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughn instill the scene with a genuine intensity. The scene is also punctuated with some unexpected humor, thanks mostly to Vaughn’s excellent delivery of “I’m gonna put my other hand up now… Don’t you fucking shoot me, Raymond.”
True Detective has struggled with its characterization this season, but “Church in Ruins” succeeds in delivering some compelling moments, bolstered in no small part by the strong performances of Vince Vaughn and Rachel McAdams. In perhaps Frank’s best scene to date, he visits the wife of his dead associate Stan, and offers their son some wise words of comfort. It’s an excellent scene that elegantly brings together so much of Frank’s character–his philosophy, compassion, understanding, and his own lack of a father figure compounded with his desire to have a child of his own. Ani, meanwhile, finally infiltrates one of the underground sex parties that have been alluded to the entire season, but finds herself drugged and having to escape with Vera, the missing girl from her other case. It’s a blurry, hazy scene that occasionally flashes back to Ani’s sexual abuse as a child, but McAdams delivers a strong performance that captures her struggles against both the drugs and her traumatic flashbacks, as well as her strength and determination to escape alive. The scene is tense and thrilling as the compromised Ani fights (and stabs, finally) her way out of the party and the two manage to reach the car with Paul (who has stolen a number of contracts from the party) and Ray.
One minor issue of the episode is the largely unnecessary exposition that breaks up the much stronger scenes. As we near the season finale, the floodgates on plot developments are opening, but most of the minor plot points still feel a little disjointed or redundant. For example, state’s attorney Davis makes an appearance to remind everyone that Ani’s working the parties, Paul’s working the diamonds, and Ray is looking for Irina Rulfo in a scene that isn’t terribly informative otherwise. Paul’s investigation of the diamonds leads him from an insurance office to a retired cop’s front porch, while Frank’s own search for Irina has him jumping through hoops and making deals with the Mexican drug dealers who visited Frank’s club. Ray finally tells Frank about Blake’s involvement in the parties with Chessani and Osip, and Frank in turn offers the man who originally tipped Ray to the suspected rapist in exchange for the blackmail-filled hard drive. It feels almost like the show is busy trying to get its own characters up to speed and on the same page.
With only two episodes left in the season, True Detective is picking up steam and the central mystery of the season is rapidly unfolding. Much of the exposition and plotting in “Church in Ruins” could have been more streamlined, but it doesn’t detract too much from the strong character development and tense final set piece.
I believe Frank’s telling the truth when he says he didn’t set Ray up. Do you?
The blood in the shack is female, which means it might not be where Caspere was tortured/killed.
Two children survived the blue diamonds robbery in 1992 (a professional job with missing security tapes and execution of the store owners) and ended up in foster care: Leonard and Laura Osterman.
The Mexican drug dealers are are two-for-two at getting the jump on Frank and his men.
Halo 5: Guardians is one of the most anticipated titles to come out this year. Many Halo fans are counting down the days until its October 27 release. Since it’s brief gameplay demo at E3, and mysterious trailers featuring Agent Locke, fans have demanded to know more. Thankfully that day has finally come.
Over on the Halo website’s blog, studio head Josh Holmes has released new details for the upcoming title. According to the blog, this is the beginning of a new series that will pull the curtain back on development. If you’re a Halo super fan, its definitely something worth following.
In the blog post Holmes discusses the origins of the Halo campaign and how it is catered to a single player experience. While you can play multiplayer, it’s more of a carbon copy to lighten the load on the main players game.
“…at its core, Halo’s campaign was originally built to be a single-player experience, first and foremost. So when you joined a friend in their campaign session, you were coming along for the ride and helping to lighten the load. Mechanically, the game was designed with the single-player experience in mind and so the narrative perspective of campaign also remained focused on telling the story of a lone hero.”
One thing that the team at 343 wants to achieve with Halo 5: Guardians is a true co-op experience. They want each player to feel unique, like they are really making a difference on the team. This new viewpoint excited the team, and really drove them forward.
“That changes with Halo 5: Guardians as we have committed to co-operative campaign at a fundamental level. This creative pillar has influenced many decisions throughout the game’s technology and design. While you can still expect the same great single-player experience that Halo campaigns have been known for, engaging in co-operative play gives the campaign a new level of depth and richness.”
Even when playing solo, the games co-op mechanics are still in tact. There will always be four Spartans playing at the same time. However, if you do not have any friends available, the other teammates will be controlled by the new “Fireteam AI”. As leader of the AI team, you will be able to give your members orders such as where to place there fire and when to hold back.
In the Halo 5: Guardians campaign there will be two distinct modes: Single Player and Co-op. Each will have their own separate save files. The host of the game (now with dedicated servers) will be the leader of a fire team, taking on the role of either Master Chief or Agent Locke. Your friends joining in on the fun will choose from one of your 3 allies.
One aspect that will add to the replayability of this game is the distinction between the two teams. Holmes went on to say, “We’ve deliberately designed these two teams to provide visual contrast with one another. Blue Team have a heavier, more weathered feel. Their technology is proven, reliable, and practical in nature. Fireteam Osiris represent a new generation of Spartans. Their armor is sleek and modern, technologically advanced and displaying less wear.”
The amount of detail that has gone into each team member is extremely impressive. The team at 343 wanted to make sure that no matter which character you use, your experience will be unique. This even comes down to each individuals HUD.
“Each character’s HUD has been painstakingly designed by our artists to reflect the visual language of that particular Spartan. So Locke’s HUD has aggressive lines that follow the curvature of his visor while Linda’s enhanced optics are represented in muted tones that reflect her armor palette.”
Outside of aesthetic changes, each character will also have a different weapon load out to match their personality. While core mechanics will remain the same across the board, each team member will have their own unique abilities. Holmes goes on to say, “There are also subtle differences between the characters in terms of attributes. For example: Kelly is the fastest member of Blue Team, while Tanaka has increased motion tracker range.”
The last bit of information given is that the game will feature a new “revive” mechanic, somewhat similar to the Gears of War series. Once you or a team mate is taken down, you have the ability to revive the other player in a set amount of time. This was done to make sure that the co-op action never has a chance to slow down.
Are you excited for Halo 5: Guardians? Or does the new co-op focus have you a little worried? Let us know in the comments down below!
Every day this week we will recap each film of the Mission: Impossible franchise, leading up to our review of “Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation”. Your mission (should you choose to accept it) is to sit back and enjoy as we look back at nearly 20 years of the Mission: Impossible film series!
And if you missed the first entry, you can start here:
The one that ditches the complicated, dense plotting and international post-Cold War intrigue of the first film and gives us a film that is far different in terms of mood and tone. It’s basically “Mission: Impossible Anime” with balls-to-the-wall action. Also, it has Anthony Hopkins because reasons.
Gone is Elfman’s retro spy-and-cocktails musical chic. It’s replaced by a grinding (yet, fitting for this movie) musical score by Hans Zimmer with an assist from Fred Durst who single-handedly bursts your eardrums with a metal version of the Mission: Impossible theme.
But, I’m getting ahead of myself…
This time around, Hunt finds himself in the middle of Australia, trying to stop a former IMF agent (Dougray Scott) from getting his hands on a dangerous virus so that he and his gang can rake in the stock profits on the cure they also possess, when the virus is unleashed on the public by his partners. Hunt is joined by the free-spirited Billy Baird (John Polson) and tech guru from the last film, Luther Stickell (Ving Rhames). The action is insane in this film and every set piece is filmed with tender, loving care as John Woo gives us a violently surreal ballet.
The script from Robert Towne, meanwhile, ranges from hammy to overwrought to blatantly sexist/misogynist with such gems as:
Ethan: No. She’s got no training for this kind of thing.
Swanbeck: What? To go to bed with a man and lie to him? She’s a woman – she’s got all the training she needs.
And…
Ambrose: Suppose she IS some sort of Trojan horse sent in by IMF to spy on us…why should I deny myself the pleasure of a ride or two?
And…
Ambrose: You know women, mate. Like monkeys, they are: won’t let go of one branch until they’ve got hold of the next!
Sheesh.
Best scene:
There are those who’d say that the lab raid was the best scene. I’d say that had the best music. For me, it’s Ethan and Nyah (Thandie Newton) locking eyes for the first time at the flamenco dance hall in Spain. The music is spot on, the slow-motion photography catches two people who have an immediate connection beyond the obvious cat-and-mouse game they’re about to play and it’s beautifully hypnotic.
Best line:
Swanbeck: You’re saying it’ll be difficult?
Ethan: Very.
Swanbeck: Well, this isn’t “Mission: Difficult”, Mr. Hunt, it’s “Mission: Impossible”. “Difficult should be a walk in the park for you.
Actual best line:
Ambrose (to Ethan): You know, that was the hardest part about having to portray you: GRINNING LIKE AN IDIOT EVERY FIFTEEN MINUTES!
Personal recollections:
I saw this prior to a shift I had when I was working retail and I think I saw it like four more times after that. Being the complete John Woo fanboy, I ate this up like the red meat it was intended to be and I wanted more. Watching it again, the film still has some beautiful moments and the pacing is awesome and, really, it’s a fine action film — but it’s sad to see the entire concept of Mission: Impossible being replaced with Tom Cruise zipping around on a motorcycle while shooting at Ambrose, big gun battles, an epic martial arts-fueled fight to the death on a beach. It’s just not what the TV show was. Doesn’t matter, I suppose. Paramount had a cash cow on their hands and Hollywood is rarely interested in subtlety when it comes to films based on old television shows. They did kick it back a notch and mixed in some of the complex plotting from the original show for the third film — but the movie is easily the weakest of the series. I highly recommend Hans Zimmer’s soundtrack, though. That’s the highlight of the film. He was scoring Ridley Scott’s Gladiator at the same time he was scoring this movie (even Lisa Gerard is heard singing on both) and, I must say, this soundtrack is far more memorable than Gladiator. The tracks, “Seville” and “Injection” alone make the score worth the price.
Other interesting things you might not have known:
Returning as a producer, Cruise actually offered director Brian De Palma the director’s chair again. Surprisingly, De Palma declined directing the sequel, sending Cruise and Paramount on the hunt for a new director. After receiving a treatment and commitment from Oliver Stone of all people, the sequel seemed ready to go. But, due to scheduling conflicts with Tom Cruise and his commitment to Stanley Kubrick’s Eyes Wide Shut, Stone ended up backing out. The studio finally settled on famed director John Woo, who was still reaping the success of his 1997 action hit, Face/Off.
The original cut of the film was about 3 1/2 hours long and was initially R-rated, but Paramount told Woo to cut it down to a two-hour run time and curb the violence to meet their PG-13 demographic. Blood was removed during the gun battles as was the sound of cracking bones during fights or physical altercations (check out the part where Ambrose and Hunt break the necks of two different characters — you see it, but don’t hear it) and the martial arts scenes were edited in such a way that the moves performed don’t look as brutal when they’re executed.
Dougray Scott was originally supposed to play Wolverine in X-Men, but had to drop out when the shooting for this movie went long. Ironically, Sir Ian McKellen was asked to play Swanbeck but couldn’t due to a theater commitment in London.
Like the “Akvarium” restaurant in the original Mission: Impossible, Ambrose’s waterfront house was not real. It was a set constructed at Bradley’s Head in Australia and made of polystyrene and other fabricated materials. It was completely destroyed following shooting.
It was Cruise’s then-wife, Nicole Kidman, who wanted to cast Thandie Newton in the role of Nyah. Kidman worked with Newton on the film, Flirting. She was allegedly cast before the script was even written.
This was the very first feature film for which Metallica wrote a brand-new song,
At E3 2014, Konami made waves with the announcement that Hideo Kojima, creator of the Metal Gear Solid series, and famous movie director Guillermo del Toro would be collaborating on a future project. At the show they announced that the game would kick off with a mysterious Playstation exclusive demo, known only as PT (Playable Trailer).
It was later revealed to be a new game in the Silent Hill series, known then as Silent Hills. With the excitement from the demo, and knowing the great work from both involved, the horrific possibilities in my mind were endless. I couldn’t wait to hear more.
Sadly, the project wasn’t meant to be. In a very public spat between Kojima and Konami, the publisher quickly began erasing Kojima and his team from all future projects. This included removing Kojima’s name from the much anticipated Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (releasing this September), as well as ex-sponging the existence of the PT demo off of the Playstation Store. (Be careful: Even if you already own the demo on your system, there is no way to redownload the software if you happen to lose it.)
In an interview with IGN, del Toro spoke fondly of the project. “We were in the planning stages, and it’s a shame it’s not going to happen. We were talking about really pushing the boundaries of the new consoles, and making the game really mess with your head. One of the great moments in Metal Gear [Solid] was Psycho Mantis. The idea that a game can actually interact with you, and stuff like that.” Reading those words made the loss of the project even harder for this gaming enthusiast.
The good news is that Del Toro also brought to light that he and Kojima may still work on a project in the future; it just wont be Silent Hills. “I love working with Kojima-san. We are still in touch. We are still friends and working into doing something together, but that’s not going to be [Silent Hills].”
While we may have lost Silent Hills, an original project may be better for the duo. It may allow them to really stretch their creative muscles. Are you excited for this new, mysterious project? Or are you still mourning the loss of Silent Hills? Let us know in the comments down below!
