As the season starts to wind down, both the Hightowers and the Targaryens don’t seem to have made much progress since the war began. Both sides have suffered heavy casualties and are trying to find a boost.
Last week, Rhaenyra and Jace had the idea of seeing if any Targaryens who had married into other houses could tame the dragons with no riders. Ser Steffen Darklyn is this week’s lucky contestant on “Which distant Targaryen cousin wants to ride a dragon?” They try to have him tame Seasmoke, Laenor’s old mount. Remember Laenor, Rhaenyra’s first husband, Son of Corlys, who faked his death to run off to a foreign land with his boyfriend? Well, he obviously couldn’t take Seasmoke if he was going to maintain the whole “dead” ruse. Seasmoke has been moping around Dragonstone ever since. So how will Ser Steffon fare? Uhhh…
It goes…poorly.
Seasmoke does not wish to serve Ser Steffen unless he means “serve him for appetizers.” Which, yeah. The Targaryens spend their whole lives with their dragons. You can’t teach a distant cousin how to say dracarys and hope for the best.
Rhaenyra is shaken by this and is forced to listen to Lord Bartimos hector her about losing Rook’s Rest, Melyes, and now Ser Steffen. Finally, Rhaenyra has had enough and hauls off and slaps him, getting off the best line of the episode. “It is my fault, I think, that you have forgotten to fear me.” I like angry Rhaenyra! Let’s have more of that. As a viewer, I’m as frustrated that she gets stuck in the castle and doesn’t get to lead her armies. Rhaenyra’s as restless as the riderless dragons under her feet.
Across the Riverlands, Daemon still wandering about Harrenhall having his waking nightmares, and look, enough. I’m as bored by these scenes as Rhaenyra is stuck in her castle. It feels like he’s been there for months without doing anything. At least Alys, the witchy lady, is willing to help him out by “attending” to the sick bed of Lord Tully so young Oscar will be in charge. And even though it should be obvious to everyone that she is the cause of Daemon’s night terrors, I’m glad someone is doing something to move that plot along.
Aemond is still eager to wage war. He knows the people are hungry, and he knows just what to do. He orders Tyland Lannister to go and find the Triarchy and get them to break up the Sea Snake’s blockade. Did I hear that right? The God Damn TRIARCHY? In case you have blissfully forgotten, these were the pirates of the Step Stones, who bedeviled Viserys’ navy for ages. They got a lot of hype but proved to be pretty easy to defeat and the plotlines never went anywhere. And you want to bring them back? Oh, Aemond.
Alicent rightly tries to be a moderating voice, but Aemond rather rudely stops her, basically asking what exactly is it you do here? He then suggests that maybe she content herself with more domestic responsibilities, and dismisses her from the council. Alicent pointedly asks him when will his childhood indignities be avenged. I’ll give Aemond credit, though. He sees right through Larys’s obsequious, suck-up attempts to be made Hand, and instead decides to bring Otto Hightower back.
Myseria’s plan hinted at last week, is to sew discord among the townsfolk. One of her agents spreads rumors of the lavish banquets being held in the Red Keep while the townspeople are starving. And it works! Like instantly! One word in a tavern and the next day the townspeople are ready to steal sheep off the royal cart. Myseria should work at Fox News. It’s also some of what Daemon counseled last season, namely that it’s important to get the small folk on your side.
Part two of the plan is to send dingies loaded with food – and bearing Rhaenyra’s sigil -ashore to King’s Landing under the cover of night. And again, it has an almost instantaneous effect. The townspeople swoon over how Rhaenyra still cares about the little people and then immediately start to riot against the Hightowers. There is a legitimately scary scene, where the mob descends on Alicent and Haelena. It’s a complete inversion of the funeral scene in episode two, where Haelena was beset by the sympathetic crowd. And, look, I know that the small folk don’t necessarily have the deepest loyalty, but the whiplash from switching from one side to the other is dizzying. Surely it should take more than a loaf of bread before you try and kill the royal family.
Corlys is made hand by Rhaenyra, and he also names his bastard son Alyn his first mate. Alyn has a brother, Addam, another one of Corlys’ bastards. Alyn shaves his head every day to hide the silver hair that would give his parentage away. Addam is in the spice port shopping when cries ring out. Seasmoke is approaching, and he seems to be circling Addam. Is he hungry, after frying up Darklyn? Addam seems to think so and is terrified as Seasmoke crawls up to him.
Back in the Castle, Myseria is telling her that the plan worked. The small folk are again singing her praises. (Rhaenyra the Cruel? More like Rhaenyra the COOL, amirite?) They have a nice moment, where Rhaenyra thanks her for her help. Myseria confesses that after her father horribly abused her, she promised herself she’d never trust anyone again. But Rhaenyra is a steadfast and honest person, and she is glad to be of service. Rhaenyra in turn admits that she feels she does not command the respect she would if she were a man. That’s what she always liked about Daemon: his freedom, his impulsiveness, in short, his maleness. The two embrace, and then the embrace starts to become something more.
I’m not opposed to sexy scenes in GOT or HOTD. But this kind of comes out of nowhere. I think they foreshadow it a bit by having Rhaenyra say she always wanted to be what Daemon was. Well, at least they’re related, which is a nice change of pace for this show. Their make-out session gets interrupted by a Queensguard who bursts him to tell her that Seasmoke has been spotted at the spice ports, but with a rider! Rhaenyra immediately flies away on Syrax to see who this could be.
So, even though a Lord got set on fire and Alicent almost got killed by a mob, it didn’t feel like a lot happened this week. It felt like a lot of setup without a payoff. I am getting so bored with Daemon’s waking nightmares and Rhaenyra wandering around Dragonstone. Right now, there seems like far too many council meetings and not enough dragoning. There are only two episodes left in our abbreviated season, so I fully expect lots of action and twists next week. (The great tradition of Game of Thrones is to have the big shocks happen in the second to last episode: the Red Wedding, Ned Stark’s death, etc.) So, hopefully, the writers have something exciting planned.
And it better not be the goddamn Triarchy…
Episode Rating: 2.5 out of 5. I was going to stay at 3, but then you mentioned the Triarchy.
Who’s the Worst? Seasmoke burnt up some people, but Aemond had to go and bring up the Triarchy again, so that makes him the absolute worst.
The fact that I liked Longlegs despite going in so biased against it speaks to how well writer-director Osgood Perkins executes his bleak, dread-filled vision. Perkins’ previous works Gretel and Hansel and The Blackcoat’s Daughter did have a great atmosphere, but failed to engage me on the level of story and character. On the other hand, Longlegs has the advantage of following the classic serial killer movie template, giving it a strong narrative backbone upon which to hang that great atmosphere. Perkins recently said that he has no interest in modern horror movies, but he sure has an interest in nineties horror movies, because he put The Silence of the Lambs, Se7en, and Cure into a blender and poured out this devilish smoothie of a horror film.
After an Academy-ratio cold open giving us our first brief glimpse of the titular Longlegs, the frame widens to take us into 1990s Oregon, where we meet FBI Agent Clarice Starl—I mean Lee Harker, who might be psychic or something? I don’t know, it’s a kind of unnecessary genre flourish that’s mostly good for flashes of snakes and whatnot, but sure! The movie is full of little details like this that you will want to question heavily afterward, but in the moment, it all washes over you because of the off-kilter world Perkins sucks you into.
Neon’s very successful marketing campaign kept Longlegs and the nature of his murders as mysterious as possible, but they could have used them as a hook because…this is a serial killer movie where the serial killer does not appear to have killed anyone at all. Not directly, at least. He’s merely taken credit for a series of murder-suicides involving families, leaving coded messages that no one has been able to crack in decades. Naturally, within about five minutes of Harker’s being on the case, she’s identified key connections between the victims and decoded those messages.
As I said, the film follows the serial killer movie template, so Harker follows clues and finds evidence. She talks to the only known survivor of one of Longlegs’s murders (Kiernan Shipka, who previously worked with Perkins in The Blackcoat’s Daughter, kills it, making archaic, folksy language threatening rather than silly). She digs deeper into her past and her relationship with her mother because she needs to silence those lambs, you know. I was here for this investigation even if many elements of the investigation required some leaps of logic. But sure!
The reason I could “But sure!” so much of this movie is because I spent most of it unconsciously clutching my hand or clutching my arm, just infused with tension. It reminded me of the effect Skinamarink had on me, where I was almost petrified. Perkins knocks you off guard in the early scenes, so you’re constantly afraid of what might come next at any moment. He spikes your heart rate occasionally with arthouse jump scares, which are what I’ve decided to call using brutal editing and musical stings to throw distress at the audience rather than have anything physically happening onscreen to induce a scare.
But on the other end of the spectrum, he also uses a lot of slow push-ins on scenes that might otherwise be a static shot, conveying the sense that the world is closing in on Harker or perhaps that Longlegs is slowly approaching. On two occasions, Perkins pulls off wonderful reveals of an out-of-focus character in the background, the second of which garnered fantastic audience reactions in my packed Monday night theater. So many moments in the movie had me on edge with the no-no-no’s, that helplessness you get when the characters don’t realize that horror is about to befall them.
This grey-tinged world almost devoid of color feels low-key apocalyptic. It’s not as drenched in it as Se7en or quite as unholy about it as Cure, but the occult angle allows for the possibility that Longlegs‘s goals come with dire consequences.
And what of the mysterious Longlegs himself, played by the singular Nicolas Cage? Hoo boy, he’s buried under prosthetics and pale-faced make-up, but he’s remarkably restrained in his own way most of the time. I was impressed with the coldness in his voice, that tinge of menace within the unhinged delivery. The film makes a point not to show too much of him for a while, which heightens his mystery, mythologizing him within the movie. I really liked Cage when he was simply speaking, but there are times when he breaks into song, and I think it’s supposed to be unnerving but I found it more goofy, Cage uncaged. Luckily plenty else about the movie is unnerving!
As for the rest of the cast, Maika Monroe continues to cement her Scream Queen status despite not actually screaming in this movie since she gives an intentionally disaffected performance, keeping Harker’s emotions—if she has any—close to her chest. I enjoyed Blair Underwood as her superior and Michelle Choi-Lee as his partner, both of them adding a little humor to the movie. Humor? In an Oz Perkins movie?! Hey, that helps me connect to the characters as actual people! You’re learning, Perkins. But the real standout in the supporting department is Alicia Witt as Harker’s very religious mother. Witt commands the screen whenever she’s on it, the entire history of her character written all over her face.
I came to this film with much trepidation, having heard that like the other Perkins films I’d seen, it was more about Vibes than story, but these were my kind of Vibes and the story was compelling and relatively well told. Most mainstream serial killer movies are pretty tame, but this is one of those “the world is fucked and evil walks among us” movies that I dig. The visuals and score by Zilgi—aka Elvis Perkins (yes relation, that’s his brother)—gripped me for all 101 minutes, from that deeply unsettling opening scene to that deeply unsettling final scene. Much is indeed left unexplained by the end, including the supernatural element, which is what I’m always most interested in. And yet for Longlegs, the excess of ambiguity only made it that much more unsettling.
When I came home, it was quiet and empty. Or was it? Was there someone there? In my home? Every sound I made was suddenly magnified. I don’t know if Longlegs is a good movie. But I do know that if it left me feeling vaguely unsafe afterward, it’s a good horror movie.
The Acolyte has had quite a season. It was a very ambitious show, starting about a century before the events of The Phantom Menace. It was set at a time when the Jedi were the respected arbiters and peacekeepers in the galaxy. And it wanted to show the cracks in that facade and how evil began to flourish under their watch.
Does it achieve those lofty goals? Let’s find out…
We pick up back at Qimir’s hideout. Osha is putting on his sensory deprivation helmet in order to commune with the Force, but things start to go wrong. She starts to gasp for breath, the room shakes, and Qimir’s eyes go black, like Torbin’s last week when the witches controlled his mind. He struggles to take the helmet off Osha, and when he does, she reveals that she had a vision. She saw Mae and Sol fighting, and her taking him down without a weapon. She knows where he is. She agrees to take Qimir, but she won’t tell them where they’re going. She doesn’t care about revenge, only saving her sister. And I have to say, she is being way too trusting of Qimir, who we have seen kill about a dozen Jedi who had nothing to do with what happened on Brendok.
As Qimir’s ship takes off, we see a shadowy figure emerge from a nearby cave, dressed in a black robe. Is this Qimir’s master? Could this be Darth Plagueis, Palpatine’s master and the key to the rebirth of the Sith? We won’t find out, but feel free to speculate wildly.
Back on Sol’s ship, Mae gets him monologuing about what happened on Brendok. and uses the distraction to have the Pip droid get her out of her restraints. She then tries to flee in an escape pod. Sol chases her, and I have to say, the effects here are beautiful, as is the rousing score that captures the feel of John Williams’s music.
Mae tries to hide between the rings of Brendok, only to have Sol crash through the rocks and particles to follow her. He’s about to catch her, too, until Bazil sabotages the ship because… actually, I have no idea why he does that. Like none. It is entirely unclear and unexplained. Does he want Mae to escape? Why? He was the one who literally sniffed out the imposter. After both ships crash land on the planet below, they make a big deal about Bazil sniffing the controls that Sol was holding. Why? Are they implying that Sol’s Dark Side has changed him? Again, no explanation whatsoever.
Qimir and Osha aren’t far behind, and everyone winds up at Mae and Osha’s childhood homestead. There, we are treated to some excellent fight scenes. Qimir and Sol battle it out in the courtyard, and unlike the forest fight from a few weeks ago, Sol seems to have the upper hand here now that he’s not distracted by the deaths of his fellow Jedi. The battle here is some of the niftiest lightsaber fighting I’ve seen. Qimir separates his saber into two pieces — a short and a long sword — and sends them boomeranging around the yard. Sol leaps and kick and dodges acrobatically. The fight choreographers earned their pay this week.
And Osha and Mae are going at it as well. Mae is still trying to tell her that the Jedi lied to her. Osha is still mad that Mae set the fire that killed everyone, and Osha has had to accept that someone she loves can do something so evil. Both sisters have a point, but last week we saw that Mae started the fire by burning Osha’s book, but it quickly got out of hand. And we have also seen her kill two Jedi. So, perhaps Osha’s grievances are a little more valid here? As they fight, they see the ships from the Jedi Council pass overhead. With the distraction, Mae slips away, and Osha chases after her.
In the courtyard, Sol has subdued Qimir, destroying his lightsaber. He approaches for the kill, only to be attacked by Mae. She manages to wrestle his lightsaber away and toss it across the courtyard. Qimir encourages her to strike Sol down, but Mae doesn’t. She wants him to confess what he did on Brendok. Confess it to the Jedi Council, to the Senate, to everyone what he did to her and her sister. Sol responds that they aren’t sisters or twins. They are the same person. The vergence on Brendok did something to make them identically when their mother used the Force to create them. Their mother must have been very powerful to do that.
To which Mae responds, “and you killed her.” And Sol finally admits what he has been bottling up inside for the whole series. Yes, he did.
It’s at that point that Osha steps into the clearing, holding Sol’s lightsaber. Sol tries to explain himself, but starts to gasp as he gets Force choked. Mae and Qimir exchange glances. They aren’t doing it.
It’s Osha.
Osha, filled with quiet rage, tells Sol to stop talking, crushing his throat as she does, until he dies. Osha has completed Qimir’s requirement: kill a Jedi without using a weapon. She then ignites the lightsaber, and in an incredibly cool sequence, the kyber crystal that powers the blade gets corrupted by the Dark Side. The blade crackles and turns from blue to red.
Osha’s journey is now complete
As the Jedi ship lands, Master Vernestra senses something in the Force, and utters a surprised, “You! You’re alive.” Qimir jams his helmet back on to block her. So they know each other? Is Qimir a former Jedi apprentice? That would explain a lot about where he got his start, and also his enmity towards them.
Osha and Mae flee the compound before the Jedi can arrive. Vernestra finds Sol’s body on the ground, and kneels beside him. Qimir finds the sisters at their favorite tree. Osha tells him that she will train with him, if she lets her sister go. He agrees, but first he has to wipe Mae’s mind of all memories of him and Osha so she can’t follow them or lead the Jedi to them. Which… what? That doesn’t make any sense. Why couldn’t they all go back together? Shouldn’t Mae get a say in this? If she doesn’t want to go with them, then why not just take her to a remote outpost somewhere? It’s sadly typical of how this show treats Mae’s character. One week, she’s a fearsome bad ass who can take down a Jedi Master. The next, she wants to turn herself in. Next week, she wants to find her sister, and then she wants to kill her. Mae’s waffling is probably my biggest complaint with this show. First she wants Sol dead, then she’d rather have him go on trial.
By contrast, Osha’s arc makes perfect sense. She was dazzled by the Jedi and wanted to go to the stars, but her anger at her sister’s actions caused her to fail. She was defensive and protective of her friend and mentor Sol, but then was betrayed when she found out he had lied to her to protect her. She had done everything to keep her emotions in check, but being overwhelmed by her sister’s reappearance and Sol’s lies, her Dark Side took over. Her arc works so much better than Mae’s. Mae really gets the short end here.
The season ends with Master Vernestra telling the childlike Mae what happened. They found her with no memory, so she tells her the story. It’s intercut with her telling the same story to the Senate, and it is also not the truth. She throws Sol under the bus, blaming him for all the deaths, calling him a rogue Jedi. He wanted to save Osha from the witches, and that led to him destroying the coven, and then killing all his accomplices to cover his tracks. She blames Sol for getting obsessed with Osha and everything spiraling out from there. She makes no mention of Qimir or the vergence or the Sith. The Senate is going to launch a full investigation into the cover up.
In the final scene, Vernestra goes to see another Jedi Master for advice on how to deal with her former apprentice, who has turned to evil. The camera tilts down to show the back of a familiar, green Jedi Master. (And if you refer to him as Old Yoda, we are going to have words.)
So, like much of this season, there were some spectacular highs (Action! Music! Lightsabers!) and some head scratching lows (Seriously, WTF Bazil? And memory wipe, why?). Which seems to be all too common with the last few Star Wars shows. And much like another Star franchise that I recapped with Mary Fan, the lows are extra frustrating because there are glimpses of the show that this could have been.
There’s so much good stuff in here. There’s the look at the Jedi as an analogue to the Catholic Church, covering up misdeeds, and those cover-ups leading to the rise of the Sith. There’s a coven of lesbian space witches, using the Force in an “unauthorized” way. There’s the classic Star Wars trope of revenge literally corrupting you. The framework is there! It’s just… not quite connecting for me. The characters aren’t landing. The dialogue isn’t as sharp as I’d like it to be. The pacing is off. And if they could just fix that, this could be great.
Finally, before we leave, I’d like to say a few words about some of the “fan” reaction to The Acolyte. If you spend any time online at all, I’m sure you’ve seen the vitriol expressed about this show. More than one bearded YouTuber has shouted their opinion that this is the WORST STAR WARS EVAH and more proof that Kathleen Kennedy hates the fan base and everything is WOKE and… wow, those people are exhausting.
If you honestly believe that this was the worst Star Wars media ever, I’m sorry, youarewrong. You are simply telling me you are twelve years old and have not experienced the full breadth of what this franchise can offer. The Acolyte has its ups and downs, but it has some interesting ideas, even if it can fumble on the execution. Is some of the acting a tad stiff? Is some of the plotting questionable? Sure! Welcome to the wonderful world of Star Wars. The same people complaining about the acting here were probably on chat boards in 1999 making fun of a child actor by calling him “Mannequin Skywalker.”
Now, no one is forcing you to like a show. There are approximately a thousand other Star Wars shows, movies, books and comics for you to enjoy. Goodness knows, I’ve spent thousands of words over the last seven weeks expressing what I think doesn’t quite work about The Acolyte. But if your reason for hating on the show and review bombing it boils down to WOKE!!!1!! because a Black lady has a lightsaber and the lead is Korean, then fuck right off. I’m not going to attempt to have a good faith discussion with you.
So if we do get the second season that the finale hints at, I certainly hope they give us the time to explore what was interesting here. Will the Senate investigate the Jedi cover ups? Are there more vergences or covens out there, and have there been more “incidents” like the one on Brendok? Will Osha and Qimir bond during training? Will the shadowy figure in the cave turn out to be Darth Plagueis? And will Yoda help fix everything? And what of Mae?
There is certainly ground to be covered and more story to be told. Here’s hoping that Disney and Star Wars ignore the vlogging loudmouths and concentrate on fixing the issues that made The Acolyte less than it could have been.
As I noted a couple weeks ago, Westeros has never been a great place if you are one of the “small folk” or a woman, or both. The series has shown again and again how they get the short, pointy end of the stick and suffer the outrages brought on them by the royal families. The men of the small councils ignored the advice of Alicent and Rhaenyra and galloped off to battle, and now King Aegon, Second of his Name, lies close to death after getting burnt up in the Battle of Rook’s Rest.
So even though the Hightowers parade the severed head of Meleys through town, proclaiming victory, the residents of King’s Landing take it as a bad omen. Dragons are like gods, one says, so if the gods can be slain, what hope is there for us? It was also great how the camera kept the hanging bodies of the rat catchers in the background, as another reminder of what can happen to the little people.
And even though the Greens won, it was truly a Pyrrhic victory. Cole lost 900 of his 1500 men, the dragon Sunfyre died from his injuries, and of course, the King is now barely clinging to life. And as much of a prat as Aegon could be, it’s truly horrifying to see the Maesters pry his charred armor off his pus-filled, burned flesh. (Whoever did the squelching sounds deserves an Emmy.) And the Blacks lost Rook’s Rest, their largest dragon, and their best rider.
So, after that disaster, you’d think that the small councils might reconsider their actions and pursue a different course, right?
Well, let me welcome you to Westeros: Systemic Sexism edition.
While Aegon lies in a coma, a regent must be chosen to rule in his stead and lead the war. Alicent — who has literal Regent experience from her time as Queen to Viserys when he was too ill to rule — gets passed over in favor of the brash and inexperienced Aemond. After all, war is Men’s work! Not even Criston Cole will speak up for her. Later, when he tries to explain how he was protecting her, he calls her “Alicent,” which prompts the reply of “I did not give you leave to call me by name.” (Ooh, I like pissed-off Alicent. More of this please.) Aemond’s first rule order? Lock the gates so no peasants can escape the city and spread lies about how everyone is starving and demoralized. Oh, and cut the rat catchers down. Aemond’s whole vibe is that of the someone who was bullied in junior high and has never, ever forgotten it and has been working out for 15 years so he can punch you at the reunion.
Meanwhile, after screaming at Rhaenyra until she sent a dragon to help Rook’s Rest, her council is still screaming at her because now they’re down a dragon and Rhaenys is dead. Since Aemond has Vhagar, the biggest dragon in Westeros, they can’t rely on air power. They need an army, and Daemon hasn’t answered their ravens asking if he’s gotten the River Men on their side.
Daemon, meanwhile is ignoring both his wife and the witch lady who appears to be clouding his mind. He’s still having waking dreams, including one where he’s having sex with his mother, who is telling him he should have been born first. (You should probably never look at GRRM’s PornHub search history. Never.) He’s gotten Lord Blackwood onside, but even the threat of death by Caraxes can’t make the hated Brackens turn on Aegon. But, there are many ways to wage a war. Like, letting the Blackwoods wage a war of terror and pillage and kidnapping and rape against their mortal enemies, all with the tacit approval of Daemon. (Hey, you think that Rhaenyra might have a few thoughts about this? After all, she was super cool about the whole dead baby thing.) It goes over so well that the River Lords bang on the door in the middle of the night to express their displeasure. Operation Hearts and Minds is going great, guys! And he’s not even pretending that he’s doing this for Rhaenyra. He wants the army for his own purposes, and then Rhaenyra is welcome to rule by his side in King’s Landing.
Corlys is grieving the loss of his wife. And even though their marriage was one of political alliance, it still very obvious that he loved Rhaenys. He, too, is blaming Rhaenyra, but Baela tells him to stop. She went into battle on her own accord, and she died doing what she loved most. It’s exactly the way Baela would like to go, burned in dragonfire. Corlys tells her he wants her to be his heir, but she turns him down. The Driftwood throne should be for someone of salt and sea, and Baela is of fire and blood.
Even sweet, young Jacerys is chafing at his mother’s rules. At least his motives are pure! He wants to help his mother solidify her claim! He wants her on the throne! At Baela’s prodding, he goes off to see the Freys. (You remember the Freys, right? In about 250 years, they’re going to host a wedding there with a red color scheme.) They control the river crossing that the Northerners Jace recruited will need on their march to King’s Landing. If he can secure the alliance of the Freys, then that will be a tremendous boost to the war effort. He gets the Freys to pledge fealty, but they would like Harrenhall for their own at the end of the war. Sure, no prob. I’m sure stepdad Daemon will put his own plans to the side for this.
Mom is actually very pleased with Jace’s negotiations, even though she looks mad. And the reason is the same as why Jacerys was so mad. She wants to contribute to the fight, but everyone needs to keep her safe to protect the lines of succession. And she is still worried about beating Aemond and Vhagar in battle. Jacerys has a thought. Under Dragonstone, there are two dragons — Vermithor and Silverwing — who are as large as Vhagar, but lack riders. Now, there are many Targaryens who over the years married into other noble houses. Maybe they could be persuaded to try riding a giant dragon? Perhaps they could find one in the records? The camera then tips back to reveal a wall of records and scrolls. It’s a long shot, but it might work. (Look at Jace! He’s being so helpful! This must mean he’s not long for this world.) [Editor’s Note: LOL long shot of a long shot…]
Sexism is a prominent theme this season, and it gets very overt at certain points. (Rhaenyra’s man at arms says the fairer sex has no experience with war. Rhaenyra reminds him that her father had decades of peace, and he’s fought in as many battles as she has.) Alicent has been pushed aside by her family and her lover, even while they claim to fight in her name and for her son. And Daemon has managed to anger everyone in the Riverlands as he tries to raise his army so he can march on King’s Landing, so he can be King and maybe bring Rhaenyra along for the ride. There are layers here, beyond the jockeying for the throne. I’m not about to claim that this is a feminist treatise, but there are some rather interesting threads you can pull at to look at how the power structures work.
This week can’t help but feel like a bit of a come down after the thrilling dragon battles at Rook’s Rest, but it was still very good. There is a lot of strategy and decision-making in this episode that is going to have repercussions in the weeks to come. And hopefully we will see if a plucky long-lost Targaryen can learn to ride a wild dragon.
Rating: 4 out of 5
Who’s the Worst?: One one hand, Aemond tried to commit regicide to take the throne, and Cole is his usual smarmy self, but Daemon, oh Daemon… Welcome back to the “winner’s” circle. Your open plotting against Rhaenyra and your encouragement of a rape spree helped to seal the deal.
“THE BEAR” — “Apologies” — Season 3, Episode 9 (Airs Thursday, June 27th) — Pictured: (l-r) Ebon Moss-Bachrach as Richard “Richie” Jerimovich, Jeremy Allen White as Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto. CR: FX.
Warning: Spoilers Ahead.
Salt
Aside from Refused’s “New Noise” which many of us cannot hear without probably exclaiming “Corner!” or “Behind!”, a key part of the show is its highly curated Playlist each season. Whereas last season had needle drops from Martin Rev, The Replacements, Taylor Swift, and Illinois’ own Surfjan Stevens among others, this season kept the needle moving forward.
Radiohead secures an early moment in which Carmy (Jeremy Allen White) assures a grieving Marcus (Lionel Boyce) of his steely resolve to make The Bear everything and more. Cocteau Twins hang over happier times between Claire (Molly Gordon) and Carmy like a gossamer blanket of dreaminess. Kool & the Gang and Kate Bush take us into the world of pre-Original Beef Tina (Liza Colón-Zayas) with Ghetto Brothers cinching easily one of the best episodes of the season in “Napkins”(directed by Ayo Edebiri). With at least ten other songs I haven’t talked about, Storer’s maintained that star of excellence by keeping the music a character, a necessary ingredient to make choice moments sing.
“THE BEAR” — “Next” — Season 3, Episode 2 — Pictured: (l-r) Ebon Moss-Bachrach as Richard “Richie” Jerimovich, Ayo Edebiri as Sydney Adamu, Jeremy Allen White as Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto. CR: FX.
Fat
Of course, I wouldn’t be so fully enveloped in these flashes of agony and ecstasy without the characters galvanizing them in unbridled emotion. Carmy’s ice box confessional in the sophomore season finale was something that hit me hard. I don’t wish perfectionism on anybody. It’s an affliction in which the patient is the poison and the antidote. I fucking felt for the man and it’s all because of Jeremy Allen White’s red-hot performance. We open season three with “Tomorrow” which beholds one of the most cinematic, laconic, and lush fifteen minutes I’d seen in a while, TV or movie-related. This season, the struggle is even tastier, as Chef has to contend with the fallout of two essential allies while trying to get The Bear not to sink before it even sets sail. He picked a hell of a time to quit smoking, but I can’t help but love his simple, elegant reason: waste of time. His spirit is there, but his head is far from being in the game.
Being your own worst critic ain’t a picnic and I feel that even though ostensibly there were other fine character arcs, this felt like the season of Carmy. I’m not mad at it. The restaurant is his namesake. His struggle with perfection while searching for inspiration was a lot more fascinating to watch for me than his fallout with his cousin during these ten episodes, engaging as it was. It makes perfect sense to have his journey peppered throughout this season. It feels like we’re finally breaking down the enigmatic Carmine, seeing what makes him tick from his days competing with Luca (Will Poulter) under the nurturing watch of Chef Terry (Olivia Colman) at Ever and Daniel Boulud at Daniel to being browbeaten by bilious David Fields (Joel McHale). Factor in a review that he’s desperately not trying to ruminate on and call it a day. For all his loud moments, Jeremy mostly radiates this season when he’s reflective. It’s peeling back the skin just a bit to see the good stuff, the painful shit on the inside. That being said, we’re also seeing an artist’s struggle, so it might not be for everyone as some may find it meandering. Carmy’s history is given more time to breathe and I’m happy I got a window seat.
“THE BEAR” — “Tomorrow” — Season 3, Episode 1 — Pictured: (l-r) Jeremy Allen White as Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto, Ayo Edebiri as Sydney Adamu. CR: FX.
As Carmy’s partner in crime, Sydney’s story arc this season was a little interesting for me. For whatever reason, I’d been under some delusion that Carmy and Sydney had some romantic tension going on. The Workprint was fortunate to attend a virtual press conference where Jeremy himself said “No? No, there was no talk in the rooms about any romantic implications.”
That being said, it will paint my picture of them in a different light henceforth. Does that diminish the show in my purview of their dynamic? Not really. I’ll just have to readjust the way I view their dynamic. Ayo acted the fuck out of this season. Sydney was equally as captivating as Carmy. Sure, I had some fantasy of Claire being a very realistic wedge between Carmy and Sydney. That’s what would send my hackles up, but alas that’s not the case.
Look, I have no problem with Claire Bear. Claire Bear’s fine. That being said her conflicts this season seem a bit more varied with not a lot of heft of any particular one. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing. I can appreciate her frustration with Carmy more in a sense because he’s still just as vexing as a business partner.
This past Emmy’s, Ebon Moss-Bachrach’s name was on everybody’s lips for his fantastic driving of Richie’s character arc of finding purpose. Because the first episode of this series picks up where were left off, Richie’s not out of the weeds with his own life. Yes, he’s now the boss of the front of the house at The Bear, Chicago’s hottest new restaurant, but Storer and Co. didn’t let up on giving Richie another full plate. Between being at Carmy’s throat for, like, three episodes, big hoss also has to contend with a front-of-the-house where team that doesn’t care (another overlooked birthday is some fucked up shit for a $175/plate nine-course meal) as well as the soon to be husband of his ex-wife Tiffany (Gillian Jacobs). To be fair, if I had a former spouse who had a Frank, I’d be worried too. Ebon delivered for me, but for all of his stress-inducing situations and pain, it feels like he doesn’t truly get much of a win this season for reasons I’ll get into down the line.
“THE BEAR” — “ Ice Chips” — Season 3, Episode 8 — Pictured: Abby Elliott as Natalie “Sugar” Berzatto. CR: FX.
Last season, Natalie (Abby Elliot) aka “Sugar” felt like more of a glue to the cast, a fondant to keep everyone from falling apart. With a baby just around the corner this season, her presence was a bit more understated which is funny because her actual pregnancy was written into season two. She does get a bottle episode in “Ice Chips” with momma bear herself DD (Jamie Lee Curtis) at her side and Abby held her own to her co-star in the anxiety-inducing time spent watching. However, I feel that because Carmy’s insecurities were the main villain of this season, Sugar’s shine time was felt less. I felt we got more screen time with her when the mythical Computer (Billions creator Brian Koppelman) showed up than anything else.
“THE BEAR” — “Napkins” — Season 3, Episode 6 — Pictured: Liza Colón-Zayas as Tina. CR: FX.
Tina is my girl. I can’t help but smile whenever she appears on the screen. Her arc of from what I can understand not being able to catch up right away on Carmy’s ever-changing menu is believable as it’s a world wholly new to her. At first, I was over the moon when Sydney was sending her to the farmer’s market. That’s a huge ask coming from a perspective of trust. However, I wanted to see T more in the kitchen more of this season. I wanted to see a kitchen sink and swim together, and we did get very hellacious dinners, but we don’t see a lot of behind-the-scenes how things come together with Tina. Then again, when you put out a new menu with each service, the kitchen politics are too messy to even think about writing. What we do get instead is “Napkins”. As far as origin episodes go, this one is up there for all time, especially when we get to see more of Mikey (Jon Bernthal). Liza Colón-Zayas dominates the screen as a worker bee without a hive and it’s an episode I can’t get out of my brain.
I was truly glad to see Marcus around more this season. Going into this next part armed with the knowledge of no romance existing between Carmy and Syd, I’m a little disappointed I didn’t see more interactions with The Bear’s resident baker and Sydney together. Marcus clearing the air between him and Sydney mid-season is honestly the only moment that sticks out in my mind. Their repartee has always been on a different wavelength than the rapport of her and Carmy, but to be fair, the dude just lost his mother.
“THE BEAR” — “Doors” — Season 3, Episode 3 — Pictured: (l-r) Lionel Boyce as Marcus . CR: FX.
If you’re a Fak fanatic, boy have I got news for you. If you feel like his presence has been increasing since the beginning, there’s a reason (and it’s not because he’s an Executive Producer and now credited writer on the season opener). At the very same FX Press meeting, Jeremy Allen White had said of Matty Matheson on set, “…like I’ve never seen Chris [Storer] be more joyful…than when he’s directing a scene with Matty and like throwing lines at him.” I was pro-Fak pretty early on in season one, so I’m fine with it… but this isn’t just a celebration of Neil Fak. Theodore (Ricky Staffieri) has a way more sizable presence as well and they call in some familial reinforcements. I won’t spoil who, but one came out of nowhere and was a pleasant surprise.
Acid
Christopher Storer loves movies. If it weren’t apparent this season, the first fifteen minutes of “Tomorrow” should remove all doubt. If that weren’t enough, we get a William Friedkin shout-out and the use of the main titles of a movie I’d not expect to hear at all used (not spoiling that). If that weren’t enough, how about a particular Un Chien Andalou clip snuck into an episode? I dig his vision. With that in mind, this season felt even more cinematic… for Carmy.
When we get inside his mind, the cinematography of his experiences and history are dreamier than a My Bloody Valentine tune. Delving further into what makes Chef tick and tock was something I wasn’t expecting and though it felt like a welcomed surprise, it also felt like my attention was diverted to him more than anybody else. I’m not mad at it. That being said, it also felt like the list of non-negotiables was more of self imposed stumbling block for Carmy than a point of contention for the kitchen, which would have been more interesting.
“THE BEAR” — “Forever” — Season 3, Episode 10 — Pictured: Jeremy Allen White as Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto. CR: FX.
The Bear’s up and running. The failure makes it interesting but without some real scenes of success in the kitchen, the dinner services just flew by, as in I can’t recall any of them. The editing was top-shelf, but it didn’t feel like I got to see the kitchen work together as much to breathe in the occasional success. They just all seem beat up by the end. Kind of a bummer, but what I am very happy about is Chris letting Ayo take on directing duties for T’s origin story. Her natural eye for how Tina came to The Original Beef of Chicagoland in “Napkins” is humanistic and exciting and if you can’t tell by her love of Letterboxd, her love of cinema radiates through in her directorial duties.
Even though the filmmaking on this season was great, it felt at times as if Carmy was running things. You’re only as good as your kitchen and this season stepped it back in shifting the tone a little to get deeper into the “Bear” himself. Acid’s supposed to balance everything out, but this season felt a bit weighted towards Carmy’s struggle and we never fully get out of it or his head. There’s no I in “team” and though there was a nod to Coach K in the beginning, the kitchen felt more like a fractured whole. New addition Sammy Fak’s constant teasing through ‘haunting’ I found funny but annoying, though it gave me pause upon re-examination.
Carmy was haunted by memories of David. Indecision haunted Sydney but it also haunted Carmy. That’s already a lot of heaviness for just the two alone. When you factor in Marcus and Richie being haunted by loneliness and Sugar in her fear of the unknown, I’m very surprised the kitchen didn’t have any truly shit service which made the magic in The Bear’s kitchen not as memorable to me.
Heat
What transforms? Conflict. Hardship. Grief. Using one of the most triumphant and tragic season finales I’d seen in a long time (outdoing season-mate “Fishes” for me) as a springboard, the first episode “Tomorrow” set the tone in one of the most lush fifteen or so minutes I’d seen in a television show in quite some time. Carmy’s crossed a finish line he’s only begun to start moving further for himself. It’s reflective stuff and I’m here for it. Carmy’s journey started with “Non-Negotiables”, which are reflective of a larger picture. Uncle Jimmy (Oliver Platt) does show up here and there as the fire under his ass, but threatening to pull funds didn’t feel weighty enough because they didn’t fail from day one. I wanted to see that uphill battle with all of them.
“THE BEAR” — “Legacy” — Season 3, Episode 7 — Pictured: (l-r) Lionel Boyce as Marcus, Jeremy Allen White as Carmen “Carmy” Berzatto. CR: FX.
Marcus’ storyline seemed more in line with Carmy’s in that it felt more… monastic? Both of them were more into themselves than reaching out to others. However, only Marcus came out inspired in the end with the episode “Violet”. They felt the most like islands. I wanted something to happen at least with Sydney, but now I’m kind of questioning if Carmy’s the only one set up for romance ultimately with Claire. Case in point: Jessica (Sarah Ramos).
I was feeling for Richie this season, I truly was. I think he could have used a big win this season and it didn’t feel like he got any. When the news of Ever shuttering hit during episode five, I was waiting in anticipation for the call to hire Back of House Manager Garrett (Andrew Lopez) and Jessica since The Bear was in desperate need of structure. Even though I seem to have a penchant for shipping more than UPS, you cannot tell me there wasn’t something between Richie and Jessica in “Forks”. But we don’t get that. We get Richie grappling with Frank’s future permanent presence in the family. That was his trial by fire it seems more than his actual job, which I would have liked to have seen more of. Instead of a montage of dinner services of things that weren’t going right, maybe focus a bit on more that did. That’s the one thing that struck me. For such a warzone as the kitchen became this season, I’m surprised more people didn’t want to deal with the elephant in the room that was Carmy’s Commandments.
“THE BEAR” — “Children” — Season 3, Episode 5 — Pictured: Oliver Platt as Uncle Jimmy. CR: FX.
While I was grateful whenever Edwin Lee Gibson was on the screen as Ebraheim, his struggle seemed like more of an asterisk. Along with Gary (Corey Hendrix) who was sent for sommelier school, their stories peaked in the doorway from time to time, which made me wonder if they were super necessary. de, the only inspiration I truly remember was Marcus creating a new dish based around a flower his mother loved.
“THE BEAR” — “Violet” — Season 3, Episode 4 — Pictured: Ayo Edebiri as Sydney Adamu. CR: FX.
I’m all for Sydney juggling several problems that seem manageable so the weight is more on Carmy this season and I’m all for Sydney wanting her independence, but in the end, I would have rather that was scrapped or spent less time on and more time with a juicier bit of drama, Ever CDC Adam Shapiro proposing a business partnership that’s too good to pass up. Sydney’s loyalties to Carmy I never questioned, but we don’t get the confrontation I was hoping for. I was praying by the finale titled “Forever” we’d get one hell of a showdown because of Sydney’s silence on Shapiro. That would have been a banger of a cliffhanger.
The title card caught me off guard, but it also gave me my final thought. This season felt like an unfinished piece of meat that was bagged and headed for sous vide. Even the confrontation between Carmy and former torturer David seems anti-climactic… but maybe that’s the point. Though seeming incomplete, everything seems seasoned and prepped for season four. Things take time so this could be all by design. Nothing seems certain… but that’s certainly closer to reality. I just the reality of this season had a bit more bite.
Last week, on The Acolyte, Sol finally gets around to telling his side of the Osha and Mae flashback we saw in “Destiny.” This week, on The Acolyte, we watch an episode written by Charmaine DeGraté and Jen Richards and “Destiny” co-writer Jasmyne Flournoy and directed by “Destiny” director Kogonada. I phrase it that way because there’s no way we’re seeing the actual story Sol is telling to Mae, since there are a couple of scenes not from his perspective. It’s a narrative conceit you have to go with, and I do think it’s a clever idea in theory to revisit many of those scenes from a new perspective.
In practice, however, it frequently amounts to little more than new camera angles and underwhelming revelations.
So we’re on Brendok sixteen years earlier again, and we find Jedi Master Indara (Carrie-Ann Moss); her Padawan, Torbin (Dean-Charles Chapman); Wookiee Jedi Kelnacca (Joonas Suatamo); and Padawan-less Jedi Master Sol (Lee Jung-jae) surveying this thriving planet, which was once catalogued as lifeless a hundred years ago. It turns out they’re looking for a vergence, which is, as Indara helpfully explains to Torbin, “a concentration of Force energy centered around a location.” Um, sure. Well, this explains what they were doing on the planet in the first place! Wow, this episode is giving us answers already! Apparently a vergence can create life, so this is a very noble mission the Jedi are on.
During his search, Sol stumbles across Osha (Lauren Brady) and Mae (Lea Brady) messing around with the Force, which shocks Sol not only because this is the first sign of human life on the planet but also because they’re Force-sensitive humans! Yet there’s a voyeuristic quality to this scene that makes Sol come off very creepy, and it’s hard to shake that feeling for the rest of the episode as Sol continues to make bad, baffling choices throughout the episode.
Anyway, the next few minutes are just scenes we saw in “Destiny” except it turns out Sol was creepily watching from the shadows the whole time. This is supposed to help us understand Sol, except it only confuses me. He sees Mother Koril (Margarita Levieva) training Mae and Osha, and while she does have a hint of aggression in her voice, it doesn’t seem out of the ordinary for trying to teach your students how to defend themselves against attacks in the real world. Sol, however, runs back to Indara completely freaked out by what he’s seen, and he’s frankly pretty prejudiced against witches! He assumes that whatever ceremony they have planned for the girls must be dangerous, and he’s determined to save them.
(Oh, as someone who recently watched all of Star Wars: The Clone Wars, I got very excited when Torbin referred to them as Night Sisters. I love the Night Sisters! I was hoping we’d get live-action Night Sisters!)
In any case, it’s very hard to understand what’s got Sol so riled up. Is he concerned about Mae and Osha because they’re girls or because they’re potential Jedi or because they’re potential Jedi girls? He leaps to a huge conclusion that the girls are being mistreated, and perhaps it’s hard for me to grasp his reaction because I have more of the story than he does, but it’s extremely frustrating to see this strange obsession form. He acts like someone who just discovered child trafficking exists. Sol could be the star of the next Angel Studios movie.
Anyway, then about half the episode goes by showing us scenes we already saw except with bonus features like actually seeing Mother Aniseya (Jodie Turner-Smith) inside Torbin’s mind and forcing him to kneel. This is one of the most visually engaging scenes in the episode with its 360° camera pan and intentionally disorienting editing, but I didn’t really see the point of it. Ostensibly, it’s there to emphasize how much Torbin wants to go home and explain why later in the episode he decides to go kidnap Mae and Osha, but like so much of this episode, it’s not actually effective at selling any character’s motivations.
The saving grace of this episode is Indara, really. Not only because Carrie-Anne Moss brings a natural Trinity gravitas to the character but also because she’s a constant voice of reason challenging Sol’s unhealthy emotional attachment to Osha. She even calls him out on his witch bigotry, pointing out that Mae’s “dark magic” mark is a cultural mark and doesn’t mean she’s the Bad Twin. Obviously when the series opened by killing her off, I knew that couldn’t actually be all that we saw of her, but I hope that if the series continues, they find more ways to use her. Why not revisit this same flashback from her perspective? Recycle all this footage! It’s economical!
We already knew that the Jedi wanted to take Osha and Mae, so it is somewhat interesting to be privy to all the discussions they were having about the kids and attempt to understand why things went down the way they did. The Jedi Council is none too pleased about all of this, so they don’t sanction anything. I wonder if Indara told them that Mother Aniseya’s philosophy of leadership, per Mae, is “Everyone must walk through fear. Everyone must be sacrificed to fulfill their destiny.” Now that’s the first time I believe that these kids might actually be in danger! Get them off this planet!
The most shocking revelation regarding Mae and Osha, however, is that their M-counts are extremely high—as someone who is currently watching The Bad Batch, I got very excited about this—and their symbionts are exactly the same? Their what now? I am not enough of a Star Wars nerd to know what the heck symbionts have to do with the Force, but the gist of the matter is it means Mae and Osha are not identical twins—they’re literally the same person split into two consciousnesses. Now, that’s a fascinating avenue to explore, but it also makes Sol look even worse for continuing to put all his energy into saving Osha specifically when he knows that Mae isn’t just her sister, she is her.
As I mentioned earlier, Torbin apparently acts on his psychic suggestion and hops on a speeder to get Osha and Mae so he can go home, and Sol is eager to help. And the climax of the episode does contain most of its best scenes, even if they all tend to have problems.
I am not including the scene where we see Mae’s terrified reaction to her simple fire burning out of control because nobody actually believed that Mae set fire to her home on purpose, right?
I am including the scene where Mae, in her terror, runs out to the courtyard where Sol and Torbin are confronting Mother Aniseya and Mother Koril, and Sol… addresses her as Osha? He reaches out a hand to stop her and says, “Osha!” Which implies that he thinks Mae is Osha. Osha, to whom he has an unhealthy emotional attachment. Osha, with whom he just psychically connected to a few minutes ago. He’s spent the whole episode obsessed with Osha, and now he can’t tell that the girl running up to them is not Osha?
And then, for no apparent reason that I can tell, Mae’s arrival inspires Torbin to saber up, Koril to prepare for attack, and Aniseya to disintegrate into black smoke and move toward Mae because of… reasons? And so Sol fucking stabs her smoke form with a lightsaber, killing her right in front of Mae? I have no idea what is going on here and why. The fact that Mae sees Sol killing her mother at least explains her feelings toward Sol and the Jedi in general, but this all feels very contrived and clumsily staged.
Thankfully, however, it’s followed by one of the best action sequences of the series, as Torbin turns out to be pretty adept with that lightsaber, deflecting arrows with ease, while Sol attempts pacificism in response to Koril’s furious attacks, which eventually end in her disintegrating into black smoke and flying away, never to be seen again. Oh, she’s probably Qimir’s master, right? Who else could it be? She has every reason to send him on a mission to kill Jedi, though why she couldn’t just directly reach out to Mae is beyond me.
But the action gets even more intense once the witches somehow take control of Kelnacca and force him to attack Sol and Torbin, and this rules. You don’t see a Wookiee Jedi in a lightsaber battle every day, folks, and the fight choreography is fast and furious. Torbin barely survives, and Sol does a flying leap over Kelnacca’s lightsaber swing. AWESOME.
And then Indara arrives in the nick of time to use her Force powers to sever the connection between the witches and Kelnacca’s mind, and they all collapse. And die? It’s very unclear what is happening here, yet again, as the show has not done any real work establishing how the magic works and what the consequences are. So if Indara really did kill Mae’s entire family, it sure makes sense that Mae killed her first. But something this important should not be staged so confusingly!
This show doesn’t care because it also decides to confusingly stage the scene in which Mae and Osha find each other on a collapsing bridge and Mae informs Osha that their mother is dead without providing any additional details. We see this scene with Osha on the left and Mae on the right, but when Sol arrives, the scenes flips to show his perspective, where Mae is on the left and Osha is on the right. And then the editing cuts back and forth between the two perspectives as everything is exploding and they call each other’s names, so it’s hard to tell which is which in the chaos. Sol apparently isn’t strong enough to save them both, so he makes the titular choice to save Osha… I think?! I honestly had to watch the scene two or three times to confirm, but I couldn’t. I only knew it was Osha because obviously he would save Osha. Yet again, the impact of a potentially powerful moment was diluted because of a lack of clarity on what is happening where and why.
So that’s the true-ish story of what happened on Brendok sixteen years earlier, but Indara decides that the best course of action is to tell Osha and the Jedi Council that Mae burned down the witches’ fortress and everything was lost. It’s pat, it’s easy, it can’t be contradicted by anyone since they think Mae is dead along with all the witches. I like how the show has not been painting the Jedi in the best light, and this even puts a stain on Indara, who seemed like the best of them.
As with so much of the show, this episode had some solid ideas, but the execution left a lot to be desired. There’s a lot of going through the motions and characters acting for the sake of the plot, and it’s not clear about how it’s recontextualizing what we thought we knew. It’s just a mess, and also I really don’t like Sol now! He’s stubborn and he has no sense, and I could see him turning to the Dark Side very easily. Is that where they’re going with this? I hope the finale is more effective at making whatever statement they’ve been trying to make here.
The ending of Episode 4 of this season of House of the Dragon, “The Red Dragon and the Gold”, gave us the dragon-on-dragon (on-dragon) action I’ve been looking forward to all season. This has the most impressive dragon choreography I’ve seen, either in this show or in Game of Thrones.
Oh, and the build-up to this was equally exciting. Palace intrigue, battle strategy, feints, family secrets coming out, witches… This was top notch Game of Thronesing all around.
The red dragon of the title refers to Meleys, the mount of Rhaenys, the Queen That Never Was and wife of the Sea Snake, Corlys. The gold? That would by Sunfyre, the mount of King Aegon the Second. What? After all of the machinations last week to keep the young king safe at King’s Landing, he just up and heads off to battle? Why, yes. Have we mentioned lately that Aegon is a rather impetuous brat?
The show has spent a lot of time on the impetuousness of youth, with Rhaenyra flat out stating that the young men are eager to go to war to prove themselves, while she is making desperate attempts with Alicent to stop it before the slaughter gets out of hand. But, alas, that time has passed. Rhaenyra is forced to admit as much to her council when she returns from her secret trip. Alicent realizes that even if Aegon got put on the throne by mistake, it doesn’t matter. He’s now the king, and short of regicide, there is no real way to remove him. The die has been cast, and the armies are on the move. The women of Westeros tried, but the blood of the youth beats too strongly.
It’s a contrast to the way the older generation handles things. Rhaenys tracks down the sailor, Alyn, who saved her husband from drowning to thank him. She comments that his mother must have been very beautiful, right when Corlys shoos him away. In their conversation, it’s obvious that Rhaenys knows that Alyn is the bastard son of Corlys. However, unlike Caitlin Stark, she doesn’t seem upset by this. Rather, she hints that he should make Alyn the heir to the oceans. After all, he was fretting about his options last week.
In the war, Cole and Aemond are implementing their battle plan, namely, to scoop up all the small castles in the Riverlands, defeat all the small houses that support Rhaenyra, and then assimilate their troops while killing those that refuse to support Aegon. It’s very effective! From the point of view of your average spear-carrying farmer, it doesn’t really matter who is in charge. Your life expectancy isn’t going to be very long in Westeros; does it really matter which lord is taxing you and taking your sheep? They have now amassed a large army and are heading to Rook’s Rest.
Aegon is perplexed. Not Harrenhall? Harrenhall is the key to the Riverlands! And Daemon just strolled in and claimed it! Larys, the new Master of Whispers, shrugs it off. He still controls all of the coin from Harrenhall, and the place is in such decay that it would take Daemon months to do anything with it. Let him get stuck there, while Cole’s armies take Rook’s Rest, a small castle across the bay from Dragonstone. Once captured, Aegon’s forces will have effectively isolated Rhaenyra from and land based allies.
It’s actually a very smart strategy, familiar to anyone who’s played Risk. Cut off your enemy’s base of support and isolate them. It should be quite familiar to those in King’s Landing, since Rhaenyra’s blockades on the sea are starting to cause inflation and shortages. But Aegon cannot deal with the fact that his council went and did war without him. Aemond taunts him in High Valerian. Is it not a good plan? Is there something Your Grace would like to change? Besides, “You had more important matters to attend to. Such as holding court, choosing your sobriquet, and naming imbecilic lickspittles to our Kingsguard.” You be king, leave the important stuff to us. Aegon tries to say something back, but can only muster a weak “Can I have to…make a… war?” (C’mon, Aegon, how can you command a dragon with Valerian that bad? That’s like “donde esta la biblioteca” level Valerian.)
Alicent isn’t any more sympathetic to him. She finds him pouting in his room, complaining that the mean small council doesn’t listen to his cool ideas. Alicent is nursing a sore stomach after the Maester brewed her a pot of the Plan B moon tea. (Which, smart. We don’t need Cole’s bastard children running around and complicating the line of succession.) She has no time for his whining. Did you think that putting the crown an your head automatically makes you wise? Otto and I have been planning for you to take the throne for years. I ruled in your father’s stead while he was sick! Otto is the best statesman in the Seven Kingdoms! Yet you banished him and sidelined me! You should be begging us for advice! (I like cranky Alicent! More of her!) When he starts to complain about Aemond and Cole going to war without him, she shuts him down. The strategy is fine, and sometimes the best thing a king can do is nothing.
Which is not the best thing to tell Aegon. It’s often difficult to remember that he is the older brother, given how much more mature Aemond is and how he towers over him. The tables have turned since their childhood, when Aegon would tease Aemond about his dragon egg being a dud and giving him a winged pig to ride. Now, Aemond is massive and rides Vhagar, the largest dragon in Westeros, and Aegon is the one insecure in his role. After getting some liquid courage, he decides that he’ll strap on Aegon the Conqueror’s armor and fly off to Rook’s Rest on Sunfyre to join the battle. And that is — of course — a spectacularly bad idea. Aegon is a dilettante who has never fought in a battle before, and is going to be a tempting target for everyone on the Black side.
Meanwhile, at Harrenhall, things are going just as badly for Daemon as Larys predicted. He’s having a hard time getting his bannermen in line, since the lord of the Riverlands is in a coma and his heir will not act against his wishes. He can’t get any sleep in the drafty, damp castle, as he keeps getting interrupted by rather vivid nightmares featuring people from his past. Young Rhaenyra is there, taunting him about how he wants the crown she wears; his late wife Laena appears to be pouring wine at the council table. He suspects the witch Alys River, a Harrenhall bastard, has something to do with it, but happily drinks the sleeping draught she gives him. (Wow, the men on this show are dumb. I don’t pretend that I would survive 30 minutes in Westeros, but even I know not to drink potions from strange witch women.)
The attack on Rook’s Rest starts strong. Cole’s army outnumbers the men in the keep and they lay siege. From across the bay, the council, and especially Jacaerys, urge Rhaenyra to send a dragon to support them. Jace wants to go himself, but Rhaenyra again refuses. She will go instead. And again, it’s a real dumb idea to put your leader — and the prize target — on the front lines of a battle. Fortunately, Rhaenyra can be reasoned with. Rhaenys will go on her dragon, Meleys.
Frustrated, Jace goes to see Rhaenyra, who explains something to him. The reason she is fighting for the Iron Throne is not merely because she was promised it. No, it is because of what her father Viserys told her. She has to unite the realm because of what the dream of Aegon foretold. She then proceeds to share the Song of Ice and Fire with Jacaerys, passing down the charge to the next in line.
Across the bay, Rhaenys and Meleys seem to have turned the tide. Cole’s soldiers run in terror from the dragon. However, this was part of the plan. Cole signals to Aemond, who is hiding in the woods on Vhagar, ready to attack.
That is, until he sees Aegon fly over on Sunfyre and head straight towards Rhaenys.
The fool is going to ruin everything, but rather than help him, Aemond is content to let Aegon go fight.
It goes about as well as you’d expect. Aegon is an inexperienced rider on a small dragon, Rhaenys is a master, and Meleys scratches and wounds Sunfyre. It’s only then that Aemond joins the fray, with the giant Vhagar lumbering out of the forest like a dinosaur in Jurassic Park. It’s a truly terrifying sight, and Aegon is happy to get the help since he’s getting beaten by Rhaenys.
That is until Aemond dracaryses him. Vhagar unleashes flame on both dragons, sending the king and Sunfyre crashing to the ground, while Rhaenys flies away.
Note to Aegon: do not tease Aemond, Ever. Especially about his choice of bedmates. The boy can hold a grudge. You got in the way of his battle plans, and he took the opportunity to take you out.
Rhaenys manages to wound Vhagar, sending him crashing to the ground. (And the sight of Vhagar stomping on Targaryen soldiers just sums up what a raw deal the small folk get in Westeros.) But, as she swoops over Rook’s Rest, Vhagar comes up from underneath and chomps Meleys by the neck, practically decapitating the dragon. Rhaenys and Meleys plummet to the earth. The Queen That Never Was is no more.
And Aegon isn’t doing much better. He’s clinging to life, with the badly injured Sunfyre curled around the broken king.
This was one of the strongest episodes of the series. We had our first major death of the season with Rhaenys. Aegon is near death, and Sunfyre isn’t doing so well either. Dragonstone has been cut off from the mainland which means that Rhaenyra is going to have to do something desperate, and now she has lost her closest adviser in Rhaenys. The show was already very good, but now has kicked into high gear.
I remember, way back in August 2022 when season one began, I had my doubts about this show. The pilot doubled down on the nudity and gore and hadn’t yet built up the characters. Well, I think it’s safe to say that the best episodes of House of the Dragon can match up with the best of Game of Thrones, which is an achievement. Great job, let’s keep our foot on the pedal.
Rating: 4.5 out of 5
Who’s The Worst? Well, it takes a special sort of animosity to attack and nearly kill your own brother with a dragon, so give it up for Aemond.
Kill lives up to its title and then some, delivering a practically relentless spectacle of brutal, bloody, bone-crunching violence. I breathed a sigh of relief when the credits rolled and my heart rate was allowed to go back down to normal. Make no mistake, Kill is a visceral, emotionally draining watch that’s a real treat for action fans but not for the faint of heart.
Writer-director Nikhil Nagesh Bhat knows what he’s doing from start to finish, taking the audience on a rollercoaster ride of rabid retribution. Towards the end of this film, I saw Our Hero kill a man in a way I had somehow never seen an action hero kill anyone before, a way that had me uncontrollably exclaiming, “Oh my God! Oh my God!” and putting my hand to my forehead in disbelief at what I was seeing.
But the movie begins as a romance! We’re introduced to army commandos Amrit and Viresh as they return from an unspecified mission, and Amrit discovers that his girlfriend, Tulika, has become engaged to someone else per her father’s wishes. He immediately goes to whisk her away, but she’s afraid to defy her powerful father. This is not an uncommon plot in Bollywood films, but Bhat resists saccharine sentimentality in favor of a more genuine cuteness. Thanks to Lakshya’s and Tanya Maniktala’s endearing performances, we very quickly root for this lovey-dovey couple.
Similarly, we also buy the camaraderie between Amrit and Viresh (Abhishek Chauhan), whom the subtitles like to address as “bro” over and over to emphasize that they’re bros even though Amrit is simply calling him by his name, affectionately. It’s important to establish who Amrit cares about—and who they care about—because he’s about to take the worst train ride of his life.
Amrit simply wants to take a big romantic swing as his girlfriend travels to Delhi with her family to see her betrothed. Unbeknownst to him but known to us, a band of thieves is planning to rob this train. Bhat draws out the tension before the robbery goes into action, and once it does, Amrit and Viresh spring into action to protect their fellow passengers. They’re soldiers! It’s their duty! And they’re good at violence. They fight well as a two-man army, and the action scenes are pretty cool, though they don’t seem worthy of the hype the film has been getting.
In the early scenes of the film, I made a stray observation that I hadn’t seen the title yet, but I forgot it once I got absorbed in what was going on. I don’t know that anything can possibly top Hundreds of Beavers for Best Late Title Card Drop of 2024, but Kill makes a very strong play for that award because goddamn. When Bhat deploys that title card, it’s more than the name of the movie, it’s a searing command, a four-letter encapsulation of what you want to see Amrit do a LOT for the rest of the movie, and DO IT HE DOES.
Because it turns out you weren’t even watching the movie. You were watching the prologue to the movie. Suddenly the action goes from 8 to 28 as Amrit transforms from badass soldier to DEMON FROM HELL. (I described him like that in my head even before I got to the part where HE DISPLAYED HIS KILLS LIKE JASON FUCKING VOORHEES.)
Indian films are designed to have intervals to provide a break in the narrative, and when well executed, they can deliver a uniquely thrilling experience that Western cinema cannot offer. I always love to see how a film will choose to go out on its interval card, after which the film is meant to truly have an interval so the audience can process and reflect and get re-energized for the second half of the film, which usually goes in a new direction but carries over all of the emotional weight of the first half. In Kill, this late title card drop replicates the interval but provides absolutely no break as it barrels forward into murderous mayhem, fueled by the emotional weight of the first half. It’s a brilliant subversion of the traditional narrative structure.
For the rest of the film, Bhat channels Korean revenge thrillers and Indonesian action movies as Amrit goes on an all-out rampage on this train, and my heart didn’t stop pounding for an hour. Action directors Se-yeong Oh—who’s worked on several Park Chan-wook movies including the train-set Snowpiercer—and Parvez Sheikh, who have choreographed the ludicrously entertaining action in War and Tiger 3, dial up the intensity, giving Lakshya, the rest of the cast, and the stunt team a variety of close-quarters combat situations that force them to fight with knives, fire extinguishers, toilets, knives, curtains, fists, knives, and knives. Did I say knives? This is a very stabby movie. And Amrit loves shoving things into people’s mouths, which filled me with glee every time. There’s also a whole lot of bashing. On both sides, to be clear! Amrit gets the shit kicked out of him in this movie; he is no invincible action hero.
Multiple times, this movie made me cringe because the violence was so wonderfully excessive. Bhat may twist the knife emotionally, but Amrit does it literally. Cinematographer Rafey Mehmood shoots these fights very claustrophobically, emphasizing how very little space they have to maneuver, and despite his name, editor Shivkumar V. Panicker cuts them precisely, choosing among a variety of angles to keep us forced in tight confines while showing us each blow. While it would have been impressive if they had been able to do longer takes—The Raid 2 managed fluid camera movement in the prison bathroom fight by building a bathroom set with removable walls, for instance—I appreciated what they could do with the physical limitations of shooting in that space, and the editing certainly doesn’t diminish the impact of the violence.
On the other hand, I found the geography of the train cars confusing. Even though the film clearly explains the four specific train cars the action takes place in and ensures you can see the designation of the car in the background, I started to lose track of who was in which car even though I thought I had a handle of what order the cars were in and when people moved from car to car. Some people make their way on top of the train, but I could swear people were just teleporting to different cars at times.
It may have been an intentional choice to cast similar-looking actors for the patriarchs of the bandits and Tulika’s family and then dress them similarly, but it made it hard to immediately know what car we were in, especially since they were usually on opposite sides of the train. Thankfully, that confusion didn’t lead to any critical issues in understanding what was happening since the action moved swiftly enough that no one stayed in the same place for too long.
What truly sets Kill apart from so many other action movies beyond its train setting and ultraviolence is how it treats its antagonists. In most action movies, the action hero mows down nameless henchmen, and we feel nothing about their deaths. Here, however, the fortysomething thieves aboard this train are all FAMILY. That’s right, if this were a Fast and Furious movie, they would be the heroes! Except I mean they are literally family, as extended family are much closer in Indian culture than they usually are in American culture, which makes me very curious how the American remake will handle this very important aspect of the film.
Every person Amrit kills is someone’s father, uncle, or brother, and the bandits express genuine anguish over their deaths. There’s an uncomfortable tension in our emotional response since they’re clearly the bad guys…but we feel bad for them? The film certainly revels in the brutality of its violence and wants to entertain the audience. It’s giving us what we want, but it also makes us feel bad for wanting this violence to befall anyone.
When bandit leader Fani (Raghav Juyal, who makes a great sociopath) calls Amrit a rakshasa for saying, “An eye for an eye? Nah, how about ten eyes for an eye,” he makes a valid point, although I’m not sure the film definitively makes a statement condemning him for his actions, wanting to have it both ways, portraying his anger as both righteous and dangerous. It’s hard for us to know how to feel too, since even though a lot more bad guys die than good guys, the casualties on the good side really fucking hurt.
Kill takes the audience on a hell of a journey, and versatile composer Shashwat Sachdev adapts to the shifting tones and moods throughout the film with diverse instrumentation. Whether it’s the soaring orchestra of swoony romance, the pulsating electronic beats and gunshot samples of badass action, or the sweeping strings of moral tragedy, Sachdev’s aural palette complements what’s onscreen beautifully. Bhat and his team have crafted a monstrously good bad time here, and it’s going to be tough to beat for best action movie of the year.
One thing I’ve noticed about the recent Star Wars shows on Disney+ has been the wonkiness of the pacing. It was a problem in The Mandalorian Season 3, it was a major problem in Ahsoka, and it’s rearing its head now in The Acolyte.
Since Episode 3, “Destiny,” when we saw Mae starting the fire that destroyed her coven of space witches, they’ve hinted at the flip side of this story. Jedi were drinking poison rather than talking about it. Kelnacca and Indara both took postings on remote planets to isolate themselves. Qimir all but accused Sol of perfidy by asking what darkness he was hiding. Mae accused Osha of letting the Jedi brainwash the truth out of her. It’s been a constant drip drip drip of hints.
Well, finally, FINALLY, they are going to reveal all! Totally!
Just next week.
Maybe.
The problem here is that when you build up something like this, you really have to deliver the goods. If you’ve spent 6 episodes out of 8 hinting that the Jedi did something terrible, it’d better be on a level of “Anakin slaughtering younglings” terrible. Otherwise, it just feels like a cheat.
So while there was a lot of interesting stuff going on this week, it felt like a lot of filler until we get to those revelations next week. Hopefully.
At the end of last week, Mae engineered a switcheroo, chopping off her braids with a lightsaber to get onto Sol’s ship and leaving an unconscious Osha with the Master. Sol didn’t notice, and I will give him the benefit of the doubt by thinking that he’s too consumed with grief over the loss of his Padawan and his entire team. He even full-on hugs Mae and doesn’t realize it’s a different person.
Qimir, however, knows that it’s Osha, and spirits her off to his secret hideout planet. The planet is technically “unknown,” but it looks a lot like the kind of place that a hermit Luke Skywalker would pick to hide out. (There’s even a cute little aquatic waterfowl that looks a lot like a puffin with a prehensile beak/trunk)
Hello, Build-A-Bear Workshop?
Qimir attempts to entice Mae to the Dark Side (and also, straight up entice her with some skinny dipping). And Qimir isn’t doing a hard Darth Vader/Palpatine pitch; he’s pretty chill about everything. He tells her she can leave — just swim over to his ship. He lets her handle his lightsaber. (No, not like that. Get your minds out of the gutter.) He just wants to practice the Force and have a pupil. (“The power of two,” he says.) The subconscious emotions of fear and anger are more powerful, and the Jedi are afraid of them.
Osha protests that that leads to the Dark Side. Qimir wonders if that is why the Jedi “threw her away.” This is what finally provokes Osha, who ignited his lightsaber and swings it at his head. She finally admits that she didn’t leave the Jedi Order of her own volition — she failed. It seems that Osha also has a great deal of anger inside her; she just carries it better than her sister. Qimir admits he made a “mistake” when he thought Mae was after more than just revenge. It seems that he may have found a better candidate after all. He’s happy to patch up his Mouth of Sauron helmet while she thinks about it. The helmet, by the way, is made of cortosis, a nifty material that is resistant to lightsaber strikes and is also blocks out the senses, like the Jedi training helmets that make you rely on the Force.
Back on the ship, Mae is still subject to her conflicting motivations. She’s about to stab Sol on bridge, but he obliviously storms past her to go reset the communications relays. (The ship is conveniently suffering from power and comms disruptions. Because we have to pause for dramatic reasons, that’s why.) She does a hard reset on Pip before she can rat him out, but Bazil isn’t so easily fooled. And thank goodness. Sol stuns her, and then takes off before the Jedi rescue party can show up.
Why is Sol so eager to avoid the Jedi? Well, with Mae subdued, Sol is going to tell her everything. At the same time, Osha puts on Qimir’s cortosis helmet (and that really sounds like a lost King Crimson album title). She is about to slip into the sensory deprivation state, and be guided by the force, when the credits roll.
So, this is a breather episode, between the hard-driving combat of last week and what promises to be the shocking revelations of next week. But, even taking that into consideration, there wasn’t a lot happening. Once again, Mae is fumbling with her motivations — do you want to kill Sol or not? Do you want your sister back or not? Make up your mind! If there is supposed to be some grand internal struggle, I’m not getting it. She just seems flip and indecisive.
I did think that the tact Qimir takes in his attempt to seduce Osha to the Dark Side was clever. If he had pulled a Vader move, Osha would’ve run away screaming, but now, she’s willing to reopen herself to the force. Sol is about to unburden his soul to Mae. Will this make Mae and Osha switch places? Possibly, but I’d like to think that Osha is stronger than that.
Hopefully next week, in the penultimate episode, we find out what this tragedy was really all about. But, as any Jedi knows, it can be hard to stick the landing.
One constant about Game of Thrones (and House of the Dragon) is how they are very clear about how much life sucks if you aren’t a high born, if you’re one of the people referred to rather condescendingly as the “small folk.” One day, you’re minding your own business, crawling through the muck of the basement of the Red Keep to keep the royals safe from rats, and then suddenly, you’re getting hung off the wall of the palace because some rat catcher of the twenty or so in the employ of the king was involved in his son’s murder. You’re a simple farmer, trying to raise livestock and feed your family, when the crown takes half your flock because the dragons are hungry. You just want to have the child fighting pits closed, and the next thing you know, the Hand of the King is burning your house down.
And the shows have been even clearer how much more of a burden it is if you’re a woman. Even if you are a high-born woman, with all the attendant luxuries and status that entails, you can still suffer many indignities and traumas. Witness the marriage of Sansa Stark to Ramsay Bolton, for one nauseating example. And in House, we have seen from Episode One how the women are disregarded and passed over. The King’s daughter, Rhaenys, was passed over as heir in favor of Viserys. Viserys wanted a male heir so badly, he basically murdered his wife in the birthing bed to get the baby out of her. Viserys wanted his daughter to inherit the throne, but was thwarted by Otto who installed his grandson Aegon. It’s also why so many of the female characters — like Arya and Daenerys — were fan favorites, as they strove to break out of the narrow paths they had been born to. (And also why so many people were furious at how Daenerys’s arc ended, but that is a rant for another time.)
It’s the crux of the episode this week. The women of Westeros are trying their best to guide their families and their kingdoms to a cooler path. It’s tricky, as the men — especially the younger generation — seem set on a path to war.
That determination plays out in miniature in the opening scene, when two small, rival houses in the Riverlands — the Blackwoods and the Brackens — let a dispute over the boundary of grazing lands blow up into a full-blown battle because the Brackens back Aegon and the Blackwoods back Rhaenyra. It starts with a shoving match and ends with a field and stream just choked with dead bodies.
Aegon is overjoyed, since this is the first “official” battle in the war and they won… technically. The losses on both sides were enormous, practically wiping out both houses, but a win’s a win, right?
Alicent can see this is a preview of what’s to come should all-out war come to Westeros, and is roundly ignored. It’s a consistent theme. The women try their best to find a solution, but are sidelined. Alicent doesn’t want her son to fly off to the Riverlands with Criston the Hand, but he’s going to do it anyway because he thinks he’s hot shit in Aegon the Conqueror’s old armor. It’s a stupid idea because, as the council explains, a giant dragon will eliminate the element of stealth that they are counting on to rally their bannermen. It will also be a focal point for his enemies. It’s only when Larys explains this to him (telling him that his mom really wants him to go so she can rule in his place) that he actually listens.
Alicent is realizing she can’t control her children any longer, seeing Aegon eager to sprint into war. And she practically calls Aemond a sociopath. Rhaenyra realized last week that she can no longer trust her uncle-husband (huncle?), Daemon, after he went and had a baby murdered in her name, and her council is urging her to go to war and use their dragons to burn everything. Rhaenys isn’t able to get her husband, Corlys, to pick an heir to be the next Sea Snake. All across the Seven Kingdoms, men are loudly overstepping and ignoring advice.
Men like Daemon, who has flown off to a decaying Harrenhall to claim it for Rhaenyra. He gets little resistance from its steward, Ser Simon Strong (played with aplomb by Sir Simon Russell Beale — a Sir for a Ser as it were), who is quite happy to betray Larys. (Simon found it quite suspicious that Lionel Strong died in a fire, since Harrenhall is so damp, it’s hard to light a torch in the summer.) Men like Aegon, who takes time out from playing at war to go to the brothels and sneer at his brother for lying with the madam. Men like Rhaenyra’s council, who are absolutely chomping at the bit to unleash the dragons.
It all comes to a head when Rhaenyra decides that she needs to talk to Alicent, face to face. She knows Alicent will ignore her ravens (much the same way she ignored hers), so with the help of Mysaria (again, I remain amazed that a good deed didn’t come back to bite someone in Westeros), she sneaks into the Sept disguised as a member of the order, where she can intercept Alicent at her weekly candle lighting and prayers.
Now, it is a huge dramatic contrivance to do this. Even though Mysaria comments that no one pays attention to a women if they aren’t in fancy clothes or wearing make-up, it is still a stretch that no guard would recognize Public Enemy #1 of King’s Landing. But, no matter, the scene is great and dramatically satisfying.
Rhaenyra and Alicent finally have it out. Rhaenyra asks why she stole her throne; Alicent says that she stole nothing — Viserys simply changed his mind, and Rhaenyra has to accept that. It’s when Alicent mentions that Viserys thought that Aegon was “the Prince That Was Promised” that Rhaenyra realizes that her dad was referring to the Song of Ice and Fire, and not to Aegon II, and tells her so. I think on some level, Alicent knows that Rhaenyra is telling the truth, but what of it? What is to be done? Aegon and Criston and Rhaenyra’s court are all determined and eager to start a war, and no amount of apologies can change that now. Aegon is certainly not going to step down because Alicent misheard a dream. Alicent leaves Rhaenyra in the Sept to ponder her next move on the road to war.
There is a lot of tension and build-up this week as the houses plot and scheme. And while it is all great drama, I am also eager to get to the dragon fights. (Yes, I know, war is going to suck for the small folk, but I am paying $9.99 a month for the crappy MAX app, and I would like to see some dragons fight. Stop edging me.) And after this last-ditch attempt at diplomacy has failed, it looks like we will be starting the war in earnest.
Episode Rating: 4 out of 5
Who’s the worst? Aegon is a prat, and I hope he flies boldly into battle and falls off his dragon and lands in a pile of shit. Way to snuff out any sympathy I had for you last week, when you were crying over the death of your son.
After a week which had a rather aimless race through the woods, we got the big reveal of the Master, and some extremely fun lightsaber battles.
Osha wakes up to find a dead Jedi next to her, and the sounds of battle across the field. Through the trees, she sees the flicker of the red blade of the Master make quick work of the Jedi. In one EXTREMELY COOL move, he impales a Jedi on his lightsaber and then Force pulls ANOTHER Jedi onto the blade. He head butts lightsabers with his helmet, which causes them to short out. The Jedi seem badly outmatched, even though they outnumber him 10 to 1. As Yord gasps while getting Osha away from the fight, “He doesn’t obey the rules of combat!” (Oh my! Where are my Jedi pearls to clutch?)
Mae sees the chaos outside and decides to get away before the Master unleashes his wrath on her. But before she can leave, Jecki enters Kelnacca’s Hut to arrest her. Mae fights her off and tries to flee. Wait, wasn’t Mae going to surrender herself last week? Why is she running now? Is the threat of her Master enough to make her change plans again? Jecki, ever the eager student, is relentless and pursues her.
While they fight, Jedi Master Sol takes on the dark attacker. So far, he’s the only one who can put up any resistance. (That doesn’t speak well to your abilities as a trainer, BTW.) That is, until the Master disappears during the fight, reappearing by Jecki and Mae. He scoffs at Mae, telling her she could learn this Padawan. After all, she knows how to be loyal. Jecki tries to fight off the Master, and she does very well! (Apparently, she was the only one to pay attention in Sol’s lightsaber classes.) But, the Master is too much for her, and after some very impressive lightsabering, he kills her.
As Yord is leading Osha away, she appears to hear Mae’s cry for help in her mind. Even though Yord is insistent, and following Sol’s direct order to get her out of there, she has to turn back. As they pass through the trees full of hungry, giant umbramoths, Osha has an idea. She tells Yord to ignite his saber to get the moths to follow them.
Sol has caught up to the Master and re-engages. He whacks at the Master with his saber until the helmet breaks off, revealing…
Qimir!
Now, there was a lot of speculation online after last week that Qimir was the Master. After all, Qimir was on the planet and close enough to float into Kelnacca’s clearing. And they were all correct.
Qimir taunts him, saying that he is what the Jedi would label a Sith. He blames Sol for Jecki’s death, saying “you brought her here.” Qimir wants freedom. Freedom to wield his power how he likes without having to answer to the Jedi and their rules. As he says, if you don’t believe in rules, how can you break them? It’s just then that Yord and Osha come back to the clearing. Yord leaps in to fight and promptly gets his neck snapped by Qimir.
Enraged, Sol starts to pummel Qimir, and he is about to slice off Qimir’s head with his saber, when Osha screams at him to stop. Osha still believes in the Jedi, believes that they don’t kill unarmed or defenseless people, even if that person just murdered ten Jedi. (Osha, come on. This would save us so much hassle.) Sol thinks he’s past saving. “His mind is twisted by darkness!” “At least I’ve accepted my darkness,” retorts Qimir. “What have you done with yours?”
Osha wonders what he means by that, and starts to question Sol about what he’s hiding. It’s just about then that the umbramoths show up. Osha turns on Pip’s flashlight and sticks him to the back or the Master. The moths descend on Qimir, and in the chaos, Mae and Osha escape.
Once safely away, the twins finally have their reunion. But, like most things with family, it doesn’t really go like they’d hoped. Osha blames Mae for the fire that killed their family, plus the Jedi she killed. Mae is insistent that Osha has been brainwashed by the Jedi, and that they destroyed everything. And I would really like for Mae to get more into that, but she instead knocks out Osha. Mae then slices off her braids with a lightsaber, and it’s pretty clear what her next step is going to be.
“Osha” then finds Sol, and heads back to the ship with him. Sol, who got injured in his fight, doesn’t think anything is amiss. However, Bazil (Yay, Bazil’s back! And unharmed!) found Pip, and brought him back to the ship. He smells Pip, then smells after “Osha,” and he knows something is wrong.
This leaves Osha lying in the forest as Qimir approaches. Nice work, Mae. I really believe you when you say how deeply you care about your sister…
Now while the action was fantastic (I am seriously going to put a pre-order down for any Sideshow collectible that has the Master shishkebob-ing two Jedi at once), I am still confused by Mae and her whipsawing motivations. One minute she’s going to surrender to the Jedi, the next she’s plotting to kill Sol. One minute she has renounced the Master and his dark ways, the next she’s pledging fealty. One minute she’s overjoyed to see Osha, the next she’s knocking her unconscious and leaving her with the Master to fend for herself. And yes, each shift is spurred by a plot development, but there’s so little hesitation on her part.
Still, the action was really good. And unlike a few recent Star Wars shows I can mention (*cough,* Obi-Wan, *cough*) the lightsabers are once again deadly. (Remember when the Grand Inquisitor got disemboweled by a lightsaber, only to be back in three episodes? Change your batteries!) And to its credit, the show is not afraid to kill anyone. I grumped about Carrie-Anne Moss and the Wookiee getting killed before they could show off their Jedi skills, but this show also had no mercy for sweet young Jecki and Yord.
So, it’s a welcome improvement after last week. And I am still hoping we learn about what dark secret Sol is hiding, and whether or not he figures out that it’s Mae in his ship and not Osha. (Bazil! Help him!)
I know many people who have never taken to Game of Thrones (and by extension, House of the Dragon) because the story is too violent, too amoral, and too much abuse. And, fair. There’s an awful lot of graphic violence and sexual assault in these shows, and if that’s not what you want to see, I am not going to convince you otherwise.
However, we can all agree that (with a few exceptions) the acting has been fantastic throughout. The Emmys are not always the best barometer of Quality TV, but, notably, GoT and HotD have been nominated for scores of acting awards. The scripts give them lots of opportunities to layer their characters with motivation and humanity, often opposing each other.
Like this week. The Hightower-Targaryens are dealing with the immediate aftermath of the assassination of poor little Jaehaerys, Teen King Aegon II is in a rage, smashing up his dad’s hand-carved model of King’s Landing. (C’mon man! Your dad worked really hard on that! Or rather, he told people to make it and they worked really hard on that.) He screams that he declares war, much the same way that Michael Scott declared bankruptcy.
I DECLARE WAR!!
There is a performative aspect to this. Yes, I am sure he is devastated that his son and heir is dead, but the smashing and shouting comes across as something he thinks he has to do. Otto, the Hand, tries to channel that into their war efforts. He wants to have a funeral procession through the streets of King’s Landing, with the grieving mother and the dowager queen in the wagon behind, while a crier in front proclaims this death to be the work of Rhaenyra the Cruel. It’s some rather heavy-handed propaganda, and – to their credit – neither Alicent nor Aegon seem to be enthused about it. However, Otto is very convincing and the rest of the small council sees the value in letting the realm know what a monster the pretender to the throne is. So, Alicent and Haelena put on their black veils and get on the wagon. Not Aegon, of course. That would make him look weak. Larys caught the guard who helped to kill the child while trying to flee the keep, and Aegon is eager to interrogate him.
Poor Haelaena is forced to ride behind the stitched-up body of her dead son, and when the procession gets stuck in a rut, she has a panic attack as the crowd offers sympathies. There are so many layers here. I don’t think we’ve talked enough about what a raw deal Haelaena has gotten. Married off to her brother, mainly because it’s an echo of what Aegon the Conqueror did ages ago, always treated as weak and daft, never allowed to have any agency, and then forced to go all Sophie’s Choice on her kids while Aegon drank the night away in the throne room, she’s not had an easy time of it.
Word has reached Dragonstone, and Rhaenyra is appalled that anyone could think she would order the murder of an infant. Do you hear me, APPALLED! She would never! Well, say her small council, you were here the other day saying how you want Aemond dead… Well, sure, but that’s totally different. Aemond is an adult (kind of) who is directly responsible for the death of her son. Jaehaerys was a baby! And who would order the killing of a baby?
Meanwhile, Daemon is doing his very best to look nonchalant. If he had a cell phone, he’d be pretending to be engrossed in an email.
After the meeting, Rhaenyra and Daemon have it out. Sure, he sent comically named assassins into the Red Keep, but he was very clear that they kill Aemond. It’s not his fault they went freelancing! Rhaenyra is furious. His antics have weakened her claim on the throne, and no matter how many ravens she sends out denying it, she’ll lose some armies at a time when they desperately need them. This leads to a fight between them that vents so many resentments the two characters have. Rhaenyra can no longer trust him, and wonders if he ever cared for her or if she was just a tool to get to the throne that Viserys “cheated” him out of. (Remember, before Visrerys named Rhaenyra his heir, Daemon was the next in line.) Daemon retorts that he wonders if Rhaenyra ever thought herself qualified, or if she was just a tool that Viserys used to deny him his birthright. This is an argument between two people who have known each other for decades and know exactly which buttons to push. Daemon storms away, and flies off on Caraxes.
Daemon isn’t the only one with a crazy plan. Criston Cole, who is embarrassed that he was off having sex with Alicent instead of, you know, doing some Kingsguarding, takes his frustrations out on Ser Arryk. He berates Arryk for his muddy cloak, which he got by trying to push the funeral coach out of the mud. Arryk is just trying to have his breakfast when Cole decides to be a big, swinging dick, asking him where he was last night. Why, with the king in the throne room while he was entertaining guests, where were you? This annoys Cole, so he starts to question Arryk’s loyalty. If you recall, Arryk has a twin brother, Erryk. Erryk remained loyal to Rhaenyra, while Arryk stayed with Aegon, and now Cole is insinuating that he might be a traitor like his brother. To prove otherwise, he is to go off to Dragonstone, sneak in disguised as his twin, and kill Rhaenyra. You know, super easy. Barely an inconvenience.
Criston cements his reputation as a complete ass this week. It’s not enough to needlessly cast blame on Arryk, he sends him off on a suicide mission where he’ll have to face his estranged brother. And all because he blames himself. As Alicent says earlier, it looks like he’s desperate to unburden himself. (After all, she’s seen that look back when he ran to her to confess his dalliances with Rhaenyra.)
Aemond, the target of the assassination, was off at the brothel. (Because of course, it’s HBO. They are contractually obligated to have some nudity.) And surprisingly, it’s very tender. Aemond is naked, curled up in the arms of the madam, and it appears almost maternal as if Aemond is looking for the affection he never found at home. The madam reminds him that he will have his vengeance, but remember, it’s always the small folk like her that get the short end of it in war.
Small folk like the rat catchers. Larys and Aegon got the guard (whose name was Blood. Blood and Cheese. Oh GRRM…) to confess that his accomplice was one of the King’s ratcatchers, only he didn’t know his real name. No problem. Aegon has all the ratcatchers killed and hung on the walls of the Keep as a warning. Otto is furious at this. All the townspeople who were offering Haelaena their heartfelt condolences are now going to be terrified of the crown. When Aegon tells him of Criston’s cunning plan to have Arryk swap places with Erryk, Otto calls it a prank. Otto has spent decades scheming to get Aegon on the throne, and now the little jerk is going to screw it all up with his impetuousness. Not happy with these insults, Aegon fires him as Hand and appoints Ser Criston as the new one. (Oh, this will go great.)
The “prank” of a plan comes surprisingly close to working. Arryk strolls into Dragonstone, completely fooling the guards, and heads to Rhaenyra’s chambers. If not for Myseria spotting him on the way to a ship out of town, he might have succeeded. (Rhaenyra honored the bargain that Daemon made last week – her freedom in exchange for information about guards at the Red Keep who would let him in. A good deed pays off for once in Westeros! Amazing!) This leads to an impressive fight, where Erryk keeps Arryk from killing Rhaenyra, ultimately running a sword through him. And he is so distraught that he ends it by killing himself. Even after renouncing Aegon, he could never renounce his twin. The twins are played by actual twin brothers – Luke and Elliott Tittensor. (See, you don’t need CGI for everything!)
There are so many wonderfully human moments in this episode, and most of them are from characters trying to balance their duties with their humanity. Jacerys volunteers to ride his dragon over to King’s Landing to spy on the King’s movements, and Rhaenyra pointedly denies him, choosing instead to send his betrothed, Baela. They need to keep watch on the Hightowers, but she cannot bear to lose another son. Baela and Jacerys reminisce about their fathers, and in Jacerys’ case that’s both Laenor and Harwin Strong, and Jacerys seems to acknowledge that Ser Strong was at the least a surrogate father to him. And, importantly, there’s a moment where Alicent goes to talk to her son the King, only to find him crying and sobbing, He’s not a king anymore, trying to project strength, just a scared and sad kid. And Alicent doesn’t know how to deal with this and backs out of the room.
It’s impressive acting from everyone. It’s why I have often looked past the excesses of the show – Brothels! Child murder! – because at the core are complex characters inhabited by amazing actors.
Rating: 5 out of 5
Who’s The Worst? Ser Criston reclaims the title! Now he’ll get to encourage and indulge Aegon’s worst impulses. And show Alicent exactly how much of a moralistic twat he can be.
So, after last week’s episode of The Acolyte, where we learned at least part of the backstory of Mae and Osha, I was sure we’d get the rebuttal. That is to say, we’d get Act 2 of Rashomon and see the events from Mae’s point of view, and see how (in her opinion) the Jedi poisoned her sister with their treachery, destroyed her coven, and then let Osha fall to her death.
So it was a bit disappointing that we didn’t get that this week. Instead, both Mae and a team of Jedi led by Sol are racing to get to Kelnacca and either warn him or kill him. And, as chases go, it was okay. Structurally, the episode reminded me of Ahsoka, specifically when they crash on the planet with witchy Stonehenge. There was an episode-long chase that really could have been done in ten minutes, and it ended with a cliffhanger.
The most interesting things this week happened at the start and at the end. Sol reports his findings to Jedi Master Vernestra: that Mae is still alive, and that she has obviously had training in the Force, but from who? It wasn’t a Jedi. Sol insists on telling the Jedi High Council, but Vernestra puts the brakes on that. If they tell the High Council about this, the Council will tell the Senate, and they’ll start poking around the affairs of the Jedi and asking questions. And we can’t have that, can we? Better that a team goes to warn Kelnacca, since he’s not responding to their warnings.
I’m frankly more intrigued by why Vernestra doesn’t want the Jedi Council or the Senate poking around. What exactly are they covering up? Is it still related to the massacre of the coven? Is that just the tip of the iceberg?
Vernestra tells Sol that he’s not going — his personal history with Mae makes him too emotional to deal with this rationally. (Which, honestly, is a good point. If Mae is trying to kill four Jedi and Sol is one of them, better to not Instacart him right to her.) But, Sol prevails. He knows what Mae wants. He saw how she softened when she found out Osha was still alive. If he leads a team with Osha, there’s a chance Mae will surrender without further bloodshed.
Osha, meanwhile, is quite happy to let the Jedi handle it. She found out her sister is still alive, and also a murderer, on the same day. She doesn’t trust her reactions, to the point where she tells himbo Jedi Yord to “take the shot” if she falters again.
Meanwhile, Qimir is leading Mae to Kelnacca’s location while they discuss the mysterious Master they both serve. They’ve never seen his face, yet they know enough to be afraid of him. Mae still has to kill a Jedi without using a weapon, as per his order. It’s her Final Lesson.
The Jedi have no luck finding the Wookiee in the town he was stationed in. The locals said he up and walked into the dark, scary woods about a year ago, and no one has heard from him since. Fortunately, the Jedi brought the MVP of the episode: Bazil the Tracker.
(Is this what the kids are talking about with their “rodent boyfriend summer”? I am hip to the youths of today. This is why I recap Star Wars shows.) Bazil sniffs one of the Wookiee’s rags and darts off into the forest with the Jedi trailing behind.
Across the forest, Mae makes Qimir take a break before she makes the final push to Kelnacca’s lair. As Qirim is out looking for water, he hears Mae scream in terror. He races back, only to get caught in a trap and ends up hanging upside-down by his ankle.
You see, Mae has had a change of heart. Osha being alive changes everything. Mae doesn’t need to kill a Jedi without a weapon anymore. She’s going to surrender to Kelnacca and turn herself in. She doesn’t need The Master anymore.
Which… what? Literally five minutes ago, you were talking about how scary The Master was and how you couldn’t leave. Is this a thing for Mae? Last week she decided (seemingly on a whim) to burn down the coven rather than let Osha leave.
As she enters Kelnacca’s clearing, she practically trips over Bazil. The Jedi are close. She goes inside to surrender herself, only to find…
…that Kelnacca is dead, a lightsaber wound gashed across his chest.
Mae immediately knows that “he was here.” The Master has come to check up on her. She turns to leave, but that is just when the Jedi enter the clearing. They’re about to enter the house, when Sol senses a presence. He turns and sees a dark-robed figure descend behind Osha. Osha turns and sees The Master approach, staring her down. His helmet makes him look a lot like the Mouth of Sauron.
Who wore it better?
As he gets to Osha, he ignites his red lightsaber. Sol tells her to run, the Jedi all draw their sabers and charge. With a flick of his finger, the Master force-pushes Osha out of the way. He then sends all the Jedi flying back with a force push and a cloud of dust.
And, frustratingly, that’s where the episode ends.
I read the internet, so I know that there are plenty of trolls all angry about a new Star Wars show, review bombing it on Rotten Tomatoes because a Black woman has a lightsaber. And I have ignored them and enjoyed the first three episodes. But this one was a dud. The race to Kelnacca didn’t pan out and should’ve been the first act of the episode. Will the fight scene with the Master be entertaining? Probably, but it would’ve been nice to have a small inkling of why he’s so frightening to Qimir and Mae. Perhaps show him fighting Kelnacca?
So, while it’s good to meet The Master, the pacing this week was off, as were the character motivations. Mae is suddenly going to surrender to the Jedi because Osha is alive? Osha was going to pass on a chance to save her sister? The Master knew Mae would falter and just suddenly came out of hiding after taking so many precautions to stay hidden? Too many baffling script choices to keep the tension going.
And also, you had a Wookiee Jedi, and he had a whopping three minutes of screen time over three episodes? Come on! You had a Wookiee Jedi and Trinity as a Jedi and you barely use them?
Will they course correct next week? I certainly hope so. There was so much intrigue and potential after last week’s flashback, and none of that paid off. Hopefully, we’ll get back on track, because this was my least favorite episode so far.
Welcome back to the world of Westeros and the seven kingdoms, and a new season of skullduggery, sex, and dragons. It’s time to check your morals at the door and wade into the realm of bloody violence and rampant incest.
It’s been almost two full years since we last saw the warring factions of House Targaryen vying for the Iron Throne. If you need a refresher, and if you can’t remember which one is Rhaenyra, Rhaenys, or Rhaena (all different characters who sometimes are in the same scene), might I suggest going back to my highly informative and entertaining recaps of Season One?
But if you’d rather jump right in (Really? I worked so hard on those recaps…), here is the highly condensed version: King Viserys named his daughter Rhaenyra his heir. Then, he married Rhaenyra’s childhood friend, Alicent Hightower, and had three kids. Alicent and her dad, the King’s Hand Otto Hightower, want her son Aegon to be on the throne. When Viserys passed away, Alicent heard him mumbling about the “dream of Aegon.” We know he was talking about the first Aegon’s dream, about how Winter is Coming™. Alicent interpreted that — either by mistake or on purpose — to mean that Viserys had changed his mind to now have Aegon be his heir. This kicked off a war of succession with the Hightowers wasting no time in putting Aegon on the throne, while Rhaenyra and her Uncle-Husband Daemon race to rally their bannermen to their side. The last season ended with Alicent’s younger son, Aemond (who looks like an anime villain), and his giant dragon chomping Rhaenyra’s younger son Lucerys and his little dragon, all but ensuring a bloody war.
Now you’re caught up, we can dive on in.
After Aemond killed Lucerys, the entire kingdom is on edge. Daemon is eager to fly into King’s Landing and start burning shit down (Hmm, a Targaryen that wants to burn down King’s Landing… sounds familiar…). However, he can’t because his wife and queen, Rhaenyra, is still grieving the loss of her son. (Daemon’s all like, “It’s been a week, come on!” So tactful, Uncle-Husband.) Because they are allied with House Velaryon, who control the seas, they have effectively blockaded King’s Landing.
Meanwhile, the Hightowers are getting ready for the inevitable counter. Their dragons patrol the skies, and Aegon and Aemond are eager to fight. However, this time, they’re the ones being restrained by Mom and Grandad, and they will have a strategic Small Council meeting.
Alicent is prepping for the Small Council meeting by cramming Ser Criston’s head between her thighs. On the one hand, I can’t blame her. Viserys wasn’t exactly a generous lover, especially when he was literally decaying toward the end. On the other hand, fuck her and Criston. Remember when Rhaenyra seduced Criston back in Season One, mere hours after her uncle had had his way with her? (Busy night!) And then he got all mad at her that she wouldn’t run away with him to a distant land to grow oranges? And how Alicent used his confession of this to plot against Rhaenyra? Yeah, double fuck them. (Later on, Criston says he still thinks of Rhaenyra as an evil spider trapping innocents like him and Alicent in her web of lies, so triple fuck that asshole.)
At the Small Council meeting, Aegon has brought his toddler son, Prince Jahaerys, to the meeting. After all, he’s going to be king one day, better start learning about it! And the toddler proceeds to be exactly as interested in affairs of state as you’d expect: more interested in tormenting the Lannister who is the Lord of Coin. When the latter protests, Aegon tells Lannister to give his son a horsey ride. Alicent tells him to knock it off. There’s serious stuff to consider.
Afterward, Larys, Alicent’s obsequious, club-footed adviser and fixer, informs her that he has surveyed all the staff and determined who might have been leaking the information that Viserys was dead before they were ready to announce it. And what happened to them, she asks? “They no longer breathe our air.” Hey, remember when Alicent was shocked that Larys would burn his own family to death in order to get Otto back as the Hand so he could help make Aegon the king? Now she nonchalantly acknowledges this information and hurries off, probably to go rendezvous with Criston again. Poor Larys. He murdered a bunch of chambermaids, and she didn’t even give him a peek at her ankles.
The next day, Aegon is hearing petitions from the common folk. He’s trying to be gregarious and grant all the wishes he can, but mean ol’ Otto keeps swatting him down.
Peasant: The crown took a tenth of my sheep.
Aegon: Well, you shall have your goats back!
Otto: Sire, we put a tithe on livestock to feed the dragons for war.
Aegon:
Larys sees this and approaches him after the session, telling Aegon how good he is with the commoners, and what a shame it is that the Hand is trying to rein him in. You know, Otto was a Hand to three kings and he got a real rep for manipulating Viserys… Then some meaningful glances are exchanged and it seems clear to me that Larys the Lame is about to swap out his meal ticket. (You’d better hope he has pretty feet, Larys.) Bargain Bin Littlefinger is going to be the Hand for Bargain Bin Joffrey.
Rhaenyra, meanwhile, has returned from grieving Lucerys and is ready for revenge. She wants a son for a son, and specifically, she wants Aemond’s head. Daemon slinks off to King’s Landing and, using intel from his old brothel buddy, Mysaria (who apparently escaped getting burned up by Otto), he finds a bent guard who he can bribe to let into the city. The guard has no love for the Hightowers and is happy to help. They recruit a rat catcher named Cheese (sure, okay) to get them inside the Keep. He’s got gambling debts to pay off and is all too eager to join in. He knows all the ways around the castle, since he has to chase all the rats. Aegon’s wife, his sister Haelena (Sigh, I know… It’s a whole historical thing.) has been saying she’s scared of the rats.
The guard and Cheese sneak into the castle easily. (And I am going to have words with George RR Martin for making me write sentences like that.) In fact they stroll right past Aegon sitting on the Iron Throne, joking with his bros about how they’re calling him Aegon the Magnanimous. “No one knows what that means! How about Aegon the Dragon Cock?” Charming. The kingdom is in great hands.
Meanwhile Aemond is plotting away with Criston about how best to wage war against Rhaenyra, until Otto tells them to knock it off. There are pieces at play on the board that he has no idea of. He sends Aemond off to bed.
The guard and Cheese (Is it better if I write Cheese and the Guard, like this is ’70’s cop show? No? Argh.) search the upper levels but cannot find Aemond. But they do find someone else.
Haelena and her twins.
Hey, a son for a son. So what if its not the right son? Cheese forces her to point out which one is the boy and then brutally kills him by chopping off his head to take back to Daemon, while Haelena runs away with her daughter.
You didn’t think you were getting through an entire episode without some horrible act, did you?
Now, this conclusion to the episode is a reminder that yes, this still is the world of Game of Thrones (especially when Haelena bursts into her mom’s room and finds Alicent riding Criston. This is HBO!) But, despite this burst of horrific violence at the end, this was a fairly contemplative episode which weighed the personal costs that the war has taken so far. There is some lovely work done by the two lead actresses — Emma D’Arcy as Rhaenyra and Olivia Cook and Alicent. In one scene, Rhaenyra is having a funeral pyre for Lucerys while Alicent lights candles for the dead — including one for Lucerys — and Rhaenyra’s older son, Jacerys, tries to give his Queen a report on all the armies he has rallied to their side, until he starts to break down and they hold each other, sobbing. They are just mother and son, sobbing over the loss of Lucerys. All of it, touching and lovely.
There is a lot of great work with the dragons here. There aren’t any big dragon fights, but their presence is felt everywhere. The guards at King’s Landing nervously watch the dragon Vhagar circle overhead, patrolling the skies as they ready the scorpions should Rhaenyra attack. Rhaenyra sees some fishermen pull up a dragon wing that belonged to Lucerys’s mount, and as she flies in, the townspeople scream and run away. These are essentially the nuclear weapons of Westeros, and the poor commoners want nothing to do with them. Which is too bad, because after little Jahaerys got killed, there’s going to be a lot of dracaris-ing going on.
Last season, I thought that the show took a while to find its footing, relying too much on the old ultraviolence and sex position. It took a little while, but by the end of the series, I was fully on board. So far the series has kept that strong finish going into Season Two. And with the promise of war and epic dragon battles to come, I’m going to be highly entertained all summer.
Episode Rating: 4 out of 5
Who’s the worst? A lot of solid candidates this week, but the clear winner here is Cheese the Ratcatcher. I think it’s a pretty safe rule that if you BEHEAD A TODDLER in front of their mother, you automatically are the worst.
Last week, we were introduced to twin sisters Mae and Osha. Osha is a Jedi Academy dropout who likes to repair the hulls of spaceships in outer space. Mae, who she presumed dead, was hellbent on getting revenge on the four Jedi she blames for destroying her life. This week, we get a return to their childhoods and see the events that set them on their current paths.
Sixteen years ago, on the planet Brendok, we meet Osha and Mae. They are extremely close, likely because they are the only two children in their colony, which is entirely made up of women. Osha is more pensive, yet still yearns to see the worlds outside of their highly protective compound. Mae is the boisterous one, who likes to run and use her nascent Force abilities to torture the translucent insects around the bunta tree. They are supposed to be preparing for something called “Ascension.” Mae is excited for it, but Osha isn’t, which is why she disobeyed her mother and left the colony to come to her favorite spot to think and draw.
They get caught by Mother Koril (Margarita Levieva), who drags them back to the compound. Mother Koril has the horned ridges of a Dathomirian (like Darth Maul). It’s not safe outside, she tells them, and as they leave the camera pans over to someone spying on them from behind the trees. It’s a younger Sol.
On their return, their other caretaker, Mother Aniseya (Jodie Turner-Smith), tells them to go get ready for the Ascension ceremony. After the children leave, Aniseya asks if there was any sign of the visiting Jedi. Koril says no, the scouts think they have moved inland. (Should’ve looked harder. Sol was pretty conspicuous.) You see, says Aniseya, I told you this was a safe place for our coven.
Image: Disney+
Which explains a lot. They are witches, who can use the Force. And if Mother Koril is a Darhomirian, then these are likely the foremothers of the Witches of Dathomir we met in the Ahsoka series (which was a very cool concept that Ahsoka really didn’t do a whole lot with). And as Mother Aniseya explains in a demonstration for the twins, their magic comes from The Thread.
The Thread binds all life together and connects it, and witches can pull the Thread to effect changes (which sounds an awful lot like how Yoda and Obi-Wan explained the Force to young Luke). So the witches have their own method of using the Force, which is separate from Jedi training, and apparently, the Jedi aren’t all that thrilled about it.
At the ceremony, where the children will Ascend into becoming full witches (a Bat Witch-vah, if you will), Mae is super excited and eagerly promises to carry on the legacy of the witches. Osha is hesitant and hems and haws until the Jedi show up and interrupt. Aniseya tells the children to hide while the witches deal with them.
Into the compound come the four Jedi: Indara, her Padawan, Torbin, Wookiee Kelnacca, and Sol. Indara says she thought the planet was uninhabited, which Aniseya scoffs at. “The all-knowing Jedi are ignorant of their surroundings?” Indara tells her that they have no quarrel with the coven but are concerned that they are training children, which is against Republic law. Aniseya reminds her that Brendok is not part of the Republic, and besides, there are no children here. Kelnacca sniffs the air and knows that to be a lie. Osha and Mae have crept close to the front, mainly because Osha was entranced by the lightsabers. (Can’t blame her for that! I’m way older than her and still entranced by them.) Indara calls for them to come forward, which Osha does. Once out, she beckons Mae to come with her. Indara asks where their father is; Aniseya replies that they don’t have one. Indara asks to test the children as potential Padawans, which they have the right to do.
Image: Disney+
The witches are shown to be quite powerful. When the Jedi get too pushy, Aniseya possesses young Padawan Torbin, causing his eyes to go all black. No wonder the Jedi are wary of them.
Mother Aniseya tells the twins to fail the test on purpose, so the Jedi won’t take them away, and Mae happily complies. Osha doesn’t want to lie, especially to the nice Jedi who listen to her and showed her his lightsaber, but she tries to tank the test by guessing the wrong images on Sol’s pad. Sol tricks her into revealing that she knew the right answer. (“It’s a mountain.” “Correct!” “What? No, it wasn’t!”) Sol thinks she’d be a great Jedi, but only if she is brave enough to speak her truth. And when he tells her about all the other children at the Jedi Academy, she instantly perks up.
Mae is furious that Osha passed the test and is now leaving for the Jedi Academy. When Osha says that she couldn’t lie to them, Mae retorts that Osha lied to her. Osha said she would fail the test and they would stay together, and she didn’t. Mae is so enraged at losing her sister that she starts to hit her until Mother Koril has to drag her away. Aniseya isn’t happy to lose Osha, but she knows that she has to follow her own path and pull her Thread. Destiny isn’t prewritten. She has to choose her way.
After Osha leaves to pack, Aniseya and Koril have an enlightening discussion. It is revealed that Koril carried the twins to term, but they were “created” by Aniseya. So there really wasn’t a father, and that wasn’t just something they said to get the Jedi off their backs. (Hey, you know who else didn’t have a father? Remember, in The Phantom Menace, how Shmi Skywalker said Anakin just happened through some kind of miracle? Do you suppose they’re insinuating that Anakin was the result of the Witches of Dathomir?)
While Osha is packing, Mae appears in her doorway, still angry and intense. She isn’t going to let Osha leave, and she will keep Osha in her room. Even if she has to kill her.
This… kinda comes out of nowhere. Mae is obviously distraught, but it seems like a little bit of stretch to go from “I don’t want you to leave” to “murder by death.” (Editor’s Note: You know what else this sounds like? Anakin going from “must save Padmé” to “let’s kill kids” in, like, 60 seconds!) Mae locks Osha in her room and smashes a bottle of some sort of kerosene against the door to set it on fire. Trying to stay as calm as possible, Osha unscrews the cover of an access hatch and crawls through into a tunnel.
As she makes her way out, she hears screams and loud bangs from above. She makes her way into a power generator room, where she sees Mae. The twins end up on opposite sides of a broken metal bridge, going across the room over a chasm. Each one is urging the other to jump to them, to no avail. The bridge starts to creak and give way, but Sol bursts in at the last moment and grabs Osha, while Mae falls. He leads Osha out of the compound, through a pile of dead witches, and past the corpse of her mother. When Osha wakes up on the ship on the way back to Coruscant, she wants to head back. Sol tells her that everyone is dead, including her sister. They can’t return.
This episode fills in a lot of backstory for the twins, but it all feels like Act One of Rashomon. This story is told in a way that clearly favors Osha and the Jedi, but there are still so many questions left unanswered. Why were the Jedi on Brendok in the first place? Like Mom suggested, the Jedi really couldn’t have thought the planet was uninhabited, right? And why did Sol show up in the nick of time to save Osha? Was he merely coming to pick her up for the Jedi Academy, or was there something else? And how did all the witches die? Surely it wasn’t from the fire. Could that have spread so far, so fast? Or were the Jedi somehow responsible? And surely a full-grown Jedi Knight could have saved both girls with the Force, without having to go all Sophie’s Choice. (Sol-phie’s Choice? Is that anything?) Or was Sol pulling the Thread and choosing a destiny for Osha without Mae? Did Mae really turn into a psychopath at the thought of losing her sister, or are these merely the subjective memories of Osha trying to make sense of a tragedy?
The episode ends with Mae looking for her sister at her special place under the bunta tree. Does Mae think Osha’s dead? That she killed her? Or does she still blame the Jedi? Did Sol see her survive her fall? (Jedi really should know that merely dropping someone from a great height is not enough to kill them. See: Palpatine, Darth Maul, Luke Skywalker, etc.) Was he lying to Osha?
It’s a mystery, and it certainly is making me eager to see more. I like what The Acolyte is doing with the characters. Motivations are being revealed and questioned. And now that we have seen the “official” version of the events on Brendok, I hope we see Mae’s version.
Crazy 8 Press recently released Peter David’s latest novel, Robyne of Sherwood, an exciting new addition to the legendary Robin Hood lore. Featuring Robin Hood’s daughter at the forefront, the book marks David’s first new novel in five years.
Robyne of Sherwood promises a riveting tale set against the backdrop of medieval England. After the death of Robin Hood at the hands of the Sheriff of Nottingham, the story follows the path of vengeance undertaken by his daughter, Mary. Now grown and skilled under the protection of a religious order, Mary sets out to fulfill her vow of revenge.
Peter David is a prolific American writer whose diverse body of work spans comic books, novels, television, films, and video games. David’s notable comic book achievements include an award-winning 12-year run on “The Incredible Hulk,” as well as significant runs on titles like “Aquaman,” “Young Justice,” “SpyBoy,” “Supergirl,” “Fallen Angel,” “Spider-Man,” “Spider-Man 2099,” “Captain Marvel,” and “X-Factor.”
SAN DIEGO, CA – JULY 12: Comic-book writer Peter David ‘PAD’ attends “Stan Lee’s World of Heroes” during Comic-Con International 2012 held at the Hilton San Diego Bayfront Hotel on July 12, 2012 in San Diego, California. (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)
In recent years, David has faced significant health challenges, making this novel’s release all the more poignant. Purchasing Robyne of Sherwood not only allows readers to enjoy a masterful tale but also supports David during this difficult time.
“Peter David is one of the best fantasy writers of our generation,” said Robert Greenberger, a founding member of Crazy 8 Press. “He’s been out of action lately, so it’s a joyous moment for everyone who knows Peter and loves his work to welcome Robyne of Sherwood into the world. Peter, as always, is at the top of his game.”
The story unfolds in a period marked by loss and determination. After witnessing her father’s death as a child, Mary is driven by a quest for justice. The novel explores her growth into a formidable force, poised to confront those who wronged her family.
“Peter has always had a flair for combining fantasy, humor, and pathos into his fiction,” added Michael Jan Friedman, another founding member of Crazy 8 Press. “Even when he puts his characters and, by extension, readers through the wringer, there’s a gentle heartbeat underneath. To see another Peter David novel come to light is pure magic.”
David often humorously describes his occupation as “Writer of Stuff,” a nod to his extensive and varied career. His writing is known for blending real-world issues with humor, popular culture references, and elements of metafiction and self-reference. He has earned multiple awards for his work, including a 1992 Eisner Award, a 1993 Wizard Fan Award, a 1996 Haxtur Award, a 2007 Julie Award, and a 2011 GLAAD Media Award.
Robyne of Sherwood is now available for purchase on Amazon.com.
About Peter David
Peter David is the acclaimed author of over one hundred books, covering a range of genres from fantasy to science fiction. His notable works include the bestselling “Star Trek” novels “Imzadi” and the “New Frontier” series. David has also made significant contributions to television, co-creating “Space Cases” and writing for “Babylon 5” and “Crusade.” His award-winning career in comic books includes a celebrated run on “The Incredible Hulk.” David resides in New York with his wife, Kathleen.
About Crazy 8 Press
Crazy 8 Press is a collective of authors dedicated to providing an alternative to traditional publishing, offering a diverse range of genres including science fiction, fantasy, mystery, and more. The consortium’s members include Russ Colchamiro, Peter David, Mary Fan, Michael Jan Friedman, Robert Greenberger, Glenn Hauman, Paul Kupperberg, Aaron Rosenberg, Hildy Silverman, and Geoffrey Thorne. More information can be found at Crazy8Press.com.
Something I’ve written about on here before is that too many shows and franchises expect you to put in a great deal of homework before you can watch the newest installment. I complained about this a LOT when I was reviewing Ahsoka, as the show grew more and more incomprehensible if you hadn’t watched all 75 episodes of Rebels.
So one of the potentially great things about The Acolyte is that is takes place a hundred years before the prequel films. There are no Skywalkers, no continuity to worry about. The only existing character that might even possibly show up is a certain little green Jedi Master. All you have to do is give me a compelling story. And so far, so good.
The Acolyte comes from Leslye Headland, best known for her Netflix show Russian Doll. Several cast members of that show appear here, which gives me hope for a Jedi Natasha Lyonne. The two-episode premiere that Disney released on Tuesday night gives us a solid start, promising action and mystery in equal measures.
The story follows Osha (Amandla Stenberg), a Jedi Academy dropout who now works as a meknek, doing dangerous outer-hull ship repairs for the Trade Federation. (Remember them, with the thick, Ming the Merciless accents? Apparently Feloni will not rest until every aspect of the prequel films — no matter how bad — has been reclaimed.) She toils away, with her pocket droid/multi-tool, Pip, until a pair of Jedi show up to interrogate her.
It seems that a Jedi has been killed on a the remote planet of Ueda. Master Indara (Carrie-Anne Moss) was killed by a force user who fits Osha’s description to a T. She’s identified by the bartender, who was there for the attack.
The fight scene is very well done. The hooded attacker (and that purple cloak she wears is great — expect to see a lot of it at the next Star Wars Celebration) announces her intention to kill Master Indara and is greeted with a round of guffaws from the table. Kill a Jedi? Yeah, right. But she causes enough of a ruckus that Indara is forced to intervene. The battle recalls those scenes in martial arts films where an aggressive foe tries to attack the old sage, and the sage barely moves but causes the reckless attacker to flail and miss. Osha finds a weakness, though, by exploiting the Jedi’s compassion. She hurls a knife at the bartender, which Indara stops with the Force. However, this distracts her long enough to allow Osha to stab her. (I certainly hope this is not the last we’ll see of Carrie-Anne Moss! Seems a waste to get Trinity in your lightsaber show and kill her off inside of five minutes.)
Image: Disney+
Osha insists that she’s not the killer, but the pair of Jedi — including her handsome former classmate, now Jedi Knight Yord (Charlie Barnett) — arrest her and have her transported back to Coruscant on a prison vessel. After a fortuitous though badly thought-out prison break caused by the prisoners in the next cell, Osha crashes onto Carlac, a mountainous, wintry planet.
A couple of things happen here that are nice little character beats to show that Osha probably isn’t the real killer. First, she tries to force-pull her pocket droid to her to help get her door open, but she can’t. It’s been six years since she left the order, and she’s cut off from the Force. So it seems unlikely that she could knife a Jedi Master in combat. Second, she helps a prisoner who was being sedated by a parasite so he can get out, showing that she’s not cruel or callous. Her reward is the prisoner taking the last escape pod, leaving her to crash.
On Coruscant, at the Jedi Temple, Master Sol (Lee Jung-jae) is training a fresh group of younglings when he is informed about the actions of his old Padawan, Osha. She was one one of his trainees, so he feels a special responsibility for her. He and Indara rescued her from a fire on her home world that killed the rest of her family. They brought her to the Academy, even though she was older than the typical youngling, and it was their urging that made the council admit her. When he learns that she crashed in the prison transport, he heads off to investigate with a small team. He brings Yord and his current Padawan, the by-the-book Jecki Lon (Dafne Keen). (I see buddy-cop potential here!)
Image: Disney+
Meanwhile, in the wreckage, Osha sees a vision of herself. Only it isn’t herself. It’s her twin sister, Mae. Which is impossible, because Mae died in that fire. Not only that, but she started it. However, it appears that she survived and now blames the Jedi for what happened to her planet. (Also, kudos to the production on this scene. Hearing a little-girl voice come out of an adult is never not creepy.)
This, understandably, freaks Osha out, and the arrival of the trio of Jedi does nothing to calm her down. She tells Sol that she is innocent, and that Mae is still alive as she backs herself off a cliff. Sol saves her, and tells her he believes her.
Her claim of innocence is bolstered by another attempt on a Jedi’s life while Osha is in custody. Someone broke into the Temple on Olega and tried to kill Master Torbin while he was in a meditative state but could not penetrate his protective Force field. Since Osha was with Sol, she couldn’t have been there as well. It must have been Mae. They are directed to investigate.
Mae has fallen in with a Dark Master who has trained her. Now, we obviously know this to be a Sith, but the Jedi at this time, at the end of the High Republic era, had not seen a Sith in centuries and seem absolutely puzzled that anyone would want to kill Jedi. Mae is intent on killing four Jedi to get revenge for what happened to her and what they did. And her mysterious master, for unspecified reasons, needs her to kill one of them without using a weapon.
Image: Disney+
However, Master Torbin has been in his meditative state for about ten years and is untouchable. She seeks advice from her supplier, Qimir (Manny Jacinto! Now both Jason Mendoza and Pillboi are canon Star Wars characters! Tahani next!)
He rather cryptically spells out their goals, reminding her that everyone has a weakness. “The Jedi justify their galactic dominance in the name of peace.” Which, they know, is a lie. Torbin is no different. He only thinks he’s found peace, but “what he really needs is something only you can give him. Absolution.” He makes her a poison based on a plant from Osha’s home world. She breaks back into the temple and speaks to the meditative Torbin and offers him a choice. Either confess his crimes to the Jedi High Council, or receive forgiveness from her by drinking the poison. Torbin awakens from his ten-year meditation almost instantly. He says, “I’ve been waiting for you, Mae,” and drinks the poison. “Forgive me. We thought we were doing the right thing.”
Which is… wow. What could the Jedi have done that was so bad that Torbin immediately killed himself rather than talking to the Council? I mean, we saw Anakin slaughter younglings! Back in the Ahsoka show, there was a flashback to young Ahsoka leading troops in the Clone Wars and thinking about the things they had done in the name of the Jedi. Will this be something similar? A fog-of-war moment? Were the Jedi “just following orders?”Or will it be something more akin to a My Lai massacre? Or did the Jedi do something terrible to preserve what they thought was a greater good? My interest is piqued.
Mae leaves the temple just as Osha, Sol and the rest arrive, which leads to a confrontation where Mae attacks Sol. This doesn’t go well for her as Sol is even better at dodging than Indara was. She escapes by using the Force to create a sandstorm for cover. As she runs out to the road to speeder-jack a vehicle, she sees Osha. Mae is just as surprised to see that Osha is alive. (Was that a motivating factor for her? Revenge for her sister? If she knows she’s alive will that change her desires?) Osha fires at her, but the shots are so far off, it looks to me like she missed on purpose.
As she and Sol discuss their encounter, Osha reminds him that there were four Jedi involved in the incident on her home world: Indara, Torbin, Kelnacca, and Sol. She already killed two, and fought Sol, which leaves only the Wookiee Jedi Kelnacca, camping out on Khofar. I am quite excited by the Wookiee Jedi. You thought they were badass when they could just rip an arm out of socket? Well, Kelnacca can do that and then use the Force to beat you with it.
So, overall, this is a strong start to the series. I am looking forward to the show digging into the mystery of what happened to Osha and Mae so long ago. What were the Jedi trying to cover up? What did they do that got Mae so angry, she turned to the Dark Side for revenge? Is there a lot of pent-up anger towards the Jedi? And who exactly is the mysterious instructor training Mae? We have eight episodes for them to tease out the mystery. Let’s hope for a satisfying conclusion.
Bill Skarsgård plays the titular “Boy” whose mother and sister are killed by a ruthless dictator. He signs up to be trained by a martial arts master, Shaman (Yayan Ruhian), who generally tortures and drugs him while also, yes, training him to fight. In order to survive this harsh lifestyle, the boy adopts an inner persona (voiced with hilarious accuracy by H. Jon Benjamin), and eventually starts hallucinating visions of his dead sister, Mina (Quinn Copeland).
Once a year, the oppressive Van Der Coy family moseys on into a village and chooses some sacrificial lambs for televised slaughter. Not by random – these are people who have spoken out against their overlords. On one occasion, the Boy and the Shaman happen to be in town. It’s important to note that this trip informs us the Boy is deaf and dumb, but he can read lips (or he’s getting better at it). Against the Shaman’s judgement, the Boy decides that this is his moment to take out the family. He stows away in one of their cars and infiltrates their stronghold (kind of, but not really).
From here the movie gets very, very weird. For one thing, the visions of his sister become fairly permanent. His inner voice frequently has conversations and arguments with her, while his outer self seeks to protect her (even though, rationally, he knows she’s not real). For another, he’s recruited into a resistance movement that includes his new friend Basho (a giddy Andrew Koji, who he rescues from bondage) and a man named Bennie (Isaiah Mustafa, who we learn nothing about). Bennie speaks in a dialect, or language, that the Boy can’t understand, and this results in hilarious misinterpretations that are fully visually realized.
Several violent confrontations later and the Boy meets his ultimate goal: Hilda Van Der Koy (Famke Janssen). There’re two twists that happen: one you see coming a mile away, the other not so much. In the end, the Boy and June27 (Jessica Rothe, as Hilda’s personal security guard), have an all-out brawl with the Shaman in order to escape and find their secret perfect place. And, because why not, there’s even an after credits scene.
WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!
If you haven’t watched Boy Kills World, I suggest you go do that and then come back for the review.
The first thing I noticed about this movie was the Rotten Tomatoes score: 58% vs. 72%, meaning audiences enjoyed the film significantly more than critics. That immediately piqued my interest because, as a rule, if the critics don’t like a movie but the audience does, it’s probably a fun film. I was not wrong. Granted, I can definitely see where critics wouldn’t like this movie.
To start, Boy Kills World is heavily “influenced” – to put it politely – by movies like The Hunger Games, Old Boy, and The Raid. The Van Der Koy family plot-line and the way they deal with resistance is straight out of The Hunger Games; there’s even brainwashing like how Peeta is turned against Katniss. As for Old Boy, there’s plenty of similar violence, and even a family twist that fits the mold, except instead of the main character having a romance with their daughter, we discover June27 has been made to fight her own brother. And of course, lots and lots of fight scenes that feel very similar to The Raid.
However, the borrowing of these concepts is lazy and half-assed if you really pay attention. I figured that June27 was going to turn out to be the Boy’s sister almost immediately – this movie just isn’t nuanced at all, and there’s no reason for the obvious conclusion not to be true. If we don’t see a character clearly die, then we know they can come back. Considering both she and the Boy were the only blonds in the whole movie, and you don’t get to see her face, you know there’s a reveal coming. On the other hand, the twist that the Shaman had kidnapped and brainwashed the Boy didn’t feel right at all, despite it having something of a set up.
See, way back in the beginning of the movie, we know the Shaman blows smoke at the Boy and it makes him see things. He does this a few times, but each one is followed by visions of the Boy’s dead family and his lost life – his childhood with his sister and mother. It’s only later in the movie that these visions change and start to get muddled. Different stories emerge. You might think this is clever and well done, but in all honesty, it’s not.
Compare this to a movie like Fight Club, where the huge reveal turns out to have been teased at throughout the entire film up until that point. Boy Kills World, by contrast, only seeks to brainwash the audience into sharing the Boy’s view of things. This isn’t inherently bad; plenty of movies love their red herrings. But Boy waits until the final ten minutes to drop this twist and spends several of those minutes simply explaining why the twist works. That’s not great.
Having said all that, I still very much enjoyed this movie. I believe the problem with a lot of critics is that they fail to appreciate the movie they are watching for what it is, not necessarily what it could have been. Could Boy have been a deeper, richer movie? Sure. Is it a bad movie because it’s not? No, and that’s the important thing here.
A good movie, to me, has always been and will always be one that entertains me. Boy is a surprisingly light affair. Yes, it’s extremely violent, but not in any way that ruins the undercurrent of humor and fun you feel as you watch it. The Boy’s sister, Mina, begins this process by appearing to provide levity throughout a violent backdrop, until you quickly come to realize that “levity” is the wrong word. She’s the canary in the coal mine, warning the viewer that they’re in for a wacky ride.
From the Boy’s inner-voice reactions to things happening around and to him, the movie’s humor evolves to take full advantage of their unusual protagonist. Let’s not forget, the Boy is deaf and dumb – he relies on reading lips, which he admits is a growing skill; when he meets Bennie, the comical pay dirt is rich for harvest.
Some of the best scenes of the entire movie revolve around the Boy’s misinterpretations of Bennie’s words: fantastic surrealistic portraits of a child’s desperate attempt to make sense of something he simply lacks the skills to understand. This happens a lot after we meet Bennie, but that’s not to say the Boy’s inner voice doesn’t make some excellent observations and comments throughout the movie. It is truly a unique take on the action/revenge movie that I, for one, find refreshing.
Should you see this film? Absolutely. Just know, it’s gonna be a wild ride!
Mary: So here we are: the series finale of Star Trek: Diversity… errr… Star Trek: Discovery. I gotta say, it played out exactly the way I thought it would. Lots of big speeches and even bigger feelings. Slow, misty-eyed scenes with “sweeping” music and backgrounds. And so many false endings, it makes Return of the King look downright abrupt.
Victor: Oh, did you say something? I’m still on Hour 17 of the epilogue.
I know I said that the episode in the mind labyrinth was peak Discovery, but no. This was peak peak peak Discovery. After this, there can be no more Discovery.
Mary: Indeed. Disco out-Disco’d itself
Let’s start with the portal. We were treated to the most pointless fight ever between Moll and Michael, where of course Michael talks Moll into playing nice because “trust me.”
Victor: That was so stupid.
Mary: PEAK. DISCO. So, SO Disco.
Victor: Michael starts the fight and then says, “It doesn’t have to go this way! We can work together!” YOU STARTED THE FIGHT, MICHAEL! YOU SWEPT THE LEG!
Mary: Right??? I had to go back and rewatch when she started going on about how “let’s not fight.” Didn’t you start the fight, Michael?? Moll had already agreed to go with you!
Victor: And I don’t know what I was expecting to see, but it wasn’t “Progenitor workshop.” Which was kind of a cool idea, but, in true Disco fashion, didn’t really get explored.
Image: Paramount+
Mary: Oh I was definitely expecting some kind of Progenitor workshop. Or speech. Or judgement council or something.
Victor: I was expecting a speech, for sure. And we got one!
Mary: When Moll started arranging the triangles, I kept wanting to yell, “THE PENITENT MAN WOULD KNEEL BEFORE GOD!” I mean, it was a LITERAL PUZZLE. Everything has been leading up to… a triangle??
Victor: Yeah, I figured that puzzle out in about two seconds. Ooh, the space between! What could that mean? It’s like something you’d do at Cracker Barrel, for goodness sake!
Mary: Except Disco didn’t have the guts to kill Moll. “Oops wrong passcode. You’ll be fine, though.”
Victor: Disco didn’t have the guts to kill anyone. Not Moll, not Book, not Culber, not Saru. Not even Rayner, who seemed to be added to the cast just so he could do a heroic sacrifice!
Mary: Okay, but I would have been so mad if they’d killed off Rayner. We already lost Shaw! Do not take another curmudgeon from us!!!
Victor: True. But what if his dying words were, “I now see, our diversity is our strength!”
Like, I’m the first guy to go off on the chuds complaining about how “Star Trek got all WOKE,” but jeez, dial it down a notch Discovery.
Mary: How anticlimactic was Moll’s resolution, though?
Victor: Such a nothingburger!
Mary: After all that fuss, she just rolls over and accepts L’ak’s death
Victor: “Well, we can make a genetic clone, but it won’t have his memory or experiences.”
“Oh well. Let’s go then!”
The Moll who just risked her life multiple times to take over the Breen to revive L’ak would have ABSOLUTELY taken a genetic clone.
Mary: Or been in denial about it. Or refused to accept the truth.
Victor: Or made Stamets beam the buffer L’ak into the new L’ak and try and merge them.
Mary: Michael just shakes her head, and Moll is like, “okay, fine”
Victor: And the whole Breen thing just fizzled out as well. Who will take the throne? Dunno, writers don’t care. Saru out-diplomacied Talal, and the other dreadnought got magically teleported across the galaxy, and thus ended the plot we were told repeatedly was the greatest threat to the Federation EVAH.
Mary: I mean, all season we were like, “The writers care more about the characters’ feelings than the plot,” and this episode confirmed it. They dropped the whole-ass plot to spend 20 minutes on feelings.
Saru and Rayner were pretty awesome, though!
Victor: Yes, the whole crew got their moments to shine, but Saru was great.
Mary: Hooray for Action Saru!
Victor: Action Saru’s Last Ride. “Look in my eyes. Do you detect a hint of falsehood?”
Image: Paramount+
Mary: I also love how Rayner was like, “Can we jump something not Discovery?” And the engineers were like, “NO!! Well… hmmmmm…”
Victor: They really speed-ran Scotty’s engineering motto. “Tell them it will take twice as long so you look like a miracle worker when you finish in half the time.”
Mary: Hah! Indeed. I gotta say, I was disappointed by the action sequences. It was all very generic.
Victor: And how dumb was the resolution of Culber’s arc?
Mary: Oh. My. God.
Victor: “I have had a spiritual awakening. I need to be on this shuttle! And it’s so I can give you a tractor beam frequency modulation!” Come. On.
Mary: Not even being possessed by Progenitors or anything.
Victor: Like, what the hell?
Mary: All that smiling and mysterious hinting… to come up with a frequency.
Victor: How much time did they spend on that? You’d think at least he’d have had a moment with Stamets and Adira, but no. Just punch in a code
Mary: Do you think the writers just stopped caring? They’re getting canceled anyway, so why bother?
Victor: It certainly felt like we were being trolled by them, especially in the back half of the season.
Mary: Right?? So much build-up for NOTHING.
Victor: I heard that once they got canceled, they had to do rewrites to make the show end properly, and I can see that.
What did you think of the Progenitor meeting Michael?
Mary: Yawn. Generic platitudes about diversity. And Michael gets… pedestal’d. Like, “You figured out the clues, so you are worthy of EVERYTHING.”
Victor: And even Michael can’t buy that. So they take the Progenitor tech, the thing they have spent all year chasing, the thing Starfleet has ordered them to get…
AND THEY YEET IT INTO A BLACK HOLE!!!!
This was the point of the season, and you just go, “Nope! We are already super diverse, and people can’t be trusted with it.”
Mary: Yeah… meanwhile I wondered all season why the scientists of old didn’t just destroy it in the first place? And the answer seems to be, “So we could have a treasure hunt.”
Victor: This show… argh! So much potential, so much WTF-ery.
Mary: Right?? Well, at least it was pretty. The portal landscape was pretty cool looking, and so was Michael’s house.
Victor: Yeah, they used up the effects budget on purple trees and CGI deer things.
Mary: Who needs plot when you have feelings and CGI animals?
Victor: Oh, we should talk about the endless endings. The Neverending Dis-cooooo!
Mary: Goodness. So, we got the lovely wedding you predicted.
Victor: Yes, Saru looked very sharp.
Image: Paramount+
Mary: And I thought that was the end, with Michael and Book walking into the sunset.
Victor: Yep, that was the natural end point.
Mary: Then I literally texted you to say, “MY GOD how are there still 20 min left in this episode?”
Victor: I texted you last night when I watched, “It has more endings than TheLord of the Rings.” And that was at the end of the wedding and before the 15 MINUTE flash forward.
Mary: They even outdid the glow-y happy laughing reunion! I half expected Michael to say “GAAAANDAAAALF!”
Last Crusade with the Return of the King ending = Disco this season.
Image: Paramount+
Victor: Am I happy that Book and Michael are living together on red-leaf planet? Sure! Did we need a 15-minute tacked-on ending? No. Especially when the whole point was to tie it in to a web short made in 2018? Which I had no idea existed until I read about it online!
Mary: There was a web short?? Is that what leaving Disco on the edge of the galaxy was about?
Victor: Apparently, it came out between Season One and Season Two. It’s called Calypso, and it’s about an adrift space traveler that finds Discovery. Which I had zero clue existed until I read about it on io9 today!
Mary: Oh, and here I was thinking it would tie into Academy or something… WELLP.
Victor: Oh, no! That wouldn’t be Disco enough.
Mary: At least Enterprise fans get a last-minute Easter egg?
Victor: All six of you. I was clueless as to who Agent Daniels was until I looked him up. So great job, Disco.
Mary: Yeah, I had to look him up, too. Been a while since I watched Enterprise.
So overall… this season was PEAK DISCO, for better or worse
Victor: I think Kovich, aka Agent Daniels, put it very well. As he told Michael, I have never met anyone more capable or more frustrating than you.
Mary: Seems to apply to Disco.
Victor: Yes, David Cronenberg speaks for me. This show could be so good and soooo frustrating.
Mary: Agree.
Victor: So many cool ideas! So many cool characters! And so many just discarded and not fully realized.
Mary: Felt like the whole script was missing a good editor. It felt like a first draft…
Victor: I’d give the episode and the season 3/5 stars.
Mary: You’re more generous than me for once. I was gonna give this episode 2/5. 3/5 for the season.
Victor: Hey, I like a good wedding!
The series as a whole gets a 3.5/5. It gets credit for being the first new Trek show in over a decade. It walked so Strange New Worlds and Lower Decks could run.
Mary: Fair enough. At a certain point, it really should have found its footing but… alas.
Victor: But… alas is a pretty apt epitaph for the good ship Discovery.
Thank, everyone, for tuning in to our recaps! Chatting with Mary was generally more entertaining than the antics of the Discovery crew. See you next time!
Mary Fan: Well we’re nearly at the end of the season, and the penultimate episode takes us where all good treasure-hunt adventures end up: the big confrontation with the baddies in the metaphorical treasure room. The Discovery crew’s possum maneuver cost them so much time, they arrived at the location of the Progenitors’ tech only for Moll and the Breen to snatch it out from under them. But, because Michael was the one who actually mind-scaped her way to the clue, only she has the cryptic message that will help decode it. Moll opens up the container with the tech only to find a big white light that looks an awful lot like the dimension of the Deep Space Nine wormhole aliens. And like a good tyrant, she sends a random soldier to investigate… who promptly gets pulled in and vanishes. I got major Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade vibes from that bit.
Victor Catano: He was… unworthy.
Mary: Exactly.
Image: Paramount+
Victor: It was a very fun episode. I liked the pacing and the subterfuge and the action beats. However…
The episode starts with Discovery and Moll finding the structure in space between two black holes. And it ends with the structure in space between two black holes. So they spent 40 minutes to go from Point A to Point A, only blown up.
And I think that’d be fine for episode 9 of 16, but for the second-to-last episode ever? It feels like a lot of wheel spinning.
Mary: Eh, I didn’t mind so much. I thought it was a fun mission — sneak on board disguised as the baddies is a classic Trek move. It ended in failure — they didn’t get the tech — but also, that was kind of necessary if they wanted an excuse for Michael to step into the void (had to drive ’em to desperation first). And you knew from the moment the void showed up that she would end up in there.
Image: Paramount+
Victor: Sigh. I guess… I liked the covert mission, but it just felt oddly pointless to me since everything ended up where it started. I do get your point that they couldn’t just have Michael dive into the portal without a good reason
Mary: Yup. And they had to get Moll in there, too. Which, I guess, is why they had the Breen snatch the device.
Victor: I’m just so damn annoyed with Molly. (Argh, MOLL, Not Molly, autocorrect! Haven’t you heard me complain about her enough to get that right?) I haven’t cared about her arc at all all season.
Mary: Yeah I really don’t buy her leading the Breen. Especially since she didn’t even have any kind of fancy title. If being the wife of the Scion confers her status, shouldn’t that give her some kind of title? Instead we had a Breen dude call her by her name and that felt weird. At least Book seems to have given up on her.
Victor: And the other Breen Primarchs agree with you! They’re coming to claim Moll’s ship and troops!
The whole of Moll’s villain path just feels so weird to me. Discovery’s writers clearly want us to view her as a worthy rival to Michael and also sympathize with her character. Why else let her live this long, leading up to a series finale confrontation in the portal space?
But I don’t. I just don’t. I find her smug and irritating
Mary: Yeah, same. Which would be fine if she also seemed dangerous, but she doesn’t. Like, you don’t buy for a second that Michael can’t beat her. Again, if they’d started the season with her at the helm of a Breen ship, then maybe she would have at least felt like a credible threat. Instead, we spent half the season wondering why the entire Discovery crew couldn’t deal with two lone mercs.
Victor: Yes, and have the big reveal be it was a human bent on revenge leading the Breen. Have it be someone from last season reappear in the villain role. Heck, I’d be ok with one of those Jade Syndicate characters!
Mary: Her motivation is pretty annoying too. She just wants loooooove… well, that again doesn’t make her very threatening! Couldn’t she at least have had imperial ambitions or something?
Victor: Yeah, like she blames both the Breen and the Federation for L’ak’s death and will destroy everyone?
Mary: Imagine if she’d gone to L’ak purposely trying to claim the Breen throne… she knows he’s this disaffected Scion who ain’t like the other Breen and would be vulnerable to her wiles. Hey, maybe she falls in love along the way, but still, intentional conniving…
Victor: Were you as worried as I was that they were going to kill Saru on his diplomatic mission to slow down the other Breen ships?
Mary: Saru! I’m so excited to see him back. Yeah I’m worried he won’t last. They might give him a big sacrificial death in the finale.
Image: Paramount+
Victor: I was thinking they would kill him off and then Moll and Michael would have to fight over who gets reborn in the alien dimension. But now, I’m thinking they will end the series on Saru’s wedding.
Mary: That would be fun, if a bit eye-roll-y.
Victor: I like Saru, and we know how much this show loooves its feels
Mary: Oh speaking of loooooove… How stupid was it that Michael and Book had a heart-to-heart in the middle of their covert mission?! Just because they lamp-shaded it doesn’t mean it was less stupid. They couldn’t have had this convo BEFORE?
Victor: Ugh, yes. I thought the same thing.
Mary: I literally yelled “SERIOUSLY?!” And the way it was filmed, with the floating faces, took away from the emotional impact.
Victor: Yeah, I was all, “Come on, Disco! What are you doing?”
Mary: Because they were in their Breen costumes, they couldn’t look each other in the eye or anything. And the actors were forced to act straight to the camera rather than to a scene partner. It looked really, REALLY stupid.
Victor: Talk about the flattest possible way to have a big emotional scene
Mary: Couldn’t they have done it in the shuttle, at least? Oh, Disco.
Victor: The finale is filmed all like the confessional cam on TheReal World. Just single shots of the crew emoting.
Mary: Hah!
Victor: I would like to see Rayner’s, though. “Damn space hippies!”
Mary: I loved Tilly and Rayner’s interactions this week.
Victor: Absolutely the best. “You know why I made you acting first officer? You’re smart, you’re a good leader, and if we were in a foxhole together, I wouldn’t kill you. Unless you do more of that warm-and-fuzzy encouragement.”
Mary: That was the most Rayner thing ever
Victor: Where’s our Rayner spin off?
Mary: I also loved Tilly eyeing him and noting that he never sits in the captain’s chair. And it was clever of them to show Rhys casually getting up out of it early in the episode, which emphasizes how weird Rayner is being.
Victor: I’m sure it’s something to do with not wanting to sit in the captain’s chair again unless it’s permanently his.
Hey, you want to add romance? You could’ve done a classic slow-burn, enemies-to-lovers with Tilly and Rayner. I’d like to see that a lot more than Book and Michael sorting out their emotions.
Mary: Hah! That would have been so, so problematic. He’s her boss!!!
Victor: Oh yeah, that totally stops people in the Federation. Picard and Crusher for sure had the HR Handbook on their bedside table.
Mary: Hey we never got Janeway and Chakotay because of it.
Victor: What happens in the Delta Quadrant…
Mary: Poor Janeway had to make herself a holographic boyfriend because as the boss she couldn’t date anyone. Anyway I digress….
How fun was it seeing space dads Stamets and Culber see off space baby Adira on their first big mission?
Victor: Very cute. I liked Stamets trying to go in their place. “I can code! Just not as fast…” Sit down, old man!
Mary: Yup haha. And the look on his face when he realized Adira was volunteering. “No, not my baby!!!”
Victor: They still haven’t done anything with Culber’s spiritual awakening, aside from having him smile a lot.
Mary: Yeah I wonder if they’re going anywhere with that. I mean, there’s still a chance the Progenitors’ tech will come into play, but it’s looking unlikely since Michael has yeeted herself into another dimension.
Image: Paramount+
Victor: That’s what I mean about this being a weird episode for the second to last one. I assume that next week will be a supersized episode, and the bulk of it will take place in the portal with Moll and Michael facing off. But there are a lot of threads they threw out there this season they haven’t followed up on.
Mary: Prepare for runtime overload!
Victor: Three hours of teary Burnham.
Mary: I gotta say, the Breen have turned out to be a disappointment. There is nothing unique about them. Just another warrior race.
Victor: Yeah, they seemed cool and mysterious, but if Moll can just shoot one and take over… I did enjoy Book accidentally flirting his way into an oil bath.
Mary: Yes, that was amazing. Also the argument about paperwork. Michael had some fun this week.
Victor: The finale is the crew of Discovery and the Breen having a giant oil bath.
Mary: Hah!
Victor: What would you rate this week?
Mary: I’d say a solid 4. It was fun to watch, despite its issues.
Victor: I’ll agree. It was fun, and we got Saru and cranky Rayner.
Let me start off by saying I have never played any of the Fallout video games. As a rule, media properties that employ the creepiest song ever — technically, any minimalist song from the 1920s counts — are a strict “no thank you.” However, the commercials made it irresistible. Instead of the usual doom and gloom, blue-washed post-apocalyptic offerings, Fallout presents a brilliant, twisted, color-soaked wonderland.
That’s probably not a surprise considering who’s at the helm: Jonathan Nolan. Yes, that Jonathan Nolan, brother of Christopher, man with a hand in some of our favorite movies and shows of the last twenty years. And, while he only directs the first three episodes of season 1 (the second season has already been renewed by Amazon), he is listed as an executive producer on the series, along with Lisa Joy and Todd Howard. Don’t recognize those other two? I don’t blame you; generally, unless they are insanely famous, most people don’t know the people behind their favorite properties. Lisa Joy was exec producer on a little show calledWestworld, while Todd Howard produced and directed several entries in the Fallout videogame franchise. My guess is that money and clout is why the production value of this show is through the roof. Honestly, it’s hands down one of the most immersive looking IP based shows I’ve ever seen — which helps when you’ve never played any of the games in said IP. Speaking of, this show, thanks to those involved, includes a bevy of Easter eggs for loyal fans of the game series.
Still, none of that matters unless you have a capable cast and boy, do they! For the record, I only knew one person in this ensemble: Walton Goggins — playing both his pre and post-apocalyptic selves, Cooper Howard and the monster he becomes aka The Ghoul. But the remaining members do not disappoint. Doe-eyed human Kewpie doll Ella Purnell (probably best known as doomed teen Jackie in Yellowjackets) embodies the unbearably naïve vault dweller-cum-surface survivor, Lucy MacLean. And finally, Jonathan Majors lookalike, Aaron Moten, is squire Maximus a cowardly lion hoping to find his courage in the wasteland. These three hardworking actors anchor the series as the main focus points the audience follows.
They each do an excellent job of conveying their experience of life in the wasteland, with Maximus and Lucy’s side of things being more informative of the present, and The Ghoul’s tale covering the past mistakes that got us here. For my money The Ghoul is easily the most interesting character in the whole season, with Lucy a close second, and Maximus being a far behind third. His character, to me, is the weakest. However, this might be on purpose considering where he comes from and how he was raised.
Let’s get into our episode breakdowns before I give my overall season evaluation. Since the show primarily follows three leads, I’ll break down the episodes by their storylines instead of going in sequential order, except for the first episode because of the unique nature of The Ghoul’s story.
“The End”
Can’t know where you’re going if you don’t know where you’ve been, so first and foremost is a trip to the before-times. Amid the threat of nuclear war between America and China, the country does its best to carry on as usual. Here we see a children’s birthday party where the main attraction is former famed movie star Cooper Howard. Howard tries to assure his young daughter Janey (Teagan Meredith) that everything is fine, even getting her a slice of cake, but then nuclear hell breaks loose. Cut to 219 years later…
Welcome to Vault-life, where you can have casual sex with your cousin, live in a controlled and “safe” environment, and participate in an inter-vault breeding program to ensure the continuation of the human race. Unfortunately for Lucy, her honeymoon is more of a Red Wedding that belies a sinister underbelly to the idyllic life she’s always known. When her father, Overseer Hank MacLean (hello Kyle MacLachlan!) is kidnapped, Lucy does the impossible and braves the surface world to bring him back.
Unlike the vaults, life above is far from peaceful, just look at the Brotherhood of Steel. Something like a military school on steroids, the Brotherhood has fully embraced the practices of the Knights Templar complete with a quasi-religious justification of their lust for power. Maximus, though he takes the lumps his fellow initiates give him, winds up on the wrong side of Elder Cleric Quintus (played to creepy perfection by actor Michael Cristofer), yet is miraculously made a squire and sent out on an important mission.
Said mission is also the reason three unscrupulous types (hello Mykelti Williamson, Jacob A. Ware, and Jacob A. Ware) dig up our friend The Ghoul. While it doesn’t go well for them, it sets our series up for some standards we can expect. One — the wanted man will quickly bind our three leads’ stories together, two — The Ghoul’s pre-apocalypse self will fill us in on how we got to this horrific present, and three — surprises abound in the wasteland.
The pilot episode is fantastic. As I’ve written before, a good pilot should establish the overall tone of the show, introduce most (if not all) of the main characters, and set up the major plotlines of the season. This pilot easy leaps over all those bars. While our three main characters are revealed those in their orbits aren’t bit players either, as we’ll see. My favorite thing about the pilot is that The Ghoul’s story serves as a bookend, covering not only the past but the present as well. He has seen some shit, and it shows.
“The Target”
The titular man is one Doctor Wilzig (Michael Emerson in possibly his most likeable role), a scientist for the Enclave who rescues a puppy from the incinerator, injects himself with company property, and, after his dog (CX404) kills the person who discovers his thievery, flees the premises. He’s planning on taking that stolen property across the wasteland to one Lee Moldaver (Sarita Choudhury). It’s a solid plan until his foot gets shot off and he decides the best way to help the world is to commit suicide and leave his head in trustworthy hands.
Those hands belong to none other than Lucy MacLean. As a vault dweller raised in a meritocracy, Lucy is the perfect person to finish Wilzig’s mission, plus, as a bonus, it’ll take her to the woman who led the raiders into Vault 33 and kidnapped her dad. But, the surface isn’t at all what Lucy was expecting, filled with gross, weird, and disturbing sights, where the people are rude, unkind, and, most importantly, untrustworthy. Still, she manages to make her way to Filly, kind of make a friend, and dig deep to do the decapitating that needs doing.
Speaking of Filly, the bustling wasteland downtown is the destination Maximus and his Knight Titus are set to investigate, but instead Titus gets himself dead by being a straight up asshole (What!? You’re kidding!), and dropping down into the woods for funsies. Granted, the radiated bear attack (a Yao Guai) paired with insulting then threatening his only lifeline did not help. On the bright side, Maximus now has a power armor suit. He even uses it to save someone, and tries to use it against The Ghoul.
Our legendary bounty hunter means to get the doctor, but fake Titus and real Lucy get in his way. It’s a splendid action sequence that ends with Titus being set off into the Wilds’ blue yonder, and CX404 being healed by The Ghoul in order to track down her daddy.
Following a perfect pilot is no easy feat, but when Jonathan Nolan is helming your first three episodes consider them all to be bangers. The attention to detail in here in terms of the wasteland inhabitants, Easter eggs, and skills of our party members really contribute to a stellar second episode. And while Lucy’s interactions with this strange new world are both hilarious and jarring, it’s Maximus’ story that I feel tells the most about him.
Maximus is a child, mentally speaking; you can see how excited he is on the helicopter, like a kid on Christmas. Watching him crash to reality is heartbreaking. All that blissful ignorance is destroyed within minutes of being around his Knight. Titus, by extension, is a sad man. His life’s purpose is a lie and the suit gives him his only joy. Michael Rapaport plays a fantastic douche who reveals himself to be an abused man that doesn’t know any better and pays for it with his life. Here we learn what the Brotherhood’s legacy really is.
“The Head”
Lucy and The Ghoul come together after the doctor’s disembodied head is snatched by a monster (a giant mutant axolotl possibly called a Gulper). The Ghoul has an idea of how to retrieve it, which involves live bait, but that backfires and leads to the destruction of his drug stash. Displeased, the bounty hunter takes Lucy hostage and sets off on a side quest.
Maximus’s day isn’t going any better. He’s lied to the Brotherhood about being Titus, almost lost his suit to thieves, and discovers his newly assigned squire is one of his former tormentors: Thaddeus (Johnny Pemberton playing another hapless dope). Though wearing the suit allows Maximus to hide his identity from Thaddeus and get a little revenge in, he doesn’t entirely perpetuate the cycle of abuse. When facing off against the Gulper, Maximus allows his squire to seek safe cover, which in the end saves both their lives.
Saving or ending lives is a question the denizens of Vault 33 have to deal with. While Chet (Lucy’s hot cousin played by Dave Register) and Norm (Lucy’s dour brother embodied by Moises Arias), face punishment for their parts in helping Lucy leave, the remaining raiders are another story. Should they be rehabilitated and integrated into vault society? Or…per Norm’s thinking, should they be killed? Stephanie Harper (Annabel O’Hagan) — whose beloved husband was killed in the attack — agrees with Norm. Still, the rest of the council balks at the notion.
How does someone handle their enemies? It used to be heroes wouldn’t get their hands dirty, but Cooper Howard (in the before-times) is getting a harsh lesson in how the world is changing. Men of honor and dignity are no longer the norm, instead it’s destroy your enemy completely — especially the Red ones. He’s not thrilled but his wife Barbara (Frances Turner) shows up with a new opportunity. Meet the new ad mascot of Vault-tec!
This is the last episode directed by Jonathan Nolan, and it sets up two significant reoccurring subplots that have only been hinted at thus far. The Ghoul’s past and those left behind in Vault 33. The Ghoul’s story reveals that he’s not just some random actor who happened to survive the end of the world — he was the spokesman for the vault-life that was Lucy’s norm. Conversely, the Vault 33 story reveals that those topside may not have an honest understanding of their underground brethren. Vault dwellers, though raised in a meritocracy, are not as simple as the surface would have you believe.
“The Ghouls”
Out in the desert The Ghoul and Lucy continue their walk. Things get violent when she tries to escape but he succeeds in delivering her to a Super Duper Mart in exchange for vials. The plucky vault dweller avoids getting her organs harvested, however in her zeal for justice is almost killed by feral ghouls. All in all she manages to keep herself intact, sure, there’s some blood on her hands but she also grants The Ghoul mercy just to show him the Golden Rule, motherfucker. He takes her generosity, goes into the Super Duper Mart, and goes on a bender.
In Vault 33 as council members Reg McPhee (Rodrigo Luzzi) and Woody Thomas (Zach Cherry) fiercely campaign for the position of Overseer, Betty Pearson (Deadpool’s Leslie Uggams) gives some unsolicited advice to a sullen Norm. Chet’s unexpected labor drama is thankfully interrupted when Norm suggests a trip to Vault 32. The carnage they find isn’t recent, and some of it is self-inflicted. What happened? More importantly, how was Rose’s (Norm and Lucy’s mom, Elle Vertes) Pip Boy used to open the vault door???
The first episode not directed by Nolan does an excellent job of living up to the legacy of the previous three. Maintaining the humor and horror of the series so far, the two stories we see tell equally dark tales with the purpose of character and world exploration.
The Ghoul is a man brought down by the events of his life, and seeing Lucy hurts, a reminder of who he used to be — that movie he sees in the Super Duper Mart was the moment he began to fall. First his fictional character and then his actual character. His efforts to drag Lucy down to his level seem to be a means of justifying how he got there himself, if he can only break her too. It’s no wonder that after he’s failed, he takes comfort in drugs and nostalgia.
Meanwhile, the vault drama not only solidifies there’s more to vault-life than meets the eye, it might be downright sinister in nature. Norm is an interesting character given his near Eeyore levels of pessimism and abject disinterest, why is he so determined to find the truth? He seems to hate himself for not standing up to the raiders, yet, when confronted with confessing to this feeling he simply asks Betty if it would matter if he did. Chet too, presents a contradiction in this way, willing to go exploring with Norm yet reluctant to draw any real conclusions from what they find. It’s a good presentation of learned helplessness given the chance to break free, but ever uneasy about said freedom. We all love the devil we know, right?
“The Past”
Thaddeus and Maximus bond over getting the head, but it’s not enough when the false Knight reveals himself to his newly branded squire, and he winds up trapped in his own power armor; headless (ha ha ha, couldn’t help myself). Lucy, tracking the head, comes across him and, in exchange for much needed medical care, rescues him. They then team up to find the head. It’s a rough journey that only further cinches Lucy’s hatred of the surface world, but it ends with them in the best place possible: a vault!
Chet and Norm finish up their exploration of Vault 32, vowing to tell no one of their side mission. Naturally, Betty asks them almost instantly where they’ve been and both are poor liars. Still, Betty’s got bigger fish to fry because it’s voting day. She easily smokes the competition, and quickly holds a meeting to discuss what to do about Vault 32. The powers that be have decided to resettle the abandoned vault, and wouldn’t you know it, the place is suddenly pristine. Norm’s distrust leads him to a staggering discovery: every single Overseer for Vault 33 has come from Vault 31…
It’s odd that this episode is called “The Past” since not much history is explored in terms of Cooper Howard — in fact, neither he nor The Ghoul appear in this episode at all. Instead Lucy and Maximus meet proper and get together, roaming the wasteland as he fills her in on the past, which in and of itself isn’t a very detailed scene. The biggest reveal for her is that reclamation day (the whole purpose of the vaults) already happened in a place called Shady Sands, and it failed. So, perhaps the title is a reference to the vault side of things?
This is more likely, since it’s clear whatever happened in Vault 32 happened a long time ago. There’s also the voting day aspect — where the helpful phrase “When things look glum vote for somebody from Vault 31!” is initially presented as a throwaway slogan only to later be brought up as potential subliminal messaging when paired with a conveniently timed tragedy — see Hank vs. Davey (great job Leer Leary, we know you voted for Betty). Norm is certainly suspicious.
“The Trap”
Lucy and Maximus are welcomed into Vault 4 where they regularly take in surface dwellers. Only rule: don’t go to level 12. Maximus slowly acclimates to vault life, eventually enjoying it, whereas Lucy swiftly comes to distrust it, eventually breaking the one rule.
The Ghoul runs afoul of “the Govermint”, but he’s not very concerned. He effortlessly frees himself from the bad situation, and even picks up a new lead.
Cooper Howard’s endorsement of Vault-tec has crossed over from print ads to infomercials. But, the work, though profitable, has cost him some friends. One of his remaining few, Sebastian Leslie (hi, Matt Berry!), complains that Hollywood has gone Red. Another, Charles Whiteknife (Dallas Goldtooth) encourages Howard to attend a meeting at Hollywood Forever – see what they’re really about. After a fight with his wife, Howard gives in and goes to the meeting. It’s run by Lee Moldaver.
Moldaver turns out to be a theme in this episode — showing up in the Vault 4 storyline, The Ghoul’s storyline, and Cooper Howard’s storyline. To the vault refugees she’s “The Flame Mother”, founder of Shady Sands who will rise from the ashes. To Cooper Howard, she’s the woman who turns him against his meal ticket (not that he was overly loyal to begin with). And to The Ghoul, she’s an excuse to stay in the story.
But there’s a lot more to this episode than just Lee. The biggest theme is biased. You’ve got Overseer Benjamin (the hilarious Chris Parnell), who doesn’t like that his vault takes in surface dwellers and isn’t happy having to “tolerate” their outsider ways. He comes off as a classic racist until you pay attention to Lucy. This is probably the first time we’ve really seen Lucy in the wrong — her preconceived notion of what vault inhabitants should look like is the driving force of her distrust in Vault 4. Maximus, with his childish mentality, only distrusts the way he’s treated because he isn’t used to people being nice (makes sense given the world he’s lived in up until now), none of his responses to those around him are based on their appearance.
Lastly, there’s the title itself. Maximus worries that Vault 4 is a trap, he and Lucy have entered into a cult. Lucy later fears he was right, especially after that weird surface dweller ritual. Meanwhile, Cooper and Sebastian are in “The Trap” of capitalism. Berry’s character makes a chillingly accurate insight that everything is a product, including people, and profits are all that matter, while Whiteknife rightly points out that capitalism demands war since the government decided to outsource it to a publicly traded company.
“The Radio”
Lucy is set straight about what she saw on level 12 with the added implication that her vault is also running an experiment. However, since she broke the one rule, and threw acid on Dr. “Nose” Edmondson (Harry Sutton Jr.), Lucy is sentenced to death… by banishment to the surface. Maximus, misunderstanding the situation, steals the vault’s fusion core and fires up his power armor in violent retaliation. Lucy intervenes so he doesn’t kill anyone, but they are both booted from the vault. The experience bonds them, and later leads to a kiss.
Thaddeus, complete with injured foot, heads to the titular radio to communicate with the Brotherhood but is unwittingly turned into a ghoul on his way. Since the Brotherhood has a plan for ghouls (destroy them all), he knows he’s fucked. He’s worried when Lucy and Maximus show up, going so far as to fire at them wildly (he’s a terrible shot without a scope), funnily enough though he didn’t have to. Maximus has no hard feelings, even giving the guy a running head start to flee the incoming Brotherhood.
Vault 33 sees the raiders die, of rat poison, and an innocent vault dweller held accountable. Woody claims this will be a big deal, but Betty just brushes it off with some “thoughts and prayers” bullshit before sending out the new vault assignments via Pip Boy. When Woody’s refusal to leave almost leads to violent enforcement, and Stephanie (who comes from Vault 31) is made interim Overseer, Norm takes action.
The Ghoul gets information the bloody way, rescues CX404 from a soda fridge, and gives her the name Dogmeat. In the before-times Cooper Howard meets with Moldaver who says she isn’t a communist. She claims she’s a scientist whose research would have ended the resource war until it was shelved by Vault-tec. She then gives him a bug and encourages him to spy on his wife for the truth.
This episode’s title only applies to Thaddeus and Cooper Howard. It also allows for Fred Armisen to cameo as DJ Carl, a music enthusiast who DOES NOT like criticism. Carl reminds me of Betty – ever self-righteous even when killing people (pretty sure she poisoned those prisoners). Completely convinced of their innocence despite the horrible things they’ve done. It’s a fine line for an actor to walk, bringing to life a black and white villain who appears grey, and Uggams does a stupendous job.
“The Beginning”
Maximus delivers the wrong head to the Brotherhood but still manages to come out on top (thanks Dane — Xelia Mendes-Jones!) His plans for living in the vaults with Lucy might be fucked, but a successful attack on the Griffith Observatory lands him Knighthood, and cold fusion.
Lucy delivers the right head to Moldaver, allowing her dream of cold fusion to become a reality, but the mission doesn’t end as planned. Her dad isn’t who she thought, to the point that when given the choice Lucy picks The Ghoul over Hank!
Speaking of, The Ghoul gets to the party a little late but leaves an impression. We don’t see him confront Moldaver, instead he sets his sights on Hank (or Henry as Howard knew him). A brief exchange ends with a flesh wound and a bloody trail that The Ghoul hopes will lead to his family via the real person in charge.
Who is the mysterious figure Barb looks up to see in her ominous meeting in the before-times? We don’t find out, but we are treated to the knowledge that Vault-tec might have been the ones to drop the bombs in an effort to control the future once and for all.
Part of that control involves a program known as Bud’s buds. Meet Bud Askins (Michael Esper), something of a dark running joke throughout the series that culminates in a disturbing revelation made when Norm enters Vault 31. Our dour scout has found the answers he sought at terrible personal cost.
What an ending! A good season finale should set up for future seasons (we know season 2 has been green-lit) either by planting last minute plots which can continue later on, or, by leaving some existing plots unresolved. Fallout opts for both.
The before-times storyline appears to be complete but my biggest question is did Vault-tec actually drop the bomb? Hear me out — while we see Barb make the argument for why they should, we know for a fact that when the bombs actually fall Cooper and Barb are not together. And I don’t mean, in physical proximity, I mean people at the birthday party are joking about him having to pay alimony, which means they are divorced. That indicates more to this story. The other hint we haven’t been told everything is The Ghoul asking Hank where his family is. We know Janey was with him when the bombs dropped, but where is she now? And where is Barb? Did the shadowy figure at the Vault-tec power pow-wow have something to do with her disappearance? Did they contribute to Cooper becoming a ghoul?
Aside from that, the obvious open plotlines are as follows: Will Norm take up in his father’s pod? If so, for how long? Will Chet grow a pair and seek out his friend? What the fuck actually happened in Vault 32? While we’re at it, what’s up with that water filtration issue in Vault 33?
On the surface side: What’s gonna happen to Thaddeus? How will the Brotherhood handle having power? Now that Maximus is a Knight can he just bail and go search for Lucy? Where is Hank going? Will Cooper find his family? Oh yeah, and what of Dogmeat? Has she adopted The Ghoul as her new master, because up until now she’s been strongly dedicated to Wilzig’s head, yet at the end when The Ghoul leaves with Lucy, CX404 is in tow.
Downsides:
While it is a beautiful series filled with colorful characters, insane storylines, and awesome action scenes Fallout isn’t without flaws.
One of my biggest complaints about the last episode is Maximus being alive. The man not only takes a full hit to an unguarded head from a power armor suit, but he then additionally smacks that skull onto another unforgiving surface. The man is dead. No questions.
Also, why doesn’t The Ghoul use his knowledge of the power armor suits in his initial fight with Maximus at Filly? A classic plot hole, and if the show wasn’t bingeable, you might not have noticed the first time you watched it — if you watched it weekly.
Also, also, I don’t quite understand the Snake Oil Salesman (Jon Daly). Granted, I don’t exactly understand the ghouls in general, but SOS makes less sense than most. For one thing, why does he try to kill himself? Consequently, why does he give up on suicide in order to convert Thaddeus into a ghoul? It doesn’t make any sense. He’s seen several times trying to peddle his wares (elixirs that will presumably turn people into ghouls), but for what purpose? One argument could be that since ghouls are in constant need of vials, he’s constantly selling in order to keep up an eternal drug habit – ok, that tracks, but when we see him with the gun to his mouth, he doesn’t appear to be going feral. Unlike The Ghoul, or Roger (Neal Huff), or Martha (Alexa Marcigliano), he’s not coughing, weak, or trying to remind himself who he is. But hey, maybe that’s a question we’ll get answered in season 2.
Speaking of ghouls, why didn’t Moldaver prevent Rose from going feral? Pretty sure she has the resources and even if she doesn’t, she’s got dedicated followers who would have happily scavenged or killed for vials.
Lastly, I’m not a fan of how weak The Ghoul’s story was at the end. He builds up gradually after taking Lucy hostage, having that breakthrough moment at the Super Duper Mart, and then just loses it in order to find Moldaver. Gives up on the head hunt to find her, and when he actually goes to where she is, it’s not Lee he confronts, it’s Hank! The fuck!? I don’t really get it. Moldaver is painted as the reason his marriage was destroyed (granted his wife suggesting Vault-tec drop an atom bomb for absolute control doesn’t help), and his desire to find her is assumedly tied to that, but nope! The Ghoul doesn’t even try to find her when he arrives at Hollywood forever. She’s really only important for cold fusion, and the truth about Lucy’s mother and father.
Overall opinion:
Fallout is a fantastic series even if it hints at the showrunners a little hard. The main story, a girl on a journey to rescue her father, may not feel familiar, but the other plots? Very Westworld heavy. The boy becoming a man and the gunslinger with a complicated past speak heavily towards the robot girl becoming human and the…gunslinger with a complicated past. But I think the biggest argument for Westworld undertones are the side stories. Life in the vaults paired with what we learn from the before-times gives us a distinctly dystopian vision of how the wasteland came to be. Much like the dark HBO series, Fallout leans on the idea that all is not what it seems – sure the surface looks great, but dig deeper and there will be blood.
However, where Westworld is an exercise in glum, nihilistic conjecture and condemnation of the human race and its future, Fallout doesn’t feel this way at all. For one thing, as mentioned, Fallout is funny. Genuinely, laugh out loud at times, funny. This is because the range of characters employed in the storytelling works perfectly to juxtapose many of the grimmer aspects of the world they inhabit. Not to mention that many of the side characters are also in on the joke, not concerned with selling some noble philosophical debate they can be silly, or call into question the insanity around them.
It’s a wildly successful concoction from what I’ve seen. For an outlandish premise, an outlandish execution is the best course of action, but the key is the cast, set design, attention to detail, and direction. While Goggins, Purnell, and Moten are put through the ringer they rise to the challenge every time. I may not be the biggest Maximus fan, I might not buy his and Lucy’s love story, but damn if Moten didn’t sell it as best he could. Purnell’s heartbreak at the conclusion of her journey is brutal but you buy it – you buy the mercy killing of her mother, even her joining up with The Ghoul. As for Goggins…he really should get an Emmy for this, but you know he won’t (the academy doesn’t usually respect sci-fi shows, sadly). His dual performance as Cooper Howard and The Ghoul presents a fully realized character.
I highly recommend you take a trip to this weird and wonderful wasteland.
UVS Games’ Universus CCG is returning to the world of My Hero Academia with the all-new set ‘Girl Power’ releasing on May 24th, 2024. Girl Power focuses on the powerful female characters of the hit anime. With Alternate Art cards and serialized Chrome Rares returning, it will surely be a collector’s dream. You can watch Rob unbox and give his first impressions of the new set below.
For more information, including which of your local game stores carry Universus, visit uvsgames.com!
It’s tough being a Dungeon Master. You set create a fun and challenging adventure for your party. You carefully plot out monsters and traps they will encounter. You meticulously map out a dungeon full of tricks and treasure.
And then the characters cheerfully stomp all over your plans by deciding to go off map, or failing their saving throws and dying in the first five minutes, or just deciding to go all Leroy Jenkins on a dragon’s den. Or the random roll of a die gifts them with an incredibly powerful item that lets them stroll right through all the monsters you put in their way.
Player characters can be real jerks like that.
But, that is also part of the fun and charm of the game of Dungeons and Dragons. Although you are trying to hit plot points in your adventure, side quests and character choices can have major repercussions later in the game. And a good DM can always plan for the proclivities of the players. (Once, when I had a party of real “look before you leap” types, I set up a coal cart on the top of a hill, knowing that they’d hop in and ride down. Of course, they didn’t see the Gelatinous Cube that was waiting for them at the bottom of the mine…) The chaos is part of the fun.
It is also a big part of the charm of The Twenty-Sided Tavern, an interactive comedy show that is currently running at the Stage 42 theater, just west of Times Square. I went to see it with editor emeritus of The Workprint, Christian Angeles.
Christian Angeles (L) and Victor Catano (R) roll for initiative.
The show is, to use a phrase I learned in critic school, a hoot and a half. It’s an absolute blast. It’s an extremely fun version of the kind of campaign you’d run with your good friends, one where you are more interested in hanging out than leveling up.
When you enter the theater (after posing for some obligatory selfies with a giant D20), you are told to take out your cell phone. Yes, that’s right. Turn it on and leave it on. You’ll need to scan a QR code in the program so you can participate in the show. This links to a Gamiotic site that will allow you to vote on which characters are going to be in the show, different paths the characters can take, and puzzles that need to be solved to progress.
You also get a sticker in your program, and the color determines if you are in the Warrior, Mage, or Trickster cohort. I got Warrior, and the day we were there, the character choices for the warrior were “Monk With a Dark Secret” or “Bro-iest Bro.” Bro-Barian won, so the Warrior slot was filled by a chill dude party dwarf, who was all about working on his best self.
Other votes include mundane things like “How will the party duck their bar tab?” The options were Honesty or Deception, and Deception won. When it was revealed that the difficulty of the task required an extremely high roll (over 18 on a 20-sided die), the audience groaned. This prompted the on-stage DM to scold us with, “Hey Actions, meet my friend Consequences.” Fortunately, the party’s clever deception (of faking a slip and fall) succeeded as our Mage got a high roll. Oh yes, the characters on stage all roll for saving throws and damage, and there are little cameras on their dice to show the audience so they don’t fudge anything.
So, in effect, you really are watching people play a game of D&D, albeit played a lot more broadly and for comedic effect. And because the actors are all skilled at improv, it’s really fun to watch. The audience got extremely invested in the game, bursting out in cheers when a character rolled a natural 20, which let the Warrior launch an attacking street urchin into a low orbit. And each character gets a “mulligan,” or a re-roll, once per game. When the Warrior failed a crucial saving throw in the dungeons, the cries of “RE-ROLL” from the audience were deafening.
The audience is also tasked with naming the NPCs (Non-Player Characters), that is, the townsfolk and people the players encounter. This led to the villain of our story being named Mayor Cupcake. (Don’t let the name fool you. He wasn’t very sweet.) And the audience as a whole was really into the show. I thought I was being cool by wearing my Beholder t-shirt, but many people were decked out in D&D swag, some in full cosplay.
So, this is a slam-dunk recommendation to anyone who has ever rolled for initiative or knows what THAC0 means.
But what if you aren’t a D&D person? Well, the basic rules get explained by the Tavern Keeper, who doubles as an assistant DM to help keep the show moving along. They also get projected on the video screen before the show, but this is really more about the broad comedy and the improv. So, if you like fun, I think you’ll be fine.
And because the characters and audience decisions can change with every show, you can see it many times and not see the same one twice. Which I encourage you to do, because this was a ton of fun.
Once more into the breach! Discovery is racing against the Breen, now with assistance from Moll, to get to the Archive and find the next clue. But, as soon as Michael touches the book, she gets trapped inside her own mind and must find the clue to escape before time runs out and the Breen destroy both the Discovery and the Archive. As always, I’m joined by fellow Trek enthusiast Mary Fan. Let’s dive right in.
Victor: So, I read the episode description for this week on Paramount Pus, and when I did I groaned audibly. “Burnham must make a meaningful and emotionally challenging journey to prove she is worthy.” I texted that to you with the comment that Paramount woke up today and chose violence. I mean, there’s no way they could post a description like that and NOT be trolling us, right?
Mary: Indeed, we’ve talked at length about how Disco tends to care more about its characters’ trauma than its plots. Really, they should call the show Self-Discovery *rimshot.* So when I saw that description, I was like “greeeeeat, we’re gonna get a whole episode of Michael trauma-dumping.”
Victor: And, surprisingly, the episode WASN’T that. Well, not entirely that. I thought this was peak Discovery, in all the ways both good and bad. The good: nifty action scenes, the engineering team using science under pressure to stop the Breen, the treasure hunt plot progressing…
The bad: Michael has to acknowledge her fear to proceed. Annoying villain has now somehow commandeered the Breen fleet. Personal trauma! Facepalm.
Mary: Hah, so true! Moll’s abrupt takeover of the Breen didn’t quite fly with me given how xenophobic they were. That said, it does set us up for a better final confrontation. I found myself wishing that they had done this at the beginning… if Moll mysteriously had control of the Breen from the start, and it’s revealed over the course of the season that she was married to the late Scion, trying to bring him back to life, etc. And that they were purposely seeking the tech for resurrection.
“Oh, what a coincidence” is the weakest plot device EVER. And so far, Moll’s storyline has been filled with of coincidences. She just HAPPENS to be in the vicinity of L’ak, who HAPPENS to be the Scion, and she HAPPENS to fall in love, and they HAPPEN to find the info about the Progenitors’ tech, etc., etc.… even L’ak’s death was an accident!
Breen Queen. Image: Paramount+
Victor: Yeah, this feels like trying to have their cake and eat it, too. Mysterious villain… who is also a scrappy underdog! And just wants to love! And you’re right, there is literally NO WAY that a xenophobic empire would all pledge fealty to the outsider who killed their leader. Like, none. They tried real hard to set it up with some meaningful glances between Moll and her guard. Like, “Ooh, the Primarch is going a little crazy, huh?” But that does not a revolution make.
Mary: Nope. If she’d somehow had years to set up this situation, then, fine. But it literally happens overnight.
Victor: And it’s a shame that too much of this episode is focused on the Unsinkable Moll-y Breen, because there is a lot of good stuff here! The space library is a cool as I’d hoped it to be. I half expected Belle to come rolling out on a ladder and start singing. The archivists were great, friendly yet strict.
Mary: Hah! I was kind of disappointed by it! I thought it would look more alien, rather than like something pandering to Disney adults on BookTok. Why does a thousand-year-old intergalactic library have so many books from 1800s Earth?
Victor: Because shut up, that’s why.
Mary: Also I was disappointed by their defenses. I was hoping this mysterious Archive had a secret super weapon. Like, you think they’re a bunch of library nerds, but they’re secretly harboring killer drones. Especially since Hy’Rell seemed kind of sinister. Like she’s nice when you’re nice, but cross her and die.
Image: Paramount+
Victor: Yeah, that would’ve been smart. Or a super impenetrable shield.
Mary: But it turned out their only protocol was, “Oh, we have your culture’s artifacts.”
That said I loved Hy’Rell. She was the perfect amount of kooky.
Victor: But this did lead to one of my favorite things in all of Trek: science saving the day! Reno, Adira, and Stamets figure out how to short-circuit the Breen’s shield-boring device by tricking it into using the wrong harmonics.
Mary: Totally! I love that we’ve had a chance to see the engineers nerding out more lately.
Victor: Tig Notaro has some great lines here. It feels like they had her this season for maybe 4 days of shooting between comedy tours, and they tried to make the most of them.
Mary: That is probably entirely accurate.
Victor: So, what did you think of Michael solving the Labyrinth by admitting that she has to feel fear? Was it as cringey as you expected?
Image: Paramount+
Mary: Pretty much. Though Digital Book had a point about self-awareness. So many people are UNwilling to admit the uglier sides of themselves. I also liked that Digital Book (E-Book?) asked straight-up why Michael thought she should get the tech. It’s been pretty much assumed all season that the answer is, “Because she’s the main character.” So it was nice to see someone at least force her to examine the question.
Image: Paramount+
Victor: It was a little too on the nose that Michael complained about “psychobabble” in the labyrinth. Like, have you watched the show you’re on?
Mary: Right?! Hey writers, are y’all reading this and making fun of us?
Victor: It kinda felt like it! Serves us right for watching this all the way to the end.
Mary: Oh Disco… No matter how you disappoint me, I just can’t quit you. Wait am I in a toxic relationship with Star Trek?!
Victor: Maybe we’re enablers.
Mary: There’s some psychobabble for you, Disco!
Victor: Which reminds me, I did like the dad joke the archivist made. “It’s not often that a Book comes to visit the library!” Come on, how can you be mad at a show with that in it?
Mary: I did enjoy that. Hy’Rell was one of my fave parts of this episode. I’ll bet she becomes a cosplay favorite.
Victor: And it was very clever of Michael to fake the destruction of the Discovery in order to buy some time.
Mary: Yeah that was great. Though, I gotta say, “Let’s fly!” isn’t the best line for that move. Y’all aren’t flying. Y’all are floating cuz you wrecked your own engines.
Victor: And I am also sure that every Trek fan would have done the same trade Michael did. “If I give you the location of the Progenitors, the universe could be destroyed, but if I don’t you’ll blow up the library… SAVE THE BOOKS!”
Mary: Indeed! By the way, what did you think of the librarian casually handing over that cutting to Book? I thought it was a nice moment for Book but kind of a dick move if there are more of his people out there…
Victor: I thought it was interesting. I’m wondering if there is going to payoff at the Progenitors’ lair. Like, that is how they create a new home world? Otherwise, it was a very Discovery moment. “We respect the artifacts of your culture, and we will return them to the rightful owners when asked.”
Mary: “But only if you’re a series regular who is conveniently here to have a teary closeup.”
Victor: The series finale: Michael, Book, and Tilly cry for 43 minutes straight.
Mary: Wasn’t that half the episodes in Season 3?
Victor: If we’re being generous. Half might be a bit low.
Mary: Oh, Disco. We mock with love.
Image: Paramount+
Victor: Any thoughts on the last two episodes? Will Moll resurrect L’ak and turn on the Breen? Will Michael use the power of persuasion to convince the Progenitors to let her have the tech? Will all that stuff with Culber being spiritual have a pay off? Exactly how long will the teary goodbyes be?
Mary: I think Moll will betray the Breen in time to save Brother Book from something (they hinted at her having that attachment when she stopped the Primark from destroying the Archive), thus earning her Main Character Redemption. She’ll resurrect L’ak and give Book a big teary hug goodbye then fly off into the sunset, while Michael gives a big, long, breathy speech that magically convinces the Breen to stop feuding and make peace with the Federation, if not join it. The Progenitors’ tech will “choose” Michael because she’s the main character, but Culber will be possessed again. This time by a Progenitor. Because spiritually awakening.
Victor: 10/10, no notes.
So, what do we rate this one? I though it was peak Discovery, both good and bad, so that gets it a 3 from me.
Mary: Yeah 3. Would have been 3.5 but then… Moll.
Victor: And I’ll bet they aren’t going to do my preferred ending. “Moll accidentally opens an airlock and gets sucked into space.”
Mary: Due to nothing that could be blamed on our blameless Main Characters.
Welcome back, treasure hunters! We are around the turn and into the home stretch of Discovery‘s final season. Including this one, we are down to our last four episodes.
After Discovery found a new clue on the desert planet, Moll and an injured L’ak were captured by a Federation ship that heard their distress call. They get beamed aboard the Discovery for medical care, but just then Admiral Vance beams aboard to tell them that the Breen also heard that distress call and are on their way to take Moll and L’ak for their own. Burnham has to engage in some high stakes diplomacy to keep a war with the hostile Breen from breaking out and also to give her crew time to crack the next clue.
Image: Paramount+
Mary: So for a change, I got to watch this week’s episode before you did, and when I saw how heavily Moll was featured I was like, “Oh, dear, Victor ain’t gonna like this…”
Victor: And you were right! This is why we’re friends. I’m not a violent person, but when Moll made her inevitable escape attempt, I was dearly hoping her guard would lay her out.
Mary: Hah! Yeah a big problem with this whole season is that so much hinges on Moll, and she just isn’t a very compelling character. Her tragic backstory is pretty blah, her mannerisms remind me of a rich girl trying too hard to play rebel, and her motivations are completely, ridiculously selfish. It’s hard to feel sympathy for a character who would let civilization fall for her own happiness. And also, she was introduced as such a weaksauce villain that we have no attachment to her.
Victor: I just find her so irritating. They’re working so hard to make her seem like a bad ass, but she’s just a pouty pain in the ass. I see her defeating guards and eluding Burnham and I just think, “She can’t keep getting away with this!”
Mary: I feel like the writers fell in love with their Moll and L’ak tragic romance and featured it heavily — at the expense of the Discovery crew.
Victor: You know, I don’t mind the romance. It’s maybe the only quality of Moll I like.
Mary: Yeah, I don’t mind the romance as a plot angle. I mind that it is so, SO heavily featured, with two characters we were only just introduced to this season. I think Moll gets more screen time than any of the Discovery crew members other than Michael. Which is irritating.
Victor: More than Saru! His President girlfriend showed up and he wasn’t there! Why not have him lead the diplomatic mission? Isn’t that his job now?
Mary: Makes me wonder if Doug Jones is just over that Kelpian make-up.
So the big twist of this episode was that *gasp* L’ak died! Which made me roll my eyes so hard. I couldn’t even feel one iota of pity. It’d have been one thing if the death had been an interesting one. But it feels like the show was going out of its way to off L’ak without it being anyone’s fault (except his own, I guess). I mean, he accidentally impales himself on his own weapon, and then he accidentally overdoses as part of a boneheaded escape plan?! Give this dude a Darwin Award.
Image: Paramount+
Victor: You know, I was 1000% sure that his death was a fake out. Like he was in some kind of Breen coma so the Federation would let their guard down. But that would’ve been interesting.
Mary: Maybe it’s just because I’m starved for a good baddie, but I was pretty excited by the Breen this week. That giant ship is pretty bad ass, and they were as ruthless as you would expect the Breen to be.
Victor: Yeah, they seem menacing! Scary! And I did like how this week the Discovery crew used diplomacy in the classic Trek style.
Mary: Yes, that was very Trek! And I liked that they brought in Rayner’s home planet. I was kind of wondering whether we’d get any back story on him.
Victor: They didn’t rely on Michael getting all touchy-feely; they got good info and leveraged it.
Mary: Yes, this week was mercifully light on the feelings-heavy monologues full of softly lit close-ups. Also, I kind of love that the Breen DO NOT GIVE A DAMN about the Federation. They’re dealing with their internal power struggle, and the Federation is just this pesky thing that’s getting in the way of someone getting the true-blooded emperor descendent or whatever the hell L’ak’s supposed to be.
Victor: The term is Scion. You know, like that boxy car Toyota used to make.
It was great to see Michael (who, remember, was raised on Vulcan) use logic. “Hmm, I doubt that they would come this far into Federation space merely for the blood feud. What is the bigger issue?” And quickly deduces that L’ak is key to the war of succession on Breen
Mary: True! I keep forgetting that Michael is supposed to be Spock’s sister.
Victor: And to your point about Rayner, I was so glad they finally addressed his past rather than just let his crew mates think he’s a xenophobic racist.
Mary: I feel like this season is really suffering from being a shortened one. If we’d had a full 22-26 episodes, maybe they could have made me care more about L’ak. He just doesn’t seem to have any personality at all, so finding out that he’s SPECIAL means nothing, and his death totally fell flat, no matter how many misty close-ups the camera crew shot. Maybe with more time, they might have figured out a way to make him interesting.
I will say though, I had one brief moment where I was absolutely terrified for this season… when Moll revealed her and L’ak’s matching tattoos and was like to the Breen, “I have something you want,” I was like “oh god oh god don’t say you’re pregnant… don’t say you have the next heir to the empire in your tummy…”
Victor: Yeah, considering how the Primarch said “abomination” about their marriage, I don’t think that would have thrilled him.
Mary: Anyway, at least this means your alien baby prediction won’t pan out! How’s your Book prediction going?
Image: Paramount+
Victor: I was so sure this would be the week he tried to get Moll out before the Breen showed up. Or that Michael would order him to “kidnap” her to get her and L’ak away. I texted you 8 minutes in to confidently predict that. Ah, well. Now we’re setting him up to rescue her. He was extremely upset that they let the Breen take her, so maybe this is the reason he peace outs again?
Mary: I was really glad he didn’t do anything drastic to save Moll. I don’t think I could’ve forgiven him for that, which would have been annoying because I feel like they’re setting up a Michael/Book romance rekindling. He’s actually been reasonable about the whole Moll thing!
Victor: Of course they’re getting back together! Why else have Michael jump into a sexxxy time scene with him in the time bug episode?
“I know we have to be professional, but damn! You got abs!”
Mary: “So you kind of effed over the Federation last season. You’re hawttttttt”
Victor: This week on Sexy Trek…
Mary: I liked that they brought back his empath abilities. Nice reminder that he has that.
Victor: I did like how they deciphered the clue, and also how it led to a giant space library. Talk about pandering to your nerd audience!
Mary: Very creatively titled the Archive. Which is what I titled the magic library in Edge of Evil because I was too lazy to come up with anything else.
Victor: Calling it an Archive of Our Own would’ve been too on the nose.
Mary: I gotta say, after all that Amazing Space Race stuff from the earlier episodes, Moll and L’ak getting caught because he’s wounded and she sent out an SOS was pretty anticlimactic.
Victor: Yeah, extremely. And they caught them off camera! Didn’t even get to see them get boarded.
Mary: *Sigh…* Oh, Discovery. I wish they’d just gotten caught at the end of the space anomaly episode and spent the last one in the brig or something, rather than having them get away only to get caught off camera.
Victor: Yes, have them scheming in the brig to come up with a plan. But no. Now we’re going to use the Progenitor tech to resurrect L’ak. *Deep sigh*
Mary: I really hope that doesn’t pan out. But this is Disco, so… Disco really is like your darling problem child, isn’t it? At this point when they pull annoying or illogical plot things it’s just like, “Well, that’s Disco!”
Victor: It sure is. It’s like the troubled child who shows so much potential but then biffs the SATs.
Mary: Hah! The smart kid who never studies and therefore gets straight Cs.
Victor: I know they can write good stories! I’ve seen some on here! It’s just so frustrating. And now there are only 3 episodes left to resolve this.
Mary: Well at least we got to see Reno this episode!
Victor: Yes, looking forward to some of her Seven of Limes drinks at the next con.
Image: Paramount+
Mary: I know some Trekkie already has a recipe.
Victor: Seagrams 7 & 7 limes?
Mary: Add some simple syrup and you’re a go.
Victor: I think we’ll need a few to get through the rest of Moll’s soggy redemption arc.
Mary: Seriously, though, I was trying to think about what we haven’t touched on yet this episode, and was running through the other crew members… only to realize none of them did much. Moll and L’ak took up so much air that only Michael, Book, and Rayner got to do anything. Everyone else was just functional.
Victor: Like you said, that’s fine a 22 episode season. Not so great in 10. Oh, we had more of Tilly wavering about the Academy. Yay.
Mary: I’m so confused about what she’s even doing with the Academy.
Victor: I don’t know either. At least we didn’t have Culber’s spiritual awakening continue. Rating for this episode?
Mary: 3
Victor: I was thinking 3 as well. The actual diplomacy made up for all the Moll and L’ak nonsense.
Mary: Halfway through the episode I thought it might get up to 4, but then… yeah. Moll and L’ak.
Victor: They’re such a damn anchor on the season. Can you imagine how much better this would be if someone like Khan was the antagonist?
Mary: Yeah, the villain makes the show and sadly, Disco has always struggled with that.
Victor: Heck, I’d settle for Christopher Plummer’s Klingon from Undiscovered Country.
Mary: I’d settle for the busted-up Borg Queen from Picard Season Mistake… I mean, Season Two.
Victor: Maybe the Breen will help pick it up. I guess we’ll see next week.
Welcome back! I hope you all enjoyed Tuesday night’s celebration of Celtic witchcraft at Night One of Eurovision. (#CrownTheWitch) We’ve got another 16 countries vying for the final ten spots tonight, along with three more previews from the pre-qualified countries (Italy, France, and Spain).
Let’s get into it!
Malta: “Loop,” Sarah Bonnici
A young woman in a sparkly one-piece does a fun club jam, although the way she repeatedly says “Oh my gawd” in the song is extremely irritating. Good choreography, especially a part where her baggy-pantsed backup boys dance blindfolded.
2. Albania: “Titan,” Besa
I like this power ballad. Her metallic headdress is cool, the lighting is very effective, and the lyrics are good. They have these giant hands on the video wall, though, and I’m not into those.
3. Greece: “Zari,” Mariana Satti
Ok, I do not like this framing device of the TikTok video, and her voice is too high and squeaky at the start. Ha! All a fake-out about how she’s going to do it her way with a funky Mediterranean beat. Eh, this Greek rap still isn’t doing it for me.
4. Switzerland: “The Code,” Nemo
Ok, now this is my jam. I love everything about this: Nemo’s puffy coat made of red and orange feathers, the uptempo rap break, the dramatic lighting, the driving hook, the round teeter-totter thing he’s balancing on. That chorus is going to be lodged in my head all night. Easily my favorite so far.
5. Czechia: “Pedestal,” Aiko
Is something wrong with her mic? She sounds terrible in the live performance. Ah well, there’s always some country who sends an entry who can’t actually sing. Her clone backup dancers are neat looking, though.
Pre-Qualified: France: “Mon Amour,” Slimane
France brings a big romantic ballad. It’s too bad Slimane’s voice is a bit raspy at the start because the tune is nice. He’s warmed up by the end enough to hit those sustained notes, though.
6. Austria: “We Will Rave,” Kaleen
“We will rave,” huh? I wonder what this song is going to be about? Laser lights, techno beat, S&M silver one-piece costume… yep. Title is accurate. Her hair is making me think of a more severe and germanic Ariana Grande.
7. Denmark: “Sand,” Saba
This performance starts with the singer dramatically pouring sand on the stage. Which is pretty literal staging with lyrics about “sand slipping through my hands.” Still, it’s effective and the song is very good.
8. Armenia: “Jako,” Ladaniva
It’s always fun when countries incorporate their traditional music into the song rather than do a generic Eurobop club song. It certainly makes them stand out from the crowd. I liked it! It was fun.
9. Latvia: “Hollow,” Dons
How do you have a giant wheel as your set piece and not run around in it? How can you have a guy in a blue rubber suit sing such a snooze of a song? This is a bit of a dirge and not one of my favorites.
Pre-Qualified: Spain: “Zorra,” Nebulossa
One of the pre-qualified entries. This is an ok club tune, more notable for the light show and the bearded backup boys in corsets than the musicality.
10. San Marino: “11:11,” Megara
This is a nice jolt of energy! It looks like a weird take on Alice in Wonderland, with the singer looking like Harley Quinn changed her color scheme to pink and black. She is backed up by dancing skeletons and killer bunnies and some very cool animation. The band looks like they went to Gene Simmons’s yard sale for costumes. All around classic Eurovision stuff. Love it!
11. Georgia: “Firefighter,” Nutsa Buzaladze
Catchy dance tune with a lot of fire. Sometimes you don’t need to overthink things. Just dance and enjoy it.
12. Belgium: “Before the Party’s Over,” Mustii
The singer stole Dan Stevens’s costume from the Eurovision Song Contest movie. And his ballad is only ok, and not terribly memorable.
13. Estonia: “(nendest) narkootikumidest ei tea me (küll) midagi,” 5MIINUST x Puuluup
Now these guys have some energy! I like the look of the one singer wearing an overcoat with one sleeve missing. They’re working the crowd, and the crowd is into it.
Pre-Qualified: Italy: “La noia,” Angelina Mango
Ok, can’t deny that I love Ms. Mango’s sparkly red corset and the dancers in body suits covered with thorn patterns. And the song is a bop.
14. Israel: “Hurricane,” Eden Golan
Time for a dramatic power ballad. And it’s fine. The singer has a great voice, but the song is extremely generic. (This seems like a good time to note that Eurovision explicitly forbids any kind of political statement song. Keep it light and fun!)
15. Norway: “Ulveham,” Gåte
Another rocking number. The lighting and costumes really make this number work, plus the band seems to be having a great time.
16. Netherlands: “Europapa,” Joost Klein
Time for some classic Eurovision nonsense! Joost is wearing shoulder pads that David Byrne would’ve called over the top. And the performance opens with his giant face on the video screen on the floor. Oh, and there’s a giant bluebird playing keyboard. I have literally no idea what is going on, but I’m enjoying it. And if that isn’t the mission statement for Eurovision, I don’t know what is.
Favorites: Switzerland! What a great song! Also loved the energy San Marino’s deranged Alice in Wonderland song brought.
Least Favorite: Czechia was pretty bad, and Latvia’s snooze fest didn’t impress me. Neither did the rapping Greek.
The Winners: What the hell? The lame entries from Greece and Latvia made it in but San Marino didn’t? Boo, Europe, boo! RECOUNT! (For real, I’m mad about this.)
Joining these two unworthy finalists are Armenia, Austria, Estonia, Georgia, Israel, Norway, Netherlands, and Switzerland (yay).
Will any of these beat my witchy monarch, Bambie Thug, on Saturday? We’ll find out in 48 hours!
Greetings, fellow Eurovision fans! It’s time to break out your platform heels, vampire capes, and most awkward dance moves. It’s time to celebrate the music of Europe (mostly) as the first 15 countries compete for a spot in the finals.
If you are unfamiliar with this annual celebration, you are in for a treat. Lovingly parodied in the movie, Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga, EVS is known for its outlandish spectacles and staging, songs from Eastern European countries about vampires, and, oh yeah, the international launch pad for the careers of mega stars like ABBA and Celine Dion.
The show is a lot of fun to watch, especially if you like a catchy bop you can dance to. The semi-finals are May 7th and 9th, with the finals on Saturday, May 11th. You can catch them on Peacock here in the USA, and if you download the official Eurovision app, you can even vote for your favorites.
Without further ado, let’s get to it! Here are my thoughts from the first day of competition. You can watch all of the competitors here.
Cyprus: “Liar,” Silia Kapsis
Fun bop. Sounds a bit like it should be in a Disney channel musical, though.
Serbia: “Ramonda,” Teya Dora
Moody, atmospheric. The staging makes me think of a Goth version of Frozen.
Lithuania: “Luktelk,” Silvester Belt
Catchy tune, great beat, cool lighting. I’d dance to this at a club if I had youth or energy.
Ireland: “Doomsday Blue,” Bambie Thug
Fuck yes, this goddamn rocks. What do the kids say? Bambie Thug understood the assignment. This Celtic witch and their demon boyfriend are awesome. (Thug is also Ireland’s first non-binary entrant.) Just so you know, this website is now a Bambie Thug fan page.
This year we also got some previews of the countries that have already qualified. The Big Five — the UK, France, Spain, Germany, Italy — get automatic spots as well as last year’s winner and host country, Sweden.
UK: “Dizzy,” Olly Alexander
Ok club song. Reminded me of Lion of Love from the Eurovision movie. More notable for its shirtless boys than its musicality.
Ukraine: “Theresa & Maria,” Alyona Alyona and Jerry Heil
Lovely singing, apparently they have a rapping samurai, but it works.
Poland: “The Tower,” Luna
Now this is some classic Eurovision nonsense. Pretty girl in a giant costume, singing with dancing chess pieces. The song kind of grows on you, but it’s just ok.
Croatia: “Rim Tim Tagi Dim,” Baby Lasagna
Another hard rocking one. These really pop when surrounded by all the wannabe club bops. Costumes are great, including what I think is a naughty milkmaid.
Iceland: “Scared of Heights,” Hera Bjork
How long until I stop yelling “PLAY JA JA DING DONG” when Iceland comes on? Never! That will always be funny.
Anyway, they should have played that, instead. This song sounds like a generic power pop song you’d play over the credits of a Girl Boss movie from the ’80s
Time for another preview of a pre-qualified country:
Germany: “Always on the Run,” Isaak
I like this guy’s voice, and song reminds me a bit of Adele. Pretty good! Catchy!
Slovenia: “Veronika,” Raiven
Look, I’m certainly not mad about the pretty blonde lady and her backup dancers being practically naked in their sheer body suits. The song is decent, too
Finland: “No Rules!,” Window95Man
Ok, best band name so far. And, again, the pantsless man bursting out of a giant egg and using various props to hide his wiener is classic ESC staging. Every year has a “wacky” entry and this is the one. Clearly bringing the “Give That Wolf A Banana” vibes. (IYKYK. Look it up on YouTube)
Moldova: “In The Middle,” Natalia Barbu
This power pop ballad is pretty and pretty generic. It’s ok, but I’d be surprised if it makes the cut.
And now, a preview of the host country…
Sweden: “Unforgettable,” Marcus & Martinus
Oh, this is a banger. High energy, driving beat. These guys are giving me Pet Shop Boys vibes.
Azerbaijan: “Ozunlo Apar,” Fahree feat. Ilkin Dovlatov
This song is nicely melodic, and I kind of like the yodeling. Also a big blue head is floating around on the video screen.
Australia: “One Milkali (One Blood)” Electric Fields
How is Australia a part of Eurovision, you ask? Good question! Apparently they just really wanted it. Glad they’re here, because this is a bop, complete with a digeridoo break.
Portugal: “Grito,” Iolanda
This is a soulful ballad, which has been kind of lacking tonight. Her voice is lovely, and her dancers clad in white suits and face masks remind me of Moon Knight. I dig it!
Luxembourg: “Fighter,” Tali
Ok, I have a type and it’s women with French accents. So I’m already in the tank for this lass from Luxembourg. The song is a bop, although the purple CGI leopards are certainly a choice.
Favorites: I’m only counting those that were in competition, otherwise I think I’d have Sweden in second.
Ireland (by a mile)
Portugal
Lithuania
Croatia
Ukraine
Least favorite: It was a pretty strong semi, with no real clunkers. Having said that, Poland and Iceland failed to impress me.
Results: It looks like the rest of the world agrees with me. All of my favorites advanced, a long with Cyprus, Serbia, Luxembourg, Finland, and Slovenia. This was a pretty strong group!
Congratulations to the winners! I’ll see you back here on Thursday! Till then…
Welcome back to the galactic scavenger hunt that is Star Trek: Discovery, season 5! Last week, the clue they found was a vial of water. But! Multiple scans revealed it to be… a vial of water. Consulting with David Cronenberg (and I still cannot get used to seeing my all-time favorite body horror director popping up in this show), they figure out the names of the scientists. Michael thinks the water might symbolize something, and cross referencing with the scientists’ home worlds, they find a desert world near one of them. The world is only habitable in one area, thanks to a cleverly camouflaged weather tower that makes it rain.
But there are of course complications. The weather tower is breaking down after 800 years, so they need to repair it lest it fail and the population dies. Oh, and this also a pre-warp society, meaning they have to sneak around while observing the Prime Directive of non-interference. So it’s time to put on some costumes and try not to tell them all the people that their gods are a lie.
Image: Paramount+
Victor: So I thought this was a classic throwback to the days when Kirk and Picard were always wrestling with the Prime Directive. This usually meant putting on cloaks and Ren Faire garb so they could go look for dilithium or something. So it was promising when the latest clue leads them to the dust world only kept safe by the weather towers our alien scientist secretly installed.
Mary: Definitely. I feel like this season Discovery is doing a lot of classic Trek throwbacks.
Victor: Absolutely. I mean we were literally on the Enterprise last week. And, luckily, their visit to dust world just HAPPENS to coincide with the annual pilgrimage to the weather tower, excuse me, the high summit.
Mary: Yeah that was some convenient timing…
Victor: What are the odds? Michael should play Powerball. “Oh cool, a convenient excuse to blend in with this small, tightly knit community in a way that raises no questions!”
Mary: Also very classic Trek, I feel. “Hey look our mission conveniently took us to the planet during its most interesting time.”
Victor: True, especially the part where Dad Priest doesn’t want his daughter to run the Faith Race… for reasons. Hmm, nothing suspicious there!
Mary: You’d think Starfleet-trained officers would know by now to do their research before diving in. It seems they should have figured out that the sacrifice was a thing?? It isn’t exactly a secret?
Victor: “Huh, first prize is getting to “talk to the gods…” Seems legit!” I swear to God, if Starfleet still used money, one email scammer would clean them out.
But, because the weather tower is encased in plot-armor (transporter resistant elements), they have no choice but to run the race.
Mary: Indeed. Again, classic Trek! Send the Starfleet officers into the indigenous ritual!
Victor: And of course there are other challenges. Burnham thinks she’ll just race through with her Starfleet training, but because the original pilgrim had her lungs full of space dust, everyone had to run while hacking up dust. Which is kinda gross.
Mary: So gross. Though I did love the sound bath cure to having dust in your lungs. Namaste.
Victor: It was fun to watch Tilly power through it. “Go, follow your moss…” Hack, wheeze… This episode really gave her a nice showcase. She got to connect with the priest’s daughter, and complain while having to run (relatable!).
I do wish they’d figure out her Starfleet Academy arc. Does she want to be a teacher or not? I’m tired of them asking.
Image: Paramount+
Mary: Yeah I’m super confused by that. She left Discovery to be a teacher, and now she’s back on Discovery? But also still a teacher?
Victor: Does she commute?
Mary: I mean they can transport themselves instantly.
Victor: Seems like a waste of spores.
Mary: I will say though overall I enjoyed this ep a lot. It was mercifully Moll-free.
Victor: Hallelujah.
Mary: It was cheesy but in a classic Trek way
Victor: I dunno. I didn’t like how they resolved the ending. There were so many ways they could’ve gotten Tilly and the kid out of the death chamber, and they went with the talkiest, most touchy-feely one. “Let me explain technology to you while my friend suffocates.”
Image: Paramount+
Mary: That’s true, haha. Michael could’ve just Kirk-fu’d the priest and opened the damn door herself. Didn’t seem very complicated. And she had the fancy scanner!
Victor: She could’ve beamed in and said, “The gods have heard your prayers! Your faith has been rewarded! Open the chamber!” And failing that, Vulcan nerve pinch.
Mary: There were a lot of logic gaps in this one.
Victor: Yeah, too many.
Mary: Weirdly, I didn’t mind.
Victor: And I still am not sure what they’re doing with Doc Culber and his journey of personal discovery.
Mary: Oh yeah that feels random. I hope it’s leading somewhere.
Image: Paramount+
Victor: “Oh, I’m all spiritual now!” Cool, I guess. Eat your mofungo
Mary: Like, they’re planting the seeds for him to do something interesting later. Then again, this is Discovery, and they suck at follow up.
Victor: It just feels so tacked on. If they end up with “Only Culber can run the god machine because spiritual awakening,” I will throw things. But that would totally be peak Discovery.
Mary: Oh noooooooo. You’re so right they totally would. I would still take that over Moll Wants Alien Baby.
Victor: Culber uses the machine to give Moll a baby. And then Michael has a teary monologue about “family.”
Mary: Please stop. It hurts cuz it’s true.
Victor: Man, this show really needs the Cerritos to jump in and burst their bubbles. Now I want Mariner to come in and razz Michael.
Mary: We haven’t talked about Rayner and Adira! That was my fave part of the episode! The curmudgeon and the novice.
Victor: Yeah, it’s nice that he’s taking them under his wing. But don’t soften him up too much. I like salty Rayner.
So, final thoughts? I’m not as high on this one as the past couple. I’d give it 3 stars.
Mary: I’d say 4 again, so want to average it to 3.5?
Victor: I dunno. Maybe we should race to the weather tower to decide a winner…
Welcome back, my Disco Fans! (Disco Ducks? Is that something?) It’s time to once again get back to the chase for the Progenitor’s God Engine.
Last week, a Time Bug disabled Discovery long enough for our villains, Moll and L’ak, to get ahead of them and seemingly disappear into space. After Stamets scans the area for all forms of radiation, he discovers a wormhole that seems to be the hiding place of the next clue. Captain Burnham and Book dive on through in an effort to keep Moll and L’ak away from the next clue.
We’ll be discussing the entire episode so if you wish to stay spoiler-free, don’t read this until you’ve watched.
Image: Paramount+
Victor: So what did you think?
Mary: Here it is: the tragic backstory! We all knew it was coming, right? I will admit, though, I didn’t see L’ak being a Breen coming. I’m suddenly a lot more interested in this season, because we might have the Breen as a villain instead of just these two mercs.
Victor: I agree, L’ak is a lot more interesting. The problem is, I still do not care about Moll. Every scene, she just comes across as petulant and irritating.
Mary: I agree. “Wah, wah, poor me and my tragic backstory. I don’t care if I destroy civilization as we know it, as long as I get to be happy.” Yet Book is running around in circles going, “You’re not evil! You have a second chance!” Dude, she doesn’t want it! My least favorite story arc: The unearned redemption arc.
Victor: “Oi, yer me sistah! There’s good in ya!”
Mary: We’re pirates now?
Victor: I was trying for a Book accent, but sure pirate!
I liked the overall story, even though it was a bit trope-y. Enemy combatants forced to work together is an extremely well worn plot, but it worked here. Everyone stayed true to character. Burnham trying to recruit L’ak into Starfleet. Moll being rash and impulsive and a jerk.
Mary: Agree. I was rolling my eyes at Moll, but otherwise, I really enjoyed this episode! It was classic Trek in a lot of ways. The space anomaly, the technobabble rescue…
It was pretty fun seeing the Terran Enterprise. Those writers decided to play the nostalgia card this week!
Image: Paramount+
Victor: I wanted to see more of the Terran Enterprise, though! Like, did Terran Pike or Terran Kirk lead the revolt? Did Georgiou get changed from her time on Discovery?
Mary: Oh! I think we’ll find out about Georgiou in the Section 31 movie!
Victor: Uhhhhgggghh
Mary: … I take it you don’t care for it?
Victor: I’m not super excited for that, no. Section 31—Starfleet black ops—is just completely counter to what I think Star Trek should be about.
Mary: Ah, gotcha. I’ll admit I don’t have high expectations for that. I just want more Georgiou.
Victor: Fair.
Mary: Anyway, Discovery!
Victor: Rayner is settling into his command role nicely.
Mary: Yes, I really liked him this week! Well, I like him every week haha. But his character evolution feels organic. He’s still curmudgeonly but he’s figuring out how to work with this crew.
Victor: And again, I agreed with his command choices. The captain is too valuable to send into an unknown wormhole.
Mary: Michael going on dangerous missions herself has been an issue ever since she made captain. But she’s the main character! We have to feature her in the off-ship adventure!
Victor: That’s why you have away teams!!!!!! “But we need Book!” Well Rayner can take Book with him!
Mary: It actually reminded me of the writers’ justification for making her a First Officer in the beginning. They figured that by NOT making her a captain, she’d have more freedom.
Victor: And that made sense in context.
Mary: This is why I say Discovery is a confused show. They wanted Rogue Michael, who could go off on wild adventures, so they had her as First Officer instead of Captain. But then they decided to make her Captain anyway, but still wanted to send her on the same kinds of rogue-ish adventures?
Also, her dialogue justifying why she should be the one to go with Book made no sense. She never actually addressed the question. She said, “This is tactical,” but didn’t explain HOW it was tactical. So it basically came down to, “Because I said so”
Victor: Yeah, this goes back to what you were talking about last week. The show has never known exactly what to do with Michael, which is a problem when she’s your main character.
There could’ve been more dialogue there about how Michael thinks Rayner’s desire to get Moll & L’ak is clouding his judgement, and that would’ve been a legitimate counter point.
Mary: True! Well, I’m glad Rayner stayed on the ship because it meant we got to see him work with the crew. I especially liked when he demanded a one-sentence answer from the engineers and got one, then both engineers were visibly bursting to say more.
Victor: Ah yes, one-sentence answers are pure torture for Starfleet technobabblers. At the same time, though, Rayner is basically yelling “Make it work!” at his crew.
Mary: Now I’m imagining Tim Gunn as a Starfleet officer. I do wish we’d seen Rayner and the others passing around a bottle of that Kellerun treat he was promising.
Victor: The sour mash? Yeah! We need new drinks to cosplay aside from Romulan Ale.
Mary: I’m sure some Trekkie is coming up with a cocktail recipe right now. Instead we got Discovery’s signature extraneous talk-about-our-feelings dialogue.
Image: Paramount+
Victor: I was going to ask what you thought about Tilly and Culber having a heart-to-heart.
Mary: WHY was that there??
Victor: It kind of came out of nowhere.
Mary: It would have made sense at the end of the Jinaal episode. But yeah, it was so random.
Victor: It really seemed like it was just there to give him some lines. And you’re right, it would’ve made way more sense then. “You just had your body occupied by a 1000-year-old consciousness. How are you doing?”
Mary: I guess the good doctor didn’t have anything to do in this episode.
Victor: Yeah, literally no real reason the conduit Tilly was chasing had to go through sick bay.
I did like the way Burnham alerted the Discovery. Again, showing Rayner that knowing your crew can be important.
Mary: Yes, that was fantastic. A deep dive into Kellerun culture. I wonder if we’ll learn more about the Kelleruns this season. I hope we do.
Victor: That was some real Darmok-at-Tanagra stuff
Mary: This season Discovery seems to be digging through the Trek archives for underused aliens. First Kelleruns, and now the Breen.
Image: Paramount+
Victor: So what did you think of Moll and L’ak’s forbidden romance?
Mary: Pretty cliché, but they had good chemistry.
Victor: I like that L’ak is a disgraced royal, but I’m still not sure how Moll went from obviously manipulating him to pass off her crappy dilithium to genuinely caring about him. And maybe that’s just my dislike of the character talking.
Mary: Well, I assumed there was a time jump.
Victor: Oh, there was. In the second flashback, she says something about “you keep promising” to do something.
Mary: I’m glad we didn’t have to watch the romance unfold over time, that it went from the “meet cute” straight to the “now we’re in love and I wanna see your face.”
Victor: I could’ve used one more scene between those points. The two-face thing was extremely cool, though! The Breen’s glow-y power face and the normal face.
Mary: It was! Pretty cool to finally see the Breen up close, and to know what they look like under the helmets. It’s also nice that effects tech has advanced enough that they can be more than just people with pointy ears.
Victor: Uh, also weird foreheads! Show some respect!
Mary: Apparently the helmets were designed to look snouted because at one point they were supposed to look kind of like wolves. But I guess a wolf man wouldn’t have been great for a star-crossed romance?
Victor: I think Stephanie Meyer would disagree with you. Her next book will be Space Twilight.
Mary: Oh she tried that already! The Host! I don’t think she ever finished writing that series…
Victor: So, anything else to mention? I did like the nod to Action Saru leading the revolt in Terra.
Mary: Hah, I liked that too! I missed Saru this episode, though I get that with such a big cast, you can’t feature everyone every week.
Victor: True. That’s one of the things I like about Strange New Worlds—everyone gets a featured episode, eventually.
Mary: Yeah. I hope we get a Rayner-centered episode at some point, where we get to learn more about the Kellerun. Like, a side quest. But I’m not hopeful. Discovery historically has preferred to stick with its season arc, and this season especially doesn’t seem to be keen on standalone episodes.
Victor: Yeah, that is something I would really like them to do more of. But, like I’ve said before, that’s a problem with the series. They get locked into season long arcs and don’t explore the interesting sidebars that would add depth to your characters.
Image: Paramount+
Mary: So what are your predictions for next week? I think you’re right about Book going rogue at some point to save Moll. I thought it was going to happen this week, but maybe next week we’ll see him do just that.
Victor: I thought for sure that Moll would agree to go back to Discovery with Michael and then commandeer the ship. I mean, their ship got destroyed! Seems like they would try to get a new one.
Mary: Oh, that would have been cool! And it would have made them seem, you know, dangerous!
Victor: But yeah. I think Book goes against Michael and chases after Moll, and Rayner says “told ya so.”
Mary: They’re really feeling more like reality show villains than actual villains…
Victor: “I’m not here to make friends. I’m here for the latinum.”
Rating this week?
Mary: Hmm. I’d say a solid 4 once again.
Victor: I think 3.5. Moll just irks me.
Mary: I was gonna say—Moll really annoyed me, but I’m really excited about the Breen, so they cancel each other out. While the rest of the episode was a 4 for me.
“Hip hop isn’t just beats and rhymes…it’s a movement that fought to redefine the times.” And The Graphic History of Hip Hop by interdisciplinary scholar Dr. Walter Greason and Afrofuturist artist Tim Fielder brings that movement to life through text and images, examining a music revolution that unfolded over five decades and continues to unfold today.
The two creators originally met in 2015 at a defense consulting workshop. “We were looking at issue of nuclear weapons,” said Dr. Greason. “And [Tim Fielder] did just spectacular art on reimagining what kind of world we can live in. And, of course, he’s the OG Afrofuturist. So, to see his skill on display was just amazing. So I kept him in mind for whenever I had the next chance to pull an artist in on a project.”
That opportunity arrived in December 2022. “The New York City school system—I’d been working with them for three to four years—they asked me, was I going to be able to put together something on a graphic novel about hip hop history for the 50th anniversary?” explained Dr. Greason. “And I was like, ‘yes.’ And I know exactly the artist I want to work with, reached out to Tim that month, he signed up immediately, and then we start the process of how to draft a script, how to put the content together. I’m so thankful. He loved the vision that I had and improved it immeasurably with the art that he developed.”
The edition for the school district, which incorporated edits required for the students and teachers, was released in November 2023, and an expanded edition is currently available as well.
“It has just been an unending hundred-mile-an-hour rollercoaster ride,” said Dr. Greason. When asked how the graphic novel was received, he replied, “Amazing. Overwhelmingly. Just… people love every page. They get swallowed up in each panel. Yeah, and folks keep demanding more. They can’t get enough, and so I would say, particularly, we’re fortunate that hip hop has such deep resonance around the world, and so we’re tapping into that… All these folks are starving for content about hip hop that’s serious and respectful, that doesn’t treat it like a joke or a sideshow.”
Of course, creating a book around such a beloved subject meant a lot of feedback.
“Everybody has an opinion,” said Fielder. “My cousin bought two books the other day, got them in the mail, ‘Hey Tim, so I have to say to you, man, the artwork is boss! But story, the way it was presented…’ And everybody has an opinion on what hip hop is. And it’s never-ending. And this will range from cousins all the way to executives at Fortune 500 companies. Everybody has an opinion.”
Fielder’s own experience with hip hop has been a lifelong one. “So I am a guy who emanates from the Black rock music scene… That was the thing I was into… Fishbone, alternative music, I’d be listening to Jimmy Heath, you know, jazz, that type of thing… but I was always around hip hop… I’d oftentimes have to do editorial illustrations for the publications I was working with that would range from the Village Voice and things like that. But I also did mainstream comics through Marvel Comics. So hip hop was always there. And I did an unpublished 63-page fully painted graphic novel called Dr. Dre, Man with a Cold, Cold Heart. Never published, right? So I’ve been around the form my entire life.”
Dr. Greason grew up with hip hop and considers it a defining feature of his life. “I was born a week after Kool Herc’s first party, grew up in New Jersey, bouncing between farm communities, suburbs, and cities like Camden and Newark. And so my whole life, by the time I was five, with my first exposure to Sugarhill Gang, and then from there… five years later, 10 years old, is ‘Roxanne, Roxanne.’ It’s that first wave of original artists breaking through and getting their initial record contracts. And really identifying with shows like Video Music Box, Fab 5 Freddy, going to parties to interview people… That culture shaped me as a preteen and a teen.”
The Graphic History of Hip Hop aims to bring that culture to life is through the use of lyrics and vivid imagery, including images of a break dancer in the corner of each page, which animate when one flips through them.
“That piece is really the foundation,” said Dr. Greason. “If you don’t have an experience with the music, and you come across the James Brown lyric, you’re not going to have the same sense of what’s happening on that page. Like, you kind of have to hear the sound to go with both the history and the visual. And then beyond that, Tim is absolutely a genius about giving places for the audience to show up in the text… [when] you’re seeing the big crowds dancing at the dance party, when you’re seeing people in different kinds of classrooms, just learning about the topics, these places where we’re seeing… There’s just all these layers of features that allow everyone to bring their own voice, their own perspective to the experience of looking through this text. And so that’s what I feel like is really unique, even in this really popular field now of graphic history, is that it’s layers of interpretive challenges that you can come back to again and again and always learn something new.”
Going beyond music, The Graphic History of Hip Hop also examines the movement’s impacts on history, both past and present.
“By the time I was in college, like, ’90, ’91,” said Dr. Greason, “I remember sitting around all white classmates, watching… Public Enemy has a video, and it debuts on MTV, and those jokers are just shocked that they’ve got to deal with the fact that Black people are not going to accept second-class treatment. They’re going to go about pursuing and enforcing civil rights laws and anti-discrimination clauses. They’re going to defend programs like affirmative action. This whole battle that we’ve now seen culminate with the Trump Administration and the backlash that came out of January 6, this has been going on in Black communities for, at minimum, if you’re conservative, you say two centuries. My colleague Nikole Hannah-Jones, 1619 Project, draws it back over four centuries. And so this work of evolving and bringing a social critique that actually honors and enforces a perspective about the African American experience, and really African diaspora, because we deal with anti-Apartheid, we deal with Pan-Africanism, these are all hugely influential pieces of our global society that hip hop is at the center of. So, for me, this is just who I am.”
The Graphic History of Hip Hop brings these connections to life through a timeline feature that Dr. Greason generated.
“It’s pretty ingenious,” said Fielder. “Initially, it was like, ‘Yo, man, just, like, come up with 10 timeline dates if you could. Just to have it.’ This dude comes back with 45 years’ worth of timeline features! But it’s not all hip hop. Some of it is talking about the death of Martin Luther King. The death of Robert Kennedy. Culminating in the election of Richard Nixon, right? But then when does hip hop start? 1973… Who has to resign from office that same year? Richard Nixon… Hip hop integrates through history because hip hop is essentially human history. Part of history. It is history. And it’s a living document that we’re writing as we go along.”
By integrating music history with political and social history, The Graphic History of Hip Hop puts the movement in the context of the wider world.
“A lot of people are used to the stories about Kool Herc and the street parties, but before we ever get to that, we’re telling the story of civil rights and Black power,” said Dr. Greason. “We’re talking about the actual political and social history that leads up to 1973, and then continually, we’re covering the way the society is changing through the 1980s, through the 1990s, why hip hop grows as a phenomenon and becomes more of an industry by the time you get to between 1994 and 1997. And then we confront, really, something that no one’s ever talked about… this industrial shift that provokes Nas to say ‘hip hop is dead’ in 2006. That the heart of the culture was no longer functioning in the same way at the end of the 20th century and into the early 21st century.”
Fielder and Dr. Greason aim to explore more of that living history—and hip hop’s place in overall history—in the second two volumes of a planned three-volume series. The school edition of the second volume will be done by the end of 2024, with expanded editions out next year.
The Graphic History of Hip Hop, volume one, tells the story through the “hip hop is dead” moment in 2006. Dr. Greason explained, “That lays the foundation for our second and third volumes, where we confront: How does the culture become an industry? And how does the content change? And so even today, we see Nas and DJ Premier drop a new single called ‘Define My Name.’ That’s at the heart of the debate about what hip hop should be going forward. And what is the role for hip hop empowering teenagers and young people the way it was when I was coming up, versus the voice of the people who are my age now? Who are 40, 50, 60 years old? Hip hop is a terrain that has brought the world together in ways that exist outside of our mainstream political and economic institutions. And that’s what we hope to capture, in lots of different layers, in this graphic history.”
While the second volume is still undergoing edits, its planned structure is a reverse timeline that looks back from 2023 to 2006, and a bit into the 1990s as well. “We look at the growth of the industry,” said Dr. Greason, “and we also see the suppression of different independent artists, people who are still in the streets, struggling. And how there’s a disconnect between folks that are producing the art and trying to keep the culture alive, but at the same time can never reach the global audience. They’re not getting the mass marketing through radio and streaming that have become more common. And so there’s a tension that runs throughout Volume Two about commercialization, and how does that affect the way that different cultures evolve in a global marketplace.”
The third volume will expand the scope even further: going back 5,000 years to look at world music history overall, the origins of music as human expression, “and then situating hip hop in that story, and using hip hop as a frame to tell overall music history, while also respecting hip hop,” said Dr. Greason. The volume “is this much more ambitious, long view of what’s happened, and why music is so important to all of us.”
For Fielder—who started in comics in the 1980s, moved into video games and animation around 2000, and returned to comics about 12 years after that—the experience of watching the industry around graphic novels evolve has been an interesting one. “The most prominent aspect of graphic novels is the growth industry in the trade book industry,” he explained. “And then [within] graphic novels itself, you have middle grade and YA, and then you have now graphic history.”
Seeing an opportunity, Fielder and Dr. Greason formed The Graphic History Company, along with Christina Hungspruke, a Managing Partner who also handles Marketing and Communications.
“I was shocked the URL was available… No one created a company called the Graphic History Company?” said Fielder with a laugh. “It’s been a wonderful collaboration because I come from a world of independent comics where you’re doing everything by yourself… I would say this has been one of the most educational experiences for me as an independent operator, Afrofuturist, but also just… Look, I put out two books before: one mainstream, one self-published through my company. And I’ve had all kinds of experiences. I have never experienced anything like The Graphic History of Hip Hop.”
Working on The Graphic History of Hip Hop came with unique challenges for the artist, who describes the graphic novel as “easily the biggest project of my career.”
“This is not a story that can be told simply,” said Fielder. “This is a story that has to have a complex layout, complex images, because it’s dealing with people who are still alive, some not with us, from all different walks of life.” It required “an immense amount of portraiture,” and Fielder estimates that he drew at least 200 rappers for the expanded edition.
“[It was driving] the folks at the DOE crazy at one point, that you keep adding and adding and adding more and more detail because the subject demands it,” Fielder said. “The subject demands it, and this guy [Dr. Greason] is one of the preeminent scholars of the form. I wasn’t about to let him go out there without that visual being there. That’s the magic and power of graphic history, and I know there are those out there that try to suggest that, ‘Well, you know, we just write books. We don’t do graphic histories.’ Graphic histories are just as relevant as prose scholarship journals, I submit. I know I’ll be lit on fire for that, but I don’t care! I think graphic histories are just as important and they have the opportunity to have a dramatically greater impact. Because it is a fusion of the written and the visual narrative.”
Finding acceptance for the graphic novel among scholars and academics has been a challenge at times.
Dr. Greason recounted, “Just at this last conference I was at in New Orleans, [scholars and academics] came up to me and were like, ‘Well, we can’t be expected to understand or interpret visual content alongside what’s written.’ Like, ‘that’s all we’re trained to do.’ I was like, ‘No, there are hundreds of scholars out here who can do both the writing and the visual art component to evaluate this work and determine its worth.”
“Hip hop is a crazed onion,” said Fielder. “It’s like layers and layers of crazed onions… And to do it the way we’re doing it, our focus is not necessarily just biographical hip hop—which is important, don’t get me wrong—it’s the geopolitical aspect of things to show how hip hop, as a form, integrates into the deeper American and world culture. How it affects politics.”
While the focus is currently on the three volumes of The Graphic History of Hip Hop, Dr. Greason spoke of further plans for the Graphic History Company.
“One of the fundamental critiques is that history is too often removed from popular criticism, and people call it ‘his story’… it’s not something they see themselves in or a part of,” he said. “And that’s the thing that we’ve really placed at the center of this graphic history, is that it’s a way for everyone to see themselves and be part of it, and we’re open for their voices to continue to grow… The whole point of having the Graphic History Company is we want all of the voices to come forward and share the stories that we don’t typically hear.”
Meanwhile, after screaming at Rhaenyra until she sent a dragon to help Rook’s Rest, her council is still screaming at her because now they’re down a dragon and Rhaenys is dead. Since Aemond has Vhagar, the biggest dragon in Westeros, they can’t rely on air power. They need an army, and Daemon hasn’t answered their ravens asking if he’s gotten the River Men on their side.
