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The Curse Review: “Self-Exclusion” Doesn’t Protect, Only Attacks

By
Robert Kijowski
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Karama doesn't have a "first of the month". | photo: Paramount+ with SHOWTIME

The focus of the cold opener in the seventh episode of The Curse (Showtime/A24), titled “Self-Exclusion,” is on Nala (Hikmah Warsame), who has it out for bully Josie (Aspen Martinez). Wishing for a foe to fall, especially when it’s from a rope climb in gym class isn’t what concerns me. Kids are kids, and nobody got hurt. Nor is the P.E. teacher (Greg Fernandez) not taking Nala’s side because Josie’s bullying is only verbal, throwing me off. Disheartening? Yes, but that’s just the failure of our public school system. What’s most disquieting is how intent Nala looks while Josie’s on the ropes. It’s a death stare worthy of Kubrick.

Whitney (Emma Stone) comes with her set of baggage, literally and figuratively, when she purchases the horrid wooden Native American statue at the golf course and hauls it right to the doorstep of Cara Durand (Nizhonniya Luxi Austin), who is initially none too pleased. It’s a shameless shill at buying Cara’s signature on the art release forms, and I’m not the only one that’s uncomfortable with this. Cara herself is also very uneasy, given Whitney’s genetic disposition of disrepute.

Stone’s acting in just the face alone when being rejected is some of her finest acting yet without words, and when she finally reveals all that’s plaguing her concerning Asher, Cara simply listens. It’s evident that Whit’s tearing at the seams, but this show has a beautiful skill of imploring me to look at these individuals through a finer lens. Is she being sincere, or is she playing the emotional card for Cara?

My vote is for the latter, especially factoring in how many times she deploys the term “friend” as if to weaponize it, and we go back into her original intent: making Cara a cultural consultant for the show. Money talks, and I believe this is Whitney at her cruelest yet. She’s trying to get an artist to sell out. Freedom and integrity are the true hallmarks and net worth of an artist, and the look on Cara’s face is just devastating as she mulls over the paycheck in exchange for her principled values as an artist, whatever they may be.

While Whitney is looking like slime, they do something interesting with Asher (Nathan Fielder). At his comedy class, he’s ground more into the floor when the lesson on self-deprecation doesn’t land for him. Not only is he verbally being “pantsed” by his teacher Jeff (Doug Montoya), but also unknowingly forms a bond with Nala.

The brilliance of this scene lies in its parallel to the cold open. It’s another instance of someone tamping down years of bullying only to fail when put on the spot, the incompetency of their feckless “saviors” front and center, which also is touched upon when Whitney passes a bunch of roadside protestors, decrying the name 3HO/Kundalini Yoga Community leader Yogi Bhajan.

If you recall, Whitney visited the community earlier this season. These threads that are never dropped only add to the richness of the tapestry Fielder and Safdie are weaving on screen. Yogi Bhajan (a real person) by accounts was a horrible person who eventually died in Española. Since Whitney and Asher are surely no exemplary people in the least, it’s a nice visual cue to their days being numbered.

Smack dab in the middle of the episode, we go from bad to holy shit. If Asher running over what I’ll assume is a strategically placed box in his driveway wasn’t enough, Whitney’s side-eye says it all. Asher’s information to Monica Perez (Tessa Mentus) bore fruit in what is a gorgeously shot exposé on how Whistling River Casino allowed a recovering gambling addict to play and win big before revoking the money.

I get an even bigger hit when the exposé releases footage of the onsite inspector and Asher laughing as recovering addict Joanna Hernandez (Bertha Benitez) welcomes in the demon of intemperance before their very eyes. Whitney’s seen the story, but hard as Asher tries to slither his way out, he just burrows himself deeper in the shit, and Nathan’s performance in this moment is truly haunting.

It’s the inflection of his voice, the timbre, the rhythm. These aren’t aureate lies he’s spilling forth to save his marriage; they’re half-assed, fully-defeated excuses to save his hidebound ass. I agree with Whit: if it weren’t for her, Asher would just be Satan. His ensuing “stigmata moment” wasn’t the show’s most subtle if they’re painting Asher as some “false savior” to Abshir’s family, but it works. I do feel like he’s in a spiritual war of his own as well. No notes.

At Whit’s first real confessional, we get some time with Dougie (Benny Safdie), who is particularly taken by her monologue, especially about the part of not knowing the person you thought you knew. Stone knocking it out of the park isn’t rarified territory in this season, but it bears repeating: she’s simply phenomenal, and Whitney stopping just short of accusing Asher of holding her back makes me ill, but not for the obvious reason of Asher in that footage acting sub-human.

Sure, Whitney’s spoiled, displaying zero growth, especially when enabler dad Paul (Corbin Bernsen) lends her cash. Sure, she’s in a toxic co-dependent (redundant, I know) relationship. Neither of which are good, but as much as I am so Team Dougie, I don’t know that he’s not just using the couple as his magnum opus; why celebrate marriage when he could be at the vanguard of a new form of reality TV: dissolution of marriages? To be fair, Dougie has every right to be pissed off at Asher for not inviting him to Shabbat.

The tertiary Nathan Fielder-directed episode, even in its last minutes, gives us even a few more sludgy moments when we see that it isn’t the network that’s paying for Cara’s employment; it’s Whitney buying her friend under a false premise. I mean, she purchased a Native American at the beginning of the episode. That sort of full-circle poetry is why the show’s never displayed a dull moment.

With Asher taking notes on the recorded argument they had earlier, I’m not sure whether to believe he’s trying to better himself by self-critiquing for the sake of personal growth and learning to accept responsibility instead of being an excuse factory… or just as a means to game Whitney and win arguments. I hope he at least took from the class that emotional intelligence begins with being self-aware.

The final moments of this episode completely knocked me for a loop. Though Nala’s wish didn’t first come true, it does rear its head all the same, coming full circle. Hmm, I also noticed the “C” in the title itself is circular, as are camera lenses. The show never lets up giving me frissons of simultaneous dread and excitement — a fever dream I don’t mind being enveloped in.

That snake charm was more than just on the set of keys to one of Whitney’s abodes in this episode. It’s also in Whitney. Let me find out there is no fucking consultant position. I have a feeling Whitney just bought Cara’s whole artistic identity for twenty stacks, even though Cara might be smarter than to sign an actual signature, but even then, that’s fraud. She’s got her “friend” over a barrel, but what does she care? She got her way.

It’s also interesting for how it’s shot, with the camera lingering inside the bank to zoom in on Whitney until Paul with the audio coming in clear as fuck, as if they were mic’d up. We also get an odd scene of Asher getting made up for his confessional. This particular shot is interesting because it sets up a tonal shift visually. Something about seeing his warped reflection in the house is both funny-looking and creepy, almost like a clown. This is fantastic foreshadowing if his Arthur Fleck moment is in the cards.

The episode is named “Self-Exclusion”, for the voluntary act of a recovering addict signing away their rights to play at any casino for a set amount of time. I curiously think the language of the form itself might be the actual template Whitney uses to get people to sign away their rights. I don’t remember if we’ve gotten a look at Whitney’s form yet. The duo’s cowardly yet brazen tactics to ride roughshod over anybody that stands in their way is sickly poetic, since the most poisonous they are, are to each other.

5/5 Stars.

Isn’t It Romantic? ‘Quantum Leap’ Explores Relationships in “Nomad”

By
Mary Fan
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Image: NBC

Quantum Leap is all about time, and keeping track of it in the show can lead to some head scratching. Just how long has it been since Ben discovered that three years had passed back at HQ in what was, of him, the blink of an eye? Does he ever get to sleep? If each leap lasts only a few hours or at most days from his perspective, does that mean from his perspective, the whole show so far has only occupied a handful of weeks? Just how does he experience time?

I found myself wondering these things because of the rushed nature of his romance with Hannah. Scarcely a few episodes passed between him being heartbroken over Addison, who moved on during that three-year time jump, and him locking lips with another fetching blonde, midcentury super-genius Hannah.

And now she’s back, in episode 208, “Nomad.” The title refers to the asset (real name Layla) that Ben’s spy host is supposed to save from certain death, but it could just as easily apply to Ben himself. This time, he’s in 1961 Cairo, which Hannah just happens to be visiting for a conference. We get a few fun moments of international intrigue, where Ben, as a CIA agent investigating how Russia was operating in the Middle East during the Cold War, has some nasty run-ins with the Stasi, the former East German secret police.

Image: NBC

But all that feels like it fades into the backdrop once Hannah shows up on the scene. Despite Ben wearing a different face, she somehow recognizes him without him saying a word. She mentions that she’s asked numerous strangers over the six years since their last encounter too. At no point does she or anyone else bring up what happened after Ben leaped mid-kiss following their last encounter. And neither do they care what becomes of this current host, whose face the show doesn’t even bother revealing via the usual reflection or photo.

Look, I get that Quantum Leap is just a sci-fi show, and perhaps it’s better to just sit back and enjoy the ride. But gaps in logic (and ethics) like this just bother me. I wish I could go “aww” over Ben and Hannah’s softly lit, whisper-acted, gooey-eyed romantic moments. I love me a good romance, after all. But the fact that Ben is occupying someone else’s body — someone who hasn’t consented to any of this — is simply too distracting. Have you ever woken up after a wild night out and been told you made out with some stranger while blacked out? That’s pretty much what’s happening to these hosts.

Worse, there’s a moment when it looks like Ben might have failed in his leap. The mission goes wrong, and Nomad/Layla (who really feels like an afterthought despite being the episode’s titular character) is presumed dead. Ben faces the possibility of being stuck in 1961, and all anyone can say is, “Well, at least he’s with Hannah! Maybe this is his happy ending!” Um… what about his host? Where is his host during all this, anyway? Unlike the original show, which showed the hosts in the Waiting Room, this version never explains that (or where Ben’s body is).

Image: NBC

Meanwhile, Addison and Tom appear to be moving quickly as well. Addison is convinced that he’s about to propose. She’s also perfectly happy third-wheeling with her ex and his new girlfriend, and doesn’t seem too bothered over the speculation that the reason they keep meeting across time is because they’re in love, implying that Ben has some kind of control over his leaps. In the original, it was revealed that Sam could have leaped home whenever he wanted. Is that true for Ben too? Did Addison simply not matter enough to him for that to happen, but Hannah, who he’s known for a matter of days, is so special that he encounters her again and again? Ouch.

The show really feels like it’s borrowing from the novel / TV show The Time Traveler’s Wife this season, and showrunner Martin Gero has mentioned that the story line will conclude in Season 2. I have a feeling that will mean Ben eventually encounters an aged Hannah on her deathbed, with dramatic music playing for full tragic effect.

Anyway, despite wanting to enjoy the spy thriller aspect and the dramatic backdrop of Ben’s first international leap, the romance aspect was simply too distracting for me. We spent an entire season investing in Ben and Addison as a couple — the whole reason Ben leaped in the first place was to save her life — and while I don’t entirely object to breaking them up for dramatic effect, throwing in a replacement girlfriend so quickly isn’t working for me.

Unfortunately for me, it seems Hannah is here to stay (for season 2 at least). Here’s hoping one of the writers finally speaks up on behalf of Ben’s hosts before the pair decides to sleep together and we have to wonder whether she date-raped someone.

2.5 / 5 stars.

‘Wonka’ Is a Delightfully Sweet Treat Perfect for the Holiday Season

By
Josh Speer
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It may surprise you, dear reader, that the person who decided to review Wonka isn’t someone that suffers from a debilitating sweet tooth. Don’t get me wrong, I love a sweet reward now and again. But even when I was a young boy trick or treating, I cared more about sorting my haul than actually eating it. That said, there is one thing I definitely share with the titular protagonist: We’re both dreamers. And while that might seem insufficient on occasion, sometimes all you need in life is a dream and the motivation to make it a reality.

Wonka | Rainbow

One thing that struck me as somewhat of a revelation in recent years is how talented Timothée Chalamet is. I went from barely knowing who he was to fervently looking forward to what he’ll do next. It’s not easy having a range that encompasses Paul Atreides, a terrifying drifter, and Willy Wonka. So it’s fair to say he’s having a moment right now, and I welcome it. For his current role, he brings a captivating, energetic charisma to bear. He’s constantly singing and dancing (and sometimes awkwardly rhyming). Wonka is optimistic to a fault, and manages to use his mystical knowledge of chocolate making to conduct acts of culinary magic.

Wonka | Colman

Now, many prequels fail to live up to the original, but I’m happy to say that Wonka is at least as entertaining as Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (the original classic, not the creepy Johnny Depp version). A big part for that success comes down to the directing of Paul King, who you may know from the ridiculously cozy Paddington movies. Wonka moves at a brisk pace, with extravagantly colorful set pieces and a cast that’s equally capable of dark humor and goofy slapstick. That includes the likes of Keegan-Michael Key, who plays a corrupt police chief; Olivia Colman, a demented innkeeper that enslaves her poor inhabitants to work off their debt in her laundry prison; and Rowan Atkinson AKA Mr. Bean as a chocoholic priest.

Wonka | Cartel

Then there’s the Chocolate Cartel, a trio of miscreants including Slugworth, Prodnose and Fickelgruber, that has the Gallery Gourmet on complete lockdown, and who pushes any upstart new shop out, and that’s if they’re lucky. There’s also relative newcomer Noodle, played by Calah Lane. She starts out as a broken down and broken-hearted orphan, but with Willy’s help, she finds a new drive to make something positive of her life.

The crux of the movie is that Willy wants to open up a shop in the Gallery Gourmet, and he quickly finds that everything is weighed against him. Most of the cops are on the take, bribed by the Cartel in sweet, sweet chocolate currency. There’s also plenty of thieves and con men willing and able to take every silver Sovereign Willy owns, from shoe shine urchins to struggling young mothers.

Wonka | Bleacher

Perhaps the worst of all was the aforementioned innkeeper played by Colman, Mrs. Scrubitt, and her accomplice, the brutish Mr. Bleacher. She seems jolly and helpful at first, willing to keep Willy off the cold streets for a night. But he suddenly discovers he’s accrued debt for doing things such as using the stairs (coming and going), availing himself of the “mini bar” of soap, and even drinking a glass offered to him by Scrubitt herself. Young Noodle, who’s also “employed” by Scurbitt, tries to warn Willy to read the fine print before he signs Scrubitt’s contract. There’s just one problem: Willy is illiterate. So the optimistic young Wonka finds himself enslaved and thrown into the laundry dungeon.

Wonka | Captives

It wouldn’t be much of a movie if he stayed there, so fret not, Willy finds a way to evade these confines. But not before meeting and befriending a goofy cast of other inmates, including an accountant, failed comedian and others. At first they think Willy’s optimism is misguided, until he finds a way not only to escape each day, but to keep them from having to do an ounce of work.

Wonka and Noodle

I should mention that while Willy Wonka is more known for his chocolate-making skills than anything else, we learn here that he’s also something of an alchemist. In one flashback, he recounts how he was actually interested in being a magician first, but then his chocolatier mother instilled in him a drive to learn her skills. Especially after she died from an unspecified illness when he was younger. So in the present, Wonka is equipped with skills and masterful tools of his trade. Those include an unfolding cabinet of ingredients, a staff that doubles as a coat rack, and a hat that seemingly can hold an endless number of items. And when he makes chocolate, he doesn’t use basic ingredients or limit the palette of his confections. No, he uses all sorts of unusual flavors and ingredients, notably including giraffe milk.

If that wasn’t enough, most of Willy’s chocolates have secondary properties thanks to their exotic ingredients. Which isn’t a surprise if you’re familiar with the original movie, but it’s no less delightful here. There’s chocolates that make you hover, others that make you drunk and emotional, even one called Silver Linings that helps people get out of the doldrums. Later in the movie, his chocolates are spiked with something called Yeti Sweat, which shockingly cause those that eat them to grow colorful masses of hair all over their bodies.

Wonka | Keegan

There’s ups and downs in Willy’s quest, thanks in large part to the scheming of Slugworth and the Cartel. To my surprise, despite how sweet the movie was, it’s also a little bitter and dark at times. There’s a Dickensian quality to the inequality on display, with orphans and twisted innkeepers. Willy even bites the bullet not once, but twice, nearly getting exploded and then almost drowning. But it wouldn’t be a heroic journey without challenges, and I’m happy to say there’s plenty here to keep Wonka busy and the audience entertained. Perhaps one of my favorite moments is when he starts opening pop-up shops all throughout town, making money and ducking into the sewers whenever the Chief of Police and his cops arrive to bust him.

Wonka | Oompa Hugh

I’d be remiss if I didn’t touch on another exemplary performance in Wonka: Hugh Grant’s turn as an Oompa Loompa. I’m not a big fan of Mr. Grant normally. I didn’t think he was handsome in his earlier years, and I didn’t think he was charming in his later. But when he’s shrunk down into the form of a arrogant orange ninja? Then you have my attention. And he brings all his British gravitas to bear in a delightfully insane performance, complete with little songs and dances. Best of all, he’s after Wonka for reasons I won’t disclose, but which add a lot to the lore of the series.

Wonka | Atkinson

While there are no bad performances in Wonka, I am sad that we don’t get more screen time for the amazing Rowan Atkinson. I loved Mr. Bean as a kid, and I was excited to hear he was a part of the cast. But in reality, he’s on screen for maybe 10 minutes total, and the majority of that is towards the very end of the movie, much to my chagrin. On the plus side, when things really get crazy for him, it involves escaped zoo animals and a hungry, hungry giraffe chasing him. Other than that, my only real complaint is that I wanted to know more about Willy’s mother and childhood. Though in the grand scheme, these are pretty minor quibbles.

It’s hard to impart comedy in written form, but I’ll do my best to touch on some of the things that made Wonka such a delight. Part of Willy’s scheme to escape his confines involves tricking Mrs. Scrubitt into believing that Bleacher is some sort of Germanic lord, which escalates to him “showing some thigh” to captivate her. Then there’s what I call the Nutty Professor antics of Key’s Chief of Police, who gets more and more obese over the course of the movie thanks to his payment in chocolate. Perhaps one of my favorite things is when Hugh is trapped by Willy, only to escape and bash young Wonka upside the head with a frying pan.

Wonka | Shop Song

Combine this with the musicality of the movie, which not only features several original tracks, but even one very familiar song for fans. Some of the standouts were “Have You Got a Sweet Tooth”, “Scrub Scrub”, and “A World Of Your Own”. If it wasn’t enough that Chalamet is a talented actor, he also boasts an impressive singing voice, along with his constant dancing.

I won’t spoil the big moments of the movie, other than to say Noodle is more interesting that she first appears, and the Cartel’s stranglehold is undone by a well hidden treasure. Ultimately, the movie is all about one line delivered by Willy’s mother: “Every good thing in this world started with a dream“.

Wonka | End

In the end, Willy’s dream comes true, and he manages to make the world a better place in the process. It’s a wonderful and colorful film which is the perfect thing to get your mind off the darkness of the world, even for a little while.

The Curse Review: In “The Fire Burns On” Rebirth is Defined by Scorching, Not Shedding

By
Robert Kijowski
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I'm sure Dougie's called everyone in the department "chief" at one point. | photo: Anna Kooris | A24 | Paramount+ with SHOWTIME

In episode six of The Curse (Showtime/A24) titled “The Fire Burns On”, we’re dropped right in on Flipanthropy. Janice (Aliyah Lee) and Pascal (Alexander Adrian Gibson) are killing it with their on-screen chemistry before Whitney (Emma Stone) can present them with their house key, fittingly affixed to an artisanally crafted snake pendant. When asked about it, Asher (Nathan Fielder) with a forked tongue redefines its meaning to represent rebirth. Much like the opening of our last episode, we’re hit with a bad omen. Snakes never mean anything good, but the color palettes in these opening minutes are stunning and good enough to eat. The directorial decision to tantalize our eyes in this dream world is smart. It almost acts as a cold open, but I wouldn’t classify it as one for a reason we’ll soon find out.

Cut to: Reality. The footage thus far isn’t sitting well with Whit and isn’t giving Dougie (Benny Safdie) hope. Even the oversold enthusiasm of the “new homeowners” isn’t enough to make anything worth watching, and the jaunty music only underscores the fakery of it all.

I’m fucking glad that Whitney’s finally seeing the light, though that’s Dougie’s time to shine, which, to me, can only mean letting a bit of darkness in when Dougie’s “talent” is at long last sought. She’s beginning to open her eyes. What the show lacks is personality, and I love that Dougie knows he’s got a goldmine staring him in the face.

Her inherent frustration with Asher is enough to get anybody to tune in and veg out. I love that Dougie knows that to sell a vision, no matter how pie-eyed and utopian, you gotta give the people what they want, not what they think they need, and I would be willing to bet you dollars to donuts that more people watch reality shows for the conflict than for any resolution, real or fake. A staged trainwreck may leave bruised egos, but a real one will leave broken spirits. Now tell me, which sounds more intoxicating to you?

The way Whit bristles about Asher is the secret sauce. The way she lights up when bagging on her recalcitrant wad of a husband to Dougie is like drugs to me. It’s an angle that will give the show more buzz than her battery-powered “Steven”. I love that Dougie remains a goddamn mystery to me. He texts Cara but claims she’s ugly and hates her smoking. He’s honest in wanting a true connection, but also honest in going low for sky-high ratings. He talks ad nauseam about the fatal night but shies away from lingering on the death itself. My fascination with him only grows and the professional union of him and Whitney is brilliant because it’s not a Royal Flush. For someone who conducts themselves in inimical defiance of being held to account, Asher is just as scary if not more than the homunculus of Whitney-Dougie. He seems like he knows where the bodies are buried, and I’m sure for most of his life, he’s been the butt of many japes, so for my money, this power shift still looks more akin to a Mexican Standoff — they just don’t know it.

We get a few key tonal shifts in this episode that hit hard and fast. The first big one comes in the form of Asher at the hardware store with erstwhile co-worker Bill (David DeLao) icing him out, befuddling the fuck out of him. A few of the camera angles in this scene are a little suspicious, and the beat ends on an ominous note, prompting the title… but we’re already over a quarter into the episode! Just when I believe I’ve got a scintilla of the show in my grasp, it finds a way to remain inscrutable.

Whitney and Dougie working in tandem at the Española Fire Department shoot has me excited. It’s certainly a far cry from the start of the last episode, and with both making Asher the butt of the joke, we’re given space to get behind a side. Are we Team Whitney? Team Asher? Together, however bloody this may get, the show has a shot, so are we team Dougie? Or do we want to bear witness to the metaphorical house that the trio built burn to the ground? We’ve already seen Dougie socially scar a literal burn victim. Why not up the stakes with a married couple this time?

Fielder and Safdie keep the stakes high when we see that jeans store thefts are beginning to hemorrhage Whit’s bank account. Couple that with Cara not signing off on her art being used, and not giving a fuck is looking better to her. Her confidence starts to burn brighter with each take, even flirting with a fireman. It’s “good TV”, but Nathan and Benny have no reservations in making us, the audience aware of what the cameras don’t show you, emotion too raw for TV that invariably ends up on the cutting room floor. We all know Emma’s a revelation in this series, but Nathan is bringing it. It’s painful to watch but feels like something I need to bear witness to, much like Whitney’s abject sadness when listening to the Fire Chief describe the “baby drop off”, giving un-expecting mothers a choice. It’s watching the wind go out of each other’s sails, watching the light go out in their faces… and it’s fucking compelling TV.

Our second tonal shift is when we once again get our fair glimpse at Asher’s equipment when he uses the bathroom, this time for a longer duration. Normally I would say, who cares, you see it for more than a second and it’s just another shock tactic, but I honestly feel Nathan and Benny wouldn’t do anything in this show without merit to the grand scheme of chaos, this being the strips of chicken he notices on the sink, naturally accusing Dougie of a prank, injecting even more mystery into Asher’s taxing day.

I still get the feeling we’re getting B-Roll fed to us in some shots. I don’t see why since the B-Roll team caught Asher’s first bad deed they wouldn’t keep the camera rolling on the both of them. It would make sense they would overlook the eyes and ears of the production because of their status, and if this is the case, I give the show major kudos for cluing the audience to a plot point “hidden in plain sight.”

The tension crescendos at Questa Lane, where we see our tertiary and final tonal shift. After the visit from a chiropractor, I’m not entirely convinced Abshir (Barkhad Abdi) is better than when he started. It wouldn’t be a gift from Whitney if her best intentions didn’t fuck you in the ass and equally as disconcerting is Asher’s game of guessing with Nala (Hikmah Warsame), not for her ability but rather for his actions. A single rivulet of blood from a pained and worried HGTV co-host is another image (much like Fernando’s gun in the last episode) that remains seared in my brain. Nathan, you’ve done it again.

At slightly 38 minutes and change, this might be the shortest episode yet, the most whipsawing yet. Nathan Fielder in the director’s chair consecutively for two episodes is a great way to see his scope in a more cinematic fashion. Both episodes, though stand-alone in all facets, exist to me undeniably as a pair. Of what, exactly? Ironically, for all the shit that’s gone down in both episodes, I’d say a pair of Baoding balls.

We’re presented with more mysteries. What’s up with Bill? Could the crew have paid him to ignore Asher? Is the crew in on it? Though I suspected Dougie and Cara making fun of her behind her back (which I’m sure they do, just not in text messages), what are Dougie and Cara to each other? What’s up with that weird racist statue at the mini golf course in Albuquerque? How will Asher’s public torching go?

With Cara not letting up on exposing racist hypocrisy through art, something tells me that Whitney and Asher’s vile “valorization” of Española may be her biggest project yet. This series is hitting even harder now in the understanding that all things could and should be looked at with a finer lens (is that why the title font is so weird?). I’m catching a strong feeling that the devil is in the details, and details overlooked, animal, vegetable, or mineral, can and will do you in.

5/5 Stars.

Extracurricular Activities Provides a Twisty Magnum P.I. Episode

By
Josh Speer
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MAGNUM P.I. -- "Extracurricular Activities" Episode 518 -- Pictured: (l-r) Tim Kang as Detective Gordon Katsumoto, Lance Lim as Dennis, Stephen Hill as Theodore "TC" Calvin, Martin Martinez as Cade -- (Photo by: Zack Dougan/NBC)

If you caught trailers prior to tonight’s Magnum P.I., you’d be forgiven for thinking “Extracurricular Activities” was another comedic episode. While there are definitely lighthearted moments, this week takes things in a decidedly different direction than last week’s fantastic showcase of the comedy stylings of Jin.

The episode begins with Magnum playing frisbee with a group of young college kids. Despite only being on campus for a day, he already has a nickname, M Dog, and is invited to a toga party later. Thankfully Higgins is an adult, and keeps her free-spirited boyfriend on a short leash. They’re not at college for fun, after all, they’re here to investigate an allegation against one of the dean’s professors.

Sam Brody is a professor and bioengineer researching crop resilience. There’s lots of rumors swirling about him coercing sexual favors for research positions at his lab. The dean doesn’t want to ruin the man without proof, so Thomas and Higgins head out to find what they can. Higgy starts her usual hacking routine, but runs into an unexpected roadblock. The professor’s devices are all heavily encrypted. Meaning Thomas and Juliet are going to have to go back to school and surveil him the old school way.

Extracurricular Activities | Father and Son
MAGNUM P.I. — “Extracurricular Activities” Episode 518 — Pictured: (l-r) Stephen Hill as Theodore “TC” Calvin, Martin Martinez as Cade — (Photo by: Zack Dougan/NBC)

As for the rest of the team, they have a different extracurricular in mind. T.C. and Gordon are heading out for a father / son camping trip with their boys, after raiding La Mariana for supplies. Rick complains, as expected, and manages to whine his way onto the trip. Mostly for a chance to get some much needed sleep after dealing with his newborn for several months. Since they’re already taking so much food and supplies, T.C. and Gordon agree to let him come along.

Back at college, Juliet sits in on a Brody lecture, and overhears two girls gossiping about how one of them is on a first name basis with the professor. Then when one boy named Travis starts offering high-minded opinions, Juliet proves him wrong and accidentally embarrasses him. Later she goes to apologize, and realizes Travis may be the one circulating rumors about his professor. Mostly because he’s salty about not getting the research position, which he insists Brody only gives to attractive young women. Which is why he’s not trying for Brody’s open research position. Though Travis did overhear Brody making time with someone in his office the other night, who he thinks is a girl named Kelly.

Meanwhile Magnum heads to Brody’s office to get to his phone and upload some spyware. He’s pretending to be a repairman and gets in effortlessly, though the hack is a bit more complex. In order to access the phone, he makes an artificial fingerprint and starts the upload. As he twiddles his fingers, he gets a call from Juliet about how class is out and Brody’s heading back to his office. Problem is, the upload is taking forever. So poor Magnum has to hang from the window frame outside as Brody mills about. Fret not, he’s able to sneak back in without breaking any bones. And with the spyware in place, he finds texts from Brody about having company over, along with a cringy winky face emoji.

Extracurricular Activities | Snooping
MAGNUM P.I. — “Extracurricular Activities” Episode 518 — Pictured: Jay Hernandez as Thomas Magnum — (Photo by: Zack Dougan/NBC)

Magnum and Higgins do some surveillance from a vehicle parked close to Brody’s house, and find Travis was wrong about one thing. Brody isn’t interested in Kelly, he’s hot for a student named Helen. He’s about to get smoochy with the girl (apparently this isn’t their first tryst), when he mentions that the rumors about him means he has to give the research position to someone other than her. That ruins the mood, and Helen leaves, pissed. Our intrepid investigators thus decide to get Helen’s side of the story.

Back in the woods, it’s an awkward camping trip. Rick is playing pack mule, as Gordon forces the group to look for a rugged campsite, not one of the cushy, pre-made ones. Dennis is proud he got into Michigan in the fall, and when T.C. suggest Cade ups his college preparation, it’s clear Cade’s hiding something from his adoptive father. On the plus side, Rick brought a portable generator, which Gordon and T.C. think is too easy.

It turns out, Cade wants to enlist in the Marines, just like his adoptive father. T.C. isn’t happy about that, and just wants his boy to be safe. It dampens the mood, and T.C. is mopey. Gordon tries to lighten things with a deck of cards, but nobody wants to play. Then the next morning everybody other than Rick is exhausted. Turns out, Rick’s a bit of a snorer. He wants to make breakfast as recompense, just one issue—their generator and food are both gone.

Higgy continues to pretend she’s a transfer student, and talks her way to Helen’s table. Unfortunately she doesn’t get anywhere with her. Thomas has more luck finding a past assistant named Lydia who apparently killed herself 4 months ago. When they talk with Lydia’s mother, they discover she lost weight, couldn’t sleep, spent nights at the lab and didn’t talk with anybody. Magnum manages to get access to Lydia’s phone for answers.

Extracurricular Activities | Hot for Teacher
MAGNUM P.I. — “Extracurricular Activities” Episode 518 — Pictured: Perdita Weeks as Juliet Higgins — (Photo by: Zack Dougan/NBC)

Juliet has an old MI6 contact try and remotely figure out what’s happening with her faulty spyware, just as Magnum discovers Lydia was being blackmailed. A month before her death, Lydia met with the blackmailer in a cafe on campus, which happens to have cameras. And to my surprise, they didn’t show Professor Brody blackmailing the dead assistant. No, the blackmailer was Helen!

It gets worse—Higgy’s contact confirms that the spyware issue was that two different spyware programs were running on the same system. Which means Helen is a Chinese spy, not just a lovestruck student. She shows her true colors by pushing Brody to give her the position again, and he refuses. So she asks again with a pistol to his forehead.

In the woods, Rick and T.C. find a homeless man with all their food and generator. Him and his son have been living in the woods for months, and our team feels sympathy. So Rick loans the stuff to them until they don’t need it anymore, and it’s clear T.C. comes to a realization about Cade as well. He has to let his boy follow his own instincts, since he’s a proven survivor.

Though Brody resists, Helen decides to go the hard route and knocks him out, using his fingerprint to access his terminal and copy all his data. She wants to use his study of crop resilience to create deadly pathogens to use against China’s adversaries. With the mother lode in hand, she heads for the Chinese consulate, and it’s an epic race to get there before her. First in cars, and then with Higgy and Helen jumping on motorcycles. It seems Helen might get there first, until Magnum comes in and sideswipes the spy to the curb.

Extracurricular Activities | Bros
MAGNUM P.I. — “Extracurricular Activities” Episode 518 — Pictured: (l-r) Zachary Knighton as Orville “Rick” Wright, Stephen Hill as Theodore “TC” Calvin — (Photo by: Zack Dougan/NBC)

It ends with Brody resigning, though the dean is unwilling to bring all the facts to the surface. She’s clearly a political animal, and Thomas and Juliet aren’t happy she’s hiding things for expedience. But at least they can tell Lydia’s family how and why she killed herself, stressed to the max being forced to work for a spy. As for T.C., him and Cade finally talk, and he realizes he has to let his boy do what he wants. Overall a solid and well-written episode of Magnum P.I.

WITCHCRAFT! ‘Quantum Leap’ sends Ben further back than ever before

By
Mary Fan
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0
Photo: NBC

Rules are made to be broken, and in the case of Quantum Leap, the show has now thrown any pretense of staying within the leaper’s lifetime out the window. The show has broken the lifetime rule before, of course, both in the original and the reboot. But it’s never gone quite this far before.

Episode 207, “A Kind of Magic” takes place a whopping three centuries before Ben was born. It’s 1692, and Ben’s host is a Puritan servant girl named Elizabeth in Colonial Massachusetts. You know where this is going… yup, the witch trials.

Photo: NBC

The ginormous leap throws off the team back home because lack of historical records makes it hard for them to do their thing — you know, using articles and databases and whatnot to dig up info to help Ben on his leap. But other than that, they’re oddly nonchalant about the magnitude of the leap (other than a moment when Ian resorts to a seance to try to find out what went on back then). It’s just a brief moment of “whoa, that’s a long time,” rather than anyone fussing over how it’s even possible. Which I’m not too mad about because drawing out that conversation and getting into the nitty-gritty of the sci-fi tech wouldn’t be very fun. I’d rather focus on the leap anyway.

But before we get into that, another plot point that feels kind of swept under the rug is the whole thing with Rachel’s mysterious, unnamed “boss” spying on the project. Thanks to Rachel, that’s fixed now. I’ll bet it’ll pop up again in future episodes, but the team, again, feels a little to casual about the whole situation, which kind of kills the tension of that whole arc.

Photo: NBC

Anyway, onto the leap! Massachusetts 1692, witch trials, Ben in the mix… without having watched a single trailer, I knew immediately where this episode was going. Of course some poor innocent lady was going to be accused of being a witch by fire-and-brimstone Puritans — it’s a young woman called Bridget Smith, aka Goody Smith. Brief aside: “Goody” is an honorific, not a nickname. It was short for “Goodwife” and the equivalent of “Mrs.” for civilian women back in the day (whereas “Mistress”, which would later be abbreviated to “Mrs.” was for ultra-high-class women who were the heads of households).

Anyway, of course Bridget was being blamed for the town’s mysterious misfortunes, and of course Ben was going to try to science his way out of it and end up being accused of being a witch as well. The one wrinkle is when the local apothecary, an unconventional woman called Morgan, tries to stick up for the other two and ends up being the third accused witch.

Photo: NBC

Ben is here to save Bridget, and later himself and Morgan too. I wanted to be more invested in the story, but I just felt like I’ve seen it before. The ignorant Puritans, the impassioned but ultimately useless pleas for rationality, the historical misogyny… there wasn’t anything to set the episode apart from all the other tales about the witch trials out there.

It also stuck out to me that Ben didn’t even try to blend in, and didn’t seem too concerned about what kind of state he’d be leaving his host Elizabeth in when she returned to her body. I mean, he gives CPR, techno-babbles about the science behind the town’s misfortunes, and uses future knowledge to appear to summon divine intervention. What’s poor Elizabeth to do when she returns with no memory of any of this (as the current Quantum Leap has established that hosts black out during leaps)?

Photo: NBC

Ian and Jenn take turns being the hologram before Addison finally steps back into the imaging chamber… turns out, being the hologram takes skills that Ian and Jenn aren’t quite up for (they’re better off nerding it up behind the computers). I’m glad to see her back in her previous role — even the character acknowledges that she’s been sidelined, and I was starting to worry that she’d all but disappear from the show. That said, I do hope they keep rotating in Ian, Jenn, and Magic as circumstances require. Letting Ben interact with different members of the team provides more storytelling opportunities (the Ben/Addison romance-then-break-up thing feels played out at this point).

All in all, “A Kind of Magic” was decently executed, if a bit underwhelming. More than anything, the writing felt a bit careless. Which is a shame because this episode will be remembered as significant due to the magnitude of the time travel and really deserved better.

3/5 stars

The Curse Review: The Hosts and Their House Fail at Keeping Cool in “It’s A Good Day”

By
Robert Kijowski
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Do prisoners tell prison jokes WHILE in prison? | Richard Foreman Jr. | A24 | | Parmamount + with Showtime

The fifth episode of The Curse (Showtime/A24) titled “It’s A Good Day” starts with another day of filming, this time of the Juniper Lane couple, Lucinda (Nikki Dixon) and Dennis (Eric Peterson). Dougie (Benny Safdie) is visibly over and done trying to make lemonade with Whitney’s (Emma Stone) backseat directing, and the fugazi yet positive vibe immediately gives way to frustration, so we get apt foreshadowing in the very first scene. We also get a taste of what may be behind the voyeuristic moments when Whitney’s told off by cameraman Remi (Oscar Avila) “as a joke” and boom operator Jose (D.J. Arvizo) is accused of listening in on her getting Asher (Nathan Fielder) to obtain couple’s signatures on a contract so duplicitous, even Janus would be jealous.

The contentious Pueblo lease agreement negotiations are enough to make anybody sweat, but this Juniper Lane abode has that covered with inefficient cooling. To me, the use of Whitney’s houses as a metaphor for the couple themselves is still exceptional, cinematic storytelling. The internal elements clash while externally, the mess calls attention to itself by trying so hard to fit in. Whit’s houses are like an extension of her, which isn’t a compliment. It’s why she takes umbrage with buyers changing anything inside. I would even argue the structures themselves are monuments to past trauma.

Speaking of, another side of Whit is unceremoniously unveiled when dad Paul (Corbin Bernsen) and mom Elizabeth (Constance Shulman) show up to filming unannounced. It’s a smart and believable move because when nothing’s going right, the last thing anybody wants is a reminder of the source. Whitney’s febrile outburst about the land she was “promised” by her parents legit took me aback and the air of unironic entitlement concerning a whole community only highlighted how threadbare her cloak of philanthropy is. I’m not ashamed to admit, that when her day is further derailed, I was legitimately giddy. It’s as if the universe was giving her a complimentary class on diplomacy but instead of proving her parents wrong by handling her shit like a boss bitch, she crumbles under the weight of her cowardice.

I’m happy to report, she’s no better than her husband in lacking a vertebrae, especially with Fernando (Christopher D. Calderon). I love that the fantasy continues to erode before her very eyes when she notices her star barista still packing heat, a surreal image that exists rent-free in my brain. Whitney’s ignorance is truly bliss for me. It’s like a damn narcotic when she hands over her credit card to pave over future incidents of theft because it’s the most myopic I’ve seen her yet. I want her to succeed, but only time will tell.

Money does seem to have a big presence in the show, so I’m beginning to think it could be the curse. Whitney grew up with no need to worry about it and judging by Asher’s constant state of anxiety about it, he’s most likely used to not having it. Something’s lining up with his former employment and how hard he doubles down and keeps hitting in situations that could easily sink the entire city… but so far, I’m only getting intimations of what fireworks may be in store.

If the two pompous poltroons want to see any tangible results, they gotta get their beautifully manicured hands dirty by being just fucking good people, but Benny and Nathan have done a great job of reminding them they’ve nothing to warrant or legitimize their presence in Española. One such reality check comes in the form of Cara Durand (Nizhonniya Luxi Austin). Able to see through Whitney’s bullshit, her being called on only has the artist passive-aggressively calling out her fraudulent friend.

The Siegels are not welcome and I’m not mad at the show for knocking the deluded duo down a peg here and there; it’s when their truest selves show. I’m also not mad at Cara and Dougie for potentially having chemistry. Their alliance could add some explosive moments to the pretty decent trash fire currently underway.

Whitney just becomes further unglued when she sees the opportunity to use people on the street as “avatars” (re: tokens) for her houses as if this were an effing Sims game. The dialogue hits so real because it rawly encapsulates her: the candy-coated outside belying the evil within. I would assuredly earmark this as an eye-opening moment.

To be fair, had I any doubt of it being so, the scene gives the audience a glaring clue to the show’s conspiratorial tone in the way it’s being presented. It’s the first time we see someone not affiliated with the show in the direct shot and the first time a person breaks the fourth wall by acknowledging the camera. I’m sure naysayers would deride this as just another ‘arthouse’ moment A24 fans can collectively nut to, but to me, it’s an inspired decision. The thing is, even though it’s detail kind of hard to miss, it’s just a taste. The inscrutability of the show hasn’t waned for me, especially with Asher and Whitney becoming more apparent, so why not just let it ride?

Asher for some reason didn’t feel as weighty in this episode, but his lying then yelling at Dennis and Lucinda, going behind his wife’s back and against her wishes for a sale, and mistaking her comment for a self-deprecating joke gave me new insights. Nathan does a great job of exemplifying someone with a total lack of regard for himself, or the only person in the world he wants to please. He also made me believe that he’s genuinely trying to wipe out some karmic debt with Questa Lane.

The dude’s far from exceptional, but at least he doesn’t have as much of a god complex as Whitney does. This temerity is deliciously checked when she must compromise when Asher nabs a buyer in Mark Rose (Dean Cain), someone whose surface ideals her branding doesn’t align with. Whitney takes this as a crushing blow rather than a chance to grow and therein lies the magic of these two titans of tantrums.

They operate with the grace of a bike with a flat. Even their wins are losses because they’re not united. Still, despite some untoward moments of theirs, I’m pushing for reformation, for recovery. That latter is a theme I’m beginning to notice in Asher. Comedically, recovery is an Achilles’ heel but let me find out it extends out into former addiction as well. It would bring even more grit to the character.

At first, I wasn’t completely blown away by this episode. However, as of this writing, I believe the 53 minutes and change did what it set out to do in introducing new problems that determine which way the wind will blow for the remainder of the season while giving us some vague answers through choice camera shots. These elements make it enough of a high-wire act for any director, but Nathan Fielder made sure these elements made it to the finish in what, pacing-wise, felt more like a slurry than a storm. Sure, if you know and love Fielder’s idiosyncratic brand of humor, the sentiment isn’t one of derision but more of observation. I would say for a mid-season episode, the alchemic talent it takes to mix the cantankerously contentious Whit, the hilariously thirsty fill-in Pascal (Alexander Gibson), and the leaden atmosphere of Mark’s arrival isn’t going unnoticed. Sure, the pacing seemed slightly soporific, but it was far from static. I just hope we’ve not seen the last of Mark Rose, as the albatross around Whitney’s neck was set up as too much of a fucking snack not to have been dreamt up by some ancient god of mischief.

Lastly, the closing shot of the malevolent married couple, worlds apart, snuggled under Cara’s violent artwork assuredly lets me know that everything’s far from copacetic, so the show surely delivers on hitting that last beat so right.

4/5 Stars.

Napoleon, an epic…comedy.

By
Norton
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0

Ridley Scott’s latest historical epic Napoleon is less historical and more aspirational? I’ll be honest, as a big fan of the legendary Emperor of France, I went into this movie excited to see my man conquer the big screen. Unfortunately, what I got was another movie that proves Joaquin Phoenix can’t play anyone but himself.

But, before I get into my rant, let’s cover the few positive things about the film. First and foremost, though highly inaccurate, the battle scenes are easily the best things in this movie. The sheer scope, detail, and emotion of these moments truly prove what this epic could have been. It’s almost sad really, because it’s a glimpse at greatness in a sea of subpar.

My favorite, by far, is the battle that ends with Napoleon tricking his enemy onto a frozen lake and then shooting cannonballs to break the ice beneath them (factually inaccurate, like most of the movie). I just sat there in awe of how amazing Napoleon was, and also how ruthless in war. That’s what you want, though: someone who puts their emotions aside and beats their enemy down in body, spirit, and mind. There’s a line in the movie where a British general is talking to the king of Austria (I think; I honestly ignored a lot of the details since the movie clearly didn’t care about them either), and he describes Napoleon as brutal. How boss is that?

Secondly, gotta give props to my girl Vanessa Kirby for playing Napoleon’s embattled first wife Josephine. Now, I’ve seen Kirby in The Fast and the Furious movies, I’ve seen her in The Crown, girl’s got range, and I love her for it. But here? Oof, she does what she can, I imagine, but like Phoenix, there are a number of times where I feel she breaks character and Scott simply doesn’t care. Mostly, I’m giving her more credit than she’s due because I really don’t like Phoenix as an actor in general. Kirby has proven herself capable of fantastic range and emotional depth, and here she even gets to give her inner Posh Spice a spin (that scowl!), while Phoenix never feels like he plays anything other than a quirky man-baby with delusions of grandeur.

The third, and final plus side is the costuming and set design. For as stupid as this movie is allowed to be at times, the costumes and set design do not shirk their responsibilities, becoming the only elements that remind the audience that this is supposed to be a serious movie, guys! I feel a little bad, as the acting and writing do not live up to the promise the costumes and set design speak of.

That’s about all the praise I can give this film. Actually, there is one other point I can give to this movie that’s a bit of a double-edged sword. It is hilarious. Honestly, unexpectedly, and at times painfully, funny. From Napoleon’s horse getting its chest caved in by a cannonball to the pissy catfights between the emperor and his wife, this movie is ripe with truly random moments of hilarity. There’s a line during one of the contentious dinners between Napoleon and Josephine where she calls him fat and he, for real, responds, “Destiny has brought me this lamb chop!”. Like…seriously??? It felt like an outtake that had somehow snuck its way into the finished product. There are plenty of these moments throughout the film where I couldn’t help but laugh at the absurdity and I wasn’t sure if that was on purpose or not. I kind of hope not, because if it was, then what exactly is this movie supposed to be? What is the tone Scott was going for?

And, speaking of the director, allow me to bring up the main issue that plagued this movie: a man who should retire. Much like his subject matter, Scott is past his prime but too stubborn to admit it. I’ve seen Gladiator; it was an amazing movie with a simple plot but great acting, direction, and casting. This? This is a fart. Mind you, I’m not picking on Scott either. I recently saw Killers of the Flower Moon, and I would say the same to Martin Scorsese. Killers is a looooooooong movie, but to his credit, it doesn’t feel as long as it is; however, it is weirdly structured. The movie jumps around a lot, very similar to Napoleon in that sense, but both movies have something else in common: they are beautiful. As I’m a believer in constructive criticism, I would suggest that these guys give up directing and instead become cinematographers. While the staging, direction, and pacing of their movies can be questionable at times, the imagery is not.

One of my biggest complaints is Phoenix, who, for most of this movie, felt like he’d messed up his line or let loose some odd ad-lib or just dropped out of character entirely (that feeling was consistent), seeming to admire the period piece he’d been cast in like some You-Tube prankster. The instances of his inner monologue making it to the screen ruined sincere moments. Frankly, I don’t think Kirby had to do much acting to look as annoyed as she did.

Also, what the hell was up with that weird toxic relationship? Kirby’s Josephine appears largely disinterested in Napoleon for practically all of it. She dances with him in a detached way, seduces him in a detached way, and fights for their relationship in a — you guessed it — detached way! In fact, one of the only times we see her come to life feels like an accident. During the divorce scene, Josephine can’t stop laughing, but it doesn’t fit the scene too well. I mean, up until that point, she’d understood the idea that she had to get a divorce since she wasn’t making any heirs, but then the moment comes, and she’s just laughing at the absurdity. It genuinely felt like Kirby was laughing at having to act next to a guy like Phoenix.

There’s a lot to hate about this movie. The strange pacing that doesn’t seem to give a shit about its subject so much as battles both on the field and in his personal relationship. The Oppenheimer level of awkward sex. The historical inaccuracies that rob the subject of his true accomplishments and boils him down to all the worst stereotypes ever made of him. The poor use of score which forces the audience to wonder if the director fell asleep while editing it, because there are some jolly musical backups to what should be somber scenes. And of course, the acting, writing, and directing. But, to be honest, as much as I’ve ranted against this movie, I actually didn’t hate it.

Overall, Napoleon’s absurd humorous undercurrent saves it from being a complete dud. So long as you can embrace the fact that no one making this movie actually cared about it, save for the cinematographer, costume designer, and set designer, you can just go with the flow. Enjoy it as another bullshit Joaquin Phoenix performance dressed up as an Oscars vehicle. I have no doubt he and Kirby will get nominated for their work here, if only because they played dress up as two well-known historical figures, but they really shouldn’t win. Napoleon should not be Oscar bait for anything other than score, costumes, set design, and cinematography (essentially, any technical award). This is, in my humble opinion, the kind of “historical epic” Tommy Wiseau would have churned out. Ok… this is easily better than anything he ever made, so congrats Ridley Scott, you edged out a guy several leagues below you.

The thing is, if Scott had simply made a historical epic set in France during Napoleon’s time and created a Napoleon proxy character instead of focusing on actual Napoleon, I believe this movie would have been received a lot better. Because, in all honesty, for as weirdly funny as moments in the film are, it isn’t without charm. The battle scenes are epic, the drama is delicious if not over the top, and without tying itself to a being a movie about Napoleon, it could have easily soared as a borderline satirical romp through the ridiculousness of French aristocracy/royalty, the ambitions of one man, and a marriage decidedly on the rocks. But, by labeling the movie “Napoleon”, it loses that freedom and gets a harsher criticism than I think is deserved.

If I want to really stretch and give Scott some kind of “genius” credit, I would wager a guess that this is in reality a movie about Trump. Here’s a man who definitely didn’t come from nothing, and certainly didn’t conquer everything, but in this movie he is touted as a battle genius, made emperor, and gets a hot detached wife. If that’s not Trump, I don’t know who is (granted, this would be a warning type of movie, but still). Even the way Phoenix plays Napoleon feels like a Trump impersonation. The little man-child in charge says insane things throughout the movie, makes horrible choices, gets his own men killed in droves because of these choices, and never takes the hint that he’s disgraced his country despite being exiled from it — twice! But that’s me giving Scott and this movie waaaay too much credit.

Bottom line? Save this one for on-demand or streaming, or even when it hits cable in what I’m guessing will be no time at all. Don’t waste any real money on this. Napoleon deserved better, and so do we.

Consciousness of Guilt Lets the Humor Shine in Magnum P.I.

By
Josh Speer
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MAGNUM P.I. -- "Consciousness of Guilt" Episode 517 -- Pictured: (l-r) Jay Hernandez as Thomas Magnum, Jon Lovitz as Pierre -- (Photo by: NBC)

Don’t let the dramatic start to the latest episode of Magnum P.I., “Consciousness of Guilt”, fool you. Sure, the main story is about a murder. But the best part of the episode is a humorous arc involving Jin, with a fun little cameo from the legendary Jon Lovitz.

It all starts with a frantic call to 911. A man named Tate Walker says his brother Michael had a horrible accident and isn’t breathing. Fast forward to a skeptical Gordon Katsumoto checking out the scene and then talking with Tate. As his brother lies lifeless in the pool, Gordon catches Tate in an inconsistency. Then we jump forward again, with Gordon on the stand in Tate’s trial. It’s going well at first, until his shady lawyer plays a game of character assassination on Katsumoto. Despite evidence that seems to point to Tate murdering Michael over their dead mother’s estate, the trial ends in a hung jury. Worse, they’re not willing to retry the case without serious evidence. But Gordon’s not done yet.

Cut to Jin with headphones on, a shirt emblazoned with the title Jin Dog, and him dancing like a maniac to, well, Flashdance’s “Maniac”. Apparently the goofball is a dog walker now, and he uses his client’s code to walk in and grab the happy puppy, Pippin. Just one problem — a woman named Margot is there, and says Ms. Fredricks is on a cruise for a couple weeks, so Jin’s not needed until she gets back. Despite nothing seeming dramatically out of sorts, he’s very, very suspicious.

MAGNUM P.I. — “Consciousness of Guilt” Episode 517 — Pictured: (l-r) Jay Hernandez as Thomas Magnum, Tim Kang as Detective Gordon Katsumoto — (Photo by: Zack Dougan/NBC)

At La Mariana, Rick is regaling Magnum and Higgins with his horrible new leprechaun voice, which is a hit with his baby Joy. He’s been using it to entertain her since he’s finally living with his baby momma and bundle of joy. T.C. finally has things going his way as well, and is hot and heavy again with his lady friend, Mahina. Which leads to Higgins asking if her and Magnum spend too much time together, and are “missing out on missing each other”. Which falls squarely under “be careful what you wish for”, as Jin comes in hot.

He rushes into the bar, saying that Ms. Fredricks is missing and something is clearly wrong with this Margot person. And as “a former thief / con artist / male model”, he knows a criminal when he sees one. So a very unsure Higgins is roped into working with him, while Magnum goes to talk with Gordon about a potential murderer set free by the justice system.

MAGNUM P.I. — “Consciousness of Guilt” Episode 517 — Pictured: Taylor Handley as Tate Walker — (Photo by: Zack Dougan/NBC)

Gordon wants Thomas to find something, anything to convince the jury to retry the Walker case. He loops in Magnum, and says Tate is from East Coast money, a spoiled golden boy. Tate claimed he was at his private cigar club when his brother Michael suddenly died. Worse is the fact the judge that tried the case is a member as well. So Magnum and Rick decide to take a little detour to see what’s what.

Magnum and Rick walk into the cigar club in big pimping style, with a day pass as prospective members. Rick worked his magic, and he really knows his cigars. So much so that he’s able to pepper the club manager with questions and keep him distracted while Magnum snoops. Though he doesn’t find anything in the club’s records that might indicate Tate left the club early, Tate suddenly walks in, providing another avenue of investigation. They chat, and the man says he’s celebrating his freedom. He also knows who Magnum is, as he was warned about him by his lawyer. He warns Magnum off, and makes things more complicated with a restraining order.

MAGNUM P.I. — “Consciousness of Guilt” Episode 517 — Pictured: (l-r) Zachary Knighton as Orville “Rick” Wright, Jay Hernandez as Thomas Magnum — (Photo by: Zack Dougan/NBC)

Not content to quit, Magnum finds that Tate was dropped by his first attorney right before the trial. So he goes to see an old frenemy played by Jon Lovitz. He makes a living taking naughty pictures of people to provide evidence to spouses and significant others. Thomas walks right into his car as he’s taking some photos, and asks about the attorney, named Zoey. Lovitz had been asked by her to do some snooping about her would be client, and whatever he found made her jump ship. It’s something called Ocean Sunset Oldies, a LLC under Tate’s mothers name.

To the surprise of nobody, Jin is not great when he’s stressed. He’s inhaling cheese puffs over Higgins’s shoulder while she looks into Margot. Everything she finds seems clean as a button, but he pushes her to keep looking, while getting cheese dust everywhere.

In the ongoing misadventures of Jin and Higgy, he gets a text from the old woman he’s immediately suspicious of. For one thing, she calls him Jin, which is weird, since he tells Higgins Ms. Fredricks always called him John, despite his best efforts. Higgy has had enough, so she leaves Jin to his search. Which ends up with him trying to use the code to get into the house again, and finding it’s been changed. Which then leads to a hilarious sequence with Jin trying to use the doggie door to get in instead, and getting stuck like Winnie the Pooh. Only the clever use of a doggie toy and Pippin playing tug of war get Jin through, but then he finds Margot pretending to be the old woman and talking about signing over paperwork. He also spies she has a pistol.

Magnum and Gordon suspect that Tate might have paid off a witness named Harris $50K. Harris was a gardener at the mother’s estate. That search leads to a possible missing woman named Paula that Magnum cannot find. But that doesn’t stop either of them, so they head to talk with Harris about Paula. This leads to the revelation that 20 years ago, Tate killed Paula, and Harris came upon the body. Only to be paid hush money by Tate’s mother, and then again in the present by Tate. Magnum thinks Harris killed Michael, but he says it’s not him. Plus, Michael had called Harris about Paula’s murder. Then Gordie and Magnum realize there’s something odd about how Tate refuses to sell his dead mother’s house, and wondering why.

MAGNUM P.I. — “Consciousness of Guilt” Episode 517 — Pictured: Stephen Hill as Theodore “TC” Calvin — (Photo by: Zack Dougan/NBC)

Jin hides in Margot’s trunk, and seemingly finds the old lady’s corpse there. Terrified, he calls Higgins just before his battery dies. Realizing Jin wasn’t full of crap for once, she calls T.C. and asks for him to search the skies in an Island Hopper chopper. Then, as an added jump scare, Jin realizes the old lady isn’t dead, just hurt badly. Margot shot her, dumped her in the trunk and was getting ready to steal her money. Jin does his best to fight off Margot, but she manages to grab her gun and train it on him. Luckily Higgins is a better shot, and her and T.C. arrive in a chopper to save the day.

As for the main case, Magnum and Gordon get a warrant to check under a patio in the mother’s house, and find a skeleton. That’s enough to get Tate imprisoned for one murder, and more than enough evidence to look into the suspicious death of his brother Michael. It all ends with Magnum and Higgy realizing they don’t spend too much time together and dancing to slow music. Overall a pretty solid and fun episode, and thankfully one where Jin got to really shine comedically.

It was Nice Getting to know You Before The World Was Doomed

By
Christian Angeles
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0
Photo Planet Earth aerial view
Image Credit: Andrey Armyagov

A lot is happening in the world right now and the last thing you’ll probably want to hear is a final post on this blog from me. Yet, I thought it important to close this 6-year chapter of my life. Say something honest to talk about why it is I’m finally leaving, but also, to honestly address where I see the industry is going.

To be clear, this piece is meant to address why I have chosen to finally step away from The Workprint, the website and blog that for all intents and purposes, have helped rebuild since 2018. It’s very hard for me to say goodbye as I’ve learned so much here. It’s been sad to say the least saying bye to the place that taught me so many things.

Now, not many people know who I am but they have seen my work a bit of everywhere. I’ve got a couple of quotes for my gaming coverage on Steam. Death threats for my critical take on Cyberpunk 2077 when it was first released. I’ve worked with major brands covering shows from Prime Video, Netflix, Paramount, and NBC Universal. Had done more than my share of Marvel coverage for the comics and unlimited line and even, online movie premieres. 

I have been plagiarized, pull-quoted, and asked a million times over to attend an event, function, or convention, writing about the most random topics and the most indie games and premieres. You name it. I’ve done it. Playing point person here for just about everything. From movies to games, to TV, Film, and indies. On average, I probably am sent 50 E-mail solicits a day.

Yet when I talk about The Workprint, almost immediately, everyone thinks that it’s my website. It isn’t. Nor has it been. Nor will it be, despite my over 100 episodes of podcasts edited and recorded along with efforts to monetize and get writers onboard. My life the past few years has been answering a sea of e-mails from every PR organization from every major player you can imagine. I am a living breathing communications network these days.

Honestly, for such a small outlet, we have such a large amount of connections, partially from the work we put out before I came on here, but also in many due thanks, to the work I put out there time and time again. Gaming. Film. TV shows. Board games. Indies. I prided for so long in myself in creating a place where voices matter. It’s what my podcast monomythic was about. It’s why I wanted to be a journalist.

My interview skills are a specialty of knowing the market while also taking deep dives into the lives of creators – getting to share their story and just how much their project, big or small, meant to be out there and find its place in the world. 

In my time here, we had a longstanding relationship with Syfy working on titles such as Resident Alien. We also built a relationship with IDW—covered events in NYC during the pandemic. Even interviewed a slew of creatives from Marvel and IDW along with just about any creative product by SYFY or even NBC.

Suffice it to say I’m proud of what our little outlet achieved.

But now the hard part. The reason I’m leaving is I decided to just write for myself. I am juggling too many writing projects between my comic books, my book deal, and hopefully, a TV show that I’ve been asked to script for a pitch. Having been onboarded at TheBeat, arguably one of the last vestiges for good comics journalism with the legendary Heidi MacDonald, I can’t really pass up these opportunities right now. Not with so much going for me… which leads me to another issue I’m experiencing: getting older.

Health problems. I’m 35 now and things are slowing down with my body. I can’t push over the edge anymore and I’m in dire need of self-care that I’ve been neglecting. The past few months, I’ve had an MRI done on my brain due to a DVA I’ve had in there since I was about 17 (I’m 35 now), along with a CT scan of my lungs due to discovering that my entire workspace has been flooded with high amounts of radon that I’ve been breathing in for over a decade.  

Thankfully, both ended up being clear. No signs of cancer (which was what I was afraid of) and I pray that it stays that way. However, I have to acknowledge that at this age, I can’t really neglect myself any longer. I see that now and so I am going to try and lose weight and eat a heck of a lot healthier than I have. Because none of this means anything if you run out of time. And health? Kinda the big gatekeeper of how much time you have on this planet.

Though that’s not the only reason I’m going.

In all honesty… the industry seems more doomed now than ever before.

In the past year, I’ve seen my cohorts in gaming, comics, and most especially, the journalism space of the industry get laid off. If not at least one time this year, then multiple times in the past several. People who are far more talented than I am and who by far deserve better are being laid off. People, not just with a slew of bylines, but also, a genuine work ethic in trying to get the truth out there. Just people trying to share the story… 

In all honesty, journalism seems like its dying. PR maybe not so much, but even then, who do you go to when everyone is no longer there to report the story?

It makes me worry about my future. For any graduates out of college right now, the best word of advice I can give is it pick up a practical skill. To be reassured about attending trade schools. Better yet, to start your own business and brand as it seems impossible to survive right now unless you’re hustling, though to also, keep a day job while you’re at it, because this entire job market is all but non-guaranteed – no matter the skillset… Minus maybe healthcare, though not doctors, who at this point, may be better off going to school as nurse practitioners or physician assistants, as their jobs are also starting to be relegated to other services as well.  

I’ve also seen a slew of people in technology be laid off. Which in total as of now, stands to be around 300,000 in the past two years.  Today alone, Spotify just announced they were laying off 1,500 people. Everyone seems to say tech is safe, but from what I see, I do think this is the next sector to get replaced with AI. A lot of the tech skillsets will probably no longer be needed. At the same time, a lot of the AI replacing these types of labor is still in its early days of seeing what’s useful versus what’s noise, so there’s no guarantee for work there, either.

In the comics space, which has notoriously always been rather rife with changes, there have been layoffs at Image, Oni, DC, and IDW – the last of which, I was providing coverage for as a new beat on the site before layoffs hit them as well. Hell, even in the entire journalism space, Vox and Conde Nast just announced layoffs. G/O media just shut down Jezebel entirely. Bustle Digital group has repeatedly performed layoffs this year. In the gaming sector, about 6500 people have been laid off  in what’s strangely being considered, the greatest gaming year in over a decade – though one terrible for anyone working in the industry.

What’s strange to me is that most of these places are claiming it’s because of the pursuit of getting revenue into the green. This is why you’re seeing things like WB content being pulled before debut for the sake of a tax writeoff, though all of which, doesn’t seem to coincide well with a growth-based acquire users for the sake of services as an economy, especially when interest rates were so low less and just about everyone was spending, unrealistically in favor of high-growth models of revenue. 

Add on top of this AI-driven content this past year from places such as Sports Illustrated, CNET,  and AI Content-driven websites and it’s become painfully obvious the direction this industry is heading. 

If I had to gamble, which I am with my future, I’m well aware, I’d rather take this risk on in spaces I truly care about and feel like I can make a difference. That’s in writing, both fiction, but also, non-fiction, as there are a ton of stories I want to share that I’m starting to see… perhaps only I can. 

Climate change is approaching the point of no return. We’re at war globally just about everywhere in the world. Nowhere’s entirely safe. Humanity feels like it’s at a breaking point and I refuse to sit down and watch my fellow humans go through it.

So I’m going to tell the hard truth through my writing. If not as a journalist, then as someone who can forge entertainment into a wake-up call. Sort of address things I see always being neglected and am to sick of seeing go past without something being said.

That’s why I’m leaving. I want to help save this planet before it’s too late… or die trying.

And I plan on doing that through stories

Good luck everyone. Thank you for reading. I hope you’ll follow what I’m trying to do, at ComicsBeat, but also, just the writing on the whole.

The Curse Review: There’s Plenty Room for Shady Stuff “Under the Big Tree”

By
Robert Kijowski
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It's like staring in the mirror. l photo: Showtime

The fourth episode of Showtime x A24’s The Curse titled “Under the Big Tree” cold-opens on a mystery involving Dougie (Benny Safdie), a clearing, a dropped call from HGTV bearing good news, and two abandoned vehicles, you’re turning up the thermostat in the desert. However, when you add the good brain in this producer’s head and the bad omen of a scorpion, two slips of paper with names and keys to the other two vehicles attached, and a potential ancient piece of pottery, we’re now cooking with gas.

Naturally, Asher (Nathan Fielder) and Whitney (Emma Stone) are beaming with the news that they were picked up for a 10-episode run and naturally, I’m not surprised that Whit takes offense to the network wanting to focus more on the people they are kicking out. At times, I’m not sure if I’m rooting more for her because her myopic nature is just as frustrating as Asher’s bullheadedness.

The whole conversation does seem intimate in how the scene is blocked. The interesting thing is that moments like these in the show give me momentary pause. Amid the jubilation, something brilliant takes place when Whitney displaces her unassuredness in the project and projects that negative energy onto her husband, asking (with trepidation due to his anger) Asher to take a comedy class to up his on-screen appeal because all he can think about is making money. Nobody likes to be called unfunny. To have strangers do that to you is one thing, but to have your life partner agree with them has got to sting, causing Asher to go immediately on the defensive.

He’s not someone that can ever be reached and when you hit a nerve, and he acts like a baby. That sounds like a public figure we all know, but even then, this is a situation played off with so much humanity on both Fielder and Stone’s parts. Against my better judgment, I’m rooting for Asher to take the high road, grinding his molars all the way, but the tense moment only begets a bigger problem when their neighbor Maria (Diana Navarette) informs them of an accusatory client. I adore that this is far from open and shut, with Asher imploring her not to fly off the handle like Buddy Rich because of this guy’s tech connections for the show. Every other tether in The Curse‘s world is frayed, every other nerve shot. Nothing is clean. Every situation that arises in this creation of Nathan and Benny comes at a price and with a lien to the ultimate bank which is the chaotic Universe.

I love that Asher can’t read the fucking room. He keeps digging into Whitney to not harass this accusatory neighbor, going as far as to weaponize her passion by framing the situation as an opportunity to showcase her new design. I believe it’s safe to call Asher a snake at this point. Hey, he fits right in with the ecosystem.

I also love that despite her attempts to connect with the community, Whitney is anything but welcomed. These people are tolerant of her because much like her around Asher; they’re on eggshells… save for Victor (Alexander Poncio) now a (proud?) owner of what I’ll hereby refer to as a “Siegel original”.

Because Vic throwing out the induction oven disqualifies the structure from being passive, Whitney’s passive aggression is just too ambrosial in her “just mind your use of language next time” speech, which is peak managerial (not boss) syntax. It’s something we are loathe to hear, so kudos to the show for incorporating that character richness into the script. I don’t believe Asher’s taken hold of her. I believe she’s forward-thinking, just going about shit ass-backward. Still, she’s now thinking about her version of the long game. I mean shit, we’re only just beginning to unearth her story with her backstory outside of her parents.

Dougie’s story picks up again in grand fashion when he shows up at the first address and it turns out to be a teenager who claims to his mother he bought beer for. Dougie owns up to it and still manages to leave with dignity. The thing is, I believe Dougie. He may be all about exploitation, but that’s the business and he’s at least upfront and honest about it, unlike the “stars of the show.” Ugh. The gag reflex was heavy on that one. It’s an exploitation daisy chain; bring three buckets for this mess.

Oh, we don’t stop there. Asher visits Abshir (Barkhad Abdi) with stuff from the pantry (because he’s too cheap to buy fresh), and we deliciously dive into the cringe when he imposes himself on this family in a most boorish way. Even when Nala (Hikmah Warsame) opens her heart possibly even a little bit to him, Asher’s presence is taken as a clear threat to Pops and Hani (Dahabo Ahmend), and Nathan Fielder does such a bang-up great job portraying someone so oblivious to the damage he can cause. The scene fills me with a lingering dread, like watching an overeager child immediately running to a felled bird’s nest in slow motion. Knighting himself “Uncle Asher” is probably one of the most cringeworthy moments in a series full of hard truths and exposure, so kudos, fellas.

Whitney not getting much warmer of a welcome in her own house (office) when she notices that assistant Luisa (Sidni) and head of security Fernando (Christopher D. Calderon) are becoming friends and is feeling so good right about now. She refuses to connect at all to anything natural of the land because she forces it. She sees race first, person second, and despite her protestations, I’m convinced Fernando’s side-arm will soon become Chekov’s.

I’m thinking that she’ll eventually use Fernando as actual muscle in some capacity, putting his life at risk in more than one way as he’s an ex-convict, and if it goes that way, I’d be happy. It’s not that I’m taking bets on these predictions, but a good show will get your mind going, and this has that in spades. This is especially true in the next scene, where my mind is making connections of Asher having crew hand Freckle (Edward Martinez) do the heavy lifting (just as Whitney had Luisa do such verbally with Fernando), this time with Vic’s former stove which is a parallel worthy of praise. The insouciance with which Asher handles his denting of Freckle’s F-350 door is hilarious but the sick, sad reality is that callous people like him exist in the world, their shameful actions barely given screen time, especially not in reality television, so this is still like a breath of fresh air. Except this environment ain’t friendly.

Asher’s cowardice results in a literal bust, so he wanting Dougie to take Vic out of the show’s narrative in favor of the Juniper Lane couple he wanted to capitalize on post-show airing isn’t surprising. It’s nice that they have him thinking long-term now and, I strangely find myself rooting for that play. Why am I suddenly feeling like I want this win for him?

It may have to do with Dougie, still riding high on their big win of being picked up, apologizing to Asher for bullying him when they were younger, including standing him up and pantsing him at swim meets. Asher meakishly brushing the shit off as japes is a clear sign of trauma and repression… but no time to linger on the past when their presence together is dictating the future of Flipanthropy. Dougie wants Vic. I want Vic.

What transpires next, however, had me very much second-guessing shit when Dougie shows Asher the footage of him being cursed. Each episode thus far has included at least one sharp shift in tone where the awkwardness melts away to reveal the terror of the unknown. The potential supernatural angle is effective but Dougie truly believing he was also cursed to the point it visibly upsets him honestly intrigues me a little more.

The episode winds down brilliantly with Whitney happening upon a white Sikh retreat, which gave me heavy Atlanta vibes in that it’s exploring an oasis, a place hidden in plain sight but unequivocally alien in your backyard. The thing that snaps me back to knowing it’s The Curse is, however, that I can easily imagine Whitney using this as a move to exploit, find peace, or both. Meanwhile, Asher flies in the face of improvement when he acts out at improv and not in the intended way. And ya think you know your neighbors…

4.5/5 Stars.

Addendum: I feel the piece of pottery from Doug’s dig has a personal connection to him. Lineage or wife, perhaps? Wicked curious to see going forward.

Miles Davis and The Search for The Sound is a Synesthetic Comic about an artistic Legend

By
Christian Angeles
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0

Amongst the luminaries who inspired a generation of musicians in the mid-20th century, Miles Davis was an exception. A lodestar talent in a universe all of his own. His influence and career in music was multi-generational, and his album, Kind of Blue, is still considered the greatest Jazz album of all time. When everyone was ditching jazz clubs for the rock concert, and artists wanted to become the next rockstar, it was Miles Davis who took the stage emphasizing the importance of reinventing yourself, moving from post-bebop to electric jazz, wailing on a trumpet-like electric guitar with the inclusion of wah pedals and all.

This was the kind of music jazz instructors taught in private schools. The kind of material meant to those seeking to understand the basic fundamentals of chord progressions, arpeggios, and the very fibers that made sound, musical.  

“But what was Miles’ s search for the Sound?” 

Better yet, how does one visualize the color of music? The task was meant for someone who knew Miles Davis’s story well. A virtuoso who equally knew both worlds of art and music just like Miles Davis himself. It’s why cartoonist and jazz scholar, Dave Chrisholm – known for his musician-inspired comic works such as Enter the Blue and Chasin’ the Bird atop his own stylized trumpet career – heeded that call. 

Created in collaboration with Z2, this graphic novel biography, Miles Davis and The Search for The Sound by Dave Chisholm, is a creative tour de force venture that looks into the life and times of Miles Davis. Having impressed Davis’s son Erin with his graphic novel work depicting the life of Charlie Parker in Chasin’ the Bird, with the Miles Davis estate’s permission, Chisholm was allowed to create this spiritual sequel. This time focused in on the life journey of Jazz legend, Miles Davis.

It begins with Davis recovering from a debilitating stroke in 1982, having found painting as a form of creative therapy. Chisholm skillfully navigating these moments of vulnerability in the life of Miles Davis’s by interspersing the artist’s own words as he draws about, with fond remembrance, his life’s journey with music. Notably, it underscores how Kind of Blue missed the mark for Miles Davis, a revelation savored against the backdrop of its tunes. The comic then became a bit of a page-turning look at a man’s artistic pursuit of perfection. Above all else, Miles Davis’ search for sound…

With kinetically paced, forward-moving art, you can see that this story is going places in terms of its pacing, becoming a visual symphony that mirrors Davis’s pugilistic drive in pursuit of that perfect sound. The pages thus feature abstract shapes splattered with vibrant colors and deft paneling work utilizing techniques of knowing how to stretch out an image or give emotional moments of verbosity to the page.

This dramatic use of large panels, layered with color, resonate with the harmonies of the very songs and albums under discussion, creating an intricate tapestry that reflects the essence of Davis’s music, in a visual metaphor for the evolution of Davis’s musical odyssey. Some of the best moments in the story embrace moments of stillness. Or at other times, the opposite, loaded with character work and dictations of how his artists around him should be playing in the days where Miles was often seen, rushing ahead.

Employing these narrative shifts to showcase his growth over time, the biography offers a tale accessible to all—a human experience of major successes intertwined with intimate failures. Navigating through his life with fellow musicians, including icons like Charlie Parker, John Coltrane, Gil Evans, Art Blakey, Jimi Hendrix, and even later in his life, Prince, the biography does not shy away from the tumultuous aspects of Davis’s personal life—failed marriages, substance abuse, and the intricate web of relationships.

This engaging biography delves into the fragments of Davis’s personal life—a tapestry woven between accomplishments in creating albums and performing with some of the greatest legends in jazz while being utterly atrocious with his often abusive treatment of the very women who took care of him in his life.

Seeing these moments interspersed with Miles’s on-and-off-again struggles with addiction, atop of his complex romantic entanglements, it becomes soon obvious that the selling point of the life and works of this man’s genius is met with his utter disdain for the fact that he had motherhood abandonment issues. His chase for the elusive sound and his relationship with it—capturing a lost innocence and mimicking other autobiographical portrayals often seen in fiction.

Journeying through Davis’s changing musical styles over the years, the narrative unveils Davis’s range of influences. From his early life performing with Bird to the Davis’s ongoing struggles with race, not only in his personal life, but which was also embedded in the entire cultural tapestry of jazz. Mind you, this story is told during racially charged 20th century America, a country on the cusp of the civil rights movement. Miles’s story then becomes a bit of a message of hope. His dream was to see Jazz as a genre young Black youths could flock toward (but didn’t).

It is here where Chisholm’s dynamic storytelling approach and adventurous designs groove together, creating a synesthetic canvas through visuals of Miles’s life. The results are pages that mirror the diversity and vibrancy of Davis’s musical legacy, providing readers with an intoxicating introduction to the life of a challenging genius whose quest for sound led him through a myriad of both styles and ensembles. 

The pages thus unfold like a finely-paced musical masterpiece (one which you can play albums of Miles Davis’s music along with), inviting readers to acquaint themselves with Miles Davis not just as an artist, but also as an incredibly flawed man whose struggles felt ineffably human. The narration used in the panels is a delicate dance of Miles’s own words, drawn from interviews, essays, and his own written biography about his life.

 

In this work, Miles Davis, the person, emerges out of this biography a complex individual entangled in a struggle for love, connection, and an unquenchable thirst for artistic perfection. For those unfamiliar with Davis’s journey, this narrative unfolds with surprising humanization and the inevitable ebb and flow of creative inspiration all seemed tied to this grandiose purpose…

In essence, Miles Davis and The Search for The Sound transcends the boundaries of a his own biography. It is a testament to the evolution of music, the death of an era, and the interplay of styles and shapes that could be provoked with sound. It invites readers not only to understand Davis but to immerse themselves in the fusion of person, experience, and the ever-changing tapestry of musical history. All in a symphony of words and images and an ode to a musical genius whose search for sound forever altered the landscape of music history.

Read this book if you love Miles Davis or would like to see a prime example of synesthesia in action. It’s a fantastic work of art and arguably, Dave Chrisholm’s best work. 

 

Review: Iron Maiden and Z2 Comics Team Up to Celebrate 40 Years of Piece of Mind

By
Robert Kijowski
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0

Forty years ago, the fourth studio album of Iron Maiden’s titled Piece of Mind was released. The album’s art is iconic with mascot Eddie lobotomized, bound by nothing more than a straightjacket and chains. The contents of the record therein are just as evocative. From the piercingly beautiful and warrior-like vocal styling of Bruce Dickinson, the melodic, jackhammer guitars of both Dave Murray and Adrian Smith along with the fucking thunderous rhythm section of bassist Steve Harris and (then newly joined and current drummer) Nicko McBrain, each song was festooned with literary references galore and a fire inside that could topple an empire.

Forty years later, Z2 Comics have joined forces with Iron Maiden to bring you a gorgeous, 75-page tome, covering different writers’ and artists’ unique and inspired takes on each of the 9 songs on this album. Here’s my album-like breakdown of the contents therein.

Review:

“Where Eagles Dare” is the first song on the album. Inspired by the 1968 film of the same name, it’s also the first story out of the gate. Penned by Steven Grant (Punisher) with art from Carson Thorn, the story is imbued with unwavering grit and tension. The artwork is kinetic and the beautiful use of blues, whites, and blacks by colorist DC Alonso gives the feeling of tranquility below while chaos reigns from above.

Next, we have “Revelations” penned by Tony Lee from a story from the band’s very own Bruce Dickinson. Artist Damian Worm (The October Faction) creates a world that is dark empowering and sensual. The song, inspired by famed occultist and all-around bad-ass Aleister Crowley, lends itself effortlessly to the story of inquisitiveness and enlightenment. Powerful stuff.

“Flight of Icarus” written by Ivan Brandon with art by Francesco Dossena is about a warrior’s son, Ceo. The message that lies therein is universal and strong, about carving your own path, and never mollifying others. We get a glimpse into what one can sacrifice for status and hubris. The art is soft almost having a sketch-like quality to it and the warm pastels from colorist Heather Moore give the entire world a very dream-like quality. The warm interaction between a son and his mother wonderfully contrasted by the cold, steely nature of his father is captured perfectly through the pages, culminating in the young one’s audacious moment of truth.

Screenwriter Sacha Gervasi (My Dinner with Hervé) and artist Christian Nosado helm “Die With Your Boots On.” The funny thing about this particular song is there isn’t too much information on the inspiration behind it. It was written during the time of the Cold War with an apocalyptic bent and self-fulfilling prophecy heavily present in the lyrics. From there, we’re given a glimpse into the relationship of a soldier and a woman with a lot more to her than meets the eye. What transpires feels very cinematic in both tender intimacy and bloody mayhem, ending on a pretty neat twist. The art reminds me of a 1980s comic book, which seems very fitting given the original intent of the song.

“The Trooper” scribed by Atomic Blonde creator Antony Johnston with art from Staz Johnson gives us a sweeping poem through five major battles in human civilization. The narrator extols the brutality of war because of what is being fought for. Much like militia on the battlefield, the words roar in the beginning, attack in the middle, and lie dormant in the end, harking back to the old adage “those who don’t learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” It’s certainly a unique version of storytelling and one of my favorites in this book.

Writers Leah Moore and John Reppion give us their trippy interpretation of “Still Life.” Originally inspired by a 1964 short story by British author Ramsey Campbell, we see a very popular mythos wildly overtaking a painter and his descent into madness when he finds a provincial Lakeside house in the English countryside. His narration is presented in scribbled notes, which I think is a brilliant mood, adding another layer to the storytelling. The art by John J. Pearson is insanely gorgeous, simultaneously dreamy, violent, and magnetic in a very painterly style. Fun fact: “Still Life” is a song with a hidden message if played backward, done as a goof on the laughable “Satanic Panic” of the time.

“Quest for Fire” takes us prehistoric, compliments of comedian/comic-writer/metalhead Brian Posehn, artist Michael Avon Oeming (Powers), and letterer Taki Soma. Set in Paleolithic Europe 80,000 years ago, both the song and the story are influenced by Jean-Jacques Annaud’s 1981 film of the same name. Brian puts his own humorous, bad-ass spin on the song, including a T. Rex chomping on a caveman, and immediately, as instructed, I’m casting all inaccuracies aside for the compelling story of how the gift of Prometheus was not something to be trifled with. The art was rough and jagged with stark blacks, warm browns, and radiant yellows that not only bolstered the smartly sparse script but also gave the story real heat.

Bruce Dickinson’s love of both famed post-war novelist Yukio Mishima and real-life rōnin Miyamoto Musashi, “Sun and Steel” puts us in the very able hands of iZombie co-creator Chris Roberson and artist Danijel Žeželj as we’ve now traveled to Edo Period Japan to follow a young swordsman. The narrative itself takes a circular approach, a play on the dying words of a samurai who is defeated before his very eyes by old age until our protagonist is old and comes across young blood. The art is intoxicatingly inky and DC Larson’s vibrant colors give the whole story a very arthouse cinema feeling. No notes!

“To Tame a Land” concludes the album as well as the book. Written and illustrated by Alison Sampson (The Department of Truth), this story is wildly unlike the rest in look and it being wholly wordless, based on a song originally titled “Dune” before Frank Herbert himself had denied lending use of his seminal work’s name to Iron Maiden (since he was not a fan of rock music, especially the heavier good shit). Herbert’s loss is both the band’s last laugh as well as Sampson’s when we travel through two different worlds, one seen, and one unseen. One crumbling and one rebuilding. The strategic use of one massive panel hovering over six smaller ones is brilliant, as it introduces a new way of enjoying a comic, allowing our neural network to create new paths and evolve. Isn’t that what sci-fi is all about? All I will about the ending is it’s something both Ursala K. Le Guin and Arthur C. Clarke would have a good chuckle over. It’s definitely my favorite story and a bombastic bookend to these nine vignettes.

Additionally, we get a very heartfelt and powerful letter straight from the Iron Maidan Fan Club, compliments of Anthrax’s own Scott Ian. We get nine piercingly beautiful Chapter Plates, compliments of Montos, Nat Jones, Carin Hazmat, Steve Chanks, Travis Knight, Rantz A. Hoseley, Jan Meininghaus, Jay Seldhof, and Kyle Hotz with Dan Brown. We get a boatload of Eddie art as well as fan testimonials prefacing every story. The writer/artist/colorist profiles are a robust two pages and a letter written by the band’s manager Rod Smallwood greets us with a richly detailed account of what it was like making the highly collaborative album.

This anthology is a must for any fan of Iron Maiden, available in four different Collector editions at Z2 Comics.

5/5 Stars.

The Curse Review: These New Kids Are Not Welcomed on the Block in “Questa Lane”

By
Robert Kijowski
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Should've sprang for Domino's, Asher.

The tertiary episode of The Curse (Showtime/A24) titled “Questa Lane” comes in hot with Asher (Nathan Fielder) at an auction to bid for a lot, Questa Lane. For a piece of land that doesn’t even have water rights, outbids a few at $62,500 for the win. It’s very telling and chilling that the only people in the room are old and white. Whitney (Emma Stone) adds to the discomfort when she reveals that her hubby went over their limit by over 20 stacks. I think it’s a perfect setup because nothing seems like it’s done without purpose, so this just feels like a figurative rattlesnake lurking, waiting to strike. It also gave me pause. Is Asher a former gambling addict? Is that why he knows what drives one and how to capitalize on it? It feels slimy, but it’s making sense to me.

The couple watching the result of a focus group at the request of Dougie (Benny Safdie) immediately becomes uncomfortable. The scene preys on all of our insecurities when actual criticism comes into the picture. Nobody likes Asher. They find him dryer than the plot of land he just purchased and not easy on the eyes. More of the group skirt the likability of Whitney to dunk on Asher and the couple’s mission statement. Even with them praising Whitney (save for one member on the inefficiency of her houses), this had me squirming and the married couple trying to justify themselves to… themselves just makes it harder to watch.

We actually find Nala (Hikmah Warsame), the black girl that Asher denied the hundred dollars, in school, upset due to a class pet dying. The ostracization is succinctly felt and her bad day gets worse when later, Asher shows up, frightening both her and her sister Hani (Dahabo Ahmed). Gee, Ash, you don’t think knocking on their door like the fucking cops and drilling out their deadbolt wasn’t enough of a hint to beat it? Nope. The dude’s only objective is to cleanse himself karmically with a simple, uninspired act. Goddamn rat (with all due apologies to the rodent community).

The inevitable police being involved ends up as predictable as I’d thought it would be, but this isn’t a bad thing. He’s white, the cop is white, and even with the officer’s audible disdain when Asher proves his innocence by identifying himself as one-half of the ‘mirror house’ couple, Asher’s still a white landowner. The family is considered squatting in the eyes of the law, but instead of kicking them out, Asher sees this as an inspired moment, only to take a patented steaming shit on it when bragging about it to his wife.

Though initially impressed with her Focus Group Sweetheart, good on Whitney for calling into question his previous story (ahem, lie) and for being more uneasy when he then doubles down on the tall tale. This is why you don’t fabricate to increase your self-worth and I adore that Whitney isn’t . Like Howard in Uncut Gems, his greatest strength and ultimate Achilles’ heel is his tunnel vision, fueled by deception. No wonder Whitney doesn’t let him inside of her.

His impudence is only compounded when he harangues the gynecologist about time frames for intercourse… not minutes after his own wife had the physical embodiment of hope inside of her. It’s wonderful symbolism. Asher’s becoming more and more the living embodiment of that ‘dead weight.’ Nathan Fielder plays a mayfly so fucking well when it comes to not giving a fuck about anybody but himself, I can easily say with aplomb, “fuck this guy.” The scene balances the scales nicely when she ignores Asher for the doctor’s story about his vacation, complete with a few laughs (which Asher wasn’t able to provide the focus group with).

Asher’s assholery doesn’t stop there, oh no. He blows off Dougie’s extended hand for friendship. Bearing witness to the rejection on Dougie’s end is just painful. To see somebody sob is never a comforting experience (unless you’re that person) and greasy as Dougie may be, he’s still a human being. The beat itself has a very voyeuristic tone to it, as, like with the focus group footage and Whitney’s doctor visit, we’re at times still viewing this through window panes or surreptitiously from above. Dougie’s breaking down doesn’t feel like something we should be in the presence of and I love it.

Things thankfully don’t let up when Whitney gets a hard dose of reality (TV) when Whitney sees that their paid sponsor Barrier Coffee only stayed open for the production, prompting her to fumble through an apology to Fernando for selling him a paper-thin dream. It beautifully mirrors what all these ‘feel good’ home makeover shows try very hard to keep behind the curtains. Sure, Fernando came from the prison system, but the wonderful land of Oz this ain’t.

They continue on to the home of Nala, Hani, and their father, Abshir (Barkhad Abdi). The way the couple is written is fabulous, Whitney especially. It does, however, take the deft nuance of Emma Stone to spin those words in the script into a stellar performance. Her character Whitney is so desperate for validation from those she’s trying to help that her nauseating assumptions of people who aren’t white actually come off at face value as harmless, though the implications are toxic. I’m still convinced that her curse may be white guilt and to harness the dichotomy of harming through helping is a goddamn skill that Emma holds in spades.

Asher, on the other hand, is a different kind of jackhammer in the family’s household. He calls to attention how much he’s doing for the family but keeps to a whisper only to his wife what he’s not willing to spend on the impoverished trio. Unfortunately for the family, Whitney’s not backing up her words in ink, heaven forbid either of them is actually all in on charity and kindness. That’s good though. As the audience, we want some change, but not all of it or else it’s a damn snooze-fest. Kudos to Nathan and Benny for keeping this so far very entertaining.

We also find out what Nala’s curse was. Inspired by a TikTok trend, the “tiny-curse” angle (which is just an inconsequential jinx) now gives the series an air of mystery and horror. Sure, it was just something to affect Asher’s dinner that night, but his hearing it was enough to instill the fear of god in him. The funny thing is that he’s still skeptical. He doesn’t want to believe that an unseen force higher than him can dispense justice. As much as I want you to be better, never change, Asher. For the benefit of this series, never change.

The episode doesn’t let up, even when the day winds down and it’s night in their lovely abode. Whitney and Asher end up in an explosive fight that all started with a stupid sweater Whitney’s having trouble getting off, though it’s not about to sweater to me but rather what it means to both of them. It’s a great visual metaphor for their relationship with him pulling and her resisting.

Once off, a tender and genuine moment of victory is shared between the two only to be cheapened by Whitney when she wants to replicate it for internet clout. At first, I was feeling a bit sick with the show slapping me back to reality in that whatever true companionship they have for one another has one foot out the door and they’d soon chop that leg off and stay miserable than do something about it.

They ostensibly aren’t on the same page for the staged video or even this ‘tiny curse’, ultimately resulting in scurrilous accusations towards Ash of bigotry, which sends the scene to the heights of cringe when it’s an all-out screaming match. The past is dug up (ew) and the airspace grows intoxicatingly noxious when his cries for validation from his “nasty” (sound familiar) are only met with years of bottled anger spilling out of her mouth, all of which are being recorded.

We end the episode with Fernando (Christopher D. Calderon) setting up a watch right in front of the closed Barrier Coffee shop with nothing but a chair and a rifle. The frame of his face, a face of hope and determination is very striking. My guy did say the freaks come out at night. I hope in the next episode we get to see yet another world of seediness when Española is bathed in moonlight.

If a 10-episode season is treated like a three-act structure, that would mean this would roughly be the start of the second act, which is where the meat is. We’ve seen the bubble, bubble. The cauldron’s been properly stirred in this episode. Hopefully, for the next five episodes, we’ll see some delicious toil and trouble.

4.5/5 Stars.

“Monarch” finally gets the human element right in the Godzilla franchise

By
Victor Catano
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I love Godzilla. I love kaiju in general. Yes, I am That Guy, the one who will stop you when you say Godzilla breathes fire and say “Well ACTUALLY, it’s radiation. You see, Godzilla is a creature of the atom, born out of Japan’s post war anxieties about…” (I’d probably shout the rest at you as you backed away from me.)

I’ve always been a fan of the big monsters stomping though cities and whaling on each other. I watched Godzilla vs. Kong about six times when it debuted on HBO during the pandemic.

Well, I watched about half of it six times. The parts where Kong is trying to chop Godzilla in half with an axe and then throwing a revolving restaurant at him like a frisbee, or where the two alpha monsters team up to destroy Mecha-Godzilla. Those are awesome! I mostly zip through the parts where the human characters talk about things like “hollow earth” or a mute girl teaches Kong sign language, or where a corporation secretly builds a tunnel from Pensacola, FL to Hong Kong. (We can’t get three miles of subway track built in NYC without a decade of environmental impact studies, but you built a 5000 mile undersea tunnel without anyone noticing? Cool cool cool.)

Which is to say, the human characters in these movies are largely afterthoughts. They are sometimes there to help the plot along, but otherwise the main job of a human in a kaiju film is to run away screaming while Godzilla tramples everything in his path.

So, when Apple announced they were creating a spin-off series based on the recent Godzilla movies of the past decade called Monarch: Legacy of Monsters, I was expecting some nifty monster scenes but not a lot else. So it is with no little surprise that I report that the humans characters are pretty compelling, and the show is worth watching just for them.

The show follows Cate (Anna Sawai), who is traveling to Japan to settle the affairs of her late father, Hiroshi. Cate is a survivor of the Godzilla attack in San Francisco (as seen in 2014’s Godzilla), and she is suffering from severe PTSD. She was on a school bus that was teetering on the Golden Gate Bridge as Godzilla crashed through. She escaped and tried to get the kids off the bus, but a lot didn’t make it. Her dreams are haunted by the screams of children and giant lizards. The last time she saw her largely absent father was at a refugee camp after the attack. Once he saw she was safe, he told her he had to go do something and left. His plane crashed somewhere over Alaska.

When she gets to Tokyo, she is shocked to discover that the apartment she expected to be empty is occupied by her dad’s secret family. He has another wife and Cate has a half-brother, Kentaro (Ren Watabe). They quickly discover that Hiroshi had ANOTHER secret apartment (geez, slow down, guy!) where they learn he was a part of something called Monarch.

In the movies, Monarch is the organization that tracks and studies the giant kaiju that are roaming the planet. If you’re concerned about continuity (and honestly, you shouldn’t worry all that much about it), this show takes place in 2015, one year after the events in the first Godzilla movie. It also jumps back to the early years of Monarch, where a pair of romantically involved scientists – Dr. Keiko Miura (Mari Yamamoto) and Bill Randa (Anders Holm) – and their military escort Lt. Lee Shaw (Wyatt Russell) track down the titans, or MUTOs as they call them. (Massive Unidentified Terrestrial Organisms.) I guess “AAAHHH MONSTERS!” wasn’t scientific enough.

Cate and Kentaro find that dear old Dad had a stash of hidden data tapes that they take to Kentaro’s hacker friend (and ex) May (Kiersey Clemons). When she decrypts them, Cate is shocked to see a picture of her grandmother, Keiko (the same Keiko we see in the past sections), standing in a giant Godzilla footprint.

This also triggers an alarm in Monarch headquarters, which causes a pair of agents to chase them across Japan. Which causes Cate, Kentaro, and May to seek help from Lee Shaw, who is still alive and living in a retirement community in Japan. Old Lee is played by Kurt Russell, and it’s a nice touch having father and son play the same character at different ages. Lee is disgusted with what Monarch has become, more concerned with covering up the existence of MUTOs rather than studying them and warning people about them. He joins them, and soon they’re on a quest to find what Hiroshi was looking for.

The show is really good in creating a world that feels lived in and that is dealing with the sudden realization that giant monsters might come stomping through their city. Tokyo has Godzilla Evacuation Route signs everywhere, with batteries of missiles trained on the ocean. During a Godzilla alert, Cate has a panic attack while sheltering in a subway tunnel. There are even conspiracy theorists, who speculate that is was all CGI by the Deep State. (Check out the cabbie’s podcast to learn more!)

The relationships here all feel fleshed out and real. Cate and Kentaro aren’t exactly thrilled to discover each other’s existence, since each one is proof of Hiroshi’s bad behaviors. But as they are forced together, they start to accept each other and bond over their dad’s habits. Wyatt Russell does a great job with young Lee Shaw, as someone who grows to like the scientists he was ordered to protect. The intergenerational connections are being revealed thread by thread, and I suspect that the subtitle – Legacy of Monsters – is going to have layers of meaning.

Oh, and the monsters? They’re used sparingly, but effectively. There’s about one big monster scene an episode and they’re all used to great effect. In the premiere, we see Godzilla destroying the Golden Gate Bridge as seen from Cate’s perspective and it truly feels like an ant trying to figure out what is stepping on it. Other episodes show how small and futile humanity is in the face of these beasts. It’s very frightening and one of the few times in the Godzilla movies that the sheer sense of scale really comes through.

This is a worthy addition to the Godzilla canon. The mysteries here are intriguing and the MUTOs are scary. And for once, I actually care about what happens to the humans.

Monarch: Legacy of Monsters has new episodes each Friday on Apple+. Three episodes out of ten have been released so far.

Rating: 4.5/5

‘Where The Body Was’ Review: Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips create a Short Little Masterpiece 

By
Christian Angeles
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Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips, the incomparable creative team behind works such as Criminal, Kill or Be Killed, and Night Fever, have once again graced the world with another crime fiction story in, Where The Body Was. This remarkable new work by Brubaker is a captivating noir-lite mystery story, set in a seemingly tranquil suburban backdrop, but rife with unexpected twists and turns. The kind of writing and pivot points that will keep readers on the edge of their seats.

Kicking off with a narrative that centers around the discovery of a lifeless body, what unfolds ignites a labyrinthine web of questions regarding how it ended up there and, perhaps even more crucially, who it belongs to. This thread becomes the driving force behind the story intertwining with a colorful array of characters living in 1984 suburbia, each with their own distinctive personalities.

Where The Body Was unfolds with a charming map of the local neighborhood and a small page-length profile page as an introduction to the cast. A tool that effectively immerses readers into the community. Once the story kicks off, the reader then jumps from character to character in a series of narratives serving as slice-of-life characterization, all while utilizing skillful use of monologues that breathe life into these people with very well-defined voices. Overall, these early pages plus friendly colors set the stage for their subsequent interactions and conflicts, as suburbia turns into delinquent chaos propelled by interpersonal expectations and desires. 

The result becomes a delightful portrayal of a high-stakes murder story with a unique twist in how it isn’t really at all about the mystery. It’s distinct from Brubaker’s previous work in that while expectations start with what you think will be a cop drama, then almost entirely deviates from what you think will be the mystery. The people you think you know from those opening intros serve as tropes very typical of these genre stories, yet all of them prove to be vastly different from the caricatures you think they’re meant to be.

It’s thus in its genius storytelling and illustration, that rather than focusing solely on solving a mystery, the narrative delves deep into the lives and histories of the street’s inhabitants, the local neighborhood, and truly, an intricate tapestry of human experiences. It’s not the mystery, it’s the characters. People with backstories reflected in substance abuse, marital neglect, superheroic aspirations, and even attempted murder—all interwoven into the rich tapestry of this engrossing tale utilizing both bending expectations and foreshadowing. By using a bit of a flashforward which bends what you think is happening in a way that’s very reminiscent of early pulp comics. Where crazier, kooky ideas and misdemeanors elevate into substantially dangerous, but oftentimes also hilarious, climaxes for everyone’s thread.

Where The Body Was comes highly recommended for those seeking a compelling and unique reading experience. The stark contrast between the seemingly idyllic suburban setting and the dark secrets that lurk within intensifies the narrative’s impact. 

 

With a runcount of 144 pages, this comic arrives in comic book shops on January 16, 2024.

The Curse Review: What’s Meaning Without Understanding in “Pressure’s Looking Good So Far”

By
Robert Kijowski
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"Is It ON You?" l photo credit: Richard Foreman Jr./A24/Paramount+ with Showtime

The episode of The Curse (Showtime) “Pressure’s Looking Good So Far” opens up with a close-up of a pregnancy test being filled as the icy synths fill me with a sort of wonderment as the two lines appear. What I’m digging so far is we’re all in the dark on this titular affliction. I could see each episode posing new threats that might be the singular sentence.

Asher (Nathan Fielder) meets up with Monica (Tessa Mentus) and I couldn’t be more thrilled that we’re not giving Asher an easy out. Without video proof of the Gaming Control Board not protecting gambling addicts, the story cannot run and with it already being two weeks, it’s now or never for him, which means going into the belly of the beast. Did you know casinos have no windows on purpose and it’s legal?

At Whistling River Casino, we once again see the true colors of Asher in radiant ‘circadian light’ when former co-worker Bill (David DaLao) shows my guy the fruits of his labor for the House in a few new forms of subconscious devices to get people to gamble more. Asher is the unconscionable one and though the exotic neon glow of money being lost by the second lights him beautifully, all I see is a big shit stain on the screen.

Though not a gambler myself, I fucking love the allure of a casino. It’s a breeding ground for sin and a playground for the id, bathed in neon, gold, and marble. Time has no fucking place in a casino, which is why it’s so fucking sexy. Asher’s mind seems to still be here. I feel it’s a smart move on Fielder and Safdie to make this a microcosm in their world. The casino is its own habitat, so even if we don’t visit it much, a few more times outside of this episode would be entirely welcomed by me.

Because his boss Wandall’s not in, Asher has no choice but to return at a later time. Meanwhile, Whitney (Emma Stone) meets up with the Governor of the San Pedro Pueblo, James Toledo (Gary Farmer). He’s very proud of the patches of Pueblo land still available. I feel that Whitney really wants to feel the plight of the Pueblo, but she’s just fucking struggling as if it’s a silent spiritual war of her own. Oh, it’s all in Emma’s acting.

Whitney invites the Tewa gentleman to her Tiwa friend’s art gallery opening. The mistake seems earnest enough and she is trying. Yes, this is for major cultural clout and her way of handling these matters toes the line of appropriation. Rest assured, she’s also knocked down a few pegs when her artist friend Cara Durand (Nizhonniya Austin) can see through the bullshit. Whitney is no artist. She is stealing a look from a famed artist.

The beautiful juxtaposition is later on at Cara’s opening, “dinner for ten”, which includes MLB bobbleheads. Yes, she didn’t make them. Yes, they are in fact stolen. Yes, this was to prove a larger point about Major League Baseball, re-contextualizing. Yes, there’s a toy tee-pee where Cara sits, carves turkey with a deli slicer, and screams whether you eat it or not. I’m sure it all means something to her, no matter how silly or pretentious is may mean to some. What do the houses mean to Whitney? Not a goddamn thing.

The outsides are not inspired and birds keep fucking flying into them. The insides have art that isn’t theirs but rather Cara’s to sell the look and investment. Everything about the structures seems more wasteful than the purpose they’re supposed to serve. A fucking change needs to happen… one that does not include appropriating her ‘friend’ nor the governor of the San Pedro Pueblo for clout.

Not all hope is lost, however, when Whitney reveals to Asher about her being pregnant.

Dougie (Benny Safdie) himself has an interesting C Plot. He’s out on a date with one of the crew, Laura (Adrianne Chalepah). He’s a smoothie, even when revealing some grisly details about his wife’s death with him at the wheel with a BAC slightly over the limit. Benny keeps me riveted to Dougie. He seems genuine, but his tactics aren’t the most becoming of him, so when he offers to drive Laura home, the pit in my stomach is very present. That is why I was pleasantly shocked when he blew a red while driving, immediately prompting him to pull over and walk… to the casino. Where else is he going to go but back in Asher’s designed ‘trap’?

Though finally getting his meeting with former boss Wandall (Marcus LaVoi), his attempts at getting some work there fall flat, causing the awkwardness to kick into high gear when he basically has to weaponize his wife’s pregnancy as a means to getting to his old computer to show him a stupid viral clip before making a literal mess of the situation for distraction. Though not a visceral motor wreck, the scene gives you a few seconds heads up before what happens happens. They want you to visualize what will happen and not want it to happen before it does. I think that’s a really sweet move.

Another sweet move is when Whitney has her house checked for leaks. As smoke fills the house, we’re informed the “pressure’s looking good so far.” The visualization of the cloudiness in their own home leads to an even stormier ending.

Whitney does catch up to Cara to congratulate her but she cannot seem to reach her… or anybody in that building. The acting is great in saying nothing but putting it all out there. she’s not welcomed and the uneasiness in her face says it all. At the gynos, where they’re getting the results for their baby. They’re in high spirits, but something’s amiss and it’s very quickly revealed that Whitney’s had a previous abortion. Asher is floored. The acting is also great for saying nil in the moment, letting his face do all the talking.

However, they fucking sing as a duet when it’s revealed that what Whitney has is an ectopic pregnancy, and the sooner they act on it, the better. It’s something I feel I shouldn’t be watching, especially through the camera lens so invasive, yet intimate. It’s being shot from the outside, and though it feels invasive, the regular glass naturally reflects the beautiful nature as we zero in on the cursed black spot on her sonogram.

Could this be the curse? Whitney’s suddenly inspired to do a mosaic house, Pueblo style. Is this her gift? Inspiration. I could see this as a series where everything shitty that happens for Ash happens great for Whit. Six weeks. They’ve given us a time window for the season, which I love in series these days.

Directed by brothers David and Nathan Zellner with a script from Carrie Kemper, Fielder, and Safdie, the uneasiness doesn’t relent and shows that you can raise the stakes by removing from the equation. As for the chemistry between Nathan and Emma, I’m not hating it. They’re not a perfect couple, much less paragons of society. They have money, the one thing that makes people feel invincible. What they lack is soul. I believe both are fighting for whatever remnant of that hope is in them, together but alone, and in order for them to maybe (or never) get their balance restored, be hectored by the universe a bit. I’m still here for it, especially with Whitney’s new loss a maybe an auroral beginning.

4/5 Stars.

Ultimate Spider-Man #1 Features New Marriage Cover by Scott Campbell

By
Christian Angeles
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0

The highly anticipated Ultimate Spider-Man #1 by Jonathan Hickman and Marco Checchetto just received a new cover by longstanding Spider-Man artist J. Scott Campbell. In stores on January 10th, the cover features a hand-in-hand Mary Jane and Peter forming a little heart as they dance over each other’s legs and hosts a Spider-Man heart-shaped logo in the backdrop. It’s an adorable little feature celebrating the new take on their story for the ultimates line, as a middle-aged Peter Parker and Mary Jane operate his life as a crimefighter while still having to raise their kids.

“When we decided that we were going to do a book about an older Peter Parker becoming Spider-Man, we really wanted to lean into him starting his super hero life from a very different place than what’s traditionally expected,” Hickman explained in a statement by Marvel. “Peter and MJ being married is one of many decisions we made that underline this being quite a ‘different’ kind of Spider-Man story.”

You can check it out in the official press release below.

New York, NY— November 20, 2023 — Honoring the vision of the original Ultimate Universe, Marvel’s new Ultimate Universe spinning out of Jonathan Hickman and Bryan Hitch’s recent Ultimate Invasion series will captivate new and longtime readers with bold storytelling choices and extraordinary fresh takes on iconic characters! Hickman and Marco Checchetto lead the way into this new era with their radical transformation of Peter Parker’s super hero journey in ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #1. Hitting stands on January 10, ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #1 will spin a new web for Peter, presenting him as an older, wiser super hero who balances his great power and responsibility with being a loyal husband to Mary Jane and a loving father to their two kids. It’s a new Spidey for a new generation and the introduction of the Parker family promises to make it the most surprising Spidey story of the 21st century!

To celebrate this new chapter of the Spider-Man mythos, legendary Spider-Man artist J. Scott Campbell has turned out a gorgeous variant cover for issue one! Also available as a virgin variant cover, the best-selling artist’s latest piece captures Peter and MJ’s romance in his iconic style!

“When we decided that we were going to do a book about an older Peter Parker becoming Spider-Man, we really wanted to lean into him starting his super hero life from a very different place than what’s traditionally expected,” Hickman explained. “Peter and MJ being married is one of many decisions we made that underline this being quite a ‘different’ kind of Spider-Man story.”

Check Campbell’s cover now and stay tuned later this week for more ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN news, including the premiere of the new ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN trailer!

mary jane and peter in ultimate spider-man #1 cover by Scott Campbell

ULTIMATE SPIDER-MAN #1 – 75960620796100111

Written by JONATHAN HICKMAN
Art and Cover by MARCO CHECCHETTO

Variant Cover by J. SCOTT CAMPBELL – 75960620796100181
Virgin Variant Cover by J. SCOTT CAMPBELL – 75960620796100139

On Sale 1/10

‘Quantum Leap’ Takes Ben on an ‘Da Vinci Code’-style Adventure

By
Mary Fan
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Image: NBC

The original Quantum Leap had Sam Beckett romancing a bevy of interchangeable beauties while totally ignoring what consent means when you’re in someone else’s body, and your partner thinks you are that someone else. And they got away with it because it was the late ’80s / early ’90s and Scott Bakula was considered Grade A man candy, so whatever, bring on the (seriously icky, from my 2023 POV) kissing.

Season 1 of the new show skirted the issue of dating while leaping by giving Ben a loyal love interest back home — no flirting with strangers from the past when you’re engaged to your hologram — and avoiding having any guest stars romantically interested in him (or making clear that the person was interested in his host while he basically said “ask me later”).

Season 2, however, started by blowing up Ben’s love life with a 3-year time jump that allowed the writers to hit the “reset” button on a few things… including Ben’s relationship status. With Addison out of the picture — literally, now that he has banished her from the imaging chamber — the door opens for some time-travel romance.

And boy, does he move on fast. Did you really think the fetching genius waitress from two episodes ago would be left in the leap after that long, softly lit conversation? Of course not… she’s back in Episode 206, “Secret History,” which takes place 6 years after her first encounter with Ben. Apparently, Hannah took Ben’s advice and went to Princeton, where she’s studying wildly complicated sci-fi physics.

Image: NBC

The ostensible reason for Ben’s leap this time, to 1955 Princeton, is to uncover a secret formula that Einstein left behind. This formula, if discovered, could change the world. The episode kicks off with a murdered professor who uses his dying breath to whisper a code word to Ben, whose host is also a professor. So now Ben must search for and decode clues in what is essentially a Da Vinci Code-style treasure hunt, while, naturally, being chased by baddies who want the formula for their own nefarious reasons.

But the plot isn’t what matters in this episode. Rather, it’s Ben’s star-crossed romances that take the spotlight. First with his re-encounter with Hannah, which immediately leads to more soft lighting and goo-goo-eyed close-ups that scream to the audience “Love interest alert!” (Ben has a thing for blondes, doesn’t he?). She, of course, becomes his partner while seeking Einstein’s formula, and there’s an immediate connection between the two… which is a bit weird since Ben is now inhabiting a different body from the one he first met her in. But she seems to recognize him nonetheless…

Meanwhile, with Addison barred from the imaging chamber and Magic out of the office, Jenn initially takes on hologram duties before being pulled away by Ian, who needs her help dealing with security issues (and vague threats from a mysterious entity). That just leaves Tom, Addison’s new boyfriend, who also went to Princeton and might have some insight into the location. Awkwaaaaard…

The writers must know that in 2023, you can’t ignore the consent issues that make the original Quantum Leap romances seem pretty icky, because they have Ben confess his true identity to Hannah midway through the episode. And Hannah acknowledges that she sensed that he was the same person she’d encountered six years ago, just in a different body (don’t ask how, that’s not romantic). Okay, cool, she knows just who she’s flirting with.

BUT THEN. The episode ends with a rather sudden kiss just as Ben leaps… which means Hannah’s about to find herself lip-locked with a professor whose real personality she’s never encountered, and that professor is about to come out of a blackout with his mouth on a woman he’s never met. YIKES. C’mon, writers, y’all can do better!

The whole thing also comes rather fast… Unlike the audience, Ben doesn’t get a break between leaps. And it was only in the episode before last that he booted Addison from the imaging chamber to give himself space to heal from the heartbreak of losing her. Last episode took place over the span of a few intense hours during the 1992 LA Riots… not exactly conducive to healing. So from Ben’s point of view, barely a day or so has passed since he said “I need some space” to a tearful Addison. And given how tight the episodes are and, again, the lack of any time between them from Ben’s point of view, it’s probably barely been a week since he discovered Addison had moved on. The whole thing feels rushed, especially for a show that’s generally been great at depicting its characters’ emotions, that spent an entire season exploring the now-discarded Ben-Addison relationship.

Image: NBC

I wouldn’t have objected to a Ben-Hannah romance if they’d had maybe one or two more leaps together, and it does open up some interesting storytelling possibilities (I’m imagining him appearing at various points in her life, out of order chronologically from her POV). I just wish the writers had given Ben more space from Addison first, while also allowing Hannah to develop a bit more; at the moment, she’s a bit bland… sure, she defies midcentury gender norms by being a scientist, but the “girl genius who is otherwise conventionally feminine and still, above all things, hot” route has been taken so many times in entertainment that by now, it’s boring.

All in all, “Secret History,” was a generally solid episode with some fun treasure-hunt moments and interesting hints as to what Ian might have gotten everyone into back at HQ. We get some cool scenes where Ben and Hannah are figuring out what the clues Einstein left behind meant, and some tense encounters with baddies. Plot-wise, the episode does pretty well, and Ben and Hannah’s chemistry works in general, even if it is a bit boring (Addison left some big shoes to fill…).

I just hope they address the whole bodily consent thing next time Hannah appears, which I have a feeling won’t be far off…

3.5/5 stars

Happy Life Day to All Who Celebrate!

By
Victor Catano
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Happy Life Day, everyone!

On this day in 1978, millions of children gathered around their family televisions to watch the Star Wars Holiday Special. I was one of them. The previous year, I had seen Star Wars (and it was just called Star Wars. This was the original release, long before “A New Hope” was added as a subtitle). I was four and a half when it came out, and I was an instant convert. I’d seen the movie about 10 times in theaters, I had all the action figures, I had a vinyl record that was basically an audio recording of the movie that I was wearing out the grooves on. Star Wars was everything to me.

And now, there was finally more!

Empire Strikes Back wouldn’t come out for another 18 months, so any shred of Star Wars content was welcome. So I was very excited about this!

For reasons, that will soon become clear, I do not have memories of my six-year-old self  watching this, so I’ll let my mom take over here and describe my reaction:

“You were so excited. But once it came on you wouldn’t stop crying.”

Yes, the Star Wars Holiday Special is where so many children learned about disappointment for the first time. Don’t come at me with your scorching takes about how The Last Jedi ruined your childhood. You obviously didn’t spend an evening in November 1978 crying over your grape juice and Jiffy Pop because you just watched an old Wookiee named Itchy get aroused by an intergalactic Diahann Carroll. I have blocked my initial viewing of this show from my memory.

The Holiday Special is legendary in its awfulness. The “plot” ostensibly centers around Han and Chewie trying to get back to Kashyyyk in time for Life Day, the Star Wars version of Thanksgiving, but really it’s all about cramming in some truly awful comedy bits and songs. All of the characters you know and love from the movie — Luke, Leia, Han, Chewie, R2, Threepio — were contractually obligated to make an appearance, but you can tell they aren’t real happy about it. Harrison Ford can barely be bothered to grumble his lines, and Carrie Fisher had the good sense to get stoned out of her gourd before singing her stirring Life Day ballad.

And speaking of stirring, how could anyone forget Harvey Korman’s legendary cooking video where he dresses up in drag and has four arms and shows Nala — Chewbacca’s wife — how to make Bantha Surprise?

Or Bea Arthur singing in a cantina? Or Art Carney as a human fixer, trying to aid the Wookiees? Or the fact that about half of this show is just Chewie’s family — wife Nala, Dad Itchy, and son Lumpy — hanging around their tree house and grunting, with no subtitles?

It’s comically bad. It owes more to the campy variety specials of the 1970s than it does to Star Wars. It’s the kind of thing you’d expect from the Brady Bunch Variety Hour or Donny & Marie, not the highest grossing film in history. George Lucas loathed it, and his name appears nowhere in the credits. According to legend, he said that if he had time and a hammer, he’d destroy every copy.

The Holiday Special has never been officially released on home video or for streaming. (The animated segment that introduces Boba Fett — The Legend of the Faithful Wookiee — has popped up on Disney+, under the heading “Star Wars Vintage.”) It’s amazing that the special even survived at all. George Lucas bought up all the rights to it, allegedly so it could never be rebroadcast. I would assume that there were a few families that had early VCRs that managed to record it, and then did not destroy those tapes or use them to record episodes of Dallas. But, ever since YouTube became popular, those grainy recordings have found a digital home, allowing for new generations to be traumatized each year.

And maybe because of those campy YouTube clips, the concept of Life Day has become actually popular! It’s actually a canon holiday in the Star Wars universe. It’s mentioned in the first episode of The Mandalorian! (Just as Din is about carbon freeze him, Bobby Moynihan’s character complains that he wanted to get home for Life Day.)  Disney made a Lego Star Wars Holiday Special, which featured Nala, Lumpy, and Itchy coming to visit Chewiee on the Millenium Falcon. So, his family is canon. Along with Diahann Carroll as a space temptress, I suppose…

Disney has even leaned into marketing it. You can buy actual Life Day merch! There’s a Chewbacca plush with him wearing his red Life Day robes! They had a whole Life Day event at Disney World last year, where you could get photos with a glowing Life Day orb! You can even get your own official robes!

I have to admit that I find this very bizarre. I understand that if there is a buck to made off of something, Disney is going to make it. But the Star Wars Holiday Special was literally traumatic to me as a child. I know that everything under the sun gets reclaimed at some point, but the Holiday Special? For real?

Granted, there is some tongue-in-cheek attitude from Disney and Star Wars about this. There is an acknowledgement that the special was dreadful, but hey, let’s have some fun with it. Sure, but someone is buying those $60 Life Day hoodies.

In case you think I’m exaggerating how bad this is or making a mountain out of the molehills of youth, I am going to include a link to the special below. Watch it for yourself! But I would recommend you follow Carrie’s example and have a few edibles before doing so.

And remember: when making the Bantha Surprise, it’s whip then stir.

In Showtime’s The Curse, the “Land of Enchantment” is an Oasis By Design

By
Robert Kijowski
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0
We are TV ready and hell-bound.

From the very jump of the Showtime x A24 collab The Curse, we go a bit claustrophobic, looking into the window of Fernando (Christopher D. Calderon), an ex-gangbanger and his cancer-stricken mother. Asher (Nathan Fielder) and Whitney (Emma Stone) Siegel are a couple filming the pilot of their HGTV series. Even with their joyous reveal of ‘giving’ Fernando a job at the new local coffee shop, I’m feeling tense. As a fan of Fielder’s, viewing the ‘uncomfortable’ might be a kink of mine because it’s at times a task for me to stare it down in person. Watching him feels like I’m afloat in a warm, saltwater soak until long, greasy-tressed showrunner Dougie Schecter (Benny Safdie) enters the picture, exercising creative license, fabricating tears for the mother, blowing menthol in her eyes for the redness. I’m suddenly feeling a bit uneasy inside. So far, the price of admission is one dropped stomach and I’ll happily plunk it down.

Benny Safdie (Uncut Gems, Oppenheimer) and brother Josh are goddamn craftsmen with high tension and anxiety. I remember feeling equal parts amped and uneasy watching Uncut Gems. When you combine that with the 151 Proof of Nathan Fielder’s awkwardness, the cold open feels like my first time drinking White Russians: I was queasy throughout, but the taste and elation of inebriation had me going back for more. Bottoms up.

Making Dougie an asset highly recommended by the network gives his agency more bite, but making Whitney’s character aware of their situation gives her more of an edge. The goddamn optics look pretty touchy themselves with them both being a straight, white married Tesla-driving couple who travel to Española, New Mexico to ‘save’ its destitute Hispanic/Latino community with their new eco-friendly homes, driving up the rent and ultimately displacing the Hispanic/Latino community like what happened to the Indigenous before them… for public display.

It’s gorgeously stomach-churning, right down to Whitney’s ‘invisible homes’ as an architectural example of the farce hidden in plain sight. The ‘net-zero’ passive houses are what I can only describe as Architectural Digest subscriber’s fever dream, externally looking like reflective modern art installations. Similar designs are meant to reflect nature, essentially erasing the house itself, which is what they’re doing to this neighborhood, deleting it. The structures are good “show, don’t tell”, just irritating enough to be disruptors in their own right.

On opening day at the Barrier Coffee shop, Asher blows quite possibly their only shot at promotion, interviewing with the local news station, blowing up at field reporter Monica (Tessa Mentus) for a sneak attack on Whitney doing more harm than good with her houses and mentioning her slumlord lineage, prompting Asher’s Mr. Hyde to emerge. Though not entirely unsolicited, his hostility is fucking creepy because it’s bubbling passive aggression, a measured type of screaming.

The ghastly first impression is a testament to Nathan’s acting. I felt that shit, so it only makes sense to me that he makes it right with a scoop for the reporter to retire off of in order for the review to be killed. It’s “borrowing from Peter to pay Paul”, which is precisely the type of high-stakes shit we had seen with Benny’s other work.

We don’t let up when the focus shifts to Dougie, staging an extemporaneous shot with Asher and a little black girl selling soda, embodying the very foundation of what makes reality TV the insidious mind rot it is. When the camera rolls, a redemptive moment blossoms before our very eyes before Asher figuratively snatches it away from us and literally from the little girl, prompting her to “curse” him, twisting the tone in a most distorted way.

Who even cares if his meeting with Monica ended kind of positively? A curse is in play and by dint of watching Asher, I feel cursed. Messes showing up on one’s doorstep? Compartmentalizing acts of shit so they don’t intersect until they all explode in magnificent fashion? It’s a Safdie staple for a reason.

Whitney’s parents fittingly don’t win any humanitarian awards. Paul (Corbin Bersen) is at best tolerant of his Jewish son-in-law with his wife Elizabeth (Constance Shulman) at least contributing to her daughter’s eating disorder. We’re not meant to like any of these people, but maybe just be surprised by them. Paul’s greenhouse speech about small dicks whilst he nourishes his tomato’s soil with his own urine is oddly enlightened, creeping back into the surreal. We get a solid glimpse of Asher when he urinates a few scenes prior and though I remember vaguely reading about it beforehand, it still snuck up on me. It’s not used for titillation but rather food for thought. Could this be the source of the dude’s anger, this curse, and the only way Asher can accept his gift, which, from what Paul says in no uncertain terms is accepting the truth? It’s a matter of philosophy ending on a ‘button’ of a visual micro-penis gag. “The Cherry Tomato Boys.” Wow.

Crass? Yes. Cringe? You bet, and even after a tender moment of decompression when finally home after a tense car ride, we’re back for more “Should I be watching?” in the bedroom where Asher uses a vibrator named “Steven” on his wife while being frozen out. It feels like we’re not meant to see this, but yet here we are. Then again, why should I spend all this glorious time feeling gross when it’s been a minute since I last felt dirty?

This comes hilariously in the form of Dougie showing Asher and Whitney his unaired reality dating show that places a masked burn victim in front of 15 potential partners. It’s hilariously in horrific taste, but the silliness is quickly swapped for queasiness when Whitney comes across the footage shot from earlier with the little girl. Come on, did you really think Dougie would cut?

I’m a fan of Asher consequently being forced to right a heinous wrong and pinheadedly ignoring the few ways he could. Sure, he doesn’t find the little girl, but instead of helping keep the lights on in a homeless shelter for one more night, he paints over the necrotic wood of his soul by giving a woman with a baby the money (only maybe scoring him a couple of good Karma points) then lying to his wife about finding the girl, embellishing to make himself sound heroic (putting him in the Karmic debt).

The episode titled “Land of Enchantment” ends with Dougie in Whitney’s ear and a question in ours. Sure, Dougie’s scuzzy, but at least he didn’t dash a little girl’s dreams. What would we do? It’s given the audience an interesting hypothetical to mull about.

Showtime Studios with A24 is an inspired choice, though I can see where the divisiveness can factor in. A24 is like McDonald’s in that when you pass the Golden Arches, you don’t smell food, you smell a brand. This arthouse studio is no different. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing, but I can see where A24 sycophants (like myself) will eat this up without holding more of a critical eye to it.

From the sometimes distant, yet intimate cameras, we’re given something that feels voyeuristic, not unlike the Nathan Fielder docu-comedy The Rehearsal. Benny Safdie employs the sick synths, compliments of jazz musician John Medeski and fellow Safide collaborator electronic music producer Daniel Lopatin (aka Oneohtrix Point Never) to keep the tension taut. The score grips you and never lets go, no matter the tonal shifts in the script.

In a show where glass houses are as much of a visual satire as they are a metaphor, we see the real invisible house, the farce of the facade: a couple constantly wallpapering over their shit for the camera. Seem like good bones to me.

Chicken Suits, Amish and Patrick Fabian Make Run With The Devil a Great Episode of Magnum P.I.

By
Josh Speer
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MAGNUM P.I. -- "Run With The Devil" Episode 516 -- Pictured: Tait Blum as Jacob -- (Photo by: NBC)

I had thought last week’s Magnum P.I. would be great because of my favorite former convict, Jin. Turns out, all the show needed to do better was an Amish kid, Higgins in a chicken suit and the fantastic Patrick Fabian. But before I get ahead of myself, let’s start at the beginning of the latest episode, “Run With The Devil.”

Though most episodes start with a small, humorous anecdote, I really have never seen anything like Higgy in a chicken suit, hawking nugget fliers for a place called Chicken & Brisket. Unable to resist, Magnum makes many horrible puns, but she’s there for a reason. She’s playing lookout for someone that skipped bail heading to a pawn shop across the street. When he finally shows up and she flashes her badge, poor Juliette is knocked on her feathers. Magnum checks on her first before chasing the guy at full throttle.

Not to be outdone, Higgy gives chase as best she can in the cumbersome suit, at one point accidentally rolling with a frustrated ‘bollocks.’ So it was surprising that Thomas was the one to get crashed into by someone’s windshield. Then the chicken lady manages to collar the criminal, though her suit loses a wing in the process. Sadly, she doesn’t wear the hilarious suit the entire episode.

Run With The Devil | T.C.
MAGNUM P.I. — “Run With The Devil” Episode 516 — Pictured: Stephen Hill as Theodore “TC” Calvin — (Photo by: NBC)

At La Mariana, Gordon is devouring a juicy looking burger and bacon as Rick stares hungrily at his plate. He’s trying to shave off a few pounds so he can fit into his dress suit for a Marine Corps ball, so he’s only eating kale and cucumber smoothies. He’s fighting the dreaded baby weight, and Gordon is having a lot of fun torturing the man. T.C. arrives, and to Rick’s dismay he’s not planning on attending. Mahina was his plus one, and after they broke up, he has no interest in going. Lucky for him, Rick’s not content to let his buddy sit it out.

Though Magnum is in a sling from his crash in the chicken incident, he still notices an Amish kid named Jacob placing missing girl posters on cars. He and Magnum talk, and it turns out his sister Hana is missing. Thomas asks if it’s unusual for people to leave the community, and Jacob insists his sister wouldn’t just leave him and his parents. He fervently thinks she’s in trouble and asks for help.

Kumu is tasked with contacting Jacob’s parents via the general store in Pennsylvania. As the two investigators continue researching, they find Hana stayed at a hostel in Hawaii, scooping ice cream. Then Thomas finds Hana on social media, noting she recently adopted a puppy. They track the mutt to her former residence, but only find Hana’s roommate. She says she loved showing the wider world to the Amish girl, but Hana lost her job. Somehow she kept paying rent, and then started bringing sketchy guys by. Eventually the roommate woke up one day to find Hana and all of her belongings gone. She also shares Hana had been spending a lot of time in nightclubs and bars before she left, which is the next lead our team follows, leaving Jacob with Kumu.

Back with Rick’s misadventures, he starts trying to find a date for T.C. to attend the ball. There’s a sweet girl named Emily benefitting from La Mariana’s free wifi, and Rick chats her up. It’s clear the girl thinks he’s asking for himself, but when he reveals he’s helping a friend and overshares, he scares Emily off. Suzie arrives with lunch, and suggests Rick try a celebrity date for T.C., since helping veterans is good publicity.

Run With The Devil | Higgy
MAGNUM P.I. — “Run With The Devil” Episode 516 — Pictured: Perdita Weeks as Juliet Higgins — (Photo by: NBC)

Back with Higgy, she’s been asking several places about Hana, and finally finds a lead at one nightclub. The bartender says he noticed Hana, but that she went by Chloe. She seemed badly drunk and kept getting hit on by men. Then one guy left with her, only for the bartender to find him screaming about how Hana and some guys robbed him. Also, it turns out Hana wasn’t drunk, except on club soda.

Gordon helps fill in some blanks. He knew Hana by reputation and had been hunting her for weeks. Several open cases paint a bad picture, including shoplifting, credit card fraud and a marijuana dispensary robbed at gunpoint with footage of Hana and 3 others. Maybe our little Amish girl has broken bad?

Jacob doesn’t believe Hana went criminal, and neither does Magnum. He thinks it would take longer than a couple weeks to totally discard all her values. Thomas is convinced she’s being coerced. Then Higgy finds a similar case involving a girl named Nora, so they head to the prison to talk with her. As for Rick, next he stalks an actual celebrity named Malia Manuel, and asks her to help T.C. out. He also overshares again, but somehow Malia is game to help out.

Run With The Devil | Surf
MAGNUM P.I. — “Run With The Devil” Episode 516 — Pictured: Malia Manuel as herself — (Photo by: NBC)

As they talk with Nora, Magnum and Juliette find that the men with her took her phone away, and threatened her with harm if she told anybody about them. When they push for a name, she provides a guy named Ben. With Gordon at the helm, SWAT then raids his place, only to find corpses. Not Hana’s, just the men that were using her.

Kumu seems to be bonding with Jacob over Hawaiian food, and talking about diversity as a strength and respecting different cultures. Then she gets called back by Jacob’s parents, and finds a problem. Jacob isn’t Jacob. His name is actually Saul, and he’s only 14. He stole his cousin’s ID to help find Hana, but the rest of his story tracks. The problem is Kumu is really hurt by his deception.

Meanwhile Thomas and Juliette decide to look for someone that Hana’s merry group of thieves might have harmed, and who may have retaliated by killing everyone but her. They find the marijuana dispensary was bankrolled by a private equity group. And wouldn’t you know it, the guy in charge, Sam Bedrosian, is played by none other than Patrick Fabian! AKA Howard Hamlin from Better Call Saul! He’s clearly shifty and nefarious, but when they ask to trade for Hana, they realize he doesn’t have her. Though it’s very likely his men are responsible for the carnage they found at Ben’s place.

Run With The Devil | Lucifer
MAGNUM P.I. — “Run With The Devil” Episode 516 — Pictured: Patrick Fabian as Sam Bedrosian — (Photo by: NBC)

Thomas thinks Hana escaped, and is ready to look for her. There’s just one problem – Saul got upset and ran away from Kumu. He’s busy placing fliers again when he gets a call about Hana, which he foolishly responds to. When Magnum and Higgins search for his phone later, they find it by a dumpster. Then it rings and the person on the other line wants to trade Saul for his sister, and the money she took with her.

They manage to track Hana by a saying Saul kept repeating, and find Hana took refuge with a pastor. The only problem is she doesn’t have the money Bedrosian’s men want, as it was stolen from her. So now they have to find a way to trade money they don’t have for Saul’s life.

It culminates in a tense standoff, as the armed men holding Saul are ready to kill him when Thomas shares they don’t have the money. But they have something better – Bedrosian bound and gagged in their truck! That does the trick, and they get Saul back. But not before Bedrosian swears revenge on them, so I fervently hope this isn’t the last we’ve seen of the talented actor.

Despite Rick’s best efforts, T.C. isn’t interested in going to the ball with a date, so he goes stag. Suzie and Rick are both ready to get crunk, and T.C. is just ready to enjoy a quiet evening. But then Mahina arrives as his surprise date! She’s gorgeous as always, and it looks like maybe their relationship isn’t over. Which is good, since T.C. needed a good break after his painful stint in recovery.

“Run With The Devil” ends with Magnum and Juliette watching Saul and Hana playing on the beach, as the adults talk about whether or not they believe in god. A really solid and fun episode of Magnum P.I. Here’s hoping Patrick Fabian shows up again to cause some trouble for our team of investigators.

The Killer Review: Fassbender Leaves A Trail of Dead in Fincher’s Dreamy Adaptation

By
Robert Kijowski
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0

“He knows so much about these things”

The Killer (Netflix) is divided into Five Chapters with an Epilogue. With the source material being Le Teuer, a French comic book by Matz and Luc Jacamon, it seems most fitting. We are immediately given the title credits. It’s been a veritable dog’s age since last I’d seen a movie without a cold open or the title at the very end, so this was a total breath of fresh air. They’re reminiscent of a video game, as they slink past like Roman shades as flashes of The Killer’s method of erasing others as well as himself complement the icy synths of Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross seep into the airspace before we report to The Killer’s first job of the movie.

His cool, calm, and collected inner musings are the first words to hit our Eustachian tubes. Hope you like voiceovers because outside of his direct actions and his playlist, this will be our only way of getting to know The Killer. Yes, the narration device of voiceover or V.O. in movies and television in years past had been shunned and vilified in the world of professional screenwriting. As a scriptwriter, I was taught to stay away from it when possible, but also to embrace it if it’s truly called for. Now, this is a David Fincher joint; you know this ain’t his first rodeo with the device. He plays in it as Johnny Marr would play in harmonics, so I’m all in. This Killer’s voice exudes equal parts detachment and bonhomie. He’s addressing us directly, but at times he’s just amusing himself and it’s feeling like a fucking back massage to experience.

“But I haven’t got a stitch to wear”

We kick it off in Paris. Amid the piercingly gorgeous rococo architecture, The Killer (Michael Fassbender) awaits The Target (Endre Hules) in an almost monastic fashion, like a hunter in a perch, setting the film’s pace. We wait with the protagonist because we have to. We never take our eyes off of him, not for a second. We follow his every movement. From his stretching regimen to his routine naps in order to stay vigilant to his bromides and insights, our sights are set on him as he prepares for The Target. Could we be the hunter as well? I mean it definitely feels as if we’re almost watching a nature documentary.

Donning some really nice, brightly colored digs, complete with a bucket hat, The Killer doesn’t look like any assassin I’ve ever seen. He doesn’t possess the trench, beanie, and tea shades of Leon (though we do see him nap in sunglasses later). I suppose I’ve seen a similar “German tourist” look in the Hitman franchise, because for both Agent 47 and this guy, it’s not a uniform, it’s camouflage. My guy doesn’t need a damn tactical suit like John Wick because the methodology behind his look is tactical to a floral button-down tee, which is pretty rad because it makes the most sense. In his words, “…at least avoid being memorable.”

It’s been five days. I like this a lot. It forces us to have patience with The Killer, to take a seat and pull up an ear for more of him waxing philosophically. With a movie title like The Killer, we’re expecting guns, grit, and gasoline because that’s what we were fucking fed for the last few years! What we if took a breath, put on some Smiths, and let the reward come to us, as a successful hunt should be.

 

I can feel your heartbeat.
Let’s make this a slow jam.

“I know, I know, it’s really serious”

In sniping, nothing is left to chance. Everything must be precise. However, statistics only get you so far. You can’t account for every single thing, you can only plan for it. Even then, nobody’s perfect. Suffice it to say, The Killer flubbed this shit. He flubbed it but good. Now, he did specify that he wasn’t a big fan of long-distance shit. If we remember anything from Leon: The Professional, sniper rifles are for novices. The fact that this motherfucker is most at home with the most intimate of killings in creatively staged accidents is ball-retracting chilling.

We don’t know this guy’s backstory, only their worldview and just now the shit show that’s landed on their doorstep. It’s a smart move because we don’t need much. If we’re in The Killer’s mind, his disquietude becomes ours, with his Cobra-like reflexes in self-erasure from a crime scene being just as entrancing as the location he’s in. It’s like watching a flower bloom before your very eyes, which makes the floral shirt so much more apt.

He’s now batting nine hundred and I’m finding myself stressing with him. Fassbender has a talent for showing ever-so-subtle cracks in this guy’s steely-eyed composure, especially when his boss is freaking the fuck out. His anticipatory instincts serve him well to change the flight last minute, but this is all about taking Mr. Perfect out of his comfort zone. This comes in the form of collateral damage in our second act.

“My only weakness is a list of crime”

Even when confronted with the rippling effect of an incomplete task, in this case, goons breaking into his hideout in the Dominican Republic, sexually assaulting his romantic partner Magdala (Sophie Charlotte) for info she never gives up, The Killer’s voice only grows icier in its resolve. Still, his soothing tone flies in the face of his actions, with the cadence of someone recording a memoir as he tags, tails, and hurts methodically all the way to the top, starting with his first “improvised” kill of a livery driver before heading to his former academic mentor and current employer, The Lawyer (Charles Parnell) and his secretary Dolores (Kerry O’Malley) in New Orleans before we get to Magdala’s assailant, The Brute (Sala Baker) in Florida. When I say this is a fight for the ages, it truly is.

It’s David and Goliath Disparity type shit and I’m all here for it. Shit, The Killer’s been talking our ears off for the last hour and a half, I would now like to see how his calisthenics pay off. You have size vs. speed and thanks to the beautifully choreographed stunt work, it plays out like a brilliant ballet of brutality in which everything not tied down is used to buy just a fraction of an adrenaline-drenched second. So much for “not improvising.” The fight looked damn good as if it were shot through the lens of an eu de toilette commercial, making it truly a set piece and a half. Give the Fassbender, Baker, stunt people, production designers, prop department, and sound designers their fucking roses.

 

Why so sad, Dolores?

“Please keep me in mind”

Many times, characters with “certain skill sets,” as dope as they may be at first, are poorly written because in all cases, they mainly have the upper hand which is fucking boring. They operate with the elegance of a basic directional pad in their thoughts and actions because their black-and-white autonomy isn’t being tested enough. In this case, you take a star and make him doubt himself. It’s subtle, but therein lies what makes Fassbender’s assassin so memorable.

True, from old TV sitcom aliases to vast amounts of coin to storage units as makeshift safe houses complete with “to-go” kits, The Killer is never ridden hard and put up wet the way John Wick was. He’s not ‘inherited a problem’ like Leon. I don’t want to bring it back to Fight Club, but The Killer’s only true enemy is himself, which is fabulous because you can never outrun your shadow, just wait for it to go to sleep.

The Killer isn’t some demon stirred so rudely from his ancient slumber. He’s simply a skilled practitioner in a highly exclusive service, enjoying what he does, or at the very least, not running away from it. He’s like Jay Leno in that he’s touched much of his “Tonight Show money.” I believe that he at least likes what he does. He’s in his prime, and his method for getting in and getting out is so beautiful to watch because it’s just as uncomplicated and single-serving as his personality. That being said, I like that as cool and compartmentalized as the man typically is, the external entropy and internal chaos as a direct result of his own actions hem and haw at this very crucial edge, making him even more engaging as the movie progresses.

“So drink, drink drink”

It’s only when we hit the third act that the momentum itself takes a bit of a nap as well. The Killer arrives in New York to meet with The Expert (Tilda Swinton). He’s not there for the cuisine or vintage whiskey drams. He’s there to listen. So am I. I could listen to Tilda all day, however, but I’ve seen enough of this lately to be kind of tired of it; a prestige actor in a high-positioned role that runs the potential risk of being just a fancy Pez dispenser for cheap exposition. I ain’t mad at it though because she does to The Killer exactly what the killer does to us by spoon-feeding him a bit of food for thought through humor. However, she did it with a grizzly bear joke as philosophical as it is comical.

Finally, it’s off to Chicago. With the voices of those hurt or killed as a result of his actions serving as a new mantra, The Killer slithers his way to The Client (Arliss Howard) in a way that sheer pleasure to witness. Money can buy you a lot of things, but it can’t buy you peace of mind and The Client filling in the missing pieces of the blood-soaked puzzle does little to assuage The Killer, but he does get to suck air for another day. Are those the floral notes of empathy I sense?

 

A night for improvisation.

“Driving in your car, I never ever want to go home”

I’ll keep it a stack. My initial disappointment in the movie was the usage of the soundtrack. I’m not familiar with the source material, but neither was I the first time I watched Fight Club. I don’t know how much killing actually goes on in the comic book itself, but I was anticipating full-fledged vignettes for each kill, nearly full-length Smiths songs, each a sonic reflection of the creative dispatching… until it was brought to my attention in the opening credits this was scored by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. By the beginning of the end credits with the melodic rattle of Marr’s acoustic guitar and militant jangle of Rourke’s bass on “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out,” everything fucking made sense to me. The Killer is sad. His line of work is fucking grisly. Death is his business. As a Smiths fan 20 years strong, happy as they sound, you don’t listen to them in hopes it’s going to be a good day. The Smiths. Sad music for sad people.

Having watched it twice for this review, I realized that just a hair above two hours (yes!) the shit’s just a solid work of art, through and through. It’s like a big hunk of Brazilian cherry wood that’s been hewn, sanded, treated, and conditioned to make a one-of-a-kind centerpiece that stands out a mile away for its audacity, elegance, and odd, alien familiarity. This movie is elevated in its simplicity. It’s lush in its pin-drop moments as well as its blood-soaked ones. The Killer’s taciturn wit serves as the intoxicating elixir, an assurance to himself as well as us that everything’s going to be alright. Each frame of this movie I could fucking hang on my wall. David Fincher once again enlists Academy Award-winning Cinematographer Erik Messerschmidt (Mank) for a film I can only hope gets made into an art book at some point. The adapted screenplay by Andrew Kevin Walker (Se7en) has some serious heat on it. It’s lean, slick, and packs a wallop. I think it goes without saying that Fassbender should absolutely be on the list of Oscar nominees.

It truly was the rewatch for me that cinched it. Something I didn’t catch the first time. The ending credits song is “There Is A Light That Never Goes Out.” It’s a very jangly, jaunty joint with funerary lyrics through a sardonic wit. This is precisely what the killer sounds like when he speaks to us. The song, despite poetically waxing of despair, shyness, and dread, there exists no hint of aloofness, despite the lyrics “If a ten-ton truck, kills the. both of us/ To die by your side/Well, the pleasure, the privilege is mine.” The songs are ultimately about hope.

A light that never goes out represents a house that’s always open, a place that’s always welcoming. In the tune, Morrissey pleads with his driver to take him “anywhere” because (like the transient Killer), he doesn’t really have a home. Though Morrissey also follows that up with “I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care,” he really does. So does The Killer, ultimately breaking his cardinal rule of actually “giving a fuck.”

Give Mr. Fincher his gladioli.

4.5/5 Stars.

Loki finds his “Glorious Purpose” in the season finale

By
Norton
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0

We start the episode off where the last one ended – with Loki in control of his time slipping. His initial efforts to fix the loom fail, leading him to revisit his confrontation with Kang. It appears that death was just part of the plan for Kang. He’s been in a never-ending cycle with Loki, having the same conversation about his fate trying unsuccessfully to convince the God of Mischief to allow him to win. Trying to show Loki that killing Sylvie is the best course of action, not only for himself, but for Loki and the universe as a whole. Still, Loki isn’t one to be told what has to be.

After a few other visits to past moments the trickster god gets a solid idea of what he ultimately needs to do. Destroying something isn’t the worst outcome so long as you replace it with something better. And, while the TVA isn’t a perfect institution, the temporal loom is an inherently selfish and cruel device designed to benefit one man and one man alone. In the end He Who Remains doesn’t give a shit about the world or any of the people in it, he’s there for the glory. He revels in it, believing himself to be right above all others. But Loki knows what it is to lose, to fight, to evolve and learn from his mistakes – he understands the importance of free will. Oddly in direct contrast to his infamous speech from The Avengers.

In the end, Loki does lose, but losing is put into perspective allowing him to finally “win” as it were. Confused? Yeah, I think that’s the point.

It’s a powerful season (potentially series) finale. High concept as all hell, but well executed and better understood with a few follow up views – and some internet sleuthing. Ultimately, Loki gets the throne he so desperately wanted, then didn’t want, becoming the center of the World Tree (Yggdrasil). He is now the God of Stories – a title he picked up in the Marvel Comics – a multiversal being capable of rewriting and creating the “stories” of all those around him. In this case it seems he’s more interested in maintaining and protecting these “stories” (the timelines, I’m guessing) than creating or rewriting them. This sequence is amazing, visually. Watching Loki go from a cog in the machine of the TVA, stepping out into the temporal radiation, to transform into his full god self – complete with horns. Then, as he uses his magic to break the loom, and take hold of the branches, before vanishing with the timelines to the End of Time to take his place on the throne. My favorite image is the World Tree itself – it is beautiful.

What does all this mean for the show? Personally, I don’t think a season 3 should happen. We got a lot of questions answered here and the main protagonist got a hell of a resolution. Mobius’ past with Ravonna was revealed – he failed to kill a child variant (I’m thinking Kid Loki), which is how he got demoted to an analyst and she got promoted to a judge. We learned that Kang allowed himself to be killed by Sylvie in order to prove he’s inevitable. The TVA, as predicted, evolved into a Kang hunting force among other things. It also looks to be an agent for unification between the various timelines. Sure, questions still remain – will Miss Minutes go back to being a murderous love-sick AI? Will Mobius kill and replace his exiting self? Where is Sylvie going to go? How exactly does the TVA work now? Is Ravonna gonna survive the land of lokis? Probably my biggest one: why did Kang give Loki the ability to time slip?

Actually, the better question is how. If you pay attention to the end of the first season, the why isn’t much of a curiosity. Kang explains that he’s tired. He’s willing to give up the throne to Loki and Sylvie so long as they take up his cause. Giving Loki the ability to time slip might have just been a way to prolong the sales pitch, especially since he could see Sylvie wasn’t going to bite. But Kang is, as we know, an ordinary human being – he’s not a god who can grant powers to someone. So…how exactly does he grant the trickster god his new trick? We’ll never know, unless they do a prequel or cover it in some other MCU project. Frankly, I’m OK with the mystery.

I doubt Mobius will do any harm to his timeline self, if anything, he might find a timeline where he died and assume that life, or make a life for himself ala Sylvie on another timeline. Sylvie will also likely continue her exploration of what it is to be alive – if anyone deserves a spin-off series, I think it’s her. Ravonna should be fucked, but I wouldn’t be surprised if she wrangles the Lokis and makes herself Queen of the Void. As for the TVA, that could also be fodder for a spin-off series.

The main argument against a third season would be Loki himself. Now that he sits at the center of the World Tree, how do you handle him in a new season? If a third season were to happen it would likely involve either a way for the Story God to visit the worlds he’s protecting, OR, explore the life of another Loki variant. Again, my vote would be for Sylvie, though even if it was another Tom Hiddleston Loki variant, Sylvie could easily make an appearance. Hell, you could even throw in Mobius, the TVA, and Ravonna, but honestly? This was such a perfect ending the series that it would be a disgrace to continue.

Make a spin-off series if anything, but please, greedy capitalist media moguls don’t make a third season! I hate even numbers, abhor them, but even I can admit a third season would be a huge mistake. Let Loki rest in peace. Hasn’t he earned it?

Upload Episode 3×8 Review: Is “Flesh and Blood” Meaty Enough for a Finale?

By
Robert Kijowski
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We know all victories have a shelf life in the world of Upload.

Review

With Dr. Kapoor now six feet under because he knew too much, the season finale of Upload titled “Flesh and Blood” throws us right on the trial, where Holden (Kristine Cofsky) exposes Horizen’s ad campaign aimed towards children for Lakeview. While putting Lucy (Andrea Rosen) under scrutiny is mildly satisfying to me, it’s downright bliss to Karina (Jeanine Mason), which skeeves out Aleesha (Zainab Johnson) with each passing comment. I get their relationship and where it plays in it all, but if they wrote this relationship to be only shallow, I’ve absolutely no problem with that. I don’t know if there’s much there worth exploring outside of a means to an end.

Nathan (Robbie Amell) proposes to Nora (Andy Allo) a trip to Montreal but there’s little to no room left for guessing why. They all but shove it in Nora’s face. What I’m taken about slightly is that she’s taken aback. Sure, she’s got a lot on her plate, but knowing the location is a honeymoon destination and not putting two and two together I ain’t exactly buying. It is interesting, however, to know that in the projected future, North America will have its own Paris in Quebec.

Nathan asking Luke (Kevin Bigley) to be his best man is a pretty joyous moment and for a second, I think that the same thing’s going to happen when Luke gets a call from backup Nathan asking him the same but with regards to Ingrid. In a classic tale of wires getting crossed, Luke would think Nathan’s getting “Upload dementia” or something, inadvertently spilling the beans harder than Kevin in The Office, setting up for a very messy outcome at the end of the episode. Nope. No such luck.

In this episode, we keep Aleesha (Zainab Johnson) Luke’s priority, which is what I’ve been waiting for. They want to take down Karina, enlisting Tinsley (Mackenzie Cardwell) and AI Guy (Owen Daniels). Tinsley’s ditzyness is momentarily played up a bit more than usual which would typically be annoying to me, but at this point, I don’t care. It’s not that I’ve thrown up the white flag on Tinsley but in a finale, moments have to pop, and her splash of uber-gullibility coupled with AI’s desire to feel more human brightens an otherwise simple setup to a fun plan that’s not super distracting to the rest of the story, as I’m a fan as any of group hijinks, which is a department they’ve been lacking in, so I’m happy with whatever the show throws me in the 11th hour.

I’m also a fan of the one person who can seemingly fall Horizen is not only the most accessible but also the hardest to flip. Looks like Nora and Nathan have to wine and dine Ingrid (Allegra Edwards). Hoo boy. The design of the swanky LA restaurant is based on the fucking horror show that is the Red Lobster lobby, except with livestock. It’s definitely a more effective satirical jab than the shock and awe of a fucking Cow-terpiller, but they actually work better together as a commentary.

Even though Nora is ravishing in red, all I see is red with her not picking up on the whole Montreal thing at dinner. It’s simply out of character for the typically on-the-take Nora, but I’m immediately distracted by Nathan 2.0’s good news to both IRL Nathan and Nora. I’m giddy because this means that some shit’s about to go down in the worst way. I love a series that has a talent for making hopeful territory fertile ground for catastrophic outcomes. That isn’t a slight in the slightest.

Ingrid does take some convincing, but Nora delivers on that with quite possibly the most important opening statement of her pre-law career before we check in with backup Nathan and a disaster waiting to happen at a beautifully lit area of Lakeview’s woods when he pops Ingrid the question. It goes as well as you think it would in the world of Upload, but at least we get to see AI Guy in his best outfit this season. This does lead to one of my bigger caveats with the episode.

Ingrid right before stepping into court is probably the most paralyzed and vulnerable we’d ever seen her but giving her very little choice in being a hero isn’t giving her much of a sympathetic angle from all of the horrid behavior she’d exemplified this season. There is absolutely nothing for her at stake since she’s already cut off from her family. There isn’t any risk of death or even losing her own Nathan for the sake of upload-kind.

Ingrid’s questioning of her standing with backup Nathan is completely valid seeing what Nora went through, but her waterworks do not seem earned. Even with Allegra giving it her all, it’s not punching hard enough because she was kept annoyingly spiteful and insecure the entire goddamn time. I’ll sidestep that for a brief moment to address Nora’s blind spot with Montreal.

Montreal ain’t the problem. It’s the damn lack of communication between her and Nathan throughout these eight damn episodes. With Nathan now a flesh-and-blood reality, they ironically couldn’t be farther apart in their interactions. Yes, their whole arc this season had flashes of unbridled warmth and inspired brilliance, but also many moments of utter aloofness and embarrassing vacuity.

I’ve proposed a few possible explanations. A.) Nathan truly hasn’t been carrying his own weight in showing affection B.) Nora’s the one who’s checked out C.) They both don’t care anymore D.) Their dynamics have unintentionally failed this season. E.) Their relationship is way more complicated than we think and is more representative of the true caprice in human beings.

With this being a comedy-drama, not the other way around, my money sadly is on “D.” It’s fucking hard to paint a hopeful picture of something that you may be too close to that can hold a lot of pain. The doubts in Nora and even Nathan throughout this whole season represent something so fucking raw and real with long-distance relationships. How do you inject hope into something with such a dismal success rate? Clearly, Upload hasn’t cracked that code yet. Their relationship this whole season seemed way more closed off when out in the real world and though most signs point to them getting together in the end, I’m just not rooting for them nearly as much as I should be.

Ingrid putting a target on Nathan through her impassioned declaration of love for an upload was a nice noose-tying of her own because it was an honest and heartfelt mistake, which is what makes what happens after her day in court when she comes home to Lakeview and a very understanding and loving Nathan a bit more… promising.

I was given the glimpse that Ingrid would have to lose majorly this season early on when they refused to show any real improvement in her character. Major shifts in a character’s personality are so much the fashion these days as a prologue to a major event in the finale, it’s not even shocking anymore. However, throwing something majorly painful at Ingrid is the only way we’ll see any character development in her. She’s not suffered enough to know what true happiness is, so I’m hoping that’s where the fourth season goes.

Ultimately, a battle’s been won in court but the war wages on. Sure, Horizen’s been fingered in the suit, and a landmark case had been won, resulting in a payout and peace of mind for the Freeyond victims, but IRL Nathan is no longer the property of Horizen which keeps him undocumented and now, detained. What’s more, Horizen’s still got the upper hand with a rebrand, now allowing all uploads to work, which will most likely bring in some lofty labor law commentary. These two revelations are a great setup for next season. I love that the people we care about are in for a Sysphean uphill battle. That’s the great part of this show. They put these people through the wringer… just some more unduly than others.

But that’s not what you’ve read up until this point are here for. What do I think about the final cliffhanger? I think it’s drawn me back in. For all of the gripes I’ve had with this season being more fulfilling than last season, but less punchy than the first, for the first time this season, they’ve given me a hopeful moment that I can count on in the elimination of a Nathan. Maybe we can start moving along with some true character development for Ingrid now?

4/5 Stars.

The Marvels Review: Higher, Further, Faster!

By
Josh Speer
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Generally, when I go to watch a Marvel movie, I go for the veteran characters. Iron Man, Captain America, Spider-Man and the like. Which makes it so unusual that the reason I went to watch The Marvels wasn’t Captain Marvel, nor was it the incomparable Monica Rambeau. No, it was all about Kamala Khan, at least for this fan. And while I went for the delightful acting of Iman Vellani, I’m glad I stayed. Because The Marvels was not only full of heart, but it has some amazing fight sequences and great character interactions.

The Marvels | Supremor

To the surprise of nobody, the reason that the three main characters get entangled is because of the actions of the villain, the Supremor Dar-Benn. This twisted zealot is like Ronan the Accuser on steroids, and determined to make Hala whole and livable again. A noble enough endeavor in theory, except that she plans to do so by stealing resources from other planets. Worse, she has the means to do so. First thing in the movie, she finds the twin bangle to Kamala’s, and uses it to devastating effect, opening a rift in spacetime.

Believe it or not, that’s not much of a spoiler, at least if you have seen any of the trailers. That said, I will do my best as always to avoid the biggest ones. Though in fairness, there are not many big surprises in the movie, outside of the mind blowing mid-credits scene that every fan of the MCU should already know to sit and watch for. That aside, let’s talk about what makes The Marvels so much fun.

The Marvels | Lost in Space

Like many other Marvel movies, this is a rollercoaster. It starts fast, and though it occasionally slows down, it’s never for long. Usually it does so to give us a training montage or flashback for context. I admit I forgot how Monica is connected to Carol, so I really appreciated some of those flashbacks. In many ways, this is a movie you can only truly appreciate if you’ve seen a ton of series on Disney+. Specifically, Ms. Marvel, WandaVision and, to a lesser degree Secret Invasion, on top of the Captain Marvel movie. That’s a lot of viewing, almost making The Marvels feel like a mini Avengers team up of sorts.

The Marvels | Monica

One thing I liked about the movie is how each of the main characters has a purpose on the team. Carol is the brute force, Monica is the brain, and Kamala is the beating heart that draws them all together. She’s also hilarious, regularly fangirling, yelling “Twinsies!” and reminiscing “Oh captain, my captain” as she stares wistfully at her favorite blonde bombshell (while an exhausted Monica simply rolls her eyes).

The Marvels | Captain Marvel

Each of them also gets their own amazing comedic moments, such as Carol’s look of pure panic as she crash lands in the Khan household, and tries to walk covertly outside with mixed results. Or Monica’s patience with Kamala as she keeps trying to workshop a nickname for the former Lieutenant Trouble. Hell, even Nick Fury gets in on the fun, yelling at Monica to use “Black Girl Magic” to finally fly and save an endangered plummeting Kamala.

The Marvels | Kamala

As if that wasn’t enough, Kamala’s family is also very present in the movie, with her mother stealing the camera more than once, and providing some amazingly uncomfortable laughs. Her dad and brother also get dragged into space by a series of events, and let’s just say Dad doesn’t like Nick Fury’s space elevator. Also, as a fan of all things feline, I’m very happy that Goose gets lots of cameos in The Marvels! Not only does the space kitty terrify Kamala, but she manages to save the day during a very tense sequence on the S.A.B.E.R. station. I won’t spoil it, but it’s amazing and easily one of my favorite scenes outside of the Guardians of the Galaxy movies.

The Marvels | Water Planet

Also, did I mention the fight scenes? Not only are they well choreographed, but many of them take place in multiple locations simultaneously, taking good advantage of the swapping mechanic afflicting the three ladies. The first big fight nearly destroys the Khan house, and they don’t get much calmer from there. Once the big bad realizes Kamala has what she most desires, they get even more intense.

The Marvels | Bad Beeyotch

The smartest thing about The Marvels is how Carol is forced to work with a team. By herself, Captain Marvel is a cosmic hero, capable of almost anything. So it’s hard to make a villain to counter that sort of power. But here, she’s constantly foiled by the entangling. Worse (for her, at least), Dar-Benn’s bangle can absorb light energy, which she uses to great effect to thwart Carol’s best attempts to defeat her. Not to mention, she swings a pretty mean hammer.

The Marvels | Nick Fury

As to why Dar-Benn is so pissed off, let’s just say the movie is all about unintended consequences, and there’s definitely some collateral damage. Dar-Benn’s first atrocity forces our team to save as many Skrull refugees as possible from a dying planet, and Kamala definitely takes it hard when they can’t save everyone. Not to mention, Carol has some dark history she’s afraid to face, but which eventually is forced into the light of day.

The Marvels | Flerkittens

Though the movie’s not perfect, and definitely can strain credulity as far as how the powers involved work, I still rather enjoyed The Marvels. Kamala and company make a surprisingly effective team, and the aftermath of the movie sets up some fun possibilities. Don’t buy the negative talk about the decline of the MCU. This movie shows there’s lots of potential in the stories yet to be told.

‘When Evil Lurks’ Review: Bleak and Brutal Film Revels in the Visceral Horror of Demonic Possession

By
Sunil Patel
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0

When Evil Lurks gripped me far more tightly than Terrified, Argentinian writer-director Demián Rugna once again displaying his talent at crafting unnerving imagery but now offering more in the way of worldbuilding, narrative, and emotional investment in characters to deliver a brutal, nihilistic horror film that will satisfy those who are into that sort of thing and traumatize those who aren’t. Like Talk to Me, it’s got a fresh new take on demonic possession, but unlike that film’s more obvious metaphor, this one has an idea so cool and horrifying I’m surprised I haven’t seen it done before.

Most possession horror treats possession as an extraordinary event that occurs to a single person. Rugna, however, posits a world that feels almost post-apocalyptic, where demonic possession is common enough that the police don’t want to deal with it, but uncommon enough that you as an individual might still find it extraordinary when you witness your first possessed one. Which is what happens to brothers Pedro and Jimmy after they investigate some mysterious gunshots in the middle of the night—I love that this film wastes no time, its plot kicking off immediately from the opening scene, the entire rest of the film occurring because Pedro and Jimmy heard some mysterious gunshots in the middle of the night.

This is one of those films that’s best to go in knowing nothing about it because Rugna, as was clear from Terrified, likes to just throw the audience into a world and let them figure out what’s going on and why. There are certain approaches to genre that really appeal to me, and they’re opposites. One is where the film exists in a very heightened world and simply asks you to accept that it’s quite different from our own. The other is where the film exists in a very grounded world that integrates the genre element into it so seamlessly and matter-of-factly that there’s almost an element of cognitive dissonance because the world is too close to our own. This film does the latter brilliantly, and so we learn the rules of this world by observing what the characters who know the rules of this world say and do. (And Rugna’s kind enough to give us a scene where a character literally lists the rules of this world and a scene where a character provides a bit of backstory about the origins of this world.)

Rugna doesn’t explain everything, but he explains just enough to be able to follow what’s going on without demystifying the supernatural horror. There’s no sound effect or visual effects to indicate when people are possessed, for instance. You just…know. Because they are…off. And also they will violently kill someone. That’s usually a good sign they’re possessed.

Once things start going bad, they just get…worse and worse, as Pedro and Jimmy attempt to escape with their family. And people weren’t kidding, this movie gives no fucks. Don’t get attached to anyone. But also do, because no one feels disposable here! I actually cared about the fucking characters, unlike in Terrified. Ezequiel Rodriguez and Demián Salomon have good older brother/younger brother chemistry, and I spent the entire movie waiting for something bad to happen to one or both of them.

The film establishes early on how few fucks it gives and what lines it’s willing to cross, so that keeps things niiiiiice and tense for the rest of the movie. Although to be honest, from the way people were talking about this movie, I was expecting a lot worse. Rugna’s violence is vicious and unexpected, and he gives some gore but, again, not as much as I expected from what I’d heard. It’s the sort of movie where you think you see more than you actually see because the impact is just so hard.

And he’s operating on a psychological level as well, evoking the supernatural dread of the demon’s ultimate goal, the eerie hopelessness of seeing or hearing a loved one possessed by a demon, and the uncanny spookiness of creepy fuckin’ children. This is an intentionally distressing film, and Rugna knows what he’s doing. God, the precise and controlled camera work here is so masterful, and Pablo Fuu’s score really adds to the atmosphere.

The film does make a couple of missteps. One of Pedro’s sons, Jair, is nonverbal autistic, and I’ll admit I just assume any portrayal of a nonverbal autistic character in a movie, especially a horror movie, is offensive in some way because, you know, film history. Here, the character himself seems fine until it becomes clear the only reason he’s autistic is so the film can play with the intersection of autism and demonic possession in this world, which veers into Magical Autism territory…until it doesn’t? I don’t know, feels like the film still could have gotten to the ending it wanted without being another horror movie that’s not great about disability.

And speaking of that ending, I did like the resolution of the demon storyline, but the denouement/punchline relies on characters somehow…forgetting about another character until it’s relevant. There’s a bit of messiness in the second half for sure compared to the expert build of the first half.

When Evil Lurks delivers on the visceral horror of demonic possession, but it has more than blood and guts on its mind. There’s a lot to unpack with regards to what the possession represents—one character compares it to a disease, and indeed a lot of the individual and community reactions do mirror reactions to communicable disease—and what the construction of this world is meant to say about our own. It seems telling, for instance, that you’re not supposed to use firearms on a possessed one. Rugna does not find much light in this world—and definitely not electric ones, which produce some subtle shadow effects I wanted more of yet almost found scarier for the fact that the film didn’t call attention to them—but that doesn’t mean he’s not trying to shine a light on something or other. And after this movie, you just might want to keep the lights on.

Blue Eye Samurai is the Best New Animated Show of the Year

By
Victor Catano
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0

One of the features of Netflix is that thing often just appear, without warning, and can be easily overlooked if you don’t happen to check your home page the day they’re released.

This almost happened to me with Blue Eye Samurai, an animated martial arts revenge thriller. I had heard nothing about this show before its release. If I hadn’t heard something about it on social media, I might have skipped it entirely. I’m not a big anime guy, but the reviews were so glowing that I decided to watch an episode.

And I am so glad I did. This is, unquestionably, the best animated show of the year, and the best animated show Netflix has put out since season one of Arcane. (Hey, speaking of Arcane, when is Season 2 coming out, Netflix?)

Created by the husband-and-wife team of Michael Green and Amber Noizumi, the story offers a twist on the revenge plot so popular in samurai and martial arts movies. There is a lot of weight given to what revenge costs and how it weighs on the soul. Green was nominated for an Oscar for his screenplay to Logan, and you can see a bit of that DNA in the script.

The story is set in feudal Japan in the mid-1600s, after Japan has closed its borders to the outside world. Mizu (voiced by Maya Erskine) is the title character. The blue eyes come from from her mixed-race heritage. When she was born, there were only four white men in Japan. Mizu’s plan is to kill each one as revenge for making her a mixed-race bastard and an outcast. So she wears colored glasses to hide her eyes. And since revenge and swordplay are not paths open to women, she must disguise herself as a man as well.

On her quest, she meets a variety of characters, including the lovable Ringo (voiced by Masi Oka). Ringo sees Mizu dispatch some villains in his father’s noodle shop and immediately decides to become her apprentice, much to Mizu’s annoyance. Ringo has no hands, and he feels a kinship to Mizu because they’re both “deformed.” He can still make great noodles and medicinal brews, though. Ringo fills the archetype of the good-natured lummox with hidden depth splendidly. Ringo is fantastic. If Ringo is not your favorite character, we cannot be friends.

She also comes across Taigen (Darren Barnet), a samurai in a town she passes through. After defeating everyone in his dojo because they won’t give her the information she wants that will lead her to the first white man she wants to kill, she proceeds to humiliate him by lopping off his topknot. This enrages him so much that he follows after to demand a rematch. This in turn causes his fiancée, Princess Akemi (Brenda Song), to chase after him lest her father marry her off to the Shogun’s cruel son. Akemi is more than just a lovestruck girl, however, and over the series shows resilience and intelligence. Akemi is accompanied by her governor, Seki, voiced by George Takei, and George Takei gets to say some absolutely bad ass lines. Holding a sword to a bandit’s throat, he says “It’s been a long time since I killed a man. I wonder if I remember how…”

Believe me when I tell you that the animation is gorgeous It’s a combination 2D and 3D techniques, and it looks spectacular. Every frame is beautiful. There’s a fight on a beach at sunset, where the red waves are crashing as the two enemies fight, mimicking waves of blood.

And the action! These are beautifully choreographed fights, fluid and vicious. There’s a sequence where Mizu has to defend a brothel from about one hundred hoodlums, all armed with Wolverine-claw gauntlets. There’s another where she fights off four assassins called the Four Fangs while doing handsprings down a cliff face. It is spectacular. It’s amazing, yet it all feels realistic and grounded, and not at all weightless like it would if this was CGI in a live-action film.

This is very adult animation, and not just because of the violence and sex. (Though to be clear, the violence is very graphic, with limbs flying, blood spraying, and people being disemboweled. And so is the nudity and sex, as a couple of episodes take place almost entirely in brothels.) This also covers a lot of adult topics, like class, racism, and sexism. The show is very explicit about how badly people treat Mizu when they see her eyes, spitting insults like “half-breed,” and how limited the options are for women.

If you’ve been looking for a new show that’s great to look at, with memorable characters, and some great dialogue, get to your device of choice right now and start watching. Get those numbers up, because I want to see about 10 more seasons of Mizu’s revenge quest.

‘Quantum Leap’ revisits a dark piece of Asian American history in “One Night in Korea Town”

By
Mary Fan
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Image: NBC

Looking back on how American history was taught back when I was in school, it often felt literally Black and white. Which was odd for someone who, as the child of Chinese immigrants, was neither. Even as I entered my college years and beyond, even as civil rights matters surged back into headlines, throughout the 2010s and into the 2020s, I often felt like I existed in some kind of null space outside the world the rest of America — at least the one that was being written and talked about in the media — seemed to exist in. Everything I know about Asian American history, I learned on my own, reading and watching documentaries in an attempt to fill in the gaps left by the American education system.

I remember a few brief lessons in school about the 1992 LA riots, and they all focused on how the riots erupted after a Black man, Rodney King, was brutally beaten by white police officers, who were then acquitted. What they never taught us was that a second injustice — the murder of a 15-year-old Black girl, Latasha Harlins, by a Korean store owner, and that store owner’s subsequent light sentence — played a part as well.

Image: NBC

“One Night in Korea Town,” the fifth episode of Quantum Leap‘s second season, takes Ben to this dark chapter in Asian American history… one that’s too often glossed over or ignored outright. In most of Ben’s leaps, his race is inconsequential; even when he leaps into a person of color, it doesn’t significantly impact his quest. This time, though, Ben leaps into a fellow Korean: the teenaged son of LA sneaker store owner Jin.

In an eerie nod to what happened to Harlins — who was accused of stealing an orange juice for perhaps no reason other than that she was Black — Jin sees a Black teenager, Damien, enter the store and immediately accuses him of trying to steal. Though it turns out Damien is known to Jin’s other son, Sonny.

The episode briefly explores generational tensions between Jin and his two sons. Like many immigrant parents, Jin is very proud of what he has built after arriving in America with nothing and wishes to pass on his legacy to his children. But the boys have different ambitions… Sonny wants to start his own shoe line, with Damien as his designer and business partner, and Ben’s host is planning to join the Marines.

Since, at Ben’s request, Addison is no longer his hologram, Magic is the one who steps into the imaging chamber this week — a necessary move on the part of the writers, since the episode explores tensions between Black and Asian Americans, and so his perspective is vital. Magic is also the only member of Team Quantum Leap that hadn’t taken on the role of hologram yet, and so you could also say it was his turn. I’m glad the show will be rotating who gets to be the hologram this season; Ben and Addison’s drama has been well played out over the course of Season 1 and early Season 2, and it’s nice to give the other characters (who are all excellent) more time to shine.

When the deadly riots break out, Ben learns that his quest this time is to save the people around him. First, a nurse who’d stopped into the store for shoes and would have been caught in the crossfire trying to get home. Then Jin, who arms himself with a rifle and attempts to defend his store.

Image: NBC

Tensions and emotions run high as Ben hunkers down with Jin, Sonny, and the nurse in the store, unable to leave without running straight into the violence outside. Magic initially tries to act professionally detached, advising Ben on strategy. But when he sees Damien, who’s fated to be mistaken for a rioter and shot by police, the leap gets personal. Because Magic knows what it’s like to be treated like a criminal because of his race alone — it happened to him as a young soldier. And he was there for the 1967 race riots.

Image: NBC

The episode also gives us a glimpse into Magic’s personal life — something the show has been relatively vague on until now. Turns out he’s more than the tough, competent boss he was portrayed as in Season One. Now, he’s also struggling with alcoholism, exacerbated by the stress of Ben’s disappearance and the loss of Quantum Leap during the three-year time jump. And he’s been dating Beth Calavicci — Al’s widow.

Image: NBC

This iteration of Quantum Leap has placed great emphasis on humanizing its characters — both its regulars and its guests — and takes special care to give each and every one emotional depth. “One Night in Korea Town” does a particularly good job of doing that for Magic and adding layers to a character we already know and love. Ben was the main character of this episode, but Magic was truly the standout.

There’s a lot to unpack in this episode, and given the heavy topic it chose to tackle, its conclusion feels a bit overly optimistic, wrapping everything up in a little too neat a bow. But then again, that optimism has been a part of Quantum Leap‘s DNA since the very first episode of the original show. After all, the entire premise of the show is that it’s possible to change history for the better. And let’s face it, we could all use a happy ending now and then.

5/5 stars

Upload Episode 3×7 Review: In “Upload Day”, the Only Display of Growth is Sadly in Ingrid’s Nose

By
Robert Kijowski
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Review:

The penultimate episode of Upload (Prime Video) season three opens on Nathan’s new base of operations in Lakeview, a white space with a very comfortable chair. The idea of having Nathan (Robbie Amell) affixed to Nora (Andy Allo) like Iron Man’s “Football” armor is really appealing, especially when mobile. Their using the twenty minutes affectionally before Nathan uploads is the perfect setup for impending doom. I mean, the look of love in bed could make anybody delay the inevitable. It’s a tried trope for a reason. I’ll give them credit, they laid out the 1-2 punch of “that doesn’t sound good” and “once again for those in the cheap seats”. Happy “Upload Day”, IRL Nathan.

The one thing I’ve found most depressingly consistent in this season so far is dropping the ball with Ingrid (Allegra Edwards), and I’m confident to report this episode doesn’t disappoint. Her grilling Nathan 2.0 about the time spent in the Memory Parlor with Nora is truly grating, but not for the reason intended. I’ll fucking bitch about Ingrid’s portrayal until it’s remedied. Her asking Tinsley (Mackenzie Cardwell) to prepare Nora’s skin is not only creepy (which I’m sure is the point) but also very gross in a manipulative way on her behalf. It’s as if ya’ll didn’t realize there’s a common enemy that’s actually evil.

Ingrid playing Nora just feels wrong — not because it’s a white woman donning a person of color’s digital skin, but because it’s all in the context of the story, but rather because it just seems to be low-down, sickening behavior. We get it. Ingrid’s supposed to be the one you’re rooting against and jealousy’s a beautiful motive, but it shows no growth in the writer’s room concerning her and very much exemplifies that just because a series is set in the future doesn’t guarantee its mindset is caught up.

Luke (Kevin Bigley) requesting to meet Karina to sniff out her character seems like an apt enough choice in the script. It was only a matter of time until it happened anyway. But why now? Last season was so beautiful between him and Aleesha (Zainab Johnson). I have absolutely nothing wrong with Aleesha having someone in the real world, in fact, she is damn deserving of it. However, a juicy setup for a love triangle seems to be shot down when Luke is referred to as a ‘friend’ by Aleesha. On second thought, is yet another love triangle what we really need at this juncture? The penultimate episode should be for all the pieces coming together so we can start to blow them up by the end of our season finale in the next episode, so any unlit sticks of dynamite plot-wise they happen to throw in now just kind of seem like last minute additions.

Speaking of, Nathan 2.0 thanks Ivan (Josh Banday) about the Choak drives, but mum’s the word… between the three. Oh, AI Guy (Owen Daniels) heard it all, and I like that they’re peppering in his expanding humanity. His unbridled desire to tell a secret is enough fuel to propel the scene, in spite of otherwise milquetoast Ivan. I will say that Ivan’s exquisite garb in Lakeview is top-shelf, but even that just seems a glaring way to mask his character’s lack of depth. Josh Banday fucking owns the screen though when he’s on it, so no notes on the acting. He’s truly making lemonade.

Nora wants to make Nathan’s first Upload Day special, including breakfast, and a birthday-gram. Nathan knows you can only delay what’s coming, not eliminate it and as the universe would have it, Nora is called down by Holden (Kristine Cofsky) with a client getting cold feet. I’ll be honest; I eat this stuff up with a tablespoon, just shovel it into my brain, Upload. I love the inherent romance in tragic love. These outcomes you can usually spot from miles away only because they’ve been such an effective tool in storytelling for so long. Timing is so crucial in all of this and as sci-fi as this series is, time is the one uniting factor that makes this series effective in its immediacy. There are very few slow moments overall. The minutes forge on, whether the characters like it or not, and the constant chaos of life is something that could never be too out of reach for us as viewers to read as fiction. These grounding elements keep the clock ticking (and my mind guessing) as to how this will all play out.

The first hit of bad news comes when Choak’s shit is inadmissible by nature of being stolen property while Nathan is a no-go in the witness box because his mind’s owned by Horizen. With Nora still on the hook with Holden in her offices, this delay of celebration has kept me invested as I’m not even trying to think of when the cork will pop but how as he waits for his complimentary meal.

Having Luke set up a date for drinks with “Al” and Karina doesn’t seem out of place, and neither does Karina (Jeanine Mason) switching it to her private executive bar to display her power. Luke not capitulating to her pomp and circumstance but showing his hand by spilling the beans on his hacking ability was a great way to paint a target on his head. Oddly enough, as much as Luke is up there as one of my favorites, his dummkopf moments make a lot more sense than Ingrid’s. For those of you screaming at your screens, hear me out. I don’t care if Luke fucking served under Napoleon himself, even though he’s got a soldier’s heart and fight, him losing the awareness I’m okay with because it kind of would make sense. He ain’t on the battlefield anymore. Far as he’s concerned, this is goddamn Valhalla. He’s allowed to be a bit on the slower side as opposed to Ingrid, who still has a flesh-and-blood vessel in this constant battlefield of the real world. She ought to have a bit more self-preservation than someone who’s already lived their life on this mortal coil.

Ivan sweating a little in Lakeview because of the threat of AI outing him did absolutely nothing for me. It was a thread that went absolutely nowhere. Having Ingrid work in Lakeview because backup Nathan called her bluff didn’t do a damn thing for me either except throw another carrot dangled into the fire. The reason is that Ingrid’s defending of herself comes off as less of taking a brave stand and more of an explicit threat on “Nora’s behalf”, so the optics come off more as “I’m comfortably wreaking havoc in someone else’s name” than “You’ve affronted me and I’m going to verbally rip you a new one.” That’s some cold-hearted shit and if that wasn’t the intention, was a beat with the already comely Ingrid in the body of the also comely Nora weaponizing her sexuality against of bunch of IT nerds even fucking needed?

It’s a fake high. There is no growth, only static in the scene. You could have done anything else. Maybe I’m the dumb one here, but as much as Ingrid’s vapidity suited her well for a while, I’ve always suspected a smarter person on the inside, almost a Paris Hilton type… but the show’s failed us time and again with any depth to her.

If they wanted us to unequivocally rally around a pretty girl being chastised by IT nerds (which is so old-hat it ain’t even funny anymore when technology is so prevalent in our lives), “This is not the way.” Kids are smarter than you think, guys. Her Tiananmen Square moment seems more like a half-written attack on people who were disappointed in someone who couldn’t do her job. We don’t see her actually redeem herself on the remaining jobs. That could have been such a fucking stellar C plot. For a criminally underwritten part, Allegra truly sells what she’s given. The only difference between her and Ivan is I care about what the shit happens to her.

We wind down the episode with news of a surprise star witness as well as Holden offering Nora a job, surely a thread for next season, and get back to Lakeview with Nathan 2.0 wanting Ingrid to spill the beans. She doesn’t (what a shocker) and though this could have been another chance for her redemption, backup Nathan gives her a pass when the “L Word” is dropped. The more I think about it, the more it seems the show is making their relationship less and less meaningful with each passing deception.

The last few minutes of the episode play out in an almost arty way. It’s actually a glaring slow moment, which leaves me conflicted. On one hand, you have this beautiful dip in momentum, a moment of unbridled calmness and happiness. Honestly? Possibly the first real one I’ve seen this season. It’s meant to stand out for a reason so that the final moments of the episode play out in chaos.

I’m going to chalk this up to an unhappy U-Day, for reasons both intended and not. Who knows, maybe I’ll be duly impressed in the finale.

3.5/5 Stars.

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