The moment has finally arrived Splatoon faithful! The level cap will officially be raised from 20 to 50 on August 5! Along with the level cap, other improvements are also on the way.
Many gamers, including this writer, know that the addiction of Splatoon lies in the desire to unlock every piece of clothing and weapon in the game, and Nintendo knows it. To feed our hunger for inky destruction, the free update brings 40 new pieces of gear and two new weapons: the Slosher, which is basically a giant paint bucket, and a six-barreled mini-gun, better known in Inkopolis as the Splatling. It also brings two new game modes into the fray: Squad Battle and Private Battle.
Squad Battle allows gamers to play in ranked mode with friends on teams of two to four. Private Battles, on the other hand, are customizable matches that are open to eight players in a myriad of match setups of their choosing. This includes one versus one, two versus two, one versus three, and two versus four options. Now you can finally prove to your friends who has the most colorful combat.
August isn’t the end of the free Splatoon goodness. In a recent interview with Eurogamer, series creator Tsubasa Sakaguchi said that more is on the way (you can read our coverage on that very topic here). If you want to know what all the hype over this colorful arena shooter is about, make sure to read our Splatoon review here.
Have you reached the level cap and find yourself anxious for more? Will you be playing ranked matches with your closest friends? Let us know in the comments down below!
MR. ROBOT Season 1, Episode 5: “eps1.43xpl0its.wmv”
GRADE: B+
When we last left Elliot and “fsociety”, they were ready to lower the boom on Evil Corp by corrupting their climate control system, forcing their servers to overheat and crash. This episode sees this attack through — but fsociety finds that even the best laid plans have flaws or, as the episode refers to them, “exploits”.
The episode hits the ground running with Robot sending Elliot into the lobby because why the hell not? Elliot’s there, asking to go on a tour of the facility. They initially deny him even though Elliot tells them to look him up on the Internet. Elliot is supposed to be “Sam Sepiol”, an up and coming tech entrepreneur. After some insistence, “Bill”, a low-level employee looks his name up on Google where he finds a bunch of faked news articles and a full-on Wikipedia page about him. “Mobley has built up a reputation over the years with over 20,000 edits,” Elliot explains. Yesterday, I said Noah’s goofy hacking skills were ridiculous. This may have tied that.
In any case, Bill takes him on the tour — but Elliot needs to get to the server floor. Unfortunately, Bill’s not able to do that. At this point, Robot orders Elliot to completely mentally decimate Bill. Elliot’s unable to do so — at first — but then flashes back to moments in his childhood where his mother would berate him a verbally stomp him into the ground. He channels that and absolutely destroys Bill, telling him that he’s worthless and that, in the event of his death, nobody would attend his funeral. He tells Bill to get a supervisor, which Bill does, voice cracking and teary-eyed. Elliot tries to apologize but Robot screams in his ear not to do it, a moment which you really want to punch Robot for. The problem is that the supervisor is NOT the one fsociety did research on which means they have to scramble to fix the situation.
After dumping the new supervisor, Elliot attempts to navigate himself where he needs to go — only to bump into Tyrell Wellick — and it’s a whole new ballgame. The play between these two characters is always brilliant. Wellick invites him to lunch where he explains that regular people disgust him. This, after telling Elliot that two of the people he deals with fund ISS and the Palestinians against Israel. He mocks their waiter for being somebody who’s content with serving him salad on a daily basis. Elliot sits and listens to Wellick go on and on about what it takes to be a human being in his world, suspecting that Wellick’s eventually going to turn him in for his attacks against Evil Corp — and security guards eventually show up to complete that fantasy — but it isn’t to be. Elliot excuses himself to the restroom where he finds a line to the climate control through the janitorial supply closet. He connects the “Rasperry Pi” hack, only to run into Wellick again. He apologizes and we get an unsettling admission:
“I know you framed Tyler Colby,” he says. Elliot feigns ignorance — but Wellick doesn’t care about Elliot’s motivations or his ultimate revenge scheme because he believes himself to be above the racket of Elliot and fsociety. This is Tyrell Wellick, a man who lives the meme, “No fucks are given”. He’s a machine. There’s a great scene later on where Wellick and his wife are at a dinner party with Evil Corp’s new CTO and his wife. After the CTO gabs about his wine collection, Wellick turns to the CTO’s wife and asks how she could be with somebody who’s so boring. She excuses herself to the bathroom while Wellick’s wife ends up listening to the CTO’s drivel. Frustrated (and pregnant), she finishes her husband’s wine while Wellick visits the same bathroom the CTO’s wife is in. At first, his wife is offended that Wellick would even have the balls to do such a thing. She asks him what he wants. Wellick says nothing at all. The two just stare at one another. Suddenly, she slowly spreads her legs. He looks at what’s there and smiles. “Thank you for a lovely evening,” he snorts, and walks out. The moment is debatable in terms of meaning. Has Wellick found a weakness in the CTO’s wife? Did she take the power back by offering herself to him in such a lurid manner? What does this mean for the future of the position? We shall see.
In other developments, Angela’s done with Ollie and has moved to her father’s place. Her father lives alone, is “grizzled” (that word never gets old) and still loves saying things like “your boyfriend is a douche”. Turns out he’s a slave to the system, owing thousands in past due bills to Evil Corp in some manner. This makes things a bit interesting in that Angela might end up finding herself in the middle of Elliot’s world soon — if things work that way, that is. It turns out that the Dark Army (fsociety’s partners in this game) have ditched fsociety, sending Darlene into a whirling dervish. She’s ready to go it alone to “damage” Evil Corp. Mr. Robot, however, tells her that “damaging” them isn’t the goal. Completely destroying them is what they’re aiming for. Elliot eventually talks her down in a semi-poignant moment that sees Darlene at her most vulnerable, thus tying into the theme of this week’s show. Where does fsociety go from here?
Good show this week, if not a little marred by the goofy Hollywood hacking moments at the beginning and a plot that seems to have some false starts and stalls. They’re slowly losing the heavy-handed garbage they fell back on in the first few episodes, though the really lame “crossroads” analogy with Angela while she was out for her jog makes one want to punch a baby. Mr. Robot has remained consistently good.
Rick and Morty Season 2, Episode 1: “A Rickle in Time” Air date: July 26, 2015
It’s been over a year since the first season aired, but we finally have some more Rick and Morty in our lives. “A Rickle in Time” picks up directly after the season one finale, “Ricksy Business,” in which Rick throws a party with Morty and Summer, completely trashing the house. Rick freezes time just as Jerry and Beth return home, and he spends the time cleaning and bonding with his grandchildren. In “A Rickle in Time,” it’s revealed that the universe has been frozen for approximately six months, which has caused instability in time. Soon, any uncertainty in the their actions causes the universe to split into two realities (shown simultaneously in split frames), and the three are caught in a timeless purgatory as they attempt to fix the timeline. It’s an ambitious episode that hits on everything the show does best: an absurd sci-fi adventure, creative storytelling in the episode’s multiple split realities, and Rick’s horrible behavior and crazed genius (just barely grounded by his love for his family).
The conceit and scope of the premiere is particularly impressive, as the scenes depicting the split realities are displayed simultaneously on-screen, all with slightly different elements. Initially, Morty and Summer are standing in different positions, with slightly altered dialogue. However, the insanity quickly ramps up as more indecisions causes reality to split further, and eventually Rick finds himself engaging in an inter-dimensional gunfight with the different versions of himself with a time crystal-enhanced pistol. It’s almost overwhelming watching the number of realities doubling and trying to pick out the minute details in each frame, but the episode itself remains well choreographed and surprisingly cohesive.
The emotional core of the episode revolves around Morty and Summer’s insecurity, and the natural uncertainty of their tumultuous formative years. It’s the cause of the splitting realities, and exacerbated by Rick’s outwardly hostile and dismissive attitude towards them. Rick is particularly fed up with his grandchildren–most of the episode’s best lines are Rick’s scathing insults. There shouldn’t be any doubt that Rick is a fundamentally bad person, but ultimately his love for his family is also undoubtable. As they scramble to sync up the various realities to merge time back into a cohesive whole (at this point split into 64 versions), Rick is prepared to sacrifice himself to save Morty. A last-minute deus ex machina allows him to save himself as well, but it’s the thought that counts.
Rick and Morty have always excelled at providing nuanced depictions of its deeply flawed characters (Rick in particular), and not shying away from genuine portrayals of bad people. Villains aside, most depictions of “bad” characters or anti-heroes are quick to overcompensate by providing justifications or counterbalances, out of fear that the audience would dislike the character too much. Rick, however, is undoubtedly a horrible person. We like him because he’s a horrible person, and the singular thread that grounds him is his love for his family, which the show uses sparingly. Rick’s sacrifice is touching as he accepts his fate and appeals to Morty to “be better than [him],” but even then the show downplays his only redeeming character trait. He frantically and desperately prays to God for salvation, and once safe he triumphantly declares: “Yes! I did it! There is no God!” Afterwards, Morty only vaguely recalls that 1/64th of Ricks might have sacrificed himself for him, which Rick is quick to dismiss. The show is careful not to lean too hard on the, employing just enough to blunt the edge off of Rick calling his grandchildren pieces of shit.
The weak point of the episode is Jerry and Beth’s storyline, where they hit a deer with their car after getting ice cream, and Beth feels compelled to try to save it. She has something to prove, especially in the face of Jerry and others who suggest she’s “merely” a horse surgeon. It’s a weaker storyline with a fairly unremarkable conclusion, but the show is well aware of the fact, by having Rick point out that “they’re probably living it up in some pointless grounded story about their loveless marriage.” Despite the mostly forgettable subplot, the episode as a whole is carried by the strength of its bold, reality-splitting primary storyline. Rick is back and better (and worse) than ever!
“This better not be a bribe. If I find a single thing out of place in this house, my love of ice cream won’t save you.”
“Man, that guy is the Red Grin Grumble to pretending he knows what’s going on.”
“Now listen, I know the two of you are very different from each other in a lot of ways, but you have to understand, that as far as grandpa’s concerned, you’re both pieces of shit. Yeah, I can prove it mathematically. Actually, let me grab a whiteboard–this has been a long time coming.”
“And I honestly can’t tell you apart half the time because I don’t go by height or age, I go by the amount of pain in my ass, which makes you both identical.”
“That’s the difference between you and me. I’m certain, and you’re a walking burlap sack filled with turds!”
Last week, my review concluded with the sentence, “Ladies and gentlemen…we have a show.” It was the best of the series’ run so far.
This week, MTV’s “Scream” returns with “Aftermath” which gives us a show that feels like it’s trying so very hard not to revert to the incompetence of its blown start. For the most part, it succeeds. Kinda.
There’s still this bit of excruciating minutiae the writers refer to as “dialogue”:
BROOKE (crying): “You know, I don’t think I’m gonna make it through this Town Hall thing…none of this waterproof Mascara actually is.”
EMMA: “You can go a day without Mascara.”
BROOKE: “Riley had those insane long lashes…”
EMMA (crying): “I know…she never had to wear Mascara…”
EMMA (sobbing with her): “I know! I miss her, too!”
There’s now a Lakewood Murder App that allows students of Lakewood High to cast their vote for the next Murder Victim — and Brooke’s at the top the list. And, honestly, I’m fine with that, seeing as how she exists simply to push her nose up in the air and titillate viewers with the notion of underage sex. The student-teacher sub-plot is bad enough, now we have Brooke’s dad, the honorable Mayor Maddox, weirdly pawing at her while drinking a glass of Vodka for breakfast. And who can blame him for drinking? The cops are trying to figure out how last week went down. It turns out that Tyler’s burnt-up body was in the car — sans head. The Brandon James Mask was in the car as well, so all’s well that ends well according to the cops.
And just when you’re rolling up the newspaper to bat the show’s nose and yell, “BAD MTV! BAD!”, we get Noah with bags under his swollen, red, tear-stained eyes and Audrey comforting him with a nice bit of dialogue I think anyone who’s lost somebody close to their heart can relate with:
AUDREY: (walks into Noah’s gaming shop) “Hey…did you sleep here?”
NOAH: “If by ‘sleep’, you mean ‘stare numbly into space’, then, yeah. I slept.”
This is followed by Noah showing Audrey personal phone texts from Riley before she was murdered. Things like, “My Mom wants to know who’d win in a cage fight between Madonna and Lady GaGa,” and “Meet me at the football field,” the place where him and Riley shared their first kiss. He half-smiles as he looks through the texts. The look on his face is one of heartbreak and devastation.
This scene feels real. And, so, you put the newspaper down to watch “Scream”, a show that I’m ready to give a “TV Participation” certificate to if it just keeps me slightly interested for two minutes.
Thankfully, the crux of “Aftermath” deals with Emma getting a new gift from GhostyMcMeltFace: an old yearbook with a bunch of student photos cut out. The crown jewel of Emma’s recently acquired bit of would-be police evidence? Her father’s photo is completely scratched out with pen. There’s a single phrase written with red pen. It reads, “THE TRUTH LIES WHERE THE MASK WAS MADE.” She takes it Noah’s shop where he and Audrey get a look. Noah reveals that it might have something to do with Brandon James’ facial surgery at a now-defunct hospital since the killer’s mask “was made there and patients wore it to prevent infection”. His face lights up. He wants to go there! Emma tells them that they’re not going anywhere and leaves — but it’s a trick. She wants to go and needs Audrey’s help.
So they go to the creepy-ass hospital that actually looks well taken care of despite being “shut down for 6 or 7 years”. Brandon James actually has a “lair” complete with disturbing clues and things with possible fingerprints. I’d complain that Emma and Audrey should have called the cops since that would have probably helped blow the case open, but none of Lakewood’s police have the ability to solve a crossword puzzle, so whatever. Let’s sit and watch as they touch stuff and look impressed by the fact that “Brandon James” would make a kick-ass scrap-booker, the way he hangs the victims’ pictures in a little 3D carousel. That’s good.
Anyhow, the thing ends on a weird note. Noah predictably shows up at the hospital to check things out. The girls almost murder him with a crowbar-armed Audrey and stun gun-equipped Emma. They find a laptop full of folders with several names. They load the files on an SD card and run — but not before they accidentally find the head of Tyler on a shelf hidden underneath a Brandon James mask. Later, after the cops surround the place, scold the kids and take away what ever evidence they stole — except for the SD card which, as it turns out, is totally corrupt except for a single file.
After Noah goes through a considerable (and unnecessary) amount of trouble to crack the file, they find that it’s a video of Emma having sex with Will when she first lost her virginity. Also the file is executable and uploads to the entire school. And that’s how it ends.
THE GOOD
This great exchange between Audrey and Noah (respectively) at the game shop:
(Audrey takes Noah’s red Solo cup full of booze from him) “Drinking on the job is a new thing for you.” “They can’t fire me…I’m the only one who knows how to reset the router.”
The opening moments with all of Lakewood’s residents listening to Piper’s Murder Podcast was beautifully shot.
THE BAD (and really improbable)
Will and Jake’s weird underage videotape bribery ring. It just refuses to go away. What’s more, Will’s ready to revisit the scheme because he “got into Duke but can’t pay for it because his Dad won’t sign the Financial Aid forms.” No…that’s just…no.
The sheriff of Lakewood complaining about the upcoming civil suit by Riley’s parents for negligence. Fair enough. That’s gotta be stressful. Emma’s Mom sympathizing and telling him how he did the best job he could? Jesus. F’n. Christ.
“Tyler killing Riley” then driving his car into a nearby ravine while fucking headless. And the cops are like, “Welp, case closed.” I’m glad this isn’t a real police department. They make the cops in Ferguson look accountable.
The fact that The Killer “encrypted” files he/she wanted the group to find.
The file instantly transforming into an “executable file” and uploading itself to entire school. Sigh…
Are we really buying the story that a hospital that closed in 2008 (at the latest, according to Noah’s estimate) was making really creepy-looking face masks to “prevent the spread of infection for facial reconstruction patients”? Was the staff also performing blood-lettings and using flaming torches to navigate the corridors?
My reaction to the last half dozen bullet points:
THE UGLY
Danielle caught the last 20 minutes of this episode. She liked what she saw. She asked me if she could see the first 20 minutes. I showed her. She says, “Wow…they could have just started the episode from the point I did and it wouldn’t have made a difference.”
Season 1, episode 7: “Episode Seven” Original Air Date: July 24th, 2015
Last week on Dark Matter we got a glimpse into the back story of Four, Five, and Six, and this week in “Episode Seven” Three takes the spotlight. I said before in my advanced review of the series that Dark Matter feels a bit like Firefly 2.0. That isn’t an insult to the series because goodness knows we all love a solid space opera, but this week’s episode with guest appearance by Ruby Rose, felt especially Firefly-like, with stowaway passengers in stasis and betrayal from the least expected party.
Life on the Raza has been focused mainly on learning the history of the six crew members with the help of the Android. Sure, there have been a few guest appearances here and there but nothing notable to take away screen time from the main cast. However, “Episode Seven” introduced not one, but two new characters in the entertainment android Wendy and Three’s sickly lover in stasis, Sarah, and boy, were they welcome additions.
With Five finally learning to control her abilities, harnessing the memories of the other crew members, she learns the password to open the door that has haunted Three for so long. After learning that Sarah resides inside the room in stasis because of a deteriorating disease, it makes sense now that even subconsciously he’d be willing to blow himself to bits in order to get inside. Sarah’s introduction does wonders for everyone’s perception of Three because up until now he’s been crude, disgruntled, and downright violent. I must admit that I prefer his relationship with Two over the prospect of her being with One (because he annoys me), but even without the relationship with Two or even Sarah, Three has grown on me the most of the characters. I have a soft spot for the bad boys who become protective of their own. Watching him grow to care about Five the way the others do has been a highlight for me.
As sweet as Sarah’s reunion with Marcus (Three) was, the introduction of the entertainment android Wendy was about as bitter. I groaned watching One and Six ogle her abilities and then again when One let her teach him what it meant to “dunk the donut.” Don’t get me wrong, Ruby Rose played the part perfectly, with little head jerks and sharp arm movements to remind us that she was a computer program and not just a, well, prostitute. However, the Android’s jealousy was the best part of Wendy’s introduction, cycling through accents and listing off her own capabilities in an attempt to appeal to One and Six. It takes Five’s words of wisdom to get through to her to realize that Wendy is only the “new” thing and that they owe their lives to the naive but kind Android.
The episode culminates in a betrayal that maybe isn’t as shocking as I had you believe earlier, but like most of the problematic moments, the crew is split, forced to find a way around the issue, which they do in fairly easy fashion. If there’s one complaint I have about the show is that the issues faced by the crew never feel dire or tense to warrant any real concern. They solve the new problem of the week and then go about their day. That being said, I don’t expect, nor want, anything more dramatic from the show, as it keeps it closer to the light-hearted end of the spectrum. I don’t need every TV show I watch to be like Homeland or Game of Thrones each week. That’s exhausting. Besides, the end of “Episode Seven” was heartbreaking enough. I just hope that the emotion from Three’s loss carries through to later episodes.
TL;DR: One continues to be awkward around Two; Two proves again and again why she is the leader; Three is secretly a big softie and I love that; Four practices with sais; Five remains the best character on the with her lovable attitude and sweetness; Six eats some food; and the Android does a hell of a Jamaican accent.
Dark Matter airs on Syfy Friday nights at 10PM EST.
KILLJOYS -- "One Blood" Episode 106 -- Pictured: (l-r) Aaron Ashmore as John, Hannah John-Kamen as Dutch, Luke Macfarlane as D'Avin -- (Photo by: Steve Wilkie/Temple Street Releasing Limited/Syfy)
Killjoys Season 1, Episode 6: “One Blood” Air date: July 24, 2015 Grade: A-
Killjoys gets better week after week and this time we see more of the social discordance within The Quad as Dutch (Hannah John-Kamen), D’avin (Luke MacFarlane) and Johnny (Aaron Ashmore) get entangled in a black warrant for an old RAC agent who’s stolen from The Company.
Picking up from episode five, Dutch agrees to help Khlyen (Rob Stewart) one last time as long as he stays away from her and her team after. The two head over to the Keffree Tea House where Khlyen is all happy because they serve the tea he likes from back home. Dutch is having none of his “let’s reminisce like old times” shenanigans because the girl he knew died a long time ago. A couple of minutes into their tea time fun, her former tutor explains that she has a few seconds to find an item on a particular gentleman in the shop since he was just served a pot of deadly poison that would kill everyone inside in mere moments as well. Extreme much? A pissed off Dutch manages to find what the courier was hiding and gets out before passing out from lack of oxygen. Not sure if anyone else made it though (aside from Khlyen who seemed immune to the gas).
Back on the ship, D’avin is taking his frustrations out on a punching bag after spending the day with Pawter trying to get past the stem blockers that were tampering with his memories. In the last episode we found out that D’av’s deep dark secret was killing his whole squad without any idea why he did it. Dutch comments that maybe its time for a different doctor though the elder Jaqobis seems a wee bit hesitant, saying that Pawter’s being working hard. Dutch smiles back stating she’s heard. The duo’s relationship continues to be this mass of sexual tension where they are obviously attracted to each other but because they are partners/teammates they haven’t really been willing to act on it, YET. So they do their little semi-flirting dance until Johnny inevitably comes in to break the moment.
Speak of the devil, a super excited Johnny arrives bringing good news that they’ve been invited to participate in a black warrant. What is that you may ask? It is a competitive warrant where the top team wins and only the best are allowed to join. They head over to their favorite bar in Old Town where the private meeting is being held. We get to meet a few more Killjoys and you gotta appreciate the camaraderie. Except for Fancy Lee (Sean Baek) that is. Fancy was the other RAC agent that had tried to kill D’avin back in episode one and apparently nobody likes him. I say the character is your misunderstood lone wolf.
Pawter (Sarah Power) asks D’avin to chat for a second and she asks him about continuing his therapy sessions. He seems to have taken Dutch’s advice to heart though and thinks that it might be better for him to go to a specialist instead. Poor Pawter, you can see her internal freak out as she convinces D’avin to keep coming to her if she manages to find out who the mysterious Dr. Jaeger is using her connections. I kind of want to shake her and say you don’t need him or his issues! But I think Pawter may be suffering from savior complex. More on that later.
KILLJOYS — “One Blood” Episode 106 — Pictured: (l-r) Sarah Power as Pawter, Luke Macfarlane as D’Avin — (Photo by: Steve Wilkie/Temple Street Releasing Limited/Syfy)
Soon Turin arrives and begins the briefing. Their target turns out to be a retired RAC agent named Big Joe who’s stolen a valuable item from The Company. Since it would be terrible for business if it was discovered that one of their own has become an outright thief, the RAC is trying to contain it as best as they can. Midway, Dutch gets a call from Khlyen and she makes an excuse to leave the bar to meet him.
She hands over the courier’s small box and it turns out to be some kind of neural interface device. Her ex-tutor attaches it to her neck and now she’ll be able to talk to him as if they were in the same room. Super! But it also happens to have information on Big Joe’s last coordinates. As it turns out, Khlyen wants whatever was stolen too. He’s arranged for an unmarked ship to be available for Dutch to go after Joe on her own and then she is to deliver the goods back to him. Understandably the Killjoy is annoyed because that would mean going against her own team, but Khlyen is unbending. If she wants him to stay away from D’avin and Johnny then she has no choice but to do it his way. Dutch sends a message to the boys to start ahead without her as she grudgingly follows orders.
The brothers in the meantime meet with a familiar prisoner to ask him how to track Big Joe’s ship. Coren Jeers reluctantly helps them after Johnny cleverly explains how he’s emptying out Coren’s bank account. They get back to the ship without any word from Dutch when Fancy arrives, saying that he knows where their fearless leader went. In return he wants to hop a ride with them and split the prize money when they find Big Joe. Now it’s the Jaqobis’ turn to join up with a dude they highly dislike. Fancy spills that Dutch left on an unmarked ship two hours ago and guessed that she was getting Joe herself because of their personal history. Johnny agrees and tells D’av that they have to save her from screwing up.
Dutch gets to Big Joe’s ship first but it’s abandoned and she shortly gets shot. Khlyen is mentally there with her the whole time and he shows grave concern when she is injured. Still, the Killjoy isn’t easily stopped and tracks Joe down. They actually have a nice reunion with a little play fighting going on. The fun and games come to a end when Dutch gets serious and says that she just wants what he stole and he can leave in peace. The situation gets more complicated when a group of Leithan nationalists arrive and bring the two back to their headquarters/farm. Joe had actually stolen the item for them but had no idea what it did. It seems like nobody knows what the device is, except for Khlyen who isn’t telling.
KILLJOYS — “One Blood” Episode 106 — Pictured: (l-r) Luke Macfarlane as D’Avin, Hannah John-Kamen as Dutch — (Photo by: Steve Wilkie/Temple Street Releasing Limited/Syfy)
The Leithans are interrogating both of them after discovering the neural implant on Dutch. They think that she’s there to spy on them with reinforcements on the way. We now get a little history on the divide between the Leithans, Qreshi, and Westerlans. A long time ago the Qreshi declared that if people worked on Westerly long enough, after seven generations they would be granted land on Leith (which is a much nicer moon to live on btw). So now Leithans like them were pissed off that the Qreshi were going to give their ancestral land away because their farm wasn’t profitable. Their only solution? Armed struggle.
Help does finally come in the form of Fancy, Johnny and D’avin. They are able to find Dutch through Fancy’s bloodhound, a device that is able to pinpoint her location via DNA tracking. Mr. Lee gets even fancier when he uses a directional dart (of his own design) to incapacitate one of the Leithans on guard duty. D’avin meanwhile goes into the farmhouse to rescue Dutch. Damn fancy!
The Company weapon that everyone is after gets activated at last when one of the Leithans decides to use it to kill Joe. Unfortunately, the device vaporizes people based on DNA and the nationalists accidentally wipe themselves out save for one person. That guy had married into the family. The Killjoys bring Joe and the WMD back to Westerly where they are greeted like champions. Sadly it doesn’t end well for the ex-RAC agent after Company man Hills Oonan appears at the bar with a massive hangover. Turin and Oonan have a little chat where the other expounds on what their superiors won’t stand for. They come to an agreement and Joe’s warrant is upgraded to a kill order.
Before anyone else can make a move, Joe grabs Dutch’s gun and begs her to do it fast. The poor gal can’t make herself pull the trigger even though she knows there’s no way out for the mentor she actually cares about. Fancy does the deed instead as the self-appointed designated asshole. You can’t help but feel a for him after his earlier talk with Johnny. Fancy explained that his contribution to the RAC was being the necessary evil that would do the hard jobs that no one wanted, yet had to be done (example: kill your old buddy).
Let’s get back to Pawter for a second though. She’s been busy getting Oonan super drunk and then drugging him to get access to The Company’s system. She tries to find Dr. Jaeger that way but gets caught the next day after not clearing her history. Girl, what are you doing?? You are going to prison because of a boy. He’s not worth it!!! Pawter can’t believe she’s being arrested, claiming that her family will have his head. Except Oonan did a background check on her and supposedly none of her Qreshi relatives give a damn. Ouch.
Khlyen comes to see Dutch again to get the WMD but she doesn’t have it and they get into a tiff. He strikes her and she stabs him repeatedly in the gut (it has zero effect on him). The man doesn’t even begin to bleed profusely from the multiple stab wounds. Instead he gathers his lost composure and apologizes for hitting her. When she asks him again why he’s come to The Quad, he repeats that he’s there to retrieve her. We do learn from their exchange that Khlyen is working for someone else and that he/she must be powerful. Dutch finally realizes that her ex-tutor isn’t going away and that she needs help. At the end of the episode she opens up to the brothers about her predicament and asks Johnny to track Khlyen through the neural transmitter. Her steely determination wins out over fear as she decides that she’s going to somehow kill the man once and for all.
Final thoughts:
Pawter is pretty crazy. She has no qualms on making you think she’s injected you with a lethal poison and she’ll drug you.
Fancy is growing on me big time (ok he’s my new favorite character), he’s the lone wolf you can’t help but secretly respect!
Maybe Khlyen is a human-android hybrid. That’s why he doesn’t age, is immune to poisons, and doesn’t die from stabbing.
Dutch grew up in a harem, an assassin harem! Must know more…
Good news, wasteland wanderers! More information about this year’s most anticipated game has come out of Quakecon 2015. Bethesda brought new details surrounding Fallout 4 through artwork, screenshots, video, and a brief game demo. They even gave all attending press members free PIPBOY masks to mark the occasion. (I wonder what those will sell for on eBay over the next few hours?)
Bethesda’s Todd Howard took to the stage to dish out new details. First, they discussed a few of the different companions that will join you through your new adventure. Dogmeat, the faithful canine companion introduced at E3, was shown in more detail. He will be the first companion that you find when first stepping out of the vault and will be able to fetch items for you as you do other tasks, such as hacking computers. They also showed a brief video of one of the game creator’s dogs, whom they filmed for the inspiration of Dogmeat in the game.
The next companion was introduced through in-game artwork. His name is Preston Garvey and he is the leader of The Commonwealth Minute Men faction in Concord, Massachusetts. Little else is known about the character, but I’m looking forward to finding out more this November.
The third companion shown was a woman by the name of Piper. Dressed in a red leather jacket, and donning an old school paperboy hat, Piper can be found in Diamond City. Diamond City used to be known as Fenway Park, but has recently gone through some… renovations after the bomb fell. Piper’s key attribute is that she can lie her way out of any situation.
The final companion mentioned was the robotic Mr. Handy. Many know Mr. Handy from previous games in the series, as well as from the recent E3 footage. They mentioned that Mr. Handy was modeled both internally and externally in case he meets an…. untimely demise.
Todd Howard mentioned that there will be 12 companions in all throughout the game. He also said that all companions will be romance-able, regardless of gender. Who are you planning to woo and seduce in your time in the Wasteland? Who would make the perfect companion?
One major draw of Fallout, and one that adds to the replay-ability of the series, are perks. Fallout 4 will feature 72 different perks that can be manipulated into 275 different combinations. These perks will change depending on decisions you make in the game, as well as which companions you choose to keep in tow.
Finally, Bethesda announces that Fallout Shelter will be gracing Android devices on August 13. This version will include new features, such as several new enemies types and Fallout 4 characters, as well as Mr. Handy, who will collect coins so you don’t have to. Don’t worry iPhone users; This content will be added through an update on the same day as the Android release.
Fallout 4 will be released on PC, Playstation 4, and Xbox One on November 10, 2015. Now we just need to sit back and wait. It will be a very long, excruciating wait…
Are you ready for more Fallout? Or are you over the whole open world experience? Let us know in the comments down below!
Season four of Veep was the final season for creator and showrunner Armando Iannucci (David Mandel will be showrunner starting next season), and he couldn’t have gone out on a brighter note. After a surprise resignation, Selina Meyer finds herself ascending to the highest office in the land in the midst of her own presidential election campaign. The season reaches transcendent heights of absurdity and chaos as Selina and her foul-mouthed, incompetent team of horrible human beings scramble to avoid serving one of the shortest presidential terms in history.
Selina’s presidency changes the show’s dynamic quite a bit. The cast has grown, adding Sam Richardson as the dim-witted but overeager Richard Splett (it’s amazing how many unique variations of idiot this show manages to produce), Diedrich Bader returns as Bill Ericsson, Patton Oswalt guest stars as VP Doyle’s chief of staff, and Hugh Laurie signs on as Selina’s popular new running mate Tom James.
The stakes have never been higher, and the pressure begins to take its toll on Selina and her staff. The result is a tense, hilarious season filled with scrambling, scandals, and scapegoating. Veep’s signature rapid-fire wit and scathing banter are present in all their glory, amplified by the frustration and desperation of all its characters. The panic and chaos is palpable as members of Selina’s team face meltdowns, breakdowns, congressional committees, and probably imprisonment.
People quit…
Mike and Gary get stranded in Tehran…
And Tom James joins what may very well be a sinking ship.
The digital edition releases this week, and special features include the season four trailer, a visit to the set with Armando Iannucci and Julia Louis-Dreyfus discussing the expanded scope of the season, and a “would you rather” segment where the cast debates things like taking Gary to prom or whether you’d want to be stuck on a desert island with Ben.
Veep is best known for its incredible dialogue and comedy, but the final moments of season four is the beating heart that makes it one of the best series on television.
I don’t like spoilers, so this review of “A Nest of Vipers” is as spoiler-free as possible.
If you’re feeling the loss of Game of Thrones during the off-season, I would like to remind you that Telltale has a game of the same name to ease your pain. Or really, to bring you more pain. The fifth episode of Telltale’s Game of Thrones series, “A Nest of Vipers” is the most Thrones-like yet with unexpected character deaths a plenty. In typical Telltale fashion, they don’t hold back any of the gruesome bits, so I hope you have tissues handy.
When we left off in episode four of Thrones, Mira had made a bit of a scene at Tommen’s coronation party, Asher successfully infiltrated Meereen for the Mother of Dragons, Rodrik interrupted an unexpected dinner party with Ramsay Bolton, and Gared found out Cotter is an even bigger liar than previously believed. The fifth episode follows on the heels of all these events, but moves at a much faster pace than any of the previous storylines. With only one episode remaining, such haste is to be expected, and I for one, am excited to see how this story plays out. And yet, there’s so much left to wrap up I’m not sure how Telltale will tie this knot in a satisfying unless they murder everyone or continue the story in a second season.
That being said, Gared’s story seems to have petered out when compared to the other three, so I am hoping he is the first to leave the series. Maybe it’s because he isn’t actually a Stark Forrester or maybe it’s because he seems to be following in Jon Snow’s footsteps, but I can’t find his arc engaging whatsoever. He’s too far away from the other characters to make a difference in the overall story at hand (and that’s saying something considering Asher is in Meereen) and he’s clueless. By the end of his segment I kept hoping he’d accidentally catch a spear with his face. Thankfully, his part in the episode was also the shortest.
Luckily for fans, the other three character arcs are as solid as they’ve been since the first episode. And for the first time since the first episode I felt like my decisions mattered. The biggest qualm gamers seem to have with Telltale games is the illusion of choice, rather than actual decision-making in the world, and while I’ll agree that’s true in Game of Thrones, episode five pulled together all those lose strings of shunned parties and tied them into a noose. How you treated Beshka, Tyrion, Cersei, and Elaena in previous episodes all came to a head in the fifth episode, either granting you extra resources, troops, or just putting you in an even more difficult position in King’s Landing because I HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO PLAY MIRA. Worst case scenario: the way you play may lead to certain main character deaths. I have hopes that the final episode will come down to how you played throughout, whether or not you were able to acquire enough aid to save House Forrester.
Clearly, I made Elaena happy.
This episode also had the most action of any Thrones episode yet, culminating in an epic pit fight for Asher’s life. I enjoyed the fight for the simple fact that it was more than the usual, “Mash three keys and then talk for an hour” routine. As much as I enjoy the story, it’s nice to have that change of pace every so often and it’s fitting that Asher, AKA the best character in the game, fill that role.
As the episode came to a close, with armies finally uniting and making an impact, I was reminded of a Ramsay Bolton quote from the TV series, “If you think this has a happy ending then you haven’t been paying attention.” That much is also true for the game and I’m starting to wonder if anyone in the world of Ice and Fire will ever get that happy ending.
In a swerve worthy of infamous creative booker, Vince Russo, WWE announced the release of Terry Bollea, better known to the world as wrestling mega-star Hulk Hogan.
Hogan is currently embroiled in a $100 million dollar lawsuit with Gawker Media over their release of a video tape from 2006, showing Hogan having sex with Heather Cole, the wife of radio personality “Bubba, The Love Sponge”.
Hogan seemed to have WWE’s unwavering support throughout the ordeal — until now.
Sealed transcripts of the tape’s contents have been leaked by The National Enquirer and Radar Online, purporting to show Hogan declaring himself to be “racist to a point” while referring to black people as “fucking n***ers”. The remarks are in reference to a “black billionaire” who promised to fully fund the singing career of Hogan’s daughter, Brooke. According to the transcripts, Hogan complains about Brooke’s relationship with the man:
“I don’t know if Brooke was f*cking the black guy’s son,”
“I mean, I don’t have double standards. I mean, I am a racist, to a point, f*cking n*ggers. But then when it comes to nice people and sh*t, and whatever.”
“I mean, I’d rather if she was going to f*ck some n*gger, I’d rather have her marry an 8-foot-tall n*gger worth a hundred million dollars! Like a basketball player!
“I guess we’re all a little racist. Fucking n*gger.”
Despite the fact that the transcripts are part of a group of sealed court documents, both outlets stand by the authenticity of what they’re reporting. The Enquirer stated that an “an extensive news probe uncovered five independent sources who provided the dramatic contents of the tape to this publication.”
Meanwhile, wrestling fans woke this morning to a WWE organization without Hulk Hogan: the company has wiped nearly every reference to him from the official site. He’s no longer listed as a Hall of Famer or a WWE Alumni. All of his merchandise was taken offline as well.
Following this, Hogan released this cryptic Tweet on his Twitter page:
In the storm I release control,God and his Universe will sail me where he wants me to be,one love. HH
Several news outlets reached out to WWE — who remained silent on their reasoning for the erasure. Because of this, fans rushed to find their own answers, initially speculating that the deletion was because of an XM Radio interview Hogan gave for DJ Whoo Kid’s Whoolywood Shuffle back in 2012.
In the interview, Hogan recalls the famous WCW TV spot where wrestling personality, Booker T inadvertently called Hogan a “n***er” and then revealed that Booker and several other black personalities would start call him “n***a” backstage as a joke.
Hogan would go on to reflect on his time in Miami when he’d bump into famous rappers:
“And everybody down there—Lil Wayne, Birdman—they’re all calling me ‘nigga,’ and then I started sayin’ it. And I always said it, but now all of a sudden I get heat when I say it, and they say, ‘Hogan, you can’t say that,’ so I say, ‘Why can they say it to me then?’”
In response to the uproar, DJ Whoo Kid posted this statement on his personal Facebook:
About two hours after The Enquirer and Radar released the transcripts, WWE finally made a statement about Hulk Hogan to US Weekly:
“WWE terminated its contract with Terry Bollea (aka Hulk Hogan). WWE is committed to embracing and celebrating individuals from all backgrounds as demonstrated by the diversity of our employees, performers and fans worldwide.”
TMZ, who also claims to have seen the tape and confirms the authenticity of The Enquirer and Radar’s transcripts, says that WWE did not terminate his contract and that Hogan resigned from WWE late Thursday night.
A few hours after the story broke and WWE had announced the separation, Hulk Hogan finally released a statement to People Magazine, saying the following:
Eight years ago, I used offensive language during a conversation. It was unacceptable for me to have used that offensive language; there is no excuse for it; and I apologize for having done it. This is not who I am. I believe very strongly that every person in the world is important and should not be treated differently based on race, gender, orientation, religious beliefs or otherwise. I am disappointed with myself that I used language that is offensive and inconsistent with my own beliefs.
…this sudden case of moral aggrandizing from WWE comes about because Gawker leaked yet another sex tape with Hogan, which not only showed him to be an adulterer, but now also a racist…Hogan used the N-word multiple times while talking to or about his daughter…putting aside the nature of the comments and Hulk’s questionable parenting skills there, it does seem a tad hypocritical for WWE to fire someone by taking the moral high ground over racism. For as much as they claim diversity now, they don’t exactly have a good track record of positive portrayals of other “backgrounds.”
The release of the transcript is already creating a ripple effect in WWE. According to a report from US Weekly, Hogan will no longer be featured as a judge on USA Network’s “Tough Enough” and his much-rumored match with John Cena at WrestleMania 32 is in jeopardy.
Splatoon is one of the best new IP’s to come out of this generation so far. It’s full of family-friendly characters and atmosphere, but don’t let that fool you; its brimming with hardcore competition (Editors note: for more details you can read James’ review for the game here). Splatoon is a game where I often find myself saying “just one more match”, which eventually turns into 10 more, but is Splatoon too addictive?
In a recent interview with Eurogamer, Splatoon creator Tsubasa Sakaguchi said that he and his team were quite surprised at how quickly users were reaching the games level cap of 20.
“When we were designing Splatoon, reaching level 20 was going to take quite a lot of time. Learning the game mechanics with the gyro sensor – we thought that would take a lot of time. In that sense we’re surprised that people have reached the level cap in such a short time. We’re actually really worried about those people – worried that they’re still sleeping and eating!”
With so many players already reaching the level cap, people are wondering if the cap will ever be raised. While Sakaguchi didn’t give a direct answer, he did hint at the possibility.
“We recognize that a lot of people have reached level 20, and that there’s not much left to do in the game. There’s not much I can announce today, but I hope you can look forward to some future announcements.”
One of the main complaints from fans of Splatoon, besides the lack of voice chat, is the inability to make a team with friends. Currently you can join friends games, but the teams and stages are always randomized. Have no fear Inklings! The ability to create games, as well as additional levels, weapons, and content, will all be coming with a major update in August.
In the interview, Sakaguchi said that some players switch away from the gyroscope controls, to a more traditional twin stick control scheme, but he hopes players will give the new option a chance.
“About 70-80 per cent of players are using the gyro controls. That’s not to say we’re forcing it on to them. From our point of view, we think that the gyro controls are the best way to play Splatoon, the reason being there are two main movements you need for a shooter. One is moving the body, the other is aiming where you’re shooting. In that sense, we think for Splatoon the gyro gives that subtle movement and more precise actions to be able to really experience the game in a much better way.”
Lastly, Sakaguchi and his team hope that Splatoon will be an IP that will carry on for many generations. With the low hardware sales of the WiiU, and the dawn of the NX slowing coming upon us, I really do hope that as many people as possible get a chance to experience this unique online shooter in the future.
“We’re extremely happy about the response we received from everyone, but we feel it’s just the start. Splatoon, our main goal, is for the people who are currently playing, when they become adults, to pass it on to their children.”
Are you a fan of Splatoon? Are you still playing this additive shooter? Or did you stop after hitting the level cap? Let us know in the comments down below!
Season 6, Episode 7: “Brother, Where Art Thou”
Air Date: Tuesday, July 21, 2015
In this week’s episode of Pretty Little Liars, Hanna performs minor surgery on the girls, Emily gets her mack on, and Charles throws himself a very weird birthday party.
Spencer and Aria huddle around their laptop watching YouTube videos on how to remove a microchip from a puppy when a phone rings. Aria starts rubbing her neck, wondering if that is where the ringing came from. I have no words for Aria right now. In positive Aria news, she has decided her Doll Phase (which she compares to Picasso’s blue phase) is over and she is going to throw away all her dolls.
After Aria leaves, Toby stops by fresh from the police seminar he was attending. Seriously, a police seminar? That may be the best excuse PLL has ever concocted to explain a character’s absence. Spencer doesn’t want to lie to Toby about everything that is going on, so she tells him she is going to Aria’s to work on her Valedictorian speech, and then heads to The Brew to hang with Hanna. While at The Brew, Spencer gets a call from Ali. Ali explains that she has been MIA because her dad received a death-birthday card from Charles, and then took himself and his daughter off the grid. Jason wouldn’t run away with them though because he is determined to meet his non-imaginary friend/ older brother. While Spencer is on the phone with Ali, Sabrina the stoner baker saunters by and slips some gummy edibles into Spencer’s bag.
Hanna walks down in the morning about to scurry off for breakfast when Ashley hands her a cash filled box of lasagna for Hanna’s college tuition. Just kidding, lasagna money is so Season One. What Ashley really hands Hanna is a check for thirty thousand dollars courtesy of the Carrasimi Group. Hanna is suspicious when her mom lets it slip that Jason suggested she apply for the scholarship and that the DiLaurentis’ used to donate to that firm After some online sleuthing, she discovered that Carrasimi is the same investment group that paid to shut down Radley. Spencer is convinced that Carrasimi is actually a front company to Charles’ bank account.
Sara’s ‘friend’ Claire shows up at the Brew looking for Emily, in hopes that she can reconnect with Sara. At first Emily is suspicious, but decides that she is okay with Sara interacting with another character on the show. Sara isn’t sure if she wants to see her old friend, but she warms up to the idea when Emily offers to be her escort. The two proceed discuss their kiss from the previous night and Sara isn’t sure if she dreamed the kiss or if it was real. Oh man, I wish I could wake up from a dream of kissing Emily and have it be real.
But then Sara says one of most disturbing lines of the episode or maybe even the series. She says “I’ve had enough pretend kisses. This was my first real kiss in three years.” Is she insinuating that Charles forced Sara to kiss him in the Dollhouse? Did Charles molest all of the girls, or just Sara, who he forced to act and dress like his sister? How is this line said and overlooked so easily? Emily doesn’t blink an eye by Sara’s comment and tells Sara they should probably slow down and try to figure out what they individually want.
When Emily and Sara arrive at the countryside milk and cookie shop Sara immediately reconnects with her old friend. While Claire fills Sara in on all the dirt and drama she missed out on while being kidnapped for three year, Emily is delegated to be the third wheel and is forced to awkwardly people watch. As they are about to leave, Claire invites Sara to stay over at her house, possibly for an extended period of time and Emily goes into full-on protective, jealous girlfriend mode. She comes up with a hundred reasons for why Sara cannot stay with Claire, and whenever Claire tries to counter, Emily shoots her right back down. Jealously really doesn’t look good on Emily.
After the meeting though, Sara decides that she is going to go live with Claire so she and Emily can start dating. She reasons that if she and Emily don’t live together they can go on real dates, eat food not prepared by Mrs. Field’s, and they can make out some more. I am with Sara until that last point. I am pretty sure it is a lot easier to sleep with someone when you literally sleep in the same room as them.
The Gang
Now that Sara has moved out, Emily attends her first Scooby meeting in god knows how long and gets caught up on the day’s shenanigans.
The meeting turns into a battle of the competent liars (Spencer and Hanna) versus the liars with their heads up their asses (Aria and Emily). Spencer and Hanna lay out their plan to catch Charles. First, Hanna will surgically remove the microchips from the liars’ necks and leave the chips at Spencer’s house, so A thinks they are at home (every week I think that I can’t possibly love Hanna more, and then she does something like pull out a semi-sterile suture kit). Second, they will follow Jason using the GPS Hanna planted on his car. Emily doesn’t think it will work due to the fact that A pretty much has superpowers, which to Em’s credit is kind of a valid point. Then Aria makes the always smart suggestion of telling the Rosweood PD what is going on and letting them handle it. Aria needs to stop talking this season. Everytime she does, her lack of any common sense physically hurts me.
Spencer compromises with Aria, they will let Toby in on their plan because he is trustworthy and he is a cop. When Spencer tells Toby the plan he applies the new skills he learned at his week long police seminar and tries to act all cop like wanting to do everything by the book. When will people realize you can’t do something by the book when you are dealing with Charles. Spencer uses her sexy Spencer voice to talk him down, he agrees to play by the liars rules, and grabs some special gummies from Spencer’s bag on his way out.
The liars follow Jason’s GPS signal to a creepy abandoned playhouse, full of rows and rows of pinball machines. Just as Jason is about to finally meet and talk to his brother, Toby and Lorenzo barge in, ruining the brotherly bonding moment and spooking Charles. Charles turns on all of the arcade lights to distract the cops and Toby, who has been shoveling Spencer’s edible gummies into his mouth all night, starts tripping balls. I mean he is hardcore tripping and the flashing lights and loud carnival noises do nothing to help.
When Jason gets home, he is livid. All he wanted to do was meet his older brother, who was kept away from him for all these years. Yes, Charles tried to kill his sister, and yes he tortured and kidnapped six girls, but it was his right to meet his brother! Ali tries to console but is distracted when the two hear voices upstairs. When they get to the attic, an old home video of their second cousin Freddie’s birthday party is playing. The two siblings realize that Freddie wasn’t their second cousin, he was their brother!
So to quickly recap A=Charles=Freddie. Get it? got it? Good!
Hanna Quotes of the Week:
Hanna: Except now we have hardware in our necks. God, we’re like cyclops. Spencer: Cyborgs Hanna: I’m pretty sure it’s pronounced cyclops.
Questions:
Remember when the IRS was supposed to be on the case, shouldn’t they have figured that Carrasimi was laundering Charles’ money before two high schoolers did?
Why are all of Charles’ childhood videos shot on old school projector film? He grew up in the 90’s, weren’t home videos were shot on VHS by then?
Why did Charles waste all this money on chipping the liars when all you need to do to find one is wait at The Brew?
In an interesting move, Nintendo has decided to partner with Facebook to help promote the launch of the much anticipated Super Mario Maker on September 11, 2015. Nintendo announced on their Twitter account yesterday that the promotion will be through a special “Hackathon” contest for Facebook employees.
“Nintendo is partnering with Facebook to celebrate the launch of #SuperMarioMaker! (1/2) Facebook employees will design levels in the game in a competition, w/ one level available to download for free after launch. (2/2)”
Each employee will be given a chance to create their own levels within the new Nintendo title. The entries will then be voted on by Nintendo and Facebook to crown the winner. The winning level will then appear in the final game.
After the Twitter announcement, Nintendo sent out a press release giving more detail on the contest:
“Hackathon events are a unique element of the Facebook company culture, and an opportunity for employees to pursue a project outside their day-to-day responsibilities to rapidly create something that interests them. The Super Mario Maker hackathon is exclusively for Facebook employees to design a special level in the game. At the event, participants will be using the demo version of the game that drew rave reviews at the recent E3 video game trade show to create levels using the in-game tools that will become available to a wider audience when the game launches exclusively for Wii U on the 11th of September.
The event will culminate with designers presenting their creations to a panel of judges from Nintendo and Facebook. The winning individual or team has the opportunity to make the level available for Super Mario Maker owners to play after the game’s launch. Nintendo will be making a video series documenting the event available for fans to view shortly after the event concludes, and fans can also check in to Nintendo’s social media channels on July 28 and July 29 for live updates.”
I find it odd that all voting will be conducted by Nintendo and Facebook employees only. I feel it would have been much more enjoyable and exciting for gamers and fans to vote on the winner, but this isn’t the first time I didn’t agree with Nintendo’s decisions. One thing we can all agree on: More levels for Super Mario Maker is always a good thing!
Are you excited for the upcoming release of Super Mario Maker? Do you think Nintendo should have handled this content differently? Let us know in the comments down below!
Total Divas Season 4, Episode 3 – “Eat Your Heart Out” Air Date – July 21, 2015
(By danielle stolman w/ Matt Perrii)
Last week, the Divas came to our hometown of San Jose, California as WrestleMania 31 was right around the corner at Levi’s Stadium. Even with the fun and games came the usual drama: Paige couldn’t find a dress for the Hall of Fame. She met a huge fan of hers at Santana Row who inspired her to fix her eating disorder. Nattie spent a great deal of time worrying over her Dad after he threw a tantrum at a treatment center. And the Divas are still pissed at Eva Marie for being NOT IN FLORIDA!!!
How much angrier can the Divas be at Eva? Will Jim Neidhart make a full recovery? WILL WE GET TO SEE MORE OF SAN JOSE?!
Let’s find out…
We start out with the newest bit of Diva wisdom, this time from Nikki “Confucius” Bella:
SAN JOSE, CA
We’re still doing this, are we?:
(MATT: OUR Golden Gate Bridge is way better than the one in San Francisco.)
Takai Sushi & Saki Bar (inside of The Fairmont Hotel, San Jose) Eva and Jon come down to the lobby and run into Daniel Bryan, Nikki and Brie who are eating. They exchange pleasantries and The Bellas invite Eva and Jon to stay and eat something. Eva’s really weirded out and confused as two minutes ago, the Bellas were ready to remove Eva’s head from her neck. Jon asks if anyone’s seen Levi’s Stadium yet. The Bellas haven’t but they’re dying to see what it looks like. There’s a long, uncomfortable silence. Time goes by. Everyone finishes up. Brie’s getting a bit loaded on champagne, glances over at Eva and rolls her eyes. Nikki looks concerned and starts to awkwardly start some conversation directly to Eva. Brie interrupts and yells at their waiter for the check. Nikki wants to have lunch with Eva. Eva accepts, telling the camera that, hopefully, this lunch meeting will smooth everything over. Brie, on the other hand, says she “knows the type of person Eva Marie is” and says she doesn’t need Eva as a friend. Neither does Nikki. (MATT: It’s weird that Brie’s angry about Eva lying about not being in Florida on a show that’s lying about the Golden Gate being a part of our city.)
Silicon Valley Capital Club for WWE Superstars for Hope
(MATT: The Capital Club?! Shit, aren’t they the fuckin’ Kennedys…) WWE’s various stars are here for the charity event, “Superstars for Hope”. Steph and Triple H are here as well. Nikki says she “always wants to keep the locker room in order”. (MATT: Like the time she bitched behind Eva’s back and helped gang up on her backstage. That was expertly handled.) She says she can tell Eva is being distant. Naomi hands Nattie a drink. Nattie winces, saying it’s “a little sweet”. Naomi gives her a “WTF is wrong with you” look. (MATT: She almost bought a butt-plug for her cat to play with. There’s a lot wrong with Nattie.) Nattie asks Eva how she’s doing. Eva talks about the sushi meal with the Bellas and says that Nikki says she wants to talk. Nattie agrees that this is the best course of action. (MATT: YES! LET’S TALK ABOUT THIS SOME MORE!!!) Naomi calls what happened to Eva an “ambush” and says that that lunch with Nikki’s a “set-up”. Eva and Jon laaaaaugh. Nikki’s getting bombed outside on the deck overlooking San FranJose. Eva says that Nikki’s the top girl and should be setting an example.
The Farmer’s Union (Restaurant) Man…this continues to be awesome. Matt and I have eaten there before Sharks games. Anyhow, Nikki, Brie and Daniel are having dinner.Brie’s having more booze. (MATT: I don’t think there’s been a shot of her without a champagne glass in this episode.) Brie wants to be pregnant. Nikki wants Brie to stay, then wonders where she will be next year. Daniel Bryan: “Alone.” Nikki sarcastically thanks him for his answer and asks the two of them if they even care about her and her need to “have a baby”. (MATT: WHAT?! Didn’t we already go through this?) Brie and Bryan say no. Bryan tells Nikki it’s her own fault. Nikki’s indignant and asks Bryan to clarify that. Bryan says that John has already said he doesn’t want kids. Nikki chose to stay with him anyhow. It doesn’t matter, he says. “For the betterment of our species, John needs to mate with somebody who is super athletic and super intelligent.” Nikki’s insulted by this and says she’s sooooo intelligent, claiming that she got a “3.2 GPA in high school”. Brie remembers it being a “2.8”. Bryan laughs. Nikki says that Brie should talk: she put her name in the wrong box on her SAT’s. Brie confirms this and says they “docked her 100 points for that”. For some reason, Bryan finds this to be high comedy. (MATT: RUN, DANIEL, RUN!)
1 DAY UNTIL WRESTLEMANIA…
The Fairmont Hotel Nattie meets Alundra Blayze/Madusa in the lobby. Nattie’s inducting her into the WWE Hall of Fame and she’s excited because Blayze was awesome and kicked ass. Nattie says she wants to do Blayze justice.
Meanwhile, Mama Bella meets Nikki and Brie inside one of the conference rooms, presumably. They’re getting their hair and make-up done. Nikki says she’s gonna talk to Eva to see if they can sort things out. Her Mom is happy to hear that some diplomacy is in the works because the Divas are around each other 24/7 (MATT: Dressing…undressing…knitting exciting underwear…). Brie says it’s funny because Eva hasn’t been “around” at all. She’s been gone for 8 months. She keeps interrupting her Mom to make wise cracks about Eva and her Mom tells her to be quiet. Brie’s not having it and tells the camera she’s done with Eva Marie. Nikki says it sucks because everything’s so different now. She says to fix this and not listen to Brie.
Eva comes into the conference room with Nikki. Eva’s hair’s all done up and Nikki loves it. Layla hangs out, getting her hair and make-up done as well. Nikki and Eva go into another room. (MATT: This is painful. Here’s a snippet of the “conversation” to give you an idea:)
“We haven’t gotten to talk to you…since, like…all the drama…”
“I know! It’s been, like…huh?”
Nikki says that people have been going crazy because Eva thinks she’s above everyone else. (MATT: “And I’m just, like, here, like, to, like, drag you back to, like, our level.”) Nikki tells the camera that she came to get this fixed but Eva “is portraying herself as the victim (MATT: She is.) and, like, WHOA, what a bitch!” Nikki starts insulting Eva, saying she “isn’t a wrestler and nobody thinks of her as a wrestler. (MATT: This is darkly ironic.) Eva can’t even get a word in edgewise. Nikki says that’s why they don’t “talk about her or worry about her”. (MATT: Which is why Nikki’s worried about her…wait…what?) Eva says she’s been busting her ass and she says that Nikki should be setting the tone and not dragging everyone through the mud. She says Nikki’s just worried because she knows Eva can eventually get to the top. Nikki says you “can’t win the Divas Title in six months”. (MATT: “Only Paige and AJ can do something like that!”) Nikki calls Eva “comical” and tries to shift blame. Eva says that’s far from what she’s doing. Nikki disagrees and says, “I’m not stupid.”
(MATT: And I’m like…)
Nikki continues to browbeat her, then leaves the conversation and tells Eva to “figure it out”. Eva stands there, baffled, and says she is figuring it out. That’s what she’s been doing. Eva says Nikki came to her and that’s why she’s here. Nikki says that Eva thinks she’s a “bad champion”. Eva says that’s not what she said at all. Nikki tells Eva she’s “done” with her. They both go their separate ways. Eva takes off her mic equipment and tells the TD Production crew that she’s “done”.
Nikki goes back to her room and whines to Brie about things, saying she “almost punched Eva in the face”. She recaps everything for Brie and tells Brie she’s right. Brie: “That’s actually comical.” Nikki starts portraying herself as a victim and even turns on the waterworks, saying that she “means so much as a champion”. (MATT: She’s convinced half the locker room to get fake boobs.) Brie is upset that he sister is (MATT: Fake crying.) crying and says that Nikki is the best champion ever. She says that “people bullied Nikki online for her weight”. (MATT: No, they didn’t. It was one guy saying that Nikki was “phat”.)
Suddenly, it’s MAMABELLAOUTOFNOWHERE. She asks what’s going on. And the recap begins AGAIN. (MATT: Jesus christ…I’m gonna go make a sandwich…tell me when they stop recapping the same thing, ok?) Brie calls Eva an idiot and walks off like a spoiled child.
SAP Center for the WWE Hall of Fame
Backstage Nattie’s getting her make-up done and tells the make-up artist about how her Dad is making her crazy with demands. He wanted to wear a pink tie tonight so she had to go find one. She calls her Dad who tells her not to worry so much about him and he’s got the tie thing under control. Because of this, she can barely remember her speech. Suddenly, one of the WWE execs shows up and tells Nattie to kill the “Arn Anderson” portion of her induction speech. Nattie fights this to no avail. Nattie sighs and sits in a chair, getting her hair done.
Red Carpet Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella are interviewed about the Warrior Award. Bryan says that he gets emotional thinking about it. Nikki talks about how red-carpety things are cuz, like OMG, it’s like the prom!
Backstage Paige talks about her “gown” which “rebels” against other gowns. Eva shows up with Jon and nobody will talk to her in the hallways. She retreats to the breakroom so that she can feel better about things by “shoving lettuce in her mouth”. (MATT: Oh no, somebody stop her before she tries the dip.) Jon defends her Sheep/Lion quote. He says that she already won the argument without even arguing. He says that Eva’s a lion and that the other Divas are sheep. Lions do what lions do and sheep do what sheep do, so go be a lion. (MATT: He’s lion — er, LYIN’. OW!!! I’M JUST KIDDING!!!) They bump fists and she tells him that he has meat his teeth. He tells her he just ate two steaks. (MATT: Stop him before he tries the lettuce!)
Everyone is meeting backstage, taking pictures and what not. Nattie’s family shows up and she sobs to them about having her speech truncated. Her sister, Jenni, hugs her and so does Jim. Jim tells her to relax like he is. He yells in her face that he’s calm.
Stage Daniel presents the Warrior Award to Connor Michalek. Brie gets all (MATT: Wet.) weepy (MATT: Same thing.) and says she can’t wait for Daniel to be a father to their kids.
Nattie presents her award to Alundra Blayze — and she decides to tell the Anderson story anyhow. Nattie says she’ll “wrestle”. She isn’t afraid.
THE DAY OF WRESTLEMANIA…
San Jose Convention Center for WWE Axxess
Event Floor The Bellas are signing autographs. Eva Marie shows up. She’s excited to be there and says that so many people have said she can’t do something. She proves them wrong. When you do that, it’s nothing but silence.
LEVI’S STADIUM for WrestleMania 31
Backstage The Bellas go out to the stadium to take a look. Paige is with them. They’re all so excited. Nikki immediately melts back into the “passion for the business” bullshit. They all hug. Nikki says “I’m glad we’re all on the card tonight…it’s so deserving”. (MATT: Thaaaat’s not how you say that…) Eva’s here and backstage. She’s not on the card but vows to be so next year.
As the stadium starts filling up, more backstage shenanigans take place. Nattie tells her dumb “Lawler puppies” joke to Layla. Layla tells her the “kitties” line means “va-jay-jay”. Nattie had no idea. Bret Hart shows up. Neidhart looks at Nattie’s weird jacket and asks were her “whip” is. Nattie freaks out and says she “needs to find one”. (MATT: Can we stop pretending she’s a dominatrix already?)
Ringside Michael Cole welcomes everyone to WrestleMania. Nattie escorts Cesaro and Tyson Kidd out to the ring for the big Fatal Four-Way Tag Title Match. The match is the usual insanity. Naomi prides herself on “hitting Nattie in the face with her ass” while Nattie locks Torito in a Sharpshooter. Cesaro and Kidd win the day
Backstage Naomi greets Jimmy Uso’s kids, Jadian and Jayla backstage. He asks if they’re proud of her. They meet Alicia Fox.
MATT:
“Mommy…it looks like you guys lost…is that true?”
“Well…yeah, honey…but we had fun…”
“You had fun losing?”
“No…I mean, yes. We’re losing but we’re having fun.”
“Did you hit that girl with your butt?”
“YES! Didn’t that look fun?”
“HAHAHAHA! YAAAAAAY!!!”
Ringside/Backstage It’s the Intercontinental Championship Ladder Match. Daniel Bryan is introduced and Brie Bella is beaming backstage. Nikki wants to stay. Brie wants to be a mother. Alundra hears them both out as they watch Daniel Bryan become Intercontinental Champion.
Backstage Paige is psyched for her future and starts to cry a little as this is WrestleMania and she has butterflies. For some reason, Nikki and Brie practice in the stadium bar.
Ringside It’s time for the Divas tag match. Paige is out with AJ. The remaining Divas gawk over Paige’s jacket and how awesome it is. The Bellas make their way down to the ring. Brie says she can’t wait to tell her kids about this. Paige loves the atmosphere. Brie is proud of the division. AJ falls out of the ring and the Divas, backstage, criticize her. (MATT: Vince is like, “What? I had nothing to do with this editing job…”) AJ wins with the Black Widow. Cameron pees her pants about it.
Backstage Paige cries backstage and she loves Nikki who’s a “great champion” who has “helped her a lot”. Nikki talks about how fearless she is. Everyone pats their backs.
Wrestlemania ends…
ONE WEEK LATER…
PHOENIX, AZ
Fertility Clinic The doctor says that Brie is ovulating normally and she’s fertile. Daniel Bryan is a fucking sperm machine, creating three times the amount of sperm as a normal human being. Brie’s ready to be a parent tonight. She says she can’t wait to start trying and says she can be both a Diva and a mother. So, she’ll stay. (MATT: She will?!) Daniel agrees and says they can “try on the road”.
LOS ANGELES, CA
Agora Churrascaria (Restaurant) Eva and Jon have lunch. Eva met with Ronda Rousey’s agent and she signed with him. She says that now that this is over and done with, she’s ready to be the biggest, baddest Diva. (MATT: And she’s doing a great job, being included in the new…Divas…Division…wait…where’s Eva?)
That’s it for this week…
PUNCHES AND HUGS
Danielle
This week’s hug goes to…Natalya: Even though her “You can’t say this stuff” plot was phony, she finally got the balls to go against the grain. Her induction speech was memorable and Anderson was a trooper for playing along.
This week’s punch goes to…Nikki Bella: Let’s see…turning arguments around to suit her, insulting and browbeating Eva, making everyone else’s problems about her…I’m surprised she didn’t accompany Brie and Daniel to the doctor so she could tell them what to do if things “went wrong”.
Matt
This week’s hug goes to…Eva Marie: I’d go with Paige for being so emotional but she’s an idiot for going along with the Bellas. I pick Eva for having the balls to call Nikki on her selfish bullshit and standing up for herself. Nikki Bella’s like that spoiled prom queen who acts nice in front of everyone but treats everyone, individually, like shit.
Worst Diva of the Week…do I even need to mention her name? Nikki Bella: Fuck, saying that name makes me feel like I’m giving Voldemort energy. I cannot state just how awful she was and how pathetic WWE is to use editing to make her look like a victim.
Season 3, Episode 7: “Faith, Hope, and Love”
Air Date: Monday, July 20, 2015
Mariana
In last week’s episode Mariana finally told Callie that she slept with Wyatt. Since the ‘sleeping with Wyatt’ plot had been the bulk of Mariana’s storyline this season, you would think she would be dealing with the fallout of her actions. Nope. There was none. Mariana and Callie are as chummy as ever and continue with their plan to combine their money and buy a used (and apparently previously stolen) vehicle.
Mariana’s birth mother, Ana, has asked Mariana to be baby Isabella’s Godmother, but in order to do so, Mariana must first be baptized in the Catholic church. When Mariana tells Stef and Lena about her plan to get baptized, they lose their shit and are forced to have a discussion about their faith and belief systems. This is not the first time that The Fosters has brought up the issue of the Catholic church. It was discussed when Jesus (the twin that no longer exists) wanted to go to bible camp with his girlfriend as well as when Stef was dealing with her father’s death. This is the first time that the show has explored how Stef and Lena discuss spirituality and religion with their children. Stef and Lena have issue prescribing to a belief system that says the life they have built together is a sin. They also have issue with Mariana’s abuelo telling her that if she does not get baptized she will go to hell. This puts Mariana in a difficult and uncomfortable position, essentially having to decide between making her moms happy, or her birth mother happy. She decides that getting baptized is worth it if it means she can be there for Isabella, and is all ready to go through with it until she sits down with the priest.
The priest says every wrong thing he could possibly say to Mariana. First he calls her ‘Mariana Gutierrez,’ and then tells her that even though her mommas are sinners for being gay, they are allowed to walk into his church. If Mariana is one thing, it is loyal and protective of her mothers and she decides to not go through with the baptism.
Brandon
Brandon is back at Idyllwild and he is now sharing a pianist with Tom, the douchebag who got him kicked out of camp and then helped him back in. Brandon composes a piece for a prepared piano and it is fucking amazing. I have never heard of a prepared piano before this episode, but I am actually obsessed. He is not sure if his composition is too out of the box, asks douchebag dough boy for advice who suggests that maybe Brandon should take a step back and submit a more reserved piece, so that is what Brandon does. Meanwhile, Tom takes the liberty to completely steal Brandon’s idea of a using a prepared piano. Brandon chases after him, throws down the gauntlet and tells Tom, game on.
AJ/Callie
While Mariana might not have to deal with the consequences of last week’s episode, the same cannot be said for AJ and Callie. Stef and Lena call a meeting with Callie to discuss her kiss with AJ, and invite Rita over for moral support. They tell her that AJ is going to be moving in with Rita until Mike’s fostering license goes through, because they can’t have Callie hooking up with yet another foster brother under their roof. Mike asks AJ about his feelings for Callie, and warns him off of Callie since she has a horrible track record with all romantic relationships, especially those involving foster brothers.
AJ’s brother Ty also shows up and he is a huge asshole as well as a bad influence on AJ. The entire time he is with AJ he is shitting on Mike and putting ideas into AJ’s head about how they kicking him out of the Adams-Foster house because he is black and AJ starts to believe him. Ty, you are the worst. You vanish from your younger brother’s without him knowing whether you are dead or alive and then show up out of blue and try to ruin this amazing new life he has which includes making out with his foster sister. Ty is just the worst.
The next day, Callie realizes she needs to move her new car to avoid a parking ticket and AJ tags along. As they are driving, they get pulled over by a cop, due to the fact that she bought a stolen car. Of course this results in AJ and Callie getting arrested. Callie’s social workers stops by the house, and Lena and Stef assume that it is to discuss Callie’s arrest. They are prepared for this conversation, ready to tell her that it was all a misunderstanding, but the social worker is there for another reason. The social worker found out about the restraining order Stef and Lena put on Brandon against Callie, and says that until she gets to the bottom of this, it is not safe for Callie to live with the Adams-Fosters. Callie will need to be removed from their care.
The Fosters airs on Mondays on ABC Family at 8/7c.
“Southpaw”
Directed by Antoine Fuqua Written by Kurt Sutter Starring Jake Gyllenhaal, Rachel McAdams, Forest Whitaker, Oona Laurence, Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, Skylan Brooks, Naomie Harris, Victor Ortiz, Beau Knapp, Miguel Gomez Grade: ** out of ****
Leila Hope (Oona Laurence), angry and frustrated, sits on the floor with her father. She doesn’t use a bench with a table like all the other kids around the room. Like her dad, she’s rough around the edges, street-wise. Tough. She’s learned some new words in school and she needs him to help quiz her on her spelling.
He reads the word “Dismantled”. She spells it.
“Hopelessness,” he says. She spells it perfectly — then takes the paper away and declares the impromptu spelling bee over.
This is meant to be a serious moment in this movie. Instead, I found myself (and about half the audience) snickering. I doubt that’s a response the film’s creators were intending to illicit.
‘Southpaw’ is well-intentioned filmmaking. It wants to be great. It has “Oscar” on the front of its boxing trunks and one of those “actor transformations” that audiences, critics and Academy members still, somehow lose their collective shit over. If only it weren’t held down by a formulaic, forced, cliche-ridden script and generic execution.
Jake Gyllenhaal plays boxer Billy “The Great” Hope. Yup. The film revels in meat-headed metaphorical irony the same way a dog rolls in dirt after a bath. Hope’s the Die Hard Battery of boxing. He takes a pounding but always comes out on top. He seems like a cool character but, inside, he’s full of rage. When upstart challenger Miguel Escobar (Miguel Gomez) begins to taunt him, Hope pushes his agent, Jordan Maine (50 Cent), to get the match signed. Maine’s all over the idea with his “if it makes money” attitude.
In the Madison Square Garden dressing room, BIlly prepares for his fight against Darius Jones, Maureen inspires and soothes her husband the boxer. JG, RM
The problem is that Hope’s wife, Maureen (Rachel McAdams) thinks that Hope’s on his way to permanent brain damage if he continues the path he’s on. He defends himself, propping up his record: a flawless “43-0” and appeals to her materialistic side, but Maureen isn’t hearing it. It’s all for naught anyway. Maureen dies of a stray bullet following an altercation between Billy and Escobar’s entourages at a fundraiser. But forget about all that. The cops simply ask Billy one question, then let him go because he “has to get home”. Investigations don’t exist in this movie. Something about a “lack of witnesses”. This is puzzling to me, since there were about 100 people in the hallway when the shooting happened, but screw it. Nothing gets in the way of a redemption story!
From here, Billy has a fall from grace so improbable, it makes Lindsay Lohan’s antics look subtle. ALL of his money suddenly “dries up” due to “overdue bills and taxes”. That’s not how that works. I may not be a millionaire but that’s not how that works. There’s an insinuation that Maine bled him dry but the movie never really stops to explore that. In any case, the bank takes every single thing he owns and to complete this Book of Job-esque trip through hell, his daughter is subjected to the state’s Child Protective Services agency where caseworker, Angela (Naomie Harris), makes Hope feel less than, uh…hopeful.
What’s Billy to do? He wants to fight again. So, he enlists the help of Tick Wills (Forest Whitaker), this film’s equivalent of Pai Mei, the bearded master sensei in Kill Bill. He’s one of those retired, grizzled (I love that: “grizzled”) boxing movie characters whose sole reason for existing is to help redeem wayward characters who want to box somebody with their life on the line. When he reluctantly accepts, he teaches Billy new stuff like “sticking and moving” and “defending himself”. For somebody with the kind of boxing record Billy has, you’d think he knew that already but, no. Wills is there, teaching him. About ten minutes later, he’s ready to fight Escobar with everything on the line.
The movie is written by Kurt Sutter who is no stranger to grit and violence. He’s the creator of FX’s Sons of Anarchy and also wrote several episodes for the acclaimed drama, The Shield, so it’s ironic to me that his script is under-developed and lacks focus. His ideas are just that: ideas. Each unfortunate thing that happens to Billy/Leila isn’t explored or fleshed out in a manner that would make the proceedings more interesting. Who shot Billy’s wife? Did Escobar know about it? What makes Escobar tick? What happened to Billy’s money? Why did it vanish so quickly? Why is Angela accompanying Billy’s daughter to Vegas if he was awarded full custody of Leila? Simply exploring the notion that it was Escobar or somebody in his entourage who accidentally shot Maureen would have generated more sympathy for Billy and made the entire final bout worth an audience’s time and energy.
As it is, none of this is sufficiently answered and Antoine Fuqua’s hyper-kinetic depictions of life in the ring doesn’t do the film any favors, either. Fuqua (director of Training Day and The Equalizer) seems more interested in showcasing goofy, POV, in-ring camerawork. Billy’s fights, while stylish, seem to be inspired by Scorcese’s “Raging Bull” but Fuqua tweaks it so it’s less “Scorcese” and more EA SportsFight Night for Playstation 3. Fists punch directly into the camera and it’s hard to tell who’s throwing the punches because the style just doesn’t work.
Gyllenhaal, himself, looks like a video game character. A lot’s been said of how much he trained and worked out for the film, about how he looks like he actually belongs in a boxing ring. Am I the only one who’s apathetic about this? Yeah, he looks impressive, but the performance is mixed. At times, he’s effective — especially in scenes with Laurence, who truly steals the show as his tough-as-nails pre-teen daughter. At other times, it’s Gyllenhall playing Eminem (who was initially going to play Billy) playing Rocky. Every single line has Stallone’s trademark monosyllabic New York accent and there’s no real nuance or complexity past the fact that he’s an unlucky meathead, so I’ll be bold enough to declare that his extensive physical transformation is lipstick on a cinematic pig. The same goes for Rachel McAdams who spends over half the film straddling Billy or making seductive overtures and poses in tight body dresses, lingerie and/or bikinis all while the script insinuates that she’s the gentlest of gold-digging shrews. There’s even a scene where Billy reminds her that his money has “paid for the dress she’s wearing”.
Yeesh.
For all the hype and praise that accompanies this movie, “Southpaw” is nothing but a disappointing, cliched re-hash of earlier, better movies of its kind. It brings nothing new to the genre and that’s a shame. It coulda’ been a contender.
Today, SHOWTIME announced that the highly anticipated fifth season of the Emmy® and Golden Globe®-winning hit drama series HOMELAND will premiere on Sunday, October 4th at 9 p.m. ET/PT, followed by the second season premiere of the Golden Globe-winning drama THE AFFAIR at 10 p.m. ET/PT. The network also released the new season key art for HOMELAND’s fifth season.
Synopsis for Homeland’s fifth season:
HOMELAND season five will pick up two years after Carrie Mathison’s (Emmy®, Screen Actors Guild® and Golden Globe® Award winner Claire Danes) ill-fated tenure as Islamabad station chief. Struggling to reconcile her guilt and disillusionment with years of working on the front lines in the “war on terror,” Carrie finds herself in a self-imposed exile in Berlin, estranged from the CIA and working as the head of security for a German philanthropist. HOMELAND is currently in production in Berlin, and is the first American TV series to shoot entirely in Germany.
Synopsis for The Affair’s second season:
Season two of THE AFFAIR explores the emotional and psychological effects of an affair that destroyed two marriages, and the crime that brings these individuals back together. This season, the provocative drama will be told separately from four different perspectives, revealing four distinct truths.
Sunday is going to be a busy time slot for Homeland and The Affair as CBS’ The Good Wife and AMC’s The Walking Dead will also call that time slot home this upcoming Fall.
All that excitement about Fallout 4 have you interested in revisiting the entire series? Prefer to play your post apocalyptic games on the PC? Well great news because today at Quakecon 2015, VP of Bethesda Game Studios Pete Hines announced Fallout Anthology!
The anthology collects the complete Fallout collection in one package. Fallout, Fallout 2, Fallout Tactics, Fallout 3 Game of the Year and Fallout New Vegas Ultimate Edition. The gangs all here! Never before have all of these games been offered as one complete package and with Fallout 4 releasing this fall the timing couldn’t be better.
All 5 games come packaged in a collectible Fat Man mini-nuke, with audible bomb sounds and space for your copy of Fallout 4. The Fallout Anthology releases September 29th in North America and October 2nd across European territories. No price has been given yet in dollars, euros or bottle caps!
Are you excited to visit the Wasteland of yore and relive the series up to this point? Or are old games old and the upcoming release of Fallout 4 enough to satisfy you? Let us know in the comments down below!
Microsoft and Crystal Dynamics created quite the controversy at E3 2014 when they announced that Rise of the Tomb Raider would be exclusive to Xbox One and Xbox 360. This made many Tomb Raider fans and Playstation 4 owners upset in the fact that they would be unable to continue the story of the young Laura Croft in this freshly rebooted franchise.
Adding confusion to the matter was the fact that Microsoft and Crystal Dynamics were both silent and elusive when asked if the exclusivity was timed or entirely exclusive. Many fans on the internet took the knowledge they had, and assumed it was only timed. Why would a company stop a blooming series dead in its tracks by cutting their audience in half midway through this new saga?
Well, Playstation fans and nerds of the internet, rejoice!(*Editor’s Note: Who you calling a nerd, nerd?) Crystal Dynamics announced today that Rise of the Tomb Raider will grace the Playstation console 1 year after the Xbox release this November. They also announced that it will be coming to PC sometime in early 2016.
Crystal Dynamics also told fans not to worry. The Playstation version will not turn into a rushed, ported mess, handed off to a secondary team. They announced that the main Tomb Raider team behind the Xbox versions will be handling the transfer over to the Playstation platform. It is safe to assume that all DLC released between now and the holiday season of next year will also be included on the final release.
Are you bummed that you will need to wait an entire year to get your hands on Rise of the Tomb Raider? Or do you feel that Fallout 4 and Uncharted: A Thief’s End will keep you busy in the cold winter months? Let us know in the comments down below!
The Workprint’s Silicon Valley Season 2 episode reviews can be found here.
I’ve missed the guys at Pied Piper – their hijinks and shenanigans was a necessary palate cleanser after each hour of Game of Thrones this season. And while there were no standout jokes that could compare to season one’s “middle out hand-job equation”, I really enjoyed the ups and downs of their sophomore season. New characters like Laurie and Russ Tanneman were perfect additions as Silicon Valley continued to develop the core group making their quirks even better. So when presented with the opportunity to rewatch this season all over again for Silicon Valley’s release on Digital HD, I humbly accepted.
I’ve missed these guys. Even the blowhard Erlich, played by the amazing TJ Miller, whose character I should stop trying to find a deeper level to and come to accept that he’ll forever be the one I laugh and shake my head at.
Silicon Valley is a series that lends itself to binge watching. Unlike other sitcoms that more or less “reset” at the end of each episode, this show’s narrative through line carries the viewer from week to week. And since many of these episodes end in some form of cliffhanger (usually caused by a colossal fuck up on Pied Piper’s end) the need to find a comfortable stopping point is natural. The only problem is that these natural stopping points never comes, so it’s quite easy to spend a lazy Sunday afternoon noon binging on all ten episodes in a brisk five hours. Even though the number of episodes is on the lighter side, having more of them would bog down the story in frivolous plots. If anything, I wish that the entire season was released this way every year, but it’s probably better that it’s parsed out for me and I don’t have to use self-restraint.
However, that isn’t to say that the season release of Silicon Valley is without it’s own problem. The biggest issue I had was that it didn’t have a single extra or special feature. Normally I’m fine with this, but with my affinity for the show I wanted a little something extra to sink my teeth into. I’m not asking for much. I actually hoped for two things in particular. The first being a Blooper/Gag Reel. Given the show’s banter and arguments there’s bound to be some great ad-libs and character breaks hidden away in the archives. Second, one of my favorite aspects of the show is how grounded in reality it is. It’d be great to see a feature on how Silicon Valley was able to court some of the tech industry’s heavy hitters to participate in a show that makes of fun of them.
The second season of Silicon Valley is a great time. Now that I’ve finished watching it all over again, I can experience that withdraw period I blocked from my memory…
“Silicon Valley” Season 2 is now available on Digital HD.
During E3 2015, one of the stand out moments of Microsoft’s conference was the announcement of backwards compatibility for the Xbox One. Head of Xbox, Phil Spencer, even went so far to say that it is a major reason that the Xbox One was the best selling console the week of E3. However, according to Mike Ybarra, Xbox Director of Program Management, it was nearly stopped in its tracks due to technical limitations
In a recent interview with Xbox Wire, Ybarra let us behind the current on the struggles the company faced with bringing Xbox 360 games to the Xbox One. “We knew it would be an engineering challenge, and many people told us it would be impossible,” said Ybarra. “However, the team had convictions, and delivered.”
According to Ybarra, it took over 3 years to make this feature, one of the most requested by users, a reality. “The ability to play Xbox 360 titles on Xbox One has been one of the most-voted-for consumer feature requests. At a fundamental level, we believe that consumers should be able to play their content on the devices they own.”
I for one am very happy to see this feature become available to all Xbox One users by Holiday 2015 (it is currently available only to preview members). However, I am somewhat bummed that I no longer have my 360 game collection! Looks like I will be keeping my eyes open for a good deal on past 360 titles like Gears of War, Alan Wake (*Editor’s Note: A seriously underrated game), and more.
Are you excited to play your favorite Xbox 360 games again? Or are you only interested in new experiences? Let us know in the comments down below!
With e3 a distance memory, and Comic Con still lingering in our minds, the next big event for gaming fans and nerds alike will be Gamescom in early August. Gamescom has been on my mind since early June, when Microsoft first announced that many of my most anticipated Xbox titles would be no-shows at e3, instead choosing to highlight them at this years upcoming event.
The titles that I am most excited for will finally be featured in all of their glory: Scalebound, Quantum Break, and Crackdown are all on the guest list, including a few surprise announcements.
With all of these heavy hitters at the show, what won’t be mentioned? Phil Spencer recently announced that Sea of Thieves and Recore will not be at the event. According to Spencer, the reasoning behind it is that “another demo so close to E3 is just tough on production”. I completely agree with him. I would much rather have the companies perfecting their games for release instead of wasting precious resources on a demo so close to their recent unveiling.
The Gamescom Xbox briefing will take place on Tuesday, August 4 at 7am PT / 10am ET. You can watch the briefing on Xbox One, Xbox 360, Xbox.com and Windows Phone.
I am really excited to hear more, but am some what disappointed at the no-shows, even if it was expected. What about you? Are you anxious to hear more, or are you more of a Playstation gamer? Let us know in the comments down below!
A new Spectre trailer has arrived, bringing us a closer look at what we can expect from the 24th James Bond film later this year. Spectre‘s story appears to shift its focus from a national security threat to a something much more personal that is tied to Bond’s own backstory.
The official synopsis from the 007 website:
A new trailer for SPECTRE, the 24th James Bond adventure, has been released today. A cryptic message from the past sends James Bond on a rogue mission to Mexico City and eventually Rome, where he meets Lucia Sciarra (Monica Bellucci), the beautiful and forbidden widow of an infamous criminal. Bond infiltrates a secret meeting and uncovers the existence of the sinister organisation known as SPECTRE.
Meanwhile back in London, Max Denbigh (Andrew Scott), the new head of the Centre for National Security, questions Bond’s actions and challenges the relevance of MI6, led by M (Ralph Fiennes). Bond covertly enlists Moneypenny (Naomie Harris) and Q (Ben Whishaw) to help him seek out Madeleine Swann (Léa Seydoux), the daughter of his old nemesis Mr White (Jesper Christensen), who may hold the clue to untangling the web of SPECTRE. As the daughter of an assassin, she understands Bond in a way most others cannot.
As Bond ventures towards the heart of SPECTRE, he learns of a chilling connection between himself and the enemy he seeks, played by Christoph Waltz.
Released in the UK on October 26, and in the US on November 6, 2015.
“Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!”
Directed by Anthony C. Ferrante Written by Thunder Levin Starring Ian Ziering, Cassie Scerbo, Bo Derek, Mark McGrath, Frankie Muniz, Ryan Newman, Mark Cuban, Jack Griffo, David Hasselhoff, Tara Reid Rated TV-14 Grade: C+
The third entry in Asylum’s “Sharknado” franchise is the most ridiculous of the three entries yet — and I’m not referring to Mark Cuban and Ann Coulter playing the country’s President and Vice-President, respectively.
“Sharknado 3: Oh Hell No!” premieres tonight on SyFy and sees everyone’s favorite shark slayer, Fin Shepard (Ian Ziering), returning to defend the masses against the sea beast-infested storms. After receiving the Presidential Medal of Freedom from the President and becoming the first member of “The Order of the Golden Chainsaw” (look, stay with me…it only gets goofier from here), Fin discovers a brand-new Sharknado forming — and it’s heading to Orlando, Florida’s Universal Studios, where his pregnant wife, April (Tara Reid) and her mother, May (Bo Derek), are vacationing.
How does he know this?
“I can sense these storms now,” he tells The President. “These sharks…they have a scent and it’s not a pretty one.”
Commence the eye-rolling.
As Fin desperately tries to get to his wife, he bumps into Nova (Cassie Scerbo), his cohort from the first film. It turns out she’s been doing the same thing Fin’s been doing for the last year, only at a national level: she and her shark-killing partner, Lucas (Frankie Muniz), have a Sharknado Battle Station in a converted and armored RV, containing electronic equipment and weather-tracking that even NASA would be jealous of.
SHARKNADO 3: OH HELL NO! — Pictured: Frankie Munoz as Lucas — (Photo by: Raymond Liu/Syfy)
In fact, nobody’s smarter than Fin and Nova, if this award-winning dialogue is any indication:
“If the storm heads south, it’s gonna get warmer and it’s gonna get stronger — and it could destroy the entire East Coast!” Fin tells a UNITED STATES ARMY GENERAL.
“That’s what the Pentagon said, too,” The General replies.
“I need a plane…my family’s in Orlando!” Fin tells him.
“I know…that’s what they told me.” The General says.
Oh dear…
Does the Army give Fin and Nova a plane? Of course they do. This is “Sharknado”, not “The Unit”.
From there, it’s off to Orlando for the obligatory mayhem and madness — starring Universal Studios! Xfinity! Nascar! Subway! COMCAST!!! The product placement is so in your face, it resembles those award shows from the days of old when the announcer would give you the name of every single star appearing that night in alphabetical order.
The antics, however, just aren’t as fun this time around. This entry lacks the devil-may-care, free-wheeling attitude of the first two films and comes off as an attempt at something more real and down-to-earth — which should never be done when you have a movie about sharks that can fly and aim themselves at things that have a body heat and a pulse.
Much of it is spent with Shepard as you watch him go place to place, grimacing and telling others all about the people he’s lost over the last two years. “Sharkacane” is actually teased for a moment, but one thing at a time, guys.
There isn’t a whole lot I’ll reveal about the final act. To be honest, you’ll thank me for that. First, I can’t do it justice and, second, one of the joys of the series has been the frantic, over-the-top climax and resolutions you used to see in early Robert Zemeckis films, so it would be a crime if I were to even hint at the frontiers the film ventures into.
While it starts well enough (giving us a cutesy James Bond film opening), it doesn’t really hit Ludicrous Speed until the third act in the theme park and even then, you’re drowning in even more gratuitous product placement and corporate shill work. While finally managing to give us the “OMG!!!!11!!!1!!!!” ending we’ve come to expect from this series, even the final reel comes across as tacky, gratuitous, cheap and self-serving.
And maybe fans of the series will eat it up, if you’ll pardon the pun. I felt ripped off. That’s unfortunate, seeing as how the first two films left a smile on my face.
“Sharknado 3” is a shell of what it used to be — tired, lazy, generically manufactured and heartless as its titular weather phenomenon.
WWE Tough Enough
Season 6, Episode 5 – “Swallow Your Pride, It’s Good For You!”
Air Date – July 21, 2015
(w/ Danielle Stolman)
Last week, Gabi went home. Despite the fact that Tanner has been in decline since he started or that Sara Lee has no significance at all except that she her name is Sara Lee and just saying it makes me think I smell fresh baked Snicker Doodles. Who will go home this week? Is Patrick a red shirt or is he an evil villain? How insecure is Hulk Hogan?
Let’s find out!
FULL SAIL UNIVERSITY
Arena We are LIVE(!) from Full Sail University for WWE Tough Enough!
Chris Jericho and Renee Young are the hosts. Jericho compliments Renee’s scarf. Renee does The Arsenio Fist Pump. Shit’s already real.
Paige is happy to be here. Bryan plugs his new book. Hogan can’t wait to read it.
For some reason, Big Show is here and he’s ready to show the competitors what it’s like to be in the ring with the Big Show. (DANIELLE: And the audience flips over to the Sharknado Marathon on SyFy.)
WWE PERFORMANCE CENTER
Barracks The girls start scouting each other. Patrick’s cocky as fuck and wants to know “what it’s like to be in the Bottom 3”. ZZ doesn’t like it and sits Patrick down for a heart-to-heart. ZZ: “Have you ever had a peanut butter sandwich? It sucks. You have to have a little jelly.” (DANIELLE: Is ZZ trying to initiate a threesome here? I don’t even…)
ROCK ON ADVENTURES
Obstacle Course Everyone has to run an insane obstacle course. Lita goes over the rules and nobody is allowed to break them. Billy Gunn brings in an “enforcer”. It’s Nattie, being escorted to the course by the Clermont Police. (DANIELLE: Was she shopping with Emma earlier? What’s with the cop cars?) Nattie says the cops will help her enforce the rules. (DANIELLE: Then why do we need Nattie?!) Tanner says he can’t wait to figure out something to say to Patrick when he wins. Patrick doesn’t like this. ZZ’s a fucking turtle. Tanner wins by about three hours, then starts talking shit. Then he feels bad and starts helping Patrick out, saying that he needs “competition”. ZZ is still dead at the middle of the course. Giorgia wins for the girls. Chelsea can’t even do the rope climb until everyone cheers her on. Then she hits the top of the rope beam — and falls funny. She calls for a medic. (DANIELLE: Creative’s like, “Well…who else has Daniel Bryan slept with?”) When we come back from a break, everyone’s banged up. Nattie says that this is a sample of the pain they’ll feel in the ring.
Doctor’s Office Chelsea’s got a sprained ankle. Her new boyfriend, Tanner, is with her. He cheers her on. Chelsea has to rest her ankle for a month.
WWE PERFORMANCE CENTER
Barracks GiGi (that’s her name now) talks shit with Amanda until Chelsea gets back. Josh is depressed about coming in third and decides to Facetime with his family. He does his Yeti growl for his daughter which is cute as hell. Sara Lee goes to hang out with Chelsea. Chelsea says that she can’t show weakness. She’s gonna do whatever it takes to get into the ring, no matter how much pain she ends up feeling.
The boys try to console ZZ. Mada and Tanner tell him not to sulk and he needs to step it up and work on things. Patrick loses his collective shit and starts barking at ZZ, telling him that everyone in the Barracks works harder than he does and he’ll be damned if ZZ just keeps winning competitions because he’s got “character”. (DANIELLE: “Anyone…but you, ZZ…anyone…but you…” *WYATT CUT*)
After a break, Amanda’s legs are torn up from the rope. (DANIELLE: Or Tanner railing her last night.) That’s not Chelsea. (DANIELLE: Oh, he’ll fuck anything with a pulse.) Sara Lee accidentally admits the truth about Chelsea’s ankle. Amanda drools over this. (DANIELLE: Bad little cupcake!)
Gym Billy Gunn wants to know how Chelsea’s ankle’s doing. Chelsea can’t answer fast enough before one of the girls says that she heard Chelsea couldn’t put weight on it for a month. Sara Lee is horrified. Then GiGi starts to fake cry over how “unfortunate” it all is, causing even Chelsea to Picard Facepalm. Sara Lee calls GiGi a fake. Gunn wants to know what Chelsea’s gonna do. Chelsea says she’s sitting this one out.
The rest of the cast gets in the ring with their helmets on. The new exercise is a run into a scoop slam. They all try it. Gunn pairs everyone up to do this. The winner of each pair gets to talk trash to their losing opponent while they do 50 squats. The losers have to say whatever the winners want. ZZ loses, Patrick loses, Sara Lee loses. It’s almost predictable.
Booker says that Mada wins the guy’s competition.
Lita says GiGi wins on the women’s side.
Barracks Sara Lee goes after Amanda for selling her out earlier. GiGi defends Amanda. Sara Lee wants to talk to one of them. Josh giggles while Tanner furiously eats the hell out of his popcorn. Sara Lee screams at both women and tells them to shut the fuck up.
FULL SAIL UNIVERSITY
Arena Jericho and Big Show compare hands. (DANIELLE: Is this “showing the contestants what it’s like” to be in the ring with Show?) Show says he’s gonna show them his Chest Chop. He wants the guys to remove their shirts. Each guy takes one. (DANIELLE: Every one of my gay friends immediately hits Season Pass on their DVR.) When he gets to ZZ, he asks ZZ if he brought him a Peanut Butter Sandwich. Show rips ZZ’s tank top off and slaps him. (DANIELLE: Well, that was neat, but what did that have to do with anything?)
After break, the judges grill the contestants. Bryan confirms that Chelsea’s cleared to compete. He asks ZZ if he’s been working out. Somebody answers off-screen. Patrick says ZZ’s working hard. Hogan praises Mada. Paige commends Sara Lee.
BOTTOM 3:
Daniel Bryan: ZZ – There’s been no improvement getting in shape.
Paige: Patrick – Patrick is learning humility this week. He wasn’t good at all.
Hogan: Josh, for some reason – A really weak explanation about how he doesn’t step it up. Paige and Jericho both point out how consistent he was.
PLEAS:
Josh: He’s learned a lot and he knows he can do better.
ZZ: He loves this business.
Patrick: Yeah. What ZZ said.
Bryan wants to make two saves. But he can’t. So he saves nobody. (DANIELLE: Huh?!) None of the judges wanna make a save.
GOING HOME: Patrick
Renee Young interviews him. Patrick says he will be back. Patrick won’t shut his mouth. He yacks endlessly about wanting ZZ to win and says that he, himself, is a “winner”.
OVERALL: Decent show for the most part. I’m a bit confused as to how ZZ didn’t go home when he nearly had a heart attack during the obstacle course and lost the ring competition. I don’t know why Hogan picked Josh to be in the Bottom 3 when he did far better than ZZ and more than Chelsea who isn’t even memorable. For those who say this isn’t fixed, I beg to differ.
Today ABC Family’s Shadowhunters site released an official cast photo after star Katherine McNamara’s Twitter chat with fans. Don’t you wish it was already 2016?
Squad time! (L-R) Emeraude Toubia, Katherine McNamara, Dominic Sherwood, Harry Shum Jr., and Matthew Daddario (source: Shadowhunterstv.com)
The only character missing from the picture is Clary’s best friend Simon Lewis played by Alberto Rosende.
From the Twitter chat, we also found out that they are currently filming episode six!
True Detective Season 2, Episode 5 – “Other Lives”
Air date: July 19, 2015
True Detective takes a couple steps back even as the plot jumps sixty-six days forward in “Other Lives”, moving past the fallout from the brutal shootout at the end of “Down Will Come” and focusing on how our heroes have been coping after the dust has settled. The answer, perhaps unsurprisingly, isn’t well. With the case officially closed but unofficially wide open, the team is reassembled into a confidential task force to investigate not only Caspere’s murder, but the corruption surrounding it. It feels a bit like a narrative reset, but with three short episodes left in the season, it’s some long overdue forward progress.
The flash forward was similarly employed in the first season, but used to better effect in an investigation that spanned over a decade, bridging the gap between the characters’ accounts and the present day. In “Other Lives,” however, the gap serves largely to clear the table, a narrative convenience that bypasses the messy aftermath of the Vinci Massacre so that the team can be reunited and the investigation reopened. One of the issues with the season so far is that the corruption at the heart of the mystery is readily apparent, but frustratingly beyond the reach of our heroes–it’s only past the halfway point of the season that our detectives are finally on the right trail. The central mystery of the season feels more like a straightforward corruption scandal, without the intriguing clues and occult undertones that made the first season so compelling.
The dead suspects from the firefight are all that Attorney General Geldof needed to consider the Caspere case closed, a victory he leveraged to announce a bid for governorship. Ray resigned ahead of the state’s corruption probe and is now working as an enforcer for Frank, who himself has downsized both his home and ambitions. Meanwhile, Paul was promoted to detective, but Ani finds herself working in the evidence locker as a result of the internal affairs investigation against her. State’s Attorney Davis secretly reunites the three main characters for a confidential investigation into Caspere’s murder and corruption.
So the investigation essentially starts anew, but with a handful of more concrete clues to drive the plot forward during the season’s final three episodes. The missing girl from the premiere, Vera, left behind some photographs of Caspere’s missing blue diamond and the secret parties that keep getting mentioned. Paul questions a few local pawn shop dealers, one of whom reveals that Teague Dixon was also searching for the missing diamond. A later investigation of Vera’s last known location in Guerneville brings Ani and Paul to a small, blood splattered shack. Meanwhile, Ray tails Blake and finds him trafficking girls from Pitlor and Tony Chessani to Osip. A rather forceful interrogation of Pitlor reveals what should already be mostly apparent–Pitlor provides plastic surgery and prescriptions for the girls used in Caspere and Chessani’s parties, where they forge business deals and gather evidence for blackmail.
The camera and hard drive from Caspere’s bungalow is notably still missing, the contents of which have piqued the interest of McCandless, the president of Catalast. He offers Frank his five parcels of land in the rail project in exchange for its return. But another problem lands on Frank’s door–Ray, who after his wife’s real rapist is arrested, realizes that Frank set him up all those years ago. The first half of this season was weighed down by uneven characterization and a meandering investigation, but “Other Lives” dumps more significant plot developments in an hour than we’ve received all season, and the story finally receives a much needed push forward.
YOU'RE THE WORST -- "Fists and Feet and Stuff" -- Episode 110 (Airs Thursday, September 18, 10:30 pm e/p) -- Pictured: (L-R) Chris Geere as Jimmy Shive-Overly, Aya Cash as Gretchen Cutler -- CR: Byron Cohen/FX..
FXX has announced that September 9th will be the premiere date for the final season of The League and the second season of acclaimed comedy You’re The Worst.
Wednesday nights will be the home of the seventh and final season of The League, which will premiere on FXX on Wednesday, September 9th at 10 PM.
Following the The League will be the premiere of the second season of You’re The Worst at 10:30 PM. Originally aired on FX, fans of You’re the Worst will need to tune into FXX this year in order to watch.
Full press release below:
FXX SETS PREMIERE DATE FOR THE LEAGUE
AND YOU’RE THE WORST
September 9th Return for Seventh and Final Season of Hit Comedy The League, Followed By the Second Season of the Critically Acclaimed Comedy You’re The Worst
Twitter Pitch: Get excited! The seventh and final season of @TheLeagueFXX and the second season of @YTWFXX premiere on September 9th, starting at 10pm on FXX!
LOS ANGELES, July 21, 2015 – FXX is the destination for comedy this fall with the seventh and final season of its hit comedy series The League and the second season of the acclaimed comedy You’re The Worst, it was announced today by Chuck Saftler, President of Program Strategy and COO, FX Networks. Season seven of The League will premiere on FXX on Wednesday, September 9th at 10 PM e/p, immediately followed by the second season of You’re The Worst at 10:30 PM e/p.
The League – Wednesdays at 10 PM e/p on FXX, beginning September 9th
To be a fan of FXX’s The League, you don’t need to know much about fantasy football, or sports at all. You just need to have friends that you hate. The ensemble comedy follows a group of old friends in a fantasy football league who care very deeply … about beating each other for bragging rights.
The League was created by the husband-and-wife team of Jeff Schaffer (Curb Your Enthusiasm, Seinfeld) and Jackie Marcus Schaffer (Disturbia, Eurotrip) who serve as executive producers and directors. The series is produced by FX Productions.
The League features an ensemble cast of rising actors/comedians. Stephen Rannazzisi (Paul Blart: Mall Cop) is “Kevin,” a happily married father and commissioner of the league. Katie Aselton (The Sea of Trees) plays “Jenny,” Kevin’s wife and his better half – especially when it comes to Fantasy Football. Mark Duplass (Togetherness) plays “Pete,” the perennial league champ who is struggling to become an adult. Jon Lajoie (Let’s Be Cops) is “Taco,” Kevin’s little brother, a part-time musician and full-time stoner with little interest in fantasy other than hanging with his buddies (whom he struggles to remember). Nick Kroll (Kroll Show) plays “Ruxin,” who believes he is the smartest of the group but can’t figure out how exactly the other guys are screwing him over. “Andre,” played by Paul Scheer (Wet Hot American Summer: First Day of Camp), has continued to be the punching bag of the group since their high school days – a fact that hasn’t changed despite the fact he is now a successful plastic surgeon.
You’re The Worst – Wednesdays at 10:30 PM e/p on FXX, beginning September 9th
You’re The Worst is a modern look at love and happiness told through the eyes of two people who haven’t been very successful with either. It’s the story of Gretchen and Jimmy, fear, heartbreak, romance, sex, food, Los Angeles, Sunday Funday, friendship, and the fact that sometimes the worst people make the best partners.
An original comedy from writer and executive producer Stephen Falk, You’re The Worst puts a dark twist on the romantic comedy genre.Narcissistic, brash, and self-destructive Jimmy Shive-Overly, (Chris Geere), has inadvertently found himself paired up with cynical, people-pleasing, and stubborn Gretchen Cutler (Aya Cash). After a whirlwind courtship that culminates in Gretchen burning her apartment down with a faulty “back massager,” she and Jimmy are forced to take their relationship to the next level by moving in together (which neither of them are particularly thrilled about). Now they must learn how to live with each other when they can barely live with themselves.
Rounding out the cast is Desmin Borges, who plays Edgar Quintero, Jimmy’s once homeless, war veteran roommate who’s on a mission to redefine his relationship with Jimmy; and Kether Donohue as Lindsay Jillian, Gretchen’s best friend and former partner in crime who’s now struggling to find her identity after being dumped by her “lame, soft” husband.
We are “24 hours removed” from Battleground, a show that really would have been great had we not had an angle instead of a main event. WWE spent weeks building up a rematch between Seth Rollins and Brock Lesnar — only to have the match go eight weak minutes before a complete non-finish featuring The Undertaker. Apparently, he leads off the show this Monday. Let’s get going…
We start with clips of last night’s World Title match at Battleground.
We are LIVE(!!!) from Kansas City, Missouri for WWE Monday Night RAW!!!
JBL, Cole and Byron Saxton are the guys on the mics.
And The Undertaker does, indeed, lead us off. The crowd cheers for him as he looks around. He growls into the mic. He says he stands in the ring as a relentless, remorseless, cold-blooded Grim Reaper. Streaks are made to be broken, he says. He says that’s the painful truth. But Lesnar had to keep rubbing it in for over a year. He says, “ENOUGH”. He says that Lesnar turned smoldering ashes into a raging inferno. Last night was his true resurrection. He says that Lesnar cannot kill what won’t die. He says that unleashed forces set their careers towards new destinies. He says that he will conquered what hasn’t been conquered. And just like life, be it like man or beast…Lesnar will rest in peace.
Not a bad promo and about 7 days shorter than anything presented by The Authority.
Triple H and Steph are backstage. He’s so excited about ‘Taker being back. It’s a SummerSlam match. He says that he’s gonna set it all up. He’s gonna call Heyman and tell him to stay away because he has no idea what Lesnar will do. Steph will set up the marketing.
TONIGHT: John Cena, Cesaro and Randy Orton vs. Kevin Owens, Rusev and Sheamus.
NEXT: Charlotte vs. Brie Bella
Tamina, Naomi and Sasha Banks are “on commentary”. Boy, the more things change, the more they stay the same, huh?
MATCH #1: Charlotte (w/ Paige & Becky Lynch) vs. Brie Bella (w/ WWE Divas Champion Nikki Bella & Alicia Fox) Brie won’t let go of a headlock. Charlotte does everything to break out as Naomi talks about how her and her Divas are “bad like Michael Jackson”. Finally, Charlotte breaks the headlock. Brie escapes outside. Charlotte dives at Brie. Brie moves and Charlotte hits nothing but pavement in a spot that looks like what wasn’t really intended. After an unnecessary break, Charlotte gets out of an armbar. Brie does YES kicks because, suddenly, she’s the face here. She kicks Charlotte hard and pins her for two. Finally, Charlotte rolls Brie up for a two count. Brie retaliates with a dropkick for two. Brie puts on a chinlock but Charlotte breaks that shit immediately, so that saves two minutes. Brie immediately hits a Missile Dropkick off the buckle and gets two. And it’s another headlock spot by Brie. Charlotte breaks, catches Brie’s leg and starts hitting Flair Chops which looks like somebody attempting to swat at a spider without actually touching it. She knocks Brie down and goes for the Figure Eight. Nikki leaps on the mat but Charlotte knocks her off. Brie runs at Charlotte. Charlotte clotheslines her and hits the Figure Eight for the win at 9:00. WINNER: Charlotte via Figure Eight
RATING: **. This was like watching Natalya and Brie when Natalya was good. It’s still not great.
AT SUMMERSLAM: Brock Lesnar vs. The Undertaker
TONIGHT: Roman Reigns vs. Luke Harper
Triple H is backstage, talking to Paul Heyman. Miz tries to interrupt. That’s not happening. Triple H tells Heyman that Lesnar has the night off. The Miz asks wants Triple H to know he’s pissed at Big Show for what happened last night. So, Triple H says that Miz is going one-on-one with the Big Show. Miz protests. Triple H doesn’t care and says, “Get out of here, Obi-Wan.” (DANIELLE: I love this segment. Five stars.)
MATCH #2: Los Matadores (Diego & Fernando) (w/ El Torito) vs. WWE Tag Team Champions The Prime Time Players (Titus O’Neil & Darren Young) (non-title) Young starts. He hits a forearm and legdrop. Another forearm by Young and another charge but Young ends up on the bottom rope. A splash by Matador #1. Tag to #2. Quick moves and a double team. Two count. #1 stomps at Young. #2 comes in for a Twin Legsweep. Two count. Finally, Young hits a belly to belly. Hot tag to Titus. He desroys #2 and tosses him across the ring. Titus splashes him in the corner and shoulderblocks him. Young hits a Side Suplex on #1 — and The New Day interrupts. #2 hits the Backstabber. The end at 4:04. WINNERS: Los Matadores
RATING: *1/2. This match was gonna be that regardless of the interference. And would it kill WWE to tell us which Matador is in the ring?
Post-match, The New Day celebrates.
TONIGHT: Luke Harper vs. Eric Rowan
ALSO: The Big 6-Man Tag
MATCH #3: The Miz vs. Big Show Miz leaves the ring. Show lifts him back in. Miz kicks Show and stomps him. Show comes back with a shoulderblock and chest slap. Huge slam by Show. Huge elbow drop off the ropes. Done at 1:27. WINNER: Big Show
RATING: n/a – squash
Post-match, Show has a mic. He wants Miz to clarify his insults from last night. He says that Ryback has the Championship. Crowd cheers for Ryback. Show barks about getting the title.
Painter Rob Schamberger is backstage with a new painting of John Cena. Triple H and Steph want another one for SummerSlam for the big main event…and then they spot Paul Heyman backstage. They stop him and ask “What the fuck”. Heyman says that Lesnar isn’t in the arena. He accepts the Undertaker’s challenge. Heyman’s just here to deliver Lesnar’s retort. Triple H and Steph don’t trust Heyman. They say they need more security…and the entire locker room.
Steph and Triple H suddenly care about everyone. Steph lets everyone know about what’s going on. Triple H says that he needs help to put bodies between ‘Taker and Lesnar. They all bark at one another.
Paul Heyman’s in the ring. He says his client is not the WWE Heavyweight Champion of the World because of The Undertaker — and not because of his domination of Seth Rollins. He says that Brok Lesnar was the one to conquer The Undertaker’s undefeated streak at WrestleMania. He says he knows that this pisses off The Undertaker. Heyman acknowledges bragging about it. Why wouldn’t he? So many people before Brock would have had they beaten The Undertaker. Brock didn’t fail. He succeeded. And, now, ‘Taker’s back and looking for retribution. So, now, it’s The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar. Since The Undertaker wants this to be personal, he’ll make it personal, too. He yells about breaking the streak over and over — until ‘Taker shows up in the ring after the bell tolls.
‘Taker corners Heyman in the ring — and Lesnar’s music hits. Lesnar runs down to the ring and it’s on. Lesnar is all over ‘Taker with a press. ‘Taker reverses and it’s just a good ol’ fight. Suddenly, “Security” runs out to stop Lesnar and ‘Taker…but that’s like stopping a bullet with a piece of paper. Triple H calls out every single wrestler in WWE and TNA. They get between the two but Lesnar and ‘Taker STILL manage to get their licks in. After a few misfires, we go to commercial.
When we come back, Lesnar and ‘Taker were moved backstage. But they still manage to fight. Finally, Lesnar is subdued and cuffed with plastic wiring. Lesnar is removed from the arena.
And after another break, we get a MOMENTS AGO segment, showing everything we just saw.
Triple H is with Steph. He says he’s not “pressing charge”. (DANIELLE: For…?) Seth Rollins shows up, laughing. Seth wants to say stuff to the WWE Universe. The Authority allows it.
Cole runs us through the Wyatt/Reigns match.
Then we get one of those Wyatt sauna promos where you basically say, “That’s nice” after it ends.
Harper and Reigns come out for their match…but Dean Ambrose interrupts. He tells Roman that he’s got Reigns’ back.
MATCH #4: Luke Harper (w/ Bray Wyatt) vs. Roman Reigns (w/ Dean Ambrose) Reigns clubs Harper ten times and works Harper in the corner. Harper comes back with an Irish Whip but Reigns clothesline him. Harper regroups and works Reigns in the corner but Reigns retaliates wiht shots in the corner, an Irish Whip and a running clothesline. Reigns hits a suplex. After a break, Reigns breaks a headlock but Harper traps him again. Reigns breaks but Harper sends him outside. Reigns breaks the count at nine and gets back in the ring. The two fight but Harper runs Reigns’ arm into the ringpost. It’s another clutch by Harper. Reigns breaks and hits forearms. Harper runs at Reigns but misses and falls out of the ring. Reigns kicks Harper and hits a huge uppercut. Reigns hits a big clothesline and hulks up. He whips Harper into the corner. Harper comes back and runs into the Samoan Drop. Reigns goes outside for the Drive-By Dropkick. Bray gets in the way. Reigns beats up Wyatt and hits a Double Drive-By. Bray fights back for the DQ at 13:02 after all of that. WINNER: Roman Reigns via DQ
RATING: *1/2. This was long, clunky and boring. I don’t give a rat’s ass about Harper. I don’t give a shit about Wyatt or this feud. None of this is interesting.
Post-match, it’s a Pier 6 with the Wyatts dumping Ambrose and attacking Reigns. They set him up for trouble. Ambrose gets back in the ring and attacks Wyatt. Harper gets to Ambrose. Ambrose hits the Rebound Clothesline. Wyatt attacks Ambrose but Reigns comes alive and hits the Superman Punch. The Wyatts ditch the ring and the faces stand tall.
We get another reminder of what happened between Rollins and Lesnar at Battleground.
Rollins comes out to speak. He tells the arena they were wrong about him. He says that everyone bought into the “Suplex City” thing with their shirts. He says that everyone doubted him when his entourage got roughed up — but here he is. He’s still the champ. He says that Lesnar may have ended The Streak. But he beat Lesnar. He tells the fans they never will begin to understand what Rollins’ life is like. His life is being the champion. He is the end-all, be-all of WWE Champion history. He says he was robbed last night and he wants to fix that. He calls Lillian Garcia into the ring to announce that he won. Garcia does so after being corrected.
John Cena’s music hits. He comes down to the ring. He sends Garcia out of the ring and tells the fans not to put up with Rollins’ crap anymore. Rollins congratulates Cena on his win at Battleground and tries to leave the ring. Cena calls him back and says that him and Rollins won the title on the same night. The difference between him and Rollins, however, is that Cena defends the title. Rollins is just a suck-up. The crowd chants “USA”. Rollins tells them to shut up and says that Cena’s just beating anyone who comes down to the ring. He says that the crowd hates Cena’s guts and his constant title defenses are sad attempts to cover that up. He tells Cena to issue his challenge. Rollins tries to leave. Cena calls him a coward and says the real champ is here. He says the man makes the title. As a man, Cena says that Rollins is a joke. Cena takes off the cap and shirt. Rollins takes off his shirt as well. They tease a fight…but Rollins bails.
TONIGHT: The 6-Man Tag Match
Cole recaps Steph single-handedly “rescuing” the Divas Division.
Another Divas match — with the Bellas on commentary. Yaaaaay.
MATCH #5: Paige & Becky Lynch (w/ Charlotte) vs. NXT Divas Champion Sasha Banks & Naomi (w/ Tamina) Lynch and Banks start. Lynch hits a couple armdrags. Tag to Noami and she tees off on Lynch in the heel corner. Naomi shoves Lynch to the mat Two count. Lynch breaks and starts hitting legdrops. Two count. Tag to Paige. Paige hits an Irish Whip and Naomi trips over her. Naomi gets up and tags Banks. Paige slams her and tags in Lynch. Paige hits a high knee. Lynch follows with a high kick in the corner. After a break, Naomi has slammed Lynch and hit an elbow drop. Two count. Naomi puts on a Front Facelock. Lynch breaks free. Naomi hits a back elbow off a charge to get two. Tag to Banks who slaps Lynch on a run. Banks turns and hits a forearm on Paige. Banks turns and tags in Naomi. The two hit a double elbow. Banks back in after that. Banks hits a Backstabber on Lynch. Lynch breaks and tries to tag Paige. She finally does after three attempts and Paige comes in to roll Naomi with clotheslines and dropkick. Paige hits a Superkick and the PTO. Sasha comes in with a high kick to break it. Paige sends her out of the ring. Tamina climbs up on the mat. Paige dispatches her as well. Naomi tags Banks who gets to her feet. She comes in with a Backstabber and Banks Statement to get Paige to tap at 13:30. WINNERS: Banks and Naomi
RATING: **. Far too long. I don’t feel one way or the other about any of these people. Lynch doesn’t impress me and neither does Naomi. And do we really have to have every single new Diva at ringside from here on out?
WWE promotes Jake Gyllenhall in “Southpaw”. Lita, Booker and Billy Gunn all compare his training to Tough Enough. I kinda doubt it.
ON SMACKDOWN: Sasha and Naomi face The Bella Twins. Yay.
EARLIER TONIGHT: The Undertaker and Brock Lesnar got into a fight.
AT SUMMERSLAM: The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar
2 WEEKS AGO: Rusev and Ziggler cross paths and Ziggler suffers a broken ankle.
Renee Young has Lana backstage. She says that Ziggler is recovering. No damage to his windpipe. He’s talking now, too. Summer shows up, looking like Lana. Summer says she’s keeping the look. Rusev shows up and he’s entranced. Rusev loses about 80 percent of his accent fawning all over Summer. Rusev tells Lana that she looks tired. Summer slaps Lana in the face and leaves.
MATCH #6: Cesaro, Randy Orton & WWE United States Champion John Cena vs. Kevin Owens, Rusev (w/ Summer Rae) & Sheamus Cena faces Kevin Owens but Owens chickens out and tags Rusev. Cena flies at Rusev who catches him and hits a Fallaway Slam. Owens is tagged in and he punches at Cena. Owens calls himself The Man after stomping at Cena. Cena immediately hits the STF. Owens escapes it and hits a DDT. Owens misses a Cannonball. Tag to Cesaro and Sheamus. Cesaro hits a cross body and uppercuts in the corner. He goes for the Swing. Owens tries to make a save. Cesaro drops him. Rusev comes in and hits a Superkick. Cesaro goes down. When we come back from a break, Sheamus has Cesaro in a headlock. Cesaro counters into a suplex. Tag to Owens. He ambushes Cesaro who boots him in the face. Tag to Sheamus who splashes him in the corner, hits a running knee and a lariat. He pushes Cesaro into the heel corner. Tag to Rusev but Cesaro punches at him and drops him. Tag to Owens. Cesaro uppercuts him and tosses Owens into Sheamus. Owens hits a Gutbuster. Sheamus is furious and asks Owens what he was doing. The two shove it out. Sheamus drops him and leaves with the MITB case. Rusev is still down. Owens has nobody to tag. He quickly hits a Reverse Senton. Owens and Rusev get into it. Owens tags Rusev and calls him an idiot. Rusev shoves him. Owens nails him with a Superkick and HE leaves. It’s the faces vs. Rusev. Cesaro hits a hot tag to Orton. Orton hits the Powerslam in Stride after a couple clotheslines. Orton hits an Exploder and goes for Vintage Orton. He hits that and goes for the RKO. Rusev dodges and hits a Superkick. Out comes Lana. She removes her heels and attacks Summer, kicking the shit out of her. Rusev tells her to leave. Lana does after getting what she wanted. AA by Cena to Rusev. Swing by Cesaro. Cesaro slingshots Rusev into Orton for the RKO and the win at 14:57. WINNER: Cena/Orton/Cesaro
RATING: ***. This was basically a SNME match on Monday. Liked watching it.
The faces celebrate as we go off the air.
OVERALL: A lot of talking and filler this week. The only upside was the great ‘Taker/Lesnar segment and the main event which mostly delivered. Solid show for what it was.
Ballers
Season 1, Episode 6 – Machete Charge
Grade: C+
And the slow down happens again.
Ballers has managed to squander all the momentum it gained from last week’s episode. It’s almost as though the showrunners don’t remember that there’s a “Previously on” sequence before each episode. They have to re-hash the details of each plot line over and over ad infinitum. Maybe they don’t have faith in their target demographic to have a capable short-term memory, but I digress.
Ricky is still fuming after his Ferrari was towed and his wheels were boosted. At the mechanics while he’s getting his car fixed, he talks to his wife Bella about how things are coming to a head with Alonzo. Of course, he skirts carefully around the issue that he’s been sleeping with another woman. When asked, Ricky claims that this row is because of a uniform number dispute, while Bella looks at him incredulously. Trying to allay suspicion, Ricky quickly pivots to try to recruit Bella’s Uncle Frank. When he mentions him, Bella tries to convince him otherwise, as Frank always takes it too far.
Ricky, in all of his genius for interpersonal relationships, decides to squash his beef by taking Alonzo to a strip club, because you know, ass and titties solve everything. Alonzo decides to take everyone who was slightly related to him to the strip club and have Ricky cover everything. This of course runs him thousands upon thousands of dollars. However, Alonzo gets enamored with a dancer and takes her out to his car for some extracurricular activities. While Alonzo hotboxes his car, the smoke is seen by a passing squad car. He immediately gets taken out of the car and arrested. However, Ricky is able to intervene in the nick of time, preventing Alonzo from getting a suspension from the league and keeping his record clean. Obviously, this kills the feud between the two of them, and they part amicably. This is probably due to the arresting officer being a Packers fan, or more likely the officer being Uncle Frank.
In the meantime, Charles stops by to visit Ricky at the strip club, complaining about the sexts he’s been getting from the random chick he met at the party. Charles decides not to pursue it, because his marriage is important (yay!), but he decides to keep a .gif of her twerking and emails it to himself (you f*cking idiot). His wife finds out, and within an episode, Charles is out on his ass. To be frank, I’m not exactly sure what the point of this storyline is, but I guess we’ll see where it leads.
Continuing off of his appearance last week, Victor Cruz is in the episode in an extended cameo. Spencer keeps ducking Vernon’s call after their falling out. Eventually, Joe forces Spencer to take the call, and Spencer agrees to a sit down. At the table, the group is told that Vernon is being blackmailed by a woman who has pictures of him from the yacht, doing drugs with hookers. Of course, this is while he’s trying to renegotiate his contract. A payoff to keep this woman quiet could potentially be worth tens of millions, so a meet is made. Of course, when the shady lawyer tells you that his client wants $500k, the cost-benefit analysis takes a bit to compute. As Joe and Spencer walk out of the lawyer’s office, Spencer drops the nugget that he knows the woman who’s blackmailing Vernon.
I guess this is a cliffhanger to be sure, but at this point, do we really care? For every half-hour episode, I feel like we only get 10 minutes of actual plot development. After the positive steps made last week, I’m disappointed for Ballers to return to its glacial pace again. For some reason, I keep wanting Ballers to be a 45 minute show, which would maybe give the characters the space they need to flesh out, but right now, it just seems like caricatures plodding through plots simulating real life, when it could be so much more.
