Disney’s D23 Expo is happening this weekend and while we’re expecting to hear news regarding Star Wars and all of the Marvel ventures, Pixar also gave us some news and photos surrounding their latest films, including news about an Inside Out short film.
“RILEY’S FIRST DATE?” MAKES ITS WORLD PREMIERE – Pixar Animation Studios heads back inside the mind with an all-new short. “Riley’s First Date?” made its world premiere this afternoon at D23 EXPO 2015. Director Josh Cooley, along with “Inside Out” filmmakers Pete Docter (“Up,” “Monsters, Inc.”) and Jonas Rivera (“Up”), introduced the short, which revisits Riley, now 12, who is hanging out with her parents at home when potential trouble comes knocking. Mom’s and Dad’s Emotions find themselves forced to deal with “Riley’s First Date?” The short will be included as a bonus feature in the digital HD & Blu-ray releases of Disney·Pixar’s “Inside Out,” which will be available digitally Oct. 13 and on Blu-ray Nov. 3, 2015.
In Disney•Pixar’s “Finding Dory,” everyone’s favorite forgetful blue tang, Dory (voice of Ellen DeGeneres), encounters an array of new—and old—acquaintances, including a cantankerous octopus named Hank (voice of Ed O’Neill). Directed by Andrew Stanton (“Finding Nemo,” “WALL•E”), co-directed by Angus MacLane and produced by Lindsey Collins (co-producer “WALL•E”), “Finding Dory” swims into theaters June 17, 2016.
An Apatosaurus named Arlo must face his fears—and three impressive T-Rexes—in Disney•Pixar’s “The Good Dinosaur.” Featuring the voices of AJ Buckley, Anna Paquin and Sam Elliott as the T-Rexes, “The Good Dinosaur” opens in theaters nationwide Nov. 25, 2015.
KILLJOYS -- "Enemy Khlyen" Episode 109 -- Pictured: (l-r) Hannah John-Kamen as Dutch, Aaron Ashmore as John -- (Photo by: Ken Woroner/Temple Street Releasing Limited/Syfy)
Killjoys Season 1, Episode 9: “Enemy Khlyen” Air date: August 14, 2015 Grade: A
Prepare to have your minds blown in this week’s episode of Killjoys, “Enemy Khlyen” as D’avin reunites with Dutch and Johnny in a high stakes gamble that forever changes the course of their lives. No pressure or anything.
At first we see how life has degenerated for poor D’av (Luke MacFarlane), who is stuck in Westerly claiming low-level warrants (since he has no ship of his own). Pree (Thom Allison) has graciously given him room and board while he helps out with odd jobs around the bar. Dutch (Hannah John-Kamen) makes an unexpected visit and, yes, it’s super awkward. D’av tries to tidy up quickly and, in an attempt to fill the silence, tries to play gracious host by offering her a drink. The level five killjoy though can’t really stay and was just there to drop off his stuff. When she asks how he’s doing he responds with, “This lone wolf absolutely. I’m a free man running wild and free.” Riiiiiiight.
John-Kamen and MacFarlane did a beautiful job in this scene with their forced smiles, awkward silences and small talk (cushions were mentioned!). I wanted to move on from that as much as the characters did I’m sure.
Back on Lucy (voiced by Tamsen McDonough), John (Aaron Ashmore) and Dutch are sparring and exchanging their usual banter when the younger Jaqobis tells his partner that he’s finally got a way to track Khlyen (Rob Stewart) down. With the help of a woman named Carlene, they are able track the ex-tutor by honing on his specific neural pathway. Dutch gets hooked up to a machine where she’ll be projected to wherever Khlyen is physically located. There is a high risk of bodily injury however as the procedure is completely experimental.
KILLJOYS — “Enemy Khlyen” Episode 109 — Pictured: Hannah John-Kamen as Dutch — (Photo by: Ken Woroner/Temple Street Releasing Limited/Syfy)
Once the program is engaged, Dutch finds herself in a generic looking hallway. She explores and comes across a strange bowl with liquid in it and then wanders into another area where the number 71 is printed on the walls. While she eventually she sees Khlyen walking towards her, she begins to experience severe pain and Johnny wants to pull her out. But Dutch still doesn’t know where she is exactly and refuses to go until she finds out. It’s a tense moment but as soon as she wakes up in her own body, she tells Johnny that she knows where Khlyen is. Her crazy former mentor is inside the RAC. YES, the same RAC that they are a part of. I screamed at my screen asking what the hell was going on.
Johnny and Dutch feel the same way as they decide to have a drink at Pree’s. D’avin cautiously comes up to them with some hoc, seeing that they could use another drink. You can’t help but feel like he’s trying to get invited back to sit at the cool table. Johnny though is mum on what they’ve discovered at first, but Dutch says that D’av’s tactical background could be helpful and they fill him in on Khlyen’s location. The other Jaqobis is dumbstruck as well as two explain that they need to get up all the way to the top levels (level 71 specifically) where the RAC executives are located.
D’avin excuses himself to go talk to Alvis (Morgan Kelly), a plan brewing in his mind on how he can help his former teammates. Once he’s gotten what he’s needed, he goes to Lucy and tells them that he knows how they can get into the RAC.
As they approach the station and are asked for their reason for landing, we find out it’s to formally dissolve their team. I’m crying a little on the inside at this point. In the next scene, a RAC officer is questioning their motives for terminating affiliations with D’av when Turin bursts in to take over. He’s out for Dutch and knows something fishy is going on. He turns the meeting into an inquiry into the possible suspensions of their reclamation licenses. The elder Jaqobis puts on a great act by confessing that he beat Dutch then stabbed his brother. Now he wants nothing to do with them because they ruined his life. Turin buys the bull momentarily and agrees to their request. He then leaves the room to fetch another rep for D’avin for attacking his former teammates. Also it’s hilarious that Turin dubbed them “Team Awesome Force,” albeit sarcastically.
Once the man disappears Team Awesome Force gets into action. D’avin releases a targeted pulse charge which takes out the power within the entire station. It was a little something something he picked up from Alvis. This buys them a bit of time to get up to level 71. Dutch goes off to find Khlyen while Johnny is in search of that weird bowl he theorizes is a computer of sorts.
After a lot of stair climbing, Dutch makes it up to Khlyen’s office where her ex-tutor has been waiting for her. They fight for a bit but the older man is seriously kicking her ass. Dutch takes out her trump card, a deadly poison that she is going to inject into her body unless he answers her questions (like what the hell is he doing inside the RAC). Earlier we had a flashback scene where a young Dutch almost ate a poisoned fruit but Khlyen had stopped her. In the memory, he still looked the same and had told the young girl that her father had hired him to train her. Back in the present, Dutch explains that she’s finally realized that his weakness is her and injects herself with the poison to prove that she isn’t bluffing.
KILLJOYS — “Enemy Khlyen” Episode 109 — Pictured: Aaron Ashmore as John — (Photo by: Ken Woroner/Temple Street Releasing Limited/Syfy)
Meanwhile Johnny finds the bowl and is able to access it by changing his voice to sound like Khlyen’s. He manages to store some of the liquid from the bowl into a small vial before the alarm goes off. Back on level 35, D’avin is tied to a chair being interrogated by Turin who knows that they’re behind the blackout. The officer asks what’s so special about Dutch that she started as a level five (the highest level supposedly) and that any complaints about her virtually vanished. He knows someone is protecting her from within (and now we know that Khlyen had something to do with it) but it’s infuriating him that he doesn’t know why. Lastly the man asks D’avin why Dutch has been slated as Red 17, but of course the elder Jaqobis has no idea what that means. Johnny then tells his brother through their communicators that he needs to get back to Lucy asap since he’s triggered the alarm and a lockdown has been initiated.
Turning our attention back to Dutch and Khlyen, she’s asking the man what he’s doing there and he in turn tells her that she doesn’t even know what the RAC really is and that she’s asking the wrong questions. She switches gears and shoots back, “Were you always a part of it, even in my world? Was that what you were training me for?” He responds yes to both. Khlyen then explains that he came back into her life now because she took a level five warrant (a kill warrant), which told him that she was done running and was finally ready. She then follows up with the question that’s been bothering her the most, why did he choose her? But before he can answer another killjoy enters the office and Khlyen shoots him in cold blood. Just as swiftly though Dutch grabs the weapon from him and stands up, very much not poisoned. Psych! Her ex-mentor gives a smile of approval for her acting abilities. He then attempts to goad her into shooting him but she refuses, saying that’s not how she’s gonna destroy him before bolting out of the room.
D’avin and Johnny make it back to Lucy, but the ship isn’t able to leave while the RAC is in lockdown. Dutch gets to the docking bay and tells the brothers that she’s going to disengage Lucy so that they can leave and that she’ll figure out her own way off the station. The boys try to stop Lucy to starting up the thrusters but Dutch has engaged a master protocol, code name “Free Bird.” After she sends them on their way and walks back towards the main floors, Turin appears and shoots her in the leg. He goes into a monologue about hunting these little critters and pulling their wings off, then telling Dutch that he’s not sure they’re on the same side. In the next moment he literally gets stabbed in the back. Enter Khlyen who says, “We’re not.” This is my favorite Khlyen moment ever.
In his own weird way, the creepy guy really does care for Dutch and is continually protecting her. As he carries the bleeding killjoy to an escape pod, Khlyen says that no harm will come to the Jaqobis since she’ll need her whole team for what’s coming. As he’s strapping her in, Dutch asks him why does he keeps saving her and he responds by asking her what was the moral of the story he had told her as a child. She answers that in the end the wasp and the bird save each other. And with that Khlyen says that he needs her to live and gets up to leave the pod. But Dutch still has questions though: did her father really send him and what is he? He turns around and says, “I’m level six.” Ok, uhh WHAT THE HELL!!!! That is both awesome and scary.
Back at Old Town, Alvis gets arrested and beaten by The Company for harboring weapons. This is likely going to spark the resistance movement to doing something spectacularly big in the season finale.
KILLJOYS — “Enemy Khlyen” Episode 109 — Pictured: Luke Macfarlane as D’Avin — (Photo by: Ken Woroner/Temple Street Releasing Limited/Syfy)
Dutch manages makes her way to D’avin’s room with her injured leg and Johnny leaves to find Pawter (Sarah Power). Still in shock, she tells D’av that Khlyen is level six and that she thinks he is telling the truth. He cups the side of her face in his hand, saying that he knows a thing or two about bad dads and that if he ever finds Khlyen, he’s going to kick his ass for hurting her. Aww shucks. But the awesome badass that she is, Dutch merely smiles and asks him how many breakups do they have to go through before he realizes that she doesn’t need him to fight her battles.
The episode ends with Khlyen dragging Turin’s body away to an undisclosed location within the RAC. The stabbed guy though doesn’t know how to shut his mouth when he threatens the level six agent that he knows what he is and what he does up there. There’s something so satisfying knowing that he’s now prey to a scarier and more lethal beast.
With the season finale next week, there are still so many questions left unanswered! What is the RAC really if Khlyen is actually a level six agent? Why is he still not aging? What is the master plan for Dutch and this mysterious “Red 17?” Johnny must have stolen something critical from the bowl computer since we saw Khlyen looking majorly pissed when he saw what happened. How do the Jaqobis brothers fit into Khlyen’s plan? Who is he sending them after? Does it have something to do with the resistance? Has D’avin redeemed himself in the eyes of Dutch and Johnny by reporting himself and causing the blackout so that Team Awesome Force can truly reunite?
Here’s hoping we find out in the next episode. I can hardly wait and we definitely need a season two stat!
I have a confession to make, but you all have to promise not to judge me. Agreed? Ok, here goes: I love FMV (Full Motion Video) games. The mix of camp and cheesiness you get from them is unrivaled in the video game space. Add in some decent acting, wrap it in the shell of a point-and-click adventure game and you would have a game tailor-made for me. Thankfully, the people over at Zandel Media have given me just that in Missing: An Interactive Thriller – Episode One. Unfortunately, they haven’t given me much of it.
Missing is an episodic adventure series with the hook being FMV gameplay and cutscenes. In the first episode, you fill the shoes of two characters. The first is David Newcastle, who has been kidnapped, with no clue why or how. As David, you must find a way to freedom, by solving puzzles and using quick reflexes to avoid traps (think Saw but not as gruesome). Trying to solve a series of disappearances similar to David’s is Detective Lambert, the other playable character.
The game appears to be shot in HD, as the FMV cutscenes and still gameplay images are crystal clear. As much as I love the camp that comes with FMV, the game wouldn’t be much of a “thriller” if the acting was poor. Thankfully, the acting is well done, which is no small feat considering that the majority of the game follows David and his isolated experience in captivity.
Gameplay is pretty standard adventure game mechanics. Missing has you click around trying to find clues in order to solve puzzles placed between David and his freedom. Occasionally the game throws a quick time event in the mix to shake up the pace and implant a sense of urgency to the situation. The puzzles are interesting enough and some are downright clever but could have benefitted from a little more of a challenge. Most puzzles I encountered were solved in a minute or two. This brings me to Missing’s one real problem: its length.
From beginning to end, episode one of Missing took me 36 minutes to complete. While the episode is only priced at $3.99, the value doesn’t seem to justify the price when for a dollar more Telltale will give you an episode 3-4 times the length. You may have noticed that while I mentioned two characters, I’ve really only talked about one. That’s because you spend a total of 3 minutes playing as Detective Lambert, a paltry amount of time to have any real opinion on a character (*Editor’s Note: It’s almost 10% of the game time, so it’s not that bad when you think about it that way).
Even with the brevity of the first episode, Missing is an excellent and engaging adventure game with a cool twist. The problem is that there just isn’t enough there. I’m excited to see where the series goes and am willing to give it another go when episode two is released, but if Zandel continues to give me so little for my money, then I can’t in good conscience recommend this game to others. Missing is an appropriately titled game because what’s really missing, is the content.
The Man from U.N.C.L.E. (2015) Directed by: Guy Ritchie Written by: Guy Ritchie, Lionel Wigram Starring: Henry Cavill, Armie Hammer, Alicia Vikander, Elizabeth Debicki
The Man from U.N.C.L.E. is the latest in the long line of television shows your parents watched to get a slick, modern film revival. The film stars Henry Cavill as American CIA agent Napoleon Solo, who is forced to team up with KGB agent Illya Kuryakin, played by Armie Hammer. Alicia Vikander rounds out the main trio as Gaby Teller, the daughter of a German nuclear scientist. Director Guy Ritchie, best known for films such as Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels, Snatch, or the Sherlock Holmes films starring Robert Downey Jr., brings a lot of style and humor to the cold war spy thriller, making it the perfect palate cleanser to round out the summer blockbuster season.
Unlike most recent spy films, the primary focus of The Man from U.N.C.L.E. is style. The film is filled to bursting with quick wit, playful glances, and retro cool. Henry Cavill brings his best Superman confidence and charm, while Armie Hammer provides the brooding intensity of what seems like a KGB super solider (“It ripped the hood off my car!”). The chemistry between the two is a lot of fun–forced to work together, the two supremely capable agents clash predictably but nevertheless forge a begrudging respect and believable friendship. This isn’t to diminish Alicia Vikander’s contribution as Gaby Teller, an auto mechanic from East Berlin who’s more capable than she lets on. Vikander shines in the role, serving at times to mediate between the two quarreling agents and other times as her own element of mischief and chaos.
The pacing and camerawork is similarly in service of the film’s stylish sensibilities–The Man from U.N.C.L.E. doesn’t feel the need to weigh itself down with an obligatory series of action or suspense. Instead, Guy Ritchie is more than content to let such aspects of the movie play out in the background occasionally, juxtaposing the relatively tranquil foreground to provide contrast and humor. Other sequences, such as a stealth infiltration or and all-out assault on the enemy’s secret lair, are shown via a faster and more stylish series of dynamic and multi-frame montages. There’s more to the spy genre than just action, and the film is eager to give more screen time to charisma, chemistry, and wit.
The Man from U.N.C.L.E., like its main characters, is a bridge between two worlds. On the one hand, we have Solo, the suave womanizer and international man of mystery. On the other, the brooding stoic Illya with nearly superhuman capabilities. The film shows an understanding and appreciation of both the old and new incarnations of the spy genre, bringing together elements of both but leaving out the camp or gravity. It’s old school James Bond teaming up with Jason Bourne, but delivered with a heavy emphasis on style and humor.
The Man from UNCLE hits theaters nationwide on August 14, 2015.
“Straight Outta Compton”
Directed by F. Gary Gray Written by Jonathan Hermah & Andrea Berloff (based on a story by S. Leigh Savidge, Alan Wenkus & Andrea Berloff) Starring O’Shea Jackson Jr., Corey Hawkins, Jason Mitchell, Neil Brown Jr., Aldis Hodge, Marlon Yates Jr., R. Marcos Taylor, Carra Patterson, Alexandra Shipp, Paul Giamatti, Elena Goode, Keith Powers, Joshua Brockington, Sheldon A. Smith, Keith Stanfield Grade: *** out of ****
Eric Wright (AKA “Eazy E” – played by Jason Mitchell) walks into a house in the middle of South Central Los Angeles ghetto. He’s selling Dope to the residents of the neighborhood. His buyers try to screw him and say that he’s short on the delivery. Eric wants his money and doesn’t have time for games. The half dozen men and women of the house, high as kites, surround him. The Second Amendment is heard clicking and loading from every direction. They tell him to get lost or face the consequences. Eric shows no fear. He has a reputation in these parts and he tells them that if he leaves with no money, they’ll all be very dead, very fast at the hands of his colleagues. It’s nothing personal. This is his business. This is what he does. But before we get down to business, the L.A.P.D. crashes the party. While the residents of the house freak out and hide contraband as quickly as they can (a moment that’s almost darkly comical: they do this as if they’ve been running weekly drills for just this sort of situation), Eric runs as fast as he can in the other direction, escaping the wrath of the law.
These are the opening moments of “Straight Outta Compton” and they’re about as brutally honest and genuine as it gets. These are the moments in the film that work. This sort of raw, visceral emotion and behavior was the driving force behind the infamous “N.W.A.” (AKA, “Niggaz Wit Attitudes”) who, for better or worse, revolutionized the world of hip-hop and rap.
Eric is the central figure in the film. Known as “Eazy E”, he’s brash and arrogant and puts up the money to fund the group at the suggestion of Andre Young (AKA “Dr. Dre” – played by Corey Hawkins). Andre is portrayed as a musical romantic, mixing together the styles of the old school soul/jazz movement in Marvin Gaye, James Brown and even Duke Ellington to give his listeners music they’ve never heard before. The group’s writing is all done by O’Shea Jackson (AKA “Ice Cube” – played by Cube’s son, Jackson, Jr.), giving their audiences a glimpse of their lives in Compton, California. Even as they quickly gain fans, they also manage to attract the ire of local and federal law enforcement due to the fact that they’re “sexually obscene” and “promote violence”. Also, it could be that their song “Fuck tha Police” might have something to do with it. The media does them no favors, presenting N.W.A. as antagonists for the sake of being antagonistic. Little do they realize that these men grew up in a society full of corrupt cops who have nothing better to do than harass Compton residents, something the movie never lets you forget, beating you over the head with police characters who only have three lines: “get on the ground”, “hands on your head” and “we don’t have to tell you what we’re looking for.”
Together, the group creates “gangsta rap”, where the lyrics are hard and angry, telling stories of life on the mean streets of L.A.’s worst neighborhoods. The group’s unlikely rise to stardom is due, in part, to Jerry Heller (Paul Giamatti), an agent who E reluctantly brings on despite the fact that every artist he’s represented saw their peak popularity in the 70’s. Heller is intrigued with E and does his best to represent his interests — something the rest of the group takes exception with. This drives a wedge between E, Cube and Dre and they eventually go their separate ways. Cube forms a successful solo career and then branches out into the film world while Dre signs with the menacing, borderline psychotic Suge Knight (R. Marcus Taylor), a man who beats people up just for accidentally parking in the wrong spot in the parking lot.
It’s not entirely difficult to tell a story like this and director F. Gary Gray is probably one of the more logical choices to helm the proceedings, having worked with producer Ice Cube on Friday and his music video, “Today Was a Good Day”. After a recent string of flops (Be Cool, Law Abiding Citizen, A Man Apart), this is a welcome return to form. The problem is that he keeps things far too simple and doesn’t really give us anything groundbreaking or profound to latch on to. The script, written by World Trade Center scribe, Andrea Berloff (and newcomer Jonathan Hermah), is surprisingly bland. Even the dramatic bits don’t give way to any deeper meaning or pathos. Racial tension is limited to various bouts of police harassment which are so overly-theatrical and hokey, they come across as unintentionally funny. The film touches on the L.A. riots following the Rodney King beating — but nothing much is explored here, except for N.W.A. taking a ride through the city as it falls apart around their ears. This is very surprising to me, given the nature of the group and what they stood for, as well as the current racial climate in the United States. This movie could have been a statement to that effect. One gets the feeling that the film wants to say something, wants to add a voice to the growing social commentary — but, strangely, it seems restrained. Thus, the aspirations to be the Next Great Docudrama are dashed and the film continues its course into ordinary monotony, broken up with the occasional burst of overwrought embellishment, that it’s less Ray and more Fear of a Black Hat without the jokes.
For what it’s worth, Gray is blessed with one hell of a cast. The cast that makes up N.W.A. are all brilliant. They not only have the mannerisms and voices down, they all have an intensity. This goes double for Giamatti’s performance as Jerry Heller, a role that he can play in his sleep. He brings an emotional nuance to the part, serving as the agent holding his team together as well as a surrogate father to Erick — who actually listens to what Heller has to say despite his rebellious nature. Taylor’s “Suge Knight” is also exceptional, portrayed as The Devil to Heller’s white-haired angel. When Taylor looks at a character, you can almost see him envisioning ways to end their life. He’s truly frightening and intimidating and you hate him for it. It’s fascinating to watch each of these people grow as the movie progresses. While E is rap’s Peter Pan, the ghetto kid who never grew up, Ice Cube and Dre break from that world. Cube becomes a family man, raising children, writing movies and looking back on his rap days with happy sentimentality while Dre becomes the consummate businessman, building his own label and selling his own brand of headphones. You’d swear that they aged in front of your eyes, the performances are that good.
As far as the controversial subject matter, there’s just no getting around it. The movie does try to be as straight with the audience as it can, pulling almost no punches from the group’s intensity to their complete disregard of the rules and the law and their lack of respect for women on the whole. Of course, that doesn’t mean that it’s confession time for all involved. Certain inalienable truths remain off-screen like the time E used $250,000 of his illegal drug sales to initially fund the group or DJ Yella quitting the business to produce porn for the next 12 years or Dre’s abusive behavior toward both cops and women — most notably, slamming a woman’s head into a wall and throwing her through a glass door — but who’s interested in something like that, huh?
Overall, the film simply plays out like your usual biopic and, despite its run-time, it feels hurried, almost becoming a Grand Theft Auto video game based on the group’s Wikipedia chronology and a YouTube compilation of their greatest music videos. Sure, it’s entertaining and, at times, fascinating, but ultimately hollow.
“Straight Outta Compton” is in theaters nationwide as of August 14, 2015.
Rick and Morty Season 2, Episode 3 – “Auto Erotic Assimilation”
Air Date – August 10, 2015
Rick and Morty might be the darkest comedy on television right now. Where most comedies settle for depicting terrible people doing hilarious things (look no further than It’s Always Sunny or South Park), Rick and Morty isn’t afraid to occasionally let the darkness stand on its own. These honest and sobering moments punctuate the series with a remarkable amount of emotional weight; the writers understand that it isn’t always necessary to soften the blow with humor. “Auto Erotic Assimilation” examines the often destructive relationships we have with others–plumbing the depths of Rick’s pain when he encounters an old flame and taking another hard look at the strained marriage of Beth and Jerry.
Christina Hendricks guest stars as Unity, a powerful hive-mind that has enslaved entire species and who also happens to be one of Rick’s old love interests. Their passion is quickly reignited and the two embark on a marathon of debauchery (involving, among other things, hang-gliding into a stadium full of redheads and people who look like Rick’s father) while Summer and Morty are waited upon by other assimilated members of Unity’s hive mind. Rick and Unity share a genuine connection and understand each other–Unity admires Rick’s ability to see the “big picture”–but it soon becomes clear that their relationship is self-destructive and enabling.
Summer is unsettled by Unity’s enslavement of an entire planet,, but as Unity slides deeper into her toxic relationship with Rick, she begins losing control of some of the citizens. Summer and Morty are there to witness their liberation, but before Summer can enjoy her ideological victory, she quickly learns a lesson about trying to do some good in the world. The newly freed citizens quickly revert to their horrible selves (sex offenders and drug addicts, mostly) and reignite a race war. It’s the hard lesson that Morty has learned on several occasions throughout his adventures (as recently as last week’s “Mortynight Run”): doing what’s right doesn’t always mean doing what’s best, and in this crazy universe, you’re almost certainly unable to know the difference. It’s nice to see Morty take a turn as the wiser, more jaded member of the duo here, a small consolation for the horrible lessons he’s usually subjected to: “Ah, Summer, ha ha… First race war, huh?”
Beth and Jerry, meanwhile, find themselves bickering as they snoop through Rick’s garage and discover a secret underground lair housing an imprisoned alien. They can’t agree on what to do with it, but Beth and Jerry’s constant arguing are enough to drive the creature to break free on its own. It calls out Jerry and Beth for being terrible people in a terrible marriage who are only using Rick as an outlet for their frustration, their hatred for each other rivaled only by their own self-loathing. The subject of Beth and Jerry’s marriage has been touched upon before–a hasty arrangement following an unexpected pregnancy–but there isn’t a touching resolution to be found here. It may have taken a baby-eating, space AIDS riddled alien for them to confront their failure to each other and themselves, but Rick and Morty doesn’t presume to have the solution for their troubled marriage.
Ultimately, Unity finds the strength to face these difficult truths, even if Rick is unwilling. She breaks up with him, leaving him devastated and suicidal. Although he isn’t able to go through with it, “Auto Erotic Assimilation” lingers on his pain–the sort that isn’t channelled into drunken binges or angry outbursts, but merely overwhelms. It’s a hell of a way to end an episode (particularly a cartoon comedy), but these are the sort of poignant, often brutally honest moments that keep Rick and Morty so grounded.
Patton Oswalt also guest stars as Beta 7, a neighboring hive mind in a practical alliance with Unity (and who also hopes that the alliance can be more than practical).
“The first rule of space travel, kids, is always check out distress beacons. Nine out of ten times, it’s a ship full of dead aliens and free shit! One out of ten times it’s a deadly trap, but I’m ready to roll those dice!”
“Stop affecting that stupid hip hop dialect!” “Stop shifting the crosshairs to my ironic urban patois!”
For Wii U owners, Super Mario Maker is the next big release of the year. At E3, Nintendo showed off its Mario level creator during their presentation, as well as promoted it at the exhilarating final round of the Nintendo World Championships. At the time Nintendo promised more details would be coming, but until this week, little was heard on the title.
For those out of the Nintendo loop, Super Mario Maker allows players to create their own wild and crazy levels. Creators can use assets from Super Mario Bros and Super Mario Bros 3 from the NES, Super Mario World from the Super Nintendo, and even New Super Mario Bros from the Wii and Wii U. Super Mario Maker will allow you to bring assets from the new games into the past (*Editor’s Note: What blasphemy is this you speak of?), creating special 8-bit and 16-bit sprites that you can’t find anywhere else.
With the September 11 release right around the corner, Nintendo has released a new 7 minute trailer explaining Super Mario Maker and its many features. New details that were divulged include the ability to create your own sound effects and visual effects for your stage (Editors note: I can’t image that ending well). Creators will also be able to create their own music with perfectly placed note blocks. Finally, Nintendo revealed that the game will feature support for 50+ amiibo.
Are you excited to start creating new Mario stages? Or are you like me? Uncreative, but enjoying the fruits of someone else’s labor? Let us know in the comments below!
Tonight, my world crosses with the world of the comic book geek as Stephen Amell guest-hosts. I’m not totally hating this move. It seems fun. Amell is a huge wrestling fan and seems to really enjoy being put into WWE’s spotlight. It’s also the perfect gimmick match for SummerSlam and recalls the days of WWE old when we used to have celeb handicap matches. As for the rest of the show, let’s see what we’ve got…
We are LIVE(!!!) from Seattle, Washington for WWE Monday Night RAW!!!
Michael Cole, JBL and Byron Saxton are the guys at the talking desk.
TONIGHT:
An in-depth look at Brock vs. Taker
Stephen Amell of WB’s Arrow is here to confront Stardust
Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper
Seth Rollins starts us off. He comes to the ring while we take a look at the time Rollins broke Cena’s nose. Rollins looks smug as always. It’s MONDAY NIGHT ROLLINS, he says. He is “the man who broke the face that runs the place”. Part of the crowd actually does a “YOU SOLD OUT” chant because Rollins broke up The Shield yesterday, as we all know. Rollins says that nobody’s heard from Cena. Then he says that Cena’s probably home, licking his wounds. Either that, or contemplating his rap career. Because he’s STRAIGHT OUTTA ACTION! TOPICAL POP CULTURE REFERENCES ABOUND! He says that if Cena can’t get to SummerSlam, he needs to forfeit. He says that Cena hasn’t “responded to his challenge” (So, how can he “forfeit”?) — but he’ll be on Tough Enough. He’s not a man. Suddenly, one of the ringside guys tells Seth that Cena will be here via satellite. Seth calls him out — and we get a Conan O’Brien Syncro-Vox sketch from 1999 where it’s an image of Cena with a moving mouth.
This murders the crowd dead for three whole minutes until Cesaro shows up to point out just how long the sketch has been going. He says that he wants to challenge Rollins TONIGHT. Rollins denies him and says that the “open challenge” was last week and was a one-time thing. Rollins wants to know what Cesaro has done to deserve a shot at the title. Kevin Owens shows up next. The answer that Rollins is looking for is “nothing”. He says that nobody has beaten John Cena but HIM. If anyone deserves a shot tonight, it’s Kevin Owens. Rollins calls them “deaf and dumb” — and Orton shows up next. He says he’s the only one who gets a shot. Rollins tells all three of them that it isn’t going to happen. He says that Tom Brady is the only one with a shot at a free meal in Seattle than anyone has at the title. He tells them all to leave “his ring”.
And, finally, we’re at Triple H, nearly 15 minutes later. Triple H says that it’s interesting that Rollins would say those words. He says that doctors are saying that it’s 50/50 that Cena will make it to SummerSlam. That creates some turmoil — but that also churns out some competition. Tonight, it’s a Triple Threat Match with Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens vs. Randy Orton. Who ever wins this match will be in tonight’s main event: a title match against Seth Rollins for the WWE Championship. Rollins looks worried and we finally end this segment.
TONIGHT: MizTV welcomes Daniel Bryan.
NEXT: Team B.A.D. vs. Team Bella
When we come back, the newly-named “Team P.C.B.” (which Cole pretends has always been the name and generically stands for “Paige, Charlotte, Becky”; oooo, so intimidating) are at ringside marking the 150th time we get this weird, obsessive angle where EVERY SINGLE DIVA has to be in the same place at the same time.
MATCH #1: Team Bella (Alicia Fox, Brie Bella & WWE Divas Champion Nikki Bella) vs. Team B.A.D. (Tamina, Naomi & Sasha Banks) The bell rings. Fox and Naomi are in first with Fox hitting a Spinning Backbreaker for two. Tag to Nikki who hits an armbar. The commentary is just scintillating:
Cole: “Becky, it’s been quite the ride for you: you actually knocked off Brie Bella on Main Event, your first one-on-one match here in the WWE.”
Becky (completely dry and quiet): “I did. I did. I put her in the Dis-Armer. (Long pause) And I, also, the night before…I put Alicia Fox in the Dis-Armer.”
Paige (after a LONG pause): “Our team is the most dominant team out of every single one of these Divas.”
Meanwhile, it’s still Naomi in the ring. Nikki hits a weak Spinebuster for two. Naomi tosses her into the corner but Nikki comes back with an Enzuguri. After a break, it’s Banks running Nikki over and hitting a forearm on Brie, knocking her off the mat. With the ref’s back turned, Tamina knees Nikki in the face and Banks gets a two count. Finally, Nikki breaks and it’s a tag to Brie who hits YES Kicks and a dropkick off the top rope. She goes for Brie Mode but Banks hits a tag to Tamina on the way to the ropes and Brie eats a clothesline. Tamina knocks the rest of Team Bella off the mat and tries a Superkick but Brie ducks and rolls her up for the win at near 9:00. WINNERS: Team Bella
RATING: 1/2 a *. Jee-zus. Long and boring with god-awful commentary from PCB on the mics. Somebody needs to show Becky how to give a decent promo or at least sound like she’s into what she’s doing. The three-team thing has got to stop. It’s just not working, especially considering what happens next…
Team B.A.D. gangs up to stomp a mudhole in Brie. Team PCB enters the ring, as does Team Bella and it’s a Pier Six with BAD and PCB clearing the Bellas out. They all stare at Nikki who holds the title above her head so little kids can’t reach it or something. Then they glare at one another. Who’s good? Who’s bad? Who gets a title shot? Does anyone give a damn? Break the damn teams up already. It’s telling that they can’t even come up with clever stable names.
STILL TO COME: The Triple Threat Match
Stephen Amell is at ringside tonight.
MATCH #2: Los Matadores (Diego & Fernando) (w/ El Torito) vs. The New Day (Kofi Kingston & Big E) (w/ Xavier Woods) Fernando starts with Kofi. They run, leap, counter and flip until Fernando hits a dropkick and Frankensteiner. E tags in and shoulderblocks Fernando, then it’s a Mudhole Stomp in the corner. PTP watch from the back. Kofi punts Fernando and locks in an armbar. E tags in for a Warrior Splash. Fernando counters a side suplex and sends E into the corner post. Tags on both sides. Diego clotheslines Kofi and hits a 360 Senton off a springboard. Diego does OLE! to Kofi, then puts him on the ropes. Outside, El Torito attacks Xavier and flings him into the barricade. On the distraction, E and Kofi hit the 11th Hour for the win at 3:58. WINNERS: New Day
RATING: *1/2. Eh…this feud is getting old. I could have sworn Los Matadores were the “#1 Contenders” a while back, but what do I know?
The New Day are backstage, dancing and celebrating, singing a parody of 2 Live Crew’s “We Want Some Pussy”. Renee Young says they will face PTP at SummerSlam — and also Los Matadores and Lucha Dragons because nobody in Creative can decide which tag team is out front. They pretend to be happy and celebrate some more.
Rollins hangs out with Triple H. Rollins is pissed that he has to be in a title match tonight. Triple H says that his opponent will be exhausted. He has faith in Rollins because Rollins beat Neville after Neville pushed him to the brink. Rollins nods and says anything Cena can do, he can do.
LAST THURSDAY ON SMACKDOWN: Reigns challenged Wyatt to a match at SummerSlam. Wyatt accepted.
AT SUMMERSLAM: Dean Ambrose & Roman Reigns face Bray Wyatt and Luke Harper
TONIGHT: Ambrose vs. Harper
NEXT: The Triple Threat Match
MATCH #3: Cesaro vs. Kevin Owens vs. Randy Orton in a Triple Threat Match to decide who faces Seth Rollins for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship Orton and Cena beat up on Owens who bails from the ring. Cesaro and Orton battle until Cesaro slides out of the ring. The fight moves outside but Owens rolls into the ring after Orton clotheslines him. Cesaro fights off Orton and gets back in the ring. Cesaro tries a Swing but Owens kicks out. Cesaro stomps his chest and gets two. Cesaro hits some corner uppercuts but Orton runs in with a T-Bone Suplex on Cesaro, then one to Owens. Orton goes for Vintage Orton on Cesaro but Cesaro falls off the ring ropes. Owens pulls Cesaro out and it’s Owens and Orton. Owens mocks Orton’s show-off move (arms up) but Orton shoulderblocks him. Cesaro gets involved again and the fight spills out of the ring. Orton tosses Owens into the barricade, then tries to toss Cesaro into Owens. Owens moves. Cesaro grabs him. Owens drops him on the barricade. Orton side suplexes Owens on the barricade as well.
Back in the ring, Orton pins Owens for two. Orton hits a suplex and gets a one-count. Orton and Cesaro trade uppercuts. Owens hits a couple of his own on Cesaro, then tosses him out of the ring. Orton hits a backbreaker. Cesaro flies in and hits Orton with a Cross Body for two. He and Orton trade uppercuts. Orton goes for the RKO but Cesaro locks in a Crossface on a counter. Orton gets to the ropes and falls out of the ring as there’s no legal way to break the hold. Owens gets into the ring and knocks Cesaro out of the ring. Then he follows it up with a 360 Splash to the outside, knocking both guys down.
After a break, Owens and Cesaro go at it with Owens hitting a Cannonball for two. Owens goes top rope but Orton flies in and punches at him. He tries for a Suplex. Owens headbutts him and knocks him off. Cesaro hits a dropkick and Owens is woozy, sitting on the top buckle. Cesaro and Orton go and grab Owens for a double Superplex. Orton and Cesaro trade shots and Cesaro knocks Orton down, hitting the Swing, then locks in the Sharpshooter. Owens runs in and Cesaro breaks the hold, trying to lock it on Owens. Owens kicks out and rolls up Cesaro for two. Owens runs at Orton who hits the Powerslam. Both Cesaro and Owens are outside the ring ropes, so Orton grabs them both for Vintage Orton. Orton goes for an RKO on Cesaro. Cesaro kicks out. Owens grabs Orton and pulls him out of the ring, hitting a Fallaway Slam into the barricade. Cesaro flies out of the ring and knocks Owens down and out. Cesaro rolls Owens back in and goes top rope, hitting a nice Cross Body! Owens reverses it and gets a two-count! Cesaro hits a Springboard Uppercut(!) and he gets two. Cesaro hits an uppercut in the corner. Owens tries to fight out. Cesaro tries the Super Gut Wrench but Owens kicks out and tries a Swanton. Cesaro counters and puts his knees up. Cesaro runs at Owens — who nails him with a Superkick! Owens sets up for the PUPB but Cesaro leapfrogs over him…and ORTON HITS AN RKO OUT OF NOWHERE ON OWENS! Cesaro attacks Orton — and HE eats an RKO! Orton wins! (Time at 18:07.) WINNER: Randy Orton via RKO
RATING: ****. Marred only by a slow, clunky start. What a match.
Ambrose is backstage, saying how much he wanted a friend because he used to steal a lot of stuff. Reigns shows up and tells Ambrose to shut up and then says that Ambrose meant that Reigns is his only real friend. Reigns says he and Ambrose are family. Ambrose knows everything about Reigns. Reigns says that Wyatt would never go to bat for Luke Harper. They promise to beat the Wyatts.
Cole gives us a look at Lesnar vs. Taker in a nice video package.
MATCH #4: Dean Ambrose (Roman Reigns) vs. Luke Harper (w/ Bray Wyatt) Harper hits mean uppercuts in the corner. Ambrose comes back with a clothesline and hammers Harper in the corner. Ambrose hits a Sitting Clothesline. He ties Harper up on the ropes and hits some shots, then rushes Harper who hits a Side Slam for two. Bray takes Saxton’s chair away from him and sits in it outside. Harper gets dumped outside and Ambrose hits a sitting dropkick and running elbow off the mat. After a break, Harper slings’ Ambrose’s neck into the bottom rope. Side headlock by Harper but the crowd is more concerned about Byron and yells for him to “sit down”. This amuses Bray, who turns to stare at Byron, daring him to come get his chair. Harper tries for Snake Eyes but drops Ambrose on the second buckle instead. Harper puts Ambrose into the corner but Ambrose counters and hits a Tornado DDT. Harper whips Ambrose into the ropes but Ambrose hits a Sunset Flip. A series of counters and Ambrose slams Harper to the mat. Ambrose tries a Bulldog but Harper shoves Ambrose off of him and into the buckle. Harper misses an attack and both men go outside. Wyatt gets involved, so Ambrose tosses him over the announce table. Back in the ring, Harper goes for the Discus Clothesline but Ambrose rolls him up for two. Ambrose goes outside where Wyatt misses a clothesline. Reigns nails Wyatt with a Superman Punch. Harper takes out Reigns and Ambrose takes out Harper with a dive. Back in the ring, Ambrose gets hit with a Discus clothesline and Harper wins. WINNER: Luke Harper via Clothesline From Smell
RATING: **1/2. Not a bad match, just really unremarkable with an overbooked finish. The clean finish at the end really didn’t help things.
NEXT: Daniel Bryan is on MizTV.
Miz welcomes everyone to MizTV and he points out Stephen Amell at ringside. He says that once Stardust has run him over, he’ll teach Amell how to act. Miz welcomes Daniel Bryan to the ring, YES chants abound as he does. The crowd just loves him and chants his name several times. The Miz finally tries to silence the crowd. Daniel Bryan says that Miz wants them to “shut up” so they “better be quiet”. The crowd won’t shut up. Bryan says that he wasn’t gonna miss RAW in his home state of Washington. He leads them in a SEAHAWKS chant. Miz talks up the Browns, which I don’t even think Browns fans did anymore. Bryan says that Miz’s stupid Santa Claus flick will probably be a “huge success”. Miz talks up the movie, then Bryan thanks all the fans. Miz says they will “agree to disagree”. One thing they can agree on is his medical status: that Bryan is not allowed to wrestle right now. He calls Bryan a “broken toy on the shelf that nobody wants to play with. He wants to know what it’s like to sit at home and do nothing but dwell on the past. Bryan says he’s kept busy — with a book that’s a New York Times Bestseller. He also hosts Tough Enough (which he says is “the greatest show on the history of shows” while keeping a straight face). Miz says he’s been there with him. Miz says he taught Bryan everything he knows — including integrity. So he wants to know if Ryback should have some integrity and cancel the Triple Threat Match at SummerSlam and just hand the title to Miz. Big Show shows up and says that Miz just talks and has crap coming out of his mouth. He turns to Bryan — and the crowd yells for Show to retire. Show starts yelling back, telling them to find somebody to “retire him”. Ryback’s music hits and out he comes. Miz gets out of the ring with Bryan. Ryback and Show go face to face. Bryan tosses Miz in the middle of them. Miz gets to his feet and looks at both of them. He begs off and Show tosses him into Ryback, then puts Miz in the other corner. Ryback attacks and clotheslines Show, who rolls out of the ring. Miz gets to his feet with Bryan leading the crowd in YES chants. Ryback hits a Meat Hook on Miz and everyone celebrates. Nice segment.
TONIGHT: The World Title Match
Cole gives us a video package about Charlotte.
AT SUMMERSLAM: All 9 Divas in a three-team “elimination match”. Yawn…BREAK. THEM. UP. This is SO boring.
Lana is out on commentary.
MATCH #5: Rusev (w/ Summer Rae) vs. Mark Henry Mark Henry comes out with the American flag which still makes no sense since Bulgaria’s a NATO ally. Henry hits clotheslines and then one in the corner. Summer gets up on the mat. It doesn’t even matter. Rusev hits a Superkick. Lana gets up and grabs Summer, yanking her outside. Summer tosses her into the ring. Then Summer beats up Lana and the ref just says “fuck it” and asks for the bell. WINNER: No contest
RATING: DUD.
Post-match, Summer kicks at Lana and puts her in the Accolade. Then a bang and it’s the Bulgarian flag with Rusev’s face on it, which is so ridiculous, there are no words.
Cole points out Stephen Amell and we then take a look at Neville and his wild week where he almost won the WWE Title. Then we see Stardust getting in Stephen Amell’s face, which really had nothing to do with any of that, but ok.
NEXT: Neville is in action.
LAST THURSDAY ON SMACKDOWN: Stardust beat Zack Ryder and then taunted Stephen Amell and his appearance on RAW.
MATCH #6: King Barrett vs. Neville Barrett kicks Neville in the corner and then hits a Backbreaker. One-count. Barrett tries to dump him outside. Neville lands on his feet and gets to the corner but Barrett beats him up there. Barrett runs at him. Neville knees him in the face and then hits the Red Arrow. WINNER: Neville via Red Arrow
RATING: DUD.
Post-match, Stardust attacks Neville, then goes outside to taunt Stephen Amell. He shoves Amell who jumps the barrier, gets into the ring, spears Stardust, and then just wails on him until WWE Security hops into the ring to separate them. Amell and Neville shake hands as Star and Barrett walk to the back, shocked.
Amell is backstage. Triple H is not happy with Amell. Amell doesn’t care. He wants a match with Stardust. Neville wants a tag match. Triple H laughs this off and tells him that he can go to the parking lot instead and drive away. Amell says he doesn’t care what Triple H says — he will have his lawyers contact Triple H to sign any match papers. Triple H begrudgingly agrees and tells Amell that he has no idea what he’s getting into. They shake on it — then Amell is escorted from the building.
JoJo has Sheamus backstage. He doesn’t know who to root for in tonight’s main event. This segment goes on far too long as Sheamus teases cashing in tonight.
MATCH #7: Randy Orton (challenger) vs. Seth Rollins (champion) for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship Rollins bails from the ring to start, so that’s great. Finally, Rollins beats Orton in the corner. Orton shoves Rollins into the corner and goes for an RKO but Rollins escapes and leaves the ring. After break, Rollins has Orton in a headlock. Orton breaks and Rollins clotheslines him to the mat or something. Looked like he missed a Bulldog or a botch. Rollins splashes Orton in the corner, then hits a neckbreaker. Orton comes back with clotheslines after Orton headbutts him. He misses the Powerslam but rolls up Rollins for two. Then he hits the Powerslam. Two count. Rollins is pissed and leaves the ring, going for his title. He tries to leave but Orton attacks him and drops him on the announce table. Back in the ring, Rollins tries to run again. Orton chases. Rollins elbows him and tries to toss him into the ref. Orton stops himself. Rollins rolls him up for two. He argues with the ref after the two count. Orton rolls him up for two. Rollins gets to his feet and superkicks Orton. Rollins goes top rope but Orton gets up and knocks him off. Orton gets up and hits the Superplex and NEARLY gets a three count. Rollins gets to his feet and goes for the Pedigree. Orton counters and goes for Vintage Orton. That gets countered and Rollins nails him with an Enzuguri. Rollins goes for Vintage Orton instead and he hits it. Rollins sets up for an RKO but doesn’t. Pedigree instead. Orton counters, then tosses him outside the ring ropes. Rollins lands on his feet and goes for a Springboard but Orton hits an RKO! He goes for the pin — but Sheamus grabs him and pulls him out of the ring for the DQ at around 13:11. WINNER: Randy Orton via DQ
STILL CHAMPION: Seth Rollins
RATING: ***. Not bad, but a bit short, too routine and a horrible way to continue the lame Sheamus/Orton feud.
Post-match, Sheamus runs into the ring and tells the ref he wants to cash in his briefcase. This seemingly takes the referee 2 years to understand as Sheamus yells “CASH IT IN” about six times before the ref finally gets the case from him. Orton gets in the ring and RKO’s him, standing tall as we go off the air.
OVERALL: Not a bad RAW tonight. Nicely done. Stephen Amell’s Stardust angle is fun, the IC Title picture’s finally coming back into the spotlight and SummerSlam is shaping up to have a good card — provided everyone’s healthy and shows up.
Pretty Little Liars
Season 6, Episode 8: GAme Over ChArles
Air Date: Tuesday, August 11, 2015
Pretty Little Liars has concluded its Summer of Answers by answering many long-awaited questions, but also creating a great deal of new ones, and even more controversy.
But, before A’s identity is revealed, the Liars need to escape the enchanted forest.
At the prom, Aria sees a red caped figure reflecting off of 5 different mirrors, but since she hasn’t been right about anything this season, no one believes her. Hanna scoffs at Aria, saying that it is impossible for anyone else to be in the forest because they are trapped. Hanna, it turns out, is the secret key to their escape because when she states “there is no way out of here” two wooden fences separate like the red sea as though she had said “open sesame.” The girls proceed through the opening where Mona is waiting for them sporting a demon mask and a red cape. Mona has been following Ali for the past two days, but lost her when the Scooby gang jumped Clark. Ah, so that’s where Mona’s been hiding for the past few episodes. Mona pulls out her tablet, and she is so lost in her brilliance that she unable to finish a sentence to explain what she is doing. Turns out Charles has his own cellular network (take that AT&T) with its servers located at the Carassimi Group!
When the six girls arrive at the Carassimi group they spot movers throwing large duffles bags into the back of a truck right outside the building. Hanna gets worried that the bags contain Ali’s severed limbs. Has Hanna never watched Dexter? Those bags are way too soft and light to contain human limbs. The rest of the girls obviously have watched Dexter, and assure Hanna that Ali is most likely not in a duffle. When inside the girls try to crack the code to get into Carassimi vault. They try every date that they can think of. Mona tries Mrs. D’s birthday which apparently she knows by heart
Mona:I’m a self taught identicor.
Spencer: That’s not a learned skill, that’s a phenomenon.
I literally have no idea what either of them are saying in this interaction, but I LOVE it. Sara catches Emily’s eye and sheepishly asks permission to address the other Liars. When the permission is granted she provides the Liars with a date that opens the vault. That’s not suspicious or anything.
They walk into the room, and it is just a boring room… until all of a sudden, the wall slides apart and they are transported thirty years into the future in Dr. Harrison Wells lab. Wait, this isn’t the time jump that everyone has been talking about? Am I not watching The Flash? Oh, my bad. Apparently this high-tech sanctuary is very much still whatever time continuum PLL usually exists in. Hanna is creeped out by the room asking the others if they just walked into A’s brain, while Spencer looks around in and replies “Yes, I think we just did” as a look of amusement covers face.
Sara does not enter A’s brain though, saying the extremely large room is too small to fit her and on cue, the vault shuts, locking the girls inside All of a sudden, a holographic TV screen appears in the middle of the room streaming a live feed of Alison, A and a paralyzed but conscious Jason and Mr. D.
A slowly turns around to reveal herself. AND IT IS CECE!
Ladies and Gentleman: CECE DRAKE IS A.
Before I continue with this storyline, I wanted to make a few things clear. In this recap I will be referring to A as A, Cece or her chosen name Charlotte. I will not use her dead name (unless it is a direct quote). There are a lot of issues with having the A be a transgender character, but I do not feel that this is the right forum to discuss it. I would urge that you read the essay that Heather Hogan wrote over at Autostraddle that addresses such issues including the show referring to A as “he” and “Charles” all season as well as representation of trans women in media.
Cece starts to tell Ali the story, from the very beginning. From the moment that Ali was born, she loved her little sister. One day though, Mrs. D was outside in the garden playing with Jason so she put three-year old Cece in charge of watching infant Ali. When infant Ali began to cry, Cece tried to comfort her by putting her in a warm bath, but because most three-year olds don’t know how to properly bathe an infant she accidentally dropped her sister into a tub of scorching hot water. Mr. D comes out of whatever hole he was hiding in to save Ali from drowning and uses this as a perfect excuse to get rid of, and institutionalize, his “son who likes to wear girls clothing.”
Mr. DiLaurentis did not visit his daughter the entire time she was in Radley. Fortunately though her mother came to visit her. Jessica would buy two sets of all clothing, one for Alison, and one to bring to Charlotte. One day at Radley, Charlotte was chilling on the roof of Radley with Bethany Young while wearing one of the dresses her mother bought for her. While fantasizing about escaping, Charlotte reveals a nugget of wisdom her mother bestowed upon her “nothing is more believable than a really good lie.” Again, Mrs. D, you got those parenting skills down pat!
They are interrupted though when Mrs. Cavanaugh joins them on the roof. First, does Radley just leave the door to roof unlocked every night? Second, why are three years olds put in the same mental institution as forty-year olds? Out of nowhere, Bethany pushes Mrs. Cavanaugh off the roof, and then blames it all on Charlotte. No one, not even her mother, believed that Charlotte was innocent, and Jessica paid off Wilden to rule the death as a suicide.
I think that Emily has the most accurate reaction to the story:
“Mr. D abandoned him and Mrs. D taught Charles how to be A.”
After the incident Charlotte was then misdiagnosed with Intermittent Explosive Disorder and doped up on a cocktail of meds for several year, while crazy Bethany walked around scott free. Finally though, after almost killing her, the Radley staff let her out to attend Charles’ funeral at which time she transitioned, and took the name Charlotte. Somehow, Mrs. D was able to re-institutionalize her daughter without a single doctor at Radley realizing she already had been a patient. What did they think that Mrs. DiLaurentis magically adopted a 16-year-old that looked just like her other child just to put them in Radley?
Charlotte spent the rest of her time at Radley getting really, really smart. So smart that she was granted privileges to attend classes as UPenn, an Ivy league school, without applying or taking her SATs. She uses this time to get to know and date her brother and get him to invite her to Cape May (don’t worry Charlotte makes it clear there was no funny business between her and Jason). Poor Jason, he has now officially dated two out of his four sisters. When Mrs. D finally discovers what Charlotte has been doing, she flips a shit and says the worst possible thing she could say to her daughter “All this time you have been pretending to go to school while you have been running around Rosewood with my children.” The hits keep on coming though, when Charlotte then learns that her father doesn’t even know she is still alive, he thinks her body is buried in Aunt Carol’s front yard. Let’s give a hand to another example of Mrs. DiLaurentis exemplar parenting skills.
And then finally Charlotte reveals the mystery that has been looming since the pilot, what happened that night in the barn. When Bethany found out that Jessica was having an affair with her father, she freaks out (Man, Mrs. DiLaurentis really gets around). She stole Charlotte’s clothes (which happened to be the exact same outfit Ali picked out for the night) and snuck out of Radley to and kill Mrs. D. Charlotte came to her mother’s rescue and bashed the blonde girl in the back of the head with a rock. But she made a mistake, it wasn’t Bethany she hit, it was her sister. Meanwhile, a hop skip and a jump away, Mona came to Spencer’s backyard to confront Alison. When she see’s the yellow shirted blond girl, her mind is filled with rage so she bashes her in the head with a shovel. Lo and behold this blonde haired girl was indeed Bethany. I think the moral of this story is check to see who you are killing before you hit someone in the back of the head.
Mrs. DiLaurentis runs outside, and grabs a shovel and starts digging a grave for Alison in the front yard. She doesn’t double check to see if her daughter is maybe NOT dead, instead she just starts to dig a grave for another one of the daughters.This is becoming Jessica’s MO. Another one of Jessica’s MOs, pay a dirty cop to make sure your daughter doesn’t get arrested for murder, and send her back to Radley.
During Charlotte’s’ next stint at Radley, she meets a very strung out Mona. Charlotte would sneak in her room every night for story time. She got Mona to tell her all about the girls and how she fucked up their lives for fun, and Charlotte became obsessed. She made a deal with Mona; if Mona helped Charlotte escape Radley, Charlotte would continue the A game for her on the outside.
Charlotte’s first order of business: befriend the Liars. But where could she possibly find these girls? Is there a place that they all meet to drink coffee at least 5 times a day? You got it, Cece headed to The Brew where she practice her best Ali impression on the girls. When Charlotte leaves The Brew , and looks through the window at the girls, THERE IS A TV SCREEN. The show legit put a TV screen behind a window, for Cece to look at instead of real people. That is so lazy on the show’s part, it is ridiculous.
As Cece started torturing the girls more and more, she noticed that there was a girl in the red coat following them around. She had a hunch that this was her younger sister but couldn’t be quite sure because she killed Ali two years prior, and then watched her mother bury Ali before her eyes. So Charlotte comes up with a fool-proof plan, trap the liars to force Alison out into the open and find out if she is alive. She couldn’t do it alone though, she needed the help of her own red coat who is…. dun dun dun…. SARA FUCKING HARVEY. Wanna know who else Sara fucking Harvey is, Black Widow! Man, Sara gets around.
Emily is distraught to hear that her new boo works for the evil mastermind who tried to kill her, and pretended to be kidnapped for 2 years. Aria turns to Emily, and scoffs “Really Emily, you had no idea?” Just kidding, only Emily says things like that to people after they realize they have been used and abused. The girls all feel really bad for Emily, because apparently she has suffered the most, and finally try to find a way out. Spencer looks around the room, and Sherlock Holmes the shit out of it. She realizes that all the lights on only one of the panels are blinking in a constant pattern if, which means that it must be a secret pathway behind it. Mona removes the heel of her stilettos to reveal a blade which she uses to demolish the wall. Seriously, Mona and Spencer need to have a spin-off where they just fight crime together. While the other girls go to save Ali, Mona stays behind to see how the story ends.
The girls use the teleport function of Charlotte’s lair, and instantaneously arrive at the Second Floor West Wing of Radley to find Sara assembling a bomb. Charlotte’s end game is to blow up Radley with her entire family inside. When she goes to push the detonator though nothing happens. Did the pitch of Sara’s voice defuse the bomb? No, Spencer comes to the rescue and diffuses the bomb.
Yes, you read that right. Spencer knows how to diffuse a fucking bomb and she doesn’t even have the intersect in her head! I will let everyone take a second to let the awesomeness of Spencer’s new skill sink in.
And then, in the only productive thing Emily has done this season, Emily grabs the hood of Sara’s red coat, and sucker punches her in the face.
Ali joins the Liars as they head to the roof to find Charlotte. They are trying to convince her not to jump. She climbs down the ledge, takes off her mask and black hood and says “Game Over.”
Labor Day
Flash forward to Labor day weekend as all the Liars drive off to college at the same exact time. Somehow between their senior prom and labor day, all four girls were able to complete and submit their applications and get accepted into college. Aria is attending SCAD in Savanah, GA, Spencer will be attending Georgetown, and Emily is going to Pepperdine University. No one said where Hanna was going, so I will assume she is living in a Tribeca loft with Caleb while attending FIT. Spencer quotes Winnie the Pooh and my heart grows three times bigger, as they say their final goodbye and head to their cars to drive into the next chapter of their lives. Yes, they are all DRIVING to college by themselves with no parental help. This means that Emily will spend the next week driving her Toyota (which she won at the season one’s homecoming dance) from Rosewood, PA to Pepperdine University in Malibu, California, and Hanna will spend an hour or so trying to find parking once she arrives in New York City. Great way to start off the next chapter.
5 Years Later (Time Jump Three)
All of a sudden, the PLL writers hit the “live” button on their DVR, and the show is five years into the future, meaning that I think that the show is back to real-time, but who can be sure. The four grown up Liars come back to Rosewood to warn Mrs. Alison DiLaurentis-Rollins that “he” has come to Rosewood for Ali and they need to run!
Hanna Quote of the Week
Hanna: “Wait, you don’t think that’s Ali’s chopped up body in those bags, is it?”
Spencer: Hanna!
Hanna: What, isn’t that we were all thinking.
Everyone else in unison: NO!
Things that Have NOT been answered
Why did the girls get kidnapped and tortured?
How did CeCe know Sara?
Who Killed Mrs. D?
Are the mom’s still in the basement (follow-up question: if yes, do they have enough wine for five years?)
Sony recently revealed a revamped Playstation Plus program. They announced that they would now allow gamers to vote on which games they would like to see become free for the upcoming month. Little details were revealed at the time, but now more light has been shown onto the program.
Beginning Thursday, August 13, and running until Monday, August 24, Playstation owners will be able to vote on three titles: Zombie Vikings, Grow Home, and Armello. To cast your vote, Playstation Plus members must click on the new ‘Vote’ button on the PlayStation Store (It will also appear under the ‘What’s New’ section). If you’re an indecisive person such as myself, you can even change your vote, simply by logging back in and amending your choice. The voting isn’t tallied until August 24.
After the votes have been counted (by hand I’m assuming), the winner will become free starting in September. The 2 additional games (also known as the losers) will receive discounts. This sounds like a great opportunity for developers to really build the hype for their upcoming titles, and also shows Playstation which games fans are most excited to see.
Are you excited for this new Playstation Plus initiative? Are you disappointed with the game selection? Let us know in the comments down below!
The trailer to Quentin Tarantino’s TheHateful Eight is here at last.
Here’s the official synopsis:
In THE HATEFUL EIGHT, set six or eight or twelve years after the Civil War, a stagecoach hurtles through the wintry Wyoming landscape. The passengers, bounty hunter John Ruth (Kurt Russell) and his fugitive Daisy Domergue (Jennifer Jason Leigh), race towards the town of Red Rock where Ruth, known in these parts as “The Hangman,” will bring Domergue to justice. Along the road, they encounter two strangers: Major Marquis Warren (Samuel L. Jackson), a black former union soldier turned infamous bounty hunter, and Chris Mannix (Walton Goggins), a southern renegade who claims to be the town’s new Sheriff. Losing their lead on the blizzard, Ruth, Domergue, Warren and Mannix seek refuge at Minnie’s Haberdashery, a stagecoach stopover on a mountain pass. When they arrive at Minnie’s, they are greeted not by the proprietor but by four unfamiliar faces. Bob (Demian Bichir), who’s taking care of Minnie’s while she’s visiting her mother, is holed up with Oswaldo Mobray (Tim Roth), the hangman of Red Rock, cow-puncher Joe Gage (Michael Madsen), and Confederate General Sanford Smithers (Bruce Dern). As the storm overtakes the mountainside stopover, our eight travelers come to learn they may not make it to Red Rock after all…
The film comes out in theaters on January 8, 2016.
Adult Swim has officially renewed Rick and Morty, the half-hour animated series from Dan Harmon and Justin Roiland for a third season.
“It’s an honor to see Rick and Morty join the exclusive club of shows with over nineteen episodes,” said co-creator and executive producer Dan Harmon. “It’s time to demand that the network allow us to draw the characters going to Hawaii.”
“I am blown away by the seemingly instant success of Rick and Morty. I look forward to continuing their adventures!” said co-creator and executive producer Justin Roiland.
Rick and Morty’s season two premiere ranked #1 in its time period among all key adults and men and charted triple-digit delivery gains over its prior season premiere (P18-24 +154%, P18-34 +117%, P18-49 +121%). The television audience continued to grow in the series’ second week, charting week-over-week gains of up to 27% among all key demos.
Last week, Paige pulled a Miz and saved GiGi, who nobody wanted on the show (a running theme) and this sent Chelsea home. Meanwhile, Amanda is somehow on the show with ZZ. I have a bad feeling that those two are the last two standing at the end of all this. Both WWE and who ever is voting deserve what they get after that. Anyhow, let’s steer this baby toward port…
We start with clips from RAW when John Cena got his nose bashed in. He’s on the show tonight because clips from last week don’t move the needle.
FULL SAIL UNIVERSITY
Arena Jericho and Renee welcome us to Tough Enough and plug John Cena. Hey, did you know he’s ON THE SHOW TONIGHT?! We say hello to the judges. Daniel Byran loves Amanda because nobody loves her and he loves that nobody loves her. Paige: Josh, don’t fuck up. Miz likes ZZ but doesn’t think he can be a WWE superstart.
WWE PERFORMANCE CENTER
Barracks Chris Jericho is waiting for the recruits in the kitchen. There are two pizzas which, to Amanda, is LIKE OMG SO AMAZING because there are “two pizzas and Chris Jericho”! They eat and share their feelings. GiGi is frustrated because she’s been “showing what it takes” and nothing is happening. Amanda bashes the others for being in the bottom three “four times” but neglects to mention that she was technically eliminated but was saved because Miz was horny. Sara says it’s awesome hanging out and hearing his stories which start at “I only won the title when I was a heel” and include other choice nuggets like, “…and then his wife told me, ‘Is that all you GOT, Jericho?'” GiGi tells Jericho that her favorite match was Lita vs. Trish. She loves the part where Lita nearly broke her neck but finished the match anyhow. ZZ liked Triple H vs. Lesnar in a steel cage at Extreme Rules. Sara loved when Lesnar beat ‘Taker at WrestleMania XXX even though it made her and everyone else sick. Jericho says that all the drama in those matches was due to storytelling. That’s what the recruits have to do. Then Jericho says it’s time to get everyone’s drink on and encourages everyone to get toxic drunk, picking up the bottle of Fireball Whiskey that nobody wants to drink because it’s complete bullshit. They do Tequila instead.
When morning comes, the recruits look hungover. Tanner is dead in bed. Jericho claps his hands loudly to wake him up, threatening to get in bed with him if he doesn’t wake. When he gets up, he looks terrible. Sara Lee says that he’s still drunk as fuck and can smell the booze coming off of him. He stares vacantly as Josh calls him a “Cabbage Patch Trainwreck”. The girls make fun of him as he sits there, staring. Finally, he speaks and says he has the liver of a champion. We’re tellin’ stories here, people.
Gym Booker, Dogg and Lita says that stories are told in the ring with every move. Jericho gets involved with the festivities and Jericho tells her to stop smiling. The recruits are paired off to put together stories that are told in the ring. Tanner wants to do one where he pisses off GiGi by “cheating on her with her friend”. For Tanner, I’m not sure that’s fiction. Josh says ZZ is the underdog and he’s the “big guy” ZZ has to defeat. In true twist, ZZ calls Josh “the big alligator” and calls himself “the little Cajun boy” that will beat him. Amanda plays the “cocky girl” who likes to beat up “the nice girl”, then says she’s “taking charge” of this production. They work with Jericho, Booker, Dogg and Lita to finish this up. Last, but not least, the recruits are told that NXT superstars are here to watch their stories.
ZZ vs. Josh Josh is the big, bad monster who dominates ZZ for most of the match, destroying him in each way possible until the he’s declared the winner. Yay? Booker thinks it’s good while Lita thinks ZZ needs more confidence.
Sara Lee vs. Amanda Amanda poses until Sara knocks her down. Sara comes back with one of her own. Sara ends up winning by body slam but she won’t stop smiling. All the judges verbally fellate Amanda, however. Lita and Dogg think the smile needs to go. Booker pissed that this isn’t a game. The WWE Divas don’t do that, he says, having apparently never watched a shitty Divas match.
Tanner vs. GiGi Jericho has to point out that GiGi’s the babyface because nobody can tell who any of these people are supposed to be. GiGi hits a mean hip toss. Tanner chickens out and goes for the ropes. When GiGi chases, he schoolboys her and wins, then bails from the ring. Booker likes what he sees but nobody really saw the story. A+ for showmanship, though.
Josh is named the big winner of the day. Worst of the day is Sara Lee.
FULL SAIL UNIVERSITY
Arena Paige is impressed with ZZ in the ring. Bryan says that smiling’s OK but Sara has NO idea when she’s supposed to. Paige agrees. They also praise Tanner for showing personality.
AND OMG!!! JOHN CENA IS NEXT!!!
WWE PERFORMANCE CENTER
Barracks Josh and Tanner shoot pool. Josh cannot believe how awful Tanner got while he was smashed. Josh calls Tanner “hungover 24/7”. Amanda and GiGi compare Tweets. GiGi reads one where a Twitter user calls all the recruits “porn star look-alikes”. Amanda reads another Tweet that says that Amanda is pretty but her attitude makes her ugly. A really NICE Tweet compares her to a stoplight because “they both work corners”. They laugh and pretend this is all OK and sweet. Another Tweeter wishes that “Amanda’s boobs would explode all over the ring!” This is a LAFF RIOT!!!
FULL SAIL UNIVERSITY
Arena John Cena is here and NOT ONE PERSON BOOS HIM. Cena thinks that Tough Enough is great because it’s one giant story about “growth”. He gives a very eloquent speech, wishing them all the very best in their journey. We waste another few minutes discussing Cena’s broken nose and whether or not he should go to SummerSlam. Daniel Bryan leads a YES! chant. Cena leaves. I’ll miss him.
When we come back from break, Miz is not happy with Tanner because he got blitzed and sucked it the next day. Everyone’s impressed with ZZ for “shaking the ropes” and “showing emotion”. They’re all unimpressed with Sara for “showing emotion”. ZZ, looking like a swamp-based G.I. Joe action figure, grins from ear to ear.
BOTTOM 3:
Miz chooses Tanner: He has no charisma
Paige chooses Sara: She’s a “C+ Player”.
Daniel Bryan chooses GiGi: She didn’t get cheered.
PLEAS:
GiGi: She has no regrets and has give 100% of herself to this. She has no back-up plan.
Tanner: He has a great personality. Plus, Miz is wrong. The judges all liked him. He’s also improved.
Sarah Lee: Paige does this to her all the time and all she does is improve week after week.
ZZ thinks Tanner should go home because he has no charisma. What a coincidence: so does Tanner. Amanda wants Sara Lee gone in a Shyamalan twist.
Daniel Bryan wants to save nobody in a moment that takes WAY too long and unintentionally funny.
GOING HOME: GiGi
Not surprised and no fucks are given. She could have gone home last week if Paige hadn’t saved her for no reason to one-up Miz.
GiGi sobs into the microphone to end the show.
OVERALL: These things are a hell of a lot easier to write the more the cast is whittled down. Quick and harmless, the show’s quality to a big leap this weak thanks to the aforementioned factor.
This is still early news and we don’t know what kind of role Spears might play, but let’s hope for Jane the Virgin‘s sake it’s in the same vein as the David Bisbal guest appearance (AKA best scene) on the show and not a recurring gimmick.
UPDATE: It looks as though Spears will be an acting role. I think I’m okay with her playing Rogelio’s nemesis.
This is an early access review, which means that things are likely to change or be added to the game. With that in mind, I will only review content that which was available as of August 10th, 2015.
Leap of Fateis an indie roguelike game by Clever-Plays that combines RPG elements with MOBA-style gameplay. Basically, it’s League of Legends meets Diablo with permadeath. You take on the role of a technomancer and traverse the Deck of Fate defeating level after level of baddies, improving skills and stats along the way.
A simple game to grasp, Leap of Fate holds your hand through the fast-paced introduction, teaching the basic mechanics of the game. Left-click to shoot, space bar to shadow dash, and so on. But don’t let the simplicity fool you. Leap of Fate isn’t exactly an easy game. There is no passive heal or attack power regen. The only way to do that is to either get drops or get lucky enough to draw a summon resources card where you can then spend your hard-earned mana to make it through the next few levels. And if you’re very lucky, you might get a few permanent upgrades to your character in the form of new power attacks, movement speed, and so on, which you’ll need because like any roguelike, you’re going to die. A lot.
Each level consists of a hand of tarot cards, and once you beat the first card, choices appear. Usually they appear in the form of “more enemies, higher rewards” versus “fewer enemies, lower rewards,” but sometimes you’ll get an altar card or a boss card to move you to the next level. Most of the time your choice is dictated by your health and skill level. I went in guns blazing early on and then quickly got knocked back down to earth because I’m not as good as I think I am. And in Leap of Fate, once you die, you’re dead and have to start all over. Hopefully you nabbed a permanent boost to help increase your chances the next go around.
If I had one big issue with Leap of Fate it’d be the lack of depth in the game. It’s fun enough to play for a round or two, twenty minutes here and there, but in early access, there isn’t much content so it’s easy to push it to the side. In less than two hours I felt as though I’d already explored what the game had to offer, with only one technomancer and a handful of different attacks. Each level feels similar to the last and though they’re randomly generated, I started to get bored with the scenery. The variation in mobs, however, was nicely done and the music was perfect for the cyberpunk setting.
All that being said, I have hope that Leap of Fate will be an entertaining game. I appreciate the speed and the challenge of the game, not wasting any time to jump into the action. The developers have a lot planned for the future and I’m excited to try out the new characters as they come along with different mechanics. I wish Clever-Plays had released at least one more technomancer before the game’s early access launch, as that’s the biggest hindrance in score for me right now.
PLAYING HOUSE Season 2, Episode 3: “Cashmere Burka”
RATING: B-
In last season’s episode, “Unfinished Business”, we learned that Emma and her mother, Gwen (Jane Kaczmarek), have a very precarious relationship. They don’t see eye-to-eye and Emma has chosen to keep away from her Mom as a result. Instead of choosing therapy to work through the long-standing issues with her daughter, Gwen writes aggressive Slam Poetry — under the pseudonym, Phylicia Rashad. Yes, that Phylicia Rashad. Anyone can relate with both these women. Her mother feels unappreciated for past deeds done in the name of her kid and Emma feels like her Mom’s self-crucifixion is complete melodrama on the way to a nice, painful guilt trip.
And in the middle of it all is Maggie who plays peacekeeper because she’s friends with both women — something Emma absolutely abhors with every fiber of her being.
“Cashmere Burka” is our re-introduction to Gwen. It’s also the name of a stage play which she’s written under the pen name, “Nell Carter” because “it’s not the ‘right time’ for Phylicia Rashad anymore,” Gwen explains, an obvious nod to current events. She wrote it as another form of self-therapy, her “Gwenaissance”, as it were. Maggie thinks it’s a work of art.
Emma’s thoughts?
“What’s it about? A ‘J.Crew’ opening in Afghanistan?”
Then Emma pumps her fist to celebrate her own zinger. Style points, baby.
This is the relationship Emma and Gwen have, for better or for worse. It can’t get worse…can it?
Oh, yes…Gwen has tapped Maggie to direct the play, something Maggie calls an “honor” — and also something that makes Emma want to throw up in her mouth. It stars some of the townsfolk and Mark on sets and props. He’s takes pride in his crafty nature (as if painting Emma and Maggie’s house wasn’t a big enough hint), comparing himself to Bob Vila. It’s too bad he’s dealing with Gwen — who wants him to build a “bay window” on short notice. When he fails to do so, she makes fun of his V-neck sweater, a wardrobe choice of his wife, “Bird Bones”. Then she makes him build a giant vagina. Why? Because “She’s lost. Her. Mind.” Mark declares. And he should know — he’s married to one of the craziest people in town.
But as the play nears, things get more intense: a friend of Gwen’s finds out about the play thanks to Maggie who had no idea that Gwen wanted to keep it a secret. In a fit of rage, Gwen fires Emma from the production for forgetting her lines. While Maggie finds rejection hard to accept, Emma’s only so eager to leave the stage, yelling at her Mom all the live-long day. Maggie only joins her when she crosses Gwen at the wrong time. Suddenly, Maggie’s on Emma’s side, much to Emma’s dark delight. She even makes it a point to ask Maggie to let her have this moment. She told Maggie that her Mom was like this — but Maggie just chose to turn a blind eye to Gwen’s flaws.
After venting to Emma, Maggie seeks to resolve the issue with Gwen — only to find out that she’s holed up in the women’s bathroom. At first, Emma and Gwen begin to throw verbal bombs at one another but Maggie separates them and tells Emma to go into a bathroom stall. It’s here that we learn that Gwen’s afraid. She’s not brave. She thinks that everyone out there is ready to see her as a fraud. In her emotional state, she reveals that Emma and Maggie are more brave than she’ll ever be…but as Maggie points out, they’re only that way because women like Gwen made them that way.
This episode is heavy on schmaltz but, thankfully, doesn’t lose itself and become a comedy sitcom-cum-tearjerker. The problem is that the humor and awkward moments with Gwen don’t always mix, so the episode feels a bit uneven. Gwen’s a puzzle you want to solve — but also stay away from — and that really hurts the episode rather than helps it. She’s just plain unpleasant. What also doesn’t help is the also-awkward b-story between Emma and her new guy, Dan (Kyle Bornheimer). While the two of them seem to have some chemistry, the quick physical nature of their relationship seemed both forced and rushed. It also doesn’t help that Dan’s character is a Rabbi and that he can’t be seen in public making physical contact with Emma — a strange little plot foible that’s resolved in all of five minutes, begging the question of why it actually existed at all.
Still, the episode is enjoyable for what it is, with the best moment coming after the play goes on: the cast and crew mingle with the audience. Gwen’s “friend” Betty approaches Gwen to criticize the play, calling it “too raw for her taste”. Gwen, for the first time, accepts this criticism and simply thanks Betty for “coming out and supporting her”, which drives Betty to the theater exit. Maggie looks stunned. Gwen immediately snorts that Betty’s arms looked fat (she was wearing a tunic). Maggie chides her and says she thought Betty looked great. Gwen snaps her head at Maggie and tells her to let her “have this moment” — just as Emma asked Maggie earlier in the show.
That “moment”, whether Maggie knows it or not, is where we realize that, for all their differences, Gwen and Emma have a lot in common.
How do you review a game like Rare Replay for Xbox One? There have been other collections and special editions in the past, but nothing has come close to what Rare has provided with this impressive package. It is like a virtual history book into the world of Rare, one which includes the good and the bad.
When it comes to overall value, $30 for 30 games seems like an awesome price to most, but its true value will likely come down to the kind of games you prefer. Everyone that has enjoyed Rare games in the past will absolutely find something to love, and I can’t imagine everyone else not finding a favorite of their own.
For this writer, it would have to be Kameo: Elements of Power. This was much to my surprise, as I thought that it would for sure be Jet Force Gemini, but some of the games don’t hold up nearly as well as I’d hoped. This is actually a double-edged sword for the collection.
Part of the fun of Rare Replay is that it keeps these games as they were originally designed. This works in the favor of retro classics like Jetpac and Battletoads, as well as modern day games like Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bokts and the aforementioned Kameo. The problem arises with the middle ground, mainly the Nintendo 64 era games like Jet Force Gemini and Conker’s Bad Fur Day.
The games are plagued with frame rate issues and odd control choices, such as having the analog controls for the camera being inverted with no way to switch it. Once again, this is not a problem with the games per say, but is more a product of their time.
After years of innovation, some things are just difficult to go back to. I absolutely adored Jet Force Gemini when it first released on the Nintendo 64, even going as far to say it was my favorite game from that generation. Playing this game again quickly removed my rose-tinted glasses of the past, but I still love the memories I had with the game.
These are all things that Rare has said will be fixed in the future. They have already addressed a few of these issues with a patch, so I am assuming more changes will be coming in the near future. Rare has even stated that more games may be added to the collection down the line.
When it comes to presentation, everything brought to the table is top notch. From the introduction video as you start the game, to the menus and “posters” as you go between games, all show the love and dedication Rare has for its history.
Rare even lets you behind the curtain on past, present, and cancelled games. As you play the many different titles in the collection, you will unlock stamps. Each stamp gets added to your stamp book. Once the stamp book is full, you will unlock all sorts of behind the scenes content. This is something any video game historian will love.
One other additional feature worth mentioning is the “rewind” button. Rare implemented this as a way to subdue some of the monstrous difficultly spikes in their past catalog (we’re looking at you Battletoads). I actually find this to be a cheat in a way, as it allows you to easily complete high score achievements without the time and effort you would normally need to put in. At the same time, however, it will allow you to finish games that you may have never gotten the chance to complete in the past (I’m looking at you again Battletoads)(*Editor’s Note: That game is impossible without it!).
One feature that I am slightly disappointed in is the multiplayer. While the collection does feature online multiplayer for any of the games that were released on the Xbox 360, such as Kameo and Viva Piñata, the older titles in the collection only feature couch co-op. I was really looking forward to finally pummeling my way through Battletoads with some friends online, but it looks like I won’t get that opportunity (unless it is patched in at a later date).
Overall, the Rare Replay collection is a cherished look into the past, of not only Rare, but the evolution of the video game medium as a whole. This is a great experience for older gamers that want to relive their favorite gaming memories, and for younger games who want to see how we got to where we are today. If you own an Xbox One, Rare Replay is definitely one to add to your collection.
The worlds of pro-wrestling and comic books are finally set to clash tonight as Stephen Amell, star of WB’s Arrow, is scheduled to appear on tonight’s episode WWE Monday Night RAW on the USA Network.
Stars such as Hugh Jackman and William Shatner have guest-hosted in the past — but this is more than just a simple publicity appearance. Amell and WWE’s “Stardust” have been feuding for the last three months, stemming from an appearance Amell made on the May 25th edition of RAW.
It all started on Memorial Day. Stephen Amell was rumored to be at RAW and, if tradition held true, he’d also have a ringside seat for the night’s action. Stardust seemed excited by the notion that a hero was in his “lair” and Tweeted this before showtime:
As Stardust’s revised gimmick (don’t tell him it’s a “gimmick”, though — he hates that) is inspired by comic book character, “Mr. Sinister”, his confrontation with Amell felt almost like a natural move.
After Stardust’s match with WWE’s own superhero, Neville, Stardust talked to JoJo Offerman backstage, calling out Amell. Gone was any pretense of Amell being a “mild-mannered fan”. Stardust declared that he had simply exposed his secret identity — and took joy in doing so.
How did Amell react to Stardust’s invitation to RAW? He dared Stardust to watch himself…
But Cody, like any supervillain worth his salt, reveled in Amell’s anger, posting a pseudo-psychotic offer of “friendship” — and beckoned Amell to come back to RAW…
For the next month, Amell seemed silent on the idea of being involved with WWE in any way, shape or form, save for a Tweet from The Miz in July. Amell responded accordingly:
But, seemingly out of nowhere, Stardust returned in mid-July from an “anti-superhero” campaign, defeating Neville in action on RAW. After the match, Stardust left a warning on the arena’s bathroom mirror:
At first, this seemed like the end of a long feud — until Stardust showed up to taunt Neville and declared that “arrows, no matter what color, always come crashing down while stars last eternal.”
Amell struck back with a vengeance, declaring that Stardust was beginning to cross a line by insulting The Green Arrow…
@StardustWWE — you can insult me all you want. When you start insulting The Green Arrow & all it represents you’re towing a fine line. — Stephen Amell (@amellywood) July 24, 2015
He would later call out Stardust and any of his minions for being all talk and no action:
Ever ready to battle, Stardust took to not only insulting Amell and Green Arrow — but, also John Cena, threatening to break Amell’s nose, just as Rollins broke Cena’s:
Even WWE’s Eden, a woman with a “strange affiliation” to Stardust got into the act, hyping up a match between the actor and the wrestler — but Amell warned her to be careful with what she wished for:
Noted WWE artist, Rob Schamberger, also put in his two cents, posting a beautiful painting, representing the feud between the two…but Amell dismissed it, saying that the fight was “wishful thinking”:
Once again, Amell warned Stardust to back off, saying he was close to coming back to RAW:
Hey @StardustWWE – I’m not a wrestler. But if you keep calling me out, I’m going to come to Raw and punch you right in the mouth. — Stephen Amell (@amellywood) July 28, 2015
Stardust responded in kind, posting a video of him on WWE Smackdown, attacking R-Truth after telling Truth that he had “failed his city”. Neville saved Truth from certain doom — but the damage had been done. Stardust even bragged about what he had done to Amell:
If Stardust had any fear over Amell’s impending arrival, he certainly didn’t show it…
. . .↘️kid is in way over his head. . . — Stardust (@StardustWWE) August 4, 2015
And he would sit down for an interview with Michael Cole, where he’d tell Cole that Amell simply had “everyone fooled”. This angered Amell again and he simply turned Stardust’s words around on him:
This is the very struggle between good and evil…right vs. wrong…a Green Arrow vs. the darkest matter in the galaxy…and it’d be a crime if we didn’t give you a little hype reel to end this…
Joining the cast of ABC Family’s Shadowhuntersin guest starring roles are Stephanie Bennett, Paulino Nunes and Jack Fulton.
Bennett will be playing Lydia Branwell, a new character created just for the TV series. She is described as an abrasive badass young shadowhunter, who has suffered tremendous loss in her life. According to showrunner Ed Decter Lydia has an important role to play.
“We had to sort of bring Idris to the Institute! We need that larger story you have in the novels about the Accords and the role that the original families play in the history of the shadowhunters, so we had to bring someone to the Institute to embody that,“ said Decter.
FYI Idris is the capital city of the fictional shadowhunter homeland of Alicante.
Also, if you are a book reader, you know that Lydia’s family name holds a lot of significance!
The actress has recently been in Lifetime’s UnREAL and Disney’s The Descendants. She will be playing Lori Loughlin in the upcomingThe Unauthorized Full House Story.
Next up, the Lightwood family is finally complete with the casting of Nunes as patriarch Robert Lightwood and Jack Fulton as Max his youngest child and brother of Alec and Isabelle.
Nunes is most known for his work in films Narc, Traitor, and Get Rich or Die Tryin’ and on FX’s The Strain.
Fulton has been Netflix’s Hemlock Grove, BBC’s Orphan Black, and played young Cole in Syfy’s 12 Monkeys.
BONUS: Here is a pic of Izzy and Max on set!
Source: Emeraude Toubia/Facebook
As always, here are some fun behind the scenes videos and images from the cast and crew.
True Detective Season 2, Episode 8 – “Omega Station” Air date: August 9, 2015
True Detective’s second season was hamstrung from the start, burdened by high expectation and struggling under intense scrutiny and constant comparison. It was invariably doomed to disappoint, but there was never any reason to assume there’d be a happy ending to begin with. “Omega Station” stands in defiance of expectations, delivering a fitting conclusion to a problematic season and conceding only small, pyrrhic victories in the never-ending struggle against the ugliness in the world and within ourselves.
Just as it was during the first season’s finale, the mystery is all but solved and it’s only a matter of bringing in the murderer. The Crow, as it turns out, is the set photographer Lenny Tyler, actually one of the two Osterman children who survived the ’92 blue diamond robbery. His mission is one of vengeance, an attempt at retribution that ultimately drew attention to all the corruption at the heart of the city. Tyler sets up a meeting to turn over the hard drive to Holloway (which Ray interrupts), but both he and Holloway are killed in the ensuing struggle. With few options left, our heroes look towards escaping to Venezuela, but only after Frank settles his score with Osip and McCandless.
Ray and Frank are not good people; their fates were sealed from the very beginning. There was never any hope of the two friends pulling off the big heist, sticking it to the bad guys, and living happily ever after in Venezuela (this is True Detective after all, and not the later Fast and Furious films). Both men took part in the darkness that plagued the city of Vinci, and their fatal weakness would be the hope and delusions they clung to in spite of themselves. Ray still struggles with the man he became, having allowed his misdeeds and failures to poison his relationship with his son. He goes to visit Chad one last time, exposing himself long enough for Burris to tail and eventually kill him. Frank’s downfall, meanwhile, is the life he hoped to leave behind but ultimately dismissed at his own peril–the Mexican drug dealers confront him about the clubs he set ablaze, and leave him wounded and stranded in the desert.
Even in the season’s final episode, the writing and exposition can’t quite find a good rhythm. “Omega Station” has a generous ninety minutes to work with, but stumbles occasionally over cumbersome dialogue and overwrought characterization. The cast does an admirable job with what they’re given–Ani and Ray’s newfound romance is sold more by the actors’ subtle expressions and gestures than by any of the strained dialogue they’re given. Similarly, Vince Vaughn’s facial expressions alone speak more than his prolonged argument with Jordan or the parade of hallucinations that plague him combined. The full weight and desperation of their situation lends enough gravitas to keep the momentum moving forward despite the finale’s many detours into confessions and more exposition.
All things considered, the ending of True Detective’s second season is actually pretty optimistic. Our tragically flawed heroes attain some degree of atonement or retribution before their demise, while Jordan and Ani (who is also mother to Ray’s second son) survive to tell the tale and hand over the evidence to a reporter. Like the first season, there’s no such thing as a complete victory over the darkness–the highest levels of corruption are left relatively unscathed–but at least the reporter offers hope for something resembling justice.
Though not without its flaws, the second season of True Detective is a worthy next chapter in the crime anthology. There’s a lot to appreciate if one could divorce this season from the expectations and comparisons to its predecessor–the strong cast, haunting visuals, and lovingly crafted references and homages to the noir genre.
Sadsacks’ Sad Sex: The Confessions of Ray and Ani
Like the best noir stories, True Detective can’t help but throw in a few more sordid twists at the end: Laura and Leonard were likely Ben Caspere’s illegitimate children. Forget it, Ray…
Velcoro’s death was foreshadowed back in episode three, “Maybe Tomorrow”, during his delightfully Lynchian dream sequence:
Pretty Little Liars
Season 6, Episode 8: The Last Dance
Air Date: Tuesday, August 4, 2015
This week’s episode had everything you could ever want from an episode of Pretty Little Liars. The PLL Moms get drunk and locked in a basement, Toby gets kicked off the police force, Caleb wears an ascot, and there is a fairy tale themed prom.
What makes “The Last Dance” so great is how, for the first time this season, all of the Liars’ storylines are completely intertwined. The episode begins as the Mamma Liars tell their daughters that the school board has banned them from attending prom as well as commencement. The show expertly weaves in and out of each Liar’s home as the moms break the news to their daughters. It is so great to see the girls interact with their moms, and see how unique each of their relationships are. Ella is compassionate and understanding when talking to Aria, Veronica is blunt and to the point with Spencer, Pam is protective and concerned with Emily and Ashley is just as annoyed as Hanna but has her hands tied.
To help make this easier on the girls, the moms have come up with a prom alternative. They will throw a pseudo-prom in Spencer’s barn for the five girls and their dates. The idea is so lame that Ella can barely keep a straight face when telling Aria about it.
The Liars head over to The Brew to sulk about prom. Ali points out that even if they were to attend the real prom, they’d only hang out with each other while everyone else just stared and Aria tells the girls it’s probably for the best that they don’t attend since Charles has always had a sick affinity for freaky formals. For the first time this season, I can truthfully say that I liked Aria. I know, it’s a miracle!
Spencer leaves The Brew to look for Toby and finally finds him in front of police station. She apologizes for getting Toby stoned on gummies which caused him to get kicked off the squad. Ladies and Gentleman, Toby’s five minutes of being a cop has ended. Let’s have a moment of silence. Lorenzo also got fired but it’s okay because there are only two requirements for joining the Rosewood PD: 1) You must be willing to date a student currently enrolled in Rosewood High and 2) …. Actually no, there is only one requirement. Either way, finding replacements for Toby and Lorenzo should be a piece of cake.
Ella excitedly enters The Brew to tell Aria some great big news, she got first place in that photography competition and won a summer internship in LA! To be clear she won for her creepy doll photos, not for A’s creepy morgue pics. Aria is not sure if she should go though. With Charles still on the loose, A could be waiting for her at the LAX baggage claim. Man, it is such a nice change not having to cringe every time Aria opens her mouth. When Ella leaves, Ezra asks if Aria wants him at the barn prom, stating that the only reason he said no before was because he didn’t want to share a punch bowl with all of his former students. He has no problem attending prom if it is one of his ex-student’s backyards.
Emily and Hanna do not have the same luck as Aria with procuring a date for the barn prom. Sara declines Emily’s invitation because her old school has prom on that same day. Thank god, I hope that means I don’t have to hear her speak anymore this episode. Something about Sara’s voice causes me physical pain. Caleb can’t come either because he is heading to New York. He tells Hanna that it is to help his dad with some work, but the industrial strength computer Hanna finds in his trunk suggests otherwise. Over at the Marin’s while Hanna is trying to find out what Caleb is actually up to Ashley and Emily have a heart to heart. It was so nice to see a liar connecting with another liar’s parent, especially because they are all in this shit together now. It was also lovely nod to the time Emily lived at Hanna’s. Ashley convinces Emily that the girls should take the barn prom seriously, and try to enjoy it saying:
Ashley: You all have been robbed of so much already, just put on those dresses, dance and feel beautiful.
I love that the girls do not have to hide everything from their moms anymore, and that they are finally able to turn to their parents for support.
The four liars arrive at the barn in their fairytale themed prom gowns. Hanna is dressed like a storybook princess, Emily is the Black Swan, Aria is channeling Snow White and Spence missed the memo and looks like she is attending a charity banquet. The only person missing is Ali, who was lured by Charles to the prom. Ali pretends to head to the barn, waving at Pam so the parentals think she is attending, and runs through the woods to head to grandmother’s house the prom with the big bad wolf following right behind her.
In the barn the girls take group pictures until they gets bored and they all take out their phones. It’s really sad watching the four of them take pictures by themselves, and then sitting on the couch looking at their classmates Instagrams. They really have been robbed of so much by A, it is not fair that the school board is robbing them of their prom. While scrolling through Rosewood High’s live Insta-feed though, they spot Ali in the background of a photo and realize she is not just fashionably late to the barn, she ditched them for the real prom. Photobomb fail Alison.
The gang ditches the barn, their parents and their police detail and head to the real prom to find Ali. When they arrive Aria is very confused to find Clark as the prom photographer, especially because he has not returned a single one of her calls since the art gallery. She goes to confront him while the rest of the posse searches for Ali. Hanna runs into Caleb who is back from NYC. He admits that he wasn’t in New York just to see his dad, he was actually in a super secret interview getting employed doing cyber security work. He can’t tell Hanna where he is working, who he is working for, or how he got the job, but she shouldn’t worry because it will pay for Hanna’s full tuition and a huge New York City loft. This job sounds as legit as The Boiler Room. Emily is also in for a surprise when she spots Sara. While dancing, Sara tells her that whatever happens, Emily means a lot to her. I am hoping that means that Sara will be gone very very soon.
When the girls finally get ahold of Ali, she whines about how the girls are going to scare Charles away just like they did last time. All she wants to do is meet murderous kidnapping brother. Spencer tries one more time to plead her case with Ali, telling her not to follow her worst instincts. Ali just brushes Spencer off saying that Spencer couldn’t give a shit about her, and that Spencer never actually liked her anyways. Ali leaves to continue her quest of asking every masked person at the prom if they are Charles.This is a huge blow for Spencer. Yes, Spencer was the only liar to stand up to Alison, but she also spent that last 2 years (5 seasons) trying to solve Ali’s fake death.
Ali runs into the fake prom forest, which is chalk full of mirrors, to find Charles, and all of a sudden Clark flashes his very shiney sidearm and chases after her. Clark does not get far though because the Scooby gang corners and disarms him. When he yells at them to let him go, saying that they have no idea what they are doing, Toby retorts with “Actually I do. I’m an officer.” Oh man, Toby always knows how to make me laugh. What makes it better this time though is that he isn’t an officer because he just got fired.
It turns out that Clark is not actually a student at Hollis, he is an undercover cop. Poor Aria, this is the second time in her young teenage life that an adult male has befriended her under false pretenses. First Ezra, and now Clark. Aria is understandably dumbfounded and hurt, and will need an unimaginable amount of time in therapy to work out her trust issues. Instead of being sympathetic towards her friend, Emily snarks at her “Really Aria, you didn’t know?” Emily, just for that, I hope you are forced to listen to Sara speak for hours on end.
The Moms
The Momma Liars convene in the Hastings’ kitchen to keep an eye on their girls during the barn prom. By keep an eye on the girls, I mean eating seafood and getting drunk. It is utterly amazing.
Out on the back porch, they try to wrap their heads around how the DiLaurentis family kept so many secrets. While topping off everyone’s glasses, Veronica tells the girls they don’t know the half of it, and lets it slip that Jason is Spencer’s half brother. Veronica retells the story of her husband’s infidelities but it is too much for her to handle, so she heads inside to refill her already half-full wine glass. The remaining moms decide that instead of checking on their daughters (who have already snuck out) they should go console their host.
Inside, the women continue to discuss Jessica DiLaurentis and convince themselves that it was Mr. D who killed and buried Jessica next to the Hasting’s lilacs, not Charles. Veronica wants answers and she is going to get them, right now, by marching over to the DiLaurentis’ house. Did I mention how in love I am with these drunken Momma Liars scenes?
They storm next door, but Mr. D is not home. This does not deter them from snooping around. Just as they find the old picture of Jessica with her two boys, Jason’s doppelganger Rhys stealthy sneaks into the room giving women a fright. Rhys starts interrogating the moms and when he asks if any of them are actually part of the DiLaurentis family, Ella retorts “Are you?” Veronica quickly sobers up and uses her lawyer skills to take control of the situation. When Pam starts to suggest they should leave, both Ashley and Ella shush her like she is a child to shut her up.
Once Rhys departs, the moms continue searching the DiLaurentis house for clues but are distracted when they hear a noise coming from the basement. All four women head downstairs to investigate the noise, and get locked in the basement. Suffice to say, the moms have fully sobered up. While locked in the basement together they realize that the fear they currently feel, is nothing compared to the fear their daughters have had to live with for the past two years.
Back at the prom, the Liars find Ali’s phone laying on the ground next to a broken mirror while Charles chases Ali until they are in a secluded hallway where he takes off his mask and reveals his identity to his sister.
So that was a pretty great episode, am I right? I hope everyone is ready for the finale.
Aria Quotes of the Week:(Dare I say it, but Aria had the best lines this episode. So for one week only, this section has been renamed)
Aria: “We’ll fill the ballroom with police. It’s fairy tale themed, they can come as the village idiots”
Aria: “For all we know, Charles is in Spencer’s barn installing a lethal disco ball, which would make sense because that is where all of this started.”
Questions/Comments:
Dear Rosewood School Board- If you want to keep your students safe from a serial abductor, do not have a themed prom where the drink servers wear masks, and there are a myriad dark alleyways to hide and stalk.
Did anyone else notice that ‘Disturbia’ was playing when Alison entered the prom. Now I really have no idea what year it actually is in Rosewood.
So, last week, Hulk Hogan said shit about black people. He was fired and The Miz was hired to be the new judge on the show. The Miz saved Amanda. Paige went nuts, as did half the WWE Universe and Daniel Bryan was like, “I wish I was on Total Divas right now”. Oh, the memories. Anyhow, we’re on the seventh episode and all bets are off if the last save/elimination are any indication. Let’s see how much more screwed up this show gets…
And we are LIVE(!) from Full Sail University in Florida for WWE Tough Enough!
Renee Young and Chris Jericho introduce us to our judges which STILL features The Miz. The Miz hits on Amanda again and likes Tanner and Sara. Paige likes Josh and GiGi. Daniel Bryan likes Chelsea and ZZ.
WWE PERFORMANCE CENTER
Barracks The contestants are on edge due to what happened. GiGi’s just glad that he won’t be able to “use another save”. Amanda says she has “potential” and that’s why she was saved. Chelsea says that The Miz was looking at something other than Amanda’s “potential”. Amanda’s basically like, “whatevs, bitch”. ZZ whines about wanting to be here. Tanner and Josh gang up on him before ZZ loses it and tells them not to acknowledge him anymore.
Gym Gunn, Booker and Lita want to some cardio to start things out. ZZ can’t keep up and nearly throws up. Gunn tells him to leave the ring. The competitors have to create their own little sequences. ZZ nearly kills the trainer on the first hip toss, but manages to rebound. The other competitors wince at how terrible he is. Tanner is paired with him and ZZ manages to pull off a 360 body slam which “impresses” the judges. Meanwhile, GiGi can barely perform her moves while Sara nearly drops her on her neck and head. Chelsea and Amanda face off next and they’re basically like Emma vs. Eva Marie. It’s pitiful. Josh and Tanner work together and they work well together.
WINNERS:
Gunn says that Tanner and Josh worked well but that Tanner and ZZ sucked. Gunn chides ZZ for being lazy. ZZ isn’t able to shut up about being from Louisiana and says he’s an “alligator”. He gets tired. Like an alligator. Nope, that’s just not it, ZZ.
Barracks Josh heard about Tanner’s fail in the hot tube with Chelsea because this angle, like Zack Ryder’s occasional wrestling spots, just won’t go away. He wants to help Tanner out with Chelsea. He wants Tanner to hit on him. Tanner hits on him. Hardcore hits on him. Tanner even whispers in his ear that “the bedroom is right down that hall”. Josh thinks Tanner’s gay.
GiGi whines to Sara about being “dropped on her head”. Sara calls her a liar. More bickering. Seriously, every single female segment is written like this.
Gym ZZ is working out HARD. Josh talks him up and says that ZZ needs to remain focused and not lose sight of what’s important.
VALENCIA COLLEGE
Central Florida Fire Institute The recruits are here. Fire tests are done here. So, that’s why The Prime Time Players are here: to say stuff about the recruits and this building. They need to “work as a team” to put out the first in the building and get the “victims” out. ZZ, as it turns out, was a “volunteer firefighter” and this is “right up his swamp”. Like an alligator, he will adapt to the heat. Just kidding. He didn’t say that last part.
ZZ, Tanner, Chelsea and Amanda do the thing in 12:02, while PTP (wearing the tag belts like they’re on defense 24/7) cheer them on. Team Josh does it in like 14 minutes.
Gunn declares Team ZZ the winner.
WWE PERFORMANCE CENTER
Barracks Tanner and Josh sit ZZ down. They ask how ZZ feels about this week. He’s unsure, as always. Meanwhile, Amanda and Chelsea jaw about how Chelsea was trying to show off. Chelsea says she’s here to win. Amanda bitches about what the judges told her. Chelsea says the only reason Amanda’s here is because of The Miz. They bicker and Amanda says she’s hotter. Chelsea throws something at her.
FULL SAIL UNIVERSITY
Arena The Miz puts Amanda in the Bottom 3 because she let Miz’s bullshit go to her head. Oh, the irony. Everyone tries to come down on ZZ for his weight because that’s always a standby when there’s no other material. Paige criticizes Chelsea for selling stuff. Bryan says that nobody is saying they’re sorry for not-really-injuring one another.
BOTTOM 3:
DANIEL BRYAN – GiGi: overreacting to Sara’s slamming.
PAIGE – Sara Lee: Because Sara was emotionless toward not injuring GiGi. Uh…what?
THE MIZ – Chelsea: He’s changing his mind about Amanda. FUCK THIS. I hope Miz’s wife is starting the divorce papers.
In other news, Paige wants to fucking kill Miz for the second week in a row.
THE PLEADING:
Sara – She apologizes to GiGi. Yep. That’s that.
GiGi – Belongs here, yada, yada, yada…it’s just whining.
Chelsea – Gives a passionate plea about being there. She has a second chance and she will prove that she deserves it.
SAVES:
Paige saves GiGi for some reason. What a waste.
GOING HOME: Chelsea
And wouldn’t you know it, THE VIEWERS VOTED GIGI OFF THE SHOW. So, that happened. Anyhow, Chelsea’s going home, marking the second undeserved elimination of the show. Amanda should have been gone but is only being saved because Miz has a boner for her. It should have been GiGi, Amanda and Chelsea with Amanda going home. The judging on this show is embarrassing.
MR. ROBOT Season 1, Episode 7: “eps1.6_v1ew-s0urce.flv”
GRADE: B+
If last week was the fatal car wreck that killed the one we loved, this week’s cold open was the bittersweet video that plays on the living room TV during the low-key wake the deceased requested as part of a list of their final wishes. The episode begins with Elliot and Shayla’s Meet Cute, a flashback where she drops a goldfish bowl in the hallway outside his apartment and begs to be let in to save the ailing Beta Fish that (one would assume) will belong to Elliot one day. The two talk about their lives, have an immediate connection and, of course, Shayla offers to hook him up with premium Morphine, telling Elliot that her drug guy is “a psychopath” but that Elliot is “worth a psychopath”. And all we can do, as an audience, is watch and wince at that line, knowing what comes of Shayla. We’re helpless to stop it. It’s devastatingly bittersweet.
They talk a bit more outside. She smiles at him before leaving and walks away, hands in her pockets, as The Cure’s “Pictures Of You” fittingly plays on the soundtrack, considering what it was inspired by. The scene is beautifully written and incredibly well-directed, having the added benefit of working by default thanks to the earnest performances by Malek and Shaw who have always had such an indelible chemistry. It’s a shame she’s leaving the show. Shayla, we hardly knew ye. In any case, Elliot does the best he can to move on, losing himself in his work, much to Gideon’s chagrin. He wants Elliot to take some time off and says that he’s capable to, once again, “find somebody to be himself with”. Elliot’s amused by this and wonders what it would be like if everyone showed their true selves, much like a website code. He pictures them walking around, wearing signs that say things like, “I PRETEND TO LOVE MY HUSBAND”, “I LIKE FEET” and “I AM EMPTY INSIDE”.
While Elliot mourns and goes back to work, things are getting hairy in the outside world: Angela, in an attempt to get to the bottom of what killed her and Elliot’s respective mother and father, is working with lawyer Nayar to get a deal out of Colby: he will stay out of jail if he admits all wrongdoing. In return, she will say that she broke chain of custody on the Evil Corp hack file. The deal is something Nayar doesn’t believe in and she lets Angela know this in the meeting beforehand. Gideon is also horrified by Angela’s change of heart. He accuses Angela of lying about being out of possession of the file and says her actions will put All Safe out of business completely, but Angela’s on another level, coldly shrugging off Gideon’s concerns. And what of Colby? He thinks he still has power over his situation, over Angela, over it all — and, quite literally, tells Angela to suck his balls. Undeterred, Angela plays her next card: telling Colby that he might still have some money and a roof over his head, but everyone will know Colby is guilty of what happened and everyone he knows will lose respect for him.
After she’s given up and calls Nayar to report that she’s been right about Colby all this time, Angela is surprised to learn that Colby took Angela’s words to heart. She goes back to Colby who is a lot more engaging and embracing. He wants to know, however, what Angela is getting out of this deal. Angela asks Colby what it was like the day the deal was signed to cover up the waste disposal. Colby spins a story about being drunk with his colleagues, eating shrimp cocktail at party and that it was raining outside. Angela repeats those three things, like bold, italic bullet points, and says, “That’s why I’m doing this: so people like you do sit in a room together.” Angela wants to know if he even felt regret doing what he did and Colby says that he did — but that you just move on to the next day, illustrating that this is all business but, at the same time, not personal. The scene is absolutely stunning, especially when you see them back-to-back. To see Colby crumble and turn and twist and try to hold it together is a thing of beauty. Angela breaking him down is a welcome turn, seeing as though he’s had her by the throat in the two previous encounters.
The two other side stories aren’t wonderful.
Since Elliot has taken some time off from fsociety and everything concerning Evil Corp due to Shayla, Mr. Robot has been on a rampage. After reading several news articles about their group, he finds out that the U.S. Government isn’t afraid of fsociety. First, Mr. Robot attempts to pressure Darlene to get the support of The Dark Army again so that they can resume their attacks. He also wants to get a hold of The White Rose. Darlene is just completely unimpressed by all of this, telling him that “God is laughing” at Robot’s plans.
While Darlene learns that White Rose has responded to FSociety’s pleading, Mr. Robot pays a visit to Romero, who is now running a marijuana lab that attracts premium customers due to his ability to genetically modify the plant. Mr. Robot thinks this is cute, but tells Romero that he’s wasting himself on all of this and that he needs to drop everything to come back and help “change the world”. At first, Romero tells him to get bent — but when Robot starts destroying beakers and equipment AND pulls a gun on him, Romero begins to listen. He doesn’t immediately return to the arcade, but we all know that he eventually will. The final piece of the puzzle is Trenton who only agrees to work with Darlene again because, despite her parents emigrating from Iran and believing America to be a great country, “they’re going to die in debit, doing things they didn’t want to do.”
The last bit has to do with Tyrell Wellick and his seduction of Scott Knowles’ wife, Sharon. At first, Tyrell’s attempt seems to fall flat as Sharon simply walks away from him. She won’t meet Tyrell in his office and his request to meet him on the roof seems fruitless — but it happens. She’s there. After some small talk and some taunting on Sharon’s part (“my husband’s downstairs, getting the job that you want and you are trying to fuck me” she says), the two make out to “Two Weeks” by FKA twigs in one of those moments where you’ll never hear the song the same way again. Why? Wellick just straight-up murders Sharon with his bare hands, choking the life from her. The moment is shocking — but what’s the point of something like this? I’m guessing that this is Tyrell getting ahead by taking away what Scott holds dear, but it’s an odd way to go about that, isn’t it?
In any case, one of the truly great moments on the show comes from the final scene: Elliot visiting his shrink, Krista. At the beginning of the show, Krista encouraged Elliot to “be honest with himself and others” so that he would cease to be lonely. Through the episode, we see Elliot “burying” Shayla by burning her hack file to a disk (labeling it, “Disintegration” by The Cure) and nuking his drive material so that there was never any evidence of her on his computer — only to see Shayla’s dog eat one of the chips he dropped.
Elliot is ready to be “honest” with Krista and confirms their “doctor-patient confidentiality” clause. After she confirms it, Elliot reveals that he’s been hacking Krista ever since he chose her to be his psych. He tells her that he knows about her overspending habits, about how much porn she enjoys watching, and that she’s on medication. She hates her Mom and she cries all the time because she’s lonely — just like Elliot. He says that it’s nothing personal. He hacks everyone because he wants to help them. He’s doing this because he wants to find a way out of being lonely.
To call this episode a “step down” is probably incorrect on every level. It’s not a step down. It’s good, just like last week — it’s just a little bit disjointed. I appreciate the antics of Mr. Robot and his team and I appreciate the whole Tyrell Wellick story, but those stories were just kind of “present”. They didn’t do much. The rest of what we see (Elliot’s mourning and Angela’s deal with Colby) is top-notch storytelling and builds toward a hell of a finale in which we’ll probably see Angela and Elliot’s worlds come together. The only question is will their relationship still be in one piece after it’s over?
I have fond memories of Saturday Night’s Main Event, WWE’s old-school late-night wrestling program which aired for about 30+ episodes in seven years, starting in 1985.
As pro-wrestling was entering its “Golden Age” with the likes of Hulk Hogan, Rowdy Roddy Piper and Andre the Giant, WWE looked for new ways to expand their markets. They looked no further than cable television — new to many people back then — and NBC.
Long-time producer, Dick Ebersol, signed an agreement with WWE boss, Vince McMahon, to have a wrestling show which would air in Saturday Night Live’s time slot when that show would go on a week-long hiatus.
The relationship was mutually beneficial as Ebersol and NBC would reap the ratings benefits while WWE would learn how to put on a better wrestling show with a professional camera crew and experienced production team.
It all started in 1985…
WWE had successfully delivered WrestleMania and Hulk Hogan was still in a bitter feud with Rowdy Roddy Piper. On this episode, Hogan would defend the title against one of Piper’s proxies, “Cowboy” Bob Orton. Cyndi Lauper would be in Wendi Richter’s corner as Richter would defend the WWF Women’s Title against The Fabulous Moolah…
Let’s go…
We start with a small promo. Lauper is with Richter. Her Pro-Tip for Richter: “Don’t let Moolah grab your hair. You know she likes to do that.”
Hogan and Mr. T are fired up for tonight’s action.
And, THAT THEME SONG…wow. Brings me back to my childhood.
We are LIVE from Nassau Coliseum in Uniondale, New York for Saturday Night’s Main Event!
Your guys on the mic are Vince McMahon and Jesse “The Body” Ventura.
MATCH #1: WWF Tag Team Champions The Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff (w/ “Classy” Freddie Blassie) & George “The Animal” Steele vs. Barry Windham, Mike Rotundo (w/ Captain Lou Albano) and Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat The heels do the usual Soviet heel spot including the singing of their anthem. Sheik and Windham start the match. It’s Headlock City to start and Windham hits a shoulderblock and hip toss. Windham hits a nice slam and tags in Rotundo who does the arm twist and tag to Steamboat who comes down with one of those Karate Chops. Tag to Rotundo and it’s a double elbow off an Irish Whips. The three faces continue to beat on Iron Sheik but Sheik finally manages to get an Abdominal Stretch. “Steamer” (as McMahon calls him) counters by slamming him to the mat and it’s a Pier 6 Brawl with the faces clearin’ the ring for ‘Murica! We go to break.
We come back and the whole place has blown up with a “USA” chant. Ricky The Steamer Dragon dropkicks Sheik. Some chaos and it’s Volkoff in next. The Windham/Rotundo duo deal with him with a double dropkick. Double elbow by the boys and Rotundo hits Atomic Legdrops. Animal saves the pin. Rotundo tries a roll-up and it’s a two count. Backslide and two count. Sunset Flip but Volkoff is on the ropes. Tag to Windham and he hits another Sunset Flip on poor Volkoff who gets caught in the ropes. Animal is in…but the heels totally ditch him for some reason. Windham rolls up Steele for the three count and we’re done. WINNERS: Steamboat, Windham and Rotundo RATING: **. T’was all right.
Post-match, Steel destroys and eats a turnbuckle. Volkoff and Sheik attack Steele but Steele clears house. Albano comes into the ring and tries to calm Steele down, then hugs him. Steele turns face.
“Gene Mean” is interviewing the heels but Steele attacks them for a second, then just kinda moves on like a stray rain cloud.
It’s time for Piper’s Pit…
“Rowdy” Roddy Piper is with Bob Orton. His guest is Mr. Wonderful Paul Orndorff. Orndorff ain’t happy about what happened at WrestleMania. Orton and Orndorff jaw. Orndorff calls him a dunce and tells him to get in the corner. Piper tells Orndorff he can finally rest easy and sit down. Orndorff: “Ladies FIRST.” Piper calls him a loser. Orndorff tells both men to back off as they get close to snapping. Piper says he isn’t a loser — Orndorff lost the match for them. Orndorff says that Piper left him in the ring with Hulk Hogan and Mr. T after the match. Piper says that Orndorff lost his guts. Piper says Orndorff embarrassed everyone. Piper says he’s leaving…then attacks Orndorff. Orndorff blocks and punches Piper and then Orton who comes to help. Orndorff goes for the Piledriver but Orton saves the day. The two men get ready to gang up on Orndorff but Mr. T runs down to rescue him.
Mean Gene has Hulk Hogan. Hogan calls Piper and Orton’s behavior “typical”. Hogan says his match with Orton is gonna be special. What’s Orton gonna do when…blah, blah, blah…
MATCH #2: “Cowboy” Bob Orton (challenger) (w/ “Rowdy” Roddy Piper) vs. Hulk Hogan (champion) (w/ Mr. T) for the WWF Championship It’s a slugfest to start with Hogan hitting a huge back bodydrop and body slam. Orton moves outside to get some “wisdom” from Piper. Hogan just beats on him when he gets back in the ring with a shoulder into the ring post, then he bites Orton but that’s cool because it’s Hogan. Hogan slams Orton’s arm into the ringpost and whips him into the ropes but Orton hits a FLYING KNEE! IT’S A FLYING KNEE, MICHAEL! Oh…we’re too early for that. Orton hits an Atomic Drop and gets two. Orton starts dropping knees and elbows as Mr. T and Piper jaw outside. Hogan hulks up and drops an elbow. Two count. Hogan climbs on Orton in the corner. Orton counters with a reverse Atomic Drop. Orton goes for a Superplex but Hogan fights out, hits an elbow and legdrop. Piper whacks Hogan, interfering and we’re done. WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Hulk Hogan via DQ
RATING: *. This was your typical Hogan match.
Post-match, Piper and Orton jump Mr. T and surround Hogan but Paul Orndorff suddenly shows up to joing Hogan and T.
Gene’s with The Fabulous Moolah who is sick and tired of Cyndi Lauper. She’s not the first. She heads to the ring. She says she has a decree from the WWF that will ban Cyndi Lauper from ringside.
Gene has Lauper and Richter. Lauper says she will never be banned as a manager.
MATCH #3: The Fabulous Moolah (challenger) vs. Wendi Richter (champion) (w/ Cyndi Lauper) for the WWF Women’s Championship Finkel reads a decree that’s actually written on ancient papyrus, which is fitting since it’s about as old as Moolah is here. Lauper is banned from ringside. Moolah uses the hair to whip Richter and tosses her from the ring. Richter gets back in the ring and kicks her out. Back in the ring, Moolah gets a Body Drop. Richter comes back with a kick to the chest. Moolah begs off and gets to the ropes. Richter tries to drag her to the center of the ring but Moolah holds the ropes. Richter eventually does but Moolah slaps her and knees her in the face. Richter rolls her up for the win. WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Wendi Richter via small package
RATING: *. Meh…
Post-match, Lauper and Richter dance around the ring like we’re square dancing at a hoedown.
NEXT: JYD is up next!
Gene has JYD who has his mother with him. She says she’s proud of him.
MATCH #4: Pete Doherty vs. Junkyard Dog (w/ His Mom) JYD immediately attacks Doherty with headbutts and a clothesline. Doherty leaves the ring. JYD goes after him, grabbing him by the hair, as Doherty screams like Taylor Swift after a break-up. Back in the ring, it’s VINTAGE JYD with some headbutts. Doherty escape the ring again and goes top rope but JYD tosses him into the ring. More headbutts and a Powerslam by JYD and we’re done…and nobody cares. Seriously, nobody cheered that. WINNER: Junkyard Dog
RATING: DUD.
Backstage, Gene is at Cyndi Lauper’s Mother’s Day Party. Iron Sheik is there and he hates Lauper. So does Volkoff…but the punch is great. Volkoff says his Mom’s in Moscow. Blassie’s Mom is there. Albano reads a poem about his Mom. Hogan has his Mom there. Cyndi’s Mom is there and sounds like Kyle’s Mom from South Park. Moolah shows up and stands a biiiiit to close to the nice Mother’s Day cake. She yells at Lauper because she wasn’t invited. Moolah insults Lauper’s Mom, there’s a scuffle and, BAM, there goes the cake.
Vince and Ventura review what we just saw.
We’re done.
OVERALL: **. This was a fun watch. Matches were your usual late-night fare. Still, lots of fun to re-live my childhood.
DARK MATTER -- "Episode Nine" Episode 109 -- Pictured: (l-r) Mark Bendavid as One, Melissa O'Neil as Two, Anthony Lemke as Three -- (Photo by: Steve Wilkie/Prodigy Pictures/Syfy)
Season 1, Episode 9: “Episode Nine” Air date: August 7, 2015
If there’s one thing I’ve learned after nine episodes of Dark Matter, it’s that the showrunners do NOT want us getting attached to anyone outside the crew of the Raza. In “Episode Nine” we follow Four as he goes after his step-brother Hiro and One, Two, and Three decide to rescue him. Meanwhile, Five and Six spend the episode bonding and I cannot help but fall more in love with their relationship.
When Four goes missing it’s One who advocates rescuing him because he’s probably in trouble and he “owes” the crew an explanation for leaving. More and more I find myself agreeing with Three, especially when he says that “nobody on this ship owes anyone anything.” Odd coming from the guy who keeps score on the lives he saves, but he’s right. They’re a group only held loosely together by the hope that they might one day find out about their past. Four knows what happened in his, so why would he stay?
DARK MATTER — “Episode Nine” Episode 109 — Pictured: Alex Mallari Jr. as Four — (Photo by: Steve Wilkie/Prodigy Pictures/Syfy)
Ever the hero, Three sees an opportunity for growth in saving Four from the trap his step-mother set against him and the group follows him in rescuing Raza’s ninja. This is another moment in which I’m disappointed by Two. She’s their leader, the strongest of the bunch, and yet, outside of her firm decision-making in the first two episodes, she’s mostly been swayed by the likes of One and Three. Sure, she has secrets like the rest of them but it’s almost as if that guilt is keeping her from actually being a leader so as not to draw attention to herself. I love her strength but she doesn’t really make an appearance in the episode until the end when the group rescues Four.
Most of the episode follows Four’s journey and we see even more of his backstory with his mentor, Akita-san and his relationship with his brother and father. Four is a stern figure, to say the least, but he isn’t without compassion. Much like Three he seems incredibly protective of those he cares about, which makes the ending of the episode so…surprising.
Undoubtedly, the most antagonistic relationship on the show is the one between One and Three. After the cliff-hanger ending of last week with One finding out that his pre-amnesia self had a wife and Three was allegedly her murderer, I didn’t imagine One would handle things well. And he doesn’t. At all. Anyone with half an eyeball can spot his inner turmoil and naturally, Two takes on the job of finding out what exactly is wrong with the poor baby. I don’t think One is particularly a bad character. I can see his appeal. However, let’s go half an episode without him whining. Please.
When Two learns the reason for One’s “new” fight with Three, she tells him to get over it because it’s not like One even remembers his dead wife. Geez. One, of course, doesn’t get over and still, despite all they have been through, cannot bring himself to trust Three, even reaching a point where he considers shooting his shipmate. I appreciate learning more about One’s true self, the death of his wife and so on, but I wish we’d move past this rivalry One and Three seem to have. When Three recounts their “score” at the end of the episode, I had hope that One would finally put that feud to rest. Knowing him, however, that seems unlikely.
DARK MATTER — “Episode Nine” Episode 109 — Pictured: (l-r) Jodelle Ferland as Five, Roger Cross as Six — (Photo by: Steve Wilkie/Prodigy Pictures/Syfy)
While all of these shenanigans are going on and Four is off getting himself stabbed and threatened, Five confronts Six, asking him to teach her how to defend herself. It isn’t an unreasonable request, considering life on the Raza is anything but dull, but Six, along with the rest of the crew, sees Five as a child, and he refuses, not wanting to sully her innocence and all that hullabaloo. Five responds angrily, telling him that when the crew is attacked, she isn’t spared because she’s a child and she’s nearly died for them a few times now. Six later apologizes in one of my favorites scenes of the show thus far.
And that’s what I like about this show, the unexpected sweet scenes between the crew of the Raza. Two and Three discussing muscle memory, One and Three recounting their “score”, Four and Two discussing family, and any scene with Five or Six. Even the android’s discussion with Three about resetting her memory because she is “flawed” got a happy sigh from me. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the action on the show, but I appreciate that it’s balanced with the scenes showcasing the crew’s different relationships. With an ensemble cast such as this one, it’s easy to highlight one or two crewmembers and push the rest to the side, but Dark Matter shines light all of the members of the Raza and that makes it a better show.
KILLJOYS -- "Come the Rain" Episode 108 -- Pictured: Hannah John-Kamen as Dutch -- (Photo by: Ken Woroner/Temple Street Releasing Limited/Syfy)
Killjoys Season 1, Episode 8: “Come the Rain” Air date: August 7, 2015 Grade: B+
After last week’s craziness on Killjoys Johnny, Dutch, and D’avin find themselves a broken team and the younger Jaqobis attempts to fix the situation. His older brother has isolated himself on the ship and is constantly drinking, while Dutch has been having meaningless sexual escapades to cope.
While we were all collectively shocked by Johnny’s (Aaron Ashmore) stabbing, he is in better health and is almost fully recovered under Pawter’s (Sarah Power) watchful eyes. The level 3 killjoy sends an urgent message to D & D who both rush to the bar, their concern adorably evident. While they expected some kind of emergency, Johnny lectures their current inability as a team to take on Khlyen (Rob Stewart) and on that note he’s accepted a low level warrant on their behalf. He is of course forcing the two to deal with their issues so things can get back to normal. Dutch (Hannah John-Kamen) gets onboard and reluctantly so does D’avin (Luke MacFarlane). The two leave to go see Bellus (Nora McLellan) for their briefing. At the Leith Bazaar, the pissed off warrant broker punches the elder Jaqobis in the gut for hurting Dutch then hands over a device that they need to deliver. Gotta love her.
KILLJOYS — “Come the Rain” Episode 108 — Pictured: Aaron Ashmore as John — (Photo by: Ken Woroner/Temple Street Releasing Limited/Syfy)
Soon after they leave Westerly, a black rain warning goes off in Old Town with everyone panicking and sealing themselves indoors. Black rain is a deadly by product of nature and years of Company pollution filling the air with acidic particles. The Company apparently uses the bad weather it as a form of execution, where prisoners sentenced to death are bolted to the ground while the steady downpour slowly melts them away. Gross much?
Pree (Thom Allison) offers sanctuary to any patrons who found themselves stranded until the rain passed through. A group of shady individuals rush into the bar and you know they are up to no good. Sure enough, Johnny gets an alert for one of them, as does a Company soldier who stupidly decides to confront the man only to be outnumbered four to one. These folks had just hit an immigration center, killed two guards, and stolen a ton of seventh generation claim ids (that would allow entitle them to land on Leith). The situation escalates quickly and Johnny ushers Pawter and Pree out of the line of fire with a wise Alvis (Morgan Kelly) following them. The young Company captain starts shooting and all hell temporarily breaks lose. The criminals’ leader gets shot and Pawter offers to help save him. Johnny ends up having a heated conversation with the second-in-command criminal, trying to get into the other man’s head. The guy isn’t going for it though but at least allows Johnny to help Pawter upstairs.
We discover that good doctor, who had been acting odd since the beginning of the episode, is actually addicted to the drug jack and is going through withdrawal. She can’t operate on the injured dude because her hands are shaking too much. Pawter was actually on her way to meet with her dealer right before the black rain warning went off. With their lives on the line, Johnny volunteers to get her the drug so that she can function in the guise of getting necessary medical supplies. Unexpectedly Alvis lends a helping hand and acts as a guide in the underground tunnels below the bar after Pree shows them the entrance.
The scene with Johnny and Alvis in the tunnels is pretty fascinating to see as we learn a little more about the monk’s background. He grown up down there and new it like the back of his hand. It must be how his resistance group is getting around Westerly without getting caught. Alvis randomly comments that Johnny is really good at fixing things, noting that the killjoy didn’t have to help Pawter or anyone else at the bar and yet he did and continues to do so. We also come across a group of homeless people who treat the other man like he’s the second coming of Christ, though Alvis does convince one of them to give up his jack to the cause. You certainly get the feeling that there are more folks dedicated to this secret movement. The Company’s day of reckoning will likely happen soon.
As the two make their way back to the bar, they get stopped by a squad of Company guards. Johnny really has a way of with people and convinces the ranking officer to let him fix the situation upstairs before they come storming in (which likely will get all the civilians killed). Incidentally, the Company captain had been signaling his compatriots the whole time with a little beacon.
KILLJOYS — “Come the Rain” Episode 108 — Pictured: (l-r) Aaron Ashmore as John, Morgan Kelly as Alvis — (Photo by: Ken Woroner/Temple Street Releasing Limited/Syfy)
Johnny gives the jack to Pawter who takes the hit despite it being laced with something else. She momentarily freaks out though because she’s having a bad trip and is scared that she’s going to kill the injured criminal (the doc confesses to Johnny that the last time she operated high she killed her patient). The killjoy reassures her that she can do this and that he’s going to be there for her the whole time. Thankfully, Pawter performs a successful surgery. The younger Jaqobis then goes downstairs to tell the goons that their leader’s made it but he can’t walk and will have to be transported out. Second-in-command guy gets angry again and takes his frustration out on Company captain by throwing him out in the acid rain. Johnny goes outside after the man, saying to pissy dude that the captain was the way to get them to their ship.
When they get back inside, the Company squad is pounding on the entrance door from the basement and pissy dude is freaking out telling Johnny that he needs to fix this. This Jaqobis has had enough though and finally loses his cool.
“In the last ten days I’ve been attacked by face hugging biotech, stabbed by my brother, had major surgery, helped perform major surgery, been beaten, bullied, and burned. I am done fixing things!” You tell him, Johnny!
He then proceeds to swiftly shoot the three remaining criminals in the head with a nail gun. That was freaking badass. Cue shot of well deserved liquor.
KILLJOYS — “Come the Rain” Episode 108 — Pictured: Luke Macfarlane as D’Avin — (Photo by: Ken Woroner/Temple Street Releasing Limited/Syfy)
Meanwhile, D’avin and Dutch are stuck onboard Lucy because it turns out that Johnny had set up the whole warrant as an exercise for his two teammates. He’d rigged Lucy to sit pretty until D’av and Dutch answered a series of questions truthfully. The two less than eager killjoys do their best to get through with lots of alcohol in the process. The whole endeavor finally got to the crux of the matter as Dutch confesses that doesn’t know how to trust D’avin anymore. She doesn’t hate him because he’s as much of a victim as Johnny and herself but she isn’t able to move on. She can’t direct her anger at him to start the healing process and so she’s stuck avoiding him. They really did try their best while stuck on Lucy. They were also about to be sucked into the black rain vortex and had to destroy Johnny’s little DNA device to enable the ship’s functions again.
D’avin goes to find Johnny in Old Town and admits that they are broken and until they can figure out the next step he’s off the ship. As a peace offering D’av gives his brother a Captain Apex comic book that he had given away back when they were kids. This isn’t going to fix the situation though and Johnny’s frustration boils over. We find out how hard it’s been for him since his older brother disappeared nine years ago and left him deal with their ailing mother and their abusive father. Johnny had to take care of their dad’s debts in addition and now won’t ever be able to go back home. On top of that he had asked D’avin not to sleep with Dutch and yet the guy did it anyway. Now he was done cleaning up after his brother who would have to fix his own mess. This is a defining moment for Johnny who’s been in more of a beta role to Dutch and D’avin’s alphas. Now he is clearly putting his needs first and to that I say bravo John Jaqobis.
We end with Dutch coming into Johnny’s room where he’s reading Captain Apex and she joins in on it. It’s nice to see them come back to a familiar sibling dynamic after everything that’s happened. We don’t know how they are going to get passed all of this but I’m guessing something along the lines of one of them being put in a terrible life or death situation. Regardless I loved this Johnny-centric episode as the character finally feels like he’s come into his own after standing up for himself both with the goons and with his brother.
With only two episodes left this season I’m looking forward to more Khlyen shenanigans, Dutch’s harem backstory, D’avin figuring out wtf he’s going to do next, and Pawter getting clean. Also I need more Fancy Lee, please come back!
THE BACHELORETTE - "Episode 1110 --Season Finale - After Kaitlyn survived a heart-wrenching rejection by Chris Soules, and then a nerve-wracking night to become the Bachelorette over Britt, she moved forward for a chance at finding love with one of 26 intriguing bachelors. After surviving shocking twists and turns and a journey filled with laughter, tears, love and controversy, Kaitlyn narrowed down the field to two men who despise one another - Nick and Shawn. Her relationship with Shawn has survived several emotional bombshells, but she is still concerned that his jealous nature will sabotage her connection with him. Meanwhile, her relationship with Nick has been undeniably passionate and intense. But what will happen when their physical attraction fades? In this week's dramatic conclusion, Kaitlyn is absolutely torn between the two men. She loves them and can envision a future with both bachelors, but time is running out, on the Season Finale of "The Bachelorette," airing MONDAY, JULY 27 (8:00-10:01 p.m., ET), on the ABC Television Network. (ABC/Rick Rowell)
KAITLYN BRISTOWE
As we FINALLY enter into the airing of this season’s finale of The Bachelorette, one must ask themselves the very important question: Is this over yet? This, of course, meaning both the silly-ass show itself, and the relationship between Kaitlyn and the dork she ends up choosing. By the time this review is posted, the couple could very well be broken up already. Such is normally the case in the world of the Bachelor/ette.
In any case, the season finale episode finds Kaitlyn choosing between jealous growling Neanderthal Shawn, and sewer-rat, pretzel-body, mumbling Nick. Chris Harrison promises a SHOCKING live finale, and the audience watching it along with him agrees. “Will there be everlasting love for Kaitlyn?”, he asks. Ummm, no. No there wont. I give it 8 months. I’m being kind.
Shawn still wont say Nicks name. “Theres still this other guy “, he whines. Both men go to meet Kaitlyn’s family, and Nick is up first. K warns them that the two remaining men hate one another. Nick and K enter the house and sit on a couch with like 18 other people all squished into a corner. K sits on the corner of the couch, barely hanging on. Aren’t there more chair options in these people’s home? The family asks Nick why he is here, and he puts his hand over his mouth and mumbles some crap about being here for Kaitlyn. Mom and Nick go outside and talk, and K says to camera that if her mom doesn’t approve of a guy, she wont be with him. Nick sheds tears as he tells the mom “I will totally ask her. I’m in love with your daughter. ” He then talks to the dad, who looks like a turtle, and dad gives his blessing for proposal. K and Nick kiss a lot outside by the car and say goodbyes.
The family meets Shawn. He is grunting up a storm and wants to “get off to the right foot.” Okay, well , maybe start by using the proper phrase. He brings gifts for K’s sisters kids, and he makes a speech at dinner toasting to Kaitlyn and to their future and her family. K’s sister tells her she is “Team Shawn.” Shawn and the turtle talk outside, where Grunt Man says he is proud to “have Kaitlyn as my girl”, like he owns her. He asks the parents together for their blessing, they say yes. They also kiss out by the car, and he tells her he loves her twice.
Kaitlyn has her last date with each of the toolbag men. Nick is up first, and his lisp and mumbling is at an all-time high, I can barely make out anything he is saying on this date. He keeps moving his arm up to his mouth when he talks. I want to punch him. I think at one point he tells her “I love looking at you.” Well okay then, creeper They go sailing. He wears a dorky striped shirt. At dinner later, Nick gives her a picture of them and a poem he wrote that is god-awful. Can these people please STOP writing poetry? Please? It’s just beyond bad. She tells cameras she can see him as her husband.
During her last date with Shawn, she acts all awkward with him and sad-like. Its bizarre. He feels nervous because she is acting weird. They have dinner and he has a gift for her – a memory jar filled with all the corny things they have done together over the years …. I mean, weeks. She tells the camera “I’m in love with two guys, and two guys are in love with me. I don’t want to blindside anyone. I’m terrified.” Again with the terrified. Both men pick out rings. Nick tells the ring guy his whole life story about last season when Andi came knocking on his door instead of the ring dude. They are trying SO hard to make this dramatic, and it just isn’t.
Its time to find out who will propose to Kaitlyn, and then break up with her weeks later. Nick gets out of the limo first. He walks to her outside at the cheesy location, and it literally takes forever for him to walk this complicated maze-like path to get to her. They both whisper and he lisps his way through his dumb speech. He goes on and on and on with “So, you know how in love I am with you and what you mean to me and , like, I’m not ready to let you go and I don’t wanna let us go. I am yours forever, if you’ll have me.” He drones on and on even more, while looking like sad puppy, and Kaitlyn DOESNT STOP HIM. It is very clear by this point that she is sending him home due to the cold expression on her face, but she just KEEPS LETTING HIM TALK!!! “and so , uh, Kaitlyn ” … he takes out ring and starts to get on his knee when she FINALLY stops him with a weak “please. ” He says “No? Alright. Kaitlyn: “I’m sorry. My heart is with somebody else. I really needed all this time to figure that out.” “I see. I’m not trying to be short, it’s just, I don’t think there’s anything you could say that would make me less confused. You knew what I felt for you and it wasnt just a moment for me. You don’t want to be with me. You don’t love me.” She says I’m sorry again, and they walk out awkwardly together. She tells him she is not trying to sugarcoat anything. He says “I’m gonna go now.” He gets into the sad limo and tosses the ring on the floor. Nick: “I feel sick. I’m in shock. To hear her tell me that she loves me, more than once, its like a fuckin joke. The worlds biggest joke.” Kind of like this show.
Now its time for Kaitlyn and the Big Hairy Monster to get engaged. Shawn walks up and speaks to Kaitlyn: “I knew my life wasnt the same when I met you. I fall more in love with you every time I see you. I love you so much Kaitlyn.” She finally tells him how she feels. “You light me up and you make me laugh and allow me to be myself . I want to tell you the truth (longest pause ever). The truth is I never want you to question ever again what we have. I am yours. I’ll always be faithful to you. I have been waiting so long to tell you how I feel. I love you with all my heart, you are the one and you always will be.” He gets down on knee and proposes to her, and then lifts her into the air for the cheesiest ending ever.
During the AFTER THE FINAL ROSE special, all the predictable things happened. The men argued with each other and with Kaitlyn, Shawn and Nick had a bro-to-bro exchange, in which they solved nothing, and Harrison asked them stupidly “So, you guys wanna hug it out?” Ummm, no. That’s not happening. Go back to the Fantasy Suite and play with your toys.
That is all for this season, folks. Stay tuned for the eventual breakup of this annoying couple.
THE FOSTERS - "Daughters" - Callie is surprised to find that Rita has a biological daughter in an all-new episode of "The Fosters," airing Monday, August 3, 2015 at 8:00PM ET/PT on ABC Family. (ABC Family/Adam Taylor)
MAIA MITCHELL, ROSIE O'DONNELL, MARCELLA LENTZ-POPE
Season 3, Episode 8: “Daughters” Air Date: Monday, August 3, 2015
This week on The Fosters, Rita’s daughter shows up, Callie’s adoption is in jeopardy (yet again), and yet, Brandon tries to make everything about himself.
“Daughters” begins with Callie helping Rita get ready for a hot new date. Rita has kindly offered to house Callie while the whole Brandon/Callie romance is under investigation. While Rita is out a girl named Chloe comes a knocking. Callie lets this stranger right on in because the girl claims to be Rita’s daughter. Callie, I thought you had more common sense than that. Just because this girl says she is Rita’s daughter doesn’t mean she is. She could have been a psycho serial killer for all you know. Unfortunately for everyone, Chloe is telling the truth, and she is indeed Rita’s daughter.
When Rita gets home Chloe asks her mom for money to invest in a food truck, even though she has no cooking or management experience. Apparently this is not the first time she has come home asking for a handout. Chloe storms off, and Rita explains to Callie that Chloe is bipolar and then finds that Chloe has stolen a check. Chloe comes by the next day to yell at Rita for cancelling the check that she stole and the two begin to argue. Chloe accuses Rita for causing her father’s suicide and this hits Rita’s last nerve, who responds by slapping her daughter.
The next day, Rita and Callie stop by Girls United, and Callie is also introduced to the new girl living in the house, Brooke. Brooke causes a fight as soon as she walks into the room by calling everyone skanks. This girl is obviously going to be trouble. Brooke and Carmen get into a screaming match later, and when Rita goes to break it up, Carmen gets punched in the face. When making their statements to the police, both Carmen and Brooke claim that it was Rita who punched Carmen, and Rita is cuffed and arrested. This really makes no sense to me, I am really confused about why Carmen and Brooke would team up on this. Does Brooke have something on Carmen that she is holding over her head? I am really confused and the girls stick to their story.
Over at the Adams-Foster’s house, things are not quite so peachy keen either. During dinner Jude refers to the judge presiding over Callie’s case as that “idiot judge” (that’s pretty much as rebellious as we have ever seen Jude) and Mariana asks her mom what the cops are going to do about the douche who sold her and Callie a stolen car. Mariana is pissed that she is now out 1,400 dollars, but Brandon has some sage wisdom to bestow upon his younger sister:
B: Well you deserve it if you ask me Mariana: Well I didn’t ask you, and now you have to share your car with us so you lose too.
Finally, I am starting to like Mariana this season.
Later, Brandon comes into the kitchen asking Stef how long AJ will be staying at the house. She tells him that she knows that the two boys have their differences , but AJ has had tough life so you know be a little sympathetic to his struggles. B is too self absorbed to comprehend that comment, so he changes the subject to the surveillance video Stef is reviewing and gives Stef a new lead on the her case.
After dinner, Brandon and AJ are in the bathroom together, washing up for bedtime, and it as awkward as it sounds. AJ, jokingly, asks B if Stef and Lena placed a restraining order on him because he stalked Callie. Brandon snaps and yells at AJ that it is none of his beeswax. Mariana walks in before tensions get too high, and she calls Brandon out on his shit. Seriously, Mariana is on a roll tonight. Brandon tells Mariana that everything is fine, and verifies about 100 times that he is no longer in love with Callie, but then accidentally lets it slip that he and Callie made out after GU fundraiser. Ruh rooh.
Meanwhile Lena and Stef are in their room trying to figure out how they got themselves in this mess AGAIN! They never imagined they would have to deal with Callie making out with another foster sibling, especially since they thought that they sent the only other candidate for that role off to Wrestling boarding school.
And then comes the social worker scene. She is at the house to interview Callie and Brandon individually to find out “what transpired” between the pair to result in a restraining order. The two do a horrible job of keeping their stories straight, and they keep giving different accounts of pretty important details (ie. if their first kiss happened before or after Stef and Lena asked to adopt Callie). I was half expecting Brandon to storm out in the middle of the interview screaming “BUT WHAT ABOUT ME.” Don’t worry, that is basically what he does in the next scene to Stef and Lena.
When Brandon finds out that AJ kissed Callie, he flips a shit. A huge shit. He starts screaming at his moms that nobody ever cares how he feels. He complains about how it is unfair that he had to endure a restraining order while AJ gets away scot-free. He yells about how “Good Old Brandon” is always expected to do the right thing (I can safely say, I never assumed that). The he starts to attack his moms personally. He knows that Stef and Lena are in therapy and accuses his moms of bringing in ‘stray kids’ because they can’t stand the thought of being alone together. Yes, Brandon actually called his brothers and sisters ‘stray kids,’ and Jude overhears the entire fight.
The next day, Jude has to take a summer school math test, but he can’t focus on anything other than the turmoil at home. Even the sight of Connor, whose face lights up as soon as he spots Jude, is unable to assuage Jude’s anxiety. As soon as the test starts, Jude is sketchily looking around at everyone around him. I actually got scared thinking that Jude was going to get caught for cheating, but instead busts out of the classroom and storms past Lena’s office. When Lena stops him to see what is up, he retorts with
“Why do I need to care about anything when Callie’s back in the system and you and Jude are getting a divorce.”
Brandon arrives home shortly after Jude does. When he finds out Jude had a rough day, he put his hand on Jude’s shoulder and say “Sorry to hear that bud” and walks up to his room. This prompts Stef to go upstairs and commend Brandon on his super sweet and caring comment to his brother. Wait what? Literally, all he did was say “sorry bro” and then peace out. I am so confused. Anyway, Stef tells him that she realizes that she has more compassion for her adopted kids than she does Brandon because Brandon hasn’t suffered as much as they have and it is not fair for her to think that. Um no Stef, it is completely fair to think that. She apologizes for being preoccupied with making sure Callie was alive and safe instead of consoling Brandon’s broken heart. She then tells Brandon that she will support him if he does not want Mike to foster AJ.
Later that night, Jude walks by Mariana’s room and hears Callie’s voice. He is disappointed to find that the voice was coming from Mariana’s computer, and Callie wasn’t actually back home. The two sit down and watch the video that Callie had uploaded to her new app. In the video Callie recounts all of the cruelties and injustices she and Jude had to face while in the foster system, and how the individuals who committed these acts never had to pay any consequences.
The fact that the writers of The Fosters ended an episode where Stef tells Brandon he suffered just the same as his adopted siblings with Callie listing out the horrible things that she endured while in the foster system is mind-blowing. Lucy Hallowell summed it up best with this tweet:
.@tvwithapb Biggest joke on the show is how they want us to feel bad for Brandon while juxtaposing him with Callie and Jude.
At Gamescom, Microsoft announced that a DVR feature would be added to the Xbox One in the near future. This sounded like an awesome opportunity for Xbox fans and could even be an incentive to those sitting on the fence for which system to purchase, especially for the cable-cutting generation.
At the conference, Microsoft gave details for the Xbox One DVR feature. The console will allow users to record over-the-air shows directly to their Xbox One, with the only limitation being the amount of hard drive space available. The other great feature is that it will allow users to stream their recorded shows to any Windows 10 device. It has to be too good to be true, right?
Since the initial announcement, more details have surfaced. The DVR feature will not work with your cable or satellite, due to coding issues. If you wish to record over-the-air programming you will need to purchase the antenna adapter from Microsoft that will plug into a USB port on your system (currently selling for $50).
The other stepping stone to this process is that you will need to purchase an additional external hard drive dedicated to your DVR programs. Accord to project lead Richard Irving, “you need an external hard drive specifically for DVR because we want to keep the storage paths optimized between playing games and watching TV. We don’t want them to interact with each other”. Depending on the size and speed you desire, external hard drives can run anywhere between $60 to $150.
While the DVR feature sounds like an awesome new addition to the Xbox One’s bag of tricks, it will take an initial investment to achieve. Even at the bare minimum, you should expect to pay roughly $100 to get this new feature off the ground. This cost may be less if you already have an additional external hard drive just laying around.
Are you excited for this new DVR functionality? Or do you feel the cost to entry is too high? Let us know in the comments down below!
We are over halfway into the first season of MTV’s Scream and I’ve just stopped caring. As a writer, you take assignments (or volunteer for them) for the sake of reporting what you see so that people can read your take on a show or a movie. Sometimes, you get incredibly lucky and end up enjoying what you write about (Hannibal and Mr. Robot come to mind) and sometimes, you don’t.
I’ve been asked why I still write about this show by some of the people who read my reviews.
“It’s a job,” I say. “I choose what I wanna watch. I just want to write about something.”
“Yeah, but you can choose what you see most of the time,” They point out.
They’d be right. The thing is that I can’t quit now. This sucker is in the home stretch. It would be a crime for me to stop. I’d feel like a quitter. I also feel like I have a duty to continue reporting this shit-show. For better or worse, I have to see, for myself, if MTV crashes the series into a mountain or if they pull it out of its perpetual nosedive.
This week, we weren’t off to a great start.
Kieran and Emma, having just freshly humped all night in a field (crawling with bugs and snakes and, you know, A KNIFE-WIELDING MURDERER) decide to go for a ride to Brandon James’ house. Why? Emma (whose brain is obviously now running EmmaOS v3 for Morons) wants to “get over her fears”. What could be worse than an arbitrary left-turn into Stupidland? How about Emma showing up as the killer and murdering herself because — OMG! THE LAST FEW MINUTES WAS ALL A DREAM!!!
Noah and Audrey go over the suspect list which is comprised of everybody and anybody. So, it’s a good thing the writers have whittled it down for us. As for Lakewood’s esteemed crack squad of “police officers”, they’ve narrowed it down to one person: Audrey. Why? Her DNA is on the inside of the Brandon James mask. Detective Brock’s ready to move in for the kill on this information alone which makes no sense whatsoever since all that evidence was “inadmissible” two episodes ago. But, whatever. She’s already had Audrey escorted out of class by the police in front of her peers and she’s illegally questioning Audrey without a legal guardian, so why not go the full nine? At least the show does us the service of having that last inaccuracy corrected…via Hud. Yep, he arbitrarily shows up to help Audrey during his “Leave of Absense”. This show and their cops…
Can I just take a moment to gush about Lakewood’s finest?
I SALUTE THE COPS OF MTV’s Scream:
Leaving people of interest completely unprotected, unsecured and unguarded in their own precinct.
Brooke left the station to visit her Dad before Riley’s murder but her Dad can’t corroborate her coming to see him? No need to question her.
That hospital Brandon James used to inhabit? Eh…we’ve got better things to do than to go over there and check for leads.
His old house? Nah, we don’t need a patrol car over there.
Instead of calling Audrey to the Principal’s Office, they perp-walk her right out of the classroom in front of all her peers, straight into custody and interrogate them without a parent present.
Noah’s disturbed that the police have taken Audrey in. He thinks it’s Mr. Branson who looks like he’s aged ten years since he stopped “privately tutoring” Brooke. Apparently, Noah found out that Mr. Branson’s name isn’t “Seth Branson”. It’s something else. He changed his name before coming to Lakewood. But his mind is changed after Audrey manages to call he and Emma so that they can retrieve a memory card from her camera. It contains video shot from the night of Nina’s murder and features Audrey yelling into the camera that she’s going to make sure that Nina “won’t bully anyone ever again”.
In the next ten minutes, Noah manages to name-drop three comic book villains, Heisenberg from Breaking Bad and says he feels like Frodo in Lord of the Rings before watching the Audrey video and declaring that he needs a “Men in Black mind-wipe”.
Are the writers getting paid by the pop-culture references? I mean, look at this…this is just this week:
The BTK Killer
The Good-Bye Girl
Gone Girl
Batman
Kingpin
The Joker
Bane
Men in Black
Breaking Bad/Heisenberg
Frodo
Lord of the Rings
And it’s painful to hear them do it, too. Like when Brooke says:
“I can’t do ‘The Good-Bye Girl’ when my Dad is doing ‘Gone Girl’.”
Really? Has she even seen that movie?
There’s a moment on the season premiere of USA’s Playing House where Jessica St. Clair says she feels like “Keyser Soze” breaking into Mark’s house because “Spacey’s in the movie, bustin’ perps and takin’ names and people are givin’ him cash…” Her friend Maggie immediately reacts: “You haven’t even seen The Usual Suspects. Kevin Spacey’s not a cop. He’s the villain!”
That’s how I felt after hearing Brooke say the Gone Girl line.
Anyhow, Emma and Noah work together to exonerate Audrey, much to Detective Brock’s chagrin. “If I’m right about this, and we let Audrey go and another person dies, you’re just as guilty as she is,” says Brock to Emma in the most nonsensical statement made by a cop in a television show. Yes, that includes CHiPs. (And that is how you make a pop-culture reference! HA!) The good thing about this? Audrey’s father suddenly exists. That’s another really weird thing about this series: the parents only exists when it’s convenient to the plot. We’ve never seen her father before this. According to IMDB, his name is “Pastor Jensen”, which opens up all kinds of possibilities in regard to their home life. Could Pastor Jensen be one of those overbearing religious parental types? We don’t find out in this episode. Here, he’s like, “Oh, hai. I exist now. I’m her Dad. We want a lawyer. Oh, she’s not guilty? Better take my DAUGHTER home. Because I’m her DAD!” That’s how this series rolls.
Speaking of Brooke, she’s still hanging out with Jake while Will suffers in silence. Brooke tells Will to “make things right” in terms of the video blackmail scheme involving her father. So, Will turns to Piper who, outside her little true crime podcast, doesn’t seem to have any gainful employment besides sitting inside Lakewood’s homely little coffee shop, harassing people. He promises to tell Piper the truth about Nina — but, instead, decides to bring Nina to another abandoned warehouse (Lakewood’s littered with these, apparently) where he gives her father his money back and the blackmail tape. This, after Jake tells Will that the police will find him “in pieces in a ditch”.
The honorable Mayor reaches back for a gun — but Will tells him “I’d rather not die today for doing the right thing,” before promising that he won’t say a word about what’s on the tape. Piper’s surprised and she’s ready to go public with what she knows — until GhostMcMeltFace shows up to ruin the party, knocking Piper near-unconscious, stabbing Will and kidnapping him.
The episode gets a slight tick up from last week just for Bex Taylor-Klaus’s performance. She’s the only person on this show that I like next to Noah. Learning more about her darker side this week felt right. You can see that bubbling up inside her each episode and it was nice to finally see some character development. She’s right on that edge. Right there. And I like when she’s paired up with Noah because he’s such a perfect foil for her. A Superman to her Batman, as it were.
Unfortunately, the show just continues to stall. There’s nothing even remotely interesting about anyone or anything else and the audience suffers as a result.
