Preacher Final Season Review: Episode 7- Gauntlet Throne

Hot on the drop of Mr. Custer (Dominic Cooper) in the last episode, we open in on Tulip (Ruth Negga) and Cassidy (Joseph Gilgun) burying a literal fallen as the Saint of Killers (Graham McTavish) observes from afar. From the usual twinkle in his dreamy eyes, we can tell that this shit is far from over. Seven was always seen as a big Biblical number, and on this episode of Preacher (AMC) “Messiahs,” I’m starting to think there may be something to that.

Jesse, however, is overlooking over an azure lake, teaching a little girl to fish. How did he get here, who was that little girl? My first assumption was that it was an older version of the daughter taken from him. Could it be? Is this Heaven? Before we could make any sense of the odd jump cut, Fiore (Tom Brooke) appears. The two men travel through some breathtaking vistas, including what’s assumed to be “God’s Golden Shore” which is old-timey nomenclature for Heaven. They arrive at a golden door leading Jesse to his true purpose- to take the Throne in God’s stead.

Back on the road again, Cass and Tulip tear it up, as if to outrace fucking reality itself, but their stone-faces speak a different story. Stopping before a church, a tearful eyed Tulip reads Jesse’s missive. Upset, she storms into the House of God… maybe to ask him for sugar? Cassidy, still wounded from the arm burns finds (providence?) in a nearby chicken coop. Doing his best to maintain the Path of the Righteous Vamp, he confronts the owner of them he’s taken them and letting Ringo off with his life.

Meanwhile, Tulip seems to be making herself cozy in the House of the Lord, going shithouse on it. This includes immolating the goddamned the joint. Call me old-fashioned, but something tells me Tulips never been one to use the doormat for any purpose outside of hiding a key (and NEVER her own).

Back at the Grail, speaking of fiery, an undercover Featherstone (Julie Anne Emery) makes Hoover Two (Aleks Mikic) a little weary as he grabs the morning joe for Herr, Jesus, and Hitler. It’s most likely to get under his skin as she seems to be one step ahead of the curve (yet still two steps behind Tulip), though with an Achilles heel for Starr.

Come to mention it, we haven’t heard from Herr K. Starr (Pip Torrens) in a while. That’s because he’s busy crawling after a more than happy dingo running away with his cock in his mouth. Oh Starr, will you ever understand that vanity is pretty damn synonymous with pride? A rose by any other name would smell just as acrid!

These days, everybody seems to be feeling the pressure cooker in what proceeds is a throwaway scene which appears to be a throw to Network. As a friendly reminder, an FBI agent on the light and fluffy “It’s Morning In America” basically does his best Howard Beale impression, telling people that not all are hugs and kisses after the nuclear explosion. I mean, unless you count it kissing the sky and hugging the earth.

Back in the goody room, Jesse gets his first trippy glimpse into what being God might entail, including tough choices like the Kennedy assassination. Jesse outright refuses and without a beat, as if to talk down a first-time acid user, Fiore assures Jesse everyone says no the first time. Custer is adamant, citing it a sin, the biggest one there is- treason. Things don’t look up for their cause.

Traveling over to Hasidic section of Williamsburg, Tulip tries to reason with Dany (Julie Dretzin), a former employer of hers and Jesse. Tulip wants someone and Dany wants something. Over at a nearby diner, Cassidy tries to reason with Tulip to take the bullet for her but because “the gloves are way off”, Tulip takes a breath and puts that same bullet into Dany’s husband’s skull.

Over at Masada, Christ proper meets ersatz Humperdoo (Tyson Ritter). After a lackluster performance, Hitler (Noah Taylor) puts a hot one in his chest, causing Jesus Christ (Tyson Ritter) to freak and use his own name in vain. It’s the little cherished moments that make you fall in love with this series. Hitler comes clean about the whole shit-sandwich of a situation about Christ’s true begotten. Adolf though wants to skip the pre-season and go straight to the playoffs and suggests that the OG J.C. take the job instead. This probably won’t end well.

After the deed’s been done, Dany flat out welshes on her end of the bargain on account of how special the person is. Gee, I wonder where this could let to. For one, it leads to Tulip’s famous brand of “convincing” and for another, it leads to us to kind of figuring out who it might be.

Back in Heaven, Jesse maintains it wouldn’t be right or even make sense for him to take on the mantel of God, lamenting the evil he’s done. His realization why he’d even go to Heaven- oh that’s right. He’s in the Underworld itself and not even Genesis can save him.

Back at Masada, where Starr is missing, Hoover Two eavesdrops on Jesus and Hitler bickering. Jesse Custer ain’t the only one not wanting to go against Yahweh. As Christ said unto Hitler, “You shall not muzzle an ox, for it treads out the grain.” It’s true. Why muzzle a beast of burden and go “against the grain.”… At least that’s what I think it means. For once, Hoover Two’s stoic face seems to be slightly stirred.

Open the doors to a synagogue and enter Tulip, Cassidy, and Dany as they continue past the praying Hasidics into a back room. In it, Cassidy and Tulip witness the majesty of the one true Christ Child in all his dancing splendor. Despite the insistence of Dany, the duo take off with Humperdoo and though the congregation attempts to take him back, Humperdoo’s made his choice. When asked where they are going to take him, Cass rattles off his best monologue yet about faith and devotion to God in the face of tragedy is a fool’s errand. Their plan? To kill Humperdoo before the very eyes of God himself.

Transferring to Florida, a Pensacola police Chief Wittman (Christopher Kirby) gets a call from Hoover Two. It turns out that Hoover Two was going Donny Brasco on the operation, masking his deep southern drawl. Turns out poor gent won’t make detective before 30 though. It just goes to show you, never piss off a barista.

As Humperdoo hangs out the car window like a happy puppy, Cass and Tulip have a determined look in their eyes as they wind along verdant pastures. I mean not very subtle, but still a tight minute setup.

Lastly, back to Jesse. It turns out that an alternate view of the gravity of the situation is needed, so Fiore shows him the day that God (Mark Harelik) flew the coop. As a stressed God listens over prayers, Fiore informs him that Genesis has escaped. The moment Fiore turns his back, God, like a fucking Geico commercial “goes up the country” (including shots of him riding his hog down highways). He parties it up in New Orleans and finds his Doggie In The Window in the form of a rubber fetish suit.

Fiore does remind Jesse that God isn’t without his hand on the tiller. He has bigger things in store. You see, God is not an artist. He’s an artiste. And as with any artiste, he never looks back on his old work. Just as Edna Mould: “It distracts from the now.” Dinosaurs and humanity were alright, but now he’s working on his Third Act, supplanting humans with something even crazier. That is unless Jesse acts now (supplies are running out).

As a whole, I think this was one of the more entertaining ones not relying on violence or action, yet not feeling labored. I see it as the calm before the storm, so the excitement and fear begin to take hold.

Robert Kijowski
Robert Kijowski
Robert Kijowski is a script writer who enjoys a good chuckle and an even better weep when indulging in art both good and even better bad. He's written for pop culture and film websites alike. You can hear him on Spotify (After the Credits) and reach out on Instagram, X or by English Carrier Pigeon.

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