The Carmilla Movie: Laura’s ‘Five-Year Plan’ Broken Down

Last night the year-long anticipated The Carmilla Movie was released and it was amazing. I knew that the movie was going to be good, but I was not prepared to be blown away. The acting, the camera work, the sets, they were all phenomenal. The movie literally took my breath away. Towards the beginning of the movie, the always prepared Laura Hollis wheeled in her “5-Year Plan” board to show her faithful vlog viewers, and as a present to all of you Creampuffs I have carefully examined and documented the entire board. Don’t worry, this article is VERY light on spoilers. (Additional thoughts and comments italicized next to certain items). **After careful examination I have been able to decipher two more plans**

Year 1:

  • Donate Cookies to Homeless Shelter for Youth
  • Buffy Marathon (all 7 seasons) with Carmilla <3
  • Go to Comic Con with Carmilla
  • Eat a Vegetable (editor’s note: not a vegetable “a day” just a single vegetable for the whole year)
  • Go to Women’s March
  • Vacation in Paris with my HOT GIRLFRIEND
  • Finish Reading Harry Potter Fan Fiction

Year 2:

  • Road trip to see favorite band LIVE with Carmilla (editor’s note: that band is 100% Tegan and Sarah right?)
  • Finish DIY Books project
  • Write an article a day
  • Knit sweaters for penguins in oil spills

Year 3:

  • Graduation
  • Meet Christiane Amanpour
  • Read all Harry Potter books for the 59th time
  • First job as a REPORTER
  • Donate first pay cheque to charity
  • Dad’s 60th Birthday

Year 4:

  • Got Junior Editor Position
  • Save the Bees
  • Read more QPOC Comics (editor’s note: That one’s on my list too!)
  • Go to World Pride (with Carmilla)
  • Track down identity of Stickmilla
  • Save oppressed neighborhood
  • Finish knitting project (editor’s note: is this the penguin knitting project?)
  • Provide weekly “How is Laura” updates for viewers

Year 5:

  • Win National Magazine award
  • Knit sweater for every penguin in the world
  • Rewatch Murphy Brown
  • 200 hours of volunteering at the library
  • Thwart evil businessman (editor’s note: How will she choose just one?!?!)
  • Befriend plucky orphan
  • First longform investigative report
  • Find more LGBT stories to read

Laura’s Nightmare 5-Year Plan Board

CarmillaAt a certain point in the movie, we get to see what Laura’s 5-Year Plan looks like in her worst nightmare. Here are some of my favorites from the Nightmare 5-Year Plan Board

  • Carmilla FELL ASLEEP watching Buffy
  • Favorite cookies no longer being made
  • Penguins die in oil spill
  • Favourite Lesbian Character dies

So there you have it. Let’s discuss what your favorite goal on Laura’s board it.

**Update: One of the Production Designers tweeted out a clearer picture of the board


You can watch The Carmilla Movie by purchasing a bundle starting at $9.99 here and starting on October 27, The Carmilla Movie will be available on Fullscreen the exclusive streaming home of the film.

Alyssa Berkowitz
Alyssa Berkowitz
Alyssa (TV Editor) likes long walks on the beach, Greek food, talking about television, watching a good sunset, and girls who wear glasses. Wait, this isn't a bio for OKCupid? Alyssa got her start recapping in college when her friends got tired of her constantly talking about TV and suggested she start a blog. The idea was if she wrote about TV she would talk about it less. Well her friends succeeded in one of their goals...she started writing about TV.

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