With our actual Chief in Commander going more off the rails from his tweets, what more a fitting episode than this?
Keep digging deeper.
Coming off of that big-time win in the last episode, wherein Team Space Force trounced Team Air Force to overtake the contact for bionic exoskeletons in the face of enemy opposition, this episode of Space Force (Netflix) titled “The Spy” clearly spits in the face of a well earned victory through cunning in exchange for internal espionage. “There’s some Moles in this house, there’s some Moles in this house!”
General Mark Naird (Steve Carell) has yet to be privy to this news, however, as he is still riding and talking to the military press under the horrendously misjudged watchful eye of Fuck Tony (Ben Schwartz). It matters none, however as Steve gives proppers to Dr. Adrian Mallory (John Malkovich) for helping him make the papers and by proxy, getting him a conjugal visit by POTUS.
Highs are ephemeral today, though, as Mission Control is floundering due to India launching their new rocket with Adrian noticing their Pegasus Fin System, which is proprietary to Space Force being a key component in the successful launch. No time to speculate for Mark, however, for he has to make his “dentist” appointment. On his way out, General Naird notices Major Lee Baxter (Jamison Webb) recording the entire event on his phone. That may be a tooth that needs to be pulled.
On the helicopter out, Captain Angela Ali (Tawny Newsome) inquires and Mark cuts to the chase. This “mission” is special to him and as he chews the ear off of Captain Ali on how long he’d be willing to negotiate the visit to last, the rose betwixt his legs says it all, however, once outside of the plane, the actual flower is blown to bits by the ‘copter’s blades. A portent of things to come?
Yup. In the text from POTUS “sex is for winners.” The blades go full steam ahead as Mark is steaming…for getting no head.
Being reamed about by John Blandsmith (Dan Bekkedahl), both Mark and Adrian have their work cut out for them, as it’s the President’s B-Day. Adrian suggests launching the Climate Orbiter as a gift, but that is shot down quicker than Mark’s hard-on for success… but ohhh, Fuck Tony’s been eavesdropping and his about to make it rain confetti for the POTUS.
So who makes the shortlist of the long-game? Well, Yuri Telatovich (Alex Sparrow) for one. Baxter for a second. Mark puts Dr. Chan Kaifang (Jimmy O. Yang) on the list, but because he’s Adrian’s aide de camp, Adrian puts up Mark’s assistant Brad Gregory (Don Lake) for consideration. Let the line of questioning commence.
Chan slips up Mark by telling him about his search history concerning BWAM (with makes for a WAP), Brad slips up Adrian by being as vacuous as space, though not as deep. The Force isn’t strong with them.
Who it IS strong with though is Fuck Tony as he’s trying to rope an uninterested Chan in planning a gift for the Leader of the Free World’s born day…
Elsewhere on base, cadet Duncan Tabner (Spencer House) “attempts to make contact” with Mark’s daughter, Erin (Diana Silvers) at Meal Armstrong. He’s certainly left an impression on her, though her mission control is attempting to say ‘no signs of life acquired.’ Something landed in her brain, that’s for certain.
Onto the trail of fears we proceed, with Major Baxter coming to bat… or just a plain wrest his cellular. This amounts to nothing other than someone trolling him through social media… but is it enough to be believable? Well, Adrian has fun with posing as Baxter, but Mark transfers his post to an island that basically submerges at high tide.
Last on the list is Yuri, who is “smoov as a kookumber”, shall we say? This confident cutie pins the blame on the civilian contractor, Kelly King (Jessica St. Clair). While Adrian is objective, Mark’s feelings naturally hinder the process going forward.
With the drain trust, (as this is depleting U.S. taxpayers dollars) of F. Tony and Dr. Chan are trying to come up with a POTUS gift, and the only thing they can generate is who incompetent they both are.
It is now though the time for the General of a certain team to speak with the General of her certain team. After a deep stare in the oculars, he knows it was clearly her. This can’t possibly be a misjudge on his part, right? I mean a four-star general can trust his own gut, right?
Outside of here, Brad makes suspicions known after Dr. Mallory as being the leak in the pipe through double-encrypted emails. So after all of this time exploring their other Chanel No. 2’s, they’ve not explored the actual shit that was sprayed between them. I SMELL A FIGHT!
As Fuck Tony and Chan present their gift to the Blandsmith, a star naming with zero results.
As General Naird decrypts the emails, he basically outs his aide-de-camp. Adrian had a crush on (musically) one of the test subjects on the Lunar Habitat, Jerome.
This would be the time in Rockets where we leave.
This wasn’t a breach of privacy but rather a breach of true trust. That is something that General Asshat has to come back from. Making someone vulnerable among his colleagues was enough… but what’s more pressing is the fact there was no spy. It was simply them.
While Fuck Tony and Chan still in a constant effort try to release the Kraken through a B-Day cake, they realize they are just a cog in the machine but will have the last tock, as he as horny for vengeance as he is horny for cum-uppance.
I didn’t spell that wrong.