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‘Pretty Little Liars’ Review: Charlotte’s Web

Pretty Little Liars
Season 6, Episode 12 – “Charlotte’s Web”
Air Date: 1/19/2016

This week on PLL: Aria and Emily tell a bunch of lies, while Ali hosts a very awkward dinner party.

After Charlotte’s funeral the Liars head to Radley to regroup and start talking about Sara Harvey. Apparently Sara Harvey was cleared on all charges because she plead Stockholm Syndrome and now has some sort of amnesia. It’s all a little confusing. Also, she is no longer a suspect in Charlotte’s murder because her hands are burned and are incapable of doing anything. Hopefully that includes talking because I don’t know if I can handle hearing her voice ever again.
PRETTY LITTLE LIARS

All of the girls have decided to stay in Rosewood except for Aria, who is acting squirrelly as fuck. She says she needs to leave Rosewood ASAP to get back to work but the other girls don’t buy it. They all know that as a Liar showing up to work is optional. Hanna pulls Aria aside before she leaves two things are revealed:

  1. Emily threw up in the bathtub the night Charlotte was killed (successful night indeed)
  2. Aria snuck out at around 3AM and was gone for the amount of time it takes to break someone’s neck and throw them from a bell tower.

At first Aria denies leaving the hotel room but when Hanna tells Aria she SAW her leave, Aria tries to cover her ass by saying she was just running to her car. Oh Aria, you were never good at lying on your feet. Immediately after this confrontation, Aria runs over to the loft above The Brew to visit Ezra, who looks like he hasn’t showered in a year. She tells him that they NEVER saw each other the night of Charlotte’s death, it never happened and that he can never tell a living soul about the thing that didn’t happen that they are not talking about. Yep, that is pretty much the Ezria that I remember.

Aria

Aria flees Rosewood to Boston just in time to get to work and see her boyfriend Liam, whose hipster level is on par with Ezra’s. She and Liam are coworkers, so they need to keep their relationship on the DL (which seems to be a recurring theme in Aria’s romantic relationships).  Liam and Aria meet with their boss, who is not too happy that Aria was unable to convince Fitz to hand over a draft of his second book. Mrs. Boss was under the impression that Aria would have power over Ezra due to their special relationship. And by special relationship I mean the sacred bond between a student and teacher. To make things even worse. Mrs. Boss Lady assigns the Ezra account to Liam. No one, I say NO ONE takes Ezra away Aria without Aria’s say so, so Aria successfully begs for a second chance and flies right back to Rosewood to convince Ezra to keep writing.  

PRETTY LITTLE LIARS

When Aria getsthere she and Ezra dance around the subject of the book advance until it is finally brought up. She tells him that the editors are not blowing smoke up his ass, the really loved B-26 Ostinato, and they are excited for his next book. Ezra reluctantly hands Aria a thumb drive containing the progress he’s made on the book, but he warns her she won’t love what’s on it. And what is on it is every article about Nicole’s kidnapping and murder that exists in the world. Ezra was not kidding when he said Aria might not like what she saw.

Spaleb/Cancer?

News of Charlotte’s death has reached all of the Rosewood politico bloggers and they are trying to use this juicy bit of news to ruin Veronica’s campaign. Little do the bloggers know that the Hastings’ girls have Teen Hacking Extraordinaire Caleb on their side. Caleb, who is stationed in the Hastings Kitchen, is able to track down the source of this media leak and then uses his hacking powers to change the story’s narrative. He even offers to rig the election in Veronica’s favor, but Spencer declines, stating that the Hastings have met their quota of winning rigged elections.

Another thing not working in Spencer’s favor is a term paper she wrote for her sophomore Criminology class. She was tasked with writing a case study, and she chose to write about a woman who thrown from a chapel tower with a broken neck and clean fingernails. The EXACT same was Ms. Charlotte DiLaurentis was killed. Caleb thinks Spence is being paranoid and I realize that five years really makes people forget because this is the exact shit an A would pull. And yes you can say “well A is Charlotte and Char is dead,” but that same excuse was used when we found out about Mona right? Who knows what other crazies lie out their in Rosewood.

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Emily’s Mysterious Lesbian Disease

I think it is safe to say that Emily has the biggest problems of all of the Liars at moment. On a positive note those pills and needles in Emily’s bag last week were not because she is an addict. On a negative note, those pills and needles in Emily’s bag last week were for a mysterious lesbian disease that Emily has. A serious disease that requires blood draws and regular treatments.

Things just keep getting worse for lil’ ole Em when her credit card gets declined while trying to pay for parking after her appointment at Hollis Medical. Luckily, that pothead baker that Ezra hired to work at The Brew back in the day comes to Emily’s rescue. Yes this is the same pothead baker whose gummy edibles made Toby trip the fuck out and get suspended from the RWPD. It turns out Sabrina Is running The Brew now. She was only supposed to be the interim manager while Ezra was Habitating, but then his girlfriend got kidnapped/murdered so plans changed. Emily asks Sabrina not to tell anyone that they ran into each other outside of Hollis medical to which Sabrina replies “Who the fuck would I tell? But actually, let me use this moment to overshare with you. I once had cancer and at first I didn’t want anyone to know, but in the end, family and friends are what got me through it. You need support.”

On one hand, it is sweet that Sabrina reached out to Emily, on the other hand Sabrina took a pretty big leap from seeing Emily outside a medical center to thinking she has a major illness. She could have just been having an STD test or something and didn’t want anyone to know. Emily does confirm Sabrina’s suspicions that it is more than an STD when Emily tells her that she doesn’t want to worry her mother.

Here is my big question, and I come from a Public Health background so I may be the only one thinking about this, but how the fuck is Emily paying for this treatment on the salary of a bartender. She is not in school, so she does not have school insurance. She may be under her mom’s insurance plan, but then it would be pretty hard to hide all of the appointments since there is usually a family deductible. Lastly even if she did sign up for Obamacare in California, those treatments most likely would not be covered in the state of PA and she would still need to pay out-of-pocket until she reached her deductible. I’m just saying.

So you know that deep hole of lies Emily has been digging for herself, well it is about to get a whole lot deeper. While at The Brew, Pam sees a Hollis appointment pop up on Emily’s phone. Instead of saying that she was getting her flu vaccine, or her annual GYN exam, she lies and tells her mom she is applying to Grad school at Hollis. I think I actually slapped my palm to my face during this scene. I don’t think even Mona could get Emily out of this hole she is in.

Later that night Emily visits her father’s grave for the first time since his funeral, and the first time she has seen the tombstone. She explains that after her father’s death she lost failed a few classes, lost her scholarship and when she came home was too scared to tell her mom. A or no A, Emily always gets it the worse. Then in the climax of her emotional purge to her father, she spots Sara Harvey lurking around in the cemetery. Ugh Sara fucking Harvey.

Hanna

Hanna’s Hunky Australian  boyfriend ,Jordan, dropped all of his big publishing duties to come to Rosewood and check in on his girl. Not only did he ship himself in, he also flew in all of favorite foods, including a dozen cupcakes from Lucky’s. No just kidding, the cupcake is from Greenwich bakery. There is no paper towel Benjamins associated with this cupcake.  That pretty much sums up Hanna’s personal storyline this episode.

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Dinner Party Extravaganza

Ali decides to have a dinner party with all the Liars and their significant others to help her deal with her grief. A second reason for this dinner party is that  100% convinced that Aria was involved in Charlotte’s death. Aria has been dodging Ali’s calls and she left early…  so  basically she was acting like Aria.

As expected, the dinner party is awkward from start to finish. First awkward moment: Caleb and Jordan trying to add the leaves to the dining room table. Second awkward moment: Hanna and Caleb looking for wine related paraphernalia together in the closet. Third awkward moment: Ali has everyone hold hands and basically accuses Aria of killing Charlotte while saying grace. Dear all TV characters on any show ever, DINNER PARTIES NEVER END WELL!  A Fourth not exactly awkward moment is that Spencer explains to Jordan how she and Caleb reunited. Essentially it was the fates and gods that brought the back together. Spencer was abroad in Spain and Caleb was backpacking through Europe and their Meet Cute occurred at train station. Jordan totally gets the relationship vibe from this conversation, and I am really interested to see where he goes with this.

After the dinner, Hanna can’t keep Aria’s secret to herself any longer and she spills the beans to Spencer. Spencer suggests that they look at the hotel’s surveillance footage, since Ashley runs that bitch after all and Hanna responds with “No, I don’t do that stuff any more.” This, right here, is the tipping point for Hanna and truthfully all the Liars. These girls have had 5 A free years. They escaped the torture, escaped the surveillance, escaped the cat-and-mouse game. If they go and sneak into the hotel’s security room, they are the same girls there were five years ago. Is protecting Aria worth it?

Obviously they decide that it is worth it and sneak into the Radley security room. They discover that Aria left the hotel with Ezra before Charlotte was murdered but arrived back alone after Char’s death. So to basic logic suggests , Aria and Ezra are our number one suspects, and Aria must be confronted.

When Aria returns to the Montgomery House, she is greeted by a trio of Liars. In turn, they each explain why they are confronting her… bitch was shifty the night Charlotte died… and they need her to confess. It takes less than a second for Aria to break down and cut to a super long Ezria flashback. In the flashback, the two talk about the trial, drunken pizza,rural PA, and then all of a sudden see Charlotte emerge from a car outside of the church. Ezra has a mini breakdown about Nicole when he sees Charlotte and sends Aria away in a cab. Moral of the story, everyone thinks Ezra killed Charlotte.  Worse, Spencer is convinced that she told Ezra how to commit the murder because of her paper. To protect Aria, Hanna goes back to the hotel and deletes the footage of Aria sneaking out.

Spaleb/Cancer pt 2:

Over in The Barn, Spencer is setting up the couch for Caleb to sleep in and she asks if he is okay sleeping on the couch again. Is the other option her bed? I hope so. After Caleb scoffs stating a posh Hastings Barn Couch is nicer than any Euro Hostel Bed he has slept on and  Spencer reveals it has been 3 years since they have met in Europe. So, to be clear, these two this relationship has been going on for three years. The two reminisce about their abroad experience, sparks fly, and the two look longingly into each other’s eyes. I do not consider myself a shipper, but I would build a boat and become captain of the Spaleb ship!

Hanna Quote of the Week:

Emily: “We research cures, Alzheimer’s, diabetes, infectious diseases.”

Hanna: “Damn, you treat them, i’ll dress them”

About Alyssa Berkowitz

Alyssa Berkowitz
Alyssa (TV Editor) likes long walks on the beach, Greek food, talking about television, watching a good sunset, and girls who wear glasses. Wait, this isn't a bio for OKCupid? Alyssa got her start recapping in college when her friends got tired of her constantly talking about TV and suggested she start a blog. The idea was if she wrote about TV she would talk about it less. Well her friends succeeded in one of their goals...she started writing about TV.

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