Previously on getting fucked in the eyes of a goddamned god:
The girls freak out, as everything and everybody is in chaos. Misty’s (Sammi Hanratty) irises grow only larger, enamored by the impending shit they’re about to come in contact with. In this second episode of Yellowjackets (Showtime) titled “F Sharp”, maybe this is one of those times.
We cut to Misty, back in middle school. The peal of her phone sends her running to her big lips phone. I always wanted one of those, not those fucking stupid hamburger phones that were more of the rage. Who the fuck answers a thing to a thing you eat?
On the other end is Becky informing the poor girl that they heard through the grapevine that she had anal in the janitor’s closet. The laughs on the other end are palpable, but long live fucking threeway calling, the fucking bane of all gossip. They proceed to make fun of her, calling her out on being too ugly for a position where the face isn’t even requisite. I know that pain, but more on that later.
“Opinion is the wilderness between honest and ignorance.”
This will serve Misty well now since the cabin crew couldn’t take their fucking seats for landing! I mean, one could take a bump, but with teammates skewered through and others grasping onto dear life, vanity is not out of being saved.
When those fucking chips are down, getting out of a firey and flashy flight can be instinctual and instructional. Only the prettiest come out the other goddamned side with scars and life.
As Jackie (Ella Purnell) tries to wrest Shauna’s (Sophie Nélisse) soul out of her drugged-up corpus, the other bandy together to force the emergency door open. A door that was meant for water, complete with a waterslide, not terror and despair.
Oh, did I mention fucking regret? As Van (Liv Hewson), their last line of defense is left fighting the grips of Death as Jackie bails Shauna out to safety. Damn, girls, you have yet to compete and you’ve already just lost.
As the carnage revolves around her, Shauna ‘takes a good hard look at her life.’ Taissa questions about Van before the cockpit explodes, rocketing her to the afterlife.
Misty, being the only one to search for immediate finds Coach Scott (Steven Krueger). After a concerted effort of lifting a wing off of his leg, the team isn’t prepared to tell him the truth that his right leg is looking like pasta at Sunday dinner- a meal that didn’t sit right with most of them.
A slightly singed Van is still alive though!
Before anyone can celebrate, Misty emerges with an ax, chopping off the poor bastard’s limb to the unmitigated dismay of the squad. Before this can sink in, Misty reminds her fam of the goal at hand- save those who still have a pulse, including Coach.
In the present, Misty (Christina Ricci) is on a killer of a date, who reluctantly agrees to stay for one last drink. The gal sure knows how to pick ’em!
Back in the thick of it, young Misty instructs the crew exactly how to tend to the survivors. She’s a one-woman Red Cross, but even so With that, Jackie dismisses her. Laura Lee (Jane Widdop) knows that the only antiseptic may lie in Natalie’s (Sophie Thatcher) bag for obvious consumption… but they decide to use Jackie’s astringent anyway. Shit, in these woods, the only way you can look ugly is if you’re not fucking sharing!
In 2021, Shauna (Melanie Lynskey) is getting a call. We’re miles away from her home, but never too far away from pain. Callie (Sarah Desjardins), on the other line, vapes, not giving a fig about the meat that should be thawed for dinner. In trying to explain what it looks like, Shauna gets into a bit of a pickle. I mean fender bender.
Instead of taking the blame for the encounter, she simply calls him an asshole. He seems to be flirting, asking for her number, as he can ‘claim injury’ but the funny thing about a choice encounter is you don’t know who really is OR can be the victim.
The unsettling thing about this is no formality is involved. They scrawl numbers on their arms as if they were back in high school. This suave wolf low-key excites her.
Cut to a one-on-one interview with her and hubby, Jeff (Warren Kole). The inquisition out of the gate concerns intimacy. For them? Non-existent, through so many words. “Busy” and “late nights” are the gospel they both sing. Speaking of honesty and ignorance, the therapist wants them to share something behind closed doors they’ve never divulged before the shared act of carnality.
A present Misty is dropped off by her date, and therein lie the popular two-person conundrum of when to leave. In her defense, a younger version would know what to say and when to say it, but the years have done their job. Rust knows no age.
After asking him to come inside, she’s rebuffed.
Old wounds never truly heal, girlfriend, they just become beautiful scars. Physician heal thyself as well!
Taking pity, he proceeds in but Natalie (Juliette Lewis) awaits a more exciting night, rifle in her clutch. Check, please!
The postcard of those Canadian Rockies with a hieroglyph on the back had brought them together to surely not tear them apart.
As Nat follows Mist into the kitchen, barrel not two shots before a Pollock painting, Misty shows she was the recipient of one as well. They’re about to have a night of hard drinks and harder facts to figure out what the hell is going on.
At the bar, Natalie is in recovery mode by way of drinks. They say alcohol could set your memories in cement as well as leave them in quicksand.
Misty’s built a whole case file while her ‘superior’ just feels that this should be tackled head-on. This includes Jessica Roberts, whom Misty thinks is a joke, but Natalie finding Travis’ license is a bit of a game-changer.
This is before the girls are gifted drinks from a grown-up goth, Kevyn Tan (Alex Wyndham), detective. In Jersey, though it may never be a ghost town, a town never forgets ghosts.
Back in the thick of it, with teen Misty performing as a one-girl-triage, Javi (Luciano Leroux) looks for his father. Natalie is left up to find Travis (Kevin Alves) until she finds him. He knows the game and though she prompts him to go help his brother, he does so with ire.
In her nice estate, a grown Taissa (Tawny Cypress) can breathe, but she can’t. Though her child can forgive the gift of food, her wife cannot.
“Between honest and ignorance.”
A simple Door Dash and quick entrance can’t buy off the family and her better half knows it. She isn’t convinced the politi-talk saves their child from failing at school and it certainly doesn’t save their communication. Maybe putting him in public school was a mistake. Maybe she wants better for her child. Maybe she wants an Elite.
As Shauna and a very cut Jeff in the boudoir disrobe for a night of fucking, he suggests that she be something else. Basically, anybody that isn’t with a romantic flank.
Requesting that she leave her shirt on with him doing the same, the duo feebly attempts roleplay, though, on all intellectual levels, this fails all the same. Adult problems come into purview, as her getting into an accident, leaves her sitting on the bed and him cranking elsewhere.
Going back to the crash, Shauna consoles Jackie as to why Van now harbors a hatred of choosing one life over another. This isn’t team building 101. It matters none, as Shauna comes with a bottle of menstrual cramp pills that could heal someone else. Laura Lee finds her stuffed salvation until her lily-white heaven is met with well-read death with Coach Martinez’s spiked demise on a tree.
Even with the girls in a state of panic, Jackie tries to rally them to get him out of the tree. Van isn’t happy about being left for dead, but the team rallies together until Travis goes literal ape to get what is simply a body.
Though the team bands together to bind him for a softer landing, what the branch breaks lie something sweeter. The tree bears bloody fruit. Misty realizes this very quickly.
We thus come onto the first symbol carved into a tree, which is exactly what had been on everybody’s postcards.
Though shaken, receiving one herself, Taissa hasn’t a moment for rumination. She’s to take care of her son, though normal bedtime stories carry no truck. Instead, the only way to connect with her son is through a flashlight with shadow animals, only leading her to the trauma of facing one in real life. A blood-thirsty wolf. It’s the wilderness, baby!
Taking her kid about the block means nothing as yet signs rule around her kid, him choosing to draw pictures about a woman that stalks him at night.
With a grown Natalie trying to thaw out the steak, she’s met with a new meet. It’s Adam (Peter Gadiot), talking about her rear-ender, which she ate. A little too close to home, if you’re calling it.
He calls to afford her free everything in exchange for one date.
His cavalier approach doesn’t sit well with her, and though she bristles at the sight of thawing gristle, she hates more lagomorphs feasting on her new lifestyle.
This animalistic thing kicks in and not only does she butcher the fucker, but also serves him on a plate to her family with purpose.
Flash to a younger Shauna guiding Javi into a first of many, with Misty carrying the first of many with the team. Natalie offers Travis a swig from her flask, as he’s going to need it before she takes one last swing.
In her post-youth, Natalie is kind of a mess, a punk rocker with nowhere to go but hit up Travis’ old phone has it rebuffed all the same. The rejection would swing in acute pathos that a ’90s movie would welcome if she weren’t so obtuse.
This isn’t the ’90s.
It’s 2021 and any fur over your eyes may pale in comparison to the wool that may be pulled over them.
In Melanie’s ‘fine life,’ she consumes meat at the familial gathering with as much revulsion as you’d think.
This table may be set, but the family is far from it. The chili is on point, with a period, but her explanation of how it’s made leaves her loved ones with a question mark.
Cue: Portishead “Glory Box”.
The felled girls spark a fire for their first night outside of camp, with a business jet as their graveyard. As Lottie (Courtney Eaton) guns for her pills to save face, Shauna consoles Javi from a cold world around a warm fire, Liv securing their death by eating Corn Nuts (a Heather reference), whilst Tiassa (Jasmin Savoy Brown) congratulates Lottie saving Allie from this pain.
A dead team is awakened. Maybe it’s hunger. Or maybe, gathered around that fire for one night, they just knew which ones to befriend or worse. Either way, it was a gorgeous moment these sisters on the field will never have again.
Misty views it otherwise because this isn’t a fucking hair-braiding experience but rather survival. Heating up the ax, her survival is her only turn-on.
Before Shauna can fess up to a few of the iniquities and lies, a scream is heard. This will be the only time Misty can show her prowess before the real shit goes down.
Speaking of which, modern Jeff is ‘spent’ on modern Shauna. Oh, no, she didn’t kid about the rabbits. Those were foreplay. She hears his phone going off only to realize he’s been two-timing her. How instincts didn’t kick in before, I don’t know.
Outside of dwindling flames, the team slumbers as one unit. It’s the first thing they did together since winning the Regionals and nearly fucking dying. All slumber, but Misty, looking over them like a den mother.
As she takes leave to pee, she overhears how invaluable an asset she is to their survival. She discovers the all coveted black/red box, still intact.
We all have secrets. So why not harbor yours?
As Natalie is about to fly away in her Porsche Carrerra (I mistakenly thought was a 911 last time to fit in with the theme), she’s in need of help, as the dang thing didn’t start, beautiful as it is.
Misty seizes the opportunity to pull up and take a fellow Yellowjacket under her wing, under Nat’s proviso that she pilot the Fiat, the best tourin’ from Turin.
This means a road trip for both of them as Wilson-Phillips punches out on speakers with her captive, once a leader, now just beginning to chew her ear off (for now figuratively).
With that, young Misty proceeds to bash the team’s only source of saving. Pulling out its last guts, she finds to be the referee maybe better than die as a bloody nobody.
Maybe things can exist as black and white.
This gives us more insight into what an observer can do with a team under will and guidance.
This second episode off the bat hit me hard as well. I remember being in middle school, getting a call from a friend of a crush on a three-way finding out she wasn’t into me in middle school. The rejection wasn’t as brutal as Misty’s, but it stung all of the same. Go, Yellowjackets!