Gail in What We Do in the Shadows: Season 3 Episode 3 Recap

Gail in What We Do in the Shadows: the episode recap

If you have conquered nations, slain millions and lived to see the 1992 Dream Team, you have lived. If you have never had someone who will stick by your side, come hell or high water, maybe you have not. That is the idea at the center of “Gail”, an episode that finds out the vampires of Staten Island are only as good as the company they keep. Marika Sawyer wrote it and Kyle Newacheck directed.

The plot has two halves that run in parallel. Nandor, played by Kayvan Novak, plans to propose to Gail and turn her into a vampire. Meanwhile Colin Robinson, played by Mark Proksch, and Laszlo, played by Matt Berry, discover something about each other while taking apart a car. Both stories are about bonding, and both end somewhere the characters did not expect.

It is also one of the funniest episodes of the season. The humor comes from specifics: a vampiric council website that looks like it was built on Geocities, a mini-fridge stolen for love, and a kickball game in the snow with supernatural stakes.

Nandor in love, and Gail comes to the house

At the Vampire Residence, Nadja, played by Natasia Demetriou, calls out for Nandor, who is nowhere in sight. She needs help updating the Vampiric Council’s website, which looks like it could have been made on Geocities, though it does have a guestbook to sign. Nandor has been flighty lately. Laszlo thinks he has been busy at a particular store, and Guillermo, played by Harvey Guillen, has no idea where he has been. Colin Robinson takes it on himself to follow him, which leads the gang to a hotel, where they find Nandor with Gail, played by Aida Turturro.

Nandor is in love. With Gail coming to headquarters, he pulls out all the stops. He has had a dry spell of two centuries, and although he and Gail have been on and off for the past 40 years, he knows her well, down to the Bob Seger shirts she wears.

Guillermo is not thrilled that his master will move mountains and steal his mini-fridge for someone who would not commit to a relationship. Nadja has her own grudge, because Gail keeps breaking Nandor’s heart by refusing to be turned into a vampire. The cycle continues: tonight Nandor will propose and make her a vampire so they can spend eternity together.

Both Guillermo and Nadja wish him well in the sense that they want him to break the chain. It is too late. Gail has arrived. She compares her boyfriend to a can of sardines, an acquired taste, something you can binge on, give up on and go back to. When Nadja barges in on Nandor dancing to Bob Seger’s “Night Moves,” the picture is clear. Gail is a leech of a kind, and because Nandor is gaga about her, she will never fully become a proper bloodsucker.

Colin Robinson, Laszlo and the secret garage

Elsewhere in the house, Colin raids the library for the history of energy vampires and comes up dry. He asks Laszlo for help, but the search is short-lived. Laszlo spots an out-of-place book that was never published in hardback. A tug of the spine opens a hidden room, which holds Laszlo’s old car, seized by the Vampiric Council when he was found transporting miners across state lines.

Colin admires the car, a Stutz that runs on petrol and coal, and the two have the idea of taking a road trip. Colin is already prepared with a road mix of 25 consecutive “Hey There Delilah” tracks and trail mix to shove in the seat nooks. Before they can go anywhere they need to get the car out of headquarters, and after backing over Colin and running him over, they agree the best way is piece by piece.

The dismantling gives them real time together. Each thinks the other was lonely and needed saving. It is cute and poignant as they share information about their parents. Colin is still concerned about his origins: his father was a flamboyant gadabout in the 1920s and his mother was just boring. Laszlo was raised by a nanny who made him learn Latin in the nude, which he thoroughly enjoyed.

There is no time for more parental stories, because carrying the parts through headquarters knocks over a series of priceless antiquities and leaves a trail of destruction. By the time reassembly is finished, they have shattered the blood chalice of Vlad the Impaler, massively dented the sarcophagus of Amen-Ra, and torn the Shroud of Urine, which is more valuable than the Shroud of Turin. The Guide arrives, furious. All of this could have been avoided if they had noticed they were in a garage, with a big red button on the outside and one on the inside. She leaves, since dealing with the insurance agency will be a bigger headache, and Colin and Laszlo drive off in their finished project.

Gail, the full moon and the kickball game

Back in the party room, Gail is about to leave, since Thursday night is Grey’s Anatomy night. Nadja tries to buy time, even though it is Saturday. No amount of pleading with someone she is known to dislike prepares her for the anger she is about to feel. It is a full moon, and Gail turns out to be a werewolf. Nandor’s co-leader has been literally sleeping with the enemy.

Nandor admits to dating a werewolf. She was human when they met and was only recently turned. Nadja is livid, because as co-leader of the Vampiric Council, being amorous with a mortal enemy is not a good look. Guillermo declines to intervene, since he sees the situation correcting itself. All Nandor wants is for the crew to meet Gail’s clan, mix it up and mend the age-old rift. Colin signs on, the others follow, and Nadja relents.

At a baseball field, the introductions are shaky. The werewolves run after a car as it honks, which is one of the most adorable jokes in the episode. Nandor apologizes for the abandoned Circuit City incident, prompting a werewolf to play the most spiteful game of fetch imaginable. When Nadja tries to say hello she is met with growls. On the second try she notices Gail is missing, and so do the others. Gail is in the back, kissing Anton, the werewolf who turned her, played by Derrick Beckles. They are not exclusive, Gail says. Guillermo approaches as Nandor’s bodyguard and “heart guard,” and Anton reminds his crew to take their HeartGard, a second great werewolf joke.

With neither side trusting the other, Guillermo proposes a solution: a good old-fashioned game of kickball. It is played at night on a snow-covered field, and both teams have superpowers and animal instincts that can help or hurt. At one point a player catches the ball and buries it. The strength of Team Edward holds until Nadja rockets the ball, perhaps accidentally, at Gail’s head and kills her instantly.

Nandor falls into desperation and turns her into a vampire at once. Because she died a werewolf, the procedure has to be done both ways: he must puncture her neck with his fangs and puncture his own vein to feed the blood into her mouth. It is vampiric CPR, and a midnight miracle. With spirits high, Nandor proposes.

The best jokes and moments of “Gail”

• The website. The Vampiric Council’s Geocities-style page, with its guestbook.
• The Stutz. Laszlo’s car, which runs on petrol and coal and had been locked in a hidden room.
• The Shroud of Urine. One of the antiquities Colin and Laszlo wreck.
• HeartGard. Anton’s reminder to his crew, in answer to Guillermo’s “heart guard.”
• Team Edward. The vampires’ kickball side, facing the werewolves in the snow.
• Vampiric CPR. Nandor revives Gail with fangs and his own blood.

Gail review: why this episode works

Gail has been married before, and the experience was not her cup of blood. She tables the proposal for another 40 years, since she is eternal now. Nandor is sad but accepts it. She also needs to fly to Buffalo in the morning for her daughter. She leaves on good terms with the vampires, though leaving on good terms is not the same as leaving with grace, and it is her first night as a bat.

At the house, Nadja and Nandor pick apart The Guide’s botched update of the website when a honk sounds. The house rushes out, expecting Gail, and finds Colin and Laszlo with their new Stutz, offering them a drive. The pair did not find Nandor’s sweetheart, but they were given something more useful: a night together.

This is one of the best episodes of the series, because it answers two questions fans had been asking, whether Nandor will find love and whether two members of the household who never hung out will do so. It sets the children of the night against the children of only very specific nights. It has Aida Turturro, known to many as Janice from The Sopranos, in a part that fits her, and it makes room for Derrick Beckles, whose show Hot Package was a real inspiration for where comedy can go. Moving forward, it could only get crazier.

Sources

• What We Do in the Shadows (TV series), Wikipedia — Checked against: season and episode list, cast and air dates.