Apparently, when Matt has to beat the absolute crap out of cops, they all conveniently happen to be corrupt as all hell. Needing information and unwilling to kill, Matt carries the only surviving head (pun intended) of the Russian mob to a condemned (double meaning!) building. Here, the brutal exchanges between Matt and Vladimir begin.
As the situation deteriorates around them, Matt and Vladimir spar about who they are, and what they are there for. Matt in particular is forced to come face to face with his reticence to kill. Vladimir goes after him viciously for his inability even to let him die, and how that is a weakness that Fisk will use over and over again. In a moment of vulnerability, Vladimir takes advantage and nearly gets them both killed sending them plummeting a few stories into the basement.
In the meantime, Fisk shows how ruthless he can be, ordering the deaths of several policemen, including the rookie in an incredibly painful and gruesome way. Vladimir, slowly realizing that the man in the mask didn’t actually kill his brother, tells him that he will need to be able to kill if he wants to bring down Fisk, that once he entered this arena, he was no longer a man, but an animal, and they will do anything to survive.
I think that this was the most contained episode so far. In terms of location and time-span, it almost seemed like it was a play on stage. Because of this, in terms of the plot, there wasn’t a huge amount of advancement, but the episode is so key because it gets us into the mind of both Murdock and Fisk, using Vladimir as a catalyst to let us see what makes them both tick.
The pacing of this series is just excellent, as we finally see Fisk and Murdock exchange words, and while they don’t realize it, they expose us to the fact that they’re really just two sides of the same coin. What will be exciting is to see how alike the two of them actually become and how close Matt will come to crossing that line.
WARNING: Spoilers through Outlander’s tenth episode.
Is it hot in here? Phew. I’m hot. I’ll just turn up the AC while we talk about the first few minutes of Outlander’s tenth episode, “By the Pricking of My Own Thumbs.” Right off the bat we’re treated to to the reason why 90% of viewers tune in: the “romance.” After last week’s rough episode, it is nice to see the tender moments between Claire and Jamie, especially since we so rarely get to see a woman pleasured on screen. But that’s a discussion for another time.
Despite the introduction, this isn’t an episode which focuses on the pair’s relationship. Instead, it sees them spending most of the hour apart, each showing strength in their own ways. It’s another solid episode for Outlander now that the plot has moved along from the first few episodes of last season. It also helps that the writing has been significantly streamlined from the book and we aren’t treated to a history lesson every ten pages.
After watching the episode, I only had one concern: where is Frank Randall? I understand that Jamie and Claire are the focus now, but surely after hearing his voice at Craigh na Dun she’s thought of him. Besides, Show Frank is SO much more interesting and likable than Book Frank.
On to the smut. After a steamy (and sweet) moment between Jamie and Claire, Murtagh interrupts with news about the Duke of Sandringham’s arrival. (Seriously man, did you not hear her? Give the two a moment.) The Duke of Sandringham is a name we’ve heard throughout the series, and we know he holds power, especially for Jamie. The joy in his voice when he tells Claire that he might finally be pardoned and she could be his Lady of Lallybroch reminds me that Jamie is so much younger than Claire. He isn’t naive to the ways of the world, and he’s strong, but he holds his elders in such high regard that it never crosses his mind they might not be honorable. Claire, on the other hand, doesn’t have such notions about these men, nor does she have issue with standing up to them–which is why she ends up forcing his hand into accepting Jamie’s offer.
Last week I wondered how things with 16-year-old Laoghaire might turn out since Jamie didn’t exactly turn her away. I mean, he just kind of stood there while she made him grope her breasts. Okay, he basically gave her the go ahead to get crazy and start claiming him as her own. “I love Claire. Sorry.” WAS THAT SO HARD, JAMIE? I actually feel bad for the young girl but that sympathy only goes so far because as we’ll see by the end of the episode, Jamie’s stupidity where women are concerned has disastrous consequences.
Claire spends much of the episode curb-stomping people into submission and I cannot help but fist bump her strength. Let’s sum up her victories during the episode: making the Duke cry, peeing on Jamie to exhibit her ownership to Laoghaire, telling BFF Geillis that killing husbands ain’t kosher, drugging Dougal, and telling Jamie that people be crazy for believing in changelings. I know I say this every time I talk about the show but I cannot express enough how much I love Catriona Balfe’s portayal of Claire.
Thanks to my girl Claire, the Duke of Sandringham agrees to hear about the injustice against Jamie. However, in order to assure the Duke’s approval of Jamie’s grievances against Black Jack Randall, Jamie must stand as his second in a duel. The gun fight goes off without consequence but the subsequent slew of insults between MacKenzie and MacDonald clans leads to a sword fight where Jamie is stabbed and the Duke hilariously begs him not to tell Claire he was not responsible. I only assume it’s because he doesn’t want his title stripped.
Elsewhere, Geillis Duncan performs a naked ritual and has grand delusions about her love toward Dougal MacKenzie. Despite Claire’s protests to not do anything hasty, Geillis chuckles and says, “Girl, I do what I want.” As I’ve already spoiled because I have no concept of an outline, both Dougal’s wife and Geillis’ husband journey to that big kilt in the sky and no one has any idea how such a thing could have occurred.
Because of Dougal’s drunken outburst and tryst with Geillis Duncan, and Jamie’s fight with the rival clan, Colum orders the two away from Castle Leoch. They whine, “But Daaaad…” and he won’t have any of it. As Jamie is making out with Claire leaving, he warns Claire to stay away from Geillis Duncan, knowing her part in all of this Real Housewives of Castle Leoch drama. Claire continues making out agrees and this moment is vaguely like the one when Jamie tells her to stay put and while I want to be all girl power, in this situation, I kind of just want to yell at Claire to listen to her husband. Naturally, the FIRST thing Claire does is respond to a note from Geillis, telling her to come quick, and the 12-year-old in me giggles. After arriving at Geillis’ home, Claire soon realizes both she and Geillis have been set up, but Geillis being intelligent is like, “Pssshhhh” and lets the guards inside. They arrest Geillis, claiming her to be a witch, and then arrest Claire just because she’s there. No word on the Duncan’s servant girl. I assume she bribed the guards.
Now a criminal, Claire mentally curses Jamie because really, by now, he should know not to leave her alone. However, upon seeing the person responsible for her imprisonment, Claire reconsiders it might be good for Jamie to not be around when she tears off the young girl’s face.
This post contains spoilers for the first season of Marvel’s Daredevil
One of the best episodes in the Netflix series Daredevil was Episode 7, “Stick”, named after the blind mentor that trained young Matt Murdock how to fight and best use his senses. Of course, with one of the best episodes comes one of the biggest questions. At the tail end of the episode, Stick is seen reporting to a hulking figure asking if Matt will be ready “when the doors open.” Exactly who was Stick talking to at the end of the episode? Let’s see if we can find out.
The Answer (or what I think is the answer):
Update 1: Upon viewing the credits (which Netflix happens to minimize for you) it was revealed the character is actually Stone played by Jason Finney. You can read more about Stone below in the original post. – Editor-in-Chief, Bilal Mian
Update 2: I’ll be the first to admit that I was wrong. Stupid credits, lol. HOWEVER, I still assert that Madame Gao is from K’un L’un. – Terence
Stone is another leader of the Chaste usually depicted in the comics as the second-in-command to Stick. Stone has extensive training in the martial arts. His core power and his namesake is his ability to become impervious to nearly any attack, as long as he is aware of the incoming threat. This makes his mastery of his senses even more important.
Original Postas follows:
Lei-Kung the Thunderer. Not Stone, who most people are saying.
The Evidence:
One of the biggest misconceptions is about Nobu. If you’ll notice, the Yakuza are mentioned multiple times as the employer for Nobu. However, all of those times that the Yakuza are mentioned, it’s NEVER by anyone in the know. Matt, Karen, and even Ben constantly refer to the Japanese presence as Yakuza, but Fisk, Owlsley and Madame Gao not once speak of Nobu as Yakuza, they simply refer to Nobu and his people as “the Japanese”. Add some mentions of “Nobu and his clan” we can only come up with one answer.
The Hand is a shadow ninja clan who will become one of the Daredevil’s greatest adversaries. Add in the mention of “the Greek girl” who was in Matt’s Spanish class in college (Elektra Natchios, one of the most iconic characters in Daredevil) and it’s all but confirmed that Nobu and his red ninja outfit are the Hand.
Which of course, according to comic lore, makes Stick part of “The Chaste”, an organization of warriors (a term Stick uses when talking to Matt) dedicated to stopping the Hand and their attempts to take over the world. Most people will answer that Stone is the mysterious figure that Stick is talking to, as Stone is Stick’s ally in the Chaste. However, in the comics, Stick is the leader of the Chaste, it makes no sense that he would be reporting to Stone, unless Marvel is taking some liberties in the cinematic universe which they often do, but a better answer lies ahead.
Madame Gao is the mysterious figure who operates the Chinese arm of Fisk’s criminal empire. Everyone, good and bad, assumes that she’s part of the Triad. However, she alludes to the fact multiple times that she is in fact even older than she looks. When she speaks to Matt about why her workers blinded themselves, she speaks of them having faith in a greater power. Lastly, when she speaks to Owlsley about returning home, he asks if she’s going to China, and she replies that she’s going even further. China is pretty much the furthest you can be away from New York, which leads me to one conclusion.
Madame Gao is an immortal citizen of K’un L’un.
K’un L’un is the mystical city where Danny Rand is taken in after he is orphaned. He is trained in the martial arts under Lei-Kung the Thunderer, the leader of the army in the city. You may know Danny Rand by another name, the Immortal Iron Fist. Look at the marking on Gao’s packets of heroin. Does it remind you of anything else? Oh yeah, the chi marking of the Dragon Shou-Lao the Undying, Guardian of K’un L’un, and the mark of the IRON FIST.
The gates between K’un L’un and our world open once every decade. This makes the perfect opportunity for Madame Gao to make her journey back home, and when the mysterious figure with the scars on his back asks if Murdock will be “ready when the doors open” what do you think that can possibly mean?
Does this mean that the mystical realm of K’un L’un will stand in for The Chaste in the Marvel Cinematic Universe? This writer definitely thinks so, and if it does, I believe that it will serve as an amazing way to tie together the mythology of the street level heroes and the mysticism of Iron Fist. It would make perfect sense that Stick is reporting to Lei-Kung if he is the head of the forces of K’un L’un, readying our realm and standing by to throw back the forces of the Hand instead of The Chaste.
12 Monkeys Season 1, Episode 13 – “Arms of Mine” Air Date: April 9, 2015 Grade: A-
We’ve made it to the season finale of “12 Monkeys” and it’s been one crazy ride full of unexpected twists and turns. It all culminates to a Cole and Ramse showdown, potentially changing the course of both their fates.
While throughout the series Cassie has been set up as our heroine who makes the moral choices, in this episode we finally see her dark side. Early in “Arms of Mine,” Cole is beating the crap out of Aaron for information on the Army of the 12 Monkeys when the virologist enters the room and condones the torture. They find out though that Aaron doesn’t know much, only that they (Cassie and him sans Cole) can weather out the plague because there was no way to stop it. He didn’t know who Ramse was, only that the woman (Olivia) was his contact and that they were preparing for the coming of the twelve. He tells them of the facility in Colorado and that the woman was one of Markridge’s key investors.
Just as Cassie and Cole are discussing their next move, Aaron breaks free and makes a run for it. The two men grapple and fight in a room filled with various industrial solvents. Aaron uses makeshift torch and Cole’s jacket catches on fire. The two continue their tussle but Aaron gets trapped underneath a shelf as the whole room is engulfed in flames. Cassie runs in and tries to help her ex-boyfriend but Cole stops her, saying that they had to get out of there. The two leave a screaming Aaron, but I’m sure this won’t be the last we’ll see of him.
Cassie pushes her grief down and gets to their next task, figuring out a way to get into Markridge to find out about Olivia. It’s easier for her this way of course because Aaron wasn’t all bad, he just made poor choices after realizing that he was loosing his lady love to Cole and the mission to save humanity. After some Internet searching, Cassie pulls up an article showing Jennifer as Markridge’s new CEO. The two head to a private Markridge stockholders event hoping to see Ms. Goines privately.
They manage to get Jennifer alone in a room and the former mental patient is none too happy to see Cassie, her infatuation with Cole still going strong. In a completely uncharacteristic move, Dr. Railly slaps the new Markridge chief and tells the other woman that she doesn’t have time for her crap. Jennifer sobers up and tells them about Ethan Seki, a genius venture capitalist and none other than Ramse. She goes on to say that he’s been obsessed with a government project in the Raritan Valley National Laboratory. This of course is the future location of Project Splinter. Once the duo leave, Jennifer is on the phone with presumably Olivia, letting her know that it’s done.
We shift gears and find out what Ramse’s other goal had been all these years. He funded research at Raritan so that he could one day use the machine himself and go back to the future and be with his son. A goon accompanies Ramse to the lab and there he meets the project’s director and Katarina’s ex-husband, Dr. Elliot Jones. Turns out that he was the one sending vines to the future as a means of testing out the time machine! Well that is one mystery solved. Ramse has arranged to be get some private time with the device in order to send himself back to his original time.
Cassie and Cole get into Raritan through the exhaust tunnels and separate. Cassie ends up going into a room filled with the red vines and she begins to hear Olivia’s hypnotic voice again, telling her that she’s walking through a red forest. This is definitely strange though because the vines that Elliot was sending to the future was green, so where did these red ones come from?
Cole manages to get to the machine room as Ramse is making final calibrations. The other man is completely surprised to see his ex-best friend alive. Ramse explains that he’s here to return to the future and Cole is still aghast that he would kill billions of people to save just one person. Ramse begs to differ, saying that Cole was coming back to the past was to save Cassie. Touche. This has been a recurring theme throughout the entire season and it’s been great television to see how each character has acted when faced with this decision.
Dr. Railly appears then and we have a Mexican standoff with the goon pointing his gun at Cassie, Cole’s hovering between Ramse and the goon, and Cassie’s dead set on Ramse. This has to be my favorite scene in the episode because Cassie confronts Ramse about killing billions of people while Cole is actually defending his ex-bff, not wanting her to shoot him. He’s caught in a weird situation where he understands the other man’s motivation but obviously still cares for him. In an unexpected move, Cassie’s expression changes as she says, “He’s made his choice,” and then pulls the trigger. She then gets shot by the goon and whom Cole shoots after. What a mess!
Ramse tells Cole to send Cassie to Jones, knowing full well that if he still went the physicist wouldn’t help him anyways. Oh Ramse, my heart goes out to you for sacrificing seeing your kid to help a former friend out. We see a glimmer of how things used to be between the two men and not gonna lie it’s kind of awesome. Cole injects Cassie with the serum and soon she disappears into the future.
We change scenes to Olivia who’s at the 12 Monkey’s secret lair. Here we finally meet “the 12” and they turn out to be 12 healthy babies. Olivia wears the expression of a joyful mother as she gazes on them, which in this situation only lends to her creepiness. Of course she has more cryptic things to say like, “At last the new cycle has begun.” The other man with her comments that in 28 years they’ll be ready, which makes us believe that they could be the hooded brotherhood in 2043. Then she goes on to explains that The Witness had forseen this. Uhhhhhh WHAT?!?!?! Great, that means Ramse is not The Witness after all. Not cool guys, not cool. While Olivia is waxing on about how history will find Ethan Seki dead at the accelerator he helped financed and that his cycle has ended, bless Cole for having other plans. We see him coming back in and taking Ramse with him.
Jumping to 2043, the vines keep appearing on the accelerator chair and it continues to baffle Jones. She doesn’t believe that it’s an anomaly and there has to be some reason why it keeps appearing. Whitley is back as well asks her why they are still there if the mission is truly over. Jones though finds it difficult to just abandon her life’s work. Outside the facility, Deacon is with the new group plotting their assault. They get help form one of the former Spearhead scientists who wants Jones to pay for what she did. The invaders use dozens of bats attracted to the vibration of Project Splinter’s core and the animals end up being smashed into the cooling vents, overheating the machine. It shuts down all the power and Deacon and the others enter via the same exhaust tunnels that Cassie and Cole went through in 2015.
Inside Raritan, Jones takes out a set of explosives and attaches it to the machine. When Deacon and the hooded brotherhood enter the accelerator room, the German doctor tells them that she’s ready to blow the machine up unless they let the others go peacefully. Their leader agrees and as Whitley leaves, Jones hands over the bomb trigger. As Deacon is escorting her to a cell, Cassie materializes and shocks the bejeebus out of everyone.
But what would a season finale be without a tantalizing cliffhanger? And for that we get the last scene showing Jennifer inside a private plane while cargo is being loaded and Olivia’s voice over saying that the release of the virus is out of their hands, exactly as it should be. Ms. Goines is traveling around the world for the next six months to finish some “work.” Has Olivia convinced her that releasing the virus is meant to undo all the damage that her father (and other men) have done to the world? In the end is she truly responsible for starting the plague? Ahh!! We’ll have to wait until next season to find out.
It has been an absolute treat to be shocked week after week by the characters and storyline of “12 Monkeys.” Just when you think you know what’s going on, another element is introduced and you’re left brooding on new questions and wondering where exactly is everything headed next? It’s the uncertainty that keeps fans hooked and a great accomplishment for the whole team behind “12 Monkeys” to have achieved that because addictive TV shows happen so rarely. The show has certainly surpassed my expectations and has delivered a sci-fi mystery that explores various tropes in a fresh way.
So thanks Syfy for renewing the series for a season two, you made the right choice. Till then we’ll be coming up with our own conspiracy theories on whether or not Aaron, Ramse, or Cassie survive, what exactly the 12 newborns are going to do, who the real Witness is, whether Jennifer is really going to release the virus, why Ramse, Pallid Man, and Olivia don’t age, and most importantly if Cole and Ramse make up. Phew.
Best-unexpected moments:
Aaron getting trapped in the burning room.
Wind Beneath My Wings playing at the Markridge stock holders meeting
Jennifer: “That’s all I hear when your face hole opens.” Then Cassie slaps her face.
Cassie shooting Ramse and then getting shot herself.
Olivia revealing that it was her plan to have Ramse be killed at Raritan.
Cole sending Cassie to Jones in the future.
Olivia revealing that the 12 are really 12 babies, likely the future 12 hooded men.
Olivia saying that this was all foreseen by The Witness, aka RAMSE IS NOT THE WITNESS. WTH.
Cole coming back to save Ramse, the bromance is BACK ON.
Best lines of the episode:
Aaron: You destroyed everything in my life. You’re no savior Cole, you’re just a savage.
Cole: You wanna know what makes a savage? Seeing shit that no kid should ever see and then doing the same thing to survive. I was just a boy watching the world die alone. Now I know who I have to thank for that.
*****
Cole: They love her.
Cassie: Looks like she finally got the dosage right on those meds.
*****
Elliot: We’ve achieved temporal displacement and found a way to make it incredibly boring.
*****
Ramse: Without me coming here it would never have happened. Jones didn’t even want me there in 2043 and it was mine. Easy. It took time travel to create time travel. That’s how it works. There are no straight lines.
Warning: This interview contains spoilers for the April 9 episode of “Dig.”
If USA’s event series “Dig” seems like the perfect blend of political intrigue, character-driven mystery and high-octane adventure, it should. The ambitious 10-episode project comes from “Homeland” producer Gideon Raff and “Heroes” creator Tim Kring, setting forth a complex, multigenre narrative that spans continents and cultures to explore the deep-rooted rituals of Middle East religion and present-day stateside cults.
Actress Alison Sudol portrays young, idealistic archaeologist Emma Wilson, whose apparent murder in the pilot kicks off an investigation into international conspiracy and ancient prophecy that could potentially alter the course of human history. Thursday night’s game-changing twist revealed Emma is actually alive, however, making her role in the series and its complicated framework all the more crucial.
The Workprint spoke with Sudol about her character’s evolution on and off-screen, and how this epiphany will send the remaining four episodes into excavation overdrive.
WP: Early reviews made direct reference to your character being the anchor and, in a lot of ways, the most compelling aspect of the show. You’re the missing link of sorts to connect the three main storylines — between what’s happening in Jerusalem, what’s happening with the compound in New Mexico and what’s happening with the red calf. Now, along with the symbol that was discovered in Emma’s journal in episode five, everything is really starting to come together after a slow burn. I know I was disappointed to see her get killed off, at least deceptively, at the end of the pilot. Although things have been progressing without you, you’ve still been a presence on the show.
All that being said, it’s a major surprise to see Emma resurface for the second half of the series. How is she going to continue serving the same purpose with this revelation happening? From what we saw at the end of episode six, she’s clearly terrified and has been through a lot. She’s lost that effervescent whimsy that she had in the pilot. Are you changing your approach to the character as she moves forward?
Ronen Akerman/USA Network
Sudol: As a person, you can’t endure something that’s as shocking as what she’s gone through – which we’ll find out more about in coming episodes – and not have it affect you. I think that there’s a pretty serious depth to it that affects her. What would be the way to describe it? Her effervescence, as you said?
WP: Sure. For lack of a better term, she’s kind of the Manic Pixie Dream Girl in the pilot, and she’s not really able to embody that after the trauma we don’t know about yet. Clearly, though, things have shifted for her.
Sudol: Yeah. But at the same time, at her core she’s a fighter. Even from this terrible situation that she’s been in, she’s managed to get herself out. She has a pretty powerful life force. So, a little bit of her whimsy maybe has shifted into something more focused. I guess it’s a bit darker. But there’s still something to her. There’s still that sense of mystery. It’s just evolved. I think that’s a large part of what makes her interesting as a character, and what she brings out in Peter [co-star Jason Isaac] as well.
WP: For the most part, from episodes two through five, Emma’s been a symbol. But now she’s back in the flesh and you said she has a bit more focus. So now that she’s able to be a living person and contribute to the narrative in a more direct way, she’s going to have an even stronger presence on the show in that sense. Were you able to look at her from a different perspective? As an actor, you typically construct your own character history before you enter production, but in this case Emma’s backstory was constructed for you while she was presumed dead.
Sudol: There’s definitely a lot under the surface that I had to delve into in order to give her a realistic and living, breathing portrayal. I mean, it can’t just be flat. But, it’s definitely abstract because I was aware since the beginning that there are things about her that were even obscured from me. I had to leave room for that. What it gave me was a mystery about her for myself that I think gives an interesting feeling to the character. She’s a mystery to me. [laughs]. As people, we don’t always know what happened that makes us act in certain ways. Things happen in childhood that can completely shape the way we think and feel that maybe we don’t even recall anymore. But they are a part of us and they come alive in certain situations, and I think that’s how I approached [Emma] – like there’s a deep, subconscious well underneath her actions that I knew I would be able to see into at some point, and that’s what drove me, to get to that place and to uncover the answers.
WP: What parallels do you see between Emma and Lauren Ambrose’s character [Debbie, the escaped cult member in New Mexico]? They kind of seem to be each other’s antithesis. Emma is this ambitious free spirit. She’s very inquisitive, and she is the digger of the show, literally and figuratively, whereas [Debbie] willfully entered this very oppressive cult and suddenly realizes there’s a life to be lived and she’d been confined to a way of life and a way of thinking she really doesn’t even want to be a part of. These two female characters are really the strongest ones on the show, and their trajectories could really align well with each other despite the different paths they’re on.
Sudol: I think there are parallels between quite a lot of the characters and elements in the show, and that’s something we get a stronger sense of the more we go along. I mean, there are also parallels between colors – red is a very strong color in the show, and there’s certain red elements that correlate with each other. There’s just a lot at this point. We’re pretty much in the middle of the show, and the last episodes are so jam-packed with crazy amounts of information unfolding. I think you’ll see a lot more parallels and also a lot of paths kind of leading to the same point. It’ll make a lot more sense.
WP: It seems like a foundation has been laid, so to speak, in these first few episodes. We’ve been digging, as viewers, into the story and we’ve reached this point where we’ve really discovered something and there’s been an excavation going on. So I’m gathering that the pace might really kick into high gear after this, with the discovery that Emma’s alive?
Sudol: It does. It really does. It’s kind of like going into warp drive. [laughs]
WP: “Dig” is quite the ambitious project. As has been said, it’s a conspiracy 2,000 years in the making, and it’s being touted as a truly multi-layered experience. Was it intimidating to face such a high-concept show, and how did you respond to the material?
Sudol: I think the fact that there is so much depth to the material and that it is as ambitious as it is what was exciting to me. It’s bold, and it’s meant to give you far more questions than it gives you answers – at least for a while. That’s something I find compelling even though, as human beings, we always want to know immediately.
WP: Yes. We’re in an instant gratification kind of culture right now, for sure.
Sudol: Absolutely! We want an answer on Google within seconds, and if we’re not in good service and it takes, like, 45 seconds to get an answer we’re all, “This is ridiculous!” [laughs] We want internet on our airplanes. So, I think the fact that you have to be patient and you have to put things together and you might have to watch episodes more than once to actually get the clues that you need, those are all things that I’ve found to be kind of the opposite – it’s not that they’re not intimidating, but they made me more interested in actually creating this character and being part of the show. Easy things don’t usually set me alight. What could I learn from that?
Ronen Akerman/USA Network
WP: You actually touched upon something I was going to ask about next. Jason Isaacs has teased about this shocking revelation that’s coming up, and said viewers might want to revisit previous episodes after learning Emma’s fate. Do you think the show would play differently in retrospect after finding out Emma’s alive?
Sudol: Definitely. Because I know and I’ve known for such a long time, it’s interesting. I’ve had a different perspective on it, but I’ve tried to watch the episodes…[pause]
WP: As objectively as you can, anyway.
Sudol: Yeah, while not carrying that information with me as much as possible. I can see how you could miss things if you’re not really aware enough of how much you should be paying attention to the details. I can see how certain things would just fly by. You see a symbol somewhere, but it’s only a flash and you need to pay attention to where that flash was, or, something in Emma’s journal. These are things that her being alive definitely affects what they mean.
WP: Right. So, touching on that, “Dig” comes from the creators of “Heroes” and “Homeland,” and, like “Heroes” especially, begs the same type of viewing experience where, as a viewer, you really want to try and analyze every possible foreshadowing element or potential symbol. Do you think viewers could respond to it in that way where they’re almost, like a show like “Lost” did, creating their own culture, their own tangential, alternate universe of sorts?
Sudol: Certainly. I do think that is that strength in this second half of the season because after Emma comes back, a lot of things start coming together, and that’s when really big questions start coming to the forefront. That’s definitely been happening throughout the whole first half, but now the real discussions and debates will come because the backstory will start connecting with the present story in a clearer way, but there will still be pretty significant chunks there to argue with your friends about. [laughs] That’s kind of the intent of the show, to get people talking. An exciting part of any project is having people want to find out answers on their own. There’s a whole online thing on Dig Decoded that provides all kinds of backstory there and that’s meant for that exact purpose, for people to play detective on their own. This story needs all the help it can get, because it’s complex. The more that the viewer finds out for us, the better the show will unfold.
What will “Dig” uncover next? Find out Thursday nights at 10/9c on USA.
The thing I like most about Daredevil is that it doesn’t hold back. Five episodes in and we’re just as gritty, sexual, dark and fun as we were in episode one – possibly even moreso.
Although this wasn’t the sole focus of the episode, I couldn’t help but fixate on the growing relationship between Matt and Claire and what a damn relationship it is. Truly, chemistry between Charlie Cox and Rosario Dawson continues to astound me. It defines the show, in a way, and has the Marvel touch of two people who just work together, whose relationship doesn’t feel forced. We tend to take that for granted in today’s television shows, but specifically in the Marvel world. When the two have it out over how Claire can’t fall in love with Charlie because of the nature of his work and the person he’s becoming by focusing so much on his quest, it hits you where it hurts. I love that we get these emotions.
There’s a decent amount of action and exposition in this episode, which is a nice balance after episode four’s overly action filled hour. We get the small moments of Karen and Foggy (who are building up chemistry of their own in a great way), the bonding with Claire, and of course, the conflict with Kingpin. While Claire tells Matt she heard a name – Vladimir — Kingpin holds a meeting of his own. The intensity between these characters is what cements this show more than anything else, with a less competent cast, Daredevil wouldn’t be nearly as interesting. And Vincent D’Onofrio is absolutely nailing it with this role, bringing his manipulative, quiet attitude to a character that really is so much rooted in his emotions. But the fight scenes continue to be brutal and real, the violence continues to be gritty and dark, and it really adds to the whole atmosphere of the show as a whole. Blow up a whole apartment? Almost kill people? It happens, and it happens in a way that makes you realize you’re not watching a PG show.
Charlie takes a meeting at the office with a client who is overly upset about her building being turned into condominiums. Foggy attempts to reason with her and you can almost see good guy Charlie trying to control himself. He’s a vigilante at its finest, a superhero that you want to be – the person that will fight for good and wants to help everyone, but genuinely cares about the well-being of the people in his life and doesn’t do it for selfish reasons. But I also love what the show is doing in terms of focusing on Charlie’s as it relate to how heightened they are. When he’s listening to the interrogation at jail, we’re drawn in by Matt’s emotions, even though there’s not a lot of focus on Charlie’s face. But we see his reaction when the gunshot happens, when the attack comes, and in that moment, we get so much from his character.
And Foggy. Can we get a moment of applause for Foggy? When he’s standing up for himself, we really see his character start to shine. Even Karen is impressed. He’s been a real standout in the past few episodes and he’s starting to stand on his own two feet, and I guarantee by the end he’ll be more fully fleshed out than some people are in 22 episodes of television.
In the first half of its run, Daredevil has cemented itself as one of Marvel’s biggest hits – visually, storytelling wise, and character wise. And we’re only getting started.
When I first started reading comics, there were occasions where I’d mix up proper reading order. This led to flipping through issues that didn’t make a lick of sense to me, and only upon backtracking did my questions get answered – Jeopardy style. Well, that happened again. Through some unknown error that I can only blame on my own stupidity (Ed. Note: I blame Bilal), my pilot to this amazing series was, in fact, episode four. Needless to say, my view of the show is, shall we say, warped. Due to this chapter being so action packed I fear that I’m spoiled as a result. Since learning of my mistake, I’ve gone back and re-watched the first four episodes in their proper order, trying to condition my brain to see the series as it was intended. However I’m too far gone; this episode has such impactful moments that I don’t think my first impression can be unlearned.
This error means my opening didn’t start with the pivotal chemical spill, but with Vladimir and Anatoly fashioning shivs from ribs. An odd opening, but not a bad first impression; it certainly conveyed the series’ tone. The rest of the story unfolded like an episode of The Wire, as characters interacted with each other like I should already know what they were talking about; I loved it. I figured we were picking up the series in extreme medias res, and that the subsequent episodes “Cut Man” and “Rabbit in a Snow Storm” (yes, I oddly got back on track) were flashbacks meant to enlighten us to how Wilson Fisk started a gang war.
Hey, it made sense at the time. Open with a bang, and this episode did exactly that. Full of everything fans waiting for this series could ask for: the aforementioned rib usage, a slight Avengers reference, an appropriate amount of Foggy, and of course Matt and the Kingpin being ruthless in their own special ways.
For you readers who watched the episodes in their correct order (which I’m assuming is all of you) and patiently waited to see Mr. Fis- err, “Wesley’s employer”, I can only imagine the impact Vincent D’Onofrio’s chilling portrayal of the Kingpin had on you. His quavering whisper-speak as he courts Vanessa is chilling. When she evades his request for a second date, I wondered if he was about to kill her right then and there. Thankfully (for her) he does not; focusing his anger on poor, level-headed Anatoly, who after tarnishing Wilson’s image, doesn’t fare nearly as well. Though Fisk’s reaction is extreme, it stems from an emotion we can identify with: embarrassment. As he recounts his childhood to Vanessa, we see a sympathetic vulnerability. These emotions make him the most real villain in the Marvel universe; they humanize him . Sure, most – if not all – of the other Marvel villains are everything but human, but you get my drift. We see the cracks and identify with him; heck, I even like him.
On the lighter side of the moral gray spectrum these character inhabit is Matthew rescuing Claire from a brutal interrogation. We don’t actually see her getting hit, but the baseball bat combined with her bloodied body and Rosario Dawson’s stellar acting, are all we need. It’s an example of how this show is graphic without being overtly so. As Matt proceeds to dismantle the thugs with stealth and terror, it isn’t hard to see why we compare him to Batman. The origins, mortality, and flexible – yet rigid – morality, all lend themselves to an easy comparison of the two. The fight scene in the dispatch garage isn’t going to make avoiding that comparison any easier. It’s exactly like the shipyard scene in Batman Begins! People can say that in a positive or negative tone, but as a Batman fan as well, I choose the former. Compared to the violent fights in the bowling alley or shipping yard, we don’t actually see that much violence but the effect is felt. It’s another example of how this series toes the line of being violent without being gratuitous. (If they “turned it up to 11” a hopeful Punisher series would have nowhere to go.)
Realism has been one of the main endorsements to this series. Aesthetically, the sets, combat, and muted color palette, were my first impressions of this. Perhaps the truest aspect of this authenticity is its multicultural cast and the sustained use of subtitles. These choices validate the metropolitan quality of Daredevil’s world. Casting Black, Hispanic, and Asian actors just makes sense when recreating Hell’s Kitchen. By having theses characters speak Spanish, Russian, and Chinese (even if they aren’t subtitled) viewers are cognizant of the multicultural tapestry that makes up the neighborhood. Now, Hell’s Kitchen is on the rise as more high-end apartments pepper the neighborhood, but Daredevil corrupts this real-life gentrification by placing Wilson Fisk as the profiteer behind these shady white collar deals.
This episode exemplifies why the Kingpin and Daredevil are fan favorites; where Matt has a darkness to his good will, Wilson has an endearment to his brutality.
Don’t let your kids watch this series. This is not Captain America; this is not Starlord; this is not The Avengers. There is no good guy here. In those movies, there is good and evil. Good is exceptional, and the evil is fantastical. They talk about saving worlds, millions of lives, and even the universe. Loki is the big baddie in so many of Marvel’s movies, but he’s charming, witty, and theirs is a bit of incredulity to his evil.
The evil in Daredevil is not so unbelievable. Evil is rape, murder, child prostitution. This evil is made more real because we hear about horrors such as these day in and day out. The third episode of Marvel’s Daredevil opens on a brutal murder of a Russian crime boss in a bowling alley. There is an amusing bit on the reliance of new guns intercut between the gory and grisly execution of Prohaska, who is killed by a professional criminal named Mr. Healy to give his underworld empire to the Russian brothers under the guise of Veles taxi. The horrified shoe rental girl who returns to see the carnage at the alley calls the cops, only to have the murderer willingly give himself up to the police, setting up the entire episode.
We return to see Matt Murdock exhausted and somewhat defeated resting on a bench outside the church where he gave his confession in the first episode. The priest recognizes him as Jack Murdock’s son, and tries to get him to open up, saying that what is said in confession stays between them. Murdock questions the fairness behind this, and the morality of that silence. The line between justice and the rules is a theme that runs continuously through this episode, which is part of the strength of this hour.
Ben Urich is an interesting character. He’s at the fringe of the main plot but he always seems to be tugging at the right strings. He meets up with an old mob contact of his, and they discuss the old days, and what it meant decades ago to run crime in New York City. The old mob boss laments about the passing of decorum and codes. Urich knows something’s up, and his contact tells him to run, to give it up, because there is nothing but blood in the ledger. That feeling of dread, the presence of ‘him’ looms over the entire series. ‘He’ is everywhere without even having been in a single shot of the series so far.
The scenes in Nelson & Murdock are among my favorites in the series. The chemistry between Foggy, Matt, and Karen is palpable and it feels like there is a real camaraderie between them. However, I sincerely hope that they don’t make this a love triangle as Foggy is integral to Matt. Foggy is Matt’s conscience in many ways, and I hope they use that as a foundation for the series. Also, I dislike Karen Page in the comics, so making her likable on screen is no small feat.
The deceptively charming Wesley then stops by for a visit, representing Confederated Global Investments, and Foggy subsequently bumbles and blusters his way through their meeting, distracted by the dollar signs on the offered check. Matt, nonplussed, seeks to get to the bottom of who this man is and more importantly, who he is representing. Anyone can see that Wesley is not on the level, but the way that he does it, it feels like he’s a serpent wearing human skin, with a smile plastered on his face. Later, at the precinct, Foggy is visibly disturbed and shaken by Healy, who is blatantly using the technicalities of the judicial system to get away with premeditated murder. As Foggy is about to walk out, Matt swoops in and commits the firm to take the case, wanting to use Healy to gain insight on what’s to come to Hell’s Kitchen, despite Foggy’s pleas otherwise.
In another part of Hell’s Kitchen, Ben Urich is being told to stop his investigative reporting on the mob and focus on fluff pieces to drive up circulation. He laments this, but ultimately accepts, because his wife is in need of heavy hospital care and his job is the only way to pay for it. Later on in the episode, Karen is given, what is essentially, a legal bribe to keep quiet on the Union Allied affairs. Unable to soothe her conscience, she seeks out Daniel Fisher’s widow for closure, but finds none. Ultimately, she finds herself heading to Ben Urich for help.
The rest of the episode plays out like Law & Order: Hell’s Kitchen. When it comes to Daredevil, oftentimes the fact that Matt Murdock is a lawyer–and a damn good one–is overlooked. Seeing him in the courtroom and making an argument, albeit one that repulses him, shows off his acuity and legal knowledge. What he says about justice against the law is mirrored by the duality of his existence. Matt Murdock is ultimately an enforcer of justice, and he knows at times he is restricted by the law, therefore he willingly breaks it in order to right wrongs he cannot in the courtroom. As the lawyer, Matt learns the jury is being tampered with; as a masked vigilante, he beats enforcers into letting the blackmailed jurors go.
As the trial draws to a close, Matt predicts step by step what will happen and tells Foggy. There will be a hung jury, and the judge, somehow influenced, will not have the suspect tried again. Both Matt and Foggy know that perhaps the law was upheld, but justice was not served, something that Matt will remedy. As the court adjourns, Wesley assures Leland that everything will be fine, and that the reputation of Nelson & Murdock will be their shield.
Later that night, Matt tracks down Healy and the ensuing brawl is brutal. There is nothing super about Matt Murdock when he fights. He fights for his life, and every time, you wonder if he’s going to make it out whole. So far in the series, Healy is the most skilled fighter that he has ever dealt with, and the unrestrained, desperate nature of the fight shows that in spades. Matt, finally having the upper hand, gets two words out of Healy.
Wilson.
Fisk.
Upon uttering the words, Healy is broken, knowing that he not just only killed himself, but anyone that he’s ever cared about. Calling Murdock a coward for not killing him, he impales his head through the eye on a spiked fence. Maybe Matt Murdock was the lucky one for being blind because that image is forever burned in my memory.
And then finally, we see ‘him’. He who shall not be named. Vincent D’onfrio owns this role. When he is in a scene, he is suddenly the only thing that matters, and everything else is nothing. We find him in an art gallery, staring at a painting, when the curator tells him what art should do to a man. We see his face for a total of seven seconds, but his hulking presence, clad all in black, splashed against the stark white that will be his trademark, defines this episode. In a few minutes, we realize that as much as this series is about Daredevil, this series is also about Wilson Fisk, a villain who commands, who controls, and who is more cruelly intelligent than any comic book villain we’ve ever seen on screen.
Any man who must say “I am the king” is no true king.
This episode focuses on two things – well, actually, make that one thing: pain in its physical and emotional forms.
Like Matt’s confession in “Into the Ring”, “Cut Man” uses his injuries as a means to transition from the present to past. The confession, in which he reminisced about his father, provided clarity to the scene that preceded it, as it was the last time Matt saw his father. Similarly, this episode uses his injuries to bookend scenes which showcase key moments to understanding what molded Matt into the man we see becoming Daredevil.
In these flashbacks, his father is the constant. Skylar Gaertner and John Patrick Hayden do fantastic jobs creating a lovable bond between young Matt Murdock and his father, Jack. Their relationship isn’t overly saccharine, as tender bonding moments are balanced with routine surgeries. Additionally, without spending an inordinate amount of time on the issue, we’re made aware of Matt’s elevated hearing. A lost fight, mixed with a stack of cash and Jack’s disgust at the money, gives us more than enough information to realize he took a dive. At Fogwell’s gym, Jack’s conversation with Sully is relatively cordial, belying the threats laced within. Those who are familiar with Daredevil’s story, knew what these flashbacks were leading up to. Despite knowing the outcome, I was impressed by the death scene’s ability to elicit an emotion – something I don’t remember feeling in regards to the Waynes’ murder (to borrow from a similar alley death scene). As a whole, I find the flashback scenes help me understand Matt’s motivation in the present. The hate and anger he harbors about injustice is connected to his childhood. As a kid, he heard two mobsters telling his dad to throw a fight, his dad defies their wishes, and winds up dead.
As the flashbacks establish his character, the crux of the episode occurs in Claire’s apartment as she patches up Matt’s injuries–sustained from an unseen ambush the Russian’s staged in-between “Into the Ring” and the start of this episode. These scenes in her apartment further our understanding of his enhanced abilities while highlighting his mortality and tolerance to endure injury–an issue we rarely see in comic book fare. The consequences of what happens when Matt doesn’t perform at his very best immediately raises the stakes for the rest of the series. When they’re on Claire’s roof we see to what extent Matt will get his hands dirty. He possesses a moral line Frank Castle would cross, but he’ll also push you off a building without the courtesy of having Sam Wilson bring you back up.
For a change of pace between the flashbacks and events taking place at Claire’s apartment, we see Foggy comforting and flirting with Karen. These moments are necessary, to catch our collective breath, but I’m still on the fence about Elden Henson’s portrayal of Foggy. No doubt he brings a level of sincerity to the character’s heart, but at times his comedic delivery is grating. The best thing I can say is that my sentiment toward Elden is gentler than the feeling I have towards his illustrated counterpart.
True to form, this episode ends with a bang. Initially, I thought it was going to cut to the credits when Matt kicked in the first door, but boy, was I wrong. The kidnapped boy’s “Daddy” cry parallels the preceding scene where Matt discovers his own father. This memory sends him in a blind (sorry, I had to) rage, giving way to a fight scene that is executed with both authenticity and technical prowess, that leaves me slightly baffled. (Is it a steadicam? But, there’s that broken door. Is it a crane rig? But, I can see the ceiling. Most likely a blending of the two with some hidden cuts.) Either way, the scene is great, and lazy critics will compare it to Park Chan-wook’s “Oldboy”….and I will too! They both occur in (seemingly) one take and in keeping with the series’ grounded tone, as Matt hits his opponents, they don’t immediately go down. It also further typifies Claire’s comment about the amount of pain Matt can endure; something I’m sure we’ll see a lot more of.
“Heroes and their consequences are why we have our current opportunities.”
If you haven’t watched Marvel’s Daredevil, I’m here to tell you why you should at least put on the first episode (because then it’ll be the second and third and so on). If you have already binge-watched the series, high-five! Let’s have a chat.
Daredevil is the first of five planned Marvel shows on Netflix. It’ll be followed by A.K.A. Jessica Jones, Luke Cage, and Iron Fist, all of which will then culminate into The Defenders. Because Daredevil is the first, there’s a lot of pressure on it to set the tone for each subsequent series. If Daredevil fails, the sentiment will likely trickle down to the subsequent series, leaving us all sad. Someone will then write an article about how Daredevil killed comic book shows and movies. Thankfully, Marvel’s Daredevil is fantastic, something apparent right from the beginning, and if someone decides to write that article anyway, we gather our pitchforks.
The first episode, “Into the Fire” begins with a glimpse into Matt Murdock’s (the titular Daredevil himself) life, or namely, the moment he became blind as a child. It’s a sad scene, sure, but the important part is that there isn’t a 30-minute history lesson. Small kid gets into an accident, goes blind, screams, end scene. Boom. Perfect. So many shows and movies feel the need to narrate the back story before actually getting to the heart of it all and that’s boring. Daredevil, on the other hand, seamlessly weaves in these flashbacks and is very careful not to linger too long in the past, because the exciting parts are in present Hell’s Kitchen.
And five minutes into the show, that’s exactly what we get to. I was worried when Marvel TV Chief Jeph Loeb announced that Daredevil would be more a crime drama than a superhero show. And while Loeb is correct in his assessment, there also isn’t a dearth of action. Right off the bat, Matt Murdock (Charlie Cox), clad in the black mask known from “A Man Without Fear,” puts a stop to human trafficking down at the docks with his bare hands. (An aside, terrible things always happen dockside. Why is there not better lighting or security to prevent such trouble?)
An established fighter Matt may be, but he is not quite there in terms of his career as a lawyer. In fact, much of the first episode follows this beginning arc and the inception of his firm, Nelson and Murdock. Matt and his best friend, Foggy Nelson (sweetly played by Elden Henson), fresh from law school are out to obtain an office, clients, and hopefully some money along the way. It’s a day and night (literally) shift from the horrors of the previous night, as Foggy and Matt cheerfully look over real estate and argue about clients. Even the discussion about what led Hell’s Kitchen into more misery, the Chitauri Invasion from The Avengers, is brief but not exactly morose.
But the mood shifts again at the introduction of Karen Page (Deborah Ann Woll), the bloody knife in her hand, and the dead man before her. All of which she has no recollection. Naturally, she is brought in as the main suspect, so Foggy and Matt agree to take on her case for free, but only after Matt puts her through his own version of a lie detector test. This is one of the parts I enjoy about the show. Usually when a character uses such a power, like Matt’s enhanced hearing, the show borders on cheesy or unrealistic. Sometimes it even halts the experience all together. Instead, Daredevil continues the story, only gently increasing Karen’s heartbeat and we listen along with Matt. Karen doesn’t stop talking, there isn’t a strange overlay to drive home the “power” point. It’s just sound as Matt hears it.
Matt and Foggy soon realize that Karen isn’t just being framed for murder and she is embroiled in a money scheme that traverses deep into the seediest parts of Hell’s Kitchen. This is the part executive Jeph Loeb was talking about earlier. You see much of the legal process, the search for evidence, the slow climb to revealing the guilty party. However, there isn’t a case shift each episode. One ties into another and then again and again. It’s a string of crime dramas that–I assume–culminate in the final episode. Karen’s case is only the groundwork, an introduction to Fisk’s underlings and his ever creepy right hand man, Wesley.
I don’t have much in the way of complaints for this first episode. The fight scenes are engrossing, each of the actors solid in their way, the colors and sound are so good that I’m a bit sad I’ve never noticed such things in other shows. Matt Murdock as a character is so much more intriguing than any of the other superheroes Marvel has introduced. There are so many conflicts in his nature that I cannot begin to list them here. But one I will discuss is his mortality. Even in the first episode, Daredevil as a hero is fallible. He tires and doesn’t knock out the enemies with one hit or kick. He bleeds, a lot, and his injuries have an effect and aren’t just magically healed in a few hours. In fact, the only thing that really differentiates him from the baddies he fights is that Murdock ability to take a hit and get back up.
By the end of the episode, Karen is relatively safe, resolved in a similar way to any other television procedural, but you know that behind that sweet image of the trio eating lasagna lurks an evil we have yet see. An evil whose name we aren’t allowed to speak.
How daring is it? Not as daring as some of the later episodes. Actually, this first episode may be the most tame I’ve seen in the series and that’s saying a lot. But don’t think that means it’s a quiet 50-minutes by any stretch.
How devilish is it? The final two minutes of the show are my favorite in the series thus far. You never really notice the music in the show but when you do, it’s powerful. A simple, repetitive melody sets the tone for the dichotomy between Matt Murdock training with a punching bag and the evils he’s unaware he will eventually face. It’s haunting and exhilarating all at once.
Marvel’s Daredevil airs on April 10th and you can watch the entire 13-episode season at once on Netflix.
Louie Season 5, Episode 1, “Potluck” Air date: April 9, 2015 Grade: B+
Louie kicks off its fifth season with some good old-fashioned social anxiety. Last season was perhaps the boldest and most personal one yet, with long multi-episode story arcs that touched on his past, his daughters, and his relationships with Amia and Pamela. “Potluck” doesn’t contain nearly the same scope or gravitas, but Louie doesn’t always start each season with a flashy premiere. Instead, we’re treated to a nightmare scenario for the antisocial (or anyone, really) as Louie attends a parents’ potluck in an attempt to get out more. It’s a hilariously uncomfortable and painfully relatable premiere to one of the best comedies on television.
While Louie has employed surrealism in the past, I think its greatest strength is its depiction of the absurdity already present in everyday life. While often contrived in its comic extremes, Louie’s suffering is eminently relatable due to the mundanity of it all. Louie’s therapist falls asleep as he tries to articulate the existential rut in which he currently finds himself, and his only reaction is reflexive disgust: “Oh my god… I’m a boring asshole now!” This isn’t a new revelation (his doctor/neighbor last season told him the same thing), but it’s a universal fear that we all resist, deny, or try to forget. Without any help from the therapist, Louie takes it upon himself to escape his ennui, and invites himself to the parents’ potluck he normally avoids.
If “Potluck” has any overall theme, it’s probably this: genuine human connection is nearly impossible to find, and Louie’s continually punished for trying. Indeed, Louie stumbles his way through one awkward situation after another–first attending another potluck at the wrong apartment held by a new age spiritual group, and later drifting through a series of uncomfortable encounters with the other parents when he finally arrives at the correct party. The one person with whom he forges a somewhat meaningful connection is a surrogate mother who ends up going into labor when they attempt to have sex.
“Potluck” touches upon all the ways we’re connected and disconnected (mostly the latter) from one another. Louie finds himself excluded or otherwise turned off by every attempt to bond, whether it’s over spirituality, parenting, or with another awkward loner who shares his appreciation for fried chicken. The two parties he attends are shot in the same way, and he finds himself equally alienated in both. The most striking example of this fundamental disconnect between people is Julianne (Celia Keenan-Bolger), the surrogate mother for Marina (Judy Gold), the overbearing and obnoxious host of the potluck. She’s introduced to the conversation but barely gets a word in edgewise, and it’s clear that she’s treated as more of a vessel for surrogacy than a human being. The juxtaposition of the quintessentially human act of giving life and her complete dehumanization and lack of emotional support is the episode’s strongest and most cynical answer to Louie’s attempts to be more social.
It wouldn’t be an episode of Louie if all these quotidian tragedies didn’t escalate to a horrifically uncomfortable comic extreme, and “Potluck” does not disappoint. After sharing an Uber ride home, Louie offers the emotionally distraught Julianne some much-needed compassion and support, and the brief bond they forge turns into some hasty sex in the hallway. Unfortunately, her water breaks almost immediately, and the episode ends at the hospital as she goes into labor. There’s a small, karmic silver lining here: the unexpected delivery completely ruins the elaborate birthing plan Marina had laid out. She delivers the episode’s best line as she berates Louie for ruining everything: “Do you know how hard we tried to have this baby in our way, and then you went and jizzed all over his face!?” Welcome back, Louie.
It’s still not real to me, this whole thing. It’s weird to think that I actually went to Axxess, attended the Hall of Fame ceremony, went to WrestleMania and got to see a RAW show live the next day.
This experience has left us exhausted but incredibly happy. I never thought I’d ever get to see a wrestling show, let alone WrestleMania.
In any case, I’m late with the show recap, so this will be a report/recap with photos.
Waking up WrestleMania Sunday doesn’t carry the same post-Saturday feeling one would usually have. As all wrestling fans know, WWE pay-per-views always fall on a Sunday, which sucks because you know that, tomorrow, you have to go back to your 9 to 5, so that’s always in the back of your mind, no matter what you do. For WrestleMania, it’s a bit different. It’s like a holiday. It’s like the Super Bowl. It’s like Opening Day for baseball. It’s you, sitting with your favorite food and drink and watching something you really like so that you have a bit of a nice feeling going into Monday.
That’s about the best way I can describe it.
We had done Axxess and The Hall of Fame, two things that I looked forward to and enjoyed. You’d think that I couldn’t be more excited for an event…but when I woke up the morning of WrestleMania, my brain was practically already getting our stadium bags ready before my body was doing it.
The first thing we did was park. Since I’m an employee of a certain networking company near Levi’s, we were able to park in the lot where I work each day…so, that was nice. The main issue is that it was about 85 degrees outside (the initial weather reports said it would be cool and cloudy) and even the closest work lot is about a mile from Levi’s, so we had a hike ahead of us.
When we got there, it was an absolute party. People outside, listening to music, eating food, buying merch, discussing the matches…really great.
At this point, we were about 2 hours from the pre-show and about 4 hours from the actual show. Our ticket package included a nice pre-game tailgate, so we had to go there first for some food…the problem was that we both mis-read the ticket and thought the party was in a lot next to the stadium.
As it turns out, our party was in “Green Lot 4”, which is located across the street and about another mile north of the stadium. It took talking with six different Levi’s Stadium attendants to find this out. You’d think these guys would know their own stadium. Ugh…so we walked with bags in our hands and found our way to Green Lot, which is located at Mission College near the Mercado entertainment plaza.
It was worth it.
Our party was hosted by former WWE wrestler, Matt Striker and catered by The Bad Boyz of BBQ.
They also had a DJ pumping music while we ate and drank, which was a plus. The whole affair was laid back. Striker was incredibly nice, made the rounds to make sure we were okay, and we had some laughs. I nearly won a signed photo of Hulk Hogan but lost on a technicality because I didn’t say “Pontiac” before “Silverdome” when I answered a WrestleMania III venue question. I was kinda bummed about that.
When I went back to our table to eat, Striker came over and laughed and shook my hand and said, “Man, you almost had it.” Prior to that, I couldn’t name all 9 inductees at the WWE Hall of Fame this year. I got 7 of them but forgot Alundra Blayze and Connor Michalek. I told Striker that I thought I had it twice and that it was like “wrestling the Undertaker because he just keeps kicking out.” Striker laughed and said, “Yes, wrestling The Undertaker might actually be easier.”
In any case, we had a lot of fun.
It was about 3 PM by the time we left. As we were trying to get to the stadium on-time, we elected to take a nearby “Pedi-Cab” which got us there in about a fraction of the time it would normally take by foot and that was a good thing because we heard Cesaro’s music booming from inside the stadium. We hurried to the front gates.
Let me tell you something: that new “NFL Clear Bag Rule” is an absolute joke. The whole point of this new rule was to make lines more efficient because gate attendants can see right through them and determine if a bag check is necessary.
It only makes the entire process slower. I’m not kidding. When Danielle got there before me, they looked at the bag, told her to remove her little WrestleMania rally towel, her water bottle, her sunscreen, her jacket, her camera, her batteries and nearly everything else. It took them 2 minutes to get through her, then another 2 because she kept setting off the metal detector despite the fact that she had no metal on her.
The same thing happened to me.
Oh, then our tickets wouldn’t scan. The Levi’s attendant looked at us like we were up to no good and handed us off to their manager. The manager said, “Usually, counterfeit tickets are the main issue and give us these kind of scanner errors…” We were horrified and couldn’t tell if the attendant said we were faking the tickets or if somebody else did. In any case, it so happened that the Levi’s scanners were the issue. They hadn’t been coded to accept “certain tickets”, as it was later explained to us.
Because of the bag check thing and the ticket issue, we missed both of the pre-show matches and got into the stadium as Aloe Blacc sang America, the Beautiful.
I might add that Levi’s comped us new seats…right next to the entrance ramp and only a few rows from the ring!
Oh…I forgot the recap portion…let’s get going on that!
Aloe Blacc sang a nice rendition of “America, the Beautiful”, followed by fireworks.
We get a WrestleMania lead-in, narrated by LL Cool J which, for a change, isn’t awful or pretentious and talks about how we all watch WrestleMania together since we’re all connected via the Internet.
We are LIVE(!!!) from Levi’s Stadium in Santa Clara, California for WrestleMania 31!!!
JBL, Michael Cole, and Jerry “The King” Lawler are your hosts…
(By the way…here were our seats…Danielle and I are circled and dotted:
We are off and running as ladders surround the ring…
MATCH #1: Daniel Bryan (challenger) vs. Bad News Barrett (champion) vs. Dolph Ziggler (challenger) vs. Stardust (challenger) vs. Luke Harper (challenger) vs. R-Truth (challenger) vs. Dean Ambrose (challenger) in a Ladder Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship Cole states that Truth has a “fear of heights”, alienating any fans Truth may have had left. Immediate brawling to begin and Harper and Bryan end up outside. Ambrose hits the Flying Psycho on Harper. Ziggler gets tossed out as well. Barrett, too. Truth flies at everyone outside. Stardust hits the Falling Star. Ziggler tries to dive at Harper, in ring, but Harper tosses him at everyone. Harper dives at everyone as well. Ambrose escapes the pile of bodies, climbs a ladder outside and dives at everyone, too. So, now that’s done, Truth is the only one free and in the ring. He sets up a ladder and climbs. Bryan gets in with Barrett and clocks him with a ladder. Then he tosses a ladder at him in the corner and adds Stardust to that pile. He dropkicks the hell out of everything he piled up. Harper gets in, nails Bryan, then sets up a ladder. Bryan pulls him down and hits YES Kicks. He climbs but Ziggler pulls him off.
Ziggler and Ambrose fight over the climb. Barrett interferes but he gets dumped. Truth and Stardust enter and Stardust knocks everyone off the ladder. The fans chant for “Cody” and this pisses Star off. He goes under the mat and pulls out his own ladder which is all friggin’ bedazzled. Barrett stops him and clocks him with a piece of broken ladder or something. Ambrose attacks Barrett and gets back in the ring. Ziggler and Harper stop him and Harper uses a ladder to beat up Ziggler. He sets a ladder up on the turnbuckle. Ambrose comes into the ring only to get tossed into it. Harper puts the ladder around his own neck and uses it to nail every single guy that comes into the ring. Truth finally stops him and hits his Truth finisher.
Barrett comes into the ring and attacks him. Star enters as well and sets up a ladder, climbing it. Barrett climbs the ladder and suplexes him from the top of the ladder. Ziggler and Bryan enter the ring and climb. They fight at the top. In comes Ambrose. He fights with both Bryan and Ziggler. Ziggler kicks him off and Ambrose does an incredibly lame “rebound” spot where he ends up pushing them off the ladder when the ropes kick him back. He climbs the ladder but Harper grabs him and POWERBOMBS HIM INTO A LADDER OUTSIDE THE ROPES…holy shit. Ziggler puts a Sleeper on Harper — but Harper climbs the ladder with Ziggler on him. Harper drops down and Ziggler is thrown off. Ziggler climbs but Barrett nails Ziggler with a Bullhammer. Stardust comes in and gets the same. Truth climbs the ladder but Barrett hits the Bullhammer as well. He climbs the ladder and gets to the belt — but here comes Bryan, climbing like a squirrel on speed and stops Barrett, knocking him off. Bryan nears the belt but Ziggler pulls him off. Barrett pushes the ladder away — but Bryan hits a Flying Knee out of nowhere. He sets up the ladder and climbs! Ziggler gets in and he climbs! The two trade shots back and forth on top of the ladder! They resort to headbutts and trade those over and over. Finally, Bryan knocks Ziggler off the ladder and pulls the belt off to win it! WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: Daniel Bryan at 13:49
RATING: ***. Not a bad start. COULD have been a bit longer with more danger spots, but what the hell, I’ll take it.
Post-match, Bryan celebrates.
PICTURES
The stadium popped BIG-TIME for Bryan here. Both before and after the match. Ziggler and Ambrose got similar pops. Great stuff.
We get an ad for TAPOUT gear, starring WWE superstars.
MATCH #2: Seth Rollins (w/ Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury) vs. Randy Orton There’s some quick initial running back and forth and Orton dropkicks the hell out of Rollins, who leaves the ring. Orton chases him back in and Rollins kicks and stomps at him. Orton comes back by tossing Rollins to the mat and chopping at him in the corner. He punches at Rollins’ head but Rollins counters with a Buckle Bomb. Orton counters that by running out of the corner and hitting a clothesline. He goes for an RKO but J&J involve themselves. Orton knocks them down, then walks outside and hits the Elevated DDT on both guys. Rollins flies at Orton from inside the ring, knocking him into the announce table. He pushes Orton back in and gets a two count. Rollins hits a quick suplex and gets two, then puts on a headlock. Orton escapes, but gets put in a corner. Rollins hits a running forearm, then tries again but Orton tosses him over the top rope. Rollins lands on his feet, then tries to Springboard at Orton. He misses. Orton hits clotheslines and tries a powerslam, hitting it on the second try. He tries the Elevated DDT, but Rollins counters and hits and Enzuguri. Orton falls out of the ring. Rollins hits a Springboard Moonsault on Orton, then tosses him back into the ring. Rollins goes top rope but Orton knocks him off and goes for a Superplex. Rollins blocks it, so Orton hits a big backdrop. Orton hits a Flying Crossbody but Rollins reverses the pinfall, getting two. Rollins runs at Orton but Orton grabs him and hits the Elevated DDT. He goes for an RKO but Rollins counters. A series of counters later and Orton hits an RKOOUTOFNOWHERE, but only gets two. Orton sets up for The Punt but Noble runs in to save Rollins — then eats an RKO. Mercury gets one, too, after he leaps off the ropes. Rollins kicks Orton and hits a Curb Stomp and NEARLY gets a fall. Rollins goes to rope and tries a Flipping Splash. Orton moves. Rollins lands on his feet, then kicks Orton in the stomach to set up for another Curb Stomp. He does it, but Orton’s head won’t hit the pavement…instead, Rollins flies high into the air AND ORTON CATCHES HIM WITH AN RKO ON THE WAY DOWN! Orton wins! WINNER: Randy Orton via RKO at 13:15
RATING: ****. Fantastic match between two of WWE’s most reliable performers and a great ending. This match had Levi’s on the edge of their seats. It was, at this point, where Danielle said to me, “See? Now he’s gonna cash in later. They had him lose here so he’ll win during the main event.”
PICTURES
UFC’s Ronda Rousey is at ringside tonight. She was diagonally to our right.
We get the build-up for Sting and Triple H.
Sting gets a weird Japanese Kabuki Samurai drum entrance whereas Triple H gets Arnold Schwarzenegger narrating his entrance and, oh look: Triple H is a Terminator who kills other Terminators. And the crowd pops for Triple H. Oh boy. (At this point, I didn’t have a good feeling about this. Especially since Bryan and Orton had already won their matches…)
MATCH #3: Sting vs. Triple H Cole: “And WrestleMania is brought to you by Terminator: Genesys!” NO SHIT, COLE. Oh, and the match is “No-DQ” all of the sudden. Triple H and Sting circle each other to start. Triple H gets shoulder tackled by Sting, then he pounds his chest and yells “WOO!” at the crowd. HHH comes back with a snap mare and side headlock, then hits a shouldertackle and does the Crotch Chop. Sting immediately hits high dropkicks and Triple H takes a seat in the corner, then bails from the ring. Another lock-up and Triple H hits punches. He tries an Irish Whip but Sting reverses and tosses Triple H out of the ring. Sting goes for the Scorpion Deathlock but Triple H kicks out and goes outside. Sting chases and tries a Stinger Splash but Triple H moves out of the way. Back in the ring, Triple H hits a delayed vertical suplex, followed by a knee drop for two. Triple H tosses Sting into the corner hard and Sting goes down. Triple H does another Crotch Taunt and drops another knee for two. Triple H puts on a head lock. Sting breaks but flies into a Spinebuster for two. Sting comes back with some corner punches and tosses Triple H into the corner. He goes for a splash but Triple H kicks him. Triple H tries to go for a kick off the ropes but Sting catches his legs and puts on the Scorpion Deathlock…
…and here comes Degeneration X in the form of Road Dogg, Billy Gunn and X-Pac. Sting fights them all off, then turns to Triple H. Sting dumps Triple H on top of all of them, then goes off the top rope and splashes all four guys. Crowd chants, “THIS IS AWESOME”. Sting gets back up and into the ring. Gunn attacks him and Sting knocks him off. Triple H hits the Pedigree and NEARLY gets a pin. Frustrated, Triple H goes under the ring to get the sledge…and the nWo shows up in the form of Hulk Hogan, Kevin Nash, and Scott Hall and they take, like, eight days to get there. D-X runs at them to attack but the nWo knocks them all down. Sting grabs Triple H and hits the pin for…TWO?! Are you fucking kidding me? Wow. (DANIELLE: This match should be over.) Sting hits the Scorpion Deathlock but can’t even sit down on it. Triple H crawls and reaches for the sledge…but Hogan grabs it and pulls it away. X-Pac attacks Hogan. Nash attacks X-Pac. Gunn takes out Nash. Hall goes for the Outsider Edge on Road Dogg but Dogg counters it and tosses Hall to the ground. Meanwhile, Triple H gets to the ropes as the crowd chants “TAP” over and over. Sting goes for the Deathlock again. Shawn Michaels appears out of nowhere and hits Sweet Chin Music on Sting. Ugh. Triple H covers…and gets two. Michaels is pissed. D-X hands Triple H the sledge. He backs Sting into a corner…but Hall gets Sting’s baseball bat and hands it to Sting. The two men brandish their weapons and circle each other. Triple H attacks but Sting hits him in the stomach, then uses the bat to chop the sledge handle in half…just…wow. Sting drops the bat and punches Triple H in the corner, then hits the Stinger Splash. He tries again — but, Triple H picks up part of the sledge and nails Sting with it — and then pins Sting to win it. Jesus fucking christ… WINNER: Triple H at 18:34
RATING: ***1/2…if you’re going for spectacle, but the booking was absolute bullshit. Sting should have gone over. I give it *3/4. I’m sorry. D-X and nWo? I’m not impressed. I’ve seen the nWo AND D-X (the Outlaws) on RAW. And wasn’t X-Pac part of the nWo back in January? Wasn’t Hogan predominantly red and yellow for the better part of the last few years? And wasn’t the nWo (black and white, not Wolfpac) enemies with Sting? This whole thing was just a giant Triple H stroke-fest. And, if it’s no-DQ, why can’t the nWo run in to save their “best buddy”, Sting, from getting pinned? Just complete hot bullshit.
Post-match, D-X pulls Triple H off of Triple H and the nWo helps Sting up. Triple H approaches Sting…and offers his hand. They shake? Oh, PUH-LEEZE. Wow. None of this makes any sense.
PICTURES
Maria Menounos is backstage with the new IC Champ, Daniel Bryan. He says it’s incredible to be champ. Pat Patterson shows up and congratulates him. Then Rowdy Roddy Piper. He looks menacing, then kisses Bryan on the head and congratulates him. Steamboat shows up and actually says, “That match ranks right up with the one Randy Savage and I had!” No, Steamboat…it wasn’t. Steamboat says, if Savage were here, “he’d say…WHOA YEAH!” No…no, Steamboat…he wouldn’t say “‘Whoa’, yeah.” Then, Ric Flair shows up because, apparently, Daniel Bryan needs help from a bunch of ancient superstars to get over. Flair shows up and does the “WOOOO” thing. He chops Steamboat lightly, then yells “WOO” at Maria. Oh, look. Bret Hart’s here, too, because WWE has to overbook everything right now. Everyone starts yelling “YES”…and, of course, we get a WrestleMania “DAMN” from Ron Simmons. Everyone continues yelling “YES” and, mercifully, we walk away from whatever the hell that was.
Skylar Grey, Travis Barker and Kid Ink perform that one song we’ve been hearing for two months during every single WrestleMania commercial. (And half our crowd section hit the bathrooms/concession stands.)
MATCH #4: Paige & AJ Lee vs. The Bella Twins (WWE Divas Champion Nikki Bella & Brie Bella) Nikki and Paige start off with Paige immediately tackling Nikki and punching her. Nikki reverses it and punches. Nikki headbutts AJ, then hits an Alabama Slam on Paige, getting two. She slams Paige’s head against the mat, then puts Paige in the corner, tagging Brie who hits a beautiful missile dropkick for two. Brie pounds on the back of Paige’s head, then puts her into a Chinlock/Surfboard combo. Brie goes for the running knee. AJ gets up on the mat — so, naturally, Brie knocks her off the ring mat again. She hits the knee on Paige and tags Nikki. They hit a double suplex. Nikki tosses Paige into the ropes but Paige reverses — and knocks AJ off the damn mat for the third time. Nikki hits the Rack Attack, but only gets two. Nikki puts Nikki in the corner again — and Paige elbows Brie off the mat on the way there. Paige elbows Nikki and Nikki runs at Paige. Paige dumps Nikki out of the ring and then dives at both women. Paige gets back into the ring and, FINALLY, AJ is up on the mat. Paige makes the hot tag. AJ hits a press on Nikki and punches at her, then hits a clothesline. Nikki puts AJ in the corner and lunges but AJ kicks her and goes for a Tornado DDT. Nikki counters it. AJ gets back on the top buckle and hits a Crossbody. Nikki catches her. Paige dropkicks AJ on top of Nikki. Brie saves the pin and both Paige and Brie roll out of the ring. AJ locks in the Black Widow but Brie kicks AJ. Paige hits a nice high kick on Brie. AJ goes for a roundhouse but Brie grabs AJ’s leg and Nikki just hits a vicious forearm. AJ kicks out of the pin as Brie and Paige fight outside. Paige tosses Brie into the steel steps and AJ hits the Black Widow on Nikki to get the win. WINNERS: Paige and AJ at 6:36.
RATING: **3/4. Not terrible but fairly pedestrian — and what was with AJ taking a nap for over half the match?
PICTURES
We get an ad for WWE “heroes”.
We get a “Tale of the Tape” for Brock Lesnar and Roman Reigns. Cole pretends Google and the Internet don’t exist and tells us that they got this information when they “put stats into a computer” and says “the computer gave us this”.
Cole gives us a look back on this year’s Hall of Famers.
Then we get introduced to them.
PICTURES
We get the build-up between Rusev and Cena…
Rusev enters with a full Russian colorguard and rides on top of a tank. Your argument is invalid. Cena’s answer is a video package with a bunch of shit America’s done. Each time a President pops up, they got either a huge pop (Reagan, for some reason) or big time heat (Obama, for some reason). Bush got nothing (for some reason).
MATCH #5: Rusev (champion) (w/ Lana) vs. John Cena (challenger) for the WWE United States Championship They cheer “U.S.A.”, but they boo Rusev. They boo the whole Russian gimmick, but cheer for Rusev. I just don’t know anymore. Cena knocks Rusev down with a clothesline. Rusev comes back with a high spinning kick and gets two. Rusev hits a headbutt and an Arm Hook Suplex for two. Cena tries a back drop but Rusev kicks him, then tosses him into a corner and splashes him. He hits a nice Rolling Kick and gets two. Rusev picks up the Russian flag and celebrates for absolutely no reason whatsoever as Cena just lays there. Rusev does the “U CAN’T SEE ME” taunt to Cena so Cena kicks him and hits Moves 1 through 3. He goes for the 5KS and hits that. He goes for the AA but Rusev falls off Cena and lands on his feet, then counters with a side suplex. Rusev goes for a high kick but Cena ducks and goes for the STF. Rusev kicks out. Cena flies at Rusev who catches him and hits a Spinebuster. Two count. He puts Cena on the turnbuckle and goes for a Superplex. Cena blocks it and headbutts Rusev, knocking him to the mat. Cena hits a Flying Legdrop and gets a close fall.
Cena goes for another AA but Rusev kicks out and hits the Flying Superkick. Rusev misses the Accolade set-up, but manages to hit a low kick to Cena’s head, getting two. He tosses Cena into the corner and misses a kick. Cena hits a Tornado DDT. Cena gets to his feet and so does Rusev. The two exchange blows with the crowd clearly behind Rusev. Rusev yells “YOU CAN’T BEAT ME, JOHN CENA!” into Cena’s face, then hits an Alabama Slam following a Tiger Knee to Cena’s head. Two count. He sets up for the Accolade but Cena counters and locks in the STF. Lana takes off one of her heels and throws it at Cena (The crowd laughed at this) so the ref warns Lana to knock it off. Rusev breaks and hits a Fallaway Slam. Rusev goes to the top rope and hits a Flying Headbutt!
Two count and Rusev cannot believe that. Rusev sets up the Accolade…but Cena struggles and counters it, kicking out. Cena runs to the ropes and hits a Springboard Stunner! Holy shit. Two count. Cena gets up and goes for an AA. Rusev breaks it and catches Cena. He tries a Spinebuster but Cena counters and rolls Rusev up for two. Rusev gets up and slams Cena to the mat and finally locks in the Accolade and Cole says, “Nobody’s ever broke The Accolade!” You know, except for Cena and Swagger who both broke it. Cena gets to his feet and backs Rusev into the corner, then locks in the STF. Rusev gets to the ropes but Cena gets up and drags Rusev to the center of the ring. Lana gets up on the mat so Cena walks over to her. Rusev runs at Cena but Lana takes the bump and eats an AA. Cena win the U.S. Title as Rusev fails America and her fans. WINNER: John Cena via AA at 14:31
RATING: ***. Nice match but, honestly, I don’t know why Cena had to win here.
PICTURES
WrestleMania 32 is coming to AT&T Stadium in Dallas, Texas next year!
Renee Young, Booker T, Corey Graves and Byron Saxton are at the talking desk. We recap the Fatal Four-Way Tag Match where Cesaro and Tyson retained the titles. They also recap that Big Show won the Battle Royal.
Steph and Triple H are in the ring. She tells us that Levi’s has 76,000-plus people. She tells us that, back in the day, WrestleMania was on closed-circuit TV and she got to watch Andre slam Big John Studd. (DANIELLE: And she used Cole’s IBM tape computer to spit out stats.) She says that the success of WrestleMania is all because of HER. Triple H says the truth hurts. He brags about beating Sting (which draws massive heat) and says that he pretty much beat everyone against him, including the 76,000 people in Levi’s and the millions on WWE Network. Then he says he owns Sting as well as all the talent backstage. So much for that handshake, huh? He says The Authority always wins…
The Rock’s music hits. This got the biggest pop of the night. He takes forever to talk because the fans are not going quiet. Steph: “Okay! We get it! You’re happy to see him! Can you be quiet now?” The Rock says that The Authority doesn’t own the fans…or The Rock. He says The Authority likes to run their mouths. But what they don’t get is that The Rock is an East Bay Area Boy. So, The Rock says Triple H has two choices: 1) Triple H goes backstage and dresses up as The Terminator again…or 2) They can have a “WrestleMania Moment” right here, right now. The Rock and Triple H go nose to nose.
Triple H says that him and The Rock have a great rivalry that goes back years — and Triple H kicked his ass for most of it. He says he has nothing more to prove. The Rock says, just like he left his heart in San Francisco, that Triple H left his balls in Stamford, Connecticut. Triple H isn’t happy and takes off his coat. Steph steps between them and says The Rock just likes to rile him and the fans up. He says that there would be no Rock without the fans. She says that even his relatives wouldn’t be anything without the McMahons. The Rock says that Steph likes to talk about the Johnsons and McMahons…but that she wouldn’t be here without Vince’s “johnson”. She slaps his face all the way into next week and asks what he’s gonna do about that. She says that these are her fans, her ring, and her stadium and orders him to leave.
Rock leaves with Steph riding his ass on the mic as he does. The Rock stops just outside the ring…then walks to his left…and visits with Ronda Rousey. He invites her to jump the barrier and get into the ring with him. She obliges. The Rock tells Steph that he’d never hit a woman…but he has a good friend who’d be happy to. Steph shrugs it off and says that her and Steph are friends. She begs Ronda to tell Rock that they’re friends. Ronda doesn’t respond. Steph says that Ronda’s probably the most dangerous unarmed woman on the planet. She says that Ronda doesn’t realize that this is her ring and that she needs to enjoy WrestleMania like a good little fan. Ronda says that Steph doesn’t get it: any ring she steps into is hers. She says if Steph wants her to leave, Steph should make her leave. Steph growls for her to get out of the ring. Rock looks at Rousey and tells Steph that the look on Rousey’s face means that she’s about to reach down Steph’s throat, pull out her uterus and play jump rope with her fallopian tubes.
Triple H says he’s tired of all this shit and wants Rock to stop talking. Rock agrees to do so and says this is the last thing they’ll hear from him. He attacks Triple H and beats on him in the corner. Triple H lunges at Rousey but Rousey hits a hip toss and out of the ring goes Triple H. Steph attacks her but Rousey locks Steph’s arm. Finally, she lets Steph go and this comes to an end. Rock tells the McMahons that they’re “owned”.
PICTURES
We go to Undertaker and Bray Wyatt…Undertaker has his usual entrance, but Bray’s entrance is a mix of theatrical and goofy. He has a “valley” of scarecrows on the entrance ramp that he “brings to life” and they follow him down the ramp. The electric signage around the stadium, during The Undertaker’s entrance read, “NEVER SUMMON THE DEAD”, which I thought was pretty sweet. The Undertaker also grew his hair back. It’s still short but it’s not a mohawk anymore. The entire entrance is gold for so many reasons. JBL, Cole and King wonder if The Undertaker is the same guy we used to see — yet, he still looks that way. Bray just stares the entire time, in awe.
Bray says this is “his yard”, then runs at ‘Taker, who boots him right in the face.
MATCH #6: Bray Wyatt vs. The Undertaker The bell rings and ‘Taker is all over Bray in the corner. He beats on him, knocks him to the mat, then does Old School. ‘Taker goes off the ropes but Bray knocks him down with a clothesline. Bray clotheslines him out of the ring — but The Undertaker lands on his feet and glares at Bray. Crowd loves it. Bray grabs him by the legs and drags him outside. He sets Bray up on the mat and drops the leg across Bray’s throat. Bray rolls into the ring and ‘Taker clotheslines him, then hits Snake Eyes. ‘Taker goes for a big boot but Bray knocks ‘Taker down with a drive-by lariat. Wyatt beats on ‘Taker in the corner and then puts him into the adjacent corner. Bray hits a running corner clothesline and can’t get two. He puts a clutch on ‘Taker but ‘Taker fights out. Bray drops punches on ‘Taker. Bray stares at him as he struggles to get up. He crawls to Bray. Bray leaves the ring, then smashes ‘Taker’s head into the ringpost. Wyatt gets into the ring and boots ‘Taker in the face. He goes to pick up ‘Taker but ‘Taker locks in Hell’s Gate. Wyatt quickly realizes he’s in trouble and punches ‘Taker in the head until he lets go. ‘Taker gets to his feet and lunges at Bray only to find himself in a Spinebuster, followed by the Reverse Senton. Bray does the Hanging Spider, then goes for Sister Abigail. Bray does the “thumb across the throat”, but ‘Taker grabs him by the throat and hits the Chokeslam. ‘Taker calls for The Tombstone and hits it…but only gets two as the announce team pretends like nobody’s ever kicked out of it. ‘Taker calls for another Tombstone but Bray counters and hits Sister Abigail! Bray covers — and gets two. Bray gets up, doing the Spider Walk, walking over to ‘Taker, who is still on his back. When he gets close, The Undertaker sits up and glares at Bray in one of the coolest moments of the night. Bray just melts out of the Spider Walk. The both get up and start trading shots. Bray gets the best of it and knocks ‘Taker all the way down. Bray goes for Sister Abigail again — but ‘Taker breaks it and shoves Bray. Bray runs at ‘Taker and ‘Taker picks him and Tombstones the hell out of him for the win. WINNER: The Undertaker via Tombstone at 15:13
RATING: **3/4. This had some great moments…I really don’t know, however, how long ‘Taker can continue to do this.
Post-match, ‘Taker does the “tribute” spot with the purple lighting and fireworks.
PICTURES
We get the build-up to Reigns/Lesnar…
MATCH #7: Roman Reigns (challenger) vs. Brock Lesnar (champion) (w/ Paul Heyman) for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship The bell rings and it’s a goddamn brawl to start. Both men all over each other. Lesnar hits a German Suplex and an F5…but doesn’t cover Reigns. Lesnar is cut open. He walks over to Reigns and his some shots to the gut with his knee. Lesnar hits a Fallway Fisherman’s Suplex. Lesnar goes for another German. Reigns fights back and tries clotheslines but can’t knock Reigns down. Lesnar counters with German #2. Reigns gets to his knees…and smiles. Lesnar hits a Side Suplex, then yells, “SUPLEX CITY, BITCH!” Reigns comes back with punches but Lesnar hits German #3. Reigns gets up, grinning. Lesnar kicks him in the ribs, then hits German #4. Reigns tries to get up but Lesnar just knees him in the stomach. Brock drops Roman on the top rope and knees Reigns in the face repeatedly. Lesnar hits a running forearm on a run and knocks Reigns out of the ring.
Lesnar beckons Reigns to get back in the ring and Reigns does. Lesnar runs at him and Reigns knees Lesnar in the face. He hits kicks to the face. But Lesnar just grabs his leg after a few of them and clotheslines Reigns from the ring. Lesnar goes outside and beats on Reigns. He rolls Reigns back in and then hits a suplex throw. Reigns is tossed from the ring and crawls back in again. Lesnar hits a belly to belly suplex, the 8th one overall. Lesnar hits F5 #2. Reigns kicks out. Lesnar smacks the shit out of Reigns but Reigns doesn’t care. He just laughs. Lesnar hits German #4 and #5. He hits F5 #3…but only gets two again. Lesnar tosses Reigns out of the ring. He goes outside and picks up Reigns and tries to toss Reigns into the ringpost but Reigns reverses the attempt and Lesnar eats the post instead.
Lesnar is bleeding as Reigns gets back into the ring. Reigns looks determined and gets to his feet. He hits a Superman Punch but Lesnar hangs onto the ropes. Reigns hits another and Lesnar is rocking on the ropes. Reigns goes for another. Lesnar catches him for a German but Reigns elbows out. Reigns hits Superman Punch #3 and knocks him down. He hits a Spear! Lesnar gets up and rocks towards the ropes. Reigns hits another and NEARLY gets the fall. Reigns goes for another — but Lesnar catches him and hits F5 #4! Lesnar can’t cover…both men are down. Seth Rollins’ music hits. (DANIELLE: Told ya’!) He cashes in the MITB contract. This is now a Triple Threat Match. O…K.
MATCH #7: Roman Reigns (challenger) vs. Brock Lesnar (champion) (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Seth Rollins (challenger) in a Triple Threat Match for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship Rollins boots Reigns from the ring and hits a quick Curb Stomp on Lesnar. He checks on Reigns to make sure he can’t interfere…and goes for another Curb Stomp…but Lesnar catches him for an F5! But here comes Reigns who Spears Lesnar! Reigns tries to get up but Rollins hits a Curb Stomp and wins the title.
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: Seth Rollins via Curb Stomp at 16:44
RATING: ***1/2. Not a bad finish to the thing. I’d hesitate to call it “ingenious” since they all but telegraphed the cash-in. Nobody liked Reigns and nobody wanted to see Lesnar go home with the title. The only reason WrestleMania ended on a “high note” was because Rollins was the lesser of three evils. Yay?
Rollins celebrates as Levi’s Stadium shoots its fireworks load and we go off the air.
PICTURES
OVERALL: ***1/2. Better than I expected but nowhere near as good as last year’s ‘Mania. I don’t understand the high praise this show is getting. For the live experience? Add another two stars. There’s nothing like being there.
Community Season 6, Episode 5 – Laws of Robotics and Party Rights Air Date: April 7, 2015 Grade: B
As usual, our gang is convened around the study room table at the request of Frankie. While they wait for her to show up, Britta rejoices at the end of midterms and wants to throw a party in her new apartment. Annie chimes in saying that a party in their apartment is limited to 8 additional guests, anything going over that is considered a rager, which is explicitly prohibited, especially because Britta is the newest roommates, and is just a ‘coucher’.
Following Annie’s strong rejection of a rager, an iPad attached to a Segway rolls into the study with Frankie’s face displayed. She explains that Colorado is piloting a program where convicts use telepresence platforms to attend college. Despite Chang’s initial warning of, “they’ll rape us, they’ll rape us all” the committee decides to green light the program, not out of any sort of altruistic motivation, but the fact that this means Greendale will get $300,000. That, and with Jeff’s affirmation, the Dean’s weakness to anything Jeff says, a group of convicts sets foot wheel onto campus.
After the Dean’s threat to adjust the contrast on the iPads to prevent any race gangs from forming, the convicts each roll off through the halls of Greendale. Jeff’s Fundamentals of Law class gets saddled with a charismatic convicted murderer named Willy. It’s obvious from the repartee between the two that the main difference between Jeff and Willy is an orange jumpsuit, oh, and Willy actually killed a man. An uneasy chill falls between the two men as Willy challenges Jeff’s dominance in the classroom, a chill that is eased by what has to be the twentieth watching of Planet Earth by Jeff’s class.
While all that is going on, Britta continually is thinking about throwing her party, so using Britta logic, because Abed has technically has been the longest tenant of the apartment, he supersedes Annie on created the apartment rules. Of course, Abed has no desire to throw a party or override Annie, so Britta preys on Abed logic by convincing him to instead shoot a film exploring parties, to which Annie gently whispers in Britta’s ear, “before this is over, you’ll beg for my forgiveness”. Crazy Annie, is the best Annie.
As Jeff leaves Greendale to go to his car in the Greendale Parking Garage (why have there not been more scenes in the Greendale Parking Garage), we see what would’ve been a threatening atmosphere with a hardened criminal become incredibly laughable as we see Willy attempt to throw Jeff down the stair by repeatedly bumping him with this iPad/Segway combo. Even his attempt at retreating into the shadows fails as he gets stuck on litter. Of course, following this little attempted murder attempt, Jeff goes to see the Dean, only to find that Willy has preempted him and complained to the Dean about the Planet Earth marathon that is Fundamentals of Law. Threaten his life, fine, but Jeff will not take potshots against his nonchalant lifestyle that he’s carefully built.
As Jeff heads back to class, he sees Willy taking control of the students who used to hang on his every word, and tries to reclaim his spot at the head of the class, but Willy breaks down his carefully constructed adult life, using his prison charisma and rep as a felon to usurp Jeff. Jeff’s ego is his reason for existence, you wound that, and you wound the beast. Jeff retreats to Britta’s Party/Abed’s film, and starts to unload, only to find that Frankie and the Dean have brought the convicts out of the school and into the party, to celebrate the funding of Greendale. As Willy breezes in and takes over the party, Jeff leaves, ego beaten and battered. Of course, Abed’s devotion to cinema has him filming way past Britta’s bed time, so her clever ruse to throw a rager backfires in her face. Gee, who would’ve guessed. Things finally come to a head when Britta begs Annie to intervene, which she does, and Britta screws things up with Abed, bringing that boring plotline to a close.
With Jeff on the outs with the school, Willy shows up to gloat and twist the knife, keeping on taunting Jeff, and this takes him to the brink, and “murders” Willy’s iPad/Segway in front of the Dean, who sends Jeff away from Greendale on a two-week paid sabbatical, PAID DAMMIT!! Willy has obviously usurped Jeff’s position as the Dean’s object of affection with his bad boy image. When Jeff finds out that Willy is going to be named a Professor Emeritus, he decides to crash the ceremony using Elroy, an iPad, a broom, and a remote-controlled car to roll in. Jeff interrupts the ceremony/faux wedding to profess true and genuine friendship for the Dean and actually caring about Greendale. Willy is about to fight back, but is exposed as an innocent man, which sets the scene for battling iPads, with the Dean carrying telepresence Jeff out into the sunset.
Last week’s episode was definitely the highlight of season six so far. Does this week’s episode continue on the upward trend? Well, no, not exactly. This is where the whole paradigm of the sixth season starts to bother me again. Yes, some of the plots in Community are ridiculous and amazing, but that’s not why we come back to the show. We come back because we love the characters, which I think is the strength of any show. The strongest episodes of Community are when the characters show growth and development. So far, most of season six is just a series of ridiculous plots that rely on the character stereotypes to play into it.
Something epic happened on this week’s episode of Dancing With the Stars. Something that will forever make me giggle, and make me see my host-crush Tom Bergeron in a whole new light. Cranky judge Len Goodman called Tom Bergeron “sunshine.” It was amazing. It was hilarious. It was the oddest thing ever.
Other than Bergeron’s new nickname, this show had other qualities of epic as well. It was Week 4, and it was one of the episodes everyone looks forward to, fans and crew and cast alike. Each star chooses “the most memorable year of their life”, chooses a song that represents it, and dances to it. Every year, this episode is filled with incredible moments of inspiration, emotional rawness, and endless sobbing. The show aired Monday night. I am writing this on Wednesday. I am still crying. Almost every single dance and STORY brought me to tears. Don’t worry . There is , as always, some moments of comedy too. Why wait any longer? Here we go, Sunshine….
Nastia / Derek: The year was 2008, and Nastia represented the United States as a gymnast in the Beijing Olympics. She took home the Gold Medal. Their dance was the Argentine Tango to the song “Dark Eyes”, which was the same song she performed her routine to in Beijing. She dedicated the song to her parents, who helped and supported her dreams always, and who were in the audience watching, just to make damn sure that I was sobbing my face off by verse two of this song. What a gorgeous dance. WOW. Literally 20 seconds in, and I was a sobbing mess. Perfection. Beauty. Gorgeous lines and lifts. So, of course, grumpy Len found issue with it somehow, and didn’t see it as a true tango. Bergeron asked him: “So, there was something missing in that dance for you?” To which Len replied condescendingly: “Yes, there was, Sunshine.” “Okay then”, said Tom. The other judges loved it, calling it stunning and exhilarating. Scores were 9/8/9/10, and Len pooped his Depends.
Michael / Peta: His story is touching and moving and inspiring. When Michael was a child, he grew up in a bad environment, and his brother was killed by gunshots at a young age. Their dad left them and abandoned them soon after. When Micheal went to college, he made the decision to give his dad a second chance, and things were okay for a while between them. Then, in 2014, Michael came out as a gay man and the first openly gay player in the NFL. It cost him his relationship with his father, who told the NY Times that he was ashamed of his son and wanted nothing to do with him. They havent spoken since. His dance was to the song “I’m Not My Father’s Son”, and it was a gorgeous emotional Rumba. So beautifully done. After the dance, he cried onto Peta’s shoulders, and I cried into my popcorn bowl. Julianne called him “so trusting and vulnerable and beautiful.” Bruno said “it takes enormous guts to stand up for what you believe in, best dance you’ve done yet.” Carrie Ann said “you danced your soul for us.” Scores were 7/7/8/8, but they should have ALL been eights.
Riker / Allison: Okay, this is where I normally take my bathroom break, but since I have to write reviews, I sort of need to pay attention and watch everyone. This kid just bores me. Zzzzzzzz …. his story was kind of dull too, especially compared to all the hardships everyone else has through, the life-changing years and such. 2014 was the year he chose, because it was when his singing career really took off. Before that, he was “struggling” for SEVEN WHOLE YEARS!!!! OH THE TRAVESTY!!! That made me laugh. I’m 43 years old and have been “struggling” to make it somewhere in this business since I was 18 and moved to NYC to “be something!” Yeah. Seven years. You’re an infant. Take a number. They danced a Tango with a checkered backdrop that made me incredibly dizzy to look at. Len said it was “a tad on the hectic side, like my bladder.” Scores were 8/8/9/9, and I’ve still never heard one of this kid’s songs.
Robert / Kym: The year was 2006, and Robert’s mom died from complications of ovarian cancer. It was found at stage 4, and at the time, Robert thought he could deal with the issue by throwing his money at it – getting her the best of every treatment out there. He soon learned that “cancer doesn’t care.” Robert cried as he told Kym how much his mother loved watching this show. He got emotional talking about how much he misses her, and dammit, this game-show-host looking cheesy dude made me cry!!! Beautiful dance. It felt like he was pulling his mom forward to him for one last Waltz. Scores were 8/9/8/9.
Farmer Dull / Witney: In the year 2014, Chris was asked to be The Bachelor, and he met his now fiance, Whitney. (not to be confused with Witney) The Rumba dance was very pretty, but the expression on his face is always so BLAH. He has cardboard face. There is just nothing going on . Len said plainly: “That wasn’t that great.” Then he kicked a small child underneath the judges table. Scores were 7/6/7/7, and Len took 2 spoonfuls of his cranky-be-gone medicine.
Patti / Artem: She chose 1973, the year that her son was born, and changed her life forever. He was in the audience watching, of course, and she danced to “Dance With Me”, a song she herself recorded just months after her son’s birth. It was in the style of Jazz, and these two really jazzed it up bigtime. She had all kinds of great moves in this dance, and her legs were moving all about. The dance had a strong New Orleans feel, and was a total blast. Bruno stood up and screamed like a maniac “Go, girl!” and other words that nobody could make out as human. Horny Carrie Ann yelled desperately “Honey you HOT!!!!” Len said something about cappuccino and dancing, and … well …. it’s past your bedtime, Len. Get to bed. Scores were 8/7/7/8.
Rumer / Val: The year she chose was 2014. What led up to it is a really beautiful story. Rumer talked about how it can be difficult growing up with such huge stars as parents, and how nasty some people were to her during her most awkward teen and young kid years, comparing her to her mom Demi Moore’s beauty and saying she looked so “manly” and looked more like her dad than her mom She was bullied online a lot, and never felt good about herself. In 2014, Rumer’s sister Talulah checked herself into rehab, and the way she just owned that and coped with it unapologetically, really inspired Rumer. Their Waltz was dedicated to her sister, and to anyone who never felt beautiful or was bullied. The second I heard that damn Adele song, I was a goner and the tears were coming. The dance was breathtaking. Horny Carrie Ann said something about how Rumer’s dancing affects HER body (gross). Len once again questioned whether or not it was actually a waltz or not. Hey there, Grumpypants, I don’t think you’re supposed to EAT the Ben-Gay. Chill out. When Len got booed, he yelled “Hey I have to be nasty. Nobody remembers me when I’m nice.” To which Bergeron brilliantly replied: “Yes, well, believe it or not Len, it’s not ALL about you!” Scores were 9/8/9/9.
Suzanne / Tony: In 1977, Suzanne Somers had made the decision, after years of struggling, to quit acting. But her agent told her to just go on this one last audition. A few days later, she got the phone call saying that she landed the role of Chrissy Snow on what would become the number one sitcom on TV “Threes Company.” Her waltz was dedicated to the late John Ritter, who played Jack Tripper on the show, and they danced on a recreated version of the sitcom’s set – with Suzanne dressed in her finest Chrissy outfit and pigtails. Tony and Suzanne had a short dialogue exchange at the top of the dance that was pulled directly from the pilot episode . Suzanne called this dance “the dance Chrissy and Jack never got to dance, and the goodbye I never got to have with John.” This was so sweet, and she danced it with elegance and grace. Judges loved it and praised her, and then they all gave her 7’s. Tony thought that should have been a higher number, and I agree with him.
Willow / Mark: The year was 2011, and her life changed forever. She got that phone call saying she just landed the role in “The Hunger Games” series. She was 10 years old. Her contemporary dance was an epic sword fight in the Hunger Games theme, and it was dedicated to her fans. Definitely the strongest dance of the night, with sharp and crisp moves. Bruno said it was a “triumph for my little warrior!” Yes, but enough about your penis, Bruno. Horny Carrie Ann chimed in that she is “blown away by you”. I’m sure she has been blowin’ something away! Their scores were highest of the night, and included that magic double-digit that makes people jump up and down. 10/9/10/10. When Erin Andrews announced that this couple was one of the ones “in jeopardy” of going home, Carrie Ann revealed her perfect 10 score by shouting “Jeopardy Shmeopardy!” As a reaction to the three 10’s, Willow screamed and was very excited. It was cool.
Noah / Sharna: Oh, how I love this man. It was 2005, and he was on his second deployment in Iraq, when a roadside bomb hit his Humvee. A couple of days later, he woke up in the Vet hospital, with his left leg and left arm missing, on Christmas morning. “I buried all the pain at first”, he said. “I would sit alone and just drink. I tried to cope by myself , until one day I decided I HAD to make a change if I wanted any kind of life.” The song and dance was meant to show the journey from the man he was to the man he then became. It was a contemporary piece, and it was so brilliant. Every time he lifts her with one arm and she stays still and he holds her there, I am in awe. The strength. Bruno; “Your spirit soars unbroken. You want a superhero? There it is.”Len said no guts, no glory, then asked the audience to please stand up and applaud this man, who is a huge inspiration. Scores were 8/8/8/8, and I really thought he should have had nines.
GOING HOME: Well, the bottom two were Riker / Allison and Michael / Peta. I really, really, really wanted Riker to go home with his dumb haircut and silly pop band that “struggled” for SEVEN WHOLE YEARS!!!! But that isn’t what happened. Nope. Michael , who did such a gorgeous dance and opened up his soul to us, got voted off instead. Heartbreaking. I really liked him.
Next Week: Len Goodman and Tom Bergeron star in a new buddy-dance show called “Grumpy and Sunshine’, coming to a TV near you.
Mayhem and makeovers ensue in the third season trailer for acclaimed Netflix dramedy “Orange is the New Black,” released Thursday.
Fan favorites Crazy Eyes (Uzo Aduba), Taystee (Danielle Brooks), Sophia (Laverne Cox) and Red (Kate Mulgrew), among others, haven’t ditched their prison garb, but Nicky (Natasha Lyonne) is spotted briefly in what appears to be civilian gear, and we also hear returning inmate Alex (Laura Prepon) bemoaning her short-lived freedom.
New faces joining the cast include Lori Petty, bumped from season two guest star to ensemble player, and Ruby Rose as Stella, a potential love interest for arguable heroine Piper (Taylor Schilling).
What else has season three sentenced? Watch the first full-length look below:
Get locked up with the ladies of Litchfield when “Orange is the New Black” returns Friday, June 12 on Netflix.
Get your first look at Collin Farrell, Vince Vaughn, Rachel McAdams, and Taylor Kitsch in the upcoming new season of “True Detective.”
Here’s the official synopsis from HBO:
A bizarre murder brings together three law-enforcement officers and a career criminal, each of whom must navigate a web of conspiracy and betrayal in the scorched landscapes of California. Colin Farrell is Ray Velcoro, a compromised detective in the all-industrial City of Vinci, LA County. Vince Vaughn plays Frank Semyon, a criminal and entrepreneur in danger of losing his life’s work, while his wife and closest ally (Kelly Reilly), struggles with his choices and her own. Rachel McAdams is Ani Bezzerides, a Ventura County Sheriff’s detective often at odds with the system she serves, while Taylor Kitsch plays Paul Woodrugh, a war veteran and motorcycle cop for the California Highway Patrol who discovers a crime scene which triggers an investigation involving three law enforcement groups, multiple criminal collusions, and billions of dollars.
With HBO Now subscriptions available at $14.99, fans of the series who aren’t cable subscribers will be able to access the show on Apple devices.
I love Cersei Lannister. She is far and away my favorite character from Game of Thrones because she is so different from the usual female characters we watch or read about. Fully aware of who she is and completely unapologetic about it, Cersei never hides the fact that she lusts for power, or that she is a woman who believes she is better than all the men around her. Naturally, because of all this, I decided to share some of my love for the Lady Lannister and rank her best moments.
5. “If I wanted to kill you, do you think I’d let a wooden door stop me?”
Season 3 Episode 1
Oh, Cersei. Classic Cersei. Is there anyone in the realm who makes better threats than she? Tyrion makes more subtle, intelligent threats, sure, but Cersei doesn’t hide the insult. If she hates you, you know it, and the fact that she’s unpredictable makes her all the more terrifying.
Note: I don’t think of Cersei as a liar. Littlefinger is a liar. Cersei doesn’t go through the effort. Whenever someone makes a snide remark about her relationship with Jaime, she doesn’t deny it. She may twist the truth to get her way, especially with her father, but when she says something, whether it is the actual truth or not, SHE believes it to be true. Her misguided opinion of Tyrion as a liar and murderer is true in her mind.
4. “The price we pay for our sins”
Season 2 Episode 7
Most people see Cersei as despicable, cruel, and manipulative. I won’t deny she is those things–she most certainly is–but she also has her vulnerable moments, and even though she claims to hate him, they’re almost always in Tyrion’s presence. He sees beyond her rage and control issues and instead pities her. As Tyrion states, “You love your children. It’s your one redeeming quality–that and your cheekbones.” And I’ve always agreed with that sentiment. Much like Catelyn Stark, Cersei will do anything to protect her children, including defend the sadistic Joffrey.
Note: I almost included Cersei’s moment in the Sept of Baelor after Joffrey was murdered instead because her grief over her son’s death has been the most powerful in the show. Don’t worry, Catelyn Stark, you’re second.
3. “When You Play The Game Of Thrones You Win Or You Die”
Season 1 Episode 7
This is probably the moment when people started to take Cersei seriously. In the early parts of the first season, Cersei had a much more redeeming personality. She empathized with Catelyn Stark after Bran is thrown from the window (even though it was her fault), telling the story of her lost son (in what I believe was a true story, not one made up by Cersei to throw Catelyn off her trail). Her conversations with Robert Baratheon were raw representations of a couple still married only for the sake of appearances. And even in this pivotal scene with Ned Stark, Cersei manages to come across as likable, announcing that she did love Robert and tried to make it work, only his drunken whoring and fake affections destroyed her image of him. Then she drops the mic and all hell breaks loose, leading to another OH SHIT moment in the series:
2. “If you ever call me ‘sister’ again, I’ll have you strangled in your sleep.”
Season 3 Episode 8
Margaery you tried to befriend a lion and got mauled. By now, the sweet Tyrell girl with the worst marriage luck should know that the innocent school girl act doesn’t work on Cersei, as I’m sure that was a ploy she used once or twice in her many years of manipulation. Cersei knows just how crafty women can be because men don’t expect such things from the gentler sex (as she describes in detail to Sansa during the Battle of the Blackwater). Besides, look at her face. Look at it. Would you want to anger that sweetly sinister grin? Not I.
1. “Power is power”
Season 2 Episode 1
Who shouted at the TV, “OH SNAP” when this moment first aired? HM? You’re damn right all of you did because that was a beautiful display of who Cersei is as a character. Or rather, who she desperately thinks she is. As we’ve seen of late, that certainly is not the case, but in this moment early in the second season when the Lannisters were still riding high, Cersei shocking Littlefinger into submission was wonderful to behold.
Honorable mention goes to moment when Cersei slaps Joffrey, because any time that little twat is hit a direwolf has puppies.
Game of Thrones returns this Sunday on HBO. Squee with me, people. Squee with me.
That’s the question that Gabriel poses to Philip toward the end of this week’s episode – “are you falling apart?”
Philip (Matthew Rhys) answers that he’s fine, just pissed at the world in general and Gabriel’s platitudes and pretend friendship (I can’t blame him; I’m really beginning to hate the guy, too), before storming off with a thinly veiled threat. The fact is that Philip is falling apart, and the sight of him barely holding it together is breaking my heart. Elizabeth (Keri Russell) can see it, can sense it, but as usual she’s got a mountain of her own troubles keeping her from being the support that he needs to pick up the pieces.
Paige (Holly Taylor) is clearly freaking out about her parents’ secret, and who can blame her? She hasn’t moved past the asking a million questions phase from the expressing how she feels about it stage and I’m dying to find out what thoughts are rolling around in her head.
Things are re-heating with Martha at the office, with the investigator asking her to come in for another long session. Phil (or Clark) teaches her how to look convincingly innocent, how to lie well, and it seems to be working. The thing is, this is going to end badly and everyone but Phil seems to realize that–Martha is going to crack, she’s going to get caught, or she’s going to decide that lying to protect a husband she really hardly knows isn’t the smartest thing in the world and it’s going to blow up in their faces.
Elizabeth is running the job at the hotel, getting the manager to trust her so that she can copy keys and get into the computer system, and what she’s going through is one of the most interesting struggles and transformations in all three seasons of The Americans. See, Elizabeth is starting feel–for her daughter, for her husband, her marriage, the things she has to do in service to Mother Russia. Using sex to get to the hotel manager bothers her, it’s eating away at her (that said, coming home from making out with him to go down on you husband is kind of…off).
She’s falling apart, trying to figure out how she can reconcile what she believes with what she’s starting to feel. He’s falling apart, the news of his son and what happened to Annalise and Paige’s newfound knowledge swirling into a volcano he’s determined to not have erupt. He’s turning of his emotions as Elizabeth turns hers on, and the coming rift in their marriage is making me want to cry even in anticipation.
I’m not sure what’s in store for us in these past couple episodes of the season but as always, I’m nervous. The Russians have access to the FBI (I appreciated this bit of humor). Paige is a wild card. Nina is making headway with the scientist, but perhaps her heart is getting the better of her, too. Who knows what’s going to happen with Stan and Martha, and whether Phil’s going to lose his shit completely and do something stupid. I’m afraid that his not getting his way when it comes to Elizabeth going home to see her mother is going to be the spark that lights the fire and then all bets are off.
All bets are off with this show right now the way it is and even though it’s exciting, I might need someone to start holding my hand on Wednesday nights.
The Americans, Season 3, Episode 11 “One Day in the Life of Anton Baklanov” originally aired Wednesday, April 8th at 10/9c.
It’s that happy time of year again…we’re about to get treated to another sappy, sad, romantic love story penned by Nicholas Sparks (as adapted for the big screen). I, for one, refused to be shamed for my love for these types of smarmy loveliness, and in honor of this weekend’s release of The Longest Ride, I present you with my ranking of Nicholas Sparks adaptations from worst to best – mine, which is to say, the best and most correct list around town.
9. The Lucky One (2012): Who would have thought that the movie featuring Zac Efron would be the worst on my list, but it is. I have no idea how it’s possible to have zero chemistry with the living embodiment of physical perfection, but Taylor Schilling manages it. The reason this one is still worth watching can be summed up in two words: outdoor shower.
8. The Last Song (2010): That’s right–the Miley Cyrus/Liam Hemsworth debacle isn’t at the bottom of my list. In all fairness I found her bad acting to be less distracting than his, and I cried big fat tears at the end,so…win?
7. The Best of Me (2014): James Marsden and Michelle Monaghan are solid actors and their chemistry had me smiling at the television like a loon. This one might have ended up higher on the list if either of the actors playing the younger versions of the main characters had the slightest ability to connect with each other or me.
6. Safe Haven (2013): This one and #6 are almost dead even. Julianne Hough and Josh Duhamel surprised me with their chemistry, I loved the interaction with the kids, and the setting was one of the more original. Aside from the eyeroll-worthy ending that came out of basically nowhere, it’s a solid, middle of the road flick.
5. Nights in Rodanthe (2008): This one made it this high because for some reason, I bawled really hard while watching it. As that is one of the main goals and measures of a Sparks’ film, it deserves some credit. The love story is also super believable and the acting is strong, which contributes to it’s rank.
4. Message in a Bottle (1999): Sparks’ first movie (but not first novel) could be argued to be his best in terms of being well-made and well-received. It was made and released before we understood what to expect from his stories, which made its impact more potent (and heartbreaking). It also holds up well after fifteen years, which is tough to accomplish.
3. Dear John (2010): I know, I know. How can the adaptation featuring Channing Tatum and Amanda Seyfried end up so high on this list? The truth is, the two of them have great chemistry and the story is one of the ones that has always resonated for me. We also get the bonus of the awful ending that made us feel like awful people that Sparks treated us to in the book.
2. The Notebook (2004): I honestly can’t pick a favorite – #2 and #1 are interchangeable for me depending on the day. The Notebook is actually one of my favorite books of all time (top 10), and the intertwined love stories of the older and younger couples translates beautifully. The film would not have popped the way it did without the genuine sparks between Gosling and McAdams, but with the growing stars at the helm, it’s a can’t miss. If you can watch this and not cry, then I honestly have to wonder if you have a heart. It’s also worth noting that this is Sparks’s only movie that actually has a happy ending, because if you think about it, at least the central couple enjoyed a lifetime together before being separated by illness. Food for thought.
1. A Walk to Remember (2002): Who could forget Mandy Moore and Shane West after their performances in this heart wrenching tale of first love and staggering loss? He’s the perfect boyfriend. She’s the dying girl with the grace and hope we all pray we’d have in her shoes. Their love is young and pure and joyous and it reminds us all of the first time we felt that way–like we might explode any moment. From the story to the performances to the rather perfectly timed, bittersweet ending, this one often lands at the top of my list.
So, do you agree with me, fellow people who love to cry at movies? Disagree? Which is your favorite and which earned more groans than tears? Are you looking forward to The Longest Ride? I’d love to hear!
The Last Man on Earth will be coming back next year for a second, FOX announced in a press release on Wednesday.
“We knew we had something special with THE LAST MAN ON EARTH. It’s one of those rare shows that continues to add depth and dimension to its unique premise, week after week,” said FOX’s President, Entertainment, David Madden. “We are so thrilled that this incredibly bold, original and inventive series has been embraced by both fans and critics, and we cannot wait to see where the creative genius and inspired vision of Will, Phil and Chris take us in Season Two.”
The Last Man on Earth chronicles the life and adventures of Phil Miller (Will Forte), an average guy – and humanity’s last hope – who discovers what life is like when no one is telling you what you can and cannot do. The series also stars Kristen Schaal, January Jones and Mel Rodriguez.
The final two episodes of the first season will airSunday, April 12 (9:00-10:00 PM ET/PT) on FOX.
There’s not a whole slew of unique photos we can produce or interesting stuff to do. So, I think we’ll report on each of the inductees and their best moments and give our opinions on the live experience.
We took our good ol’ San Jose VTA Lightrail system to SAP Center. Beautiful day, as always, in downtown San Jose. Part of a beautiful weekend.
LOTS of Macho Man shirts. I wore mine. Macho Man Randy Savage means a lot to me. I grew up watching him and loved his wrestling style and he (along with Jake Roberts) are the constant my Mom and I share with pro-wrestling.
In any case, here’s a shot of SAP.
I don’t know if this was a new rule that was added since the New Orleans crowd at last year’s event were shouting things at the inductees, but these signs were posted all over the place.
The tickets we got for this event weren’t great. We were in the 4th row of the upper deck, so we don’t have incredible pictures. We came for the speeches.
Seriously. This is how I watched the Red Carpet: on my phone, using The WWE Network (FOR ONLY $9.99!!!). Because it’s much better than giving you photos, using the digital zoom lens and high ISO on my camera in low light:
I was a bit confused as to why WWE doesn’t do the Red Carpet show from another room and broadcast it on the Jumbotron for the guests to see but, oh well.
It was kinda surreal, at one point…some guy showed up dressed just like Randy Savage…and I mean just like…he had the build, the perfect beard, the grin…everything. Even the lighting made it look like Savage was visiting his own tribute from beyond the grave.
As far as the speeches, my thoughts are these…
RIKISHI
Along with The Bushwhackers, I really didn’t think Rikishi was “of note”. He’s more known for the idiotic “Stinkface” (which I’ve never liked; it’s unwatchable and disgusting — even though WWE portrays it as a major milestone in his career) than he is for winning titles. Ironically, his induction was a pleasant surprise.
His sons, The Usos, were selected to introduce and induct him, recalling how their Dad evolved from a broke father who would breakdance in front of the Cow Palace in Daly City for cash, into the guy he is today. Rikishi’s speech was from the heart: genuine, full of love for his family and the fans. He spoke of sacrifice, of not being home to raise his sons and missing birthdays and other events — but that it paid off. Earlier, The Usos mentioned that the Stinkface “put them through college”. Rikishi would mention Umaga and salute the sky in a tribute to him. He’d also pay tribute to his father and his late mother. Strangely absent in his speech was Too Cool, who are, at least, partly responsible for his big push in WWE.
All in all, this was a beautiful speech capped off with Rikishi dancing with his sons at the end. SAP Center clapped along and fun was had by all.
LARRY ZBYSZKO
This is more like it. Zbyszko was brought into the Hall of Fame by WWE Legend Bruno Sammartino who recalled the first time he had ever met Zbyszko: some teenager who wrestled for his high school and wanted to go Pro like Sammartino.
Zbyszko went into more detail: he described driving his car through Bruno’s neighborhood and “felt compelled to stop” when he saw Sammartino tanning out near his backyard swimming pool. He was blocked by a “wall of hedges” — and proceeded to blast through them anyhow, scraping up his face and body. He described it as a “rabbit hole” of sorts and said that “Bruno was on the other side”. Instead of escorting the young kid out the door, Bruno took him under his wing and the rest was history. Zbyszko’s speech meanders a bit here and there and he loses his train of thought more than once, stating that it’s ironic since he’s “known for having a big mouth”. Ultimately, Zbyszko goes poetic with his speech, saying he went through another rabbit hole tonight — through the backstage curtain — and that, once again, Sammartino was waiting on the other side. This time, Sammartino was ready “to show him the door” as it was finally time to go. He talked of dreams and how his came true and he finished by wishing for fans to never give up on theirs. A nice speech, though it felt overlong.
ALUNDRA BLAYZE (AKA “Madusa”)
Inducted by WWE Diva Natalya, Blayze’s speech was an absolute showstopper. She credited Wahoo McDaniel, Sherri Martel, and Greg Valentine for her start — but insists that she really wanted to be — and still could be — a stuntwoman. In an emotional moment, she thanked her husband who, through special circumstances, was able to get time off from his military deployment. This lead to Blayze urging all fans in the SAP Center who served their country, city or town as a solider, paramedic, police officer, firefighter, and the like to rise so they could get recognized. From my vantage point, there were about a dozen around our side of the second deck but I know more were there.
Blayze also got very playful, talking about the time she tossed the WWE Womens Championship in the trash on WCW television — and subsequently removing it from a trash can supplied by Nattie later in the speech. She admitted having a crush on Steve Austin, warned Arn Anderson that she would beat his ass — after thanking him, of course, and praised Paul Heyman for being able to “rock a mullet, carry a huge phone and have a mouth only a mother could love.” Then, she said she was the first “Paul Heyman Girl”.
Blayze also sung her own praises, bragging about winning the title and still being champion, as well as being a champion monster truck racer. She ended the speech by blowing a kiss and telling everyone “good night”. An excellent speech that got the crowd at SAP extremely pumped. People flew out of their seats for the standing ovation rather than reluctantly getting up — and, believe me, that’s telling.
CONNOR “THE CRUSHER” MICHALEK
This one was a mixed bag for me.
It started strange when Dana Warrior (wife of the late Warrior) started the induction — then, for the next ten minutes, decided to thank the list of people who helped her after Warrior passed away. Don’t get me wrong, that’s nice and all…but this award was for Connor and this speech should have been given when Dana was presented with her husband’s statue at the first night at Axxess. It got to the point that some in our section were starting to grumble and a couple said, “This belongs to Connor, not Dana…”
Ultimately, Dana finally got around to speaking about Connor but, for me, the opening came across as largely self-serving.
Daniel Bryan came out next and, in another odd moment, decided to declare that “wrestling is all fake”, drawing a very visceral reaction from the crowd who nearly booed him out of the building. The reason for the phrasing was because every fan in the building was doing they “YES” cheer upon Bryan’s arrival on-stage and he really was attempting to avoid that since it wasn’t his moment — perhaps a slight jab at Dana. I have no idea. His ultimate point was that Connor, and kids who suffer like he does, have very real struggles, but the second false start made things kinda awkward, since WWE’s big on the illusion of reality and theatricality. In any case, Bryan turned things around and got the fans behind (and chanting for) Connor, spinning stories about his time spent with Connor. He said that, for a little boy under the threat of death, Connor was so full of life.
Finally, we got Connor’s father, Steve, to accept the honor. Steve looked incredibly stressed out and sounded on the verge of tears the entire speech and who could blame him? Who would want to be in his shoes, giving a speech like that in front of thousands of people? He was brave and powered through. But, I truly lost my shit when Connor’s little brother came out to the stage with his Dad and said, “I love you, Connor” into the mic.
THE BUSHWHACKERS
John Laurinaitis inducted the two loveable goofballs from New Zealand, telling stories of younger training days at the hands of Luke and Butch — and ended up keeping them in check along the way.
This was the surprise speech of the night — and very much needed after the Warrior Award drained all the momentum and energy from the building. Luke (left) and Butch (right) are very much like their characters: wild and unhinged, but also good-natured and a riot. For the small block of time, Luke and Butch recalled their early days, wrestling the likes of Peter Maivia and hordes of Samoan wrestlers in their homeland of New Zealand in some of the roughest, meanest, bloodiest matches in pro-wrestling history. “We were doing ‘Hardcore’ before people knew what ‘Hardcore’ was!” proclaimed Butch, who was both confused and upset when WWE brought them into the company — and wanted them to be “faces” rather than heels. “I got on their desk on my hands and knees,” Butch yelled. “[I made a face at them], and said, ‘How are you gonna make good guys out of THESE heads?!” I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so hard during a speech in my life. The whole thing made you smile from beginning to end and made you realize that they belonged here.
TATSUMI FUJINAMI
Fujinami was inducted by the great Ric Flair who talked up Fujinami’s legendary toughness and inventiveness, saying that Japan pushes their athletes to excel during their training regimens.
“I fight because it is my mission,” Fujinami would say. “And, today, I join the WWE Hall of Fame. It has been a challenge and an adventure.” Fujinami thanked his wife and left the stage. Fujinami’s speech was everything a speech should be: eloquent, humble, gracious and succinct.
“MACHO MAN” RANDY SAVAGE
Hulk Hogan (who proclaimed himself “Randy’s good friend” about a half dozen times) actually gave a pretty good lead-in here, telling stories of how Savage used to push the people he worked with to be better. Hogan also said that his father, Angelo, is the reason he wears Canary Yellow tights in the ring: it makes him stand out among others.
As expected, Savage’s brother, Lanny Poffo, accepted the award on Savage’s behalf, giving the best speech of the night. He was eloquent, charming and perfect with no schmaltz. Lanny wrote two poems for this occasion and had one of the best lines of night to finish off the first poem: “With triumphant jubilation, we celebrate his name. Finally, the Macho Man is IN THE HALL OF FAME!” He got serious and talked about the Macho Man’s philanthropy with the Special Olympics and how he’d give away personally-signed WWE merch to those athletes. He even cracked a few jokes: “Randy loved the athletes of the Special Olympics like Mr. T loves his mother!” Lanny delivered on a speech that, in my opinion, had high expectations. He gave us the man that we all knew and loved.
There was only one thing that bugged me…
ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER
He was this year’s “Celebrity Induction”. Savage needed to be last…and he wasn’t even second to last, which is insulting.
I’m not impressed. Triple H gave a nice lead-in induction…but who the fuck cares about Schwarzenegger outside his movies? The dude was a lousy governor and I’m not the only one who thought so. The dude was booed out of the building when mentioning his political career and a LOT of people remained in their seats amongst the standing ovation he got. Even his speech felt like a recycled political campaign speech, laced with lines from his films, and completely unmemorable.
That’s really all I’ve got to say.
KEVIN NASH
The last hour of this show was just Triple H giving his friends the stage. Shawn Michaels did the induction, which was a treat and as eloquent and as humorous as speeches come.
Nash’s speech was honest, dry and self-deprecating as he thanked other people for booting him in the ass to get him to work and also admitted doing all of this just for the money. Despite what I say, you can’t really dislike Nash. He’s been in the business for over 25 years and he’s paid his dues. I still wouldn’t have had him headline the Hall of Fame this year as Savage is a hell of a lot more memorable than Nash ever could be — but that’s my opinion.
If you wanna challenge that in the chat below, be my guest. I’ll just say this…I didn’t see anyone at the arena imitating Diesel.
Just sayin’…
Part 4 is coming…and that will cover WrestleMania 31…
“Afterlife” in the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. world could have meant many things. It could have been a metaphorical reference to our main characters. It could have been a physical reference as to where people go when faced with a certain situation. In this case, it was a little bit of both, the title acting as a place and also an emotion.
As it turns out, “afterlife” is where we find Skye has been taken after Gordon rescued her from the forest last week. It’s kind of like China and kind of like a Buddist Temple and also kind of like Rivendell, and it’s called “afterlife” because no one really knows what to call it. More importantly, it’s a place where people with powers are taken, in order to “transition.” Lincoln (Luke Mitchell) is Skye’s “transitioner” whom she meets when she wakes with some strange acupuncture treatments. (He immediately offers her popcorn, which is always a nice way to start a relationship. At least, in my opinion.)
Skye isn’t interested in popcorn, though. She’s scared and worried and wants to get in contact with her friends, which seems to be out of the question. She’s also concerned that people are looking at her strangely. Lincoln tells her that it’s because she’s, well, different. Everyone in “afterlife” has a gene in them that allows them to change, but while they sit and wait around for their day of glory – if it ever comes – Skye went through it the old fashioned way, with a diviner and a Kree Temple. Apparently, that hasn’t happened in years.
But being a “celebrity” is the exact opposite of what Skye wants. People may be envious of her powers but she never wanted them, and she also knows that Gordon took Cal and Raina. Lincoln brings her to his room and tries to indulge her with pizza night, even though Skye still wants nothing more than to get rid of the thing that has caused so much grief in her life. But Lincoln tells her the transition is now irreversible – her powers are here to stay.
To help win her over, Lincoln brings Skye to the top of a mountain, which I guess is kind of like an form of odd therapy. He shows off his own powers, and tells her that when he came out of the mist, every cell in his body had a different electrical charge. “Skye’s the limit,” he says as he elevates her by using only his energy. Pun absolutely intended, by the way. It’s a sweet moment and Lincoln isn’t playing around – he’s not out for some ulterior motive (or so it seems.) He’s just trying to genuinely help.
Coulson and Hunter, meanwhile, are off having some buddy cop adventures that are pretty amazing. From stealing a truck (nice work, Hunter) to holing themselves up at Banner’s cabin where Skye was taken (and finding footage of what happened), it’s really fun to see these two working together, even if Coulson is fighting some major guilt over losing Skye. He feels responsible for what happened, and it’s clear he really thinks of Skye as his daughter – and as someone who needs to be protected. But he also feels that he fails S.H.I.E.L.D. as a whole with Bobbi and Mack’s secret, and you can’t blame him for wanting to accept Hunter’s whiskey. To Coulson’s credit, he’s not angry, at least, not in the way May is. He understands both sides of the story, even though Hunter can’t. It’s nice to see Hunter on Coulson’s side and so dedicated, especially after everything that we’ve heard about him being flighty. And it’s clear he really wants to do the right thing and be a part of a team he cares about. I just hope that means Bobbi and him get to reconcile in some way down the line, because I’m still all aboard that train.
Coulson ends up triggering the alarm on the safehouse which Hunter is pissed about, but as it turns out, Coulson wantsthem to be found. He wants to take down the carrier, and he has reinforcement on the way – only one person he’d trust – the identity of which he keeps Hunter in the dark about. If it’s not May, then who might it be?
Deathlok. Yep. Coulson has called back Deathlok. Kudos to Marvel for keeping the character’s return pretty much underwraps, because I would’ve never expected him to show up like that. It seems Deathlok is definitely reformed (and knows how to fly a helicarrier, which gets him definite points.) Coulson seems to be building up a nice little team here between Deathlok and Hunter, but I have to wonder what his eventual end game is. He understands that Gonzales isn’t exactly out to get him, and he said those words himself. But it seems like he’s still trying to protect as much as he can from his own life, building his own side of this war.
Back on the Bus, Gonzales argues with Bobbi about what happened with Skye. Bobbi makes it clear that she’s on Skye’s side – and she also defends Coulson while she’s at it. Points for Bobbi! They still need to get into the box, though, and for that, they need Fitz’ scientific mind. Gonzales tries to casually bribe both Fitz and Simmons by appealing to them, telling them that there are no prisoners here – they’re all S.H.I.E.L.D. agents wanting to do the right thing. But FitzSimmons remain loyal to Coulson, refusing to help.
And as it turns out (unsurprisingly), May is remaining loyal to Coulson, as well. When Gonzales asks her if her ties lie with S.H.I.E.L.D. or Coulson, May answers that they’re the same. Gonzales firmly believes that with Coulson’s alien DNA, he should be on the Index, reminding May that “you of all people know what happens when powered people lose control.” We get a shot of a file that says Behrain, another ominous reference to having to put someone down (“isn’t that why they call you the Cavalry?”) and given that next week’s episode is entirely Melinda May focused, it’s safe to say we’re being set up for some crucial May back story that will no doubt inform our current plot.
Gonzales isn’t exactly happy to find out that Deathlok is working with Coulson, along with Hunter. He decides then and there that he wants The Bus, and he also wants Agent May – easier said than done, as we know. Gonzales offers May a seat on their board (no catch, it seems), and then tells her that they’re going to bring Coulson in. Remember: Gonzales doesn’t want enemies. Not when there’s a bunch of new threats out there.
Gordon appears to Cal, who is upset with his treatment. Cal isn’t dumb – he’s figured out they’ve found Skye, and goes into complete “crazy desperate dad mode” as he ends up in a fight against Gordon. He loses, obviously, because you can’t really win against an eyeless Inhuman, but when he asks why he can’t see his own daughter, Gordon tells him it’s because he has no self-control. Cal’s actions (or history) hasn’t only sealed his fate, but the fate of his daughter as well…which is something that doesn’t seem like it will bode well for Skye down the road.
As Skye and Lincoln continue their talk about powers, Skye figures out Raina is actually in the same place, despite Lincoln saying otherwise. It’s interesting to hear Skye freak out and talk about how “I am not what she is,” when that’s what most of her friends are saying, just in another way. And it’s an interesting dichotomy, because Skye is so terrified to be what Raina is. Yet, as Raina implies, they’re more parallel than they want to admit: both orphans, both given their powers without wanting them, and both trying to figure out where they belong. Skye finds where Raina has been hiding and argues with her about what she did in the Temple, blaming her for what happened to Trip. Her powers get the best of her, but before she can actually let loose and kill Raina, she’s interrupted and saved by…
…her mother. Yes. Skye’s mother. Not that Skye knows that yet. But we know it, and I can’t wait to see what this means. Mom talks with Skye and convinces her to stay, telling her that she would be her guide and train her, if she wanted to remain in afterlife. And maybe it’s the fact that, well, Skye’s mother knows how to talk to her, but Skye accepts.
So what does Skye’s mother do next? Shows up to Cal via those teleportation powers, and confirms that it is their daughter who has come back to them. The family drama is real…and it’s about to get a lot more complicated than Coulson is prepared for, now that both parents are ready to fight for their Daisy.
It’s a bit of a gut punch when we end the episode with Fitz leaving. But remember, Fitz finds out via Mack that Simmons has gone ahead with opening the box, and the fact that she’s apparently broken their shared trust angers him enough to realize he can’t stay around. Even though we got to see Simmons stand up to him, it still hurt to see Fitz leave for good — yet while we mourned the apparent loss of our Science Bros, the payoff was worth it. We ended the episode with Simmons apologizing for the fact that she just couldn’t figure out how to open the box, and that it was pretty much useless. But when Fitz got into a cab and opened his bag, the real toolbox was inside…along with a note from Jemma and a sandwich just the way Fitz likes it. (Throwback to season one, everyone!)
FitzSimmons are back. And they’re not letting anything bring them down.
Odds & Ends:
Grant Ward. He’s finally returning, and I’m guessing based on Coulson’s words that he’ll have a huge role in the final run of episodes.
That hologram trick was super neat. And the fact that Trip (R.I.P.) and Fitz built a 21st century Howling Commandos kit? That’s even neater. I really want one of these. I just want one of those kits in general, actually.
I absolutely love the Bobbi and Simmons BFF relationship. Even though it became clear at the end of the hour that FitzSimmons had a game plan of their own, I still love watching the two of them interact and bond. I also do think that Simmons really does look up to and care about Bobbi…it’s just that right now, all their relationships are strained too much to connect on more than a “fall on your own sword” level.
Speaking of relationships: I am all on board the buddy cop show with Coulson and Hunter. Please someone at Marvel make this happen.
What did you think of the episode? Sound off, and let me know!
I apologize for the lateness of this recap. We had a late night and got in and pretty much fell asleep from a long day…so…
LET’S GO…
We are LIVE(!!!) from Austin, Texas for WWE RAW!!!
Byron Saxton is in for the pretty-much-dead Michael Cole and he’s joined by JBL and Booker.
JBL: “I CAN’T WAIT TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS THIS WEEK!!! I HAD SURGERY AND I’M HERE!!!” (LONG, VERY uncomfortable silence as the other announcers realize that they could be next.)
Seth Rollins is in the ring with Kane and J&J Security. Big Show joins them. Crowd won’t stop booing. Big Show reminds us that this “our champion”, the guy who got a huge pop just because he was beating up Roman Reigns. Rollins says that the biggest takeaway from WrestleMania wasn’t the large attendance or the Twitter “trend” record. It was that they always wins. He reminds us that Triple H and Show both went over at WrestleMania. He tries to pump up Kane by saying, “Kane was THERE!” Show pumps up Rollins as the new champ, then kisses his ass. Rollins tries to talk up Kane again, but Randy Orton interrupts.
Orton’s here to remind everyone that he BEAT Rollins at WrestleMania. He wants the Championship and asks Kane to grant the match. Kane says that, tonight, there will be a Triple Threat Match to determine the #1 Contender for the match at Extreme Rules. It will feature: Roman Reigns, Ryback for some reason and Randy Orton. But, Orton’s got another match…against him. Rollins isn’t happy at all.
The clicking sound you hear is everyone switching to Better Call Saul.
MATCH #1: Kane vs. Randy Orton Orton hits a couple clotheslines in the corner, then puts Kane in another corner, but get gets sent outside by a Kane uppercut. When we come back from break, Kane boots Orton and pins him for two. He clotheslines Orton in the corner, beats on him and hits a Sidewalk Slam for two. Kane hits a suplex and gets two.Kane tries a Chokeslam but Orton breaks the hold and kicks Kane outside the ring. He goes for the Elevated DDT and hits it. Orton goes for the RKO but Kane leaves the ring. Orton chases and beats Kane against the barricade…so, Kane retaliates with a chair and it’s a DQ at 9:01 which didn’t feel that long at all thanks to five minutes of Popeye’s ads and commercials for 5 Gum. WINNER: Randy Orton via DQ
RATING: 1/2*. Arbitrary, pointless and DOA and went nowhere before an abrupt, shitty end. What do Kane and Big Show have on Triple H and Vince right now? Why did Orton not go over here?!
Post-match, both guys almost hit their big moves, then break away from one another.
Speaking of pointless and arbitrary:
TONIGHT: Ryback faces Luke Harper
ALSO: Roman Reigns vs. Big Show
Byron and the guys address AJ’s pregnancy “retirement”.
Backstage, Brad Maddox is talking to Kane who yells at Maddox. Then Rollins shows up to yell at Kane because Kane’s not the “Director of Operations”…? Anyhow, Rollins is tired of Kane “not getting it”: they’re supposed to be protecting Rollins. Kane reminds Rollins that Rollins wouldn’t even be champion without his help at Money in the Bank. Kane says that it’s his job to book Rollins against a “viable opponent” at Extreme Rules. Rollins says it’s probably time for Kane to step down from Director of Operations and that Triple H and Steph would agree with him. Kane says that Triple H and Steph are on vacation in the “South Pacific with no internet or cell phone connection”. What, did they travel to Rogers and Hammerstein’s South Pacific? Rollins says that Kane will answer for his bullshit when they get back. Kane retaliates and says that Rollins is in a match…NEXT!
Well, not really “next”. Byron has to talk with JBL and Booker about Brock Lesnar going into Hairless Wookie Rage last week and then we get clips of it.
Seth is out for his match — NEXT!
Oh, wait, now we get a commercial break. So, like, after that.
When we come back, Seth’s opponent is…Neville?! We’re already ready to job Neville?! Jeebus in a canoe, this show…Rollins sarcastically introduces him to the audience and has Neville introduce himself. Neville doesn’t talk, so Rollins pretty much calls him chicken shit and tells him to sit this out. Neville kicks him instead.
MATCH #2: WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins (w/ Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury) vs. Neville (non-title) Neville hits a nice arm drag and rolls Rollins up for a one count. Rollins comes back, knocking him to the mat with a shoulderblock. Rollins stomps at him as JBL talks about “having surgery” for the 47th time. Neville does his gymnastic flip routine and kicks Rollins in the face, then sends him outside and leaps at him with a flipping splash. J&J tries to attack but Neville gets back into the ring. After a break, Neville and Rollins fight in the corner and Rollins trips him, sending him, face-first, into the buckle. Two count. He chokes Neville against the bottom rope as the crowd tries to pump Neville up. He makes a short comeback but Rollins just whips him into the buckle and drops some knees for two. Side headlock on Neville but Neville gets to his feet and breaks. Series of counters and Rollins hits a quick Enzuguri for two. Rollins hits a knee to the gut against the ropes as Booker says that “Neville is a winner no matter what happens tonight.” Rollins punches Neville in the face a bunch of times and it’s another headlock. Neville fights out and hits a chinbreaker. Rollins whips him to the ropes and Neville hits a lariat and kicks. Rollins comes back with a huge running clothesline which flips Neville in a complete circle. It’s another two count. The two trade shots but Rollins goes for the Buckle Bomb. Neville counters it and goes for his finisher — but J&J get involved. Neville manages to kick Mercury away from him but Rollins manages to get up, grab Neville for the Buckle Bomb and Curb Stomp to close it at 12:01. WINNER: Seth Rollins via Curb Stomp
RATING: ***. Not a bad match but Neville barely seemed to have any offense for most of it.
Post-match, Rollins & J&J beat up Neville and taunt him because fuck the new guy.
TONIGHT: Triple Threat Match between Randy Orton, Roman Reigns and Ryback.
ALSO: John Cena REEEEEALLY doesn’t want the Franklin Mint ‘Murica Commemorative Plate Belt anymore! PLEASE TAKE IT!
Furious 7 is #1 at the Box Office this week. No surprise there.
Out comes John Cena for the “Open Challenge”. Cena pumps up the crowd, hits a cheap city pop, brags about beating Rusev, CHAMP IS HERE, etc. He says that Rusev wants a rematch with him at Extreme Rules. Cena says he wants to have a Championship Match RIGHT HERE IN AUSTIN, TEXAS!!! He says he’s not gonna just cough the belt up, though. He tells somebody to come out and get some…and it’s fucking Stardust. The crowd reacts by hitting the snack bar. Wow. Shouldn’t Neville have been booked here instead?
MATCH #3: John Cena (champion) vs. Stardust (challenger) for the WWE United States Championship Crowd chants for Cody who screams at them and tells them “IT’S STARDUST!” Some heavy countering and Dust hits a Sunset Flip for two. Cena sends him out of the ring but Star holds the top rope and flips back in. Cena slams him and drops punches. He hits Move #1 and stops. Star backs off and goes into a corner. Cena just tosses him around like a rag doll, then hits a VERY delayed Vertical Suplex for two. Cena clotheslines Star’s head off and gets two. Headlock by Cena. Star breaks but runs into Cena’s shoulderblock which must be like running into a wall. Finally, Star just rolls out of the ring and addresses the crowd. After a break, we’re back to the latest Cena massacre. He has Star in the AA but Star actually escapes, hits a buckle and dropkicks Cena, getting two. Cena runs at Star in the corner but gets a boot to the face and can barely pretend that hurt. Two count by Star. Star leaps at Cena again and Cena counters with a sitting Powerbomb of sorts for two. Another AA sees Star landing on his feet and hitting a quick Alabama Slam for two. Star sets up his finisher but Cena comes back with a Falling Body Slam for two. Cena sets up for the AA AGAIN but Star escapes for the third time and hits a Sunset Flip for two. Cena gets up and hits Move #3. He goes for the 5KS but Star kicks him and hits a DDT for two which we recap about two or three times because NOBODY EVER DDT’S CENA! Star hits a nice splash off the ropes and NEARLY gets a fall. Star runs at Cena but Cena grabs his leg and hits the STF. Star escapes and hits Cross Rhodes — NEARLY getting another fall. Cena instantly gets up and hits his brand-new movie, that goofy Springboard Stunner plus an AA to retain at 13:16. WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: John Cena via AA
RATING: ***. Complete mis-match on paper which translated to a crappy first half. Got way better as it went along. The problem is that I really didn’t believe, for one second, that Cena is in any danger.
STILL TO COME: The Triple Threat Match
TONIGHT: Reigns vs. Big Show
ALSO TONIGHT: Ryback vs. Luke Harper
MATCH #4: The Bella Twins (Brie Bella & WWE Divas Champion Nikki Bella) vs. Naomi & Paige Paige and Brie start. They lock up and Brie slaps Paige who comes back, pissed, clotheslining Brie. Paige charges the ropes but Nikki distracts her. Brie knocks Paige out of the ring. She kicks at Paige and puts her back into the ring, hitting the Drunken Knee or Brie Mode or whatever we’re calling that. Brie puts on the CHINLOCK OF DOOM. Paige breaks but gets tossed to the mat. Brie tags Nikki and the twins hit a double suplex. Nikki puts Body Scissors on Paige, then breaks the hold and struts around the ring. She slams Paige against the buckle, then runs at her and misses. Hot tag to Naomi which gets nothing from the crowd. Naomi works over Nikki, then knocks Brie off the mat. Naomi misses an attack off the ropes and hits the fucking stupid Ass Bump. Brie comes into the ring to help. Paige kicks Nikki’s head off, then ejects Brie from the ring. Naomi hits a Leg Scissor DDT which, again, gets nothing from the crowd. That seals it up at 5:14 as JBL says “FUNK IS ON A ROLL” so many times, even my neighbor Tweets WWE to tell them to take JBL off the air. WINNERS: Naomi & Paige
RATING: 1/2 a *. I’m all for giving Divas a chance…but there’s nothing going on with them. We went from Nikki feuding with her sister to Brie suddenly not giving a shit about her sister’s abuse to Nikki winning the title to Nikki feuding with Paige to Nikki feuding with both AJ and Paige to…constant tag team matches. I have a feeling this is the status quo until Total Divas restarts.
The Primetime Players cut a promo about how awful The New Day is.
MATCH #5: Ryback vs. Luke Harper Ryback beats up Harper in the corner but Harper comes back with a quick dropkick and uppercuts. One count. Ryback hits a Falling Press Slam but runs into a Superkick on a failed Meathook attempt. JBL: “FEED ME MORE? YEAH! THROUGH A STRAW!” Ryback falls outside and Harper goes after him, beating up on him. He rolls Ryback into the ring but misses the Clothesline From Hell. Ryback runs at him and Harper hits Winds of Change for two. Harper hits a Crossface but Ryback breaks it and hits a suplex. Shell Shock and we’re done at 2:34. WINNER: Ryback via Shell Shock
RATING: *1/4. Routine squash.
The New Day is backstage with Renee who FINALLY acknowledges that the fans are saying, “New Day sucks”. Kofi: “It hurts that they say that…but we clap…or we SNAP…” Uh. Wut. Big E talks about signing autographs. Because he can clap. Then they clap.
MATCH #6: The New Day (Xavier Woods & Big E) (w/ Kofi Kingston) vs. Lucha Dragons (Sin Cara & Kalisto) Kofi still does the New Day clap. The crowd does the New Day Sucks chant. So, this is the Painfully Ironic Day now, I guess. The New Day beats up Cara in the corner with no mercy whatsoever. Woods puts a chinlock on Cara but Cara breaks. Woods immediately hits some kicks to his gut and gets a two count. Big E gets in and continues the beating. Cara manages to flip over E and tag Kalisto who destroys Woods. E tries to attack but Cara dumps him.. Woods tries a cheap roll-up but only gets two. Kalisto hits his finisher, then dives at E and Kofi. Tag to Cara who hits the Flying Reverse Senton for the win. WINNERS: Lucha Dragons
RATING: **. Short match, but effective. Kalisto and Sin Cara are an impressive team.
NEXT: Roman Reigns vs. Big Show
MATCH #7: Roman Reigns vs. Big Show My feed cut out for part of this. It continues with Show choking Reigns against the bottom rope. Reigns comes back with punches but Show just grabs him and tosses him out of the ring. Show continues the beating outside but gets tossed into the ringpost on a counter by Reigns. Reigns dropkicks him in the head but Show comes back with a Spear. After break, Show has Reigns in the ring and hits a Side Suplex. Reigns gets to his feet because Show just walks around and/or stands there. Reigns comes back with a kick in the corner but Show grabs him and hits a Sidewalk Slam. Show goes for a Vader Bomb, hitting it perfectly. He gets two. Reigns gets to his feet and Show kicks him out of the ring again. Show follows, beats on him some more, then stands there and waits for Reigns to wake up and get back in the ring again. Show grabs him by the hair and just kinda stands there, looking at him. Reigns punches him, then hits three Superman Punches and Spear and we’re done at around ten minutes. WINNER: Roman Reigns via Spear
RATING: *. Big, dull, boring — just like the other two matches involving the #1 contenders. Aren’t you glad we have to sit through another matchwith all three of them?
Kane is leaving a message for Triple H and Steph — despite the fact they’re on Gilligan’s Island. Natalya, Summer, Cameron and Alicia come in, squealing over Kane. They all want a “battle royal” to determine who the real #1 Contender should be for the Divas Championship, despite the fact that three of the four of them don’t do anything remotely meaningful.
Renee Young stops Reigns and wants to know his next move. Reigns holds up his fist and tells her wait and see.
Sheamus has new music to match his new look. It’s not bad at all.He wants everyone to know that he is what a “real man looks like”. He says grown-ups are speaking now. He says that the little go-getters don’t do much at all. He says that people criticize him for bullying smaller guys…but there aren’t really guys his size, so he has no choice. Mark Henry’s music hits and out he comes to job.
MATCH #8: Sheamus vs. Mark Henry Sheamus isn’t having this and leaves the ring. He tells Henry not to waste his time — so Henry grabs him and tosses him back into the ring. Sheamus isn’t happy and tries to kick Henry. Henry grabs his leg and knocks him down. Sheamus fights back and clubs Henry across the neck. Henry blocks a move and dumps Sheamus from the ring. Henry chases and Sheamus just hits him in the face. Back in the ring, Sheamus tries for Ten Beats but Henry stops it at four. Sheamus knees him in the gut until he goes down. Sheamus picks him up again but Henry goes for the WSS, which Sheamus escapes. He hits the Brogue and we’re done. WINNER: Sheamus via Brogue Kick
RATING: N/A. This was your typical semi-squash.
MATCH #9: The Miz vs. Damien Miz-dow Miz-dow (who is still Miz-dow despite breaking free of Miz) immediately attacks Miz and it’s a brawl that spills outside the ring. Miz-dow runs Miz’s head into the mat, then picks him up and knees him in the head. Miz-dow kicks him in the corner, then chokes him. He tries to rush at Miz but Miz kicks him in the head and starts wailing on Miz-dow, kicking him in the head after a flurry of punches. Miz chokes Miz-dow against the middle rope and works him over in the corner. Miz-dow comes back and beats up Miz in the corner, nailing him with hard elbows. Miz-dow hits a quick suplex and drops an elbow. Miz gets to the ropes but Miz-dow won’t let him go, hitting him with hard knees. Miz finally drops out of the ring. Miz-dow chases him back in and Miz is on him, kicking away. Miz-dow regroups in the corner and Miz climbs up on him, grinding his face into the buckle. Miz-dow stands up and puts Miz on his shoulders, hitting an Electric Chair Drop. Miz-dow gets up and headbutts Miz who rolls out of the ring. Miz drops Miz-dow’s neck on the ropes and comes back in, rushing. Miz-dow quickly hits a clothesline, then a back/neckbreaker combo. He goes for the SCF but Miz blocks and it’s more brawling before Miz manages the cheap roll-up pin to end it. WINNER: The Miz
RATING: ***1/2. This was the match of the night. These two fought with incredible intensity. Great stuff. Why they couldn’t wait until Extreme Rules is puzzling, but it’s fine.
NEXT: The main event…
MATCH #10: Ryback vs. Randy Orton vs. Roman Reigns in a Triple Threat Match for the #1 Contender’s Spot for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship Ryback tries Shell Shock on Reigns but that doesn’t happen.Orton and Reigns dump him, then fight int he corner. Ryback comes roaring back into the fight and clotheslines Reigns who comes back with his leaping clothesline, getting two. Orton and Reigns trade shots and Orton hits a clothesline out of the corner. Ryback dumps Orton out of the ring and goes to work on Reigns…and, suddenly, the Authority is out in force on the entrance ramp. Ryback puts Reigns in the corner, then hits a powerslam. He attempts the Meathook but Orton comes in and hits clotheslines on both guys, then hits twin powerslams in stride. He goes for the Elevated DDT on Ryback but Reigns leaps up and clubs Orton in the head. Two count. Reigns hits about a half dozen clotheslines in the corner but Orton interferes. Reigns hits a Superman Punch on Orton. Ryback hits a Spinebuster on Reigns. Ryback goes for a Meathook, nailing Reigns. Nobody cares. Orton tries an RKO but Ryback fights out and hits a Spinebuster on Orton. He goes for Shell Shock but Orton escapes. Reigns hits a Spear on Ryback and rolls out of the ring. The Authority approaches the ring, so Reigns dives at all five guys. Rollins gets involved and fights off Reigns. Show hits a KO Punch to finish him off. Orton grabs Rollins’ hair and drags him in the ring, then hits an Elevated DDT. In comes J&J and Ryback hits them with Spinebusters. Orton hits an RKO and he’s the #1 Contender. WINNER: Randy Orton via RKO.
RATING: **. This wasn’t that bad…it’s just stale.
Post-match, Rollins hits a Curb Stomp on Orton and stands tall as we go off the air.
OVERALL: **1/2. Nobody cares about any of the Main Event guys and it’s really weighing things down.
What happens when there’s a crack in the foundation? Fans of USA’s undercover cop drama “Graceland” are anxious to find out, considering the show’s season two finale saw lead character Mike Warren (Aaron Tveit) go into cardiac arrest and flatline after a vengeful foe’s deadly visit.
Or did he?
The Workprint sat down with Tveit and co-star Daniel Sunjata at NBCUniversal’s Summer Press Day in Pasadena, Calif. April 2 to discuss Mike’s fate, and how the rest of the agents will “narrow focus” and reconvene in light of what appeared to be a devastating loss — at least initially.
When the season two finale aired, you guys still didn’t know if you were going to have a third season or not. For all you knew, it could have been a series finale which, considering Mike’s condition, would have really left fans reeling — and did. So, when you got the news that a third season was greenlit after all, how did you react?
Jeff Daly/USA Network
AARON TVEIT: I am in the first episode in some capacity, but I don’t want to say what that exactly is or when it is or how it plays out. But they’ve really found a good way to frame it all and make it work. Beyond that, I don’t want to say too much. We could have left it that way, but I’m glad that we didn’t. Even if it did, like, the show begins with me graduating from the FBI academy and ends with me dying? [laughs] I joked with the writers that if they did that, they could just insert a scene after me flatlining with [Courtney B. Vance] just picking up a phone and going, “Oh, damn.” [laughs] And that’s it. What would that have meant? I’m glad that’s not the case.
Briggs’ reaction to Mike’s apparent death was so emotional. This is an ensemble show, but you guys are ostensibly the two leads. The dichotomy between your characters positions you as essentially two sides of the same coin. I think, despite the ethically questionable things your characters have done, these are inherently good guys who are trying to do the right thing within their scope of really difficult circumstances. In terms of what’s on deck for season three, how do you think the structure of the show is going to be affected with regards to Mike’s fate? Sid is certainly being anchored as more of a consistent villain than we’ve seen in the past.
DANIEL SUNJATA: The plotline with Sid is something that is addressed at the very beginning. Where we leave off in season two is pretty much where we pick up for season three, almost out of necessity. We wouldn’t really be able to move forward or add any dimension or texture to the show unless we handle these things first. Plus, there were so many bad decisions made by so many members of the household moving toward the season two finale that a lot of that needs to be resolved. Two of the buzzwords for season three have been “atonement” and “penance,” and also “sin eating,” which is kind of an ambiguous term that only fans will understand when they actually start watching season three. We have a lot of making up to do if we are to maintain the integrity of the relationships in the house.
TVEIT: In season two, everyone was kind of on their own personal mission. They all had a goal in mind and a singular focus that got spread out and away from helping each other and trusting each other. I think that in season three, we’re bringing that back in and, like you said about Briggs and Mike, I think they’ve now learned that in the outset it seemed like they were such different people but they’re really similar, and on similar paths. Where we leave things off and can potentially go, I think they could begin to understand they can lean on each other and hopefully do some good instead of making these terrible decisions and having to compromise. That’s my hope for where the show’s going, that these people can come back together and actually affect some positive change instead of having to make these terrible choices all the time. They can actually, it sounds so cheesy, but do some good.
With the revelation that Paige gave up Mike’s location to Sid, what is Briggs going to do? How will the rest of the group handle this betrayal?
Jeff Daly/USA Network
SUNJATA: We shall see. Paige is in a little bit of trouble. [laughs]
TVEIT: Yup. Everyone’s going to have to have to take responsibility for their actions, including her. So, I think that’ll be really interesting to see how that factors in with everything.
You both come from ensemble-driven backgrounds: theater, TV shows like “Rescue Me,” “Gossip Girl,” “Grey’s Anatomy,” et cetera. Obviously, things change from project to project in terms of how you approach a role, but are there any consistent philosophies you guys have learned along the way that help you with your work on “Graceland”?
SUNJATA: Every actor has their own approach to their craft, their own approach to the work. You have to trust that casting has done their job in bringing the right personality types as well as high levels of talent together. You can’t expect the other actors in the room to necessarily work the way you work. So, giving everybody their own space to approach things in their own way, and hoping as a group that there’s a chemistry in which everyone gels, and the final product will reflect that. Trying to muscle your way of doing things into a situation where there’s a group of other people trying to do the same thing is not the best approach.
TVEIT: And I think we’re really lucky that all the actors on our show really take this seriously and, it sounds so silly, are actually prepared every day. They have a clear vision of what they’re doing, so once that’s off the table you don’t have to worry about it and we can get to work and play and see what these scenes are. It’s always interesting on our show; you would think that a scene in the house with all six of us would be the hardest thing to shoot, but those scenes actually seem to just go and happen and take their own life, and I think that’s a testament to how prepared everyone is.
SUNJATA: It also helps that we work with a creator like Jeff Eastin and producers who operate collaboratively and take our input. If we float a really sucky idea, they’ll be like, “That sucks. Not going to do that,” and if it’s something good they’ll say, “You know what? We didn’t think of it that way,” and it’ll end up being reflected in the final product.
TVEIT: Yeah, it really feels like we’re part of the artistic process of this show, which is a nice thing.
There’s some meta layers to the show with you guys playing characters who are, essentially, playing characters. How does that affect your approach? Undercover cops are, in many ways, actors themselves.
Jeff Daly/USA Network
SUNJATA: It can be a little confusing. I call it the Russian doll effect, kind of like a fractal. Every time you zoom in, another one opens up. So, staying in touch with Jeff, keeping a close relationship with your showrunner, there’s somebody who can always help you place the event of a particular scene in the right context so you remember what to play and what not to play, like what I know as Daniel but Briggs is not supposed to know in this particular moment. That can be hard to keep track of.
TVEIT: It’s a lot of fun, and a huge challenge as an actor to do that, because you’re never just doing one thing. You’re never having one thought or one feeling about something. A lot of times, you don’t want anyone else to know how you really feel so you may be projecting something else. I’ve thought a lot about the first season when there was this big secret that I was investigating Briggs, and I always had to write it out, map it out for myself what the audience knew that the other characters didn’t. So then, in my coverage and my close-ups, how looks and the way I reacted was a nod to the audience, but the other people didn’t know that. It’s a really interesting dynamic to play, and you can go as deep as you want.
Let’s talk a little bit about the themes of “Graceland.” Daniel, you mentioned atonement earlier. Jeff Eastin has talked about revenge and justice in context of the show, and in one interview he cited a Chinese proverb that basically says, “If you seek revenge, be prepared to dig two graves.” Do you think that’s a perspective from which the characters could benefit as well, or do they not even think about it like that?
TVEIT: Well, I think that if there is a going forward with Mike Warren, that’s something he’s really going to have to deal with. Season two was this kind of Shakespearian, “King Lear” ambition trip that he was on, and he was completely blinded by it. Hopefully, he’ll have some self-reflection and realize that if this is going to continue he needs a whole new approach. So, I think that’s something that really rings true for me with Mike, especially.
SUNJATA: I think it’s safe to say we’re aware that if retribution becomes our primary goal and objective, we’ve seen where that kind of pointed, one-minded focus – especially when something selfish is the motivating force behind it – can lead. I think ultimately we’re interested in coming together as a house again and trying to, as Aaron keeps saying, do some good and actually affect some positive change instead of just racking up all these dead bodies everywhere we go.
Right. And in terms of some of the interpersonal relationships between your characters and the others, of course, there’s Briggs, Charlie and the baby to think about. So there’s a lot more at stake than just yourselves.
SUNJATA: Oh, yeah, that’s still going on. There’s that thing, too. [chuckles]
Yes, that.
Jeff Daly/USA Network
SUNJATA: What will happen with that is something we’re obviously not allowed to speak about, but we do begin season three with that being something that still needs to be addressed, for sure. I absolutely love working with Vanessa Ferlito, by the way. She’s such a good actress.
I loved her in “Grindhouse,” definitely.
SUNJATA: She’s great in “Grindhouse.”
TVEIT: She’s awesome. She’s one of the most natural, just grounded people I’ve ever worked with. She’s great, man.
SUNJATA: But the fact we’re not gonna have the majority of our scenes in Briggs’ bedroom or kitchen this season, I am happy about that.
Aaron, I know you said you’re at least involved in the first episode of next season in “some capacity,” but regardless of what happens to Mike, his presence is always going to be felt on the show. Season one kind of focused on Briggs, season two kind of focused more on Mike. As far as you guys going forward, can you join forces from here on despite what might prove to be a major shift?
TVEIT: Yeah, I think that’s what’s really exciting is that these guys have finally figured out that they’re very, very similar. All these guys are A-players, but [Mike and Briggs] are double-A. They’re brilliant. They just, instinctively, are really great agents in ways maybe the others aren’t. I think they’ve finally realized they have something together that could really do some good things. The core of the show, too, is that it is this complicated relationship where we are friends and it’s a mentor/mentee relationship, but there’s also the fact that I was investigating him. It’s just a really complicated thing, and the kind of in and out of that and going back and forth is where the show lives, and how all the conflict can emanate from that place.
Jeff has talked about how he enjoyed leaving these loose ends. Without knowing if there would be a season three or not, the finale could have been a definitive ending depending on how you interpret it. But there’s still a lot left out in the open. Do you think the show will continue maintaining that framework, or start working toward some real closure?
TVEIT: I think we’ll definitely have some closure from what was started before, but then as far as the end of where this season is going and beyond, I don’t really know.
SUNJATA: One thing they definitely seem to be working toward is instead of having plotlines for each individual character move in different directions, they’re starting to narrow focus and have us reconvene as a house. It’s reestablishing, I think, the balance of power and chemistry that kicked the show off.
Jeff Daly/USA Network
Do you guys even try to project into the future about what you think might happen to your characters, or do you like to stay in the present moment and deal with what the script sets forth as it’s written?
TVEIT: Jeff gives us kind of an overall scope of where the year may be going, but then the details of how we’re going to get there are left in the grey. I think it’s good to have an idea where we’re going in the end, you know, I mean obviously you don’t ever want to play the end of something, but to blindly walk through it would be really tough. So, I’m appreciative of that, but I also enjoy reading the scripts and being surprised on a week-to-week basis, too. It’s an interesting balance and I’m grateful he fills us in a little bit.
Yeah. Some of the benefit of working with a 13-episode season on basic cable is you’re able to have both structure and content freedom that you’re not necessarily given on a network show or a feature-length project or a theatrical production. So, what are some of the benefits you’ve experienced working with USA Network?
TVEIT: It’s great. I think it’s an ideal amount of time. Trying to do this kind of serialized story over 22 episodes and maintaining that throughline would be so hard.
SUNJATA: That’d be crazy.
TVEIT: I think that’s why a lot of these shows that do that many episodes are procedural, just one and done for an hour. That’s why that formula works. But this seems to be really great for our number of episodes.
SUNJATA: I would agree. I would agree.
Are “Graceland” fans in for heartbreak or happiness? Share your thoughts in our comment section, and find out if Mike Warren returns to the house for good when “Graceland” kicks off its third season Thursday, June 25 at 10/9c on USA. Check out the first teaser below!
I never thought I’d look at Saul’s gaudy white Cadillac or pinky ring as sentimental tokens, but after seeing the season finale, “Marco”, they take on new meaning. More than eye-catching statement pieces, they’re an ode to his bygone friend. Those tacky accoutrements sum up the dichotomy of Saul Goodman and Jimmy McGill: on the surface he’s a con man but underneath it all he’s a good guy.
This episode – directed by the creator of Saul Goodman, Peter Gould – covers a lot of ground, but it also lets scenes develop from innocuous starting points. During a never-ending game of Bingo, Jimmy’s Dalai Lama demeanor cracks and he divulges further information regarding the event that landed him in jail, made him beholden to his brother, brought him to the Georgia O’Keefian “hellscape” of Albuquerque, which ultimately led to Chuck’s betrayal. The “Chicago sunroof” incident is yet another example of how Jimmy’s (arguably justifiable) actions of defecating on/in a car, leads to the universe reciprocating in kind.
Then there’s the Coin scene, where we see “Miles dusting off the trumpet.” After hearing so much about Slippin’ Jimmy, we see him at work. Sure, we got a glimpse of his skills in “Hero” with the Rolex con, but we were observing that through the eyes of the mark, as opposed to he and Marco’s points of view. During this scene and the subsequent montage, Jimmy and Marco reel their marks in with misdirection, using their greed against them. While this may cause some to yearn for the days when smartphones couldn’t quash the ability to pass as Kevin Costner; it’s Jimmy’s talent to tell a story that sell the cons.
Despite a slew of successful rinky-dink scams, his crowded inbox of elderly clients draw Jimmy back to Albuquerque. It’s hard to say if it’s desire to help or guilt that motivates him; either way it’s the right thing to do. Conversely, it’s Jimmy’s desire to be a good friend that keeps him in town for “one last job”, and when that phrase is uttered you know there’ll be a hitch.
Sadly Marco’s passing and his dying words are detrimental to Jimmy’s life in Albuquerque, leaving us to wonder what could have been. While he’s walking into the courthouse, practicing for an interview that will lead him toward everything he has striven for, it’s the memory of Marco that causes him to abandon that life. Seeking guidance, he turns to Mike who echoes a version of his code, but Jimmy (or is it time we call him Saul) alludes that his motivation to do the morally right thing was a facade before he drives off.
I’ll argue (and maybe erroneously so, since we’re only one season in) that Better Call Saul is the anti-Breaking Bad. Where it’s predecessor showed the transformation of a wolf shedding his sheep’s clothing, this show illustrates the process of a sheep donning a snazzy pinstriped wolf suit. Walt had a darkness to him, and despite amassing an obscene amount of money, he was never satisfied. He stayed in the drug game because “he was good at it”. Now we see Jimmy donning a hardened exterior, but I don’t believe it’s genuine; he just doesn’t have the stomach for it (as we saw in “Mijo”).
Even if they’re wrong, you can only be told by your friends and family “you are who you are” and “you can’t change” until you start to believe it. Even though Jimmy vows that he’s never going to let “doing the right thing” come in his way again; you can’t change who you are – or at least that’s what everyone keeps saying.
Put on your chicken suit and take your Teamocil because ladies, gents, and hook-handed creatures we’re getting more Arrested Development. According to producer Brian Grazer;
“People are loyal to it, and we’re going to do another 17 episodes,” Grazer said. So stay tuned for Arrested Development.”
For those who weren’t fans of the fourth season on Netflix, I could see how this would be frightening news. That season was a mess and not having the actors together ruined the thing we all loved most about the show, the love and affection in the Bluth family. However, Ron Howard has said that he’ll be recording new narration while Mitch Hurwitz is re-editing the series to fit together more chronologically. Hey, it’s something, amirite?
To all you nay-sayers who are hesitant about more Arrested Development, there are dozens of us who want it to continue. DOZENS.
USA Network has announced their summer schedule during their Upfront this morning in New York City. The schedule can be seen below.
From the Press Release:
TUESDAY, JUNE 2 – CHRISLEY KNOWS BEST 9/8c
Season three of CHRISLEY KNOWS BEST promises even more over–the-top ToddChrisley moments, as he and his wife Julie continue to raise their two teenagers, Chase and Savannah, eight-year-old son Grayson and two-year-old granddaughter Chloe – all under one roof. The 18-episode third season will air in two parts with 12 episodes this summer.
TUESDAY, JUNE 2 – ROYAL PAINS 10/9 c
Season seven of ROYAL PAINS brings us back to the sun-drenched Hamptons with Hank (Mark Feuerstein) setting his sights on obtaining what’s been missing in his life, while Evan (Paulo Costanzo) juggles his promotion with his desire to start a family with Paige (Brooke D’Orsay) and Divya (Reshma Shetty) fights to keep her family together. The series also stars Ben Shenkman and Campbell Scott.
THURSDAY, JUNE 18 – COMPLICATIONS 9/8c and 10/9c
From the creator of “Burn Notice,” comes the fast-paced and unpredictable thriller, COMPLICATIONS. The series stars Jason O’Mara as Dr. John Ellison, a suburban doctor who, while still dealing with the emotional effects of his daughter’s death, intervenes in a drive-by shooting, saving a young boy’s life. The series also stars Jessica Szohr, Beth Riesgraf (“Leverage”), and Lauren Stamile (“Burn Notice”).
TUESDAY, JUNE 23 – WWE TOUGH ENOUGH 8/7c
WWE TOUGH ENOUGH is an action-packed competition reality show from the ratings juggernaut WWE. Featuring a new format, with live elements, the series gives unknown athletes a chance at being crowned the next WWE Superstar or Diva. Fans can expect harder challenges, fiercer competition and rivalries that are more dramatic than ever.
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24 – SUITS 9/8c
In the fifth season premiere, Pearson Specter Litt has scored a hard-fought victory, but the fight has left the firm shaken. Although she avoided jail time, Donna (Sarah Rafferty) has left Harvey (Gabriel Macht), after more than a decade of working together. She is now working for his long-time rival Louis (Rick Hoffman). And while Jessica (Gina Torres) readjusts to being single, Mike (Patrick J. Adams) and Rachel (Meghan Markle) are giddy after his marriage proposal.
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24 – MR. ROBOT 10/9c
This techno thriller follows Elliot (Rami Malek), a young programmer who works as a cyber-security engineer by day and a vigilante hacker by night. When the mysterious leader (Christian Slater) of an underground hacker group recruits him to destroy the firm he is paid to protect, he must make the decision of a lifetime. MR. ROBOT also stars Portia Doubleday (“Her”), Carly Chaikin (“Suburgatory”) and Martin Wallström (“Simple Simon”).
THURSDAY, JUNE 25 – GRACELAND 10/9c
Season three resumes after an attack on Mike (Aaron Tveit). Paul Briggs (Daniel Sunjata) gets coerced into a high-risk operation, while his pregnant counterpart Charlie (Vanessa Ferlito) is on a mission to find the person who nearly killed her. Joe ‘Johnny’ Tuturro (Manny Montana), Dale Jakes (Brandon Jay McLaren) and Paige (Serinda Swan) each seek normalcy as federal agents with the FBI, DEA and ICE living in an undercover world of their own.
TUESDAY, AUGUST 4 – PLAYING HOUSE 10/9c
The critically acclaimed comedy returns for a season two with an innovative windowing structure that, each week, will allow viewers to preview next week’s episode on their Video-On-Demand platforms. Childhood best friends Maggie Caruso (Lennon Parham) and Emma Crawford (Jessica St. Clair) are in store for their biggest adventure yet — raising a baby. This season, Maggie and Emma navigate their way through life as co-parents to Maggie’s daughter Charlotte. The colorful residents of Pinebrook, CT also return, including Emma’s first love Mark (Keegan Michael Key).
As hard as it is to believe, the 2015 summer movie season is almost upon us and to kick things off the staff here at The Workprint each submitted their votes for their most anticipated flicks being released in the months of May through August. Now we just have to hope that these ten movies end up living up to the hype…
10. Trainwreck – July 17
Summer blockbusters tend to be big, action spectacles but every summer deserves at least one great comedy and this summer’s most likely contender is this latest effort from Judd Apatow. Starring Comedy Central goddess Amy Schumer, this tale of a commitment-averse young woman meeting her match in a straight-laced doctor (SNL’s Bill Hader) looks full of genuinely funny characters with a heavy dash of inappropriateness tossed in for good measure.
9. Fantastic Four – August 7
This reboot of 20th Century Fox’s previously loathsome series of films based on Marvel Comic’s Fantastic Four was strikingly mysterious throughout most of its’ production process but the initial trailer promises something a little more slickly made and mature than previous attempts at bringing these characters to the screen. Led by wunderkind director Josh Trank (Chronicle) and an impressive cast including Miles Teller, Michael B. Jordan, Kate Mara, and Jamie Bell, this iteration of the classic characters may prove to be one of this summer’s biggest surprises.
8. Tomorrowland – May 22
Tomorrowland director Brad Bird has become one of the most reliable directors working in Hollywood today so when you also throw in George Clooney, science fiction, and a mysterious mythology that includes a futuristic world created by Walt Disney himself, how can you not want to see this movie?
7. Inside Out – June 19
Disney’s PIXAR promises a return to greatness with this latest animated effort that takes us inside the human brain to see our individual emotions at work. Have any doubts? Checks out this voice cast: Amy Poehler, Mindy Kaling, Diane Lane, Bill Hader, Lewis Black, and Phyllis Smith. Yeah…I’m on board for that amount of funny.
6. Ant-Man – July 17
Marvel Studios has become a staple of the summer movie season since 2008 with its’ ongoing saga of the Marvel Cinematic Universe and this summer boasts no less than two new entries, but this particular film might be their riskiest yet. With an extremely drawn out road to production, a last-minute swapping of directors, and questions about the movie’s overall tone, Ant-Man has some people wondering if this will be Marvel Studio’s first big blunder. Regardless of how it turns out heaven knows we’ll be in those theater seats to find out!
5. Pitch Perfect 2 – May 15
Who woulda thought that a sequel to a relatively small film about an all-girls acapella group would be ranked as one of this year’s most anticipated movies? Hell, who even thought it would get a sequel?! Such is the power of the much loved original film and its’ immensely likable cast. This sequel gets bonus Interesting Points for being directed by co-star Elizabeth Banks in her first effort behind the camera. Here’s hoping she nails it!
4. Jurassic World – June 12
Reviving a series that has essentially been extinct for the past 14 years is a risky proposition but they brought out the big guns to bring this one back with a bang. The name of said big guns? Chris. Pratt.
Oh, and he is friends with raptors. What else do you want?!
3. Mad Max: Fury Road – May 15
The nominees for Most Bugnuts Batshit Crazy Trailer of 2015 are…only this film. Seriously. Just watch it.
And weep.
2. Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation – July 31
Much like the currently explosive Fast and the Furious series, this particular franchise only seems to be getting better with age. Tom Cruise continues to be game for doing his own insane stunts and no matter how kooky he may be in real life, the man rarely lets us down on the big screen. We definitely choose to accept this mission.
1. Avengers: Age of Ultron – May 1
Expecting something else? I didn’t think so. Marvel Studio’s second big team-up film and their first flick of 2015 also happens to be the film that will kick off the summer movie season in just a few short weeks. We here at TheWorkprint gave this movie twice as many votes as any other film on this list and we know we’re not alone in our anticipation to see some of our favorite heroes together again on screen. Destined to break more box office records than Iron Man has gadgets, how can you possibly hope to resist?
Honorable Mentions
The following films may have missed making our top ten list but enough of us gave them a shoutout to be worth mentioning here:
There are some big movies coming out this summer that NONE OF US bothered giving points to and well…that might be cause for concern. Approach these five movies with great caution:
After months and months of waiting, I almost forgot Outlander was set to return. With Game of Thrones’ fifth season premiering next week and slew of other new shows in between Season One – Volume One and Season One – Volume Two (what a mouthful), I’m not surprised many others forgot about the show. Hopefully, Starz will take all this commentary to heart and eschew the mid-season break next year.
All that being said, Outlander did return on a good note, making sure to hit every emotional string possible. I have expressed my concern several times about how the writers would handle the story in “The Reckoning” but to be honest, I think it went rather well. Jamie started the episode with his narration this time around and while I’m still not a fan of narration, it was at least nice to have inner monologue about anything other than to “get home, or die trying.”
I want to take a moment here to discuss an overlooked character thus far on the show, and that’s Scotland itself. The Reckoning is rife with gorgeous shots of the Highlands, rushing rivers, rolling hills, rustic structures; I don’t think any show right now comes close to the natural scenery and fantastic cinematography of Outlander. That’s right, even you, Game of Thrones. There’s also something to be said for the amazing costumes each episode. Bonus! Today I learned how men (or maybe just Jamie) put on kilts.
After Jamie’s introduction into how he became a man, we retrace our steps through Jamie’s eyes, up until the moment he rescues Claire at Fort William from the clutches of Black Jack Randall. Tobias Menzies has taken Black Jack’s already sadistic persona and upped the ante. Much like Joffrey, you cannot help but love to hate him, wishing for his demise at every turn. It’s all made worse by the fact that in the show, I actually like Frank Randall. The entire scene at Fort William was beautifully laid out, exciting and emotionally intense, complete with a large explosion to sate action fans. Claire and Jamie’s leap into the dark water below was a beautiful metaphor for what’s to come for them.
Far and away the best part of the episode was the fight between Jamie and Claire after the rescue. Jamie expects and apology for not obeying his orders and Claire is having none of his bullshit. It was a raw glimpse into the shift from living for yourself to living for another person. As Jamie slumped to the ground, defeated by Claire’s stubbornness, I felt an empathy toward the character I never felt while reading the books. Stricken, he looked at his hands and choked out, “I went to you at Fort William, armed with an empty pistol and my bare hands.” And then the heartfelt, “The way you screamed.” Like Claire I went from furious that he would dare claim her as property to a gentle understanding that Jamie only acted the way he did out of fear.
Next came the scene, the one we’ve all been dreading. This was one of those situations where I wish I wasn’t a book reader and had no idea what was coming. Reading about Jamie’s “punishment” of Claire was difficult and at times, gruesome. History or not, I could not understand any of the reasoning. After, it was hard to care much about the romance between the two. However, in the show, it was almost comical. With light-hearted music matching the intensity of the couple’s fight, I found myself laughing as Claire threw objects at a smirking Jamie. The scene, while staying true to what was written and clansman rule, only solidified the warring forces that are Jamie and Claire. I still didn’t like it, but I understood it.
Their coming together is not an easy romance. Jamie is trying to live up to what the other clansmen expect of him, what they have always expected of men. Meanwhile, Claire, a modern and ferocious woman, fights back at every turn. Catriona Balfe is nothing short of phenomenal as Claire. Every look has meaning, every action laced with her strength.
While Jamie and Claire’s relationship is the sole focus of the episode (and get used to it because it’s the purpose of the entire series), there is some political dealing going on at Castle Leoch. In the books, many of these political scenes were a chore to read, as they were simply drenched in filler. However, Starz and its writers have streamlined the process and made it a joy to watch. Colum and Dougal’s familial relationship continues to spiral downhill, even with Jamie’s peacekeeping efforts.
It is the MacKenzie brothers’ compromise that spurns an idea within Jamie, making him realize that things not need be the way they’ve always been, and maybe when it comes to his relationship with Claire, tradition shouldn’t become a factor. It was a strong turning point for the character as he cast aside the values he’s also known and pledges his life and love to the woman before him. Claire accepts his change but ensures his loyalty with a knife at his throat in the midst of their romp on the floor. Not going to lie, I cheered a bit at her badassery. The episode ends with Claire finding an ill omen from the spurned Laoghaire and from the previews for episodes to come, it seems the young woman isn’t going away soon.
Overall, I am happy with Outlander’s returning episode. I don’t want to say it was worth the wait because I’ll be damned if I’m going to encourage this mid-season break nonsense, but it definitely pushed the show back into the my list of top shows for the year. Outlander continues to take what I would consider are mediocre books and turn them into something worth watching. That is a large part a credit to the two leads and the beautiful scenery highlighting their love.
Tale of the Tape: You can tell this was obviously taped before the Academy Awards because no one mentioned the Oscar that is now sitting in both of their trophy cases. Common is a rapper, John Legend is an R+B singer. John Legend is also of course, the doting husband of the (I’m assuming) intoxicated color commentator Chrissy Teigen. She of course, as asserted that she will remain unbiased, which means siding with Common the whole time. FAIR PLAY CHRISSY TEIGEN!!!
Round 1
Common – I Want You Back
Song Choice: 7/10
Safe, comfortable, nothing too serious here. This song always conjures good memories. Safe choice Common, way to bring the Jackson 5 back to the forefront.
Execution: 4/10
Common is not crooning when there are no words. You absolutely cannot lip-sync a Michael Jackson song if you’re not lip syncing the noises that he makes when he’s not singing words. HEE-HOO!!! Get your shit together Common.
Staging: 5/10
Some basic dancing, harkening back to the Jackson 5 days, with LL Cool J and John Legend playing background dancers in the back. Nothing too crazy, as is expected for the first performance.
The Teigen Score: 5 out of 10 Teigens. Completely average, run of the mill. Safe choices, I guess that post-Oscar invincibility hasn’t happened yet. Note: LL COOL J, NEVER IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND HAS ANYONE EVER REFERRED TO MICHAEL JACKSON AS “MIKE JACK”. Thank you for completely losing whatever shred of your street cred you had left.
John Legend – Slow Motion
Song Choice: 10/10
Completely out of character for John Legend. This song was also played at many middle school dances attended by the author in his halcyon youth. Completely and utterly inappropriate, but the DJs had no idea what it meant, and neither did we. No harm, no foul right?
Execution: 9/10
John Legend lip syncing perfectly while rapping about “outside dick”. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade lip-sync about outside dick.
Staging: 7/10
John Legend put in a grill and slow-motioned. In case you don’t get the image in your head, it’s John Legend pantomiming hitting it doggystyle while spanking an ass, in slow motion. However, there were no backup dancers, so points off.
The Teigen Score: 9 out of 10 Teigens. HOW DARE YOU NOT SUPPORT YOUR HUSBAND IN HIS TIME OF GLORY CHRISSY. I’m out Chrissy Teigen-ing Chrissy Teigen right now. Christ, what has happened to my life.
Round 2
Common – All Night Long
Song Choice: 6/10
Okay, it’s a classic, but again, it’s from too long ago. I just feel there’s a disconnect, but hey, Lionel Ritchie is timeless….right?
Execution: 4/10
Poor, just poor. You can tell that he was so focused on the production and staging of the song that he forgot about the core of lip-syncing, the actual syncing of the lips to song. It felt like he just kept singing “ALL NIGHT LONG”, but that could just be the fault of the song. All flash, no substance.
Staging: 8/10
LOOK AT THAT MAGNIFICENT JERICURL AND RED DEEP V. That, and Common breakdanced. He obviously cared more about how it looked. I guess he paid homage to the song. That might be enough for Chrissy, but it’s not enough for me Common. IT’S NOT ENOUGH.
The Teigen Score: 6 out of 10 Teigens. It’s all about the art Common. First you don’t make the Michael Jackson noises, and then you focus on your costuming and dancing. At least those two things you nailed. I’ll give you a bump for that.
John Legend – U Can’t Touch This
Song Choice: 5/10
Honestly? Not impressed, too predictable. Everyone and their mother knows that this was coming. After Slow-Motion, I expected so much more from you Mr. Legend.
Execution: 8/10
Ok, John Legend knows his lyrics. This is the second time where he’s just nailed it. Nothing much to say here.
Staging: 6/10
THE COSTUMING!! THE GLASSES!! THE HAREM PANTS!!! THE JACKET!!! And most importantly, THE HEADSET!!! So 80’s, so good. If it was costuming alone, he’d get a 10/10, but unfortunately, his dancing was just awful. His running man was off tempo, and when the breakdown hit, well, John Legend proves why he usually sits behind a piano.
The Teigen Score: 6 out of 10 Teigens. Predictable, vanilla, but solid. In short, John Legend.
Do We Agree With The Audience?
NO. NO. Round 2 was basically a tie, but John Legend just destroyed Common in Round 1 with Slow-Motion. UNACCEPTABLE STUDIO AUDIENCE. UNACCEPTABLE CHRISSY TEIGEN. DOES MY SCIENTIFIC* TEIGEN SCORE MEAN NOTHING TO YOU. Unforgiveable**.
*The Teigen Score has absolutely ZERO science behind it.
**Totally forgiveable, just take a selfie with me Chrissy, and we’ll call it even.
